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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Debate Continues

As the title indicates, the discussion about bro-jobs is heating up and it’s sliding in the direction of how they don’t happen.  Now, this discussion might seem out-of-place among bisexual and bi-curious guys because one could think that if homey is bi or curios, if a bro-job opportunity came along, at least one guy wouldn’t have any objections; indeed, some guys have said that if their bro asked for one, that works and more so for the guys who are still looking for someone they can have oral sex with for the first time.

I’ve allowed that it makes sense that if a bro-job is needed to cement a bond, as an act of compassion, or just to keep a friend from having a painful case of blue balls, let it happen and have fun… except it’s not that easy because as much as a dude might want to offer/accept a bro-job, his image becomes an all-important factor.  There are, no doubt, guys who wouldn’t object to a bro-job except there’s the whole “Is it gay?” thing to contend with and that alone is enough to stop a bro-job from ever happening and it’s the same thing that also happens to keep guys eager to take the plunge sitting on the side of the pool and comes in the form of a question (and is tacked onto the question of being gay):

“What if someone finds out that I did this?”

It’s not as if this isn’t a legitimate concern for some guys but for the most part, it’s a paranoid one that will make most guys overlook something, namely, there are only two ways someone is gonna find out that you and your bro sucked each other’s dick and that’s if you happen to get caught doing it or one of you tells someone else.  Otherwise, how would anyone know that this went down?  Now, some guys throw it down and are worried about it being found out and that can affect their behavior to the point where someone can look at them and tell that something ain’t quite right with them and could generate a question like, “Dude, are you okay?  Ya look like something’s bothering you!”  It’s not like a guy facing this question is gonna answer it honestly; it’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m good – I was just thinking about something but it’s no big deal…” and then hope that the inquirer doesn’t press the issue.

Add on to this the original question:  “Is it gay?”  Well, um, yeah, the act itself between men is related to homosexual sexual behavior but also true is that not all men who suck cock (or are sucked by men) are gay… but you can see the direction one’s thoughts can move in.  I have seen guys dance all around this question by saying things like, “Well, if we do it but we don’t cum in each other’s mouth, then it’s not gay!”  If you think this sounds cock-eyed, just remember I’ve told you that if you think women are funny about things sexual, guys can be even funnier.  But while the two guys contemplating a bro-job can convince themselves that it’s true (and it isn’t by current definitions), another thing that gets thought can make sure that the hypothetical bro-job never happens, namely (and loosely), will the other guy think I’m gay because I wanna do this?

And this is despite both guys saying right up front, “You know I’m not gay, right?” and the “typical” response is usually along the lines of, “Yeah, but…” right along with, “Neither am I!” and the “but” is kinda implied.  But a guy caught between having this need taken care of and considering the impact on his self-image, will usually lean toward protecting his self-image.  Again, the logic of the situation can make perfectly good sense… but the emotional things will almost always trump and defeat logic.  Some guys are just very much afraid that exchanging blow jobs with any guy is gonna make them instantly gay – and this doesn’t include all those guys out there who think such an act is an abomination to begin with and they’re not included in this scribble simply because we know they’re out there.

One of the things about this is not only what goes through a guy’s mind if/when this situation appears, but the amount of stuff they’re thinking about in a relatively short period of time.  Because these things tend to happen spontaneously, guys find themselves faced with a decision:  Yea or dude, you can’t be serious!  And in the space of time it takes them to accept or reject, they’ve thought about all the implications I’ve mentioned and many more that I haven’t even said anything about and I’m talking about fractions of seconds.  Now the thought process can be extended into minutes because few guys are gonna come right out and ask for a bro-job; like I said before, they’re gonna tap dance all around asking the important question by dropping a lot of hints and beginning with, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”  On the surface, it could be just wishful thinking… and it could be the opening statement that, hopefully, will get this thing to jump off.  During such discourse, both guys are weighing the pros and cons something fierce; the need is there but is the need greater than the implications?

I’ve been in those moments and have sat and watched guys think this through and it’s both fascinating to watch as much as it can be pretty funny as human nature wars with social programming; I’ve seen guy decide that while it would be nice, it’s not worth being worried about someone finding out or confusing him about his sexuality – and keep in mind that this is them thinking about asking me about this and not me asking them.  Depending on a guy’s emotional state at the time and as well as his current state of sobriety, there’s really no telling what he’s gonna say; even if he were to launch into a “hypothetical” situation, all that really means is that he’s still weighing the pros and cons and requires more input, like – and this is an actual thing I’ve heard – “What would you do if someone asked you to suck their dick?” or “If some dude wanted to blow you, would you let him do it?”  Depending who I’m talking to – and this is an important consideration – I may or may not answer either of the questions… but with certain guys, I’m not beyond fucking with them by saying something like, “I dunno… maybe – it depends.  What would you do?”

Sometimes the matter is dropped because my response – or lack of one – isn’t the one they were expecting and now the prospect is deemed to be too much of a hassle because the other consideration that goes through a guy’s mind is, simply, if we do this, what’s gonna happen to our friendship?  I’ve come across guys who found themselves in a bro-job moment with someone else, they said thanks but no thanks, and the friendship got shut down permanently because their sensibilities were greatly offended.  So while bro-jobs do happen – some guys just decide to go for it and worry about any fallout later – a lot of times, they just don’t happen and while there may be those who feel that if it needs to be done, just do it, this isn’t even as easy as it may appear to be – always keep in mind that guys are more worried about their image than they are anything else.  I’ve heard guys say that they were tempted to go for it… but they didn’t; some actually voiced some regret over not doing it but once the moment has passed, there’s usually no going back to it unless in the rare occasion situation that the other guy has, in the intervening time, decided that giving it a shot isn’t going to fuck things up.

