Tag Archives: Male Bisexuality

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Sin of It

Time to recognize the elephant in the room. Homosexual sex is a sin. Old Testament fire and brimstone stuff with the promise of a painful and gruesome death with a side of eternal damnation. And many believe this with all their heart and soul and, make no mistake, even bisexuals wind up having a major crisis of faith due to the even more major conflict that they’re feeling a way that, way, way, way back in the the day would get you stoned to death (or some other horrible way to die).

I don’t remember who said this to me but someone said, “You know that’s a sin and you’re gonna die and go to hell, right?” and I said something snarky like, “Yeah, I know it and I’ve probably gotten my reservation but the good thing? I’m not gonna be there by myself!”

Yep… that answer didn’t go over very well. Did I know this? Of course I did; knew it was a bad thing never to be done and once I started going to church and started reading the bible, I found out why it was such a bad thing. I didn’t give the person who brought this up a good impression of me with my snarky answer and by mentioning that by the time I found out why it was bad, it was too late; it was closing the barn door after the cows had long since been gone.

I learned that science and religion have never gotten along with each other and this is one of the many areas that they don’t agree on. Sex is a normal and very human thing to do whether for procreation or just for the fun of it and it didn’t take being a Mensa-level genius to figure out the… discrepancy between what science said and what religion was saying. One of them had to be wrong and more so when it was pretty clear that boys were doing it with other boys and, yep, girls were doing it with other girls. Then you toss in the whole “putting away childish things” thing and I was understanding that experimentation was greatly frowned upon but it was also expected and just as expected to go by the wayside once one reached a certain age.

Which, as a bit of an aside, is why a lot of people who’ve experienced sex like this when they were younger tend to act like what they did back then doesn’t count or mean anything in the here and now. That mindset still sometimes makes me roll my eyes because, being the child of science that I tend to be, I know – even if those folks don’t wanna accept it – that once you do a thing, you cannot ever undo it so acting like it never happened is, um, what’s a good word here?

Lemme get back to you on that one.

I remember the day I was talking to my pastor about this and after his very rousing sermon about sin and the wages of sin and with particular interest in the part of his sermon where he strongly suggested that anyone who were, ah, having sex with their own kind, repent and confess their sin so that God can forgive them. I will tell you the end of this discussion first: I got my ass in a world of trouble for questioning what my pastor and the bible said about this and I spent my two-week grounding given a lot of thought about being grounded for asking questions about something when, the reality that I understood was saying very different things.

My pastor, a man I respected very much, didn’t take offense to my questioning but as he talked to me, I did notice that he didn’t really answer my questions; all he really did was reword what the Old Testament said about it and, perhaps, thinking that I didn’t understand it as written – but I did understand it as written. I even had the temerity to point out to him – and like he didn’t know it – that the Old Testament was about Jewish folks more than anyone else so why were we – people who weren’t Jewish – obeying rules meant for Jewish people?

Yep… I’d dug a deep hole for myself and kept right on digging deeper because what I knew – and what I had been experiencing – seriously clashed with what we were being told on Sunday mornings and, of course, with what a lot of people firmly believed in. I’m sure I also outed myself to him but if I did, he didn’t take me to task for being a sinner (which is why I respected him so much) but after all that time talking to him and listening to his explanations, all that did was create more questions in my mind that needed answering. And the question I asked that really got my ass in very hot water?

“If the bible said what it says so that people will make babies, why is it a sin to have sex when no babies are gonna be made?” Yeah… talk about being too smart for my own good. I saw the flaw and got “punished” for questioning it and the source of it all. Thirteen year olds have no business even knowing about this, right, let alone being able to put two and two together to expose a very big flaw about this and more so when I knew that people were having sex and in sinful ways… a lot of people. More people than I could have imagined at that point in my life.

And I understood why homosexuals were getting their heads handed to them and for pretty much the same reason bisexuals, today, are getting their heads handed to them. Because having sex in either mode is a sin and it’s a sin because no babies will ever be made. There’s the elephant and its standing right there waving its trunk and, if it could, it’s laughing its ass off because so many of us believe in something that, in fact, isn’t so much a lie as it is a specific way to do things that has an expected and desired outcome… and anything that doesn’t lend itself to those things are a sin.

Can you say fornication? Sure you can. Who among us hasn’t fornicated? But, yep, there are those of us who fornicate with others who are, at the very least, physically like ourselves and, uh-huh, fornicate in the expected and opposite sex way, too. And, yeah, were I to call for a show of hands on this one, mine would be among the first raised. Did I just confess to being a sinner?

Yeah, I did. Am I worried about it? Worried about the wages of sin? Honestly? Kinda but not so much because everyone dies, saint and sinner alike and if there’s really a heaven or hell, well, one day, I’m gonna find out for sure. Could I repent? Give up my sinful thoughts and ways? I could… but that means going back to conforming to something that I believe is erroneous and too much like a stacked deck, if you catch my drift. I know why the rules say what they say. I don’t disagree with them so much as I am very aware of the inherent flaw in it.

The elephant in the room just nods at me and kinda winks as if to say, “Yeah, you see it… and you get it, don’t you?” I do… and I do. While the bible is pretty damned confusing and open to great interpretation people, on the other hand, aren’t so confusing in this respect. We like sex. We like being intimate with each other and in every way we can be… and including throwing the rule book out of the window… and because we can. Religion knew this and rules were put in place to prevent it and to keep us focused on making babies and doing other things the way those early religious leaders wanted us to do them – and all in the name of God and disobedience wasn’t going to be tolerated and punishment, well, yeah – it had a certain finality to it.

When I really became aware of this, I did consider that I could be 100% wrong about what I was finding out and, believe me, I’ve had so many arguments with others about this and some that got pretty ugly but all that proved to serve was that, crap – what I had learned about why these particular sins are sins was right but what everyone tended to believe? They believed what they were being told and, as such, not believing things when, duh, it was very damned clear that boys did it to boy and girls were having a fun good time with each other.

Not really in defiance of the rules and laws… but because it could be done like this and it was being done like this… a lot and so much that it had to stop… except, it didn’t. Does this mean I don’t believe in God or a supreme being? No because I do… I just don’t believe everything that religion, as an institution, says about this.

The elephant in the room, if it really could, starts laughing. Again, the science says that we are social animals and among the few species that has sex just for the hell of it and, yeah, one of the species that has developed homosexual tendencies as well and it just stands to reason that “figuring out” that there was a middle ground in this, to me, wasn’t all that surprising given how our species developed to have this higher brain function and all its added abilities that allows us to be, for the most part, the dominant species on the whole fucking planet.

I ain’t saying that the bible is lying… it’s just not tell anyone the whole story and, depending on what you believe, is guilty of lies of omission more than anything else. And, yeah… still the guy who knows how much “trouble” I can get into just by pointing this out and the good thing is that I’m not the only one who, by some means or the other, figured this out. It is… easier to obey the rules than it is to break them since breaking rules do have consequences… but isn’t there a reason why it’s said that rules are made to be broken?

All you need is a good reason to break them and the human mind is more than capable of coming up with reasons to break these particular rules and even if those reasons only makes sense to the person breaking them. We can get all into the emotions of it all; we can get into that biological imperative hard-coded into us to have sex but the real reason and the one that few people ever really give?

It’s because we can. And the rules be damned. I see so much stuff written about why people are like this and I’ve yet to read something that states we can be like this because we can be like this, you know, if we want and/or need to. Such stuff likes to point to a lot of stuff – and a lot of it socially-based or even as a result of our long-standing social contract and alleges a lot of defiance to what the social contract – re our morality – says. The real answer and the one religion will never speak to is rather simple:

We’re human. It’s the way we once were before the rules. It’s they way we can be despite the rules, admonishments and promises of eternal damnation and being made to pony up the wages of sin. It’s equally simple: You either believe this… or you don’t. A lot of bisexuals, in particular, have been known to say, “If God didn’t mean for me to be this way, I wouldn’t be this way.”

I had asked my pastor, “If God gave us free will, why do we get punished for expressing our free will in some things?”

He blinked. I’m sure he could have come up with a plausible explanation but I think I shocked him a bit to be asking questions I shouldn’t have known to ask. I got a lot older and thought back to that moment and realized that he didn’t answer my question… because he couldn’t and he couldn’t answer it without exposing the hypocrisy that’s included in any of this… and the inherent flaw and fallacy.

I didn’t get the ass-kicking I had expected to get for doing the unthinkable but I got a tongue-lashing that I will always remember for having the gall to question “the Word of God.” That’s not what I was doing; I was asking why it was the way it was because it didn’t jive with what I was learning and, specifically, about sex. I wasn’t – and don’t – question the Word of God… but I do question the word of the men who wrote it so very long ago and, yeah, in some very different flavors. I don’t ever deny that the rules, as written, do serve a purpose – they do and for a great many people.

Just not everyone. Never did. Never will. I have, at times, thrown the science at some seriously religious people and they either reject the science of our biology or say, “Yeah, but…” and the “but” is usually, “It’s a sin!” Bluntly? It’s only a sin because it’s said to be one… and we believe it until we have reason to either question it… or not believe it.

There are currently 7.7 billion people on the planet (and counting) and there are an untold number of people who aren’t playing by the rules and sinning their happy asses off, not only fornicating but having homosexual sex and going both ways in this. There’s this thing that says one person could be wrong but a whole lot of people doing the same thing? Is it possible that the untold number of people who aren’t straight – even in their thoughts alone – are, in fact, wrong?

They are if you believe what religion says… and religion ain’t ever gonna tell the whole story and most certainly will never speak about what it really means to be human when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. Religion’s way is only one way – it’s just not the only way and the funny part? We know this; we’ve always known this.

We just don’t all believe it even with all the evidence over all this time that, at least to me, proves, without any doubt, that what we believe isn’t the whole truth of things. Easier to say folks are disobedient, sinning, rule breakers than it is to admit that we’re just like this and always have been and the thing that we’ve not yet learned is that the more you try to stop people in this, the more the attempt to stop them will fail.

It’s failed before with homosexuals. It will fail with bisexuals. The elephant in the room is doing the Cha-cha Slide and dancing a jig and I’m watching it dance its ass off… but I’ve always been able to see it and to behave as if it’s not really there (metaphorically speaking, of course) doesn’t make sense.

