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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Summer Heat

I love summer. The heat. The laziness of it. Well, ah, the younger version of myself loved it even more than I do now. No school until September, looking forward to going to summer camp somewhere along the line and daily moments of… boys being boys.

There was always something to do on those hot summer days, from hiking along the creek to scrounging up enough bottles to get the refund for them so we could go swimming which, come to think about it, never really gave much relief from the heat but it was better than sweating… almost… because summer meant there were plenty of days where sweating was the thing you wanted to do when boys were being boys.

I think about those summer days and how many times we’d get together – as a group or one-on-one to hang out and go through the whole list of things we could do for fun… or to get in trouble – and there was always that sense that we were just putting those things out there and paying lip service to them so we could do what we really wanted to do.

Have sex with each other. Summer was perfect for it since we’d all get tossed outside and pretty much left to our own devices and since we rarely left our neighborhood – unless we were going to the creek or swimming and that called for letting our parents know where we were going – we could vanish for hours, giving us more than enough time to do the things boys weren’t supposed to do to and with each other.

Then there were the days when there was just nothing else to do; too hot to be running around, no bottles to collect to go swimming and just being outside was… boring as anything could get… except, hmm, there was one thing that could be done and provided you could find someone who was just as bored as you were.

One of the things those summer days taught me was that when you leave guys to their own devices, there’s no telling what might happen or what gets thought about or even being in one of those “weird” moments where one or both guys just somehow know what they should do; now, whether it comes up or just goes unaddressed is something else but in the summer days of my youth? No question about what had to be done and the only thing standing in the way was waiting for someone to ask, “What do you wanna do?”

It was funny in that we’d go through this process even though we knew exactly what we wanted to do… even if there was, in fact, something else to be done. People chalk all of this up to experimentation but as I mentioned a while back, it was more like exploration. Not just exploring sex itself but exploring it in a way that was very taboo and forbidden. I’d even go as far to say that the first time a guy did this, that was the experiment and if he felt it was a success, then the exploration would begin in earnest.

And summertime provided many chances to explore. Going away to summer camp? Just a greater opportunity to explore as guys from all over the area came together to do summer camp stuff – and to get us out of our parents’ hair for a time – but even in this environment where there was always something to do, there were still those times when boys being boys was the thing to do… and because we could. We’d want to. Maybe to dispel the belief that we – and in our local group of male friends – weren’t the only ones deep into this kind of exploration. Always exciting and promising to hear some kid you just met ask The Question: Have you ever done it with another boy?

And, most of the time, if the answer was no, well, chances were very good that you were gonna find out what it was like to do it with another boy… and I stopped being surprised by the number of guys who hadn’t done it yet, were actually afraid to do it, but would be more than eager to do it anyway. Even that environment was ripe for exploration and more so since, at least at the camp I went to, the showers were just like those in school so there was always that exposure to naked male bodies and, yeah, guys looking while trying not to look; you could even tell the guys who were eager to do it from those who weren’t because the ones who didn’t would set world records for showering and hauling ass out of there… and the guys who did would, ah, take their own sweet time showering to both enjoy the view… and hope that maybe something would happen.

And sometimes it did; a lot of dicks got sucked in the shower and some asses would get fucked since, you know, soap is pretty slippery and all that. The risk of a counselor barging in and asking why we were taking so long to shower was always present but it was worth it and, honestly? I think the counselors knew and maybe even expected it and, just like at home, “allowed” it… as long as you didn’t get caught doing anything… and I can only remember maybe one or two times when some guys got caught and even then, instead of being shipped back home and ratted out to parents, they just got a stern lecture and warned to never do that again.

But they knew that, yeah, it was gonna happen again anyway.

You grow up and summertime takes on new meanings with fewer chances to explore and indulge in such sinful behavior… but it’s still a good time of the year for boys to be boys even when they become men. The days are hot… and our blood and lust runs hotter and there’s no denying it and more so if you were a guy who, when younger, loved the hot, summer days where dicks would get sucked and finished or wind up in someone’s backside to finish that way. Or just to sit side by side and jerk each other off and do some oohing and ahhing to see fresh, young sperm spitting into the air and creating sticky puddles wherever it landed.

Knowing it was naughty. Forbidden. Just so unspeakable in so many ways… but so much fun to partake in. Being very aware of the risk of getting caught in the act and pretty much not giving a damn about it. Maybe the guys who shied away from the exploration were missing out on something… important and even vital – and maybe, ah, maybe they were the smart ones not to get hooked on the forbidden pleasures to be found and had with another guy’s prick and the indescribable joy found in getting him to spill his seed in your mouth, ass, and sometimes both… while having the sure knowledge that you were gonna get to spill your own seed with him or, really, any guy who wanted to do it.

Some even say this is a sort of rite of passage and despite the forbidden nature of it and that it prepares us for sex and intimacy with women – well, at least the basics of it. And while this could and would be a year-round endeavor, summertime was… perfect for it and at least where I lived and among the guys I hung out with, we couldn’t wait for school to let out for the summer so that the “real lessons” could begin.

Hot. Sultry. The unrelenting heat… and I’m not talking about just the weather. Sometimes intense and stormy and that, too, described the weather and season. Spending time indoors with a fellow member of the secret society while it rained cats and dogs? A lot more fun than one might think because one got very good at sound like having some harmless fun… while having a very different kind of fun. Lightning would flash; thunder would roar… and not all of it was due to the weather.

How could one not love summer when it finally arrived? The freedom from the tedium of going to school and being free to explore things since, again, most of the time? We were left to our own devices, commanded and demanded to get out of the house and do something – and something other than getting into trouble and as boys are wont to do. Just a thing that if you were gonna get into some kind of trouble, er, ah, there was always that one thing that could be done that was worth getting into trouble over…

If you got caught doing it. Oh, it happened but for the most part? Not so much and even then I had wondered why more of us didn’t get busted and punished for our wickedness… and I thought that those in charge of us probably did know what we were doing when out of their sight… and sometimes right under their noses. They knew… because it’s always been a boys being boys kind of thing and, I guess, it was easier to just let it happen, to let it run its course, than to keep it from happening since, at least for the horny motherfuckers I grew up with, telling us not to do this was the same as telling us to go ahead and do it.

Just. Don’t. Get. Caught.

I think of Sly and The Family Stone’s song, “Summertime” and the part of the lyrics that says, “Hot fun in the summertime…” and, yeah, buddy, we had lots of hot fun in the summertime because, um, there wasn’t really anything better to do when you and your pal were left to your own devices on those hot, steamy, summer days…

 
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Posted by on 9 July 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Sin of It

Time to recognize the elephant in the room. Homosexual sex is a sin. Old Testament fire and brimstone stuff with the promise of a painful and gruesome death with a side of eternal damnation. And many believe this with all their heart and soul and, make no mistake, even bisexuals wind up having a major crisis of faith due to the even more major conflict that they’re feeling a way that, way, way, way back in the the day would get you stoned to death (or some other horrible way to die).

I don’t remember who said this to me but someone said, “You know that’s a sin and you’re gonna die and go to hell, right?” and I said something snarky like, “Yeah, I know it and I’ve probably gotten my reservation but the good thing? I’m not gonna be there by myself!”

Yep… that answer didn’t go over very well. Did I know this? Of course I did; knew it was a bad thing never to be done and once I started going to church and started reading the bible, I found out why it was such a bad thing. I didn’t give the person who brought this up a good impression of me with my snarky answer and by mentioning that by the time I found out why it was bad, it was too late; it was closing the barn door after the cows had long since been gone.

I learned that science and religion have never gotten along with each other and this is one of the many areas that they don’t agree on. Sex is a normal and very human thing to do whether for procreation or just for the fun of it and it didn’t take being a Mensa-level genius to figure out the… discrepancy between what science said and what religion was saying. One of them had to be wrong and more so when it was pretty clear that boys were doing it with other boys and, yep, girls were doing it with other girls. Then you toss in the whole “putting away childish things” thing and I was understanding that experimentation was greatly frowned upon but it was also expected and just as expected to go by the wayside once one reached a certain age.

Which, as a bit of an aside, is why a lot of people who’ve experienced sex like this when they were younger tend to act like what they did back then doesn’t count or mean anything in the here and now. That mindset still sometimes makes me roll my eyes because, being the child of science that I tend to be, I know – even if those folks don’t wanna accept it – that once you do a thing, you cannot ever undo it so acting like it never happened is, um, what’s a good word here?

Lemme get back to you on that one.

I remember the day I was talking to my pastor about this and after his very rousing sermon about sin and the wages of sin and with particular interest in the part of his sermon where he strongly suggested that anyone who were, ah, having sex with their own kind, repent and confess their sin so that God can forgive them. I will tell you the end of this discussion first: I got my ass in a world of trouble for questioning what my pastor and the bible said about this and I spent my two-week grounding given a lot of thought about being grounded for asking questions about something when, the reality that I understood was saying very different things.

My pastor, a man I respected very much, didn’t take offense to my questioning but as he talked to me, I did notice that he didn’t really answer my questions; all he really did was reword what the Old Testament said about it and, perhaps, thinking that I didn’t understand it as written – but I did understand it as written. I even had the temerity to point out to him – and like he didn’t know it – that the Old Testament was about Jewish folks more than anyone else so why were we – people who weren’t Jewish – obeying rules meant for Jewish people?

Yep… I’d dug a deep hole for myself and kept right on digging deeper because what I knew – and what I had been experiencing – seriously clashed with what we were being told on Sunday mornings and, of course, with what a lot of people firmly believed in. I’m sure I also outed myself to him but if I did, he didn’t take me to task for being a sinner (which is why I respected him so much) but after all that time talking to him and listening to his explanations, all that did was create more questions in my mind that needed answering. And the question I asked that really got my ass in very hot water?

“If the bible said what it says so that people will make babies, why is it a sin to have sex when no babies are gonna be made?” Yeah… talk about being too smart for my own good. I saw the flaw and got “punished” for questioning it and the source of it all. Thirteen year olds have no business even knowing about this, right, let alone being able to put two and two together to expose a very big flaw about this and more so when I knew that people were having sex and in sinful ways… a lot of people. More people than I could have imagined at that point in my life.