Is this really a sexuality issue?  Depends on the guys involved at that moment but bro-jobs are reportedly between straight men whose sexuality isn’t in question and because this demographic segment is being highlighted, sure, questioning the sexuality of any straight guy willing to get into this seems to be appropriate because, as Oceanswater said in some of her comments yesterday, if a guy is willing to do this, he must be into guys – so why not just admit it and do what you gotta do?  This does, in fact, make sense… except a bro-job can happen and there’s no being into guys anywhere in the picture; it’s just guys being opportunistic if nothing else.  Things have to line up at the right time and in the right way as well as with the right person.  I don’t know how many times I’ve been totally surprised by guys putting a bro-job offer out there; you think you know your friends and know them well but something like this?  If homey is buzzed out of his mind at the time, okay, maybe I’m not all that surprised because I do know how booze can play into this… but still!  Who knew home boy could have a couple of drinks and this thing surfaces?  I’ve had guys come right out and say that if we were to do this, it would make them feel so much better (and about whatever’s bothering them)… and in that short space of time I’ve found myself thinking that I had no idea that he’d even consider asking such a question…

Then again, a bro-job is nothing if not a trust issue.  In hypothetical discussions, I’ve allowed that, no, I wouldn’t say you were gay if you “all of a sudden” wanted something like this to happen – and it’s the truth… but I know that you don’t have to be gay to do this.  The trust isn’t about whether or not a good blow job is gonna be given – the trust is all about whether or not this thing can go down and no one else finds out that it did and when they don’t happen, it’s because the trust isn’t there even when the guy you’re talking to about this is a long-time friend.  You’d trust him with your life if the two of you were on the road and he’s driving… but that’s not enough trust to allow a bro-job to happen, purposely or otherwise.  As mentioned and if nothing else, it’s one sure way to find out just how well you think you know someone and you usually discover that you don’t know them as well as you thought you did.

This is such an interesting topic.  Do bro-jobs happen?  Yes, they do.  Are they always between straight guys?  No, they are not.  Is this really a sexuality issue?  No, not always; as described, bro-jobs don’t seem to include the fact that a lot of bi guys, when looking for their first oral experience, often think about their close friends first – it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t but it’s also true that some guys will automatically exclude their close male friends because scratching that itch isn’t worth losing a good friend over.  That a good friendship could be irrevocably destroyed is usually a damned good reason for a bro-job not to ever happen…

Have a safe and tasty Memorial Day!

 
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Posted by on 27 May 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bro Job Bullshit

On the bi guy forum, a recent topic is (wait for it) the bro job and I did a quick web search to see if there was any updated stuff out there on this.  I found a couple of articles and scanned them, picking up on the fact that both articles say that this is an act performed between straight men who don’t see themselves as being gay or bisexual.  One article said that a guy said he didn’t see himself as bisexual – despite participating in five bro jobs (at the time of the writing) – because he couldn’t see himself having a relationship with another guy.

Man, my eyes rolled so hard they knocked my glasses askew.  First, being bisexual doesn’t have shit to do with being in a relationship or even wanting to be in one and I just can’t seem to understand why this particular thing keeps coming up in discussions about bisexuality and, mainly, when men are involved.  Then because there’s still some residual angst toward homosexual men – and, it seems, a continued angst against bisexual men – it’s always highlighted that dudes who get into bro jobs make it clear that they’re not gay even though, um, they just did something that most people would consider to be quite gay.

One of the things I see here is a disconnect between the act – cock sucking – and it being gay for two guys to blow each other as well as what it means to be homosexual.  We – society at large – are so funny about this that while it’s not unusual to see stuff like this get sliced and diced to avoid calling a spade a spade (or a rose is still a rose, if you prefer this one), the deciding factor is in the justification or two bros went down on each other for reasons that have nothing to do with sexuality – from being incredibly horny to being under some kind of emotional distress to even being bored out of their minds and not having anything else “productive” to do – and let’s not forget blaming it on the alcohol.

One article I peeped suggests that if the guys don’t kiss, it’s not gay; the same thing is said when a bro job jumps off but ejaculation doesn’t happen in a guy’s mouth or anywhere else on his body.  Indeed, even way back in the day, a lot of dudes would refuse to suck dick because it was too gay for them… but that didn’t stop them from jamming their dick into some guy’s backside… but if they pulled out and shot their load elsewhere, well, no – it’s not gay at all.  The same article says that a bro job is just part of the male bonding experience and that much I can agree with… but then the article gets into some slicing and dicing, i.e., if you’re the one being blown – but not doing any blowing – your sexual identity is apparently intact and unspoiled.  It even suggests that this is a very big deal in certain cultural groups, like Latin American, Afro-American and middle class America.  This plays into the ages old stereotype that Black men are homophobic and Hispanic men are just as homophobic or even more so.

But bro jobs can happen between men and regardless to culture and if there’s something about this “phenomenon” that’s true, it’s just boys being boys and if the boys happen to be bi or gay, well, okay – that can work and, if nothing else, makes this bro job thing a little easier to swallow (don’t even go there, okay?).  Now, there’s been this issue with folks rejecting sexuality labels and it’s pretty fascinating to see men (in particular) doing things that can be easily described as bisexual and/or homosexual but they insist – and, often, fervently so – that they are very straight.  The perception that bro jobs only happen between men who identify as straight is, in fact, a lie – bro jobs can happen regardless to accepted sexuality; it’s just a more… explosive topic of discussion to imply that this is something straight guys are getting into and, again, because the other perception is that straight guys are never of a mind to suck a dick or be sucked by another guy.  Clearly, this cannot be true and is just another thing that constantly amazes me that so many people are willing to believe this perception than accept the truth that for reasons that don’t make sense to a lot of people, men have oral sex with each other and, often simply, because they can.

It’s taboo and forbidden in all religions and because it is, ha, that’s reason enough for guys to blow each other; I mean, seriously, there must be a reason why this is a bad thing for guys to do, right?  Some guys do suck cock just for the naughty thrill of trashing the rules along with it being fun to do anyway.  I’ve written that the bro job is being touted as something new on the scene… and it isn’t; if it’s anything, it’s an outgrowth of that experimentation phase that we’ve been known to go through and a “phase” that some folks don’t put a lot of stock in – boys will be boys… but when the boys are grown men, well, this is somehow different and maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it really is except while boys being boys is a curious, new hormone driven thing we can somehow get into, when grown straight men decide that sucking each other’s dick is a good thing to do, it’s all about the justification to do so.

And any justification will work.  Some articles seemed to think that putting it out there that there’s nothing gay happening here is an important connotation or as an article said, it’s plausible deniability.  Still, in the way I look at things, it seems to me that if two straight guys are doing something that gay men are notoriously famous for doing, um, how can you say that there’s nothing gay going on here?  Is it okay for two straight dude to blow each other’s brains out and insist that they’re still straight?  I’m seeing that it apparently is which, again, strikes me as being a bit hilarious given that we live in a world that insists and maintains that actions always speak louder than words… except for this.