Who knew elephants could be so graceful? As in any of this, I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind in these things; I’m just telling you something that I learned and I learned it because I had a reason to and it came in the form of a question:

“How can something that’s so bad feel so good?” I know why; went through some shit to find out why and got cussed out, laughed at, dissed, etc., along the way. I know I could be wrong… I just don’t think I am and, again, I’m not the only one who figured this out since everyone who isn’t straight also had to figure it out and in whatever way they could.

I’m just the guy who will point to the elephant in the room that’s still dancing. There’s a lot of talk about acceptance in sexuality and what’s the best way to accomplish this very necessary goal and while we can talk about it, hold referendums and all that, I’m of a mind that the institution of religion is in great need of an update… or perhaps should be “abolished” in some way because it’s not telling us the whole truth and it never did… because we aren’t supposed to know the whole truth.

Yeah… that’s not gonna happen any time soon and even if it did, as long as there is one person who believes in this and believes that not being straight is a sin, acceptance will continue to be a goal that will be hard to reach “universally.”


Posted by on 24 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Other Side of the Coin

I saw Collaredmichael’s name a few moments ago and it reminded me that he had asked why I didn’t write about sex with women so I decided to write more about that aspect and beginning with:

It’s sex with women. Great. Magnificent. Sometimes a bit of a cluster fuck and sometimes like two ships not only passing in the night but two ships not being in the same body of water. Exhilarating. Frustrating. Nothing unusual going on here.

Ah, but I realized a very long time ago that my… penchant for having sex with men changed the way I’d have sex with women because, even if only in my own opinion, there is nothing that will teach you about having sex with women and what they don’t like than having sex with a man. Nothing.

You suck enough dick and you get to learn and understand why some women flat out hate doing it and don’t even ask them to finish it. You get fucked by guys enough and you find out two things – how good it can feel… and how fucked up it can be. So since I know that sex with some guys bears out the fact that they’re assholes, when having sex with women, my “goal” is to not be an asshole. Whether I’m actually successful or not isn’t at issue but, again, when you learn what some women universally don’t like, it pays to do your best to not do that which they don’t like.

Yeah… doing what they do like – and being consistent in the doing – is always a challenge and I think that guys who’ve never had sex with a guy can’t – or don’t – understand why some women behave the way they do, oh, like when you’re having a field day and thinking that everything you’re doing to her is rocking her world when, in fact, she’s just lying there and waiting for you to get done so she can go do what she really wanted to do or why they fake orgasms or, really, behave in any way other than having a grand time getting laid.

But, sure – sex with women is all that and then some: Why wouldn’t it be? Sure, there’s a lot of pressure to deliver and being aware of her expectations, likes and dislikes and, oh, yeah, the fact that any of that can change faster than you can blink makes having sex with women pretty daunting and then there’s always that thing about many of them when and where, for whatever reason, they just decide that they’ve had enough and no one will ever have sex with her again unless, of course, she changes her mind… but don’t hold your breath on that one.

See, there are some who seem to think that if a guy is bisexual, his total sexual focus is on sex with men and for some guys, that’s legit… I’m not one of those guys, though. I’ve gone through my life to date having people throw the “do you prefer women or men” loaded question to which, when I deigned to answer it, I’d reply, “Yes!” Or I’d have to qualify my answer by saying that, sure, I’d take the pussy… but I wouldn’t turn down the dick. Which would I prefer to have first? Whomever I get my hands on first or if she’s the closest, well, my dear, allow me to make my acquaintance!

I’ve even had some folks suggest that because I’m bisexual, I’m not a real and true lover of women and sex with them and my response is to laugh my ass off and, often, hysterically so. Some even think that I’m bisexual because of some inability to have sex with women or have suffered a great many failures in this endeavor. Um… not. Like any other guy, I either succeed or I fail – you get used to it even though failure does suck and in a very not-so-good way. And when some gay guy would suggest or insist that I just give up having sex with women, um, well, let’s just say that there have been times that my response to such a ridiculous thing hasn’t been very nice or polite.

Pussy is good even if their owners are “clinically” and deliciously insane. I make no bones about the fact that I’d rather eat pussy than to suck dick even though eating pussy is actually harder… but do I love to practice! I know some bi guys start to feel some kind of way about sex with women but, again, I’m not – and have never been – one of those guys. I have, in fact, only turned down pussy twice in my entire life, once because I knew girlfriend’s coochie was very sick and another time when my gut instinct said that having sex with her would be a very major mistake.

Otherwise, if a woman wants to have sex, I’m all for it… why wouldn’t I be? Is it about being up to the challenge? Yes… and no because if I’ve learned nothing, I’ve learned that all you can do is the best you can do and that sometimes, your best ain’t gonna be good enough. Some guys, when having sex with other guys, don’t bother to ask about… anything and even with my experiences with women, being with guys drove the point home to me that if you wanna have a good chance of pleasing her – and not making her regret her decision to let you do her, it’d be nice to find out where all of her buttons are. Not that she’s gonna tell you but if you don’t ask, you won’t know but, sure, sometimes it’s fun trying to figure out where her buttons are and she’s doing her best to hide them… and not so much fun when you can’t find them because she’s doing an excellent job of hiding them.

Like I said to Collaredmichael when he asked about this, I don’t say much about it because, to me, it’s just business as usual as far as I’m concerned. I’ve had sex with a lot of women across the country and even a bit world-wide. It’s not totally about successes and failures… it’s about doing something that I really do love and that’s being naked with a woman and doing my best to please her while enjoying the sheer intimacy of it all.

Because I’m thinking that if I didn’t enjoy it, maybe I’m really gay… and I know that I’m not and, no offense, wouldn’t want to be. I can’t and won’t give up women and pussy because I love it too much because, duh, you’re supposed to love it. I’ve wowed women… and I’ve failed to do so – c’est la vie. Learned a long time ago to not promise shit I might not be able to deliver so the only thing I’ll say to this is I will do the best I can if you’ll let me and if you’re game to give it a shot, I’m game… unless there’s a clear reason why I shouldn’t be… but that’s with anyone.

If I’ve learned anything about sex, it’s not to have a lot of expectations and that includes not even expecting to have sex in the first place. Again, sex with men has taught me a wealth of things about having sex with women and that if you can’t make love to a woman’s emotions, you’re pretty hosed where, with a lot of guys, you just have to address their lust and whatever crazy shit they may have going on in their head. It’s not easy to make love, fuck, and/or have sex with women. We know it and women know it, too.

But it sure the fuck is fun to try and chances are that if there comes a time when I wouldn’t want to have sex with a woman, you can be sure that I’m no longer among the living. You know that saying guys tend to say about a woman always having a place to sit? Yep – you want that pussy eaten? Lemme at it. I can do it several times a day, every damned day and I might not even want to stick it in you (but I will if ya want me to).

Even that “simple” thing is sheer joy to do. Back in the early days, women would loudly exclaim, “You gotta lick it before you can stick it!” and I was like, “Okay… hang on to your hat…” It’s the intimacy in being with a woman that really can’t be all that well experienced with men and, no, don’t even ask me to explain that because I can’t and I’ve never been able to. But it’s an intimacy that I love and, to be blunt, there ain’t a dick anywhere on the planet that can replace a woman in my sexual life.

Because pussy is damned good and women are a joy to have sex with even if/when I fail and I know I will so I don’t let it bother me. I don’t try to do more than I’m capable of doing and, here in my older age, eh, I’m not trying to impress anyone.

I just want that very special intimacy that only a woman can bring to the table whether she’s handing me my head or, yeah, doing her very best “dead body” imitation. The only thing I “expect” is for a woman to allow herself to be pleased and, yeah, that’s the hard part because I learned – thanks to having sex with men – that there’s a whole lot of reasons why a woman won’t really allow this. The thing, I think, that makes sex with women so… special to me is that I do, in fact, know what they know about having sex with men.

I read in a few places that not all women have a hatred for bisexual men and that many really do like the fact that the guy is bisexual and I think it just might be due to the fact that, yeah, we know about men and dicks just like women do, what’s good about it and what is so totally fucked up about it that and I think bi guys are a lot more open-minded about sex (I know I am). I don’t write a whole lot about my sexcapades with women but, yeah, maybe I should in order to provide a more… complete picture about male bisexuals. And it’s not that other bi guys aren’t fans of the coochie because they most certainly are; it’s just that sex with men is… so out of the box and so much so that there are many people who can’t wrap their heads around why bi guys love dick so much or even why they’d want to go there in the first place.

Some of that is because of sex with women – and it’s painful for me to say this but it is true and even I’m aware of this… discrepancy – how could I not be? But to give up women and pussy? Not gonna happen. Ever. No matter how many times I fail.

Way too much fun and way too intimate. Chock full of pitfalls and other roadblocks. It is what it’s always been. And, yes, I do think that anyone who doesn’t like pussy needs to have their head checked – but that’s me.


Posted by on 22 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Secret Society

As I’ve mentioned, I grew up with some pretty horny dudes and it seemed to me that we all got “awakened” to sex at almost the same time including masturbation. But those of us who were “unknowingly” bisexual, it was quite the secret society since you had to be “one of us” to know that we weren’t straight and that we were having sex like it was nobody’s business.

It wasn’t about being outed as being gay that kept this a secret – it was the very real fear of some neighborhood adult catching any of us in the act… and I grew up in a time where the adult neighbors could whup your ass for something, take you home, rat you out, and you’d get your ass whupped again by your parents.

So if you didn’t need to know – or we didn’t want you to know – you might suspect that we were up to something… but we’d never confirm nor deny the allegations.

Or so we thought. Today I can look back at our “secret society” and how we thought that we were the only ones who knew what we were doing and there was no way anyone else could find out; what we didn’t know about was that a lot of other guys were feeling the same things we were and looking for other boys to do it with. Nothing else explained how one of us could be hanging out with a guy who wasn’t a known member of the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers and that guy would pop the question:

“Have you ever done it with another boy?” Sometimes panic would set in – who was the rat who ratted about what we were doing? Yeah, sometimes, our… activities got spread by word of mouth but outside of that, it never occurred to us that we weren’t the only guys in the ‘hood looking to check this out.

We were some horny fuckers… didn’t say we were all Wile E. Coyote brilliant and that the obvious couldn’t just sail right over our heads; we just didn’t think like that and I thought that our tendency to always be in the moment allowed the obvious to fly right past us.

Guys were “inviting” themselves into the secret society either by asking The Question or, even at our ages, trying to be slick and/or trying to appear to be ‘innocent’ of any of this… and sometimes being subtle about it wasn’t a consideration, oh, like, hanging out with a guy who wasn’t a known member and he just pulls his dick out and starts playing with it… and hoping this in-your-face hint would jumpstart you to do what he wanted to do while hoping that you wanted to do it, too.

