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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Size Issues

Some time ago (and I don’t remember exactly when) I wrote something about bi guys being more of a size queen than some women can be and a lot of bi dudes are very much into “the bigger the better” and to the point where if you don’t meet some dude’s size requirements, guess what ain’t gonna happen despite any other qualifications?

What got me writing about this is something I just saw on the bi guys forum… where someone asked if the size of a bottom’s cock is important or not.

First thought:  What?  Let me read that again…

Second thought:  What?  Why the fuck would that matter if the guy on the bottom isn’t going to be using his dick on you?

This comes under the heading of just when you think you’ve heard it all, you find out that you haven’t.  Okay, so, when it comes to giving head, smaller tends to be easier to suck and anyone who has issues sucking large cocks – while fun and challenging – might agree that sucking a guy who’s only five inches when hard is less stressful than trying to work over a fat, ten-inch dick.  If you’re looking to be screwed, okay, if you attend the school of Bigger Is Better, of course you want the guy with the stupidly huge dick trying to test the elasticity of your anal muscles although, um, okay, if homey were more average-sized, that might work out in your favor later.

But if you’re the one laying pipe to a willing guy’s backside, why would you even care about how big his dick is?  I commented that, many years ago, I had noticed something:  Tops were well-endowed but bottoms were below what’s considered to be average.  It seemed to me to be a dominance thing:  If “Hank” had the bigger dick, then he’s the top and if “Benny” was smaller, his role was to take the bigger dick in his ass.  I even talked to some guys who were average or below and some of them said that because they weren’t “overly” endowed, that lack of cock on their part dictated the role they were to assume – being a bottom.  I even saw this “behavior” with guys who were grossly overweight; because they didn’t have that swimmer’s physique or some other athletic form, their role in this was clear – they’re the ones on their knees or on their backs taking the dick.

What got me kinda rolling my eyes is that quite a few of the men who responded to the posting has never been a top or a bottom; they’ve yet to have any kind of sex with a man.  I sat and read responses before I commented and I was seriously wondering why cock size would matter where bottoms were concerned?  Men are visual creatures when it comes to sex so I’d suppose that if you’re dick deep in some guy’s ass, looking at his cock either dangling in the wind (if he’s on his knees doggy-style) or lying in the creases or against his belly can add to the visual stimulation of watching your dick invading the bottom’s body… but that kinda assumes that your attention is even on the size and/or state of the other guy’s dick beyond taking note of it after undressing.

I admit to being a bit baffled about this one, just as I admit to my bafflement might be due to the fact that I don’t place a lot of importance on the size of a guy’s dick so while I can allow that size does, in fact, matter to some guys, um, why would it matter if you’re fucking him and there’s no chance of him fucking you?  I’ve seen lots of M2M sex where the guy being hosed down had had the bigger dick and the guy doing the hosing wasn’t even close to being what anyone would consider to be big.  You can go on just about any porn site and see examples of hugely endowed guys getting nailed in the butt, which tells me that, despite porn being what it is, the size of one’s dick doesn’t determine the role one chooses to be in.  I can even see, in real-life situations, where a bottom would be interested in the size of the dick about to plow his backyard… but why would a top be interested in this outside of maybe giving the bottom some head – and that’s provided the bottom even wants to have his dick sucked to begin with?

Surprisingly (or maybe not), there are some bottoms who hate being sucked; they feel their role as bottom means they do all the cock sucking and handle the “dick in the ass” chores and this is more prevalent than one might choose to believe.  It’s not all bottoms who feel this way and some do insist that before you fuck their ass, you suck that dick… except, um, some tops aren’t what anyone would call a cock sucker (but some are).  Yeah, and you thought having sex with women can be complicated?

I’m going to keep an eye on that thread just to see if the original poster comes back and explains a bit more about why he feels that the bottom’s cock size is important.  It just seems to me that if a guy is looking to top another guy, what is of greater import is whether or not the propositioned bottom says yes or not.  It also amazes me to see guys who haven’t had the sex of any kind yet developing these kinds of preferences although I suspect that those guys who are less endowed feel that they’d enjoyed being dominated by a much larger cock… except dominance, such as it is, doesn’t really depend on the size of one’s dick – that’s all attitude and mindset and the huge dick is just a very big stick used to beat someone with and, apparently, without mercy is the most desired way.

