From where I’m sitting, the most amazing thing about bisexual women isn’t that a lot of guys are very damned sure that they’re the most sensual creatures on the planet: It’s that they own that which makes them feel the way they need to be and more so in the face of centuries of slut shaming and being deemed to have less value than farm animals as well as their sole reason for existing is to be barefoot and pregnant and forever subservient to men.
I recall reading, lo these many years ago, something that suggested that women turned to each other for sex and emotional comfort to protect their eggs, a sentiment that very much played into what experts say about sperm being plentiful but eggs not so much. Another thing I read suggested that women got all into women because they needed a break from a man’s appetites for sex and those that tended to drift toward what was then called acts of sexual depravity – and whatever that meant; the writing, at the time, didn’t speak to what the author meant by that but I took it to mean that even as much as women might enjoy getting nailed by a man, well, yeah – why not be able to take a break from that brand of physicality and partake of a more… gentler kind.
Or, as one bisexual lady I knew said, “Sometimes you just get tired of some 200 pound guy laying on you and just mugging you and he’s thinking that it feels good to us; not that it doesn’t but, damn!”
Good point and one that, as a bi guy, I know all too well. At the time I read this, I thought that it made perfectly good sense that a woman would want to take such a break while keeping up with their need for sex and intimacy and as only another woman could provide it; the saying, “Only a woman knows what a woman needs…” also made a lot of sense in this context. The thing, I think, that makes bisexual women insane is that, um, they look incredibly sexual and sensual when they make love and, yep, it got men’s attention big time and to the point where they wanted to be a part of that action.
And a lot of bisexual women weren’t – and still aren’t – of a mind to let our overly horny asses in on the deal because what they do with other women is about them and is meant to be a girl thing so no men allowed. It’s not to say that some bisexual women aren’t open enough to enjoy both at the same sitting but if what I read was truly accurate – that women could have sex while protecting their eggs and it was a much-needed break from sex with men – well, of course keeping it a girl-only thing just makes sense to me.
They have to deal with similar shit that bi guys have to deal with and, primarily, being told that they’re man-hating lesbians and, here of late, they’re more like frauds who use the allure of the bisexual woman to get their hooks into men and, yeah, they’re still sluts and more so when it seems our society hasn’t grown past the view the Victorian Age had about women who just loved having sex – period. Those near-sighted people of that time had a pretty fucked up view about sex and continued that stupid notion that it was okay for men to be out and about sowing oats like there was no tomorrow but women weren’t supposed to so much.
Clearly, women had other ideas about that and when I was thinking about this late last night, I kinda laughed to myself to think back to those moments in history where those all-female “temples” that worshipped the ways of Sappho existed and said to myself, “Um, exactly what kind of worshipping did those people of the time thought was really being done?”
I was remembering a conversation I had with a guy who was totally and completely bent out of shape after learning that his woman was into women and his very Old Testament ranting and raving was, well, embarrassing as he went on and on about who she was supposed to be giving up the pussy to and all that garbage and when I could get a word in, I asked him if he ever considered that if she was getting busy with other women, um, for one, it might not have anything to do with him and it was simply her wanting to have a different kind of sex?
Of course, he didn’t think so and even has some unkind words for me because I was taking her side instead of agreeing with him. Well, I wasn’t going to do that because, for one, I don’t think like that and for something else, I was married to a bisexual woman and I knew a lot of bisexual women and, as such, I knew that they weren’t bisexual simply because they didn’t like sex with men – they were just being open about their desires for sex and other intimacies. Bisexual women have the great misfortune to be surrounded by a whole lot of very stupid people who are even more stupid about sex and intimacy and to the point where they get all pissy about it and shows a great lack of intelligence when they say they don’t understand why a woman would want to lie with another woman for sex…
Um, how about that shit feels good and in more ways than one? Or, how about the sure and certain fact that if they want to, they can – does that work for an explanation? Do you really believe that women can’t be attracted to other women and that those who are just might not be lesbians?
