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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Breaking Down Barriers

On the bi guy forum, I revisited a post entitled, “Does Race Matter?” and, honestly, I wasn’t surprised at how many of the guys commenting says that it does and I admit to being somewhat disappointed about that.  You see, being bisexual is about breaking down the wall that others try to keep in place between being heterosexual and homosexual; it’s about liberating one’s self from the usual dogma about sex and dogma that is designed to be divisive up to and including “staying with your own kind.”

The men commenting cited things like a lack of attraction to men of other races and some – predictably – have preferences they’ve set up that excludes more men than they include.  It’s not that people don’t have preferences – we all have them and even I do… but where is it written that once you establish a preference you can’t change it?  One guy said that he’s never been with a Black man and he’s sure he wouldn’t like it if he did; yep, someone asked him why and he declined to answer but, as it tends to do (and has done for as long as I can remember), if you’ve never done it, how do you know you’re not gonna like it?  What makes us behave like this and, importantly, should we behave like this and more so when, as bisexual men, the one thing we have in common is our shared desire to have sex with other men and women?

To be bisexual means stepping outside of long-established comfort zones or, a bit more familiar, getting out of the boxes that society has built for us and has convinced us to stay in no matter what.  Is there a point of climbing out of the box of heterosexuality and into the bisexual box… but then seal yourself into yet another box because if you’re a Hispanic man, you wouldn’t want to have sex with an Oriental man?  Does it make sense to break out of the heterosexual box… but then impose limits on yourself because of the color of someone’s skin, or the size of their dick, or whether they’re gym rats or couch potatoes?

Apparently, to some people, it does make sense…

If I don’t want to have sex with someone, it’s because there’s something about them that I’m not feeling… but it’s not because of the color of their skin, what kind of physical shape they’re in, the size of their dicks and other things that, while having these things as preferences allow us to get what we want and in the way we want it, they also put limits on one’s ability to experience the diversity to be found in sex and, yes, even as a bisexual.  Sure, you could say that if you’ve had one dick, you’ve had them all… and that’s not accurate since, um, dicks come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors, don’t they?  You could say that if you’ve had one man, you’ve had them all… except that’s not accurate either since, duh, we are not really the same no matter how much we try to homogenize and generalize each other.

A lot of guys who commented did say that the color of the other guy’s skin didn’t matter one bit and they, like myself, employ the KISS principle – Keep It Simple, Stupid:  Is he clean and healthy?  Does his dick work in the way we need it to?  Do we like him enough to want to have sex with him?  Is he willing to do whatever with you?  Is he your idea of an asshole/jerk?  If the answers are, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, and no,” and, of course, if the time and place are right, then it’s on.  Now… if you’re a white guy and there’s a Black guy who meets this criteria… why would you not go for it?  If you believe that your preferences take precedence over your desire for sex, maybe you tell the guy thanks but no thanks… but by letting your preferences drive the car, how do you know that you just didn’t pass up a fantastic sexual experience?

Sometimes I think we get confused about preferences and principles or we treat them as one and the same.  Take the above-mentioned KISS thingy:  If the answers to those questions are all “yes” then, no – principle says that you don’t ever have sex with anyone who is an asshole, cunt, or whatever derogatory word you wanna use for someone who falls into this category.  This is a matter of principle… not a matter of preference unless you firmly believe that preference is always a matter of principle.  Now, let me say at this point that if this the way you think, you are well within your rights as a human being to think this way… but I’m the guy who’ll ask you why you think this way and simply because I’ve always been curious as to why we do behave in this way about a whole lot of things… and whether or not it really makes sense to, say, not like broccoli just because you don’t like the way it looks… but you’ve never tasted it.

Like, I know I can’t stand liver… because I was made to eat it or be hungry growing up; I didn’t like it then and, today, you couldn’t pay me to eat liver.  That’s experience at work… but if an Oriental guy passes my KISS test – and let’s say that I’ve never had sex with such a person – why would I say no to a chance to broaden my sexual horizons?  Does it make sense to shy away from a sexual experience when, at this point, I’ve not had an actual experience like this?  I’ve often wondered if our ingrained “fear of the other” and fear of the unknown plays into this.