And I understood why homosexuals were getting their heads handed to them and for pretty much the same reason bisexuals, today, are getting their heads handed to them. Because having sex in either mode is a sin and it’s a sin because no babies will ever be made. There’s the elephant and its standing right there waving its trunk and, if it could, it’s laughing its ass off because so many of us believe in something that, in fact, isn’t so much a lie as it is a specific way to do things that has an expected and desired outcome… and anything that doesn’t lend itself to those things are a sin.

Can you say fornication? Sure you can. Who among us hasn’t fornicated? But, yep, there are those of us who fornicate with others who are, at the very least, physically like ourselves and, uh-huh, fornicate in the expected and opposite sex way, too. And, yeah, were I to call for a show of hands on this one, mine would be among the first raised. Did I just confess to being a sinner?

Yeah, I did. Am I worried about it? Worried about the wages of sin? Honestly? Kinda but not so much because everyone dies, saint and sinner alike and if there’s really a heaven or hell, well, one day, I’m gonna find out for sure. Could I repent? Give up my sinful thoughts and ways? I could… but that means going back to conforming to something that I believe is erroneous and too much like a stacked deck, if you catch my drift. I know why the rules say what they say. I don’t disagree with them so much as I am very aware of the inherent flaw in it.

The elephant in the room just nods at me and kinda winks as if to say, “Yeah, you see it… and you get it, don’t you?” I do… and I do. While the bible is pretty damned confusing and open to great interpretation people, on the other hand, aren’t so confusing in this respect. We like sex. We like being intimate with each other and in every way we can be… and including throwing the rule book out of the window… and because we can. Religion knew this and rules were put in place to prevent it and to keep us focused on making babies and doing other things the way those early religious leaders wanted us to do them – and all in the name of God and disobedience wasn’t going to be tolerated and punishment, well, yeah – it had a certain finality to it.

When I really became aware of this, I did consider that I could be 100% wrong about what I was finding out and, believe me, I’ve had so many arguments with others about this and some that got pretty ugly but all that proved to serve was that, crap – what I had learned about why these particular sins are sins was right but what everyone tended to believe? They believed what they were being told and, as such, not believing things when, duh, it was very damned clear that boys did it to boy and girls were having a fun good time with each other.

Not really in defiance of the rules and laws… but because it could be done like this and it was being done like this… a lot and so much that it had to stop… except, it didn’t. Does this mean I don’t believe in God or a supreme being? No because I do… I just don’t believe everything that religion, as an institution, says about this.

The elephant in the room, if it really could, starts laughing. Again, the science says that we are social animals and among the few species that has sex just for the hell of it and, yeah, one of the species that has developed homosexual tendencies as well and it just stands to reason that “figuring out” that there was a middle ground in this, to me, wasn’t all that surprising given how our species developed to have this higher brain function and all its added abilities that allows us to be, for the most part, the dominant species on the whole fucking planet.

I ain’t saying that the bible is lying… it’s just not tell anyone the whole story and, depending on what you believe, is guilty of lies of omission more than anything else. And, yeah… still the guy who knows how much “trouble” I can get into just by pointing this out and the good thing is that I’m not the only one who, by some means or the other, figured this out. It is… easier to obey the rules than it is to break them since breaking rules do have consequences… but isn’t there a reason why it’s said that rules are made to be broken?

All you need is a good reason to break them and the human mind is more than capable of coming up with reasons to break these particular rules and even if those reasons only makes sense to the person breaking them. We can get all into the emotions of it all; we can get into that biological imperative hard-coded into us to have sex but the real reason and the one that few people ever really give?

It’s because we can. And the rules be damned. I see so much stuff written about why people are like this and I’ve yet to read something that states we can be like this because we can be like this, you know, if we want and/or need to. Such stuff likes to point to a lot of stuff – and a lot of it socially-based or even as a result of our long-standing social contract and alleges a lot of defiance to what the social contract – re our morality – says. The real answer and the one religion will never speak to is rather simple:

We’re human. It’s the way we once were before the rules. It’s they way we can be despite the rules, admonishments and promises of eternal damnation and being made to pony up the wages of sin. It’s equally simple: You either believe this… or you don’t. A lot of bisexuals, in particular, have been known to say, “If God didn’t mean for me to be this way, I wouldn’t be this way.”

I had asked my pastor, “If God gave us free will, why do we get punished for expressing our free will in some things?”

He blinked. I’m sure he could have come up with a plausible explanation but I think I shocked him a bit to be asking questions I shouldn’t have known to ask. I got a lot older and thought back to that moment and realized that he didn’t answer my question… because he couldn’t and he couldn’t answer it without exposing the hypocrisy that’s included in any of this… and the inherent flaw and fallacy.

I didn’t get the ass-kicking I had expected to get for doing the unthinkable but I got a tongue-lashing that I will always remember for having the gall to question “the Word of God.” That’s not what I was doing; I was asking why it was the way it was because it didn’t jive with what I was learning and, specifically, about sex. I wasn’t – and don’t – question the Word of God… but I do question the word of the men who wrote it so very long ago and, yeah, in some very different flavors. I don’t ever deny that the rules, as written, do serve a purpose – they do and for a great many people.

Just not everyone. Never did. Never will. I have, at times, thrown the science at some seriously religious people and they either reject the science of our biology or say, “Yeah, but…” and the “but” is usually, “It’s a sin!” Bluntly? It’s only a sin because it’s said to be one… and we believe it until we have reason to either question it… or not believe it.

There are currently 7.7 billion people on the planet (and counting) and there are an untold number of people who aren’t playing by the rules and sinning their happy asses off, not only fornicating but having homosexual sex and going both ways in this. There’s this thing that says one person could be wrong but a whole lot of people doing the same thing? Is it possible that the untold number of people who aren’t straight – even in their thoughts alone – are, in fact, wrong?

They are if you believe what religion says… and religion ain’t ever gonna tell the whole story and most certainly will never speak about what it really means to be human when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. Religion’s way is only one way – it’s just not the only way and the funny part? We know this; we’ve always known this.

We just don’t all believe it even with all the evidence over all this time that, at least to me, proves, without any doubt, that what we believe isn’t the whole truth of things. Easier to say folks are disobedient, sinning, rule breakers than it is to admit that we’re just like this and always have been and the thing that we’ve not yet learned is that the more you try to stop people in this, the more the attempt to stop them will fail.

It’s failed before with homosexuals. It will fail with bisexuals. The elephant in the room is doing the Cha-cha Slide and dancing a jig and I’m watching it dance its ass off… but I’ve always been able to see it and to behave as if it’s not really there (metaphorically speaking, of course) doesn’t make sense.

Who knew elephants could be so graceful? As in any of this, I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind in these things; I’m just telling you something that I learned and I learned it because I had a reason to and it came in the form of a question:

“How can something that’s so bad feel so good?” I know why; went through some shit to find out why and got cussed out, laughed at, dissed, etc., along the way. I know I could be wrong… I just don’t think I am and, again, I’m not the only one who figured this out since everyone who isn’t straight also had to figure it out and in whatever way they could.

I’m just the guy who will point to the elephant in the room that’s still dancing. There’s a lot of talk about acceptance in sexuality and what’s the best way to accomplish this very necessary goal and while we can talk about it, hold referendums and all that, I’m of a mind that the institution of religion is in great need of an update… or perhaps should be “abolished” in some way because it’s not telling us the whole truth and it never did… because we aren’t supposed to know the whole truth.

Yeah… that’s not gonna happen any time soon and even if it did, as long as there is one person who believes in this and believes that not being straight is a sin, acceptance will continue to be a goal that will be hard to reach “universally.”

 
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Posted by on 24 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Gay?

Growing up, er, um, yeah – a lot of us guys wanted to do the sex thing we were told to avoid at all costs and specifically with each other. We, for the most part, ignored both things. We were told about sissies, faggots, and queers and the word “gay” meant “happy and carefree” as far as we knew but we’d later learn that “gay” meant “homosexual.”

Well, okay, if you say so. What I know is that while we were aware of the negative words (and a lot more than the ones I wrote already), eh, most of us didn’t care about that while others didn’t want to be targeted as being a sissy, faggot, or queer which was a reality and a concern since, kids being kids, all it took was for someone to say you were a faggot and you were in for a lot of grief… and even if the accusation wasn’t true.

Funny and somewhat random thoughts about this. Every so often a guy would be keen to do it but they’d say, “Don’t stick it in too far!” I didn’t know about the other guys but I assumed that this request would be made because everyone knew that when you stick your dick in somebody’s butt, it was gonna hurt… but I was finding out that this wasn’t the only reason and as illustrated by a time when a friend and I were gonna do it, he said not to stick it in too far (and as he always said) but added, “I don’t wanna be a faggot!”

It was confusing since we all knew that if a boy did it to another boy, that meant you were a faggot and whether you stuck it all the way in or not. The funny part was that among the guys who didn’t want it stuck in too far, they still wanted to be screwed even though, again, we were learning about things homosexual – sissy, faggot, and/or queer… but were we really those things? The question would come up because except for one guy we knew of for sure, the rest of us would do it to a girl quick, fast, and in a hurry and even then we could see that some guys, if they couldn’t get a girl to do it to, they knew there were plenty of guys they could do something with.

Bisexual? Didn’t even know the word existed but we heard about switch-hitters, playing for both sides, batting from both side of the plate and a few more I can’t remember off the top of my head. A lot of us knew we fit the description and a lot of us didn’t care because just being able to do the nasty to and with anyone just worked.

Even for those guys who didn’t want it stuck in too far. Now, by the time I’d say that “all of us” were shooting the dreaded baby-making stuff, some guys would be eager to suck on your dick… as long as you didn’t shoot the stuff into their mouth. I didn’t think it was so much because it made you a sissy et al… it, um, yeah – it’s an acquired taste but one a lot of us thought was better than, say, eating liver or brussel sprouts.

So along the way a guy would want to blow you as long as you didn’t shoot in his mouth but we seemed to pick up on something, that being if you didn’t shoot it in a guy’s mouth, you could shoot it in his butt… as long as you didn’t stick it in too far. Some guys were content to just have you stick it between their butt cheeks and do it to them that way – it’s call frotting these day – and sometimes a guy would lie on his back and let you hump him like that until stuff got shot. While some guys preferred to be able to stick it in, eh, it was still doing the nasty and there just wasn’t anything more fun and exciting than to be doing the nasty.