Just when you thought that women were funny about sex, you find that men can be even funnier…

 
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Posted by on 1 June 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Breaking Down Barriers

On the bi guy forum, I revisited a post entitled, “Does Race Matter?” and, honestly, I wasn’t surprised at how many of the guys commenting says that it does and I admit to being somewhat disappointed about that.  You see, being bisexual is about breaking down the wall that others try to keep in place between being heterosexual and homosexual; it’s about liberating one’s self from the usual dogma about sex and dogma that is designed to be divisive up to and including “staying with your own kind.”

The men commenting cited things like a lack of attraction to men of other races and some – predictably – have preferences they’ve set up that excludes more men than they include.  It’s not that people don’t have preferences – we all have them and even I do… but where is it written that once you establish a preference you can’t change it?  One guy said that he’s never been with a Black man and he’s sure he wouldn’t like it if he did; yep, someone asked him why and he declined to answer but, as it tends to do (and has done for as long as I can remember), if you’ve never done it, how do you know you’re not gonna like it?  What makes us behave like this and, importantly, should we behave like this and more so when, as bisexual men, the one thing we have in common is our shared desire to have sex with other men and women?

To be bisexual means stepping outside of long-established comfort zones or, a bit more familiar, getting out of the boxes that society has built for us and has convinced us to stay in no matter what.  Is there a point of climbing out of the box of heterosexuality and into the bisexual box… but then seal yourself into yet another box because if you’re a Hispanic man, you wouldn’t want to have sex with an Oriental man?  Does it make sense to break out of the heterosexual box… but then impose limits on yourself because of the color of someone’s skin, or the size of their dick, or whether they’re gym rats or couch potatoes?

Apparently, to some people, it does make sense…

If I don’t want to have sex with someone, it’s because there’s something about them that I’m not feeling… but it’s not because of the color of their skin, what kind of physical shape they’re in, the size of their dicks and other things that, while having these things as preferences allow us to get what we want and in the way we want it, they also put limits on one’s ability to experience the diversity to be found in sex and, yes, even as a bisexual.  Sure, you could say that if you’ve had one dick, you’ve had them all… and that’s not accurate since, um, dicks come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors, don’t they?  You could say that if you’ve had one man, you’ve had them all… except that’s not accurate either since, duh, we are not really the same no matter how much we try to homogenize and generalize each other.

A lot of guys who commented did say that the color of the other guy’s skin didn’t matter one bit and they, like myself, employ the KISS principle – Keep It Simple, Stupid:  Is he clean and healthy?  Does his dick work in the way we need it to?  Do we like him enough to want to have sex with him?  Is he willing to do whatever with you?  Is he your idea of an asshole/jerk?  If the answers are, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, and no,” and, of course, if the time and place are right, then it’s on.  Now… if you’re a white guy and there’s a Black guy who meets this criteria… why would you not go for it?  If you believe that your preferences take precedence over your desire for sex, maybe you tell the guy thanks but no thanks… but by letting your preferences drive the car, how do you know that you just didn’t pass up a fantastic sexual experience?

Sometimes I think we get confused about preferences and principles or we treat them as one and the same.  Take the above-mentioned KISS thingy:  If the answers to those questions are all “yes” then, no – principle says that you don’t ever have sex with anyone who is an asshole, cunt, or whatever derogatory word you wanna use for someone who falls into this category.  This is a matter of principle… not a matter of preference unless you firmly believe that preference is always a matter of principle.  Now, let me say at this point that if this the way you think, you are well within your rights as a human being to think this way… but I’m the guy who’ll ask you why you think this way and simply because I’ve always been curious as to why we do behave in this way about a whole lot of things… and whether or not it really makes sense to, say, not like broccoli just because you don’t like the way it looks… but you’ve never tasted it.

