It seems that I’ve received a nomination for the Sensual Blogger Award… and it seems that Nate has upped the ante the second time around (another great song by a legendary singer) with his awards.
So, first we thank Nate for his kindness and for the honor being deemed as sensual! I know some folks probably think such awards are just bullshit but I don’t think that they are – it says something positive about your blog in that with all the blogs on WordPress, someone thinks your blog is the shit.
The award is now on my blog so now to answer the seven questions Nate asked.
* You are tasked with creating a sex toy, what is that sex toy (be original)? It would be a rig that would apply stimulation to a woman’s breasts, her whole coochie, and her back door all at the same time and I’d call it “The Experience” – keep plenty of batteries on-hand for this one.
* One alien that you would have sex with? I love science fiction… and I can’t think of a single alien I’d have sex with! Well, Orion slave-girls from “Star Trek” would work or maybe a Deltan…
* Sexual position that you would like renamed and why? The missionary position has to go! It just sounds so parochial and prudish and even though it’s a nice way to hit that thang, it should be named something else so it doesn’t remind us of those days when we just had sex to have children and because some religious representative said so.
* What would you do to improve the impression of sex writers that most people have? I’d probably go on a campaign (or a rampage, take your pick) to remind those with delicate sensibilities that just because we write about sex in many forms, our writings don’t necessarily reflect our personal views – we’re all not perverts just because we write like that (well, I am but that’s different ’cause I’m a certified Dirty Old Man).
* A place that you would have sex in/at if everything worked out? The Oval Office.
* The one piece of sexual advice that you would like on your tombstone for all to see? “Always lick it good before you lay the wood…”
* The top five items off of your sexual bucket list? I don’t have one and I came to that conclusion after reading someone else’s blog about their sexual bucket list; I asked myself if there was anything I’d want to do before shuffling off the mortal coil and nothing came to mind except just to have more sex before I go and while I still can.
* Bonus Question: I am in the mood for a single paragraph of erotica: can you craft a paragraph with the following prompts: a lusty lass, a broken down van, a hippie with a lisp, and police officer.
The stranger with the lisp had picked Chrissy up just moments before his dilapidated van gave up the ghost and the thought of being broken down on the side of the road with him was terrifying, which only increased the degree of horniness she experienced when she first laid eyes on him. Now the interior of the van was hot and humid, so much that not only did the windows fog over despite the warmth outside, but it was actually raining on her as the man with the speech impediment first ate her into several astonishing orgasms and then offered up his surprisingly long, thick member for her to taste, which she did so greedily, blocking out the misshapen words of praise he uttered as she took him as deeply as she could, gagging on his manhood but accepting the discomfort knowing that very soon, he’d be inside her, using his massive hose to put out the fires within her… and as his swollen knob passed into her tight wetness, Chrissy could see, over the rising and falling of the man’s muscular ass, a police officer staring intently through the back window of the van, the officer’s eyes locked onto hers as he worked his hand on his member, which sprang to life once he stopped to investigate why the van was on the side of the road with the windows all fogged up and swaying on its springs…
Okay, um, that probably could have been better but…
I’m going to nominate:
Pervertically Virtuous (http://perverticallyvirtuous.wordpress.com)
Naughty Novellas (http://naughtynovellas.wordpress.com)
Erotica Everywhere (http://eroticaeverywhere.com)
Mischief Kitten (http://mischiefkitten.wordpress.com)
Haven of Thought (http://havenofthought.wordpress.com)
Filled and Fooled (http://filledandfooled.wordpress.com)
Seven questions that they or anyone else can answer:
* Name the one thing you’ve done that you’ve said you’d never do.
* You learn that your partner has a lover and they’ve brought their lover home to meet you – and it’s your lover; what do you say or do?
* If you could go back and reinvent your sex life, would you?
* What does being sensual mean to you?
* What food or fruit just oozes sensuality?
* Less filling or tastes great?
* Are we having fun yet?
Jeez, it has never taken me eight hours to write a blog…