At the end of any day, the only thing I think matters is that if “Al” and “Frank” are hanging out and decide that, you know, sucking each other off would be just what the doctor ordered right about now, it’s what works and if someone wants to make it a sexuality issue, well, that’s on them.  I know that they happen and sexuality doesn’t always play into the decision of whether or not it’s gonna happen; if anything, “I won’t tell if you won’t!” is invoked and whatever the guys think about themselves is… whatever they think about themselves and even if those thoughts don’t make a lot of sense to anyone else.  Our two hypothetical guys could very well find themselves blitzed and it’s a good idea to blow each other; we know that alcohol, a central nervous system (CNS) depressant, can lower/erase inhibitions; neither of these guys, when sober, might not even think about such a thing… but when buzzed?  Sounds like a great idea – let’s do this!  Maybe they regret it when they sober up, maybe they don’t; the point is that when the topic comes up, folks should just look past the bullshit and understand a few things (even if they find it distasteful):  It’s not about guys being gay or bi or even maintaining that they’re straight; it’s a thing that guys do if they can, want to, or need to do; sometimes it’s just about the need for release, sometimes it’s about male bonding and while people tend to think of relationships in romantic terms, being friends – and even really good friends – with someone is, in fact, a relationship.

Anyone who thinks this is unlikely is someone I’d have to wonder about how much they know about men.  It’s not ab out rightness or wrongness as much as what we have the potential to do… and even when we don’t believe that we do or could do such a thing with a friend or otherwise.  True enough, not all men would participate in a bro job… but I think it’s unrealistic bullshit to believe that two straight guys couldn’t find a reason to suck each other off because it’s just sex, just something to do, or even as an act of compassion.

 
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Posted by on 25 May 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Problem We Face

An early morning note from Cityman got me thinking about this.  Over the last few years, bisexuals – and male bisexuals in particular – have been shat upon like it’s nobody’s business and, again, not unlike the way homosexuals were shat upon for the longest time.  From where I sit, none of this is new or even close to being new and when I hear about some of the doo-doo that’s still being flung around, I’m often amazed at how a mindset that existed (for me) back in the 1960s is still very much alive and well here in 2018.

So Cityman was talking to a guy who thought it was odd that he – Cityman – has gotten his fair share of pussy over his life to date.  Well, um, if you’re bisexual, why would anyone find that as being odd?  The answer is perception:  If you have sex with men, you must be gay; therefore, if you’re gay, you’re not having anything to do with women and pussy.  Of course, the truth is very different and it’s not as if the truth isn’t known… but it’s not always easily accepted because humans have a habit of wanting to trust and believe in what they know even when you can prove, beyond any shadow of doubt, that something else is true.  At best, it’s simplistic thinking used to support one’s beliefs, i.e., guys who like sex with guys are gay so when you tell some gay dudes that you’re bisexual and you have the utter gall to dip your wick into pussy, many of them find it hard to believe that you’d do something that they aren’t so inclined to do.

When Cityman and I talk about bisexual acceptance, the biggest problem isn’t all bi guys standing up to be counted – it’s getting society, as a whole, to accept that there are men – and women – who prefer their sex to be men and women, not men or women.  It was hard enough for society to accept that sex just wasn’t boy/girl as mandated and despite evidence that this wasn’t true, they continue to believe it… and here comes those damned bisexuals who are upsetting the apple cart!  Society still isn’t quite on board with the notion of boy/boy and girl/girl sex (and related activities) but, okay, that kinda sorta fits the one-on-one thing that is also mandated so, sure, that bisexuality isn’t about a singular sexual pursuit, well, there has to be something wrong with these people!

Even way back in 1968, I’d heard that anyone who went both ways was either confused about really being gay or this was just some stopping-off point on the way to being gay… and this is still being put out there… some fifty years after I first started hearing it.  All the shit you hear about bisexuals and,again, particularly men – being greedy, can’t commit, are confused and just going through a phase, are somehow and in some way mentally ill, etc., is – again and again – very old and it was that old when I first started hearing it.

Yes:  Many people just don’t think it’s right that anyone would be anything other than heterosexual and, yes, these days, being homosexual is a lot more acceptable than at any time in modern history and, yes, they are well within their right to think this… still doesn’t make it true, though.  The biggest of all the problems bisexuals face is this continued disbelief that a man or a woman would be comfortable and happy handling their business with men and women.  I’ve always known – and before any of this crap got started – that gay men feel some kind of way about bisexual men and that some of them just don’t like us and because we’re really not like them nor do we really think like they do and, oh, yeah, we are (again) terribly fond of consorting with women.  I said to Cityman that I don’t know how many times I’ve had a gay man tell me that I should just stop deluding myself and admit that I’m really gay and that I’d be better off being gay and leaving women alone.  I’ve been having great conversations with gay men right up to when they learn that I love women – and now I’ve gone from being a really interesting guy to not being so interesting.  I’ve even had gay men get totally bent out of shape to discover that they were playing with a dick that’s been inside a lot of pussy – and it wasn’t as if I didn’t tell them I was bisexual in the beginning, mind you, but, sure, it was all my fault that I “tricked” them even though, realistically, if I told you that and you chose not to believe it, uh, how is that my fault?

I’ve thrown down with gay men, have had a grand time doing it with them, and have had them say that it’s a shame I’m not really gay; I’ve even had some try to turn me to the gay side and felt confident that they could do so.  Wishful thinking?  Sure it is but one of the things I’ve always found odd – and even funny at times – is that there are a lot of gay men who don’t exactly have a good attitude about bi guys… but they also don’t mind sleeping with a bi guy.  Yes, there are gay men who wouldn’t sleep with a bi guy for anything of value.

Switching gears for a moment, bi women get their share of muck thrown at them as well; the ongoing variety is that any woman who says she’s bisexual is really just faking the funk and telling guys who think bi gals are the shit they’re bi just so they can get their hooks into a guy so that, later, they can confess that they’re really not bisexual.  Some lesbians have the same disdain for bi women that gay men have for bi guys:  Confused, can’t commit, are greedy, etc..  But like their gay counterparts, um, some of them aren’t so quick to partake of some bi gal coochie, are they?  We know that society at large doesn’t seem to have a problem with girls doing the nasty to and with each other, you know, given how inconsistent men are when it comes to making women happy in between the sheet – that “only a woman knows what a woman wants” thing I’m sure all of you have heard of… and I heard it over fifty years ago.