They call it experimentation and I guess it remains to be an accurate description although, in later years, I’d see it more like exploration and, perhaps, the “experiment” was to see if one could do it or not; if they found that they could, then the exploration began and, um, in our “branch” of the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers, the exploration was off the chain… and our numbers were growing and it didn’t take one very long to realize that things weren’t just contained and confined to our particular neighborhood:

There were branches all over the city… and even more that many of us didn’t know about like going away to summer camp and finding yourself rooming with another society member from another city or state. From all walks of life; things like race and color didn’t mean a whole lot and despite the early racial tensions of those early days, there were a lot of guys who were society members and, in this, totally colorblind.

With the one and only caveat and “rule:” Don’t. Get. Caught. Now, many societies had a second rule that, for the most part, was upheld: I won’t tell if you won’t. But, yeah, some would tell anyway, not for the purpose of starting some shit or getting someone into trouble but because all of this was so damned exciting that you just couldn’t keep it to yourself…

Which usually had the effect of adding more members to the society. While there were many young horny fuckers who weren’t of a mind to join the society, well, yeah – a lot at least wanted to give it a try and those experimenters would either walk away from it or join the society.

A whole lot of boys. Of difference ages and other demographic stuff. Masturbators. Cock suckers. No real qualms about anal either way. Some members reveled in doing it all while others had their favorite things to do. Things like guilt and shame were usually quickly conquered because the amazingly intense urge to do it would pretty much override guilt and shame and the logic, at least for us, was easy: Does it make sense to feel guilty/be ashamed of something you wanted to do?

It didn’t. I don’t know how many times another society member and I would be doing something and one of us would say, “You know we shouldn’t be doing this, right?”

And the other would respond, “Yeah, I know…” and things kept right on going. Were we ignorant of the risks? No… well, perhaps ignorant of all the possible risks but, again, the only one any of us were concerned with was not getting caught having sex with another boy. The need for secrecy was important because all it took was for the wrong guy to find out that you were a “fag” and the word would spread faster than wildfire and you’d be subjected to just how fucking evil and brutal some kids could be.

Nobody wanted to deal with this aspect of growing up and especially for this reason so the society remained… under cover? Not all that widely “advertised?” If you didn’t need or want to know, you just weren’t gonna know who was a member of the society and who wasn’t. Today we say that what you suspect is one thing but what you can prove is something else… but within young peer groups? You didn’t have to be suspected of anything to get “outed” as being a fairy or some other derogatory term.

Once you get a reputation for something – and even if you did nothing to earn it – “fixing” it was pretty much impossible. Despite that – and in my local chapter – the society flourished and we learned some shit about sex that, of course, we weren’t supposed to know about but, as I began to suspect, it was known that we were gonna find out about it. We weren’t supposed to experiment with sex, let alone in the boy/boy way of things but it wasn’t unexpected. Wasn’t allowed but you only got in trouble if you got caught and sometimes if too many people were running their mouth and word got back to those who would seriously take you to task for disobeying the order not to do that… or, in rare cases, being dumb or careless enough to get caught or letting it be known you were a member of the secret society.

Society members would come and go (seriously, no pun intended) while the more die-hard of us stayed the course and, often, more so because trying to talk your way into a girl’s panties wasn’t even close to being easy – and some girls preferred to do it to each other before letting some boy with his nasty, scary, and horrible cock do it to them. The way girls were made to be traumatized before they even gave a single thought to having sex was, well, I still shake my head over some of the things I’ve heard that women were told.

So because of this, the secret society remained. Faces changed. Some guys “resigned” from the society and regretfully so in order to do what men are supposed to do – meet a girl, fall in love with her, marry her, have babies – all that stuff.

I’d say that at the height of the great prejudice aimed at homosexuals, it became a great necessity for the secret society to be even more secret. It wasn’t just the few gay guys among us that had to worry – all of us who were going both ways had to worry; the older we all got, the more… vicious people one could come across and they were to be avoided at all costs since a lot of them would be of a mind to do you bodily harm.

Yeah… pretty sure I don’t – or didn’t – know anyone who liked to be bullied and made to fight or even get their ass kicked to even being suspected of being a society member. And I’d like you to keep in mind that this was, for me, between 1964 and perhaps through 1974… or thereabouts. The social angst was still very much on homosexuals, which allowed bisexuals to keep flying under the radar and, as I’ve said time and time again, not without good reason.

What makes me scratch my head a lot these days is that call for all bisexuals to come out and be known… when we still live in a society that isn’t exactly kind to those who aren’t straight – and homosexuals “won” a long and hard fought battle to be recognized like everyone else is… and suffered many casualties of war in the process. It makes me scratch my head to see those “you all gotta come out” people insisting on it even when it’s explained to them how inherently bad it can be and the potential to suffer losses that, well, are intolerable like family and friends. That faction insists that because we ain’t feeling that as an entire demographic group, well, we’re not real. We don’t really exist. We’re invisible.

But the secret society has always been invisible and not really as a matter of course but out of necessity since, again, those of my generation know all too well what happened to anyone who was outed as being gay. Not bi. Gay. Because people are, sorry to say this, stupid. Ignorant. Totally and completely clueless and narrow-minded beyond belief.

Let me get this straight: There’s a faction out there who want you to stand up and literally paint a target on yourself so that those who ain’t fans of anyone who isn’t straight can take pot-shots at you? So that the opinions others have of you can go from good to so bad it ain’t even funny? So you can be subjected to a great deal of sexual prejudice?

No wonder the secret society is secret; unless you want or need to know, you’re not gonna know because just like anything else connected with sex, what the society does ain’t none of your fucking business… unless you wanna join but that, unfortunately, can be difficult since many of the society’s membership don’t exactly go around letting everyone know they’re a member of the society.

We don’t look “the type” because we look just like everyone else and, as I’ve said, you could be standing next to a member of the society and not even know it unless they want you to know it. People see this as a problem when it’s pretty much business as usual for the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers and, yes, indeed, some of the members are female.

What… you thought it was a boys-only thing? Silly you!

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Posted by on 19 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Hmm…

Just saw a forum post get revived with new comments and the topic is, to paraphrase, do guys, when they get older, turn bisexual?

Apparently, some do although it seems to be a bit… mysterious as to why some guys do. A lot of such men have said that they’ve gone on about their lives and being straight men; married, in a relationship with a woman, even single but then, at some point – and for some unknown reason – they start getting a craving for dick, start watching “gay” porn, and even having dreams about having sex with a guy.

Then you have the guys who are married and find themselves being sexless; girlfriend just ain’t feeling the sex thing and if he still wants and needs to have sex with her, well, too bad… and ya better not cheat on me, either! In this, some guys just accept their fate; some guys go find a woman who will have sex with them, long or short term (or they pay for the service) and some guys, well, some guys do a 180 and the thing they want is dick.

They want to feel one in their hands, have it in their mouth, even have it in their ass and in a lot of situations that I know of, these guys never gave a single thought to having sex with a man and, as such, it’s pretty confusing to them and some find it hard to assimilate these new and very different feelings.

What no one seems to know is why and why it also feels “right” to go in that direction and/or it just sounds like a good idea and despite the confusion that can take place… and because it sounds like a good idea when, again, it never did before.

Some guys get into their mid-thirties and get hit with this and, again, “out of nowhere” and even when their sex life with women is decent and all that. I’ve learned over the years that, sure, we’re all born with the potential not to be straight but our social conditioning gets applied and, well, we’re straight… sometimes. I know that some of us feel the pull early on, some feel it later in life – and sometimes much later – while other guys never feel it at all… or they do and they just don’t pay any attention to it.

Seeing the revived topic reminded me of a man who, at the time, was in his late 60s. His wife had died years before and even he said that not too long after her death, he just knew he had to have sex with other men. He told me that he did question this but the day after he realized this is what he had to do, he had sex with a guy for the first time and never looked back and, as he said, didn’t think about it being right or wrong.

He had told me that he had to get his prostate removed – cancer – and he suffered from ED; he rarely got an erection, wasn’t producing sperm, but that didn’t stop him or, as he told me, “My mouth still works and my ass is very available to any guy who wants to fuck me!”

He also said that all he did all day and on most days was to suck cock and get fucked… and he absolutely loved it. He had also mentioned that before his wife had passed away, he had never given this kind of sex any thought whatsoever.

“It just felt like the right thing to do,” he had said.

Talking to him really brought this aspect of male bisexuality to the forefront of my mind because it seemed to me that after being able to talk to him, I was really noticing that a lot of older men were very much into sex with men and many of them never had an experience or even got close to one before the first time they actually did.

Is it our hard-wired imperative to have sex until we, well, until we really can’t? Some kind of “easter egg” that sits inside of us and waits for some unknown event or time in our life to go from being dormant to being active and with no warning whatsoever? Is that sneaky bastard, also known as our subconscious, just sitting back in the cut and directing our actions and telling us, “You now need some dick – go get it and hurry the fuck up!”? Is there a real logical thought process that happens and makes a guy say, “Well, why not?”

I even know a few guys who have said that one day it occurred to them that they’d had sex with women and pretty much in every way they could so having sex with a guy was “just the next thing to do.”

Hearing this is what made me change my earlier thought that guys just didn’t wake up one morning and decided that today would be a good day to suck a dick… because, apparently, that’s exactly what some guys seem to experience. I had wondered about the guys who, earlier in life, had some experiences but had walked away from it but now, being older and all that, they just find themselves returning to some kind of sex with a guy. It often surprises a guy but, as I’ve been told, also and almost always feels like the right thing to do.

And I’ll be damned if I really understand it. I even considered that because I got started early and never stopped, I don’t have a point of reference to compare this… phenomenon to but, sure, I’ve talked to an untold number of men over all of these decades and a lot of them have said that they went from being straight to being bi. Sometimes easily so. Sometimes because of some event in their lives. Sometimes for no apparent or obvious reason that can be pointed to or singled out.

Again, maybe it’s something a lot more men do, in fact, feel being switched on and it’s only by the strength of their will that they are able to ignore it… or it never gets switched on at all.

I don’t know and I may never know. I just know that it does happen and a lot more than was previously known about and to the point that I really don’t find it to be all that unusual but, yeah, for the guy who has this land on them and practically out of nowhere, it’s easy to see why this would bother them and some aren’t able to make any sense of it.