Like, I know I can’t stand liver… because I was made to eat it or be hungry growing up; I didn’t like it then and, today, you couldn’t pay me to eat liver.  That’s experience at work… but if an Oriental guy passes my KISS test – and let’s say that I’ve never had sex with such a person – why would I say no to a chance to broaden my sexual horizons?  Does it make sense to shy away from a sexual experience when, at this point, I’ve not had an actual experience like this?  I’ve often wondered if our ingrained “fear of the other” and fear of the unknown plays into this.

Does race matter?  Should it matter?  Of course, readers and friends, you’re gonna keep your own council about this.  I know that we – humans – have a bad habit of allowing bad experiences influence future actions, like, having sex with a Hispanic person could have been so traumatic in some way that you’d never have sex with another Hispanic person even if they were the last person on earth and/or your life depended on it.  And, yes, it’s normal that if we have a bad experience, we’d rather not have another one so if you had a bad sexual experience with a Black man, sure, making sure you don’t have a repeat makes sense… except the reality is that just because you had a bad experience with that guy doesn’t mean that other bad experiences will happen if you go for it again because, um, despite what some folks like to say, we really aren’t all the same, outwardly or inwardly.

I also know that we tend to take the word of others when it comes to this; someone has a bad sexual experience and tells someone else about it… and then that person decides, nope, I’m never gonna do it with a (add some ethnic shit here) because it didn’t work for them… but how do you know it wouldn’t work for you since, um, they had the bad experience… but you didn’t or haven’t?  Like, a Black dude once told me that he’d never do it with a white guy and went on a rant about the one time he had a shitty sexual experience with a white guy and then added that no self-respecting Black man would ever have sex with a white person.  Of course, he then asked me if I’d have sex with a white person and I said, “Sure, why not?  Just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean I’d have one…”  Let’s say that he greatly lowered his opinion of me and more so when he learned that not only would I have sex with a white person, I’d been having lots of sex with all kinds of people, color, race, and/or ethnicity notwithstanding… and because it could be done.

And I’d never say that I’ve not had a bad sexual experience with people – I’ve had my share of them… but I’m not gonna let something like having a bad experience with another Black man stop me from having any future experiences; it would stop me from doing it with that particular guy again and that does make sense.

So to bring this particular rant to an end, I’ll do so by saying this:  Bisexuality represents a flexibility in our sexual behavior but when we start slicing and dicing things to the nth degree, being bisexual becomes inflexible.  I prefer not to have sex with effeminate gay men not because I don’t like them but because, um, they make me insane trying to be more like a woman than the real thing.  Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep with an effeminate gay man if he passes KISS because the real bottom line is that it’s sex and the sex is only going to be as good as the people involved can make it and that isn’t determined by the color of one’s skin as much as it is determined by what’s inside their head and their lust, passion, and desire to have sex.  I prefer not to kiss guys because, uh, some are just lousy kissers… doesn’t mean I’d never want to kiss a guy going forward and I’d never say that I wouldn’t because I don’t know what the future might bring.  I prefer sucking white dick because, er, um, I like the way white guys taste… but that doesn’t mean I’d say no to a Latino or an Oriental or a Black man if he passes the KISS test.  If he doesn’t pass the test, principle says nothing can happen and shouldn’t because one just does not set themselves up to fail or be disappointed when it’s kinda proven – by failing the KISS test in any way – that you’d be making a mistake just for the sake of busting a nut.

Thus endeth the rant…

 
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Posted by on 27 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Use Me Like the Slut I Wanna Be!”

On my daily visit to the bi guy forum I saw some postings that kinda made me go, “Hmm…” as a lot of guys who have yet to do the deed with a guy are saying what the title of this scribbling says.  Quite a few of these guys have said that they want a guy with a really big dick (or a BBC individual) to just really and seriously give them the high hard one and the rougher that can happen, the happier they’d be.

