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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Time to Rant and Riff

Before I went to bed, I was reading an email my newest friend (who continues to remain nameless since I’ve not asked his permission to name him) and, wow, this dude has really got his head in the right place about his bisexuality.  During his engaging discourse, he said the “P” word when saying a few things about how he had been holding on to his heterosexuality while, in essence, kinda/sorta denying his bisexuality.  I said some things to him about that but as I finished going through my emails this morning, his email popped back into my head and my thoughts focused on his use of the “P” word.

Privilege:  “A special right, advantage or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.”  There are many who accuse bisexuals of having some kind of “straight privilege” and seeing my friend use the word in this context got me to wondering just who in our society granted us a privilege to do or be something that, as bisexuals, we tend to do by default, i.e., be heterosexual?  I’ve always felt that anyone who feels that our heterosexual side is some unearned or undeserved perk just really doesn’t understand a damned thing about bisexuals and, yes, I will once again point out that the group of people who has saying this shit the loudest are those people who have more problems living in a heterosexual world than bisexuals do.

I had all of this running through my head and I was fuming; I thought, “Those motherfuckers are just pissed because we can do something that they can’t; they have never been pleased about the fact that we can “get away” with something that they themselves have had so much trouble trying to pull off, just like they’ve been the ones living in the most fear regarding their sexuality that they only place they could try to hide was, in fact, in the heterosexual world even though they weren’t all that happy about having to be straight-acting…”

The fact that they even dare to assume that we – bisexuals – have some privilege continues to tell me that they’re among a group of people who, for reasons only God may know, continue to believe that people are either just straight or just homosexual, that someone couldn’t actually be both in some form or another, and that someone could never change their mind and make a decision (and you can damned well read that as meaning a choice) to shuck off their “current” sexual orientation and be bisexual… and simply because it suits their purposes in life to be bisexual.  It presumes, and incorrectly so, I might add, that someone who has lived their life with either same or opposite sex attractions just couldn’t possibly find a reason to develop attractions to the same and opposite sex in tandem… and since these folks have such a narrow view of the way things really work when it comes to humans, bisexuals are being accused of faking the funk and taking advantage of the “privilege” of heterosexuality which also incorrectly presumes that bisexuals are really homosexuals who don’t want anyone to know they’re really homosexuals.

Really?  I mean, really fucking really?  We – society – get our tits in a bunch about human rights and understandably, justifiably so given that so many people in the world continue to have their rights as a human being suppressed and just flat-out stomped on and the biggest one is our God-given right to live our individual lives as we see fit and without persecution.  If you believe this to be true, then bisexuals have that same God-given right to be both heterosexual and homosexual as they see the need to be… except we also live in a “majority-ruled society” that also believes that everyone has to be heterosexual and if you aren’t, well, your right to live your life the best way you can is null and void… and you only have to look at the way homosexuals have been treated to see and understand this.

I guess that there are some folks who just feel they have to invoke “misery loves company” because they’ve historically had so much trouble living in a predominantly heterosexual world and since this has been a pain in their collective asses for so long (figuratively speaking, of course), they find reason to want to drag bisexuals down right along with them and, oh, yeah, if they can also take a few transgender folks with them, so much the better.  They just can’t deal with the fact that someone like me is not only heterosexual and homosexual but one of my other default behaviors is being heterosexual and, oh, yeah, being heterosexual by default is a choice I made because it suits my purposes as I go about the pursuit of happiness and exercising my God-given right to live my life.  How fucking hard is it to understand this?  How damned difficult is it to accept this?  If those people – and they know who the fuck they are – think we have some kind of privilege that keeps us from being persecuted for our orientation, then why don’t they stop moaning and whining about what we naturally have and focus their thoughts on getting to where we, as bisexuals, have always been?