And no: I have no idea if women ever experience something like this and if they do, they don’t talk about it or, perhaps, it’s no big deal to them one way or the other. But I do know about men in this. I’ve had guys tell me that they have no fucking idea why they wanna play with a dick – they just know that they have to and the sooner, the better. Some guys have this great urge to suck and be sucked and some, wow, their urge is telling them to lie down and be fucked and anything else isn’t a priority or not even needed.

No idea whatsoever what’s behind this or the way it seems to manifest itself in the different ways it seems to do. Is it biology, you know, boys really being boys or something else? I’ve known guys to dive into the pool because of stress and emotional trauma, like losing a job, getting divorced or dumped by a girlfriend. Their dog died. The engine in their car or the transmission blew up. I’ve learned that there are all kinds of triggers that flips the switch on for some men… but I still don’t understand why the switch gets flipped to bisexual and for the many men who, until this moment, were happily straight.

And, yes – I even know a couple of gay men who got a major craving for pussy… and they had no idea why they did. I don’t know either. I know they said that they knew “for a fact” that pussy was off-limits to them and even nasty in their opinion… which made the craving to get some even more bothersome and, yeah, once they did, well, that wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.

I just do not know how or why older men go from a lifetime of being straight to becoming bisexual or even gay, in some cases. I just know it happens. I know what many of these guys say about it but given all that I’ve heard and all that, it’s hard to piece together everything in a way that might show there is a pattern to this, some reason why that switch gets thrown other than it can be thrown at any time and for any reason and for no damned good reason at all.

Now, whether a guy actually does what the cravings are telling him to do is something else; some do and because they can’t get it done fast enough and some guys are still so spooked about it that they remain on the bench. Some are still very damned faithful to their partners and will not ever give into the urge until/unless the partnership ends – and maybe not even then.

And the craving just does not go away. It seems the more a guy tries to suppress it, the more powerful it gets. Some guys “give in to the inevitablity of it” and some guys continue their efforts to suppress it and many find it difficult… and some do find that it’s easy to suppress it but they know it’s still there and waiting, filling their thoughts and dreams of visions of hard cocks and nice butts.

And it all feels normal…. and maybe, just maybe, because it is. I’ve been of a mind that this is a genetic memory kind of thing. Way, way back in the very early days of humanity, two men had sex with each other and it was happening “so much” that the behavior got imprinted into our genetic code although scientists hunting for a “gay gene” are saying that they can’t seem to find one… or anything that would explain this. And it could be that the genetic memory of this is just hidden somewhere, maybe in the “junk DNA” that geneticists can’t figure out why we all have it or what it does… or what it used to do… and maybe what it might make us do.

Or, maybe, when those first two guys got with each other, they were just “obeying” what their genetic code was telling them to do in the first place. And aeons later, the coding is still there, dormant in some, active in others and just biding its time to turn itself on because it’s time to turn it on or some external event triggers it to go active and flip the switch to the “on” position.

Fuck if I know. I just know it happens and that it happens so often that don’t find it strange or unusual at all.

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Posted by on 10 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Nothing Strange Going on Here

A forum member seems to think it’s strange or unusual that a lot of married bi guys prefer to be married to women even though they also enjoy throwing it down with guys and, for some, more than they might enjoy sex with their wife.

I’m not sure why he thinks there’s something strange about this because, as far as I know, it’s business as usual and has been for a very long time. The member asks if there’s a specific reason for this and there is one, namely, guys are supposed to marry women – duh. Doesn’t matter why a guy wants to marry a gal – it’s just the way things have always been until, after a landmark decision, if a man wants to marry another man – and for whatever reason he wants to – that can happen now. Some folks still ain’t feeling that but it is what it is.

A lot of guys get married and get all into the husband/father thing but then discover that they’re bisexual. Shit, some are bisexual and have been before they got married – nothing strange about either thing. Some guys have been married to a woman so long that they don’t discover their own bisexuality until girlfriend makes it clear that he ain’t even gonna be able to look at the pussy, let alone do anything to it and if he doesn’t like it, he can pay for a divorce.

Nothing strange about this, either.

The discussion got into that straight privilege bullshit and, at least to me, hinted at that stupid notion that if you’re not in a same-sex relationship with someone, you’re not really bisexual. Do bisexuals enjoy a straight privilege? Fuck no… because we are straight… and not so much. You’ve seen me write this time and time again: We’re both straight and gay but neither one exclusively. And we’re not gay until we’re actually doing something gay; otherwise, we’re straight. Duh. How hard is that to understand?

And relationships don’t mean a damned thing other than that’s the person you’re with and for whatever reason you’re with them. Married guys are either notorious or infamous for discovering the joy of sex with other men and having a field day with that aspect of sex – so what? Nothing new about that, either.

Perhaps the member asked about this given what we think and have always believed what marriage is supposed to be? And many do think it’s about as wrong as it gets to have sex with anyone outside of the marriage – nothing strange going on here – but there are a lot of people who thinks that the relationship defines the sexuality of the people involved… and it doesn’t. If you saw and/or knew of two men – or even two women – in a relationship, the instant assumption is that both are gay… and both may not be. But if either of these couples were to step to the side for some opposite sex action, well, is there anything really unusual about that?

Nope. If a guy is enjoying the dick more than he does pussy, does that mean he needs to change partners? Some seem to think so, huh? You may recall that a while ago now, I was under the impression that a lot of the things I’ve been seeing a trend towards normalization in bisexuality; no casual sex, relationship sex only even if things are going on in the “shady” realm of the DL. If you’re gonna do it both ways, be committed to doing it both ways or one way or the other and, I dunno, maybe being inconsistent in this is being seen as unusual.

A guy loves the dick more than the pussy… but he’s still married to a woman (with or without sex) and, hmm, homey is invoking a straight privilege in order to keep his secret desire for dick off the radar. Well, I don’t think he is invoking some kind of privilege since, again, I’ve always known that bisexuals do go both ways; otherwise, they wouldn’t be bisexual, would they? Flying under the radar? Lots of bisexuals do it and for good reason since none of us are really of a mind to have to listen to a bunch of bullshit coming from other people who, in reality, don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about and, besides: It ain’t none of your goddamned business who I’m having sex with.

Nothing strange going on here, either. Nor is it strange that some married guys feel more… comfortable stepping outside of their marriage and having sex with another guy rather than to do the same thing with another woman. Shit, some don’t consider that as cheating, as strange as it sounds. Technically, it is but the “logic” says that if a guy isn’t cheating on his spouse with another woman, well, he’s not cheating on her. Yeah, kinda cockeyed but still nothing strange going on here.

So a married guy discovers dick and now he’s having a field day with it – so what? I get that there are some people who might be able to really understand this and you’d think that other bi guys would if no one else does. I’ve written time and time again just how much fun it is to have sex with a guy, from cock sucking to fucking. It’s “different.” Forbidden. Deliciously “nasty” anyway you care to look at it. It’s liberating not only to be unbound by social and sexual norms but many a bi guy learns some interesting stuff about themselves as well and things they’d never discover without having sex with another guy.

Not just thinking about it – actually doing it. But, sure – one can find out who they really are in this just by thinking about it all (because bisexuality is also an intellectual thing) and, nothing strange here because a lot of married bi guys aren’t willing to cheat on their partner to have the sex. The fact is that some do cheat and some do ask – and even get – permission to get some dick. Nothing strange going on in this either.

Well, if they’re having so much fun playing with a dick, that means they don’t like sex with the women they’re married to, right? Nope. Not so strange that when a married guy can’t get some pussy, his alternative is to get with someone else to get the sex he needs… even if it’s another guy. And, yes: A guy could be getting the pussy every day and he still craves dick and might be of a mind to get some of that, too.

What does it mean? Nothing, really, other than homey has a huge appetite for sex and, for him, there’s no such animal as too much sex. It still remains true – and at least in my mind – that even married guys who are bisexual have to figure out how they can be bisexual and in the worst situation any bisexual can find themselves in. Some guys manage to do it and some just don’t. Those who do revel in it because, duh, what’s the point in doing it if you’re not gonna have fun doing it? And those who can’t, well, they ain’t having any fun and having less fun if the old lady ain’t of a mind to have sex.

Still nothing strange going on here. Invoking straight privilege? Nope. An act to cover up the fact that they like dick, too? Nope. Something weird going on? Oh, hell, no – it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. Many bi guys are like this: If I’m gonna get married, I’m marrying a woman and if you wanna know why a bi guy would marry a woman, ask him… but don’t assume that his marrying a woman has shit to do with his love for dick because it usually doesn’t. Bi guys like women – duh. We like to have sex with them and, yep, we like marrying them and if we can still get our dick fix while being married to a woman, okay, that works even when it’s not supposed to.

Sometimes the members ask if anyone would marry another guy and because of the way they feel about men. Some say they would. Many say that they wouldn’t and they have their reasons for it. Would I marry a guy? I’d never say never but it’s unlikely that I would because, by definition, he’d be my only source for sex… and I love women and pussy… because I am, after all, very bisexual.

Nothing strange going on here… because there’s nothing strange going on. We can get all into the morality of things – nothing strange about that, either – but the fact remains that there are bi guys who are married to women and they do enjoy all the men they can get with and having anything “against” the woman they’re married to might not even be the case… but sometimes it is… still nothing strange going on.

Since the “non-straight” focus is now on bisexuals more than homosexuals, there’s a lot of shit we’re gonna have to go through before everyone else realizes what we already know: There is nothing strange about us being able to go both ways and whether it’s emotionally, physically, or both. It is the nature of what bisexuality is. The sex is what it is and you’re either gonna like it, love it, or you’re not going to. You can choose to be bound by our morality and one’s marriage vows… or you can choose not to be bound by them and for bisexuals, both conditions have consequences that can be good and bad.

We are – and continue to be – so hidebound about what being in a relationship means and especially what being married means. For better or worse. Let no man put asunder. Keeping only unto yourself. All that. Great idea… but many people find that it’s not that great as it is believed to be and many people – regardless to sexuality – can and will find reason to reshape the rules to fit their needs and by any means necessary and, sometimes, at any cost. Nothing strange going on here, either.

Why only be in a relationship with a woman? Um, because it’s nice? It’s comfortable? They love each other enough to want to be married? It’s what men are supposed to do? It confirms to them that they’re not really as gay as they might think they are? Maybe to keep up appearances? Could be all of the above… and none of the above but if you really wanna know, ask a bi guy why he’s married to a woman – then accept his answer as fact and don’t think that his love for dick really has anything to do with him being married to a woman.

