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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Then and Now

There’s something I’ve noticed over the years and something I was just reminded of just moments ago as I perused the bi guy forum:  Some guys really believe that there’s some difference between what they might have done as a youngster and things they might do, let’s say, past the age of 18.  They’ll call it fooling around, experimenting and I’ve even heard guys state that in their youth, they’ve given another guy some head but didn’t know what they were doing but it sure was fun.  And I’ve asked guys who think like this, “What makes you think something you did when you were 13 is any different from what you did last night at your current age?”

One guy said, “I didn’t know about the word bisexual…”

I replied, “Neither did I but that didn’t change anything.  I ain’t busting your ass, man, but I’m just curious because you’re not the only guy I’ve run into that thinks that there’s some difference between then and now; if only one guy had said that, I probably wouldn’t pay much attention to the subject but I’ve heard a lot of guys say that, ya know?”

I had a theory of sorts – it’s a coping mechanism, a little spin in our thinking that draws a line between then and now.  Growing up, not having sex with anyone before you were old enough was number two on the list of Things You’d Better Not Do, with having sex with another boy holding the prime position at the top of said list – which didn’t stop too many from doing it anyway.  Granted, a guy who got into doing it to girls early on – but also did some stuff with boys – might not have known about the word “bisexual” and if they had heard it in passing, wasn’t aware of what that meant – and that goes for guys who might not have done anything… but the feeling was stomping all over them like they were grapes for wine.  The admonishments against this aren’t just about doing it – you’d better not even think about it so if you were thinking about it even in a rudimentary, instinctual kinda of way, little warning lights could be going off inside your head.

I felt that because we tend to get a pass on things we do when we’re kids (unless it was something very serious), yeah, I can see how some folks could look at this differently and that bible verse about childish things and putting them away comes to mind except, um, giving your friend “Billy” a blow job and him giving you one (with or without sperm being involved) isn’t exactly what I’d call a childish thing.  Can one really claim youthful ignorance in this?  I dunno… maybe one could plead the fifth in the sense that they might not have known of the consequences of what they were doing but could they really plead the fifth if they did, indeed, spend some time sucking cock, engaging in mutual masturbation, or even experiencing moments of intercrural sex at the least, all-out anal sex at the best?

The phrase, “Ignorance of the law is no excuse” comes to mind and a phrase that I always thought was kinda fucked up and more so if you have any idea how totally confusing the law is even to lawyers.  But it means that whether you know it or not, there are laws – it’s just bad juju because you usually don’t find that out until you break a law you really didn’t know about.  So, um, if you were told not to do things like this, were told of some kind of penalty if you did, and you did it anyway, can you really say you didn’t know?  Does that mean if you and your boy “Joey” spent a lot of time sucking each other’s dicks when y’all were 13, that’s somehow different from sucking some guy’s dick today?

If there’s a difference at play here, I’ve not seen it.  Now, we can get into a discussion about peer pressure, the effects of the onset of puberty and that incredible rush of testosterone that can slam into us like the proverbial Mack truck – and they are quite valid… except if a guy was doing things before puberty ran them over.  I’ve heard guys say that they did it once and never did it again and that makes it different because, in their minds, maybe they believe that doing it once at summer camp when they were twelve – and that they’ve not done it again – somehow means it never happened.

The human mind is a damned peculiar thing, isn’t it?  One guy on the bi guy forum actually said that before he was 15, he’d done it several times with boys (as well as with girls)… but that it didn’t mean anything… and I blinked real slow like, not because I’ve not heard this one before but because there are guys who still use this “excuse” to put a wall up between that which they did then and what’s on their minds about it now.  I’m thinking that if you were out behind the wood shed and working your dick in and out of “Pete’s” mouth and ass back then, yeah, it sure as hell had meaning and even more so today when you’re expressing a great desire to do that exact same thing – and the sooner, the better, please and thank you.

It’s psychology and I don’t ever claim to be an expert in this field but even a blind man could see that when it comes to this, there’s something not quite right at work here.  I think some of it really is about how we, generally, tend to treat the past as if it never happened.  What I don’t get is how a guy could, at the least, have the feelings associated with bisexuality way back in their day, have those feelings today, and believe that there’s some difference going on; I don’t get how a guy could discover back when he was 14 that getting screwed in the butt was a fantastic experience but, in the here and now, desperately wants get screwed in the butt… but not see or acknowledge that the only difference between then and now is that, back then, it was probably fairly easy for them to get screwed but, eh, not so easy today.