Oh, yeah, that’s right – that’s exactly what they’ve been doing for as long as I can remember, haven’t they… and it wasn’t until now that they’ve made any real progress toward that end but, comparatively speaking and with an eye on the grand scheme of things, nah, they’ve not really gotten as far as they’d like in their goal – nay, their need – to be treated just like everyone else which, unfortunately for them, is a problem that bisexuals have never had; we don’t have that problem because, again, for many of us, our default behavior is to be heterosexual… but we are far from being monosexual and, yeah, I can see how that can just stick in their collective craws.  By comparison, affirmative action was a privilege granted to minority groups because of the unfair treatment of said minorities and, yep, AA pissed a lot of people off – it still does and to the point where “charges” of reverse-discrimination abound due to this special right that was granted so long ago.  This was – is – some very messy shit; AA was enacted because minorities were being denied the equal rights granted to all Americans under the Constitution – it was supposed to right a long-standing wrong and, yep, even I took advantage of that special right so I could get on my feet and take care of myself and my family.

What does that have to do with anything?  Well, if you think about it – if you care to think about it – you can maybe see the word “privilege” in action and, perhaps, begin to understand that sexuality – and how we go about being straight, bi, or gay, isn’t a privilege; even if it cannot be agreed upon that our right to be whatever sexuality suits our purposes is a God-given right, as Americans, we do have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Even though we are guaranteed equality under the law, we also know that, um, we don’t give a fuck about the law, do we, because we continue to treat each other unequally all up and down the line and so, in a way, I can see and understand why there are some people out there who think that I, as a bisexual, have some privilege to be treated as a heterosexual even when I know I’m not… but it’s not a privilege, not by definition; I’m just able to exercise my “equal rights” better than someone who can’t because of our natural tendency to hate that which is different from us.

To those who still want to believe that we have some kind of privilege, I have this to say:  Don’t hate the player, hate the game; stop accusing us for having something that, in truth, we never had and, by all means, get your asses off your back because you think we have something that you want and you wanna believe we don’t deserve it and more so since you’re still having a hard time getting to where bisexuals have always been and, please, stop making your problems with this our problems.  Bisexuals have enough shit fucking with their heads without have this so-called straight privilege charge being levied on us, okay?  There are heterosexuals out there who are pitching a bitch about your so-called gay privilege, raising all kinds of hell because you are being granted rights that they don’t believe you’re entitled to since homosexuals are such soulless, godless, creatures; they feel that you are trampling on their right to be heterosexual as well as their right to believe that being heterosexual is the only true way to believe.  And I get it that this just fucks with you and, for a lot of you – and given my age and all that – I knew you were being fucked with about this before some of you were even born so you were always fighting an uphill battle… but that’s what happens when you show your face and paint a target upon yourselves – you get shot at and you will continue to be shot at until you are totally and utterly destroyed.

Unlike you folks – and, again, you know who you are – we are not hiding to avoid persecution, not like homosexuals have been persecuted.  You choose to be homosexual – and that is your right, in my opinion, but we choose to be bisexual and just the nature of what we are gives us a choice that you don’t have – we can be straight or gay as we see fit and if we choose to be more straight than gay, well, what’s the problem?  We’re just doing what we’ve always been able to do and, really, if we are hiding from anything, we’re staying under the radar so we won’t be mistaken for homosexuals and become subject to the same persecution you are bravely, valiantly, trying to get away from.

There is no straight privilege for us; we can’t be accused of “acting straight” because we are, in fact and in deed, straight… when we want and need to be… and homosexual, too.  You wanna fuck with us about this nonsense but what about all the homosexuals who have been acting straight and because they are trying to escape to escape persecution.  Fuck no… we’re not guilty of having that straight privilege… but some homosexuals are guilty of it, aren’t they?  What… y’all don’t wanna talk about that?  Why not?  Don’t get me wrong, I really do get why there are straight-acting gays; as far as society is concerned, you’re prey to be hunted and eradicated, terminated with extreme prejudice… but don’t you fucking dare accuse us of doing something “dishonest” when you’re the ones who, even by necessity, have been dishonest about your true identities in the sexuality world.