Does race matter?  Should it matter?  Of course, readers and friends, you’re gonna keep your own council about this.  I know that we – humans – have a bad habit of allowing bad experiences influence future actions, like, having sex with a Hispanic person could have been so traumatic in some way that you’d never have sex with another Hispanic person even if they were the last person on earth and/or your life depended on it.  And, yes, it’s normal that if we have a bad experience, we’d rather not have another one so if you had a bad sexual experience with a Black man, sure, making sure you don’t have a repeat makes sense… except the reality is that just because you had a bad experience with that guy doesn’t mean that other bad experiences will happen if you go for it again because, um, despite what some folks like to say, we really aren’t all the same, outwardly or inwardly.

I also know that we tend to take the word of others when it comes to this; someone has a bad sexual experience and tells someone else about it… and then that person decides, nope, I’m never gonna do it with a (add some ethnic shit here) because it didn’t work for them… but how do you know it wouldn’t work for you since, um, they had the bad experience… but you didn’t or haven’t?  Like, a Black dude once told me that he’d never do it with a white guy and went on a rant about the one time he had a shitty sexual experience with a white guy and then added that no self-respecting Black man would ever have sex with a white person.  Of course, he then asked me if I’d have sex with a white person and I said, “Sure, why not?  Just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean I’d have one…”  Let’s say that he greatly lowered his opinion of me and more so when he learned that not only would I have sex with a white person, I’d been having lots of sex with all kinds of people, color, race, and/or ethnicity notwithstanding… and because it could be done.

And I’d never say that I’ve not had a bad sexual experience with people – I’ve had my share of them… but I’m not gonna let something like having a bad experience with another Black man stop me from having any future experiences; it would stop me from doing it with that particular guy again and that does make sense.

So to bring this particular rant to an end, I’ll do so by saying this:  Bisexuality represents a flexibility in our sexual behavior but when we start slicing and dicing things to the nth degree, being bisexual becomes inflexible.  I prefer not to have sex with effeminate gay men not because I don’t like them but because, um, they make me insane trying to be more like a woman than the real thing.  Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep with an effeminate gay man if he passes KISS because the real bottom line is that it’s sex and the sex is only going to be as good as the people involved can make it and that isn’t determined by the color of one’s skin as much as it is determined by what’s inside their head and their lust, passion, and desire to have sex.  I prefer not to kiss guys because, uh, some are just lousy kissers… doesn’t mean I’d never want to kiss a guy going forward and I’d never say that I wouldn’t because I don’t know what the future might bring.  I prefer sucking white dick because, er, um, I like the way white guys taste… but that doesn’t mean I’d say no to a Latino or an Oriental or a Black man if he passes the KISS test.  If he doesn’t pass the test, principle says nothing can happen and shouldn’t because one just does not set themselves up to fail or be disappointed when it’s kinda proven – by failing the KISS test in any way – that you’d be making a mistake just for the sake of busting a nut.

Thus endeth the rant…

 
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Posted by on 27 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Escalation

So one day, I met with a guy who was anxious to end his curiosity over what it would be like to get with another guy.  He was really specific about how he wanted to go about this – let’s get together and masturbate together but that didn’t mean we’d jerk each other off.  I was okay with this despite being a bit amused because as we sat and talked about this, he had a very serious look on his face that I just found kinda funny.

That he wanted to start with the smallest of baby steps made sense; too many guys wanna jump into the whole nine yards as a first time and most wind up regretting such a decision.  Anyway, I assured him that nothing was going to happen other than he wanted to happen and I meant that; I’ve also heard of guys being told one thing, only to have something else happen and that’s kinda fucked up in my opinion.

So we go to his place and head straight to the bedroom where we both strip from the waist down; he puts some “regular” porn in the DVD and the stroking begins after the “usual” equipment compliments.  I’m not really watching what’s on the screen because I’m watching him trying not to look at what I’m doing and, yeah, I’m amused (but not laughing) at his running commentary about what’s on the screen as he slowly strokes his dick.

He’s restless and, to me, his body language is saying that this isn’t quite working for him because despite the action on the screen, I’ve noticed that he keeps getting soft and hard again and a little voice in my head asked, “You know what he’s getting ready to ask you, right?  Just wait a moment,,,”

Sure enough, he shifts his position so that he’s more or less facing me and asks, “Um, can I touch your cock?” – then adds, “If you wanna touch mine, that’ll be okay.”  So now we’re massaging each other’s dicks, not really rushing but literally getting a feel for each other.  I’m still watching him; he’s got his eyes locked on his hand around my dick and his eyes seem to be a bit… glazed and my little voice asks, “Care to guess what he’s gonna ask you now?”