The problem we face is one of hypocrisy:  If “Beth” and “Cathy” have a reason to sleep with each other, well, not only is that kinda hot but it’s just a girl-thing – nothing to see here, move along, move along.  If “Bill” and “Carl” have a reason to sleep with each other, well, that’s just plain wrong and, somehow, it becomes a greater offense if “Bill” sleeps with “Carl” – then goes home to his wife, “Cathy” and they start wrecking shop on each other.  Not only are “Bill” and “Cathy” cheating on each other but, wow, they’re into some really fucked up shit and “Cathy” should (1) be able to keep her girlfriend lover and (2) immediately file for divorce from that nasty-assed husband of hers (or just break up if they’re not married).

As long as we – society – keeps thinking in these terms, this will always be a major problem we face and why acceptance of bisexuality will become yet another hard-fought battle and one similar to the war homosexuals fought.  When Cityman shared his item with me, I kinda shook my head to see someone here in 2018 behaving in a manner that I saw a lot of so many decades ago.  Likewise, it continues to make me shake my head to see that when people think about bisexuality, they tend to focus more on the homosexual side of our behavior more than they think about the fact that we have a heterosexual side as well.  Society had one hell of a time accepting that there are people who, for whatever reason, prefer not to be heterosexual; today, they’re having an even harder time accepting that there are people who are heterosexual and homosexual… but not exclusively one or the other.

Like this is some kind of impossibility and in the face of the fact that, historically, there have always been bisexuals and, um, just because you don’t “see” us doesn’t mean we don’t exist – and, sadly, the reason why we don’t exist is that we – society at large – believe that people are either straight or gay.  This is the problem we face; it’s bigger than an individual accepting that they’re bisexual; it’s bigger than running around like crazy trying to find someone you can engage with to explore one’s sexuality.  The reason so many bisexuals work hard to stay hidden is because the bigger problem is being accepted by others and while trying to stand in the face of the shit storm being tossed at us.  The biggest problem with bisexuals isn’t whether or not they’re gonna like whatever they do in the same-sex mode:  It’s what could happen when it’s discovered that they do, in fact, go both ways…

And at this moment in time, society isn’t at all willing to say, “So what if you’re bisexual?  Handle your business!”

 
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Posted by on 17 May 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Short-sighted

Cityman shared a response to an article with me that basically said that guys in and/or around forty get into bisexuality because they don’t have anything else to do after doing the husband thing and raising children. The response went on to say that guys who dive in at this point in their lives are, essentially, clueless to what they’re trying to get themselves into, like, the gay angst against bisexuals and that gay sex is about younger men.

Say what? My first thought was that this response could have been written by a gay man or, at the very least, someone who doesn’t understand bisexuality as much as they think they do. My next thought was that, sure, some guys join the party late because they feel there’s nothing else to be done with women…

But that’s not the only reason – it’s just one of many and some of the other reasons aren’t so easily explained so while generalized speculation is easy, it never tells the whole story.

My third thought was that you can’t look at a man’s bisexuality by comparing it to homosexuality because, duh, you’re only seeing half of the picture and it just never fails to amaze me how short-sighted folks can be about this as they focus on just one side of things.

In other scribbles, I’ve talked about the guys who are late to the party and how some have, in fact, been able to explain why they’re late or how they’re happily heterosexual today… but tomorrow, wow, sucking a dick or even getting boned sounds like a pretty damned interesting thing to check out.

My fourth thought about bi guys being clueless had my eyes rolling pretty hard because sex – and I mean any “genre” of sex – isn’t just for the youngsters, you know, given that there are guys in their seventies still throwing it down. It’s not that bi guys aren’t aware of the environment they’ve stepped into, from an annoying prejudice exhibited by gay men right to the current social angst toward bi men. They’re aware of it, they do worry about it enough that they’re very cautious to avoid getting outed and there are many bi guys who wouldn’t sleep with a gay man come hell or high water.

Many guys prefer to do their dirt with another bi guy; some even prefer their bi partner to be married, the thought here being that married dudes have a more settled mindset than some single guys. A lot of bi guys do want their partner to be older, some want a partner who’s close to their own age and, sure, an older guy getting with a younger stud is just what the doctor ordered.  They also prefer their partner to be bi because they have something else in common other than a taste for cock – women and the good and bad of these beautifully insane creatures.

Some guys aren’t really late to the party – some are returning to the fold after a long absence. Some guys “experimented” back in the day, had fun with it, but stepped away to pay more attention to women, get married, you know the routine, right?  Some guys find that it’s taken them decades to realize that the thing gnawing at them and making them feel incomplete is they’ve always wanted to experience sex with men… but they never had the opportunity to do it.  These guys have felt the siren call of cock all along but, as I said, they just weren’t able to answer or didn’t know that they should answer.  Some guys find themselves sexless and celibate, usual due to a woman’s loss of her sex drive – and spanking the monkey is only gonna provide so much relief – but cheating on a wife or girlfriend to get some coochie might not be the smartest thing to do… but there is the knowledge that there are guys who get down and dirty with other guys and while there’s still that whole fidelity thing to consider – and enough that it’ll keep a lot of guys sitting on the bench – sure, if there’s a guy they can bust a nut with, that’s a better alternative than not having sex at all.  Some older guys suffer from some form of ED that puts a crimp in their ability to have sex with women… but through some kind of arcane magic, they realize that they can suck cock and get boned and it keep them in the game and in a way they can find enjoyable.

And many guys are still huge fans of pussy and still getting their share of it; getting some dick just brings more orgasmic fun to the party or as one guy told me, “It’s there to have fun with so why the fuck not?”  For some guys who are, ah, fashionably late, turning to men for sex is just another way to have sex and puts a twist on it that cannot be experienced with women – that rush one can experience when you know you’re having sex in a way that a lot of people would object to.