Decades later I’d wind up learning more stuff about guys who were like me, willing and able to do it with a guy or a gal… but some guys were really funny about it. Oh, they’d want to do it but would stop short of cumming and the reason seemed to be that if you did it with a guy but no cum was involved, it wasn’t gay.

Wait, what? That “don’t stick it in too far” thing from the early days made a lot more sense that this did since, by now, myself and a whole lot of guys knew that if a dude had sex with a dude, it was gay sex. It didn’t mean that you were gay but that was the assumption… and it still is because, as everyone knows, only gay men have sex with other men. Except…

I wasn’t gay. I knew I wasn’t. Had proved it more times that I would care to admit to. I even knew that I didn’t “like” guys in the way that a lot of gay guys I knew did. We could be friends and friends enough to want to have sex with each other… wasn’t gonna be your boyfriend, though, and there was no way in hell I was gonna give up having sex with girls just to only have sex with guys.

I was becoming much more aware of something I say a lot these days: Perception versus truth… and no one really wants to be bothered with the truth so much. If you’re a dude and you have sex with a dude, you’re gay; if you’re a chick and have sex with a chick, you’re a lesbian. Hell, if you even looked at another guy, say, in a locker or shower room, you were mostly certainly gay. Someone could accuse you of being gay and you could tell them about every time you had sex with a woman… and they wouldn’t believe you even if you told them to go ask the woman; they’d just assume that she’s lying to help you cover up the fact that you were really gay.

I was quickly learning how stupid some people could be and that they’d rather wallow in their ignorance than to deal with the truth that I was bisexual and a lot of men and women were as well. Not one or the other: Both. But it was worse in that once you were tagged as being gay, well, you obviously were spending a lot of time being fucked in the ass by other guys but, um, no one really said that if you were fucking another guy, you were gay.

No – you were only gay if you were the one being fucked and sucking cock just made you even gayer. But if you were the one being sucked, well, no one would say that you were gay and to me, that didn’t make any sense and it still doesn’t since, even today, there are a lot of people who believe this to be true… including “straight” guys who’d let another guy blow and finish them off and will tell you in no uncertain terms that they’re not gay and they’re not bi.

I’d run into guys occasionally who’d say, “We should go somewhere and suck each other’s cock… but I’m not gay, okay?” Well, wait a minute: If guys having oral sex with each other is considered to be gay/homosexual – and it most certainly is – why would you even say what you did and in the way you did? I was reading between the lines a lot to gain an understanding that some guys didn’t really think or believe it was gay to blow each other silly… but it was definitely gay if any fucking was mentioned and, specifically, being the one with a dick in your ass.

Even funnier were the guys who’d declare that they weren’t gay but, sure, go ahead and stick it in me and fuck me… just don’t stick it in too far and/or don’t cum in me. Why? Again, it’s because if you don’t cum, it’s not gay and even more so, it didn’t mean anything – it would be like it never happened. I really did have a guy tell me, one night, that he very much wanted to blow me but don’t “bust a nut in my head” and before I could say, “Okay…” he said I couldn’t do that because to him, that was very gay and he wasn’t gay.

But sucking my dick isn’t? That didn’t, by the way, stop him from busting a nut in my head but, then again, I never had a problem with it. Knew it was gay and all that but I was learning that the bottom line – and no matter what kind of sex you wanted to call it – it was just and merely sex.

I read in a book that once one gets a reputation, it’s almost impossible to get rid of it even if you didn’t really do anything to get that reputation… and “being gay” got a reputation a very long time ago and almost every attempt to diss the reputation of being gay – when you knew good and damned well you weren’t – wasn’t impossible but it was pretty damned difficult.

Or like I told a guy one day, “You want proof that I’m not gay? Go get your woman and bring her back here… and watch what I’m gonna do to her. The funny part? He said that it didn’t prove that I wasn’t gay and that I’d screw his old lady just to prove him wrong. Just more proof that once someone makes up their mind about something, good luck trying to convince them that they’re believing something that isn’t true.

By the way, I’m pretty sure he really believed that I wasn’t gay since he wasn’t of a mind to be provided with the proof he was originally insisting on which, honestly, was shame because his lady was pretty hot. It was becoming more apparently that people just didn’t want to know the truth, that not everyone who had sex in the same-sex mode wasn’t gay.

So, okay. If two dudes get together and have sex, it’s considered to be gay sex… and assumed that both guys are gay… and they may not be. Hell, one guy, again, could be up to his eyeballs in this and continue to insist that he’s straight.

I was learning that humans really are clinically insane. You know how we always insist that actions speak louder than words? Not in this. Don’t pay one bit of attention to what we’re doing – believe the words that are coming out of my mouth and those words are I’m not gay or bi. I’m straight, aight? You ready to go again or what?

I do understand why people get their panties in a bunch about labels and the great resistance to them because a whole lot of people really and truly believe that what they do is one thing… but what they think of themselves is a whole different thing and their actions do not really define anything. Okay… could a guy who thinks of himself as straight give me a blow job? Sure he could… but does it make sense for him to keep thinking that he’s straight? He’d tell you that it does… and I’m gonna look at him and think, “Okay, what planet did you come from where that is true?”

People are ranting and raving against bisexuality and insisting that all bisexuals are really gay when, duh, seriously? I’ve said time and time again that these people just overlook the fact that we’re straight, too, and those who know this accuse us of having some kind of privilege and even I have a hard time trying to figure out how my being straight – as well as gay when I’m doing something gay – is a privilege.

Ah, but I know why. It’s because we just cannot get out of our collective heads that if you do something gay, that means you’re gay and nothing you’re gonna say or do is going to change anyone’s mind about it. I also know that there was a time, oh, beginning somewhere in the late 1980s, where a lot of gay men turned to being straight acting; they’d date women and even get married and all for the purpose of not letting their real gayness be known which made sense given how homosexuals were getting their heads handed to them big time… and I’m being nice about that.

Bisexuals, however, aren’t straight-acting. We are straight… except when we aren’t. I know I could be seen giving my best friend a hug and someone will see us… and assume that one or both of us are gay and even if we’re doing the “A-frame” hug and, by the way, there’s a reason for that – the clasped hands between our bodies is a “barrier” against that which might be perceived as being gay. To find out more about this, you’d have to do some research about body language and the significance of certain things we do that we don’t usually think about, like crossing our arms and even crossing our legs when sitting.

Interesting shit. Still, if “Ted” had some kind of sex with “Al,” is it gay? By all definitions it is… doesn’t mean that either one of them are gay – we just believe this to be true. If “Grace” is seen in a serious lip lock with “Candance,” well, they’s lesbians… but they may not be. They may not even think of themselves in such terms but an observer will automatically assume they’re gay through and through.

We even take this shit further and say that if our hypothetical people (above) are in a relationship, that proves that they’re gay and not one thought or consideration will be given to the fact that, um, neither of them are gay. It just looks that way… and aren’t we quick to believe what we see and not of a mind to be bothered to find out what we’re looking at really means?

People hear “bisexual” and think “homosexual” and don’t give a fuck that they’re only partially right; um, did you miss the part where I’m straight, too? Once homosexuality got the bad rep, it was a wrap. Straight is good. Gay is very bad. No such animal as a bisexual or someone who really does go both ways because it’s so implausible that anyone would want to go both ways and, as such, they must be gay. The have to be.

Because that’s the thing that makes themselves comfortable. We’ve long since gotten comfortable with “you’re either straight or gay” and we believe it so much that, sure, bisexuals just fuck up everything one believes in this – seriously, who does that? Isn’t it easier and better to pick a side and stay on it?

It is gay? Only when we’re doing something homosexual; otherwise, it isn’t. It’s not gay if it’s something you don’t do “all of the time,” right? Wrong. It’s still homosexual by definition. If you only do it when you can’t have “regular sex,” well, that doesn’t make it gay when you do it like that. Um, yes, it does and by definition, that would make you some kind of a bisexual… unless you say that you aren’t and we should believe what you say more than what you’re doing – and regardless to why you’re doing it in the first place.

“Don’t stick it in too far because I don’t wanna be a faggot!” Well, um, what would make you faggot, how far the dick gets stuck in… or the fact that you wanted to have it done to you in the first place? And if you do, does it really mean that you’re a sissy, faggot, queer or, gasp, gay?

No, it doesn’t. You are whatever you say you are and if you say you’re none of the above, well, you’re none of the above… but it’s still perception versus truth and the truth may be that you’re not gay… but you’re not as straight as you want to believe you are and chances are good you’re gonna believe that because you’re expected, required, and demanded to be straight.

 
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Posted by on 4 June 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Do It to Me…”

As a bunch of hormone and sex-crazed boys, we pretty much found the answer to a question that none of us knew to ask: “What does it feel like to be screwed?” Some of us would be screwing a girl and she’d [hopefully] be enjoying it and she might say, “Do it to me…” and some guys, when we’d get together to gossip, would wonder why a girl would say that.

Well, um, there’s a way to find out… and even without the question being a “main concern,” any excuse we could come up with to do it to each other just worked. Giving each other blow jobs – with or without spunk – was a “default” thing to do; it was pretty automatic and, in later years when I’d think about that, it was clear to me that not only was it fun and it felt good, it was the easiest thing for a couple of guys to do and as I’ve said, we could do that pretty much anywhere and at any time.

But to have someone do it to you, well, that was very different and in a lot of us, having someone on top of us and humping us – with or without actual penetration – tended to evoke some pretty “strange” emotions and emotions that were shockingly familiar to those of us who were doing it to girls and, namely, it felt weirdly good.

I’ve heard a lot of guys ask the question and a lot have been “brave” enough to ask a girl what it felt like, only to have a girl not being able to explain it other than to say, “It feels good!” It’s an answer… but it doesn’t really answer the question and, again, later in life, I’d find that the reason why answering that question would get reduced to, “It feels good” was because there aren’t many words in the human vocabulary that can explain all the thoughts and feelings in play when one is being screwed.

Of course, it was “inconceivable” that boys would do it to each other which was a major contradiction in and of itself since, um, we were doing it to each other like there was no tomorrow. Sure… nasty and all that and we knew it which just added to making it feel good to do it. Admittedly – and without a whole lot of embarrassment – I’d have plenty of moments when someone was doing to me and it was comfortable and feeling good in ways my limited vocabulary couldn’t handle and I’d hear myself saying, “Do it to me…” which usually had the effect of the guy doing it to me to step up his efforts to make it feel even better.