As he tugs upward on me a fat drop pre-cum oozes out; he blinks, looks at me and asks, “What does that taste like?  Would it be okay if I tasted it?”  I tell him that it would be okay but he doesn’t have to if he really doesn’t want to.  He thinks about it for a moment then leans over and uses his tongue to lap up that drop and the touch makes me shudder.  He sits up and looks thoughtful as he processes what he’s tasting – then he nods as if saying to himself that it didn’t taste bad at all.

He then says, “Um, I think it’ll be okay if we, um, taste each other but, um, please don’t cum in my mouth, okay?”  I told him that if I was going to cum, I’ll warn him so he can stop; he says that he’ll warn me as well but I just shrug and tell him that warning me isn’t necessary and assured him that I wouldn’t be offended if he did cum while I was, uh, tasting him.

That was agreeable to him so we stretch out side by side and start tasting each other and I’m doing my best not to just devour him as he kisses my dick, licks it, and experiments with taking my knob into his mouth and, yeah, I’m trying really hard not to cum because his “fumbling” around is really pushing me to my limits.

He stops what he’s doing and taps me to get my attention:  “I’m going to cum!”  I stop and say that it’s okay if he does, take off the kid gloves and suck him down to the bone and he cums as if he’s been saving it up for a few years.  He’s cussing, moaning, and groaning as he spills into my mouth.  He’s done and I kinda prop myself up to look at him as he gets his act together; I ask him if he’s okay and he nods and mumbles something.

“What’s he gonna do now?” the little voice asks and, honestly, I really couldn’t say; he could move away or totally freak out and since I know there’s no way of guessing, I do an internal shrug and just wait for him to do or say something.  He blinks and shakes his head, shudders just a bit before looking at me with a slightly embarrassed smile on his face before clearing his throats and asking, “Should I finish tasting you?”

“If you want to but I’m probably gonna cum if you do,” I replied truthfully – I’m kinda proud of myself that I hadn’t lost it already.  He’s thinking and I can see the gears turning – then he says that he wants to taste just a bit more and I should let him know when I’m about to cum so he can stop tasting me and I let him know that I will let him know in enough time to stop.

He’s starts, uh, tasting me again but with more purpose than before and I’m just about there so I tap him on the head and say, “I’m gonna cum!” but he’s not stopping;  I gently grab his head to remove him but he slaps my hands away and I hold on long enough to issue a second warning that he studiously ignores… and I cum, my last “conscious” thought was, “Hey, I did warn him…”

We’re dressed now, sitting in his living room and he asks, “You knew I wasn’t going to just stop at us masturbating, didn’t you?”

I just nod and ask, “You knew that you weren’t going to be satisfied with just doing that, didn’t you?”

He laughs and nods; he says, “I really wanted to take those baby steps we talked about but, yeah, I guess I knew I wasn’t gonna leave it at that and I really didn’t want to.”

“I understand,” I said – because I really did understand.  “So… now what?  Has your curiosity been satisfied?”

He laughs again and says, “I’m not sure.  Would it be a bad thing if, ah, I wanted to taste you again, you know, to be sure?”

“I would say it wouldn’t be… but that’s really for you to decide,” I answer just as the little voice in my head says, “You know what he’s gonna say next, don’t you?”

I did and I wasn’t the least bit disappointed when he said, “You know, we should give it another try before you leave, you know, just so I can be really sure…”

 
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Posted by on 23 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  “Am I Weird?”

You’re walking along somewhere, minding your own business when you see someone who is male/female just like you are and you get hit with a rush of desire just by looking at them.  Two thoughts cross your mind: One is, “Whoa… what was that and where did it come from?” and the other is that you know that looking at a fellow male/female should not have invoked such an intense response within you.

Maybe you shrug it off or otherwise chalk it up to some other source or reason… but then it happens again, like you’re at work and a coworker passes you – maybe you know of them, maybe you don’t, but that rush of desire is familiar because you’ve felt it before.  That first time might have been coincidence…  but to feel it again?  Perhaps you try to shrug this off in some way but now there’s something going on that requires an explanation and you flag it in your mind, a nice easy test – next time you see someone, how are you gonna react?