There is no fucking “straight privilege” we’re taking advantage of; you’re just miffed because we can do something you can’t do.  If you feel that we have some kind of privilege at work here in being straight, do we also have a “gay privilege” as well?  Can you point the finger at us for faking our homosexuality as easily as you point the finger at us for faking our heterosexuality?  Are we really faking any funk here… or are we, in fact, just doing what’s natural for us to do?  We have something you desperately want and need and, again, even I understand why you’ve been fighting this war for as long as you’ve been fighting it… but while I don’t know and cannot speak for other or all bisexuals, I am one – and likely one of many – bisexuals who fervently wish you’d stop trying to drag us into your war with heterosexuality; just stop fucking with us about this, will you?  Like I said, we have enough issues being bisexual so we sure the fuck don’t need any more shit piled onto us… and it ain’t even some shit of our own making.  Believe it or not, a lot of bisexuals – and this one included – are on your side as you fight for your rights to be treated equally; by some of y’all going out of your way to alienate us, well, you’re not helping your cause a whole lot, are you?

I just had the insane thought that if those folks – you fucking know who you are – feel that we have some kind of privilege, well, there’s a way you can have that same “privilege” you think we have:  Become bisexual!  But, ah, you’re not gonna do that, are you, and you won’t because – wait for it – you do have the right to be homosexual because it’s how you choose to live your lives that way and, at least here in the United States of America, that you have that right is, in and of itself, a privilege and one that cannot be easily had anywhere else in the world.

Thus endeth the rant…

 
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Posted by on 24 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Erase Me If You Can

Before I get into some more packing so we can get ready to move, I gotta say something about a blog I just read where the author opined that bisexuals have some kind of issue over being invisible and the blog included some YouTube videos that, I guess, address this so-called “problem” we have… and it made me roll my eyes heavenward and ask for some divine intervention to help these poor people who think that with their narrow worldview they can make bisexuals disappear as if we never existed.

Bisexuals are non-conformists; we don’t subscribe to being straight or gay which I suppose really upsets the current mindset about such things.  On the one hand, I’m glad that society has finally accepted that not everyone is straight and doesn’t want to be – it takes some of the pressure off of gay folks and this shows that, on the whole, we’ve become a bit more enlightened and we’re beginning to look at human sexuality in a non-prudish kind of way… except to keep insisting that we’re invisible or that we can’t exist is still, in my opinion, sheer lunacy.

I get that I’m probably older than a lot of the people making these assumptions and that I’ve probably been bisexual longer than some of them have been alive… and maybe even before their parents were born; it allows me – and since my eternal curiosity about being bisexual is responsible – to see bisexuality in ways that, perhaps, they cannot see in this period of time.  Like, I know there are bisexuals who prefer to remain hidden so that (a) they don’t get confused with being gay and (b) they don’t wind up pissing off a lot of people they’d rather not have angry with them.  So because I know this, that some bisexuals are invisible to society doesn’t surprise me; again, we’ve sat back in the cut and watched gay folks get their heads handed to them too many times for some of us to want to give up our invisibility or, really, to stop hiding in plain sight.

As far as I know, no one has been able to back up their claims that bisexuals don’t exist.  I mean, you can tell me this… but where’s your proof?  I know that I can prove that I’m bisexual although I seriously doubt that there are that many people who would be thrilled to see it, if ya know what I mean.  I’ve said it before:  If you want proof that I’m bi, let’s get some people together, men and women, and I’ll be happy to prove it to you since, for some reason, you’re not willing to take my word for it.

