Good question and one I find myself asking a lot these days, not so much whether or not bi guys are “really” more gay than bi but why there are a lot of guys who seem to think that they are. I’ve written that there are a lot of people who only see one side of bisexuality – the homosexual side – and it makes a weird kind of sense given that we still think being gay is so unusual… and some of the people who have this kind of tunnel vision also happen to be bi guys.
One of the things that “bothers” them is the normal ebb and flow of their libido – how they don’t always feel like they need some dick and how it can make them insane because they want it so badly that not even pussy can make the craving go away. It seems to me that there are a lot of guys who are of a mind that the craving for dick should always be locked into the “On” position and no matter what and I think that because, in reality, that craving never really goes anywhere, it does get a lot of guys wondering if they’re really more gay than bi and because they’ve developed a bad case of dick on the brain.
Of course, this is something I know all too well and for obvious reasons and while I know that whatever I do with a guy is, hands down, very gay, I know that I’m not gay. However, in “general” discussion, bi guys do spend a lot of time talking about cock than they do pussy and, yeah, even I do because, well, pussy is something we know well but the dick thing? Just so utterly fascinating and even more to be able to see what guy’s have on their mind about it and if you were to be able to witness it, you’d probably swear that you stumbled into a conversation among gay men. However, on the forum, we do talk about pussy and women and how much fun it is to have sex with them or, yeah, wishing they’d be more amiable about giving it up to us and lamenting when our woman’s sex drive falls off the cliff and is lost forever to us… which eventually turns into why a lot of guys are heavily into getting some dick.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is how gay men – and, perhaps, unknowingly – haven’t done us bi guys any favors by being the poster children for M2M interactions and, as such, a lot of bi guys behave like gay men, which I guess makes sense given how they’re the only real point of reference we have when it comes to this. Even Cityman and I have talked about this and how much male homosexuality has greatly influenced the male bisexual mindset, not that it’s really that bad of a thing and it’s not to speak poorly about gay men but, yeah: Bi guys are held to the same standards of behavior that gay guys are and it’s something that makes some guys struggle with their bisexuality and gets them questioning themselves as to whether they’re really gay or not.
I know that if there’s one fear a newbie bi guy has, it’s over being turned into a gay guy and specifically of the flaming variety and while such men proudly embrace their ability to, um, flame on, in the court of public opinion, nah, that’s not really a shining example of what we think masculinity should be and given the long-standing angst against any gay man, well, it’s easy to see how a bi guy could be very worried about him taking the plunge and instantly turning into a very effeminate gay man.
No – I am not joking about that at all, you know, in case you think I am. One of the things that makes this very real fear go away is the moment a guy girds his loins, has sex with a guy and then realizes that he’s still the same guy he was before the sex took place or, how ’bout that? He didn’t immediately turn into a very feminine gay dude! But here’s the thing I think gets to fucking with a guy’s head and plants the thought in his mind that he might be more gay than bi:
You do it once… and chances are very good you’re gonna want to do it again and the urge to dive back in can be very hard to resist. In the majority of times, you can see this when a guy sucks cock for the first time and he’s managed to be able to shove this particular… concern to the back of the bus and, as I’ve said a lot, gets them saying that it wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be and all that… but what the sentiment is really about is not only didn’t they get struck by lightning for their sin, it didn’t make them as gay as they thought it was going to. It’s really a huge load off of a guy’s mind to discover and prove to himself that he’s not one of those guys societies worldwide insist are the most vilest of human beings for being homosexual.
Having sex with a guy is pretty damned addictive and it does become a bit of a prime focus for a lot of guys. It’s not that they have anything against women or that, if they could get some pussy, they’re gonna turn it down or anything like that… but sex with a guy is just so exciting and different and, oh, yeah, very damned gay which is what a lot of guys kinda don’t want to be so, yeah, it’s not that difficult to see why and how a guy can, at some point, wonder if he’s really gay or if he’s more gay than he suspects himself to be. From where I’m sitting, it’s not unusual for guys, once they discover the joys of sex with a guy, to go bat-shit crazy over it; they can’t seem to get enough of it and even if/when they manage to rein themselves in, that very bad case of dick on the brain just never really goes anywhere; it’s either smack dab in their face or it moves to the background and just hangs out.
And do we not know that there are a lot of people who insist that bisexuality isn’t real and that it’s just a stopping off point on the road to full homosexuality? We do, don’t we? Us guys can have such a terrible case of dick on the brain that it really does get people thinking that we’re really gay and in denial of being so and, as such, totally and completely overlooking the fact that, uh, we still very much love women and pussy and the majority of us favor pussy over dick… but the dick is a close second. There are bi guys who do favor dick over pussy, which gets relegated to second place and because they do, some of them believe that they’re really more gay than bi. Driving this school of thought is our… inability to stop the way our brains process things in a binary mode – it’s either this or it’s that and while many are getting around to seeing how fluid and dynamic sexuality, on the whole, is, yeah – there’s still that prevailing thought that one is either straight or they’re gay… and when a bisexual has a bad case of dick on the brain, well, they must really be gay, right?
Nope. Now, some dudes do discover that they are really gay and that’s just how things can go from them. But as I said earlier, if you were to see what I see on a daily basis on the forum, you’d be convinced that there isn’t a bi guy anywhere among the membership… because all we talk about is men, dicks, and asses and our utter fascination and fear about these things. A guy sucks another guy off and it now becomes the most fascinating thing ever since he learned how to eat pussy. A guy who wondered what it was like to be fucked gets fucked… and now he’s over the moon about it and he just can’t get enough cock in his ass and more so when being fucked serves to wake up his inner girl and really puts him in touch with himself and in ways that being straight can’t do.