While there are a ton of things for bisexual men to be concerned about, these things don’t seem to change the fact that regardless to reason, some guys get to a certain point in their life and decide that being heterosexual only ain’t working for them. Many don’t understand why they’re hearing the call of cock while some have reason to hear it… and answer the call. I’ve been trying to figure this out for a very long time and while I know what a lot of guys have shared their thoughts about this, I admit that I still don’t know how and why a guy wakes up one morning and decide that today is a good day to have sex with another man in some way.  Indeed, this can happen to guys who aren’t “officially” middle-aged; some guys in their mid-twenties get bitten by the dick bug as do men who are in their sixties and older.  The fact of the matter is that a lot of bi guys just don’t start out as being bi; many of them avoided the “experimentation phase” like the plague only to find themselves wanting to check it out later in life.

Still, if ya wanna know why a bi guy is a bi guy, um, if you can, try asking one so you can get and see the whole picture. Ask him and discover how men and women as both emotional and sexual partners makes sense to him and forget that nonsense that if he likes dick, he must be gay… because a bi guy might want to be a lot of things but many would rather not be gay (and no offense to any gay men reading this).  If you can get a guy to talk about it, you’ll hear his reason from his own personal point of view – and sometimes the best answer he can give is, “I really don’t know!” – many late comers are baffled and bamboozled to, again, to be happily heterosexual then their thoughts and feelings make a left turn at Albuquerque.

I was talking to a guy I know (years ago now) and I could tell that something was bothering him and that the way the conversation was going, he was building up to something.  After about an hour of talking about a lot of nothing, I finally asked him, “Yo, what’s bothering you?”

He didn’t answer right away and I could tell he was making a decision; he finally asked, “Have you ever felt like, um, shit, you ever have an urge to suck dick?”

I knew this guy quite well and for a long time so I felt okay answering him by saying, “Sure, I’ve felt that.”

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Went and sucked a dick,” I replied with a shrug.  His eyes bugged out, his jaw dropped but he composed himself quickly.

“Didn’t you feel weird doing it?” he asked.

“Not really,” I said.  “So I’m guessing you have this feeling, right?”

“Yeah… and I don’t know why,” he said.

“It happens and before you ask, I really don’t know why it does,” I said.

“But I’m not gay!” he exclaimed.

“Neither am I,” I said, shrugging again.   “Just because you feel like you wanna do that doesn’t mean you’re gay”

“You seem to know a whole lot about this,” he said, giving me what I’d call a funny look.

“I should since I’ve been doing it for a long time now,” I said with yet another shrug.

“So what should I do?” he asked after he picked his jaw up again.

“I dunno – what do you want to do?  Look, man, just because you have the urge doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. I will say that a lot of guys get the urge and try to ignore it… and find out that they can’t ignore it.” I said.

“But I’m not gay!” he said again.

I just shrugged.

“So there’s nothing wrong with me?” he asked.

“Not that I know of,” I said.  “Like I said, it happens…”

I saw him two weeks later and the first thing he said – and after making sure no one could overhear him – was, “I did it, man – I sucked some dude’s dick and he sucked mine!”

“And?” I asked.

“It was weird at first but, damn, it felt good and I felt like I was doing the right thing – ain’t that some shit?” he replied with a huge grin.

“Yeah, it’s quite a rush, ain’t it?” I said, matching his smile with one of my own.

As I said to him, it just happens, sometimes with a particular reason like a guy doing his level best to get with women and it’s just going badly for him and some guys can’t really point to anything specific to explain why this urge to have sex with another guy has landed on them hard.  You ask 100 bi guys why they’re bi… and you’re likely to get 100 different answers that sound similar on the surface – there’s just too many things happening below the surface that just cannot be put into words.  When folks are trying to make sense of male bisexuality, it’s just my opinion but they really need to look at the whole person and not look at them or generalize things based on how gay guys handle their business; they shouldn’t forget or discount that bi guys still like women and pussy – that’s still a part of the narrative that short-sighted folks just don’t see… and they need to see it.  Otherwise, they wind up making comments like the one Cityman shared with me that, at least to me, reek of a great lack of understanding.

 
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Posted by on 13 May 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Diversity

Despite what some demographic studies say, bisexuals come from all walks of life and from every race, color, and creed.  I’ve seen stuff written that suggests that bisexuality is running rampant in low-income, low education, and urban locations and when I see stuff like this, I wonder who’s compiling the data and given the nature of said data, if collectors are specifically going into these areas and singling out any bisexuals who fall into these categories… provided they can actually find them since, you know, bisexuals are reported not to exist.

Ha, ha… sure they don’t.

Over these many years, I try to pay attention to what other bi guys are doing and saying; one of the things I’ve been seeing is how bi guys have gone from getting with any guy who’d be willing to get with them to being pretty specific about this and to the point where a guy’s precious preferences can sometimes be looked at as a form of prejudice and even discrimination due to age, height, weight, ethnicity and other factors.  While any bi guy has the right to want what he wants and in the way he wants it and can have some experiences, because male bisexuality seems to be lacking a sense of diversity, many guys climb out of the heterosexual box, get into the bisexual box, find a comfortable spot, and just stay there… and some of them begin to wonder why they’re not getting much – or any – action.  Or, in some cases, guys are having a grand time getting their freak on but find themselves in a bit of a rut and the sex, while good, doesn’t seem to be as satisfying as it was when they first hit the field.

Many years ago and while at a conference, I was talking to a guy during a break and we both “confessed” that we were bisexual.  I’ll say that as usual, it’s always fun to run into another bi guy and talk to him (even if nothing else happens) when he pointed out another guy attending the conference and said, “Now, that guy right there?  I’d never sleep with him!” I looked at the guy in question and he looked pretty average to me but I asked him why he wouldn’t sleep with that rather handsome guy.

“Because he’s white,” came the answer.  That made me blink for a moment before he continued by saying, “Oh, and no offense, but I wouldn’t sleep with you because you’re black.”

I wasn’t offended but I’ll admit that my brain got stuck for a moment before I could ask him what made him make decisions like that and, unsurprising, he couldn’t really explain his reason all that well and when I asked him if he ever had sex with another white guy or even a black one, he said that he hadn’t… and because he knew he wouldn’t like it.  I remember shrugging and not saying anything else about it even though, after the conference was done for the day,we hung out for dinner later on.  Over periods of time, I started to see a lot of things like this – guys having some pretty specific preferences but, at the same time, often complaining that whatever action they were getting was either limited, not all that gratifying, satisfying and, sometimes, exciting as it started out to be.  A lot of guys invoked a form of age discrimination and in either direction, i.e., a guy could be ready, willing, and able… but if he was “too young” or “too old” that was a deal breaker for them.  If a guy didn’t meet certain physical qualities, i.e., he wasn’t height-weight proportionate, no deal… and the same if the guy under observation was too tall, too short, too skinny, overweight – you get the gist of things, don’t you?  I’ve seen guys get passed over for reasons that, as an observer, just blows me away (and not in that really good way); I once was negotiating with a guy who was quite promising, only to have those negotiations break down because I was two years younger than he was and deemed to be “too young” for anything to happen between us.