If “Don” sees you (and you’re a guy, of course) and stops to ask a question or just to say hi and, whoa, there it is again, that rush of desire that’s threatening to make you pop a boner and now you’re wondering what the fuck is going on; you can’t possibly be getting turned on looking at other dudes!  But there’s no denying what you keep feeling when you look at certain guys even though there’s a part of your mind trying to feverishly deny it because you know that such things ain’t supposed to happen.

Are you as weird as you’d probably be feeling?  Nah, not really and here’s why:  While we are all taught about what should be sexually attractive to us; if you’re a guy, it’s a gal and, well, you know the other side of this.  What we find out is that while our minds might have something to say about this, our bodies are really programmed to be sexually attracted to whatever it thinks is  attractive in that way and this realization causes some issues because it directly clashes with what your brain “knows” to be true.

But if it happened, um, how true could it really be?  I’d be the first to tell you that when you start asking yourself why this has landed on you “out of nowhere” there are a lot of reasons and that some of those reasons might be buried in your subconscious where you can’t readily see or examine them.  There’s a war taking place in that space between your ears and the way your body is reacting ain’t helping matters any; you fervently believe that what you’re feeling can’t and shouldn’t be happening but, yeah, the truth that’s giving you a problem is that it did happen and maybe more than once.

Are you weird because you might see a guy and have a desire to have sex with him?  Are you some kind of freak because “all of a sudden” something like sucking a dick sounds and feels like something you really need to do? Does it make you gay?  Are you bisexual?  Are you crazy because these thoughts are practically dominating your thoughts?

Nah, not really.  It happens because there’s a physical part of our brains that doesn’t give a fuck what you’ve been told or even think about sex and attraction.  “But I’m very attracted to women!”  Of course you are and that didn’t change one bit, did it?  That feels as right as rain and, damn it, just like seeing that half-naked guy at the gym and getting turned on felt right.  It’s kinda simple:  The “lizard” part of our brain only cares about one thing – does someone “look” good enough to have sex with and our senses automatically provide input that either the lizard part of our brain says, “Yeah, I wanna do the nasty with him!” or, “Nah, I ain’t feeling this guy like that… but that dude over there?  Hmm…”

Everything we think we know says that this isn’t a natural reaction and I hate to break it to ya but, yeah, it is and having the thoughts and/or feelings doesn’t make you as weird as you may think; what, do you really believe that you’re the only person who has found themselves feeling/thinking like this?  Let’s get something straight here:  Just because you’ve “suddenly” got this on your mind doesn’t mean you have to run out and make The Lizard happy even though, yup, it would be crazy happy if you did just that and the sooner, the better.

But, hell, no, it doesn’t make you weird; there’s nothing “wrong” with you despite what your conscious thoughts might be telling you.  Doesn’t really mean you’re gay or even bi; if anything, um, you’re a “victim” of a set of stimuli that The Lizard finds sexually exciting.  If you can ward off the desires and stuff, good for you; if you find that you can’t, well, okay, doesn’t mean that you’re weak-minded or anything like that because sexual attraction is some powerful juju and, obviously, doesn’t really work the way you’ve been told it should.

Thinking and doing aren’t the same things; can’t really shut up that little voice in your head screaming at you to suck that dick or eat that pussy – or do both! – but you do have some control over the doing part and many people who have felt this haven’t done a damned thing about it and probably never will.

You’re just not as weird as you might think.

 
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Posted by on 21 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Use Me Like the Slut I Wanna Be!”

On my daily visit to the bi guy forum I saw some postings that kinda made me go, “Hmm…” as a lot of guys who have yet to do the deed with a guy are saying what the title of this scribbling says.  Quite a few of these guys have said that they want a guy with a really big dick (or a BBC individual) to just really and seriously give them the high hard one and the rougher that can happen, the happier they’d be.