Are bi guys really gay guys in disguise? No, we aren’t… but there’s no escaping the perception and, like I said, gay men haven’t exactly done us any favors when it comes to this – and still no offense meant or implied. I’m kinda laughing to myself and thinking that if you’re a guy, you haven’t experienced something until you hear a very effeminate gay man tell you all about how he’s gonna make you forget pussy forever and you’ll never want to have sex with a woman again. Oh, they’re as serious as a heart attack about that… but it’s always given me a very bad case of the giggles; it’s not that I don’t know how good sex with a guy can be because I do… but to have a really gay guy telling you how he’s gonna rock your world and like no woman ever could? Hilarious and I do take them seriously but the fact that such a gay man has historically been known to strut their stuff and be all in your face about it, perhaps you can see why so many bi guys might have reason to wonder if they’re really more gay than bi.
Guys will ask if they’re really gay because they can’t get enough of sucking dick or being screwed and, well, whether they really are or not depends on some stuff but I happen to know that there are gay men who like pussy so, if you consider this, what does being gay really mean? Again, we are much more aware of the fluid state of sexuality… but it’s about focus and focus tends to be not all that fluid and if a guy finds himself fretting over the fact that he’s more focused on cock than he is pussy, well, guess what he’s gonna be thinking about himself?
It’s the reason bi guys tend to nitpick the living daylights out of being bi and many of them do so because they just do not ever want to be seen, accused, or be associated with truly gay men. Oh, my goodness; the psychology involved is so deliciously fascinating! So many people, when they think “bi guy” almost automatically think “gay guy” and, again, as if the other side of the bisexual coin doesn’t or can’t exist and the bad part is that there are a lot of bi guys who are buying into this fallacy. There’s a reason why so many guys – in particular – tend to pitch a bitch about being called or seen as bisexual and insist that the label has no place in our verbal lexicon and, yeah, many insist that they’re not the duck they’re quacking like because too many people, again, hear bi and think gay and the straight side of us gets overlooked and even ignored since, as everyone knows, gay men hate women and pussy and there’s no way on God’s green earth that a gay man could be convinced to have carnal knowledge with a woman…
Of course, they’re quite wrong about that but there’s no… “fun” in acknowledging this dirty little secret some gay folks have. It is not happenstance that the Kinsey scale goes from zero to six and that everything on that scale has been defined in terms of “the majority of times” or what a person is more likely to do first and foremost or, as I like to call it, one’s default behavior and, get this: We don’t ever give much thought about the fact that anyone who’s anywhere on the scale can change their minds about where they are, either “temporarily” or permanently.
Am I a gay man? Only when I’m having sex with a guy; otherwise, I’m not a gay man – I’m a straight guy who loves women and pussy like you wouldn’t believe. I was almost laughing myself silly to think that men, when we’re conceived, spend nine months inside of a woman’s body… and once we get evicted, we spend the rest our lives trying to get back into a woman’s body and as many times as we can. But some of us find that pussy ain’t the only thing that can deliver sexual satisfaction and instead of picking one over the other, shit, yeah – why not both? It’s just so… inconceivable that someone would want to have both which lends itself to that either/or mindset that is still prevalent and, you betcha – gets some guys wondering if they’re really more gay than bi and all because of which aspect can tend to “dominate” our thoughts and to the point that, for some guys, their love of cock is supposed to always be in the forefront of things when, really, that’s not how it works and not even in gay men – we just think it does.
It gets back to sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you just don’t but I understand the utter fascination with feeling like a nut and it’s better than not feeling like a nut. This whole thing can really fuck with a guy’s mind when they’re not feeling like a nut or they think they’re spending too much time feeling like a nut and to be spending a lot of time feeling and thinking like a nut, well, is he really more gay than bi?
I think not but it can feel like that because getting some dick is a lot of fun and satisfying in a great many ways… but so is getting some pussy. If there are bisexuals who are truly 50/50 about this and at all times, well, good for them but the fact of things is that bisexuals aren’t all that 50/50 about being bisexual because of the natural ebb and flow of their sexual desires and I’m of a mind that this is the aspect of bisexual fluidity that some of us just don’t understand about ourselves. The craving for dick isn’t as static as we think it is and as it appears to be in gay men; it literally comes and goes because, well, that’s the way it works and we really do have other things on our mind and things to do other than chasing down some guy and having a field day with his cock… but, boy, doesn’t that always sound like a good idea?
Yep, it sure does but it doesn’t imply gayness in a bisexual man; it’s really not a stopping point on the road to full male homosexuality even though, for some men, it can be and it is because being totally gay is what they find is the thing that works for them; otherwise, it’s one of the two ways a man can have sex, you know, if and when he wants to. I think that, at some point way down the road, the labels we use to describe and define human sexuality will go the way of the dodo bird; they’ll just lose their meaning because everyone will eventually get to understand that being able to enjoy the inherent fluidity of human sexuality doesn’t have any real stopping or resting points. Bi guys can appear to be more gay than bi because, again, playing with another guy’s cock is so fascinatingly addictive… but so is getting some pussy. Homosexuals – and for whatever reason they want and/or need to – have been known to to be all that homosexual and, yep, they can get their heads handed to them to get caught sneaking over to the bi side of things so it’s not bisexuals who catch a lot of shit about not being what they’re supposed to be.
We’ve let this being gay thing really fuck shit up and, again, maybe we’d be better off if the big three labels – straight, bi, and gay – just vacated the premises… but until they do, they will continue to make some folks who are bisexual wonder if they’re more homosexual than bisexual and because the homosexual side is being proven to be very sexually pleasing and exciting and, for some, just as much or even more than the heterosexual side is sexually pleasing and exciting…
And provide we can get rid of the hassles that exist to be able to have sex with anyone… and we ain’t there yet.