Does age really play into this perception of difference?  On the one hand, okay, sure, “Bert” might have been into diddling boys and girls and before he was, say, 16, and, sure, he might not have known about the word bisexual; some of the guys on the forum expressed the thought that they might have been gay – but that’s before they knew the word “bisexual” existed… but does not knowing what that word meant really establish a difference in what was actually done?  Even I admit that I was up to my pretty brown eyes doing things in the bisexual mode before I even learned there was such things as a bisexual mode and I clearly remember saying to myself upon that discovery, “Oh, that’s what I’ve been doing!  Wow!”  The real difference?  I now knew there was a word for it and a word I hadn’t known of… didn’t change or excuse what I’d already done did it?

So maybe a lack of knowledge could be seen as a defining difference, that not knowing that if you’re feeling some kind of way about boys and girls – or actually doing the nasty with boys and girls – it’s bisexuality… but does that lack of knowledge really excuse what, if anything, really happened.  Some truly believe it does and I’m not sure if this is some kind of defense mechanism our brains activate when we do something we might have known we shouldn’t have done (or thought about) or it’s some form of plausible deniability that draws that line between now and then.  I’m not saying that people who do this are doing something wrong by saying what they did in their youth in this regard is different from what they wanna do about this as an adult – I just find it horribly interesting to see people still drawing that line and many decades after I first heard of such a thing. Yes, a big difference between then and now is, using myself as an example, what I know and, yup, I’ve found myself saying at times, “If I knew then what I know now…” and then kinda slapping myself because, um, I didn’t know then what I know now… and I was still very much doing it just the same.  Other than what my adult self knows, what’s really different, then?

Beats the hell out of me.  I’m not a fan of “actions speak louder than words” because when it comes to bisexuality, we tend to say that this isn’t the case, using our words to insist that whatever actions we took at the time (and, yes, that includes even thinking about it) had no meaning whatsoever or loudly insisting that just because you did it way back when doesn’t mean that you’d do it today but glossing over the fact that if you’re saying this, it doesn’t ever change the fact that you did it – even if you could claim ignorance over the specifics of whatever you did then that you wouldn’t do now… or even what you might really and secretly want to do in the here and now.

Gives ya something to think about, doesn’t it?

 
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Posted by on 3 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Trepidation 

From time to time, I think about the emotions in play when a guy (or even a gal) is on the verge of stepping off the edge of the pool and into the deep end and, today, the emotion that came to mind is trepidation.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines trepidation as, “a nervous or fearful feeling of uncertain agitation” and there’s nothing that fits this description more than knowing with a great deal of certainty that you want to take that first time plunge but also wondering if you’re really doing the right thing.  For the record, you can be quite experienced at this and still run into moments where trepidation arrives to sit on your shoulder and poke you with cold fingers.

On the one hand, “Bruce” knows and has, in his own way, proven to himself that he wants – no, needs – to have the sexual experience of sucking another man’s dick and being sucked in return.  There’s no way to really explain how “Bruce” knows this with  such a high degree of certainty but what causes the trepidation is the sure and certain knowledge that he’s not supposed to even think about engaging in any kind of sex with a man.

The social implications are daunting and more so should friends/family were to ever discover that “Bruce” even has these illicit desires, let alone contemplating doing something about them.  This source of trepidation is bad enough, but not as bad as the trepidation our hypothetical guy is feeling about whether or not he can actually go through with this and enjoy it as much as he’s probably done within the privacy of his thoughts.

It makes sense in that how can one be sure that they’re going to enjoy something they’ve actually never done for real?  Yes, you can, indeed, run multiple and probable scenarios in your head; you can research this kind of sex from a lot of perspectives and sources and, as such, you can assure yourself that, yeah, whenever I get around to doing this – and the sooner, the better – it’s gonna be enjoyable.  Hell, you can even assign percentages based on whatever information you’ve gathered, oh, like, there’s a 95% chance that it will be enjoyable.

You still have to actually do it, though and more trepidation comes to visit because there is still a chance that the pooch will get screwed and definitely not in a good way because, invariably, Bruce’s thoughts are going to turn to every possible thing that can go wrong, from getting caught in the act to having the proof that what he thought was gonna be the rush of a lifetime was, in fact, worse than his worst nightmare.