Kinda don’t understand why anyone would think there’s something out of the ordinary going on with guys preferring to be married to a woman but they love sex with men in whatever way they do. That some men are “for sex only” isn’t anything new; women are made for relationships and sex with guys, well, it’s just sex. True enough, a lot of bi guys are looking for at least a FWB relationship with another guy… to go alongside their relationship with a woman. Why? Because being in a relationship is what we know and it’s the only allowable situation to be in where having sex is concerned and to be out there having casual sex with any swinging dick that comes along?

Ew. Ain’t feeling that. Too dangerous and risky and, importantly to many, not the way sex is supposed to happen since, you know, any sex outside of a relationship is still a cardinal sin called fornication and thou shalt not commit adultery. Doesn’t change the fact that we fornicate like it’s nobody’s business (and because it isn’t anybody’s business) and that we do commit adultery and sexuality doesn’t mean a damned thing when it comes to this.

And if you know these things, you’d also know that in any of this, there’s nothing strange going on and it what’s going on is something that has always been going on and way before being bisexual became something to bitch about. And let’s not forget that there are an untold number of married bi guys who will never, ever, go play with a dick and no matter how badly they want to.

Nothing to see here; move along, move along…

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Posted by on 7 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: High School

For some, high school was either the best of times or the worst of times. It wasn’t until I had graduated that I was able to realize that my three years in high school were probably three of the best years I’ve ever spent doing something.

The city was still reeling from racial tensions brought about by the assassination of Dr. King and the year before, the high school I had chosen to attend exploded into one hell of a race riot and pretty much everyone I knew was telling me to change high schools because Black kids didn’t fare well in predominately white schools… but I was determined to go there anyway because, after visiting all of the area high schools, this one was my best chance for a good education and, besides, I was quite the martial artist and more than capable of taking care of myself… and I could run really fast, too.

Was I worried about my soon-to-be new classmates finding out that I was bisexual? Nah, well, kinda; junior high school reinforced what people said about kids being some pretty vicious people and I had figured that if I had survived my time in junior high school, being in high school was gonna be fairly easy. I knew I was gonna get picked on and bullies would try to target me but I was one of those quiet people you hear of and are warned not to mess with so, bring on the bullies… because I got something for them.

Over three hundred teens in the school and now I have the task of integrating myself in this society and I didn’t even get halfway through my sophomore year before I found myself being “harrassed” for two reason. The first was how smart I was and earning the nickname of, “The Professor.” The other was the fact that I ate pussy.

At this point, I have to say that when in high school, I only got into two fights as compared to the ten or more I had to deal with in junior high school and in those two fights, they happened because I wouldn’t let a couple of wanna be bullies copy my work… and they learned that I wasn’t the skinny, meek, nerdy, smart kid they thought I was.

One of my friends, who was very gay, “followed” me from junior high school to high school and he was harassed at every turn and because he was, yeah, if I hadn’t been worried about anyone find out I was bi before, I had good reason to worry. It’s not that no one found out because, well, some did… but the vicious teenaged assholes in school were, I guessed, too busy harassing anyone they thought was gay and, I guessed, they were “content” to bust my ass about being a great fan of eating pussy which was easy for me to deal with because when they’d give me da business about it, my ability to come back quickly and with devastating effect just by talking served me well.

“Yeah, yeah, but lemme tell you this; y’all don’t eat pussy and I do… but because you don’t, just think about all the pussy I’m getting… and all the pussy you ain’t getting!” I’d tell them this – and almost every damned day – and they’d bluster and all that but they eventually learned to stop fucking with me about loving to do something that they didn’t have the guts to do. I got another nickname hung on me – Taster’s Choice – after the coffee that had come out around that time (thanks, Nestle’s) but at the end of any school day, even those who had discovered my “secret” never gave me any shit about being able to have sex with guys.

My friend, however, continued to be harassed and he was handling it well until some jocks cornered him, hurling both racial and sexual slurs at him and like a pack of hyenas, were closing in for the “kill.” They were gonna teach “that nigger faggot” a lesson about being a real man and the biggest of them was selected to deliver the lesson.

It remains one of the most brutal and vicious ass-kickings I’ve ever seen in my life. See, what those assholes didn’t know – but I did – was that my very gay friend had to learn how to fight but we all had to learn. I was studying judo and karate, he found that boxing was his thing and he was very good at it and had room full of medals and trophies he had earned.

The big, stupid jock threw the first punch – and it was his last punch. My friend easily made punch miss… then handed out a beating that made those around me start whispering, “He’s gonna kill him! Somebody stop this!” And while I could have stopped it, I stood there and did nothing except keep an eye on the other jocks; if they jumped in to save their friend, I was gonna jump in to save mine. But they didn’t move; they were shocked to see their tough guy partner being jabbed and hooked all over his body.

The end of the beating came after the asshole, unable to even try to defend himself, just kinda leaned against the wall as my friend used his body as a literal punching bag. There was blood everywhere and the guy had pissed himself a couple of times that I could see. The asshole finally slumped to the floor unconscious and my friend, well, he could have kept beating this fool – and many watching this were egging him on to do just that – but he stopped and I will never forget the look on his face – just iceberg cold.

He looked around the huge crowd that had gathered and said, “Anybody else wanna fuck with me because I’m gay? Who’s next?”

School officials and our live-in Youth Aid police officers – who had been assigned to the school because of the riot that had taken place before – arrived and did their thing to restore order, clear the hallway and, yep, cuffed my friend and hustled him off somewhere. The school nurse took one look at the asshole on the floor and screamed for someone to call an ambulance after barely managing to be able to feel for a pulse and I guess he still had one.

I learned from my friend, later that evening, that he had been suspended for a month and that, after the cops investigated things, he wasn’t going to be expelled and banned from attending any school in the city. He was… upset that things had turned out the way they did but his resolve was absolute and I didn’t think he was really all that remorseful about beating that kid the way he did.

“They need to learn how to leave us the fuck alone,” he said to me. “I don’t get it; they know you go both ways but they don’t fuck with you and I don’t understand why.”

“I don’t flaunt it,” I said – and I hadn’t like saying that to him but it was true nonetheless. “I know you and I know how you are; you don’t have a problem letting everyone know that you’re gay and “one of the girls” and I admire you for that… but you had to know that something like this was gonna happen eventually – look at how many times you had to punch someone in the face for messing with you because you’re gay and when we were in junior high!”

“I know,” he said. “But I’m not gonna hide what I am. Do you know what happened to him after I got cuffed?”

“They took him to the hospital and word around school was he was in very bad shape but he was gonna live,” I said, repeating what I had heard.

“Serves him right,” my friend said. “You know what his mistake was, don’t you?”

“Yeah – they all thought that because you act like a girl, you didn’t know how to fight; they just forgot that you’re a still a guy,” I said. “That and they didn’t know you like I know you.”

“They don’t fuck with you,” he said again.

“They know not to,” I said. “They’ve seen me fight, remember?”

After that day, if there was any shit being said about anyone who wasn’t straight, well, I never heard it and for the rest of my time there. Even the guys who’d rib me about eating pussy stopped ribbing me about it and those who knew I liked dick, well, I had to assume that watching and/or knowing about that horrific beating had them thinking that it wasn’t worth maybe getting a similar beating and from someone who knew how to break bones and, as one dude said, “You use words like they’re a knife, man, and you can seriously cut a motherfucker!”

People I knew who went to the city’s other high schools apparently found out about what happened at my school and they’d tell me that if the bullies were running around targeting gay kids – or anyone they thought was gay – that shit stopped in a hurry and even those who, like me, went both ways found it much easier to go to school without being fucked with because of their sexual preferences.

And high school life just went on. Sometimes a snide remark here or there but nothing more than that and when my friend finished his suspension and returned to school, well, boy – did they go out of their way to leave him alone! A lot of the gay kids in school rallied around him and felt more confident about letting their gayness be known.

Yeah… I was still getting my ass busted about eating pussy and a few of them who knew I liked dick, well, I guess they just didn’t have much to say about that but, then again, I also knew that some of my pussy-eating haters liked dick, too. Probably better to not give me any shit about it because they knew that I knew their secret (and how I knew it) so, yeah – you eat pussy! That’s so nasty!

Uh-huh, and that’s still why I’m getting more pussy than any of you put together. Hey, Teddy – you wanna know why Theresa dumped you? It’s because you wouldn’t eat her pussy… but I did… and that shit was good, too.

My biggest “problems” in high school was my intelligence and my love for eating pussy and I think that it took my very gay friend from handing out the worst ass-kicking I’ve ever seen to get the whole school to just keep their mouth shut and leave people alone about being gay or suspected as gay.


Posted by on 5 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Gay?

Growing up, er, um, yeah – a lot of us guys wanted to do the sex thing we were told to avoid at all costs and specifically with each other. We, for the most part, ignored both things. We were told about sissies, faggots, and queers and the word “gay” meant “happy and carefree” as far as we knew but we’d later learn that “gay” meant “homosexual.”

Well, okay, if you say so. What I know is that while we were aware of the negative words (and a lot more than the ones I wrote already), eh, most of us didn’t care about that while others didn’t want to be targeted as being a sissy, faggot, or queer which was a reality and a concern since, kids being kids, all it took was for someone to say you were a faggot and you were in for a lot of grief… and even if the accusation wasn’t true.

Funny and somewhat random thoughts about this. Every so often a guy would be keen to do it but they’d say, “Don’t stick it in too far!” I didn’t know about the other guys but I assumed that this request would be made because everyone knew that when you stick your dick in somebody’s butt, it was gonna hurt… but I was finding out that this wasn’t the only reason and as illustrated by a time when a friend and I were gonna do it, he said not to stick it in too far (and as he always said) but added, “I don’t wanna be a faggot!”

It was confusing since we all knew that if a boy did it to another boy, that meant you were a faggot and whether you stuck it all the way in or not. The funny part was that among the guys who didn’t want it stuck in too far, they still wanted to be screwed even though, again, we were learning about things homosexual – sissy, faggot, and/or queer… but were we really those things? The question would come up because except for one guy we knew of for sure, the rest of us would do it to a girl quick, fast, and in a hurry and even then we could see that some guys, if they couldn’t get a girl to do it to, they knew there were plenty of guys they could do something with.

Bisexual? Didn’t even know the word existed but we heard about switch-hitters, playing for both sides, batting from both side of the plate and a few more I can’t remember off the top of my head. A lot of us knew we fit the description and a lot of us didn’t care because just being able to do the nasty to and with anyone just worked.