To that end, bisexual women catch the same kind of hell from lesbians that bi guys catch from gay men and here we go with the greedy, cheating, and unable to commit to one person due to confusion and denial shit that is so moronic that it stopped being funny a long time ago. It doesn’t surprise me that a lot of bisexual women hide the fact that they’re bisexual, not because they’re ashamed of being bisexual but who wants to have to listen to this bullshit in the first place?
Another guy at another time was talking about his suspicions that his wife was cheating on him and that she was using her girlfriends to help her cover up her sleeping with other men. The funny thing about this one is that I knew his wife because we’d gone to school with each other and we became good friends and I knew something about her that he obviously didn’t – she was very bisexual – but I wasn’t going to tell him that nor was I gonna put it out there that chances were good that if she was cheating on him, um, her girlfriends weren’t covering up for her because she was dallying with men… but she was probably having sex with those same girlfriends and I also knew that one of her long-time friends from school was just as bisexual as she was.
Here’s a thing about this that I still don’t think a lot of people are able to wrap their heads around: If a woman wants and needs the touch of another woman, there’s nothing a man can do for her because he’s not suitably equipped to take care of that need and I mean both physically and emotionally. You can throw all the dick at her that you can or, yeah, that she might want but if she wants pussy, dude – you don’t have one and you obviously don’t have that depth of emotional connection and intimacy that only women can bring to the table or, the bedroom.
And is it really all that unusual that women want to be sexually liberated, too? Is it really that far-fetched that some women decide that living by “dick alone” just ain’t working for them? Apparently – and sadly – that’s what a lot of people think. I’ve even heard women say that there ain’t a damned thing another woman can do for them… until they find out that there is. In this, women aren’t all that different from men in that they’re stuck in that place where sex is only supposed to be boy/girl only and, well, if ya didn’t know that this was never true, you know it now.
The way it’s supposed to be has never been the way it can really be and what strikes me as being funny is that we have almost always been okay with women being bisexual even when we’re currently in the process of saying that bisexuality isn’t real. We’re even all NIMBY – not in my back yard – about bisexual women; they’re okay and all that… as long as it isn’t our woman or any woman who’s close to us.
Also here of late, I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff where women are once again standing up for their right to be the way they want and need to be. The first iteration was lesbians standing up for their right to be lesbians and now bisexual women are standing up for their right to be bisexual. Not because they hate men or some other stupid shit like that but because it’s just them continuing to stand up for their right to be sexual – period. And if they want and enjoy both, well, do they not have the right to pursue this? I think they do… but many just do not and, yeah, bisexual women in a relationship have learned that the worst thing to be is bisexual and in a relationship… and with someone who clings to some pretty archaic ideas about both things.
Why would a woman cheat on a guy with another woman? I maintain that whenever someone’s needs are being ignored and left unfulfilled, you’re leaving them to their own devices and rather than to walk away from what is, outside of this, a good relationship, taking the action to get what they need is warranted and no matter what the rules say about this.
I even remember a guy asking me what I’d do if my lady told me she wanted to sleep with other women… and I remember that look he got on his face when I said, “I’d let her because I’d rather be with someone who’s happy than to be with someone who is very miserable because she needs something that I can’t give her because, duh, my man, I’m not a woman.”
More bullshit about giving her permission wasn’t the way shit is supposed to be and all I said to him was, “Well, isn’t it your job to make and keep your woman happy? And if you think that dick is the only thing that can make her happy, well, I don’t know why you’d even think that to begin with…” That wasn’t exactly accurate because I do know why he and other guys would think that because if there’s nothing else that we fear, we are seriously afraid that someone is going to come along and do her in a way that’s a lot more satisfying that we are able to do her… and the worst case in this is that the person who just might ring her bell the most could very well be another woman.