I tend to find it both amusing and troubling that these men, being as inexperienced in the ways of M2M, have a desire to be subjected to another man’s lust in this fashion; amusing because this thinking is almost straight out of gay porn that can be seen today and troubling because, um, guys, if you’ve yet to be exposed to a man’s lust, you really don’t know what you’re asking for and getting yourself into.  Now, there are some guys who want to be made slutty in a more “romantic” and “loving” kind of way, something you rarely see in gay porn which seems to be more about one guy ravaging another and doing things that even as experienced as I am, makes me shudder.  What I wonder is why some of these inexperienced guys are professing a fondness/desire to really get beat down in that fashion; is it because they’re under the impression that this is the way men are supposed to have sex with other men… or is this something in the personalities of quite a few men who feel that their role in the M2M arena is best served by getting screwed in such a frightening manner?

One guy said he fantasizes about a Black man with a ten-inch (and very thick) dick just hammering him unmercifully and repeatedly and if this guy happened to bring a bunch of similarly endowed friends to the party, so much the better; a member who, by his comment says he’s experienced, indicated that, um, dude, be careful what you wish for and more so if you have no idea what it feels like having a mere five-inch cock in your butt.  Some guys confess to playing with dildos and anyone who owns one knows you can get them in some inhumanly large sizes… which isn’t the same thing as having an overly endowed guy banging away inside your asshole; it’s not even close because even if a guy were to employ such a huge toy, he’s gonna use it on himself in a way that, hopefully, isn’t going to cause any irreparable damage… while there are going to be hugely endowed guys who aren’t going to be so careful about reaming your ass out.

Another guy said that he got greatly turned on by watching a video of a BBC dude who, at first, was jamming all of his dick down the other guy’s throat and holding his head in place as the poor guy on the receiving end gagged.  Then the BBC dude bent the other guy into position, wrapped both of his hands around the guy’s throat, and choked him while just hammering his long, thick cock in there.  I’m reading this and visualizing the action as described and I thought that if some dude tried going that route with me, there’s gonna be a funeral and it ain’t gonna be mine; I’m reading the comments from a lot of guys who not only thought this was hot and damned sexy, it’s something they wanna experience for themselves.

And I asked myself, “Are these motherfuckers out of their ever-loving minds?”  I just do not pretend to understand why there seems to be a lot of guys who think this kind of aggressive sex is fun; I know that, obviously, there are men who are into it but y’all know me:  It’s not enough to know that guys like being fucked like this but why they like being fucked like this.  When I say that the psychology of male bisexuality is fascinating, it can be an understatement at times because even as long as I’ve been “studying” this, there are things that just defy explanation and even the guys who are experienced and deeply into this kind of sex are unable to accurately say why getting seriously beat down appeals to them so much.  Indeed, the kind of sexual beat downs that can be seen today makes things I’ve experience in my younger days look more than tame or, really, like those dudes weren’t even being aggressive in their pursuit to bust a nut at all.

If, as I suspect, gay porn is responsible for this mindset – in part or as a whole – this is just someone’s idea of what M2M sex should be about:  Men totally and completely dominating “lesser” men and using them in rather brutal fashion as they use sex as a weapon to, I guess, prove their dominance.  One guy complained that when he watches gay porn, he rarely sees the “tender side” of M2M where the guy being fucked is being treated kindly and with respect and appreciation and I know he’s not seeing many depictions of this because, um, such “wimpy” and less demonstrative sex ain’t selling DVDs or making guys drop their money on web sites where more “violent” displays of a man’s lust reign supreme.  In their minds, who wants to see two guys having sex in a loving, gentle fashion when the real money and potential excitement is showing an overly endowed man giving some poor hapless guy a sexual beat down to end all beat downs?

Yes, to each his own and whatever floats your boat… but I’ve not been able to figure out why a guy who has never even sucked another man’s dick would want to be fucked in such a manner…

 
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Posted by on 19 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Catching That Nut

Another day of going through my various apps on my devices and when I eventually get to Tumblr, yep, there’s a shitload of “people wanting to follow me” and all of them are ads for porn websites; as I’m blocking them, I’m wondering where people find the damned time to bother people with all this “hot teens for hot sex” bullshit and crap promising that if you click on the link, you can get laid in a matter of minutes by hot wives looking for extramarital excitement.

Yeah, right… sure.