Trepidation will make a guy (or a gal) keep their toes out of these waters; being overly nervous about stepping (or diving) in right up to being agitated because they’ve become indecisive – do I do this thing… or don’t I?  Again, on the one hand, the need to do this is powerful but getting up the nerve to do it – and then worrying about how it’ll all turn out and the social implications can freeze one in place and frustratingly so.

How does our hypothetical guy handle this?  He’d have to trust himself and no matter what his “gut” is telling him.  Sure, he’d have to develop a level of trust in the other guy and he’d better have a set of plans in place to deal with the consequences of his actions.  To that end, I’ve seen guys say, “Fuck it…” and dive in despite the trepidation; I’ve also seen them say those exact words… and stay out of the water.

You can be experienced in this and there’s still a bit of trepidation in play because, well what you wanna do involves another person and people aren’t always so easily predictable and it doesn’t take a whole lot for a situation to experience a turn for the worst.  Even the most experienced guy (or gal) understands that there are just too many variables in play or, as someone once told me, the moment of absolute certainty never arrives.  Then, in the face of this, it’s all about doing everything you can humanly do to achieve the desired outcome… or not doing anything at all… then being agitated over the consequences of your inactions.

Even better, the wise words of Jedi Master Yoda:  “Do or do not – there is no try.”

 
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Posted by on 30 January 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Any Time You Need a Friend

Quite a few years ago, a close friend of mine visited me and the first two things I noticed when I answered the door was (1) he was visibly upset and (2) he had been drinking… at 10:30 in the morning.  Once I asked him what was wrong, it all came pouring out – he’d been dumped by a girl he was feelings serious about.  Poor guy… but for him?  Not all that unusual since he rarely had a girlfriend longer than a couple of months.

My heart went out to him as, through all the tears and blubbering, he talked about how broken his heart was.  I went over to him and hugged him as he completely broke down… and the next thing I knew, we were on the floor and sucking on each other’s dicks until nuts were flowing not once but twice.  Afterward, well, um, I was stunned or, actually, still stunned; I was no stranger to sucking dick… but this guy… and someone I’d known for a very long time and thought – up until this happened – that there wasn’t anything I didn’t know about him?

We were sitting next to each other, me deep in thought and him looking confused (or whatever he had been drinking was kicking his ass harder) when he said, “I don’t know what made me do that!”

Shit, neither did I and while I wasn’t exactly feeling bad about what had happened, I was concerned about any impact on him; when a guy does this for the first time, it can be emotionally devastating so instead of asking him why he went after me I asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…, no…, fuck, I don’t know,” he said just before he leaned over and went down on me again; we, um, we spent quite a bit of time sucking each other until neither of us could get it up.  As we retrieved our pants and underwear, he seemed to be doing better as in not as buzzed or distraught as he had been hours earlier.  He looked as if there was something he wanted to say; I’m not sure what it might have been but what he did say was, “Thanks; you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”  He left and I spent the rest of my day figuring out what the hell made this happen.

Emotional distress combined with alcohol was the culprit that day – but that didn’t explain why he came over the next day and we did it all over again but in my mind, it brought up a rather pointed question:  How far would you go to help a friend?

Cityman and I chatted about this a little the other day as it relates to bro jobs, not so much in that bro jobs happen but in the  sense that if you knew your boy was in “distress” and you could sense that a blow job would be of great benefit to him, would you offer to provide it – and I’m not sure (at the moment) if being bisexual or not truly plays into such a decision to give or receive.

You see, the perception is that men are emotionally closed off; the truth is that we’ve been conditioned not to display, ah, let’s call them “tender emotions.”  We’re not supposed to cry but being angry, while not being cool or civil, is expected of us; likewise, we display lust (and to the chagrin and dismay of women at times) but displaying love, eh, not so much.  We keep a lot of emotional shit locked down inside us and that’s actually unhealthy for anyone to do but I’ve seen where a guy can be akin to a pressure cooker that’s about to explode and when he does, an explosion into anger isn’t the result and under a certain set of conditions, what happens is an unexpected blow job.

You’ve heard the saying, “Only a woman knows what a woman needs?”  The same is true about men and, I swear, I’ve been around guys whose pressure cooker is about to explode and I’ve instinctively known that the thing that will keep a bad explosion from happening is a different explosion and one initiated manually or orally.  I mean, fellas, how many times have y’all been hanging out and giving another guy the business because he’s been acting in a way that screams, “You need to get laid, son!”  You just know it even when he denies it, right?