The “weird” thing, of course, is that boys aren’t only supposed to fuck each other, they’re not supposed to know some shit about this that girls would know. Many of us found out what girls liked about having it done to them as well as what they didn’t like about it. We’d find out how it could make us feel when we didn’t really want to do it but, okay, let’s do it and one would find themselves going from not being happy about doing something they didn’t want to do in the first place… to finding themselves buried in all those wonderful feelings and then egging the guy on to keep doing it, don’t stop, just do it to me.

I don’t see what the big deal is about it…

A lot of guys have been heard to say this and justifiably so since in order to know what the big deal is, they’d have to experience it. Again, you could ask a guy who’d had it done to him and his explanation would wind up getting boiled down to, “It just feels good…” and leaving the inquirer with an answer that kinda doesn’t answer anything. I’d usually wind up telling a guy, “If you really wanna know, there’s only one way to find out…” and, well, they weren’t gonna do that and most of the time they weren’t because if they didn’t know anything else, they knew what everyone was saying about being screwed in the butt:

It hurts. And it does… at first. In later years, I’d equate it to getting a tattoo in that, at first, it hurts – and can hurt like a motherfucker depending on where you’re getting inked – but after a while, the pain of it goes away and is, at the worst, irritating and depending on one’s tolerance for pain. And, sure enough, for some folks, getting inked doesn’t hurt at all; hell, getting a splinter hurts more than getting inked does.

I often get a kick when guys on the forum are trying to describe to others how it feels to be fucked and mostly because I know how hard it is to put it into words – and without resorting to saying that it feels good since it kinda stands to reason that if it didn’t feel good, ya wouldn’t be doing that. Early on for me, I found it possible to lie there with a guy doing it to me and pay some attention to what I was feeling other than his dick in my ass and, holy shit, trying to make sense of all of the thoughts and feelings would just shut my brain down or, at the least, everything I was thinking and feeling would turn into a jumbled mess and not too dissimilar to trying to undo a huge ball of string that has a lot of knots in it.

There is just a lot of stuff going on when someone is doing it to you. Guys try to section out what part of it feels the best and while a lot of guys say that it’s indescribable to have in inside you and working your butt over, a lot of guys agree that the best part of it is when the other guy cums in you… and I don’t necessarily disagree with that. Being the overly curious person I was, oh, yeah, I was very much aware of this… but I didn’t know why and more so when ya knew that when the guy shot his stuff into you, it was gonna be game over for a few and signaled the end to the fun for the moment.

It goes from being… uncomfortable at first, to being very comfortable, and then to being uncomfortable again and in cycles but you learn to just relax through these moments and either ignore the discomfort or embrace it and use it to heighten your pleasure. A lot of guys, including myself, would say that things would get to a point where if there was one clear thought in your head, it was the point where you wanted him to cum; you not only wanted him to, you needed him to cum. And if he didn’t, couldn’t, took “too long” to do it or, son of a bitch – pulled out and shot it all over you, it could make you feel some kind of way that wasn’t all that good.

I know I’d feel… incomplete. The job was left unfinished. You mean to tell me you put me through all of that and didn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do? In today’s vernacular, “You had one job…”

It was – and probably still is – assumed that guys don’t have orgasms and, indeed, we’ve been of a mind that, for us, ejaculation and orgasm are the same things… and I can tell you that they aren’t. I’ve been in discussions with other guys about this and they’ve sworn that they’re the same thing and I’ve asked them, “Have you ever felt like you just came but found out that you didn’t?”

And if they said that they did I’d tell them, “That was an orgasm.” They’d disagree because “everyone” knows what an orgasm is supposed to feel like and boys just didn’t have them. There were a lot of times a guy would be doing it to me and it would get intense and then I’d think, “Did he just make me shoot?” – only to find out that I hadn’t… but it sure felt like it… and I’d have that feeling more than once, some pretty intense, some like a warm, fuzzy kind of feeling.

We didn’t know shit about prostate stimulation – we just knew that it could not only feel good but feel really good and even better when the other guy shot his jizz into you. Now, how you felt after the fact, well, that could be something else from being exuberant to thinking, shit, maybe I shouldn’t have done that and in that case, you almost wind up asking yourself if it felt good at all and you realize it did; still, many guys wouldn’t be able to look at it like this so if they felt shitty (no pun intended) after the fact, well, it didn’t feel good at all.

What do you like about it… and what don’t you like?

Well, if ya ask me, I liked everything about it… and didn’t like everything about it which sounds strange until you consider the other “common denominator” in this equation: The other guy. Some guys are good at it, some guys just aren’t. Some could make it feel incredibly good to have them doing it to you… and some guys could make you leave yourself a “note” to punch them in the face as soon as he let you up.

My protege, when we talked about this, said that he couldn’t get his head around the supposed pleasure many guys talk about when getting boned and I said to him that you have to find the pleasure in it; it’s not “just gonna happen” because you think it should and finding the pleasure in it begins with not paying a whole lot of attention of where the other guy’s cock is going. He had asked how I got past that part and I’d said that it occurred to me that other than a guy’s mouth, um, there was only one other place a guy could do it to another guy… and if you wanted him to do it to you, well…

What about that girly, bitchy feeling? That, too, is what it is and I can tell you that it doesn’t feel good since the social programming insists that it shouldn’t feel good because you’re not a girl. You learn, as I had to, that you either ignore it or embrace it, let it carry you away and for no other reason than it’s not supposed to and if you can, sure – you can find out almost exactly how women feel when you do it to them…

And it feels good. I’ve said that in these things, your body doesn’t care how it’s being pleasured… but your mind does and if you don’t find it enjoyable, it’s usually because you can’t convince your mind to “forget” all that “this ain’t supposed to happen” shit so that you can just let your body tell you how good it can feel.

Strangely good. Weirdly good. Maybe even “unnaturally” good. More so if you’re not really paying “that much attention” to the guy who has his dick in your ass but just thinking about having a dick in your ass which isn’t easy to do, either. It’s exciting and scarily so; you know what’s going to happen once you’re in position and you damned well know you shouldn’t be in that position in the first place. You feel his slick hardness press against that forbidden and nasty place and you don’t want it to go in… but you want it to go in. It’s gonna not feel good then it’s gonna stop not feeling good and now it’s about being immersed in your thoughts and feelings – both good and bad – as you wait patiently (or not) to notice the change in him when he’s about to cum, feel his dick swelling inside you, then feel it pumping away and sending your thoughts and feelings all over place, like the one time a guy was unloading in my butt and I had the very clear and weird thought, “He’s trying to make me pregnant!”

Felt good, too. Felt nasty. Wrong but right. You’re not gonna do this again but you can’t really wait to do it again. How you feel about it depends on how you feel about it and we all don’t feel the same way about it. It’s not unusual for a guy being boned to blame himself if the other guy couldn’t or didn’t cum but some some, whether he does or not is literally icing on the cake because it’s how being screwed in your butt is making you feel.

Girly. Comfortable and not so much at times. Vulnerable… extremely vulnerable. Kinda scary but not so scary. Nasty. Eh, really nasty. Doing something bad that feels good. Going from feeling full and then, when he finally pulls out, feeling disturbingly empty.

Do it to me. Stick it in me. Cum inside me. Make me feel good and very bad about having you do it to me. And when you’re ready, do it to me again.

Because it feels good and there’s no other way to describe it with your words… but you know why and just as you know that if it didn’t feel good, you wouldn’t do it.

 
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Posted by on 31 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Why Is It So Surprising?

Here’s a rhetorical question for you and in the title of this scribble. It’s rhetorical because I know the answer already but it popped into my head to “ask” it anyway.

If we – men – are famously or infamously known for our need for sex, why is it so surprising that we’d turn to each other for it? With some, ah, anatomical differences, we can do the same things with each other that we can do with women. Women, well, sorry girls, are just as famous or infamous for making having sex with them not as easy as one might think – not that you can blame them for that but it’s just the way it’s always been and there’s some evolutionary stuff behind this as well as a lot of social shit tacked on for good measure.

Why is it so surprising? Because we’re not supposed to do this with each other. If you’re not getting laid with a woman your only recourse is masturbation which, okay, that can be fun, can take the edge off and all that but the “fun” of sex isn’t so much the outcome (pun intended this time) but it’s the interaction, to be in close physical contact with someone else that humans, being very social animals, needs for our mental well-being.

The rules say who you can have sex with, when you can, why you can, what you’re allowed to do and in all of these things, the objects of our lust are supposed to be women only; the girls tend to like and hate this all at the same time. The truth is that somewhere early on in our existence as a species, same-sex sex was discovered and its origins have been lost in history so it’s hard to say if this sexual behavior was borne out of some kind of necessity other than the constant need for men to have sex (in particular)… and maybe that was the one and only reason since men going out to hunt would often be away from women for days at a time and, well, hmm, it’s any port in a storm.

People act shocked about it, will rant, rave, preach and/or otherwise bemoan the fact that both men and women do this and always with the, ah, misconception that there are plenty of other men and women to have sex with. That’s true, of course… good luck finding them and convincing them that having sex isn’t going to be something they’re gonna regret or is otherwise a huge mistake.

Americans, in particular, are some of the kinkiest motherfuckers on the planet while being, at the same time, the biggest prudes on the planet because of the “strict” social construct that defines sex for us and what’s not ever to be done. We’re some of the biggest hypocrites on the planet about it, too, since you have, say, swingers who routinely violate the rules of monogamy and the sacred marriage vows to have sex… but will raise all kinds of hell about guys blowing each other and like it’s the most immoral and unholiest thing ever.

And I want you to really think about that one as well as the other acts of hypocrisy we routinely commit when someone is having sex in a way that we might not be of a mind to engage in ourselves or, um, we’re never gonna admit to.

“I don’t believe in that shit!” is the thing most heard about things M2M or F2F… and it should be obvious that what you don’t believe in isn’t the truth about what’s really going on and what makes this even better is that the people who get surprised by this revelation knows that what they believe isn’t the truth – it just makes them feel better about themselves to keep believing what is, essentially, a lie.

A guy had heard that I was a cock sucker and I had to give it to him for being bold enough to say something to me about it and one of the first things he said was, “I don’t believe it’s true – is it?”