That done and, once again, the first thing presented is one of two guys at some point in a blowjob; the guy being blown (and hiding his face, which cracks me the hell up every time) is palming the other guy’s head, quickly thrusting into the kneeling dude’s mouth and you can see the moment when Mr. You Can’t See My Face blows his load just as you can see Kneeling Dude’s reaction, his cheeks puffing out, his throat working to deal with the inflow of sperm and that really heady sight of that dick pulsing strongly while trapped inside that mouth.

I thought, “Hmm, that’s a nice clip…” and better than most I’ve seen lately as you see the guy doing the sucking letting the “spilt milk” just ooze out from between his lips, which are still fully encircling that dick before eventually letting go of it.  I then thought, “Man, how many times have I been on the receiving end of that?” then followed by a few stray thoughts about what’s the “best part” of giving a guy a blow job – doing the work to get him to cum or the moment when he does?  I don’t know about others who like/love giving head but both parts are fun and those of you who’ve been following me for a while knows that I’m of a mind that if I’m gonna subject myself to giving a blow job, I want the creamy reward at the end.

I let my thoughts go to the moment when you know he’s seconds away from cutting loose; he might be pawing at your head, unable to resist the urge to fuck into your mouth, cursing, calling for divine intervention. You might even be able to feel a series of tremors racing along his shaft and, depending on the guy, ya might also feel the moment when his cock swells – a little or a lot – followed by that initial spurt which is followed by whatever else he’s got to offer in that moment.  I know my thoughts in those scant seconds have run the gamut from, “Yes!” to “Damn… it’s about fucking time!” as the other guy’s whole body is involved in his release and now it’s about what you wanna do with the nut you just caught:  Swallow it, let it ooze out, or just gather it all in your mouth and spit it all out.

There’s something quite primal in those seconds that you can feel his cock pumping sperm into your mouth and as I’m watching the clip, I could see the change that came over the guy’s face, which had gone from being a bit frowned up in concentration to almost totally relaxed and I thought, “Yeah, dude, I know how you’re feeling right about now…”  In a time where such porn clips tend to feature more, ah, violent blow jobs, I actually thought this was one of the better ones that have come along because the guy getting blown wasn’t trying to ram his dick down the other guy’s throat, didn’t snatch it away to give the dude a facial, wasn’t slapping the guy all in the face and head while he was trying to suck that dick nor was he being choked while trying to give head; nope, he just gave into the moment and let his nut get sucked out of him.  Even though the guy doing the sucking did have that concentrating look, he wasn’t stressed at all as homey palmed his head and quickly – but gently – fucked into his mouth until he exploded.

Y’all know that I’m not really a fan of what porn likes to portray and that goes for giving head as well.  These days, it’s overly demonstrative and exaggerated and, I think, unnecessarily violent with all the face slapping, deliberate gagging, choking, and other shit that, at least in my opinion, isn’t my idea of a fun good time.  I tend to believe that there’s some “confusion” about what’s a blow job and fucking the hell out of someone’s mouth and I also understand that just because I’d probably hospitalize a guy who did that to my mouth, yeah, there are some dudes who live to have their mouth violated to this extent.  It’s the difference between “providing a service” and being used in a seemingly uncaring way.

But, I digress.  I just wanted to get this thought out of my head and write it down before I forgot it…

 
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Posted by on 14 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Time is the Enemy

When it comes to bisexuality in anyone, there are lots of things that can be perceived as being an enemy, like public opinion, for example, but quite often the enemy is time, as in finding the time to indulge yourself and having enough time to get it done.

It takes time to find someone suitable and to find a suitable locale; it takes time to become aroused, takes time to reach full erection, takes time to reach one’s ejaculation moment and yet, at least among men, there are those who know they don’t have enough time to get it all done but try to do it anyway – and then find themselves somewhat displeased at the results.

What spurred this thought?  I was cleaning the junk out of Tumblr and once that was done, the first item was a guy standing in what had to be the handicap stall in a men’s room; he pulls out his cock and is soon joined by another man who also whips his dick out and now the two of them are furiously yanking on their dicks in an obvious rush to bust that nut.

These guys are obviously in a hurry and their body language said as much to me because there’s a risk that someone will hit the head and notice that, hey, there are two pairs of feet in that stall!  It’s not that it’s unusual that guys will go to the men’s room to get off but because there’s a rush to do that, then expected result is almost bound to be delayed because you’re trying too hard to hurry up.