If you fucking think you can erase me, go for it; I’m pretty fucking sure that it cannot be done unless you try to assassinate me and even then, you might “erase” me but I’m not the only bisexual on the whole fucking planet, am I?  Y’all haters are gonna put out there that we’re concerned about our lack of visibility?  That’s bullshit to the nth degree and until the societies all over the planet learn to get their collective heads out of their collective asses about sexuality, visibility isn’t a concern.  Y’all know that I don’t give a fuck that you know I’m bisexual but not every bisexual is like me; it is what it is for me, I’m not ever gonna change it, and if you don’t like it, all you can do is not like it… but acting as if I don’t and can’t exist or that I have issues with my sexuality that I’ve never experienced isn’t ever going to do a damn thing except to get me writing about this craziness.

And all of this is because we don’t want to conform to the status quo, to be just straight or just gay?  We know – and because it’s been reported on so much – that the LGBTQ (or what-the-fuck-ever) community has some folks in their ranks that are spearheading the smear campaign against bisexuals but, in my experiences, that’s not all that unusual; I’ve had quite a few arguments with gay folks about being bisexual before any of this current shit came into existence… but in those arguments, none of my opponents ever suggested that I didn’t exist.  They’d argue that I’m really confused, in denial, the usual bullshit but, no, they never said that bisexuality never existed or accused us of being straight-acting which, by the way, is something they’ve been found guilty of and, again before any of this current shit came to be… and some of them are still straight-acting because, yeah, they know like bisexuals know:  Being seen as gay can be detrimental to your health in many ways.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black…  The real question is:  When will this insanity end?  If science says we exist and there are bisexuals such as myself practically yelling and waving and saying that here we are – what’s the problem? – why is it that this evidence cannot be accepted?  My thought – and I commented on this on the blog I mentioned – is that the people who want to erase us or otherwise say we can’t and don’t exist actually don’t want us to exist… because we upset their view of life and the world at large by not being straight… but not being gay, either.  As a single bisexual, I don’t know what I can say or how many pussies I have to play with and how many cocks I have to suck in order to provide conclusive evidence that we exist, that we’ve always existed, and that we will continue to exist until, I guess, humans are wiped from the face of the planet.

And the fact that we do bothers the shit out of them.

Do we all have to step into the light and come out?  That would probably make someone really happy, even if it’s under the “know your enemy” doctrine.  But we don’t have to come out if we don’t want to and especially if coming out is going to be a detriment to us; like I said before, we’ve seen how unhealthy this can be thanks to all the gays who’ve gotten their asses kicked – literally and figuratively – for stepping into the open.  If it makes sense for us to come out and we feel that we’d be safe if we did, then we come out, either to everyone or to those select people… but if it doesn’t make sense and we’re not gonna feel safe, nope, uh-uh:  Ain’t gonna happen.

Globally, I can’t speak on how bisexuality is being accepted although I know that in some cultures, homosexuality can get you killed just on general principles.  Some things I’ve read from bisexuals in the UK indicate that at least in Europe, that society is behaving a lot better than our society here in the States which, again, I’ll point out is something that’s made us the laughing-stock of the world because of our prudish, immature, and childish behaviors when it comes to sex and things sexual… and that’s always pissed me off because as an American, I’d like to think that we’re better than that… but apparently not so much if people are running around believing that bisexuals don’t exist or that we’re in the midst of some social dilemma that we have to overcome.

And maybe, with all this dumb shit flying around, this is something that they’ve made into our problem to deal with and because they feel that we have to deal with it… and I say, now and forever more, fuck them.  Life’s complicated enough without a bunch of people wanting to make it even harder than it has to be.  Finally, here’s a question I’d love for our detractors to answer, if they can or even dare to:  If I’m not straight and I’m not gay but I like pussy and dick – men and women – what am I?

Erase me if you can.  I dare you.

 
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Posted by on 5 August 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Give Us a Fucking Break, Will Ya?