Okay… “busted.” So I said it was true and I had an interesting moment watching him processing this and I knew that inside his head, there was a battle going on between his beliefs and this new information he just learned. I waited for what I knew was gonna be next: Him telling me what he thought about that and what his own beliefs were and he didn’t disappoint me one bit. I just stood there and listened to him go on and on about his beliefs and the usual stuff about guys not being allowed, for any reason, to suck on each other’s dicks.

He had worked himself up to quite a frenzy about it and when he finally stopped talking long enough to breathe I asked him, “Are you done yet?”

“Yeah, I guess so… but I’m shocked,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You don’t look like the type,” he replied – and, again, I was expecting this one to show up.

“I don’t know what the type looks like,” I said – and, yep, it was a bit of a fib because I knew exactly what the type is supposed to look like: Gay dude. His problem? Up until that moment, he was very sure that I wasn’t gay and, of course, he was very right about that.

“But why?” he asked.

“Because it’s fun… and I can – do I need any other reason than that?” I asked and, yes, I was now fucking with him.

“But you’re married,” he said.

“Yep, I sure am,” I said.

“I don’t get it,” he said.

“It’s sex,” I said. “Don’t you like sex?”

“Yeah but only with women!” he said.

“Yeah, I like sex with women, too,” I said. “That’s just not the only way to have sex… but you knew that already.”

“Yeah, but…” he said as his brain probably locked up on him. “I still don’t believe it.”

“Okay, what would it take for you to believe it?” I asked, still kinda/sorta fucking with him. “Would you seeing me doing it get you to believe it?”

He blinked and it was all I could do not to laugh. But he kinda saw the “trap” I laid for him in this because he said, “No… because I know you – you’d do it just to prove me wrong!”

“Yeah, I would but you’re overlooking something,” I said.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“You’d still see me sucking a dick, wouldn’t you?” I asked.

“Yeah, but…” he started to say again – then closed his mouth so fast I heard his teeth clicking together.

“Would you believe it more if I blew you?” I asked… and, no, I didn’t ask him that because I wanted to blow him.

“What? Are you asking me if you can suck my dick?” Wow… talk about getting flustered!

“No; I’m asking you a question about what will make you believe that what you heard – and what I said – are both the truth,” I replied. “Now, you’re either gonna believe me or you aren’t – I’m just trying to find out which thing is gonna happen with you. Having said that, I really don’t care if you believe me or not.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t – and won’t – change the fact that I do suck dick,” I said. “Now, you’re either going to believe it… or you aren’t. It’s up to you. And, yeah, if you require proof, okay – I can prove it to you.”

I thought he was going to either soil himself, pass out, or suddenly remember that he had something else to do… as I waited for him to “do the math” on this one.

“I knew that guys did that shit but I didn’t think you’d be one of them,” he said.

“Surprised, huh?” I asked with a laugh.

“Very,” he admitted.

“So now what? Do you believe me or not? Am I gonna have to prove it to you?” I asked; I was now tired of having this conversation and one that I’ve had to have more times that I cared to think about. You just get kinda tired of fighting against what someone else believes and more so when you know that what they believe isn’t the truth. You get tired of presenting the evidence… and despite that, they continue to refuse to believe it.

“Prove it? How do you prove that?” he asked and I had to both shake my head and laugh again.

“Did you miss the part when I suggested that if you required proof, you could watch me blow someone or I could blow you?” I asked in between bouts of laughter.

“I guess I did… but you’d do that?” he asked.

“Sure – I like you enough,” I said with a shrug. “If that’s what it’s gonna take for you to believe, why not?”

He declined, of course, but I expected that, too. As he walked away mumbling to himself, it reminded me about the constant battle that takes place between truth and belief. Sometimes what you believe is true… and sometimes it just ain’t true… and this is one of the things that many people don’t believe but is quite true.

Men have sex with each other and so do women. Why? Because they want to or they have to… or just because they can because it’s sex – and who really doesn’t like having sex? No – don’t answer that because I know not everyone does. No one likes having their beliefs challenged or questioned and more so when they’ve been going right along believing their beliefs and even when there’s evidence that what they believe isn’t the truth.

I just find it so very interesting that we – humans – behave in this way. If you know that men and women do have sex with each other, why would you continue to disbelieve it? Is it because it’s not something that they’d have reason to do or it is simply a matter of them continuing to believe what we’ve been told about this… and despite the evidence that what we’ve been told isn’t true? Maybe it’s both… doesn’t change the fact that the truth is out there and, well, it’s true.

 
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Posted by on 12 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Do They Know What They’re Missing?

I’ve been having a rather spirited conversation with a guy on the forum about, um, doing the nasty with guys and at one point, he opined that guys who aren’t interested in this aspect of sex don’t know what they’re missing and, to expand on that, yeah, sure – people who are not of a mind to have sex like this may not know what they’re missing… but some of them do know: They’re just not of a mind to cross the line because we’re not supposed to shit like that.

If nothing else, what they may be missing is an… expansion of their desire to have sex. See, when it comes to bisexuality, many people think that straddling the line is exchanging one form of sex for another… and that’s the wrong way to think about it.

You’re not substituting one form of sex for another – you’re adding to whatever sex you’re already having or, as my protege aptly put it, you’re adding something to your sexual menu. There’s always the stigma against such activities yet, despite the presence of the stigma, um, people are adding to their sexual diet just the same. Many resist this addition to their diet because they’re thinking about who – whether the additional menu item is male or female – but not thinking about what – having sex in an expanded kind of way.

I get a kick out of the many people I have heard say they love sex but ask them if they’d go the same-sex route and, oops, nope – they don’t love sex that much but, again, I think it’s because they’re thinking who and not what. One of the things I learned early on is that your body doesn’t care who is pleasuring it – but your mind does. A long time ago, I conducted an experiment with a group of people who were of a mind that who was doing something did make a difference. Made some blindfolds, set some conditions – go down on someone and no extra touching allowed – and while you’re being sucked or eaten, tell everyone how you’re feeling – then take off your blindfold.

Many of the participants were shocked but it proved the point I was trying to make: Your body doesn’t care – only your mind does because it’s been conditioned to think that way… until that conditioning gets broken by some means and for some reason. What made the experiment even interesting is that no one in attendance objected to the conditions of the experiment.

Think about that one for a moment or two.

I asked a question in yesterday’s scribble: What’s the difference between a man eating a woman’s coochie and a woman doing it? The only difference is who is doing it and, of course, the same goes with sucking cock. There are some subliminal differences, shit that you’re aware of but cannot put into words like, women just “feel” different from guys and there’s that whole thing that only women are supposed to suck dick and only guys can eat pussy.

And it’s a lie and a bald-faced one at that. A lot of people know it’s a lie… but social perception, wow, that’s a motherfucker and a half, ain’t it, will keep a lot of people right where they are even if somewhere deep inside their mind, hmm, ya know, it might not be that bad of an idea to find out what all the fussing is about. They don’t and, I think, it’s not because they’re worried about having sex like this so much as they are seriously worried about what others will think should it be discovered that “Dorothy” got her coochie eaten like never before – and it was “Sara” who sent her way beyond seventh heaven.

I’d not say that it’s not a genuine concern because it is – our society, on the whole, still reacts very badly to such things but the question I ask people who point to this as to why they’d never do anything like that is, “How would someone else know that you did this? There’s only two ways that could happen: Either you told someone else or the person you did it with told someone that you both knew – and the word spread faster than the speed of light.”

Otherwise, um, who would know other than yourself and the person you were having this kind of sex with?

Do they know what they’re missing? Again, a lot of people do know; they correctly understand that there must be something to it… because there are a lot of people throwing it down like that – and “a lot” is a gross understatement. The real question is do they wanna risk being shat upon and dismissed from there circle of associates by finding out if it’s true that women eat pussy better than men or that men suck cock better than women?

Many don’t and that’s understandable. People aren’t stupid; it doesn’t take being Wile E. Coyote to reason that, um, having your pussy eaten or your dick sucked feels really damned good and that the only thing that really makes a difference is the skill level of the person doing it. Some folks are of a mind that they’d not go this route because they don’t think they’d be good at it. A real concern… but we learn by doing, don’t we and many people get surprised to find out that, hmm, they’re much better at it than they originally thought.

Guys fucking each other. Scary stuff, right? I’ve asked guys who have had anal sex with women what they though the difference was doing the same thing to a guy… and they’ve all said, “It’s a guy!” when the real answer is, “There is no difference – you’re thinking about the person and not the act itself.” But sticking your dick in a guy’s ass is one thing… having a guy stick his dick in your ass? Whoa – hold up! Yeah, we all know it hurts and that “no one in their right mind would do that” given what that orifice is for… yet, we know that there are men who prefer, like, and love to be fucked and, yup, it doesn’t matter if the object in their backside is the real thing or a fake thing… attached by straps to a woman and some guys prefer a woman pegging them over a man dicking them down.

Why? Because they’re thinking who and not what so much. It is to note that a lot of the guys who like being pegged really do want to know what having the real thing inside them feels like… but they’re afraid to find out and the social angst and all the disease cards being thrown around keeps them from finding out. Do they know what they’re missing?

Yeah… they do, but. What’s the different between a woman pegging a guy and a man having his cock in there? A couple of things and the first is obviously “who…” that and a guy is gonna bust a nut in there (and, safely, in a condom).

Now, it is said that one cannot miss that which they’ve never had and, by and large, this is an accurate statement… except when it comes to sex because while there are many who have not had this kind of sex, there are many, many more who have thought about it – and even if they’ve rejected the notion. What would it be like? Would it be different? Good? The worst thing ever? What would my friends think? Shit, what would I think should such a thing happened and I find that I liked it?

Some folks know people who goes both ways and some are privy to the juicy details so, as least in this context, they do know what they’re missing and more so if, say, “Dorothy” tells “Laura” – and because “Laura has proven that she can be trusted – that “Sara” ate the living daylights out of her and, shit, she didn’t know it could be that good.

And “Laura” might think that, uh-uh – I’d never do that… but what if “Dorothy” has stumbled onto something? She liked it and I know she said she’d never allow that to happen, never thought about it, wouldn’t do it for any reason… but she did.