I tend to find it both amusing and troubling that these men, being as inexperienced in the ways of M2M, have a desire to be subjected to another man’s lust in this fashion; amusing because this thinking is almost straight out of gay porn that can be seen today and troubling because, um, guys, if you’ve yet to be exposed to a man’s lust, you really don’t know what you’re asking for and getting yourself into.  Now, there are some guys who want to be made slutty in a more “romantic” and “loving” kind of way, something you rarely see in gay porn which seems to be more about one guy ravaging another and doing things that even as experienced as I am, makes me shudder.  What I wonder is why some of these inexperienced guys are professing a fondness/desire to really get beat down in that fashion; is it because they’re under the impression that this is the way men are supposed to have sex with other men… or is this something in the personalities of quite a few men who feel that their role in the M2M arena is best served by getting screwed in such a frightening manner?

One guy said he fantasizes about a Black man with a ten-inch (and very thick) dick just hammering him unmercifully and repeatedly and if this guy happened to bring a bunch of similarly endowed friends to the party, so much the better; a member who, by his comment says he’s experienced, indicated that, um, dude, be careful what you wish for and more so if you have no idea what it feels like having a mere five-inch cock in your butt.  Some guys confess to playing with dildos and anyone who owns one knows you can get them in some inhumanly large sizes… which isn’t the same thing as having an overly endowed guy banging away inside your asshole; it’s not even close because even if a guy were to employ such a huge toy, he’s gonna use it on himself in a way that, hopefully, isn’t going to cause any irreparable damage… while there are going to be hugely endowed guys who aren’t going to be so careful about reaming your ass out.

Another guy said that he got greatly turned on by watching a video of a BBC dude who, at first, was jamming all of his dick down the other guy’s throat and holding his head in place as the poor guy on the receiving end gagged.  Then the BBC dude bent the other guy into position, wrapped both of his hands around the guy’s throat, and choked him while just hammering his long, thick cock in there.  I’m reading this and visualizing the action as described and I thought that if some dude tried going that route with me, there’s gonna be a funeral and it ain’t gonna be mine; I’m reading the comments from a lot of guys who not only thought this was hot and damned sexy, it’s something they wanna experience for themselves.

And I asked myself, “Are these motherfuckers out of their ever-loving minds?”  I just do not pretend to understand why there seems to be a lot of guys who think this kind of aggressive sex is fun; I know that, obviously, there are men who are into it but y’all know me:  It’s not enough to know that guys like being fucked like this but why they like being fucked like this.  When I say that the psychology of male bisexuality is fascinating, it can be an understatement at times because even as long as I’ve been “studying” this, there are things that just defy explanation and even the guys who are experienced and deeply into this kind of sex are unable to accurately say why getting seriously beat down appeals to them so much.  Indeed, the kind of sexual beat downs that can be seen today makes things I’ve experience in my younger days look more than tame or, really, like those dudes weren’t even being aggressive in their pursuit to bust a nut at all.

If, as I suspect, gay porn is responsible for this mindset – in part or as a whole – this is just someone’s idea of what M2M sex should be about:  Men totally and completely dominating “lesser” men and using them in rather brutal fashion as they use sex as a weapon to, I guess, prove their dominance.  One guy complained that when he watches gay porn, he rarely sees the “tender side” of M2M where the guy being fucked is being treated kindly and with respect and appreciation and I know he’s not seeing many depictions of this because, um, such “wimpy” and less demonstrative sex ain’t selling DVDs or making guys drop their money on web sites where more “violent” displays of a man’s lust reign supreme.  In their minds, who wants to see two guys having sex in a loving, gentle fashion when the real money and potential excitement is showing an overly endowed man giving some poor hapless guy a sexual beat down to end all beat downs?

Yes, to each his own and whatever floats your boat… but I’ve not been able to figure out why a guy who has never even sucked another man’s dick would want to be fucked in such a manner…

 
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Posted by on 19 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Time is the Enemy

When it comes to bisexuality in anyone, there are lots of things that can be perceived as being an enemy, like public opinion, for example, but quite often the enemy is time, as in finding the time to indulge yourself and having enough time to get it done.

It takes time to find someone suitable and to find a suitable locale; it takes time to become aroused, takes time to reach full erection, takes time to reach one’s ejaculation moment and yet, at least among men, there are those who know they don’t have enough time to get it all done but try to do it anyway – and then find themselves somewhat displeased at the results.

