Again, I don’t usually participate but decided to chime in on this one! So, now, the questions and answers!
1. You unexpectedly had sex with your friend’s partner. You feel guilty. Your friend’s partner keeps texting you begging you not to say anything about the two of you having sex. Would you tell your friend or keep mum?
Oh, this is a good one! The thing about this is that I wouldn’t feel guilty at all even though I am very aware of the Friend Code while being a staunch believer in consenting adults being able to consent. Okay, would I tell my friend that I bonked his lady and she’s begging me not to say anything? Tough one because The Code requires me to tell him but I also have an… obligation to not say anything and as she’s asking me. What makes me “sleep better” about this situation is that if he asked me if bonked her – and I would know that the only reason why he’s asking is because he’s pretty sure I did, I wouldn’t lie to him. Why didn’t I tell him right after it happened? Because she asked me not to.
Yeah, this is pretty messy, huh? I would rather he take his anger out on me (and good luck with that one) than to take it out on her and no matter which one of us “set the stage” for this happening. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen but I know the reality: They do happen and saying no, sometimes, really isn’t “an option” in that sense. Yeah, we all know what The Code says but I learned to understand and believe that reality can trump The Code. Sometimes, shit happens when it’s “not supposed” to happen.
I’ve always believed in accepting the consequences of your actions and in this situation, I would accept them. Some fucked up shit but also some real-life shit.
2. How often would you like to spend time away from your significant other?
a. once a week
b. once a month
c. never, we like to be together all the time
Well, technically, I spend time away from her every day so I can watch the TV shows I like to watch and to play on my Xbox. We enjoy each other’s company but we don’t require being stuck under each other all of the time, either.
3. Do you think couples should argue regularly for a happy relationship or marriage?
Argue? No. Having civil conversations about stuff? Yup. Still, it’s been said that having an argument with your partner is good for the relationship and because things that need to be said gets said even though things can get heated and ugly and, hopefully, doesn’t get violent. The rule is… never go to bed angry with each other. If you have to argue, try to be civil because once you say something, there’s no taking it back.
4. What causes you to feel insecure in a relationship?
I’m too damned old to be feeling insecure and I learned some lessons about this early on in my life and made it my mission to not be insecure and especially over anything I can’t do anything about. Insecurity can wreck a relationship; it can cause toxicity in a relationship and where’s the fun in that?
Bonus: If you were asked, “Why do you keep meeting the wrong people on dating apps?” what would you respond?
Well, hmm, that would depend on who thought I was meeting the wrong people and their definition of “wrong.” Dating apps are a clusterfuck of a minefield and to the point where finding genuine people who meet your requirements is pretty difficult but not impossible. Dating has always been on a trial-and-error basis and, as such, some people aren’t “the right one” and the one fallacy in dating is that someone might start out being absolutely wonderful and we expect them to keep being that way and, I think, we fail to consider that people do change, and that wonderful person can turn out to be the wrong person.
“Wrong” is pretty subjective. Your idea of the wrong person might not be my idea of the wrong person. Now, do some people just… suck at this? Yep. If it wasn’t for bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck at all. If dating was easy, everyone could do it and be happy and never have to date anyone else again for the rest of their life, right? For myself, you aren’t the wrong person until you prove yourself to be.