Even for those guys who didn’t want it stuck in too far. Now, by the time I’d say that “all of us” were shooting the dreaded baby-making stuff, some guys would be eager to suck on your dick… as long as you didn’t shoot the stuff into their mouth. I didn’t think it was so much because it made you a sissy et al… it, um, yeah – it’s an acquired taste but one a lot of us thought was better than, say, eating liver or brussel sprouts.

So along the way a guy would want to blow you as long as you didn’t shoot in his mouth but we seemed to pick up on something, that being if you didn’t shoot it in a guy’s mouth, you could shoot it in his butt… as long as you didn’t stick it in too far. Some guys were content to just have you stick it between their butt cheeks and do it to them that way – it’s call frotting these day – and sometimes a guy would lie on his back and let you hump him like that until stuff got shot. While some guys preferred to be able to stick it in, eh, it was still doing the nasty and there just wasn’t anything more fun and exciting than to be doing the nasty.

Decades later I’d wind up learning more stuff about guys who were like me, willing and able to do it with a guy or a gal… but some guys were really funny about it. Oh, they’d want to do it but would stop short of cumming and the reason seemed to be that if you did it with a guy but no cum was involved, it wasn’t gay.

Wait, what? That “don’t stick it in too far” thing from the early days made a lot more sense that this did since, by now, myself and a whole lot of guys knew that if a dude had sex with a dude, it was gay sex. It didn’t mean that you were gay but that was the assumption… and it still is because, as everyone knows, only gay men have sex with other men. Except…

I wasn’t gay. I knew I wasn’t. Had proved it more times that I would care to admit to. I even knew that I didn’t “like” guys in the way that a lot of gay guys I knew did. We could be friends and friends enough to want to have sex with each other… wasn’t gonna be your boyfriend, though, and there was no way in hell I was gonna give up having sex with girls just to only have sex with guys.

I was becoming much more aware of something I say a lot these days: Perception versus truth… and no one really wants to be bothered with the truth so much. If you’re a dude and you have sex with a dude, you’re gay; if you’re a chick and have sex with a chick, you’re a lesbian. Hell, if you even looked at another guy, say, in a locker or shower room, you were mostly certainly gay. Someone could accuse you of being gay and you could tell them about every time you had sex with a woman… and they wouldn’t believe you even if you told them to go ask the woman; they’d just assume that she’s lying to help you cover up the fact that you were really gay.

I was quickly learning how stupid some people could be and that they’d rather wallow in their ignorance than to deal with the truth that I was bisexual and a lot of men and women were as well. Not one or the other: Both. But it was worse in that once you were tagged as being gay, well, you obviously were spending a lot of time being fucked in the ass by other guys but, um, no one really said that if you were fucking another guy, you were gay.

No – you were only gay if you were the one being fucked and sucking cock just made you even gayer. But if you were the one being sucked, well, no one would say that you were gay and to me, that didn’t make any sense and it still doesn’t since, even today, there are a lot of people who believe this to be true… including “straight” guys who’d let another guy blow and finish them off and will tell you in no uncertain terms that they’re not gay and they’re not bi.

I’d run into guys occasionally who’d say, “We should go somewhere and suck each other’s cock… but I’m not gay, okay?” Well, wait a minute: If guys having oral sex with each other is considered to be gay/homosexual – and it most certainly is – why would you even say what you did and in the way you did? I was reading between the lines a lot to gain an understanding that some guys didn’t really think or believe it was gay to blow each other silly… but it was definitely gay if any fucking was mentioned and, specifically, being the one with a dick in your ass.

Even funnier were the guys who’d declare that they weren’t gay but, sure, go ahead and stick it in me and fuck me… just don’t stick it in too far and/or don’t cum in me. Why? Again, it’s because if you don’t cum, it’s not gay and even more so, it didn’t mean anything – it would be like it never happened. I really did have a guy tell me, one night, that he very much wanted to blow me but don’t “bust a nut in my head” and before I could say, “Okay…” he said I couldn’t do that because to him, that was very gay and he wasn’t gay.

But sucking my dick isn’t? That didn’t, by the way, stop him from busting a nut in my head but, then again, I never had a problem with it. Knew it was gay and all that but I was learning that the bottom line – and no matter what kind of sex you wanted to call it – it was just and merely sex.

I read in a book that once one gets a reputation, it’s almost impossible to get rid of it even if you didn’t really do anything to get that reputation… and “being gay” got a reputation a very long time ago and almost every attempt to diss the reputation of being gay – when you knew good and damned well you weren’t – wasn’t impossible but it was pretty damned difficult.

Or like I told a guy one day, “You want proof that I’m not gay? Go get your woman and bring her back here… and watch what I’m gonna do to her. The funny part? He said that it didn’t prove that I wasn’t gay and that I’d screw his old lady just to prove him wrong. Just more proof that once someone makes up their mind about something, good luck trying to convince them that they’re believing something that isn’t true.

By the way, I’m pretty sure he really believed that I wasn’t gay since he wasn’t of a mind to be provided with the proof he was originally insisting on which, honestly, was shame because his lady was pretty hot. It was becoming more apparently that people just didn’t want to know the truth, that not everyone who had sex in the same-sex mode wasn’t gay.

So, okay. If two dudes get together and have sex, it’s considered to be gay sex… and assumed that both guys are gay… and they may not be. Hell, one guy, again, could be up to his eyeballs in this and continue to insist that he’s straight.

I was learning that humans really are clinically insane. You know how we always insist that actions speak louder than words? Not in this. Don’t pay one bit of attention to what we’re doing – believe the words that are coming out of my mouth and those words are I’m not gay or bi. I’m straight, aight? You ready to go again or what?

I do understand why people get their panties in a bunch about labels and the great resistance to them because a whole lot of people really and truly believe that what they do is one thing… but what they think of themselves is a whole different thing and their actions do not really define anything. Okay… could a guy who thinks of himself as straight give me a blow job? Sure he could… but does it make sense for him to keep thinking that he’s straight? He’d tell you that it does… and I’m gonna look at him and think, “Okay, what planet did you come from where that is true?”

People are ranting and raving against bisexuality and insisting that all bisexuals are really gay when, duh, seriously? I’ve said time and time again that these people just overlook the fact that we’re straight, too, and those who know this accuse us of having some kind of privilege and even I have a hard time trying to figure out how my being straight – as well as gay when I’m doing something gay – is a privilege.

Ah, but I know why. It’s because we just cannot get out of our collective heads that if you do something gay, that means you’re gay and nothing you’re gonna say or do is going to change anyone’s mind about it. I also know that there was a time, oh, beginning somewhere in the late 1980s, where a lot of gay men turned to being straight acting; they’d date women and even get married and all for the purpose of not letting their real gayness be known which made sense given how homosexuals were getting their heads handed to them big time… and I’m being nice about that.

Bisexuals, however, aren’t straight-acting. We are straight… except when we aren’t. I know I could be seen giving my best friend a hug and someone will see us… and assume that one or both of us are gay and even if we’re doing the “A-frame” hug and, by the way, there’s a reason for that – the clasped hands between our bodies is a “barrier” against that which might be perceived as being gay. To find out more about this, you’d have to do some research about body language and the significance of certain things we do that we don’t usually think about, like crossing our arms and even crossing our legs when sitting.

Interesting shit. Still, if “Ted” had some kind of sex with “Al,” is it gay? By all definitions it is… doesn’t mean that either one of them are gay – we just believe this to be true. If “Grace” is seen in a serious lip lock with “Candance,” well, they’s lesbians… but they may not be. They may not even think of themselves in such terms but an observer will automatically assume they’re gay through and through.

We even take this shit further and say that if our hypothetical people (above) are in a relationship, that proves that they’re gay and not one thought or consideration will be given to the fact that, um, neither of them are gay. It just looks that way… and aren’t we quick to believe what we see and not of a mind to be bothered to find out what we’re looking at really means?

People hear “bisexual” and think “homosexual” and don’t give a fuck that they’re only partially right; um, did you miss the part where I’m straight, too? Once homosexuality got the bad rep, it was a wrap. Straight is good. Gay is very bad. No such animal as a bisexual or someone who really does go both ways because it’s so implausible that anyone would want to go both ways and, as such, they must be gay. The have to be.

Because that’s the thing that makes themselves comfortable. We’ve long since gotten comfortable with “you’re either straight or gay” and we believe it so much that, sure, bisexuals just fuck up everything one believes in this – seriously, who does that? Isn’t it easier and better to pick a side and stay on it?

It is gay? Only when we’re doing something homosexual; otherwise, it isn’t. It’s not gay if it’s something you don’t do “all of the time,” right? Wrong. It’s still homosexual by definition. If you only do it when you can’t have “regular sex,” well, that doesn’t make it gay when you do it like that. Um, yes, it does and by definition, that would make you some kind of a bisexual… unless you say that you aren’t and we should believe what you say more than what you’re doing – and regardless to why you’re doing it in the first place.

“Don’t stick it in too far because I don’t wanna be a faggot!” Well, um, what would make you faggot, how far the dick gets stuck in… or the fact that you wanted to have it done to you in the first place? And if you do, does it really mean that you’re a sissy, faggot, queer or, gasp, gay?

No, it doesn’t. You are whatever you say you are and if you say you’re none of the above, well, you’re none of the above… but it’s still perception versus truth and the truth may be that you’re not gay… but you’re not as straight as you want to believe you are and chances are good you’re gonna believe that because you’re expected, required, and demanded to be straight.

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Posted by on 4 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Do It to Me…”

As a bunch of hormone and sex-crazed boys, we pretty much found the answer to a question that none of us knew to ask: “What does it feel like to be screwed?” Some of us would be screwing a girl and she’d [hopefully] be enjoying it and she might say, “Do it to me…” and some guys, when we’d get together to gossip, would wonder why a girl would say that.

Well, um, there’s a way to find out… and even without the question being a “main concern,” any excuse we could come up with to do it to each other just worked. Giving each other blow jobs – with or without spunk – was a “default” thing to do; it was pretty automatic and, in later years when I’d think about that, it was clear to me that not only was it fun and it felt good, it was the easiest thing for a couple of guys to do and as I’ve said, we could do that pretty much anywhere and at any time.

But to have someone do it to you, well, that was very different and in a lot of us, having someone on top of us and humping us – with or without actual penetration – tended to evoke some pretty “strange” emotions and emotions that were shockingly familiar to those of us who were doing it to girls and, namely, it felt weirdly good.