Wait… what?  An even better question was, “What the hell is going on with this shit?”  When a guy would tell me that my dick wasn’t big enough – or was too big, didn’t have foreskin or, get this, my nuts weren’t big enough – I would think that there’s something really wrong happening and more so when there was a time when guys didn’t really care about such picky details – the only thing that mattered was you could agree on what to do when the clothes came off.  I began seeing this… behavior somewhere around the early 1990s and it’s gained a lot of strength and momentum as guys started to get very damned picky about who they got naked with and then, to make shit even more baffling, guys who wanted to sleep with other guys – but hadn’t done so yet – were being very picky about the kind of guy they wanted to have their first experience with.

Even my protegé has shown signs of this behavior; he likes a specific type of guy and while he’s getting plenty of action from his guy of choice, he often complains that while the sex is good, eh, other aspects aren’t all that good and I’ve asked him, simply, why he won’t just step away from his preferences and check out guys who are, for all intents and purposes, outside of those preferences.  For instance, he gravitates to older Black men who look like they could play for the NFL and on the defensive or offensive line but when I asked him why he wouldn’t throw down with, say, a white guy his age (or even a little younger), he said that he didn’t think he’d enjoy the interaction, prompting me to ask him, “Well, if you don’t ever do it, how can you know that it wouldn’t be enjoyable?”

At least he had the good sense not to say, “Because I know I wouldn’t like it!”

It seems to me that if a bi guy isn’t happy with men who fall into their preference zone – or they’re simply not getting action at all – well, why not do things differently because there are a whole lot of different guys out there?  Sure, it’s okay to have preferences but as you’ve seen me write at times, there’s such a thing as setting the bar too high and being too specific in those preferences just does not take advantage of the diversity that exists when it comes to men.  I’ve learned that a lot of this has to do with attraction – lots and lots of emphasis on this these days and while you, dear reader, might not think that this is all that unusual, since I’ve been around for a while, I can tell you with a high degree of certainty that it didn’t use to be like that; if a guy was clean, healthy, agreeable and trustworthy, something would happen… but not so much these days.  Guys are seriously into what they prefer, like the guys who are size queens, for instance; these dudes would pass over a guy who didn’t have at least seven inches and had a great mindset and personality for a guy who was sporting ten thick inches and proved to be a bit of an asshole… and I try to make sense of all of this and more so when so many men who have these… rather limiting preferences are also the ones complaining that they can’t find a guy to have sex with.  I’ve even asked these guys, in the area of attraction, why they aren’t attracted to the sex or why they don’t seem to be able to get all charged up over the prospect of having sex… and it seems that some guys have developed an angst against being attracted to sex first and prefer some other kind of attraction to be immediately present before any sex can be – or will be – considered.

Look, I’m not saying these guys aren’t within their rights because they are but, again, I ask a simple question:  If you’re not getting the dick you want and the way you want it because of your preferences (and the way you think about attraction), why won’t you change stuff so that you can have the sex you say you need and badly so?  Why not take advantage of the huge diversity that’s available?  Once upon a time, getting some dick was so easy it wasn’t funny; today, eh, not so much and despite what some guys say, it really isn’t harder (no pun) to find a guy to have sex with as they say it is because there are literally millions of men who’d be more than happy to get naked with you… if you were more of a mind to be more diverse in your pursuits and do things in a way that makes getting some dick easier and not harder.

Last night, I was giving my protegé the business during our conversation about diversity or, specifically, his lack of said diversity.  He said that he does get with other guys – and he does… but all of the guys he gets with are in his wheelhouse.  We were talking about twinks one day – and because one contacted him (yes, he was of legal age) and sent him a pic of a backside that even I thought was nice.  He said, “I should take him up on his offer!” because the twink was younger – like 25 or so – and Oriental and I said, “Yeah,you should – go for it!  If nothing else,you can find out how guys from other cultures deal with bisexuality, right?”

And he didn’t get with the guy and, sorry, my Padawan learner, it was because the younger Oriental guy with the nice butt was outside of his preferences.  The thing I can’t get my head around is that, intelligently, my protegé understands the diverse nature of male bisexuality and agrees that such diversity is a damned good thing… but he can’t seem to break out of the box he’s locked himself into and, yeah, he even knows that this isn’t a good thing.  And at a high level of thought, I’m thinking that this lack of diversity isn’t as good of a thing as some might think it is because, if nothing else, you lessen your chances for sexual experiences (and even emotional ones if you’re into that aspect) more than anything else.

 

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Twinks

Oceanswater posted a blog about these guys the other day expressing concern about these [usually] young guys getting out there and becoming sexually involved with older men and without much thought about how much trouble they can find themselves in, not to mention the trouble those horny older men can get given that some twinks get their start when they’re like 14 years old.  She opined that the twinks who find themselves between and rock and a hard place (or the recipient of some very hard dicks) could not get into a lot of trouble if their parents were more accepting of their wayward child’s homosexuality.

Certainly, it’s a noble thought and in my comment, I allowed that I wasn’t all that sure if parental acceptance would be enough to convince a young teen to, um, work with his explosive hormones within his age/peer group exclusively and that, at best, telling your gay child to stay away from older “perverts” can sometimes be like them being told to go ahead and do it with an older guy.  We know that this interaction can have some disastrous results but as with many thing about this, the one thing we rarely acknowledge is that this situation doesn’t always go as wrong as we know it can be.

Historically – and back in more ancient times – quite a few cultures allowed and approved of grown men taking young, hairless boys in hand and mentoring them in how to become a man when they come of age which included sex happening between them… but under some very specific conditions.  The adult could, to be blunt and direct, have the man-in-training (twink) suck his cock as well as be sodomized – but the adult could not submit himself to being boned in the butt.  Once the twink became a man in his culture – like when his beard started to grow – all bets were off and the twink is now untouchable and the penalties for continuing to, um, mentor someone who was now a legal man in that culture were pretty severe.  The practice is pretty ancient and while we’re familiar with the Greeks and Romans, some written documentation that has survived over time points back to Japan’s practice of this and before the Greeks and Romans existed.