What spurred this thought?  I was cleaning the junk out of Tumblr and once that was done, the first item was a guy standing in what had to be the handicap stall in a men’s room; he pulls out his cock and is soon joined by another man who also whips his dick out and now the two of them are furiously yanking on their dicks in an obvious rush to bust that nut.

These guys are obviously in a hurry and their body language said as much to me because there’s a risk that someone will hit the head and notice that, hey, there are two pairs of feet in that stall!  It’s not that it’s unusual that guys will go to the men’s room to get off but because there’s a rush to do that, then expected result is almost bound to be delayed because you’re trying too hard to hurry up.

In casual hookups, there are times when there’s not a lot of time to do a thing; maybe someone has to get back to work or get back home before a wife or girlfriend realizes they’re gone or they have to hurry up and beat the place they told their woman they’d be and, yep, some guys want to rush to the end of the story because they’re worried that someone they know will see them entering or leaving an area they’re not known to frequent.

And I’ve often wondered why we do this to ourselves and more so since this lends itself to the stigma that we are indiscriminate and prone to acting without thinking.  It also lends itself to a certain level of dissatisfaction just because we might not want to (or be able to) devote a broader amount of time to, say, give a more thorough blow job.  Sure, ya might manage to bust a nut in record time… but was rushing really worth it?

I know we can be very opportunistic – it’s just the nature of being male and since it’s not always easy for bi guys to identify each other, if you get a chance to get some dick, you take it… even if you really don’t have the time to really enjoy the moment.  Back to the two guys in the handicap stall…

The guy seen in the opening of the clip is displaying frantic body language and he’s even gesturing to the other guy in a hurry up fashion. The second guy is trying to stretch the moment out, alternating between furiously jerking his dick and letting it go for long seconds before resuming.  Dude #1 busts first but Dude #2 is still pulling and stopping… and Dude #1’s body language indicates that he’s not happy about this as he shakes some sperm from his fingers and then points to Dude #2’s cock.

Dude #2 finally busts his nut and the clip ends but the body language of both men just before it ends displayed some dissatisfaction and I thought, “Was that really worth it?”  Sometimes, the pressure to perform isn’t about technique ormeven endurance but a matter of time, as in being in a rush and that sense of impatience that can make a sexual act less glorious than expected.

I get that there’s a certain kind of rush at play here and anyone who has ever had sex “publicly” knows just how naughty it is and the greater the risk of getting busted in the act, the greater the rush… but time is still the enemy not just because a sexualmact takes time to begin and end but there’s the mental pressure of knowing the clock is running really fast along with being very mindful of the surroundings and that can create a level of anxiety that might prove to be counterproductive to why you’re hurrying up to do this in the first place.

I also get that, sure, you do whatever when and even where you can do it but if you walk away from it feeling as if it could have been better if you had the time, well, there’s a lesson to be learned here.  I’m never gonna say that sneaking in a quickie is a bad thing – they can be fun and satisfying and most quickies aren’t really about a time crunch, are they?  Yeah, you can actually take your time having a quickie, can’t ya?  But when you know – or can reasonably assume that you really don’t have the time for a “proper” quickie, yeah, still a lesson to be learned here if you do it and wind up feeling less than satisfied afterward.

 
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Posted by on 13 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Just Sex?”

I was just going through forum items on the bi guy site and was reading new comments to a post where the author was “whining” about dudes who are all about the sex with other men but not so much of a mind to establish a meaningful relationship.  I don’t blame or condemn these guys for wanting things the way they want them but, admittedly, I find it fascinating to read how these guys think about something that, by their own admissions, most haven’t actually done yet.  The author, like so many of the men here, has a thing against casual sex and that anything they could do in this regard is considered to be cheap, tawdry sex and sex without meaning and substance.

When I see them write stuff like this, it’s not that I don’t understand where they’re coming from; the most ideal situation is to find one guy and in a FWB mode, hang out with each other with and without clothing.  It’s safer, provides a level of investment that’s comfortable and, most of all, it’s not casual sex… and I find myself wondering if these men who have this mindset really understand the full scope of male bisexuality.  The author seemed to be appalled that there were a lot of men reaching out to him and weren’t all that interested to hear his life story – they just wanted to know if they can meet and get each other off in the NSA mode.  I laughed when I first read the post because it reminded me of how some women tend to ask us, “Is that all you ever think about?”