I’ve heard a lot of guys ask the question and a lot have been “brave” enough to ask a girl what it felt like, only to have a girl not being able to explain it other than to say, “It feels good!” It’s an answer… but it doesn’t really answer the question and, again, later in life, I’d find that the reason why answering that question would get reduced to, “It feels good” was because there aren’t many words in the human vocabulary that can explain all the thoughts and feelings in play when one is being screwed.

Of course, it was “inconceivable” that boys would do it to each other which was a major contradiction in and of itself since, um, we were doing it to each other like there was no tomorrow. Sure… nasty and all that and we knew it which just added to making it feel good to do it. Admittedly – and without a whole lot of embarrassment – I’d have plenty of moments when someone was doing to me and it was comfortable and feeling good in ways my limited vocabulary couldn’t handle and I’d hear myself saying, “Do it to me…” which usually had the effect of the guy doing it to me to step up his efforts to make it feel even better.

The “weird” thing, of course, is that boys aren’t only supposed to fuck each other, they’re not supposed to know some shit about this that girls would know. Many of us found out what girls liked about having it done to them as well as what they didn’t like about it. We’d find out how it could make us feel when we didn’t really want to do it but, okay, let’s do it and one would find themselves going from not being happy about doing something they didn’t want to do in the first place… to finding themselves buried in all those wonderful feelings and then egging the guy on to keep doing it, don’t stop, just do it to me.

I don’t see what the big deal is about it…

A lot of guys have been heard to say this and justifiably so since in order to know what the big deal is, they’d have to experience it. Again, you could ask a guy who’d had it done to him and his explanation would wind up getting boiled down to, “It just feels good…” and leaving the inquirer with an answer that kinda doesn’t answer anything. I’d usually wind up telling a guy, “If you really wanna know, there’s only one way to find out…” and, well, they weren’t gonna do that and most of the time they weren’t because if they didn’t know anything else, they knew what everyone was saying about being screwed in the butt:

It hurts. And it does… at first. In later years, I’d equate it to getting a tattoo in that, at first, it hurts – and can hurt like a motherfucker depending on where you’re getting inked – but after a while, the pain of it goes away and is, at the worst, irritating and depending on one’s tolerance for pain. And, sure enough, for some folks, getting inked doesn’t hurt at all; hell, getting a splinter hurts more than getting inked does.

I often get a kick when guys on the forum are trying to describe to others how it feels to be fucked and mostly because I know how hard it is to put it into words – and without resorting to saying that it feels good since it kinda stands to reason that if it didn’t feel good, ya wouldn’t be doing that. Early on for me, I found it possible to lie there with a guy doing it to me and pay some attention to what I was feeling other than his dick in my ass and, holy shit, trying to make sense of all of the thoughts and feelings would just shut my brain down or, at the least, everything I was thinking and feeling would turn into a jumbled mess and not too dissimilar to trying to undo a huge ball of string that has a lot of knots in it.

There is just a lot of stuff going on when someone is doing it to you. Guys try to section out what part of it feels the best and while a lot of guys say that it’s indescribable to have in inside you and working your butt over, a lot of guys agree that the best part of it is when the other guy cums in you… and I don’t necessarily disagree with that. Being the overly curious person I was, oh, yeah, I was very much aware of this… but I didn’t know why and more so when ya knew that when the guy shot his stuff into you, it was gonna be game over for a few and signaled the end to the fun for the moment.

It goes from being… uncomfortable at first, to being very comfortable, and then to being uncomfortable again and in cycles but you learn to just relax through these moments and either ignore the discomfort or embrace it and use it to heighten your pleasure. A lot of guys, including myself, would say that things would get to a point where if there was one clear thought in your head, it was the point where you wanted him to cum; you not only wanted him to, you needed him to cum. And if he didn’t, couldn’t, took “too long” to do it or, son of a bitch – pulled out and shot it all over you, it could make you feel some kind of way that wasn’t all that good.

I know I’d feel… incomplete. The job was left unfinished. You mean to tell me you put me through all of that and didn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do? In today’s vernacular, “You had one job…”

It was – and probably still is – assumed that guys don’t have orgasms and, indeed, we’ve been of a mind that, for us, ejaculation and orgasm are the same things… and I can tell you that they aren’t. I’ve been in discussions with other guys about this and they’ve sworn that they’re the same thing and I’ve asked them, “Have you ever felt like you just came but found out that you didn’t?”

And if they said that they did I’d tell them, “That was an orgasm.” They’d disagree because “everyone” knows what an orgasm is supposed to feel like and boys just didn’t have them. There were a lot of times a guy would be doing it to me and it would get intense and then I’d think, “Did he just make me shoot?” – only to find out that I hadn’t… but it sure felt like it… and I’d have that feeling more than once, some pretty intense, some like a warm, fuzzy kind of feeling.

We didn’t know shit about prostate stimulation – we just knew that it could not only feel good but feel really good and even better when the other guy shot his jizz into you. Now, how you felt after the fact, well, that could be something else from being exuberant to thinking, shit, maybe I shouldn’t have done that and in that case, you almost wind up asking yourself if it felt good at all and you realize it did; still, many guys wouldn’t be able to look at it like this so if they felt shitty (no pun intended) after the fact, well, it didn’t feel good at all.

What do you like about it… and what don’t you like?

Well, if ya ask me, I liked everything about it… and didn’t like everything about it which sounds strange until you consider the other “common denominator” in this equation: The other guy. Some guys are good at it, some guys just aren’t. Some could make it feel incredibly good to have them doing it to you… and some guys could make you leave yourself a “note” to punch them in the face as soon as he let you up.

My protege, when we talked about this, said that he couldn’t get his head around the supposed pleasure many guys talk about when getting boned and I said to him that you have to find the pleasure in it; it’s not “just gonna happen” because you think it should and finding the pleasure in it begins with not paying a whole lot of attention of where the other guy’s cock is going. He had asked how I got past that part and I’d said that it occurred to me that other than a guy’s mouth, um, there was only one other place a guy could do it to another guy… and if you wanted him to do it to you, well…

What about that girly, bitchy feeling? That, too, is what it is and I can tell you that it doesn’t feel good since the social programming insists that it shouldn’t feel good because you’re not a girl. You learn, as I had to, that you either ignore it or embrace it, let it carry you away and for no other reason than it’s not supposed to and if you can, sure – you can find out almost exactly how women feel when you do it to them…

And it feels good. I’ve said that in these things, your body doesn’t care how it’s being pleasured… but your mind does and if you don’t find it enjoyable, it’s usually because you can’t convince your mind to “forget” all that “this ain’t supposed to happen” shit so that you can just let your body tell you how good it can feel.

Strangely good. Weirdly good. Maybe even “unnaturally” good. More so if you’re not really paying “that much attention” to the guy who has his dick in your ass but just thinking about having a dick in your ass which isn’t easy to do, either. It’s exciting and scarily so; you know what’s going to happen once you’re in position and you damned well know you shouldn’t be in that position in the first place. You feel his slick hardness press against that forbidden and nasty place and you don’t want it to go in… but you want it to go in. It’s gonna not feel good then it’s gonna stop not feeling good and now it’s about being immersed in your thoughts and feelings – both good and bad – as you wait patiently (or not) to notice the change in him when he’s about to cum, feel his dick swelling inside you, then feel it pumping away and sending your thoughts and feelings all over place, like the one time a guy was unloading in my butt and I had the very clear and weird thought, “He’s trying to make me pregnant!”

Felt good, too. Felt nasty. Wrong but right. You’re not gonna do this again but you can’t really wait to do it again. How you feel about it depends on how you feel about it and we all don’t feel the same way about it. It’s not unusual for a guy being boned to blame himself if the other guy couldn’t or didn’t cum but some some, whether he does or not is literally icing on the cake because it’s how being screwed in your butt is making you feel.

Girly. Comfortable and not so much at times. Vulnerable… extremely vulnerable. Kinda scary but not so scary. Nasty. Eh, really nasty. Doing something bad that feels good. Going from feeling full and then, when he finally pulls out, feeling disturbingly empty.

Do it to me. Stick it in me. Cum inside me. Make me feel good and very bad about having you do it to me. And when you’re ready, do it to me again.

Because it feels good and there’s no other way to describe it with your words… but you know why and just as you know that if it didn’t feel good, you wouldn’t do it.

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Posted by on 31 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Hunted

At this precise moment, I can’t remember exactly when it came to my attention that other guys were hunting me. Sure, I’d sometimes have guys I didn’t know approach me and ask me if I wanted to do it but that was usually because someone told them that if they wanted to do it, they should find me – and so much for “I won’t tell if you won’t!”

Didn’t think much about it nor did I think about it when I’d meet a new guy – and why we met didn’t matter – and it wasn’t unusual or surprising if he asked, “Hey… have you ever done it with another boy?” It wasn’t surprising so much when some guy you knew was acting all weird and like he wanted to ask you something… and you just knew what he wanted to ask and, if anything else, it was curious since as far as you knew, he wasn’t likely to ask “the question” and now here he is and you can see him trying to figure out how to ask it.

It’s something else to be minding your own business and “the next thing you know,” some guy is asking you to have sex with him. One of the things a lot of guys are leery about – and because they know about gay dudes – is having some strange dude stroll up to them and put an indecent proposal on the table. If it happens once, well, shit, okay… I guess and it’s easy to dismiss it as just one of those things that ain’t gonna happen again…

Until it happens again. And again.

So many guys wanna know how to meet like-minded guys as they try to suck cock for the first time or find out what it feels like to be screwed and creamed. They don’t know who to ask or where to look when, really, all they have to do is be anywhere other men are because it’s a safe bet that unbeknownst to you, there’s a hunter checking you out and he’s probably chuckling to himself because he knows that you’re completely unaware of his lust-driven scrutiny.

Some folks have that “spidey sense” in that they can tell when someone is focused on them; they have that feeling that they’re being watched, maybe they get that chilly feeling that raises goosebumps or otherwise makes them a bit uncomfortable or sometimes someone will say, “That guy over there is looking at you real hard – do you know him?” You look that way and either the guy eyeballing you quickly looks away… or he’s still intensely looking at you.

Oh, shit! And then more “oh, shit” because he’s coming your way and even if you’re not of a mind to hop in bed with another guy you’re gonna wonder, “What the fuck does he want?” – and sometimes and by some way, you kinda know what he wants and if you’re not “that kind of guy,” it’s often a great relief to find out that you got his attention for some other reason other than getting you naked and having sex with you.