So while such a thing is morally reprehensible today, in those times gone by and according to the prevailing social norms, if a well-off adult male didn’t have a twink under his wings, their status in the community could be called into question.  The “bad” part, if you care to look at it this way, I don’t think it would be unreasonable to assume that this, er, um, mentoring not only went past a young man’s coming of age but not everyone was playing by the rules when it came to who was doing what to whom, if ya catch my drift.

It’s not so unusual for a twink to gravitate toward someone much older or, really and honestly, the other way around.  Twinks are usually slender yet muscled and virtually hairless young men who, in fact, kinda resemble women in some ways; they’re usually quite handsome and graceful when they move and quite promiscuous thanks to the onset of those raging hormones.  Some of them are so slender that I’ve joked that someone needs to sit a twink down and feed him until he gets some meat on his bones.  I had been thinking about Oceanswater’s post and thought about gay porn as a whole genre… and felt that because there’s a lot of gay porn (and, sometimes, I think most of it) that depicts young, slender, practically hairless men not only having sex with guys who look just like them but with older “daddies” as well.  These porn, ah, models are supposed to be legal adults to be porn models but some of them don’t look a day over 14 and some guys go out of their way to maintain this very youthful look despite being legal adults… and the same is true for those twinky guys who aren’t in the porn business.

Indeed, I spent a few minutes looking at these porn-related examples and, wow, yeah, lot’s of twinky-looking guys not only doing each other but there were examples of “young” twinks being done by older “daddies.”  In fact, porn – and even before the advent of video (you know, the infamous dirty books) – was rife with acts of homosexual sex between very young guys and much older adults so if this really wasn’t something new where porn is concerned, well, porn tends to do its best to imitate real-life stuff even in some very exaggerated ways.

It’s considered to be normal for young men to sexually experiment with each other even though we – society – maintain that they shouldn’t and act as if these young, horny motherfuckers have no idea what they’re doing… and since I was once one of those young, horny motherfuckers, I can assure you that we were a great deal more knowledgeable about that sex thing than we were supposed to be.  Again, we hold true that some 35-year-old guy has no business whatsoever laying the pipe to a young, twinky-looking 16-year-old and that if such a heinous thing happens, the older man seduced, coerced (or whatever) the younger man into having sex… but not always.  Even within the horny gang I grew up with, there were quite a few of them who went out of their way to do some seducing and coercing of their own with, let’s say, older men who would be in their cups quite a bit and susceptible to giving up the dick – I won’t tell if you won’t, Mr. Jones, okay?

During the conversation with Oceanswater about this, I agreed that, sure, if parents of young homosexuals were more acceptable about this and willing to educate their youngster in the ways of “proper” homosexual behavior, a lot of young twinks who do, in fact, fall prey to much older predators might not become victims… but that assumes that the parents are able to provide this education in the first place and while there are modern-day parents who do their best to ensure that their young homosexual is cautioned to the best of their ability to do so, some parents themselves have very negative views about homosexuality and/or don’t know anything about it beyond the usual shit being said about homosexuals or, to be frank, what they know about homosexuality would easily fit on the head of a pin and with plenty of room to spare.  As previously mentioned, anyone who’s a parent knows that you can tell a child not to do something and you pretty much gave them “permission” to go ahead and do it and despite adding on the threat/promise of some very severe consequences upon any disobedience of the orders not to do a thing; I don’t even wanna get into how many times my own parents told me not to do something and I did it anyway… and got my ass tanned for it.

On the bi guy forum, the topic of younger versus older comes up at times and it’s not surprising to see that a lot of the younger guys – say, from 21 to 30 – are looking for older guys to engage in sexual congress with and specifically so.  Conversely, there are some guys in this particular age group who prefer to consort with guys their own age because getting with someone old enough to be their daddy is just too yucky to contemplate and, yes, there are guys in my age group who’d be fine with getting with a 35-year old… but anyone younger – but legal – well, um, no and, oddly enough, the general consensus is that some guys between the ages of 21 and 25 are just too flighty, lack a degree of maturity and seriousness, and are just too all over the place to be worth the time having sex with them.  There is currently an open thread where the OP asks about finding older men to get involved with; I’m not saying that the guys in search of this demographic are, themselves, twinks but I am saying that the concept of younger men seeking older men to “show them the way” continues to exist and will, most likely, continue to do so in any imaginable future.

I’m not saying that any of this is right or wrong – I’ll leave that to you, the reader, to decide; I’m just the guy who’ll tell you that twinks abound in society and that not all of them are as victimized as one might believe.  Perhaps more parental acceptance would make a difference here, perhaps it wouldn’t; you can tell a 16-year-old twinky guy not to ever get involved with some horny 40-year-old dude because some very bad shit can happen – and it can but it doesn’t mean that our 16-year-old twink can’t or won’t decide that getting some older dude to give them a more serious sexual education won’t happen.   While we hold true that an older guy being potentially faced with this scenario should be the wiser of the two and send young homey packing, well, it doesn’t always happen like that, sorry to say.  Across the United States, there are age of consent laws and some states even specifically list how old someone has to be in order to consent to homosexual sex (usually 18 across the age of consent board).  If there is a rash of young twinks being victimized or otherwise led astray, I think the only thing that can be done legally is to raise the age of consent and make the punishment for violations more, um, punishing… but I’m not gonna say that this will make things better or just make things worse because if 15-year-old “Johnny” is of a mind to get “seriously educated” by a man twice his age or older, “Johnny” is gonna find a way to make it happen and if for no other reason than there’s only so much he’s gonna learn from his peers.

It’s said that younger guys who seek out much older guys have unresolved daddy issues of some kind (as well as older guys who just have an inappropriate taste in sexual partners) and maybe some really do but this seems to be just more of the same in that younger men/boys need older men to teach them some… stuff and there are older men who want to be those teachers.of things carnal.  Society says this should never happen and cannot be allowed to happen but still doesn’t change the fact that twinks can find themselves fully involved by choice or by having some very bad luck.  Truth is that we have few educational outlets for these young men/boys and while the angst around homosexuality has been greatly lessened these days, there is still much angst over homosexuality for many parents to, first, accept that their young son is homosexual and, second, do their best to make sure their young homosexual avoids the many pitfalls life will put in his way.  Schools are loath to teach students about sex to begin with and I’ve read some news stories where teachers attempting to shine some light on homosexuality have been vilified and terminated with extreme prejudice for having the audacity to instruct children on such a forbidden topic.