Hmm. Maybe “Laura” sticks to her guns and chooses not to find out what “Dorothy” has found out – but can it be said that she now knows what she might be missing? And, if she chooses not to, why did she? I’d say that she’s not thinking about getting her pussy eaten – she’s thinking about who’d do it and they’re not male – and thinking about the social angst she’d be subjected to if anyone ever found out.

The truth is that not everyone can break the social conditioning against having sex like this. Some people are aware that there’s something missing in their sexual life and maybe they do, in fact, know what’s missing – but they reject the notion because, forever and ever, people are not supposed to have sex like this…

And in the face of the very real fact that a lot of people are having sex like this and, again, “a lot” is a very gross understatement on my part. Do they know what they’re missing? Maybe. Are they afraid of it? Definitely. Some find out and they’re indifferent about it while others find out and it literally changes their lives because everything they’ve been taught about sex just got invalidated.

It can feel very damned good to have a guy suck your dick and it can feel very damned good to have a woman licking your coochie. We maintain and hold as true that only a woman knows what a woman wants; the reverse is true for men but, ah, we don’t talk about that in this context. And there’s a reason why this “truism” has been around for as long as it has been and even women who are “strictly dickly” have heard this – and they generally agree – but. There’s always that “but” that shows up and the same with guys although, eh, we’re not so much of a mind to admit that except to maybe say that “it makes sense…” but.

Many folks are of a mind that they aren’t missing anything where this is concerned but maybe even they’re wondering why there are so many people who are, um, not missing anything because they’ve added this to the sexual diet. Do I think they’re missing something? Yeah, I do – and it’s not just the sex they’re missing out on.

Okay… there’s nothing wrong with being just straight or gay – if it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it, right? Some people are bi because it is broken and some are bi because they knew something was missing – then found out what it was and the matter of “who” was providing what was missing becomes a non-issue – it’s the what, the sex, the intimacy and, yup, it’s a “different” way to get one’s cookies crumbled.

There is a reason why people who do this for the first time often say, “I didn’t know it could be like this!” or “Now I know what I’ve been missing.” Not so much “who” – although, sure, that matters to some – but “what” – another way to have sex and in addition to the way they’re already having it.

Do they know what they’re missing? Probably – and some are happy missing it… but that is and has been changing exponentially…

 
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Posted by on 2 January 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: A Kind of Self Doubt

I was sitting here, kinda/sorta paying attention to what the weather weenies on The Weather Channel were talking about and my mind changed channels on me and had me thinking about the many times I wondered why I’d have sex with other guys.

In the early days, shit, there was nothing to think about other than how much fun it was, how “nasty” it was, and relishing in the thrill of doing something boys weren’t supposed to do with each other and risking getting caught at it, knowing that the punishments could be severe. But as time marched on and the initial thrill of it kinda wore off, I’d find myself thinking about the why of it all and, um, sometimes when I was right in the middle of something.

I hadn’t yet learned how to push those distracting thoughts away and I’d find myself deep in thought as a guy was happily screwing me or, sometimes, I’d find myself sucking dick on autopilot because my mind was questioning why I was doing this “bad thing” in the first place.

Today, I still think about all the naysayers who insist that we don’t think about what we’re doing when we lie down with another man and I continue to beg to differ with those who say such things and more so since I’m fairly sure many of them have never had reason to contemplate their actions and any consequences thereof.

That little voice in my head would say, “What are you doing?” and my mental response would be, “What does it look like I’m doing?” and the little voice would be ignored but somewhere along the line, it changed tactics and instead of asking me what, it would ask me, “Why are you doing this?”

Oh, I clearly remember the first time this popped into my head and, it figured, while I was happily screwing a guy and maybe a good minute or so away from creaming his butt. In my head and nearly drowning out our combined moans and cussing, I heard, “Why are you doing this?” and it came around so loudly in my mind that I actually stopped screwing him; the question distracted me so badly that I wasn’t even aware that I was shooting my stuff into him and he was kinda giggling and squirming as my balls emptied.

The distraction seemed to last a long time but it was really only a few seconds or so but the question stuck in my head and it demanded to be answered.

Why indeed? Wasn’t it enough that a lot of girls would let me do it to them, from licking their pussies until they begged me to stop to that glorious feeling of releasing inside of them? Well, no – apparently not.

The question plagued me at times, had me doubting whether or not I was doing the “right thing” by having sex with another guy until one day, the answer to the question came to me… as I was cumming in a guy’s mouth.

Why am I doing this? Because not only does it feel good to do it, it feels pretty damned normal to do it. Do I know how wrong it is? Of course I do, just like I know that it being wrong is… wrong. I hadn’t quite figured out the reason why it was decreed to be wrong but I knew it and as surely as I knew my own name. Sometimes I’d find myself being… detached, like I’m just a spectator of sorts watching myself doing something with a guy.

It was a hyper-awareness, being in the moment but not lost in it – that’s the best I’ve ever been able to explain it. What made this even more interesting was the fact that I’d be… hyper-aware while eating pussy or sliding in and out of a girl and after a few times of being in such a disturbing state of mind, another answer came to me and, hmm, again when I was cumming in a girl who was moaning for me to shoot all I had into her.

It’s sex. Maybe not in the way it’s supposed to be done but sex just the same. It’s reverting to a more primal, basal instinct that’s hard-coded into me – and just as it is in everyone – but there’s an… inhibitor in place, that stuff that gets hammered into us that says there is only one way to have sex and if it’s not with a female, you’re doing it wrong.

Except, it’s not all that wrong. In the beginning, I had asked myself a question: Why does something that’s supposed to be wrong feel so good? And there was only one real answer: Because it’s supposed to feel good; they just tell us that it isn’t good when it feels good when having sex in a way that’s not allowed.

Whatever self-doubt I had been engaging in just went away. Well, maybe not totally because I was now very much aware of that “nugget of morality” that was still in place that would speak up at times when I had a dick in my mouth or in my ass, reminding me that my punishment would be to burn in hell for all of eternity.

And I’d blithely think, “Probably… but I’m not gonna be the only one getting deep-fried for doing this…” The self-doubt would hang around, poking at me, trying to make me second-guess myself as well as doing its best to make me regret jumping on this bandwagon.

“How many times have you not liked the way things went?”

“More than I wanted to be made to think about, thank you not so very much. And just so you know – and I know that you do – how many times have I been with a woman and not liked the way things went? What? Ya got nothing to say now? Yeah… that’s what I thought.”

“Asshole.”

It didn’t make sense to doubt myself and I thought that maybe I was because I didn’t know or have reason to doubt it before – and now this kind of self-doubt was trying to make up for lost time. It sounded silly when I first thought of it and it still sounds silly at this moment – but when you’re digging around inside of yourself and trying to sort shit out and put it into some kind of order and perspective, yeah, sometimes the things that comes to mind are just silly – but also tends to make sense.

But I also saw that this kind of self-doubt could affect others and now that I could recognize it in myself, I could see it in others. Am I really doing the right thing? Should I be doing this? Many questions generated not only in my mind but others as well and all because that kind of self-doubt wants to show up and shut things down.

I’m screwing a girl and once again became hyper-aware; I’m humping away inside of her, she’s clinging to me, her legs wrapped a bit too tightly around me as she’s humping back against me… and I understood it. I mean I really understood it. It was an epiphany, every question, every moment of that kind of self-doubt became a non-issue. The funny thing is that she must have sensed that I wasn’t “all there” because she stopped moving and asked, “What’s wrong?”

I remember looking down at her, deeply into her eyes before I looked down between us, saw that we were as close as two people can ever be (outside of being in the womb) and I said, “Nothing’s wrong – I just understood something I had been thinking about.”

I finished inside her and I understood what it all meant and the asshole that now lived inside my head saw it and put it into perspective – and it didn’t like that there was no real difference whether I was having sex with a girl or a guy… because it’s sex. I learned, in that moment of hyper-awareness that your body doesn’t give a fuck about who’s giving it pleasure… but your mind does give a fuck until you can learn to ignore the self-doubt, set aside those feelings of wrongness in a given situation, and just enjoy having sex since, um, it’s supposed to be enjoyed even though, yeah, sure – there are gonna be times when it’s not going to be so enjoyable.

Going forward, the asshole in my head stopped asking questions and that kind of self-doubt would sit in the corner and sulk because I wasn’t paying any attention to it. Asshole would just say, “You’re doing it again…” and I’d say, “You’re damned right I am!”

The asshole would try to fuck with me after the fact, saying shit like, “You know your stomach wouldn’t be all queasy and shit if you hadn’t swallowed that guy’s sperm, don’t you?” Yeah, I know… but I had fun doing it. And, yes – there were still the moments where I’d ask myself why I thought doing it with this guy was a good idea… but that was the asshole in my head trying to get some revenge on me for learning how to ignore it.

It was a good idea at the time; doesn’t mean things are going to go – or end – the way ya might think.

I can’t even remember the last time the asshole in my head – and that kind of self-doubt – had anything to say or, realistically, had something to say that I felt a need to pay attention to. What am I doing with this guy? I’m having sex with him – duh. Why? Um, because I wanted to and it feels good? Do I know I’m not supposed to? Yeah, I know it… but ask me if I really give a fuck over this not supposed to be done.

I don’t. I can have sex with men and women; I don’t regret it, don’t doubt any of it. It’s not always a good decision at times but that’s just the way it goes – it’s just an occupational hazard and one that anyone who wants to have sex just accepts as part of the whole thing. Things might not turn out well but most of the time, it always sounds like a good idea at the time and, yeah, sometimes it doesn’t – but let’s do it anyway because it just might turn out to the best decision you made in this moment.

The only question to be asked is, “When can I have sex again?” And the only doubts to be addressed comes in the form of who can I convince to have sex with me – but such a thing has always been in doubt because we all don’t think about sex the same way.

Someone asked me, a long time ago, if I had any doubts or regrets over being naked with another man and doing whatever with him and I said that if I had any – and I’m not saying that I didn’t – they are of no consequence; what’s done is done and while I can always second-guess or doubt my decision to have sex, eh, what’s the point in doing this when, again, what’s done is done. And, importantly, I understand this and, uh-huh – I’m not the only one who understands it.