Or, if you are that kind of guy, both disappointed and relieved that he was looking at you for some other reason.

For me and once I became very aware of this, it was like I had a sign on me that everyone except myself could see. I didn’t have to go looking for a guy to have sex with: They were out in droves and looking for me and, it seemed, specifically me! I even noticed that if I were looking for a, hmm, dick-friendly guy (and someone I didn’t already know), if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have had any luck at all.

Figures, huh?

I learned – but it seems like other bi guys haven’t – that all you have to do is just been seen by other men and let yourself be hunted and, if you can manage it, not freak out when some guy strolls over to you and starts talking to you which, admittedly, ain’t that easy to do since, these days, trust is hard to come by these days.

Some guys aren’t of a mind to be approached like this and by a total stranger or that doesn’t bother them so much but having sex with a total stranger? Ain’t gonna happen! But everyone is a stranger until you meet them and get to know them, right? Friendships don’t always “just happen” – they can be developed and cultivated and it’s really okay to tell a stranger who just hit on you, “Thanks, but no thanks – I don’t know anything about you, no offense…”

The hunter might not like that response and will go looking for someone else but he might be “persistent” and could say, “I understand – so can we get to know each other?” or something along those lines. For real – you still gotta protect yourself at all times and that’s just a basic fact of life these days so being wary is warranted – just a matter of how much you really wanted to meet someone and get to know them well enough to have the sex with them you want to have.

You don’t have to agree to anything and can tell him that you’re not interested but if anything else, it just might increase your awareness that you really can’t leave your home and think that you could be hunted by some guy or, really, by anyone.

One of the things that used to get talked about when hanging out with da fella was, “What would you do if some dude rolled up on you and asked if he could suck your dick?” Oh, man – you should hear some of the shit guys will say in response to that question! Some would politely reject the proposition while some would get indignant and, sometimes, violent – or so they said. Some guys would say, “I don’t know…” and not because they’d be interested; they don’t know how they’d respond because no one has ever approached them like that but, yeah, hmm, sometimes? They do know how they’d respond and they probably wouldn’t say no… but one does have to protect their reputation after all.

I don’t leave home without being aware of all the potential hunters out there and I have a whole decision process tree just for hunters cued up and ready to push the play button on just in case… because you never know and you can’t look at a guy and tell that, oh, yeah, that guy is on the hunt for some dick/ass! And, no, even if the guy somehow looks like the type to you, he may not be which, overall, makes being male and bisexual difficult because you just can’t identify another bi guy just by looking at him and, of course, he might be eyeballing you for reasons other than sex/sexuality.

If you’re not of a mind to do some hunting of your own – and many aren’t and for a lot of reasons that makes sense to them – you can be hunted and now, again, it’s a matter of what you’re gonna say or do when a hunter finds you and wants to get you naked.

The real kicker? A hunter could be someone you already know… but ya didn’t know that about him.

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Posted by on 28 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: That Awkward Moment

I was visiting an acquaintance one day and we were drinking coffee and getting caught up since it had been a while since we’d last seen or talked to each other. Eventually, we ran out of things to talk about and he suggested that we watch a movie and I said that was fine.

Didn’t expect the movie to be porn but okay; I’m not a prude, after all but the yellow lights started flashing in the back of my mind. We’re sitting there, watching and critiquing the action on the screen and he says, “Damn, I’m fucking horny!”

And, admittedly, so was I – just wasn’t going to say anything about it even though I did catch him sneaking peeks at my crotch and as if to confirm that I was as hard as I knew he was. More watching, more critiquing and he blurts out, “Man… I gotta do something about this!” and, yep, knew exactly what he meant and I was picking a moment to, um, discretely use the bathroom to make my problem go away.

Well, until he pulled his dick out and started stroking it. Okay… not the first time I’ve seen this happen and when he suggested that it was okay if I did the same thing, well, not a first time either and I’m not bashful about it one bit. More watching. More critiquing. Lots of very slow and deliberate stroking and, yep, every so often, we’d look at each other and grin like idiots because, well, guys do that.

The other guy is… fidgety and, I thought, a lot more than he probably should have been. The yellow lights in my head got brighter and while I didn’t know about him, I could feel that the mood in the room had changed… and I wasn’t the one who was changing it. He wasn’t… content to be pulling on his pud and I don’t know if he was even aware that I was aware of this so for me, it was now a matter of waiting to see what would happen next.

He changed movies and doing that gave us both a chance to reset and cool off and by this time, neither of us are wearing pants and we’d long since got past that point of sneaking looks at each other and were well into eyeballing each other’s erections; I had gotten up to go get some water and as I returned to my seat next to him, yep, he was pretty much staring at me and the mood in the room changed again from “something might happen” to “wait for it…”

We get comfortable, he hits the remote to start the next flick… and reaches over to wrap his hand around my dick and giving me a “I hope you don’t mind” look and I showed him that I didn’t mind one bit by wrapping my hand around his. Watching. Critiquing. Slowly stroking each other and the longer this went on, the more awkward the mood in the room became. Personally? I would have rather been sucking his dick than stroking it but, eh, that’s the way I usually am… but him? I could look at him and his body was telling me that he wanted to do more than stroke my dick and to be honest, I was thinking about saying to him, “If you wanna suck me, you can…”

But I wanted to see what, if anything, he was going to do… because I’m just curious like that. I know me, of course… but I was learning something about him and now it was a matter of seeing just how far he was willing to take things. The moment got even more tense and awkward… well, for him anyway. I could tell he either wanted to say something about the hand jobs turning into blow jobs… or he was trying to decide to just do it and, if he had to, beg forgiveness.

He was building up to a moment and so much that it actually distracted me enough to delay my release because I really wanted to see if he was going to do what I thought he was gonna do. Man… he was jumpy. Fidgeting in place and not even really stroking my dick – he was more like holding it… kinda and his eyes kept cutting over to look at my face – and I was doing a great job of looking like I wasn’t paying attention to him.

He let out a really heavy sigh, leaned over, and took me into his mouth; the yellow lights in my head changed to green and the voice in my head said two things: “I knew it!” and “It took him long enough!”

The movie was forgotten and we both exploded into each other’s mouth although I did note that this was probably the first time he sucked a dick and more so when, um, he kinda almost threw up on me when I came but stuck with it just the same.

We get rearranged back into a sitting position and after another awkward moment of silence, he finally said, “I don’t know what made me do that!”

And I said, “I had a feeling that you would – you okay?”

He blinked a few times before asking me,”How could you have known that?”

“Experience,” I said. “Obviously, this ain’t something new for me and you just kinda learn some stuff about other guys.”

“Okay, smart guy – when did you start thinking that?” he asked.

“When you started stroking my dick,” I said. “I was actually sitting here watching you think about it.”

He blinked some more and kinda shook his head before saying, “Was I that obvious?”

“No, you weren’t but once you did that, I was pretty sure you weren’t going to be content with just that happening so from where I was sitting, it wasn’t a matter of if – it was a matter of when.”

“Why didn’t you just go ahead and blow me instead of waiting for me to do something?” he asked.

“One, I wasn’t sure you’d allow it and, two, I really did want to see what, if anything, you were gonna do,” I said.

“Sounds like you had already made up your mind to let it happen before it did,” he said.

“I did – the moment you grabbed my dick,” I said.

“What if I hadn’t done either thing?” he asked.

“Then you didn’t but I know that sometimes these things just happen like this,” I said. “I thought that you might take it further and thought that you might not… and I was just gonna sit here and see what you were gonna do.”

“If I had known it would be okay with you, things wouldn’t have been so awkward,” he said – and I gave him a few points for being aware of how awkward the situation was getting.

“You could have asked,” I said.

“You could have asked, too,” he countered.

“I know – and I started to – but since I had no idea that you’d even pull your dick out in front of me – let alone getting it into your head to stroke me, it was easier for me to just wait to see what might happen next,” I said.

“You knew I would, didn’t you?” he asked.

“No, I really didn’t but just watching you told me that you were either going to say something about it… or just do what you did,” I said. “Are you feeling okay about it?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he said. “I still don’t know why I did what I did – but it just seemed like the right things to do; does that make sense?”

“It does,” I replied.

“It, um, shit – it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be… and now I know why they say it’s an acquired taste,” he said.

I just smiled at him.

“You’re pretty good at it,” he said.

“I should be – I’ve been doing it for a very long time,” I said and as I said that, I’m back to watching him because I had a good idea what he was going to say next… or eventually. He got up – still naked from the waist down – and headed for his kitchen and asking me if I wanted a sandwich and I joined him and after washing our hands, we threw some sandwiches together and the whole time, I just kept watching and waiting and before we even left the kitchen after devouring the sandwiches, that awkward moment was starting to build again.

And he knew that I knew it.

As we sat back down on the sofa – and he stopped the DVD, which had, somewhere along the line, started over – the awkward moment peaked and it didn’t surprise me one bit when he said – and awkwardly so – “Do you think we can blow each other again?”

“I’m game if you are,” I said and silently congratulating myself on being able to read him so easily.

We finished that round and got to a third which left us both running on empty and just sitting here talking about a lot of nothing.

“That was quite the experience for me,” he finally said. “I still don’t know why I wanted to do that but I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad that you wanted to and that you’re good with it but, um, next time? Just don’t be awkward about it; it’s okay to just ask me if I’m interested even though it’s obvious that I would be because now I know if this happens again, I’m not gonna hesitate or wait on you to say or do something.”

“Bold, ain’t you?” he asked with a laugh.

“No reason for me not to be; this ain’t my first rodeo and I don’t have any shame in my game,” I said with a shrug. “Doesn’t makes sense for me to have any shame, either; I’ve been sucking dick for a very long time and I love doing it and, to be honest, I love it when another guy can find out what I already know about it.”

“You’re a trip,” he said.

“More than you know,” I said, getting to my feet and preparing to go on my merry way.

Awkward moments like that are… kinda funny and more so when you’re very sure of how things are going to turn out. Sometimes they don’t and sometimes, at some later point, the guy you were in that awkward moment with will often confess what he was thinking about doing but was kinda scared to say or do anything or, as with one guy, he was waiting for me to make a move on him and was disappointed that I hadn’t. But in my defense, I didn’t because I wasn’t really paying attention to him and if he had been dropping any hints, well, I profess and confess to them going right over my head sometimes.

Perfectly normal. Sometimes uncomfortably awkward or hilariously so.

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Posted by on 22 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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