In order to avert or even minimize the concerns that Oceanswater spoke of – and rightfully so, I think – society is gonna have to make some changes to its mindset that I just don’t see happening any time soon.  Can – or should – parents be more proactive and accepting?  Maybe… if they could set aside their own personal and potentially negative thoughts about homosexuality so they can guide their young homosexual in the right directions.  Truth is a lot of people are so very NIMBY – not in my back yard – about homosexuality or it’s okay if little “Billy” is gay… but not so much if their “Jackson” were to be homosexual.

 

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Adjusting and Accepting

My protegé shared a thought with me and in the form of a question:  “…for those of us who can handle multiple partners, genders, and sexual experiences – why wouldn’t we?”  While there’s some movement in areas like polyamory and some ebb and flow in the sexuality arena, to me, the answer to his question is simple.

The reason why we wouldn’t is that we don’t know how to.  Everything we’re taught, everything we wind up believing, steers us in a direction away from such behaviors; everything is to be boy/girl only and then monogamously.  At some point, some folks see the fallacy of sticking to this and that unless they can break away from the “standard pattern of behaviors,” their lives aren’t as fulfilling as they could be so they try to break out of the box and, in many cases, wind up falling flat on their faces; not because they don’t have the need or the desire to make such sweeping changes but because they just don’t know how to do it.

While the Internet has petabytes of information about sexuality and alternative relationships – some of it spot-on, some of it in the “you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me” zone – it’s just something we’re not educated on right out of the gate and to make matters worse for some, when you try to hold onto conventional and traditional standards while trying to make good your escape from the box, you’re pretty much setting yourself up to fail because, clearly, those conventional and traditional standard just don’t work when you’re trying to become unconventional and non-traditional in your pursuit of happiness.

It’s the thing that makes me say that in order to any of these things, you first have to unlearn everything you know about love,sex, and relationships so you can learn a new way to do these things and, once more, it’s not as easy as it sounds and becomes even harder because the information available to foster one’s re-education tends to be all over the place – every “authority” has their own idea of how best these box-breaking things should go.  Then, in lieu of some kind of “formal” education in these areas, there aren’t enough mentors to go around; if you’re looking for someone experienced in these things it seems as if you’d have better success finding that needle in a haystack.  Sure, there are plenty of life coaches, sexuality counselors, folks like that, and while I’d not say they’re not successful or competent enough to guide folks along whatever path they want to follow, more often than not, it’s like leading the proverbial horse to water… and you’re just not gonna be able to make him drink.

Or to keep the clichés going, it’s like Morpheus told Neo:  “I can show you the door… but you still have to go through it…”  Adjusting and accepting new dynamics doesn’t come easily at the individual level because the dynamics are way outside of what we consider to be right and moral and because they are, eh, I often feel that we spend more time worrying about what everyone else is gonna say about us than we do working on how we’re gonna do whatever we feel we need to do.  My protegé constantly talks to me about social acceptance of bisexuality and male bisexuality in particular and that if we just got our collective heads out of our asses about this, there would be more happy folks traipsing around than there are right now… but such a wholesale adjustment and acceptance will take a lot of time and we – humans – aren’t exactly fond of changes that might shove us our of our comfort zones and into the relatively unknown.  So many invoke NIMBY – not in my backyard – things like polyamorous relationships and bisexuality are all well and good – if it works for ya, good for you… just don’t expect me to get all into any of that stuff and you’d better not even think about bringing that mess to my front door.

Before we can hope and/or wish for society to be an early adopter of any new dynamic, we first have to be able to wrap our minds around them and do our best to see the good things a new personal dynamic has to offer instead of nitpicking our way through every conceivable pitfall that can be imagined – this would never work for me because (add more shit here than you can readily and easily think of).  Even when one can get past this, um, it would be nice to explore these new dynamics with like-minded folks, wouldn’t it?  Except there doesn’t seem to be a lot of people who are, in fact, like-minded!  Oh, they’re out there and for all you know, that like-minded person could very well be your next door neighbor or someone you work with, or you literally bumped into them during your daily travels/activities.  Because these new dynamics are way out of the box, eh, it’s better to keep one’s participation under one’s hat because even when you’re pretty damned sure you’re doing the right thing for yourself, there are, literally and obviously, billions of people who are gonna look at you with a very jaundiced eye for daring to buck the system and in whatever way you’ve chosen to do this.

Still, those who can handle multiple partners, genders, and sexual experiences do just that and if no one else likes or approves of what they’re doing, that’s their problem.  Those brave and intrepid folks say, “Just because you can’t or wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean that it can’t be done or that no one else would see the sense of doing it.”  Why are people bisexual?  Um, because they can and want to be.  Why are people polyamorous?  Ditto.  It’s what works for them and more so when, at least for people who are able to think in these terms, those conventional and traditional approaches just ain’t getting it done for them; they’re flawed, inefficient, stifling and more often than not create apathy and static, stagnant moments as people find themselves stuck in place and, seemingly, unable to get unstuck and move in a different direction and all because we’re taught to believe that there are no different directions other than the prescribed and mandated one.

Which, obviously, isn’t true and never has been.  My protegé asks, “Why wouldn’t we?” and another answer is, “Because we can be afraid to.”  You can believe me when I tell you that I know exactly how scary these things can be, not just because there are really so many things that can go wrong but things like peer feedback and reaction can be more than daunting.  In a lot of ways, we’re a society of hypocrites in that we say that everyone has the right to live their lives in the way that works best for them… as long as they strictly follow certain rules and adopt certain prescribed and mandated behaviors and any diversion from these “norms” will not be looked up favorably… and you can count on getting your head handed to you in some pretty inventive and, often,cruel ways.

My protegé’s question is relevant and, I think, quite valid… but adjusting and accepting changes in the dynamic are just not easy to do and it’s such a difficult thing to do for most that it’s deemed not to be worth the hassles.

 
 

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Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

------ Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

undermounted

I write when the choice is to die if I don't