Doesn’t mean that said guy is gonna get multiple offers to get his dick sucked unless, say, the booze has been flowing like Niagara Falls; any more, ain’t no telling what could happen.  But if you were hanging with a good/close friend and he was down in the dumps and you could sense that pulling his dick out and jerking him off would make him feel better, would you offer that form of succor?

Once, I was with a friend who was bent out shape and we spent hours talking about what was bothering him.  We parted ways with him feeling better but, maybe an hour later, he calls me and sounds troubled again; I ask him what’s going on and he replied, “Um, damn, can you tell me why I had an urge to suck your dick and why I really wanted you to suck mine?”

Keep in mind that he didn’t know I’m bisexual, okay?

He was upset and embarrassed by this and I did explain to him how under certain emotional stresses, yeah, such urges tend to show up unexpectedly; no, I didn’t think he was gay or otherwise weird; no, I wasn’t at all offended.  When he asked what I would have done had he given in to that urge to blow me I replied, “Nothing; I guess we would have been sucking each other’s dick because, after all, we are friends, right?”

I did tell him that this wasn’t the first time I’d heard something like this so it wasn’t something I found all that unusual.  He didn’t ask me if I’d ever done it and I didn’t volunteer that I had done it in that situation many times… but he did say, “I guess I know who my real friends are…”

When Cityman and I discussed this, he brought up the social implications of supplying that kind of help to a friend; would the friendship be destroyed or could an additional problem be created?  Both are quite possible and without getting into some boring detail, I’ll just say that it depends.  I’ve seen both things happen just as I’ve not seen either thing happen; some embarrassment, sure, but hey – we’re boys and I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?

Now – and in my opinion – the funniest version of this has been when I’ve been hanging with a guy and he rubs his crotch and says, “Man, I wouldn’t mind having my dick sucked right about now!”  Really… um, why not just come out and ask if I’d be interested in a 69 with you?  I’ve replied, “Yeah, I know what you mean!” – and then sit and watch his mind at work trying to decide if he wants to out the offer on the table or not.  I’ve sat, highly amused, and have listened to guys repeat this much-needed desire – hint, hint – but I’ve always been of a mind that if that’s what you want to do, man up and ask me; at the worse, I politely say no and, no, I won’t mention that you mentioned it.

Yes, some have manned up and have run it up the flagpole, hoping I’d salute it; sometimes I have, sometimes I wouldn’t even if you paid me because it’s not so much the situation as it is the person involved.  Yes, I’ve had some of them toss out this onto the table and I’ve not reacted to it, and they’ve said later, “You know, I was trying to find out if you’d be down for some head…” – and I’ve played dumb and said, “Really? I thought you were talking about finding some babe to blow you!” – and then shrugged in a nonplussed way.

While the bro job is being touted as a new and trendy thing horny guys are getting into, it’s not all that new and certainly not trendy.  I do think that since we seem to be able to sense this need in each other, there’s a “newer”‘sense of – let’s call it acceptance for lack of a better word – where two guys kinda/sorta say that they can do this (a) because that’s what friends do for each other in times of need and (b), uh, dude, I won’t tell if you won’t.  Indeed, a lot of guys are discovering that it can be easier to get your bro to blow you than it is convincing a babe to do it… provided you could find a babe who’d have this particular conversation with you to begin with; no offense meant ladies but y’all know how you can be about such things.

If your boy had this need and it would take care of whatever was bothering him, would you help him out?  Hell, for the ladies reading this, would you help your girl out if you knew you’d make her feel better if you fingered or even went down on her?  Or would you – man or woman – say that it’s not your problem and let that friend suffer because while you might be friends, the friendship ain’t that good or close?

 
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Posted by on 10 January 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  There’s a Moment…

…when the two of you are getting undressed, that you realize that in a matter of moments, you’re about to engage in something and something that, in the minds of many, isn’t exactly according to Hoyle because the other person who’s undressing right along with you is, at least in form, just as male as you are.

It’s a rather reflective moment, as your eyes take in the sight of him getting naked; maybe you’re able to see his dick and maybe it’s still flaccid or innthe process of becoming erect; maybe you’re looking at the curves of his backside and other aspects of his body and wondering what his body will feel like against your own.  You know he’s also watching you, his eyes capturing and storing every detail they can and, in all likelihood, having some of the same thoughts you’re having.