Bisexual Erasure – As Explained by Two Lesbians

I ran across this blog yesterday, which contains a video with two lesbians explaining why people don’t think bisexuals are real.  It’s been ‘festering’ inside my head and, well, I can’t begin to imagine what two lesbians would know about bisexuals seeing as how they’re not bisexual.  Okay, I understand that people can know a bisexual, can read all the shit that’s available about bisexuals and all of that… but here’s something that, I don’t know, seems to be kinda fucking obvious:  If you know a bisexual, have read the shit about bisexuals, then bisexuals are real – when are people gonna get this very obvious fact through their thick skulls?

I don’t personally care about some bunch of idiots trying to “prove” that I, as a bisexual, don’t exist; I know that I do and that I have for a long time.  I am concerned about other bisexuals, those folks who haven’t been around as long as I have and/or are new to being bisexual having to deal with this utter nonsense because it’s bad enough for some people have to fight with themselves about their feelings and thoughts about being bisexual – or may be being bi – but then they have to contend with this stupidity?

This is the kind of shit that should be summarily ignored but, at the same time, someone – or a bunch of someones – has to speak out against this lunacy and, if possible, try to get to the root of the problem and it seems to me, given all that I’ve been reading about this lately, that right at the root of this manic behavior are gay folks and, no, not all of them – let’s get that said and out of the way right up front.  It makes me wonder what faction of straight people are involved in this or if they even really and seriously give a fuck whether or not bisexuals are real.  Gays, on the other hand, seem to have a reason to bitch about our lack of visibility and, I will say stupidly, believe that if we – bisexuals – aren’t all out in the open like gays are, then we don’t exist.

Give us a fucking break, will ya?  Can you not get it through your head that there are a lot of us who don’t want to be all up in the public eye, that we’re happy being behind the scenes and that some of us have good reason to keep our sexuality under wraps?  Huh?  Why hate on us because we don’t have to go through the bullshit that gays have been putting up with for as long as I can remember?  You don’t like the fact that we can be both straight and gay and most of us chose to be straight right up until it’s time for us to do some gay stuff? Too fucking bad – get over it, will ya?  You want us to pick a side just because you don’t have another side to choose from?  That’s not our fault or problem – that’s the fucking decision you made for yourself and it’s also not our fault if you’re so narrow-minded and – yeah, I’m gonna say it – so damned ignorant that you cannot perceive there’s something between straight and gay… or that you’re so blind and perhaps even naive that you cannot even see the obvious – I’m sure that Stevie Wonder could see it.

I keep saying over and over:  Your problems are not our problems.  Sure, we have our own unique set of problem because we’re bisexual but visibility ain’t one of them; we don’t have to fight for our rights like gays have had to do and, no, it’s not as if all bisexuals are ignorant of what gays have been fighting for and some of us even sympathize with their cause, which has been making progress… but that’s still your fight because the only people who treat me differently because I’m bisexual are those people who don’t like the fact that I’m bisexual.  And, yeah, you bet your ass, this bisexual is thinking that we’re being hated on because we don’t have all that grief and that misery does, in fact, love company.

The haters need a reality check; they also need to be aware of what people will see about them as they continue to spew and spread biphobia – and none of it is good.  Your lack of intelligence and even common sense are showing and they’re pretty threadbare and, seriously, if there’s a faction of the gay community spreading this hatred, all you’re really doing is giving people a reason to keep on not liking you… and you should know, should have learned from history, that if you keep heaping prejudice onto someone, they will eventually reach a breaking point and then the shit’s gonna get very ugly… and history has also proven that this doesn’t always turn out very well.

I don’t know what the fuck these people are thinking about or why they’re even thinking about it; if there is a legit reason, I haven’t seen it yet so at least to me, this is some petty and childish bullshit being thrown our way and for no apparent reason other than a dislike of the fact that we exist and do so without having to deal with all that anti-gay shit.   I know a little something about being subjected to prejudice, to be seen as being less than someone who has lighter skin than I do and that’s a motherfucker to have to had lived through… and now this bullshit.

Give us a fucking break, will ya?

 
22 Comments

Posted by on 1 August 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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