As it turns out, um, yeah, pretty much – we’re just wired like that.  It’s a reality that the guys who bitch and moan about NSA hookups don’t seem to want to accept and, of course, it’s not that there are men who are into the NSA thing but why they are; the problem for them is that if the other guy isn’t of a mind to speak to this, you’ll never know the answer.  Sometimes, it’s about time or, really, the lack of; relationships of any kind takes time to develop while it can take a whole two seconds to say, “Yes!” to the proposal of a blow job.  Since a lot of guys are doing this in the underworld of the DL, time is of the essence and the sooner things can get to popping, the better because for it to take a long time can make others suspicious, like a girlfriend or a wife; some guys are so closely scrutinized (or otherwise horribly busy with day-to-day stuff) that their trips to the DL for some cock are limited and, as such, it’s about cutting through all the lovey-dovey stuff and getting right to the business at hand.

Some guys want to avoid anything that looks like a relationship and the most dreaded emotional entanglement, falling in love with the other guy; as weird as it might sound, having sex with another dude isn’t “as gay” as the possibility of falling in love or, damn it, having him fall in love with you so the best way to keep this from happening is to not be in a position for this to happen… so you bypass the “getting to know you better” part and get right to making dicks hard and making them soft again.  Some guys are already in a relationship so getting into a meaningful and substantial relationship with a guy, while not really a bad thing or idea, just complicates an already complicated situation so, of course, the idea here is to make things less complicated if and whenever possible.

Yup… some guys are just really arrogant and conceited assholes and have attended the school of “less talk, more sex” and even I have a dislike for guys who behave like this; you’ve seen me write at times about guys who’ve contacted me and demand that I let them fuck me (which I ain’t even into anymore) and that if I don’t, well, I must not be a real man.  It’s an occupational hazard for bisexual men and the nature of the beast… but what I find interesting when the membership starts riffing against hookups and the lack of personal investment is simply this:  Do these men know anything about men?  Better still, um, how can you be a guy and not know how we tend to behave and more so when our dicks get hard?

There’s a perception at play here and I will now apologize to any women reading this and say that I mean no offense or disrespect at all:  Men are easier to get into bed than women are because men tend to be more no-nonsense about it.  Here’s the truth:  While, comparatively speaking, this is true, um, men can be more difficult to have sex with than women are known to be because there are a lot of bisexual men who aren’t fans of casual sex; if you’re not gonna be into them, don’t want to take the time to know them as a person, it’s a huge deal breaker.  If you don’t show the desire or potential to be a repeat and invested customer, well, you’re a sorry sack of shit for thinking you can treat me like I’m just a piece of ass.  But this gets better because a lot of these guys who bemoan the quick and dirty hookup have also said that they have no real desire to be in a “committed relationship” with another man and they say it as if a FWB relationship isn’t a relationship.

If ya thought women can be funny about sex, men can be even funnier when you take a closer look and the clincher is that a lot the guys who pitch a bitch about this have yet to have their first M2M experience and they also spend a lot of time wondering why they can’t find someone to have that first experience with.  It makes a kind of sense that some women just aren’t all that fond of us because 80% of the time, we have sex on the brain; yes, Virginia, sometimes, that’s all we do think about… but I ask again how you can be a guy with sex on the brain, want to have sex with another guy… but expect him not to have sex on the brain as well?  Is it me or does it sound just a tad bit hypocritical (or, perhaps, naive) to want to establish something with relationship overtones – like, getting to know each other a lot better – but, at the same time, don’t wanna be bothered with relationship-type things, like dating?

Finally, I’m not saying that the guys riffing about this aren’t within their right to do so – I just find it interesting when they do riff about it and more so when their only sexual experience with men lies only within their fantasies of having that first real experience…

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What’s It Like?”