You know what’s about to happen – all of that was agreed to before the two of you were in the same place at the same time – but in this quiet space, maybe you’re asking yourself why you’re about to engage in sexual congress with him and, no, it’s not always as rhetorical a question as that may seem; things aren’t as obvious as they appear to be because in the deep recesses of your thoughts, you know that the now-naked person before you is supposed to always be female… except you also know that, um, that’s not the whole truth of things and more so since this isn’t the first time you’ve been I this exact situation… and if it is your first time, well, you’re about to find out something interesting.

In that moment, I’ve actually been asked, “What are you thinking about?” – and it’s not an easy question to answer because I’m thinking about so many things and much of what’s going through my thoughts have nothing to do with what’s about to happen and that’s despite the fact that I’m trying to blanket my thoughts so that the more prevalent ones are in focus.  There’s always the anticipation, always the wondering of how everything will hash itself out and other things that will not be known until they actually happen.

Once things begin, that moment passes; now it’s not so much about thinking as it is about doing although that’s really another set of thought and depending on how many times you’ve done this, it really feels like being on autopilot more than anything resembling conscious thought.  But that initial moment is like, wow, what’s going on here?

And what you eventually realize is that the answer is, “Nothing that nature didn’t intend to happen…” and the issue isn’t as much about what you’re doing but who you’re doing it with.  All after the fact, you can find yourself pondering this, revisiting the moral implications of, say, having spent a period of time sucking in each other’s dicks until ejaculation is achieved.  You might even shake your head over it all as you think about how many would find this highly acceptable if the person who induced you to ejaculate was female but since that person wasn’t – but the exact same result was achieved – well, that’s perceived to be a problem.

Since such think can cause headaches, you set it aside and devote some thought toward the next time you find yourself in this moment, when you’re undressing before and for someone and without regard to that person’s sex.  It’s a special moment and one that, perhaps, not many actually give much thought to; after all, you’re about to get laid so what’s there to think about?

Ya might might be surprised…

 
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Posted by on 10 November 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Oddballs

Once upon a time, homosexuals were the oddballs of humanity, a section of people who, for inexplicable reasons, eschewed the “normal” man/woman sexual dynamics and established a dynamic that was similar to the accepted (and mandated) norm but obviously quite different.

Once upon a time, homosexuality was an accepted practice (for lack of a better word right now), once considered a rite of passage, an indicator of status, and even a form of worship to the gods at the altar of Sappho.  Indulgence wasn’t mandatory but in some early cultures, if you didn’t indulge, you might have been considered an oddball for not going with the flow and aligning with the status quo.

Over time, the practice went underground – what, you think the down-low is some new invention? – because religion decreed such behavior to be a sin and those early cultures were converted – and sometimes by force and under pain of death – to this new way of thinking.  If you engaged in homoerotic behavior, well, things wouldn’t go well for you should this predilection be discovered and the punishments were both harsh and final.  Even if things didn’t get… terminal, one could find themselves shunned, banished, ostracized, reviled, cursed, and just too different and our built-in fear of the other – that which is not like us, that which is different, created a minority demographic and one that was feared to the point where homosexuality was declared a mental illness; some of the “cures” would have made Torquemada’s dick very hard over the sheer inhumanity of those cures for homosexuality.

But homosexuals started to fight back until they were no longer the sexual oddballs of humanity; sure, they’re still outside of the accepted norm thanks to their same-sex debauchery (the nasty critters) but, really, despite how they like to live and love, their goals aren’t all that different when you get right down to it… but those damned bisexuals are a different story!

The nerve of them wanting to have it all instead of being like everyone else and choosing a side… and staying there!  What’s wrong with these oddballs?  Where did they come from?  Are they even real?  Don’t they know that they’re upsetting the natural order of things?

Once upon a time, these very same questions were asked about homosexuals.  What I often find both sad and amusing is that it was once said that homosexuals didn’t exist and that they couldn’t exist, the same thing people are saying about bisexuals… and it’s said that we are in denial about things?  Society chooses, and for reasons this author may never really understand, to repeat the exact same mistakes they made with homosexuals by denying and vilifying the existence of bisexuals when it stands to reason that if homosexuals have always existed, um, so have bisexuals.