In casual hookups, there are times when there’s not a lot of time to do a thing; maybe someone has to get back to work or get back home before a wife or girlfriend realizes they’re gone or they have to hurry up and beat the place they told their woman they’d be and, yep, some guys want to rush to the end of the story because they’re worried that someone they know will see them entering or leaving an area they’re not known to frequent.

And I’ve often wondered why we do this to ourselves and more so since this lends itself to the stigma that we are indiscriminate and prone to acting without thinking.  It also lends itself to a certain level of dissatisfaction just because we might not want to (or be able to) devote a broader amount of time to, say, give a more thorough blow job.  Sure, ya might manage to bust a nut in record time… but was rushing really worth it?

I know we can be very opportunistic – it’s just the nature of being male and since it’s not always easy for bi guys to identify each other, if you get a chance to get some dick, you take it… even if you really don’t have the time to really enjoy the moment.  Back to the two guys in the handicap stall…

The guy seen in the opening of the clip is displaying frantic body language and he’s even gesturing to the other guy in a hurry up fashion. The second guy is trying to stretch the moment out, alternating between furiously jerking his dick and letting it go for long seconds before resuming.  Dude #1 busts first but Dude #2 is still pulling and stopping… and Dude #1’s body language indicates that he’s not happy about this as he shakes some sperm from his fingers and then points to Dude #2’s cock.

Dude #2 finally busts his nut and the clip ends but the body language of both men just before it ends displayed some dissatisfaction and I thought, “Was that really worth it?”  Sometimes, the pressure to perform isn’t about technique ormeven endurance but a matter of time, as in being in a rush and that sense of impatience that can make a sexual act less glorious than expected.

I get that there’s a certain kind of rush at play here and anyone who has ever had sex “publicly” knows just how naughty it is and the greater the risk of getting busted in the act, the greater the rush… but time is still the enemy not just because a sexualmact takes time to begin and end but there’s the mental pressure of knowing the clock is running really fast along with being very mindful of the surroundings and that can create a level of anxiety that might prove to be counterproductive to why you’re hurrying up to do this in the first place.

I also get that, sure, you do whatever when and even where you can do it but if you walk away from it feeling as if it could have been better if you had the time, well, there’s a lesson to be learned here.  I’m never gonna say that sneaking in a quickie is a bad thing – they can be fun and satisfying and most quickies aren’t really about a time crunch, are they?  Yeah, you can actually take your time having a quickie, can’t ya?  But when you know – or can reasonably assume that you really don’t have the time for a “proper” quickie, yeah, still a lesson to be learned here if you do it and wind up feeling less than satisfied afterward.

 
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Posted by on 13 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Get a Grip

I read this posting by mickcase – https://bithebiblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/do-gay-people-believe-in-bisexuality/ – and my first thought was that it just does not ever fail to baffle me to see today’s bisexuals being bothered by something I heard and experienced decades ago, that there are still some homosexual men out there who steadfastly refuse to believe that bisexual men exist and that we’re the ones who are in denial about our “true gayness…” when, duh, it seems to be pretty damned obvious that if anyone’s in denial about something, it’s not bisexual men.

I can’t even begin to recall the number of the times I’ve heard the “you’re really gay” speech from gay men; likewise, I can’t recall the number of times some gay dude trying to get in my case about being bisexual and hurling the usual epitaphs at me about being confused, etc..  Yes, way back in the day – like back in the 1970s – I’d get pretty bent out of shape over this shit until I eventually learned not to let it bother me; not only are people entitled to their opinion (for what that’s worth), if they couldn’t accept or believe I was bisexual, that’s not my problem and they weren’t gonna make it my problem.

Classic example:  Met a gay dude online and we talked about a lot of stuff including the fact that I was bisexual; he said he was cool with that and could we hook up at some point?  I said that we could… but I didn’t believe he was as cool about it as he said but, hey, you’re innocent until proven otherwise, right?  We hook up and it was off the chain and to the point where there were moments I had to resist the urge to start laughing over the way he was behaving as I sucked his dick – believe me, it was rather demonstrative.  I guess about a week later or maybe longer, we hooked up again and it was pretty much more of the same from him – lots of hollering and cursing, begging and pleading, etc., and when the dust settled, he looked at me and said that I was a great lover and that I should stop wasting my time having sex with women and become a fully gay man.