I’ve written about this before but since this blog is about what’s in my head, my visit to the bi forum a little while ago had posts from a lot of guys who’ve yet to take the plunge wondering, “What’s it like to (add something here)?”  I’ve allowed that even with my writing ability, I have a hard time explaining what it’s like but I understand that those details are couched in terms that there aren’t any words for and if there are words for them, um, I’ve yet to find them.

What’s it like to have a dude sucking your dick?  Well, that depends on what you’re thinking about:  The act itself… or the person doing it.  Some think there’s a difference and even a major difference when the only real difference is the sex of the person doing it; the act of being sucked – and outside of technique and other stuff like that – is pretty universal.  What’s it like to suck dick and sucking the guy off?  A bit harder to explain because there are so many intangible thoughts in play that about the only thing you can say about this is, “It feels good.”

What’s it like to get screwed?  Whew, that’s kinda tough.  There’s a topic on the bi forum about this and a bunch of guys who have never (or have yet to) feel the real thing are suggesting and recommending using fingers and assorted toys and even getting pegged by the old lady to find out what this is like… and while it’s close, it’s not the same thing as having the real thing worming its way inside you.  I’m not saying it wouldn’t feel good to have one of those “new” prostate massagers in there but even having a five-inch dick in your ass is really difference and I’d say more so because the guy attached to said dick, um, doesn’t have an off switch per se.  Even I can’t find words adequate enough to describe what it’s like to be exposed to the full fury of another man’s lust other than to say it can be thrilling… or the scariest thing you’ve ever experienced.

While there’s nothing wrong with a guy speculating about what it’s like to experience these things, methinks there’s a flaw involved here, i.e., you get to thinking one thing and even believing it to be true – and, yes, the human mind does work like this – only to find out that, say, having a nine-inch dildo poking you in the butt is seriously different from having a nine-inch dick with a really horny guy attached to it hammering away at you and, um, at the least, going through the motions of leaving something of himself behind… in your behind.

I know these guys watch gay porn to get an idea of what it’s like – and because they say they do – and, there’s a few flaws here as well.  Yes, one can get an idea of what it’s like… and they could discover it’s the wrong idea and all because of how gay porn is scripted and edited; you’re not getting the full story because what you never see is the behind the scenes preparations that take place and, oh, yeah, the two guys you’re looking at on the screen might not be gay or even bisexual – they’re just getting paid to do a job.  I’ve seen guys write and wonder what it would be like to have their mouth and throat fucked and just as they can see in almost any kind of porn; I’ve seen those same guys express a desire to have their face fucked in that fashion… but because they’ve never sucked a dick, they don’t quite understand that there’s a danger or two having a dude with a ten-inch dick clearing your throat out like that – and that’s despite they can see on the screen some hapless babe or dude gagging or even throwing up.

The danger of actually choking or aspirating (that’s breathing in) saliva or vomit into your lungs can be fatal.  So, hell, no, using porn as a basis to answer the question of what it’s like isn’t really answering the question.

Here’s the rub about all of this:  Underneath their questions of what it’s like is some reality… and something I kinda find humorous because there are guys who have zero experience with sex with another man asking other men with zero experience what it’s like – classic “blind leading the blind” at work here… but, at the same time, they seem to understand that the reality is that if you wanna know what it’s like to do any of that stuff they’re talking about, you have two choices:  Ask someone who actually knows what it’s like… or get your horny ass off the porch, jump into the pool, and find out for yourself.

And if you can find someone who’d be willing to tell you what it’s like, make sure they tell you all of it and not just the good parts.  Doing any of this can be pleasing, gratifying and satisfying… but it can also be horribly traumatic as well.  When I write about this, I do my best to be as for-real about doing this stuff as I have the words for, from talking about the physical aspects as well as the emotional ones and, yeah, there’s a reason when I’m talking to a newbie who wants to find out what it’s like and I’m trying to convince him to not find out because I know that having sex like this, while it sounds good and all that, is just something that everyone – or anyone – can do.  The biggest barrier to actually finding out for one’s self what it’s like is overcoming whatever fears they have associated with it and, as much as I dislike saying it, a lot of those guys who wanna know what it’s like are really too afraid to find out.  Again, I’d never say that their fears are unjustified but, yeah, if your fears are stronger than your desire to find out, chances are you’ll never find out what it’s like.