And isn’t it interesting that a lot of the angst against bisexuals is coming from those who were, at one point, probably the most reviled people on the planet, namely those former oddball homosexuals?  Once again, the fear of the other has raised up to strike out against that which is different from the accepted norm.  Don’t misunderstand; there are still many who continue to see homosexuals as a crime against nature but, okay, ya can’t beat them, ya don’t wanna join them, but ya can finally admit that outside of who they choose to live, love, and relate with, well, again, they’re not all that different since they, too, pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Those damned bisexuals, however – the greedy bastards – want it all, the best of both worlds and some of those inconsiderate and immoral motherfuckers have the audacity to spit in the face of conventional thinking and say that things like monogamy makes no sense to them and that, gasp, humans aren’t naturally monogamous but conscripted to be this way!  Something must be done about these heathens, these blasphemer, these hedonistic non-believers in the one true way to exist!

As you may be aware, the smear campaign against bisexuals is going hot and heavy… but just like the campaign against homosexuals, eh, this campaign isn’t running on all cylinders because, damn it to hell, despite all the efforts to date to debunk bisexuality, shit, there are actually more of them than we could have known about – what the fuck is going on here?  Is there anything we can do about these oddballs and make them go away and stop rocking the boat with their greediness?

No, not really; again, that was tried with homosexuals and it didn’t work, did it?  Indeed, doesn’t trying to make bisexuals go away fit the definition of insanity that’s making the rounds these days?  It’s not as if bisexuals are the only sexual oddballs these days… or ever, for that fact… but just as homosexuals once were, bisexuals are the “new” threat to the accepted norms, threatening the sanctity of monogamy and, my God, promoting heathenly behavior like polyamory and that new thing called the bro job that men are doing!

Are we – bisexuals – really oddballs?  Are we a threat to the status quo, a greater offense to the so-called natural order of things?  Or are we really not all that different from those who say we’re different, that we have the same objectives in life that they do but without the restrictions they’ve placed on themselves?

 
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Posted by on 17 October 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Six Little Words

Yesterday, I was having a weird moment, one where I was bored even though I was doing something – playing Borderlands:  The Pre-Sequel, a game I’ve been playing ffor so long now that I can play it and not really pay attention.  While transitioning from one area to another, which takes a few seconds, I was looking outside at the trees waving in the breeze and having been outside earlier, man, it reminded me of the late summer days before Labor Day and before the first day of school.

It also reminded me of a lot of those days when I might be hanging out with someone and neither of us could think of a single thing to do other than sit around wondering what we can do.  Now, I knew in those moments what usually happened and now it was just a matter of hearing (or saying) six little words… but six words that, while small in size, tended to speak gigantically:

“Do you want to do it?”

At this point, if you didn’t know what “it” was, there was no hope for ya.  The answer to this question was always, “Do you want to do it?” – yeah, answering a question with a question is considered bad form but we did it anyway.  This would be followed with, “I want to do it if you want to do it…”  What was funny about this was that we both wanted to do it and if you couldn’t tell by the way we were both fidgeting, well, um, a quick peek elsewhere would indicate a desire to do it.

All of that for a one word answer:  “Okay!” and now it’s all about finding a place away from prying eyes – and those damned nosy, pesky adults – so we could do it… but that wasn’t usually a problem; where I grew up, there were more places to do it than you could shake a stick at and whichever one was closer worked.

In the here and now, I’m wiping out about a dozen bad guys on the screen and smiling to myself as I remembered that great rush when doing it was just moments away even though every admonishment about never doing it with a boy would rattle around in my mind like a marble in a tin can, all loud and obnoxious and distracting but not able to defeat the rush of doing it.  I mean, what’s the big deal anyway?  Grownups said it was bad, evil, nasty, and a sin before God for which one could spend eternity burning in hell… but none of them were willing to explain why so many people were doing something that was supposedly really bad… and they sure as hell wasn’t gonna explain why something so bad felt so good to do.

Um, not that any of us were gonna ask an adult that particular question unless we were in a mood to be asked some questions that would prove to be painful were we to answer them…

I tossed a “Homing Tesla” grenade into a room and patiently waited about a second for it to explode and electrocute the bad guys I knew were in said room before charging into the now empty space, my weapon reaching out and touching the next set of bad guys with evil, lethal intent… while thinking about the mood or atmosphere when we’d get to where we were gonna do it and get rid of our clothing.