It’s being human. Having sex. Doesn’t matter if I’m eating pussy or sucking dick or being as physically a part of someone as humanly possible outside of the womb. Because not doing this doesn’t make sense and feels wrong. This isn’t a fairy tale; it’s not even the accepted/ideal way to have sex – this is real-deal, real-life shit and shit that says that who you do it with doesn’t matter all that much as long as it’s being done and the outcome, well, it’s gonna be whatever it’s gonna be since it’s better to try and fail than to not try at all.

And not trying at all? That’s the real failure, the real reason that kind of self-doubt should rise up and make you question yourself about having sex. There is always the way it’s supposed to be and there’s the way it can be… and one of those ways involve getting a man’s cock hard and doing something to make it soft again and/or having a guy get your cock deliciously hard so he can make it deliciously soft. And if all of this happens with a woman – substitute clit for cock for her – okay, that works, too, because it’s supposed to work.

I have no doubts about this. None. Zero. I’m just being the way I can be in this and if the asshole that lives in my head doesn’t like it – and, by the way, the asshole still doesn’t like it – well, too bad.

I like it both ways and that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it.

 
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Posted by on 26 December 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Picking a Side Within a Side

Making the decision to go over to the bi side is a major one, hands down. But once it’s made, there remains the whole doing part; one must not only decide upon what to do but decide whether they want to be a top or a bottom and I’ll say “primarily” because it seems that guys who’d go either way are becoming a rarity these days.

While it’s fine and dandy for a guy to make such a decision for himself, the “problem” are the other guys who have also made such a decision and the tendency to run into guys who have chosen the “same side,” which has me wondering what happens when two tops or two bottoms get interested in each other?

It does happen and a lot of guys manage to bypass this, ah, conflict of interest so a top might be checking out another guy, find him desirable but upon discovering that the object of his lust is a top as well, sometimes, that’s a deal breaker and the hunt continues. Bottoms are… curious creatures these days – they want to be “the girl” in this from being the one to suck cock and definitely the one to get screwed but, sure, two bottoms can find each other interesting but upon discovering that they’re the same in this, can anything happen between them? I’d have to say, “Normally, no…” because in either situation, it’s like trying to make two magnets connect to each other by matching up their respective north poles which results in the magnets pushing each other away.

Way back when I first met and started communicating with Cityman, wow, he had these “grand plans” on being a top and sticking to it religiously because taking in the ass, well, hmm, nah, not his idea of a good time. I asked him, “So what are you gonna do when you hook up with a guy and he decides he wants to stick it in you? It’s not really all that unusual for two tops to hook up and suck cock but I’ve come across many a top who isn’t going to settle for just sucking dick – they’re gonna want to fuck and since y’all are already naked and dicks are hard, um, what would you do?”

Back in those early days of contact, he was uncertain about what to do in this situation but felt that if blow jobs were what was agreed to, then that should be the only thing that happens which makes sense… but isn’t always the reality of things because people do change their minds. Then I asked him, “Well, what are you gonna do when you’ve agreed to exchange blow jobs and something inside you, um, wants that dick inside you?”

Of course, he didn’t think – at the time – that such a thing could happen and said as much, prompting me to point out that if I didn’t know for a fact that it can happen, I wouldn’t have asked the question. I used these scenarios to teach him a lesson, that being, despite what was originally agreed to, one should always be prepared for those times when a prior agreement just might go out of the window, that and even though you’re a top, don’t ever assume that out of the clear blue sky, you’re gonna get the urge to be screwed.

I remember telling him, “You don’t have to believe me – you’ll find out soon enough!”

And he did, too – but I knew he would.

Some bottoms find that adhering rigidly to the role of being a bottom can be just as problematic. A lot of bottoms aren’t interested in having their cock sucked but, hmm, the guy sitting across from them resonates with them and enough for sex to happen but doesn’t it get interesting when two cock suckers want to suck cock and be fucked… but might not be of a mind to be sucked and/or do some fucking?

Yeah, it does… which makes being more flexible and adaptive a more favorable way to be. Like I told Cityman, it’s not that, say, getting boned is something you’re gonna do as a matter of course – you don’t have to if you don’t want to – but somewhere along the line, you’re gonna want to or it’ll be something that the moment just calls for and if you don’t learn how to wrap your head around this and develop the ability to adapt and be flexible in a given moment, your experiences are going to probably a lot less favorable, that or getting with that guy who you’re interested in having some carnal knowledge of ain’t gonna happen.

Facts are that there are some guys who don’t give a fuck which side within a side you’ve chosen for yourself. They wanna fuck you even if you’re a top like they are; likewise, there are pushy bottoms who will demand that you give them da business “like a man is supposed to” even if the other guy is a bottom just like they are.

What does a “rabid cocksucker” do when they find themselves with a guy who doesn’t want his cock sucked? Pretty awkward, wouldn’t you agree? Some guys are so strictly dedicated to their role that going with the flow of things is fairly anathema to them and what could have been the start of a beautiful friendship winds up circling the drain.

I think the dynamic kinda/sorta recognizes this dilemma because now there’s a “new breed” of guys who say they’re top/verse or bottom/verse and, well, that just makes me shake my head since my understanding has always been you’re either versatile or you aren’t but, okay, maybe it’s just a way to say that you’re a top – but you might bottom (and usually with the right guy) and vice versa.

Maybe. To me, it’s just as silly as those folks who insist that they’re “bi with the right person” because, um, duh, that’s the way it usually works. Still – and regardless to the labels – I think guys who are demonstrating a lot more adaptability and flexibility is a good thing because it’s been kinda/sorta proven that those who cannot adapt and are inflexible wind up missing a lot of good sex with really decent guys.

Those guys are usually the ones moaning and groaning about not being able to find a man to have sex with and because they’ve taken a stance and position and will not budge from it. Sure… they don’t have to if they don’t want to but that’ll guarantee that getting the dick you crave ain’t gonna happen as much as needed.

Have I ever mentioned how funny guys are about this?

 
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Posted by on 28 November 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Getting It Done

Once someone gets past the “why me” moment and decide that doing something is the thing to do, it’s now all about giving some thought about what to do and, importantly, who to do it with.

Figuring out what is probably the easy part and, for men and as I’ve written about, the entry level starting point is oral sex with another guy (and probably the same for women but, eh, they don’t talk about it so much). A lot of guys find their inhibitions slipping away now that they’re in a position to explore their feelings or, if they didn’t get hit by the truck that came out of nowhere, they can now do that stuff that they’ve been thinking about for the longest time from sucking cock to finally getting the answer to what it feels like to be fucked and have a load of spunk fired into them.

That’s the easy part. The hard part is trying to find someone and it seems to me that, today, a lot of guys make this more difficult than it has to be, that and one of the things they discover is that you can’t tell a bi guy from a straight guy just by looking at them and no one wants to hit on a guy and proposition him and then find out the guy ain’t like that and, oops, he might not be polite about being hit on for a sexual encounter.

Prior to the Internet and all the apps we see today as a matter of course, if you wanted some dick, you had to go looking for it or, if you were lucky, you’d be minding your own business and some guy would come over to you, strike up a conversation, then proposition you in some way and you’d have to make a snap decision to take him up on his offer or politely refuse. Going at it this was often more miss than hit – and depending on where you live, of course, but it remains true that if/when you wanted some dick, you had to put in some work in order to get some dick and the way you wanted it.

Today, the apps have made things wide open and using them gives a guy such a wide and diverse choice of men to engage with. I know in the early days of the apps, wow, there was plenty of dick to play with and from guys who were aboveboard and true about themselves, their intentions for wanting to get with you, and what, if anything, they expected. Sometimes it was just the “quick and dirty” hookup; meet me here or come over to my place and we can get it on, bust our nuts, go on about our business and maybe we can get together and do this again but if not, well, we still had fun.

But as time went on, using the apps got… complicated. Guys were very aware of the fact that the Internet allowed them a great deal of anonymity and there was – and still is today – a lot bullshit going on, from guys who’d talk a good game and enough to get you interested and then, when it was time to get it done, he was a no-show and if he bothered to explain his absence, most of the time, it was so lame that a blind man could see through the lies these guys would tell.

Don’t even get me started with the hyper-macho and overly aggressive guys you can find on almost all of the apps. While you’d think that the apps make it easier because there are so many men looking to do the nasty with other men, at times, they’re more of a problem than they are a lot of help. A lot of guys were successful with Craigslist… until a new law went into effect and Craigslist’s operators complied with the law and shut down that part of their service, leaving perhaps millions of guys (and maybe gals, too) without a source for this kind of sex… and now they’re looking for alternatives and having to rely on the apps which, again, can be quite the clusterfuck.

I see a lot of guys on the forum saying they haven’t done anything because they can’t find any guys… and what they mean is that they can’t find the specific kind of guy they’re looking for even if such a guy only exists in their minds but it seems to me that actually leaving the apps and websites alone and hitting the bricks – and like we had to do in the pre-Internet days – isn’t something they feel like doing.

Admittedly, it’s not all that easy to get it done when you’ve decided on this. It can leave you discouraged and frustrated to the point where they just stop trying to take care of their need to do this and then studiously try to ignore the urge. All I can say to these folks is to don’t give up and to look everywhere because you just never know when someone you can get it done with will show up and, sometimes, from unexpected directions.

Having the sex is easy. I know that guys fret over a great many things that makes them set conditions that are almost impossibly high and I don’t think they’re aware of this or, if they are, they stand on their right to set the bar as high as they need to but they’re the same guys who are always complaining about not being able to find someone compatible enough to do what they’ve been wanting to do since discovering – or rediscovering – their bisexuality.

When people ask me what to do about this, again, I tell them not to give up but I also tell them to give some thought about making it easier for someone to get at you by setting the bar lower; take a look at your preferences and the conditions you’ve put in place and minimize/simplify them; if you’re looking for guys with monster-sized dicks only, you’re passing up a lot of guys with “smaller” cocks who just might give you the thrills you’re looking for. Pay more attention to the person and what makes them tick more than just looking at them because what you see might not be as good as you think it is.

Most guys prefer to get it done with other guys who are similar to themselves; some guys want guys who are almost a polar opposite to the person they are – no secret that opposites attract, right? A lot of guys are seriously opposed to hooking up and experiencing the dreaded blow and go and while I understand this, um, being opposed to this isn’t getting you the sex you’re craving but as I’ve said a lot, casual sex is almost forbidden in the M2M world and to the point where just merely hooking up for a blow and go moment is the last thing on their list of things to do when they want to get it done – and get done.