Not that I never heard this one before and I gave him my usual but honest answer:  “Why would I want to do that?”

He went right off the deep end – and I expected him to and he didn’t disappoint me as he went on and on about how despicable bisexual men were, that we were all traitors to the gay cause – oh, man, it was epic and I’ll admit that I didn’t make the situation any better when I started laughing, not as much over what he was saying but over how animated he was, stomping around all over the place, calling me all kinds of rotten motherfuckers and as he did so, I was thinking that he should be really glad he wasn’t talking to a younger version of myself – the version who would have kicked his ass over such things.

Here’s the facts that some homosexual men can’t or won’t accept:  Bisexual men are legion; there are so many of us that no one can think of an effective way to find out exactly how many men are bisexual.  It just really amazes me how and why there are gay men today who are of the same mindset as gay men I ran into back in the 1970s and their ongoing insistent that we – bi men – should just stop lying to ourselves and admit to one and all that we’re really gay.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why some gay men behave like this and a lot of it has to do with the odd phenomenon that what we believe is always right even though factual evidence says that they aren’t.  Some of it is pure human nature:  If you’re not like us, you are against us – the fear of the other.  Some of it, believe it or not, is rooted in the tenets of monogamy and the thing that if “George” wants to be with “Jeff” – who is a gay man – George has to give up that which make him the person he is in order to conform to Jeff’s view of things or, plainly, George has to give up being bisexual and become homosexual.  This isn’t to say that some men haven’t done just that but, um, really, most bisexual men aren’t gonna stop being bisexual just because his gay lover would be very happy if he did so.

It’s a crazy way to behave and since this is a behavior I’ve seen way too many times, it tells a very sad story about how after all the decades I’ve been exposed to this, we continue to let dogmatic thinking override logic and fact.  Yes, there have always been bisexual men; yes, legions of us are quite happy being bisexual; no, homosexuality isn’t the only way to go about things and, frankly, if you’re homosexual and still believe that bisexuals are really homosexuals in disguise, well, you’re just totally clueless and way beyond being merely naive about stuff.

And, as I pointed out to that gay dude I had hooked up with, um, you didn’t think my being bisexual was all that bad when I had you begging for mercy and asking God, Jesus, and your mother to save your horny ass, did you?  He even had the nerve to give me an ultimatum:  Give up women forever and be with him… or we could never have sex again.  I blinked, stifled a belly-busting laugh, and said, “Okay, I guess we won’t be doing this again, huh?”

I understand the mindset even though I continue to think that it’s such a fucked up way to behave and is a greater sense of abject denial than what bisexual men are being accused of.  If I tell you that I’m bisexual, what makes you want to believe that there’s no way I can really be bisexual and more so when I tell you that I’ve spent more time relating to women than I have men?  I mean, really… what part of “I like pussy and dick” didn’t you understand?  Okay, I get it – just because you’d prefer I’d be totally homosexual doesn’t negate the fact that I prefer not to be totally homosexual… but maybe you don’t seem to understand that if you choose to berate me for my choice, you’re not doing yourself any favors and you’re certainly not allow me to see you in anything that resembles a good light.  Oh,and by the way?  If you’re always looking for someone to be with – even just for sex – and it just ain’t happening for you as much as you’d like, it’s probably because the bisexual guys who might be interested in turning your ass out in bed don’t want to be bothered by someone who foolishly believes that bisexuals can’t and don’t exist.

Mickcase wrote that it upsets him that gay men have such a negative opinion of us and, yes, I strongly suggested that he not let this bother him because, sadly, there are still gay men who are damned negative about us and there’s nothing we can say or do that will ever change their minds.  I don’t have a problem with a guy being homosexual – it is what it is, right?  If he has a problem with the fact that I happen to love women and pussy, well, um, okay; this, too, is what it is but here’s the question I’ve yet to hear a gay man who this a problem for answer:  If I can accept that you are what you are, why can’t you accept that I am what I am?  Hmm?  And if you can’t, well, why not?  And if you cannot recognize that what you think, feel, or otherwise believe isn’t accurately reflecting the reality of things, er, um, which one of us has a problem?

I’m pretty sure it’s not me…

Thus endeth the mini-rant.

 
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Posted by on 11 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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