Then it was about getting it going and that incredible 69 thing was found to be a great opening act with boys or girls… but unlike with some of the girls, there was no talk about not shooting that stuff into someone’s mouth or promising not to do it; we just laid down and got to the business of sucking each other’s dick until that stuff got shot, which we found to be so much fun that fucking each other, while nice, wouldn’t be on the list of things to do… well, not right away, anyway.  If it happened, okay, but if all that took place was repeatedly sucking each other off until neither of us could get hard again, well, that worked and the, ah, mess was way easier to clean up and hide; ya didn’t have to explain to anyone why some parts of your underwear were, um, kinda crunchy and flaky.

I’m now facing the boss at the end of this quest and while I almost mindlessly start going about reducing the boss’s long life meter to a sliver of its original length, I was thinking about being in that moment, sucking on and dick while having mine sucked, just lost in the sensations even as the marble in the tin can is still noisily rattling around and feeling that moment of triumph and pleasure to feel the other guy shooting his stuff into my mouth and, hell, yeah, that incredible “I feel like I’m gonna die!” feeling as I shoot my stuff into his mouth.

The boss is history and now it’s spilling out a major load of stuff – cash and weapons but, damn, the pickings are slim this time around but I can gather them up and do other things with them as I head into the next room that has more goodies to be looted.  I head in there and snatch them all up, some I can use in the next phase, some that will be hopefully turned into better weapons or, barring that, sold for cash – no such thing as too much money when you play this game.  I’m on autopilot and doing what I need to do…

And thinking about being in the moment when he’s lying on top of me and moving his dick in and out of my butt, how nice it all feels and especially when he shoots his stuff in there, which is different from when one is on top and doing the shooting; that damned marble is still rattling around albeit not as loudly as before but, eh, who cares about that?  We just got done doing it and we’re outta there and right back to where we were before those six little words were uttered and maybe even immediately understanding that those words will be uttered again and with the same results… after a bit of cleaning, of course…

 
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Posted by on 4 September 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  More Tales from the Hood

It’s the summer of 1969 and with school starting in a couple of weeks, I was feeling down in the mouth thinking about my last year in junior high school.  I just was not looking forward to spending 180 days  sitting in classrooms and being bored out of my skull… but my problem was rather simple because I was looking forward to starting high school next fall so in order to do that, um, I had to get out of the ninth grade first.

I even remember saying something to my mom about not looking forward to the coming school year and how much I wished I could drop out… and her smiling at me and saying that I could drop out if I wanted to.  For a split second, I was giddy… until I realized that what she said wasn’t what she meant – and you can tell that I didn’t drop out because I’m alive and writing this today.

I’m so bummed out it isn’t funny and if all of this wasn’t bad enough, I couldn’t find anyone to hang out with so I decided to hike across town a little and head for my favorite spot along the Brandywine and let the rushing waters comfort me as I contemplated things.  Twenty minutes later, I was ensconced in the coolness of the woods, the trees just now starting to show color changes in their leaves, the clear waters of the Brandywine rushing along its path and it was so quiet…

Until I heard a male voice whisper, “Oh, yeah, that feels good!”

I’m both startled and miffed; how dare some horny motherfuckers be in “my” spot and getting all nasty and shit!  Even with all the trees surrounding me and muffling any street noises, I could easily tell that the voice I heard was twenty feet to my right, just on the other side of a thicket of stuff that was rife with thorns except for one clear space and a space I knew very well since I used it to do some of my dirt, too.  It was perfect in that you could stand right next to that spot and not see anyone in there, provided they were very quiet… and whoever this guy, this invader, was he was anything but quiet as he was obviously egging someone on to suck his dick real good.

One part of me wanted to just leave and go to my second favorite spot… but I was in such a shitty mood over the school thing that I felt violated, my privacy invaded so I decided to scare the shit out of whoever these fuckers were who had the audacity to invade my space.  I crept across those twenty feet silently, heading for the one break in the thorny camouflage where I could look into the clear space and see what was going on before literally – and hopefully – scaring the shit out of them.  I crouched down and peeked in…

And saw two white guys I’d obviously never seen before, one lying on the ground, his pants and stuff puddled around his ankles, the other guy in the classic lean-over position, his head bobbing up and down as he sucked dick, his face flushed red with effort.  The guy being sucked as red-faced as well, his mouth open, his blue eyes open as well but staring straight up as he humped his hips upward in time other guy’s downward movement.