Guys worry about the health risks and this, too, is understandable but, guys, that’s what they make condoms for – use them and make it a non-negotiable item or, as they used to say, “No glove, no love!”

Sometimes, in order to get it done, you just gotta “take a chance” whether it’s a hookup situation or one that you’ve patiently crafted over a period of time; at some point, you’re gonna have to make the decision to do it or go back to sitting on the bench. It’s a scary moment for those men and women who are on the verge of having that moment of truth that will reveal if they can really do what they want to do or not and I don’t think or believe that’s there’s really a way to avoid “taking a chance” in that sense.

What I do know is that if you don’t, guess what ain’t gonna happen? Then give some thought about the levels of frustration and a few other things you’re gonna have to deal with. What I know is that many men and women kinda say, “Fuck it…” and just do it and discover that they’ve been sitting on the sidelines and worrying about this or that… and find there wasn’t anything to worry about.

“Why did I wait so long before doing this?” is a sentiment I hear a lot of and while not every first experience has that “storybook” happy finish, many find that, overall, it was better for them to get out there and do something about the way they’ve been feeling – they’ve gotten their feet (and other stuff) wet, gotten over whatever fears were fucking with their heads and, importantly, now know how to proceed in this going forward… and if they choose to do so… and many do.

Because that shit just feels so fucking good, it seems.

Make sure you’re gonna be safe; look for opportunities wherever you go because you never know when you’re gonna run into someone who wants the same thing you want. If you can, make it “easier” for someone to get you into a bed while not compromising what I’ll call your core stance on doing it like this. You can get what you want and the way you want it but, to me, it just makes sense to make it easier to get it rather than making it hard on yourself. Develop a sense of adventure because diving into this particular pool is, indeed, an adventure; it’ll have its ups and downs and you’re gonna learn some stuff about this that you need to learn – and I’m telling you this so that you don’t have to learn these things the hard way.

Don’t be so… picky and superficial; some of the best sex I’ve ever had in this has been with people who ain’t even close to being the “Ken and Barbie” type but their personality and mindset have been right on the money and the sex was quite gratifying.

If you’ve been thinking about getting it done, it’s on and up to you to make this happen and in the best way you can but, in my opinion, if this is what you want to do, you have to be willing to put in whatever work is necessary to get it done and to get done.

If you’re not willing to do the work, well, I don’t know what to tell you except that if you’re not getting what you want and need, the blame for this lies completely on you.

I maintain that if this is something you really want and need to do, you will find a way to get it done so you can get done.

 
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Posted by on 11 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Finally Thought About Something!

Well, that didn’t take as long as I thought it would and, unsurprisingly, the thought popped into my head… while making another cup of coffee and changing the filter in our Keurig brewer.

The other day and while clearing out yet another spammer in Tumblr, I saw a clip of two men having sex. Normally, I note these things and don’t pay much attention to them but this one actually got my attention so I sat and watched the whole thing.

A “younger daddy type” was laying the pipe to an Oriental twink but it wasn’t this stereotypical coupling or the expected multiple position changes, a rather passionate kiss between them, or even the expected ass-to-mouth cock sucking moment – or the fact that the twinky guy was sucking “daddy’s” dick in the beginning that got my attention:

It was the way they were going about it. None of that hair pulling, slapping the other guy around; no gratuitous ass eating other shit that I find to not only be outrageous but totally unnecessary. The twink gave “young daddy” a couple of nice, long, slow sucks, laid back and there’s the close-up shot of hard dick going into not-so-tight ass. No “Oh, my god he’s fucking me so good!” nonsense; none of that, “Yeah, you know you want this dick, bitch!” shit and most definitely no rough stuff.

Just one guy fucking another guy without any drama queen or uber-macho bullshit and I had thought, “This is the way it should be – just two grown men giving into and enjoying that primal urge that drove them to do this in the first place.”

As the scene changed to show a really close-up shot of “young daddy” reinserting himself while the twinky guy was in the missionary position, I thought about the many people who’d freak out seeing something like this and how the thought of being fucked in the ass can even freak out bisexual men and I remember shrugging and I know it was my lack of a bias about this that made me shrug and think that, well, it is what it is and what it’s always been.

Thoughts like this were floating through my mind as I watched the clip, noting how easy they were together and as if this might not have been their first time together. Put the dick in, take it out, repeat. No trying to beat the guy’s asshole down or trying to hammer him through the bed – just “young daddy” fucking an Oriental twinky kind of guy.

The scene changed – they’re back in the missionary position (and after going through all the other very predictable ones) and the camera zooms in real close and in time to see “young daddy’s” cock buried deeply in twinky guy’s bottom and furiously pumping away.

I said to myself, “Hmm…” as the twinky guy was being inseminated; none of that pulling out for the money shot and spraying spunk all over the place; none of those fuck faces you tend to see in such things, and no overly done moaning and groaning, either.

Just “young daddy” emptying his balls into twinky guy’s butt. They did do that other gratuitous thing; “young daddy” pulls out in the close up and you see the “proof” of insemination when twinky guy pushes the spunk out of his butt.

I felt myself frowning at this and thinking, “Was that shot really necessary? I mean, it was obvious that homey was pumping it in, ya know?” I’ll admit that there’s something… sensual about seeing a dick delivering its spunky load and no matter who’s on the receiving end of it. In a lot of porn, eh, you usually don’t see the pumping action since, usually, the guy pulls out and jerks off all over the place. Or if he stays in there, seeing the pumping might not be so… prominent since in most cases, the guy had already gotten rid of that first load and now he’s on his second wind and, well, his unloading isn’t so… vigorous.

The clip ended and I closed Tumblr with my mind flooded with both a lot of memories as well as a lot of thoughts about what I’d just watched. People make such a big deal about people having same-sex sex and more so when the participants are both male. They see or know of the act – but they don’t see the raw, primal beauty that’s there to be seen and more so when the participants – and even opposite sex ones – aren’t trying to over-emphasize what they’re doing.

They may see people on a screen doing shameful and “nasty” things… but not seeing people doing what we were designed to do and, yes, even when the participants are both male. I thought about how… juvenile we can be about sex and how what we know can happen – and what does happen – makes us hide our heads in the sand and as if it shames us to be so intimate with each other and in the many combinations we can do so.

My thoughts then turned to the many guys who would have loved to be the twinky guy in the clip or the guys who’d want to be the “young daddy” and I shrugged to think about how difficult men can make it when, in fact, they want to be that guy in the clip I watched. They’re so… conditional, demanding in a way, and all about what they specifically want and not really giving a fuck about what they could be doing, that which is possible but, sadly, not on their preferred list of things to do with another guy.

That clip, to me, represented a display of M2M porn and as I thought it should be; again, no overacting, no outrageous displays, facial expressions, or any of the other shit that plagues and, I think, sullies M2M sex. It was sex in it’s most raw and primal way and if either man in the clip was worried about catching something because it was done in the raw, well, you didn’t see it – all you saw, at the end, was “young daddy’s” cock pumping away to complete the act of sex and intimacy and not so different from when a man is pumping away inside a woman, whether it’s porn or real life sex.

It was intimate and that, I think, is what struck me and held my attention. I thought about the bottom guys on the bi forum and how they’re embracing the intimacy of being taken, screwed, and inseminated with care; not necessarily lovingly in that romantic sense but intimately. Yeah, some guys are the raving sex-crazed lunatics you usually see in M2M porn as they impose their will and lust on a guy who’s acting like he’s being murdered and, supposedly, loving being fucked that way and, I think, absent the intimacy that should be displayed instead of showing how our lust, as men, can often make us behave badly.

No wonder there’s a lot of women who don’t wanna give us any pussy.

As I cranked up my Xbox One to go back to working on the oceans of lava I was trying to make go away, I thought about the male size queens, those dudes who defiantly say that if the other guy’s dick ain’t eight inches or better, don’t even bother to ask. “Young daddy” wasn’t gigantic but he wasn’t small, either. He didn’t have that long, fat, thick dick that a lot of men say they’d give their left nut – and their asshole – for… and I thought those size queens would have been disappointed at “young daddy’s size” and, as such, would have passed on what would have been a very intimate fucking.

Those who prefer the guy fucking them to bring lots of noise – and roughly so – would have been disappointed because “young daddy” wasn’t in a hurry… but he wasn’t really taking his time, either although, with the clip’s editing, the five minutes shown seemed to take much longer than that.

As I proceed in my task to make all that lava go away, I shrugged to myself about all of it; it just is what it is but, perhaps, not what it could be if we ever get around to getting our collective heads out of our collective assess and see this kind of sex – and even girl/girl sex – as being as normal and natural as anything else we do when we want and need to have sex.

I’m dropping block after block of red sand into the huge lake of lava that was on my agenda to get rid of and it’s something I’ve gotten so used to doing that I don’t even think about, leaving me thinking space to think about how squeamish we can be about sex – period. From M2M or F2F to group sex, open relationships and marriages to poly relationships, we often behave as if having sex in these ways is something we’re not supposed to do but we do admit or otherwise concede that sex – and having sex – is, in fact, normal… as long as it’s boy/girl only and no one else gets invited or it’s not done in the same-sex mode.

I shrugged again and even sighed when I again recognized my own lack of bias when it comes to these things because, sure, been there, done pretty much all of that stuff I just mentioned and have seen F2F up close and personal enough times to be in awe at how easily and passionately women can make love to each other and, yeah, sometimes feeling jealous about it or envious at the level of intimacy before my eyes… and even when that level of intimacy was something new for someone to experience.

I mean, who knew, right?

Not wrong, not nasty, not perverted – just sex and, perhaps, the way it’s supposed to be in giving in to one’s desires and need for sex while relishing the intimacy and, really, not being all that particular about who they’re being intimate with if that’s the way things should go in that quest for sexual satisfaction and the intimacy that goes along with it, the inherent beauty to be seen in sex, and that we don’t always pay attention to these things – but we’re quick to talk about what’s wrong about it and even quicker to lay shame on those who love that raw, beautiful, passionate and intimate moments when they’re having sex, either in the preferred way or, really, in any way that makes them happy.

Yeah, all of this popped into my head while making coffee and changing the filter and now my head is once more empty – at least for this moment.

 
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Posted by on 8 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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