A lot of men also don’t seem to understand that if a woman, even our own, wants to be with another woman, it’s not always because we suck at being able to please them or they don’t like sex with us… it’s just that they’ve learned or otherwise have figured out that dick isn’t the only path to their sexual and emotional satisfaction. Bisexual women, and just like bisexual men do, totally debunk and disprove all notions of attraction and as generally accepted. Women do, can be, and are attracted to other women and if that attraction indicates that they should get together and explore each other sexually, well, it’s just what the doctor ordered, ain’t it?
I just think and believe that instead of raking bisexual women over the coals and all that very prudish nonsense, we should just accept that for them, it just is what it has always been and in a relationship mode, well, would you rather live with a happy woman… or one who is miserable as all get out and one who will find reason to make you even more miserable than she is? I know which thing I’d rather do…
Now, to any or all bisexual women who are reading this, yeah: What you do with other women is horribly hot to some of us and, yeah, some of us feel some kind of way (that isn’t good) that y’all can have sex with each other and better than we can do it and for someone who has been privileged and even lucky to be present when women are making love to each other, I can tell you that I’ve felt a lot of envy and a great deal of feeling… inadequate but, sure – how can one not find that exciting? I get that some women just hate the fact that guys do find it exciting and that because we do, we will hoist them up on the highest pedestal we can create and “bow down” and “worship” their glory because, again, wow. Just fucking wow. And wow to the point where I’ve been known to take notes and I’m not joking about that.
That whole “let’s have a threesome” thing? Biggest mistake ever to come out of a guy’s mouth and more so when bisexual women – and like a lot of women – do believe that sex is only supposed to be one-on-one and three’s not only a crowd but a complication they don’t wanna be bothered with. It’s not that threesomes don’t happen because sometimes, a bisexual woman is of a mind that, um, bringing some dick to the party just works since, ah, they do happen to like both after all… but I’ve felt that this is more the exception than the rule and a lot of guys with a bisexual woman do get pretty pissed off that it’s not very damned likely they’re gonna get an invite to even watch, let alone participate.
It just is what it is. I know that the best way to get on a bisexual woman’s bad side is to mention “threesome.” Ooh. Huge mistake. If they weren’t already feeling some kind of objectified because they’re bisexual, well, fella, you ain’t helping her feel better about that and, again to the women who do feel that their bisexuality subjects them to a great deal of objectification? I’m sorry to say this – and I really am – but y’all make having sex look very damned good and I happen to know that y’all are better at a few aspects of it that men, well, we just ain’t all that good at. Again, I can admit to be envious; I can admit to feeling inadequate but the one thing I will never do is to give any bisexual woman a raft of shit because she’s bisexual and doing what she needs to do to be the complete person she needs to be.
Never. And I sure as hell love the fact that more and more bisexual women are standing up for their right to be as sexually liberated as anyone else can be and more so when they do have the right to have sex with anyone they want to and all the rules that say they aren’t supposed to and can’t are pure and unadulterated bullshit. I know that if they wanna be bisexual, there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent it and if they want to be bisexual, they will do so… and by any means necessary and more so when this is about them and it is their life, after all. And, yeah, because I’m bisexual, I most definitely am on their side 100%.
If no other guy does, I see the commonality I have with bisexual women: We both know pretty much the same things about men and women and, you betcha, pussy and dick. The commonality is something we should be celebrating… but the sad part is that we don’t and by not celebrating the things we have in common, all we’re doing is making that gap between men and women even wider than it already is – and it’s always been one seriously huge void between us but one that, I think, bisexuality can do a little something about.
Bisexual women are, hands down, amazing… but not for the reason a lot of people think or, well, honestly, not the only reason. Hot, sexy, and sensual beyond belief? Oh, hell, yeah they are but that’s not the only thing that makes them so amazing but the fact that they’re being more liberated – and in a great many ways that have nothing to do with sex – is what makes them so amazing. They want to be able to get what they want when they want to get it and if what they want is other women, well, why the hell not? And if there are those who are hating on them because of this, well, all they can do is hate on them because these days, a lot of women are ignoring the haters and those still living in the dark ages so they can be the way they want and need to be:
Bisexual and happily so.