“Oh, my god, it’s… oh, shit!” the guy being sucked blurted out, his body going stiff – he was busting a nut and the other guy kept right on sucking and swallowing.  My own dick was so hard it hurt and I wanted to jump in there and get some of this action myself but I was frozen in place because I wanted to see what would happen next.

The guy doing the sucking sat up and smiled, asking the other guy quietly if he liked that; the other guy was still caught up in the throes of his release and couldn’t speak – but he was nodding vigorously enough that I wondered if he was making his head hurt.  They kinda stayed where they were until they got their shit together; the guy lying on the ground took a deep, cleansing breath and said to his partner, “Let me do you now!”

They had a bit of a hard time rearranging themselves in the close confines of the brush and I almost gave my presence away by laughing when the guy who was lying down backed his butt into a cluster of thorns; yeah, I’d had that happen to me a few times and I knew it didn’t feel good.  They got settled and the blow job began in earnest and, in my opinion, kinda loudly with all the slurping and moaning going on.

My dick was screaming bloody murder at being trapped inside my pants and underwear and I wanted to free it and even give it a few strokes while watching what was going on – but I didn’t dare move and was now thankful that I’d settled into a comfortable position.

The kid on his back on the ground was babbling incoherently, fucking into his friend’s (I guess they were friends) mouth until he shuddered and held onto the other guy’s head as he spilled his own load, the lucky bastard.  The other guy seemed to have a little difficulty handing whatever was being pumped into his mouth; he gagged a little and wanted to lift his head but he couldn’t seeing as how it was being held in place… but he managed to deal with it and I watched with a kind of sadness as some spunk flowed out of his mouth.

But I’m thinking I’m now in danger of being discovered, thinking that since they’d both gotten sucked off, they were gonna get ready to leave… and there was no way I’d be able to move quickly and quietly enough before they heard, then saw me.  The guy who’d just giving a nice blow job said, “Ready for me to stick it in?”

“Hell, yeah,” the other guy said with a smile before neatly flipping over onto his stomach and lifting his ass into the air a little; his friend got on top of him, transferred some saliva from his mouth to his hand to his dick and gave a a quick thrust downward and hitting the spot because his boy moaned happily and said, “Oh, yeah, you’re in me!”

My dick was in my hand before I realized it was in my hand; I didn’t even know how I got it out without alerting these two guys but I obviously had and I was seconds away from a creamy mess watching these two fucking and listening to the guy bein fucked moaning and telling his buddy how good it was feeling.  The guy on top was working hard and fast; he was doing a great job staying quiet but from where I sat, rubbing my dick, I could easily hear his grunts and that nicely obscene sound of their bodies slapping against each other and the equally obscene squishy sound of an asshole being fucked.

It bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as I busted my nut and, for a brief instance, kinda panicked as that first shot flew upward and my eyes tracked it as it fell to the ground and splashing on some leaves; my release flowed over me and I forgot about them and if they heard that splash hit the ground, they didn’t react to it.

The guy on top announced [loudly] that he was gonna cum and he did because his friend said, “God, I can feel it shooting in me…!”  When he was done, he pulled out, looked at his watch and said, “Hurry up and fuck me – we gotta get home before mom and dad get back!”

Say what?  Shit, I was so busy being stealthy and watching the action that I never noticed the resemblance they shared with each other!  Holy shit!  The brothers switched places and I guess the one guy took “hurry up” to heart because he was pounding dick into his brother’s ass as fast as he could manage.  Okay, time for me to get moving; I slowly got up from where I’d been sitting, never taking my eyes off of the scene before me as I very slowly backed up the way I came until I couldn’t hear the sounds of sex happening although I did hear home boy when he busted his nut – and I was sure that the people on the other side of the Brandywine heard him, too.

I had just gotten back to where I had been sitting when I heard the brush rattle and I had the nerve to look surprised as these two very disheveled kids appeared out of the hiding place; man, they had that classic “deer in the headlights” look – eyes all big, mouths hanging open and I knew they were both thinking, “How long has that motherfucker been sitting there?”

I just waved at them, all nice and friendly like, told a little white lie that I hadn’t known anyone else was around and that they startled me and saw them both relax, secure in the knowledge that their secret was safe and after telling their own lie of just passing through, they headed off through the woods, presumably on their way home before mom and dad got back from wherever they’d gone.

Needless to say, whatever I had on my mind about going back to school was long gone…

 
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Posted by on 22 August 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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