 
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Posted by on 25 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Then and Now

There’s something I’ve noticed over the years and something I was just reminded of just moments ago as I perused the bi guy forum:  Some guys really believe that there’s some difference between what they might have done as a youngster and things they might do, let’s say, past the age of 18.  They’ll call it fooling around, experimenting and I’ve even heard guys state that in their youth, they’ve given another guy some head but didn’t know what they were doing but it sure was fun.  And I’ve asked guys who think like this, “What makes you think something you did when you were 13 is any different from what you did last night at your current age?”

One guy said, “I didn’t know about the word bisexual…”

I replied, “Neither did I but that didn’t change anything.  I ain’t busting your ass, man, but I’m just curious because you’re not the only guy I’ve run into that thinks that there’s some difference between then and now; if only one guy had said that, I probably wouldn’t pay much attention to the subject but I’ve heard a lot of guys say that, ya know?”

I had a theory of sorts – it’s a coping mechanism, a little spin in our thinking that draws a line between then and now.  Growing up, not having sex with anyone before you were old enough was number two on the list of Things You’d Better Not Do, with having sex with another boy holding the prime position at the top of said list – which didn’t stop too many from doing it anyway.  Granted, a guy who got into doing it to girls early on – but also did some stuff with boys – might not have known about the word “bisexual” and if they had heard it in passing, wasn’t aware of what that meant – and that goes for guys who might not have done anything… but the feeling was stomping all over them like they were grapes for wine.  The admonishments against this aren’t just about doing it – you’d better not even think about it so if you were thinking about it even in a rudimentary, instinctual kinda of way, little warning lights could be going off inside your head.

I felt that because we tend to get a pass on things we do when we’re kids (unless it was something very serious), yeah, I can see how some folks could look at this differently and that bible verse about childish things and putting them away comes to mind except, um, giving your friend “Billy” a blow job and him giving you one (with or without sperm being involved) isn’t exactly what I’d call a childish thing.  Can one really claim youthful ignorance in this?  I dunno… maybe one could plead the fifth in the sense that they might not have known of the consequences of what they were doing but could they really plead the fifth if they did, indeed, spend some time sucking cock, engaging in mutual masturbation, or even experiencing moments of intercrural sex at the least, all-out anal sex at the best?

The phrase, “Ignorance of the law is no excuse” comes to mind and a phrase that I always thought was kinda fucked up and more so if you have any idea how totally confusing the law is even to lawyers.  But it means that whether you know it or not, there are laws – it’s just bad juju because you usually don’t find that out until you break a law you really didn’t know about.  So, um, if you were told not to do things like this, were told of some kind of penalty if you did, and you did it anyway, can you really say you didn’t know?  Does that mean if you and your boy “Joey” spent a lot of time sucking each other’s dicks when y’all were 13, that’s somehow different from sucking some guy’s dick today?

If there’s a difference at play here, I’ve not seen it.  Now, we can get into a discussion about peer pressure, the effects of the onset of puberty and that incredible rush of testosterone that can slam into us like the proverbial Mack truck – and they are quite valid… except if a guy was doing things before puberty ran them over.  I’ve heard guys say that they did it once and never did it again and that makes it different because, in their minds, maybe they believe that doing it once at summer camp when they were twelve – and that they’ve not done it again – somehow means it never happened.

The human mind is a damned peculiar thing, isn’t it?  One guy on the bi guy forum actually said that before he was 15, he’d done it several times with boys (as well as with girls)… but that it didn’t mean anything… and I blinked real slow like, not because I’ve not heard this one before but because there are guys who still use this “excuse” to put a wall up between that which they did then and what’s on their minds about it now.  I’m thinking that if you were out behind the wood shed and working your dick in and out of “Pete’s” mouth and ass back then, yeah, it sure as hell had meaning and even more so today when you’re expressing a great desire to do that exact same thing – and the sooner, the better, please and thank you.

It’s psychology and I don’t ever claim to be an expert in this field but even a blind man could see that when it comes to this, there’s something not quite right at work here.  I think some of it really is about how we, generally, tend to treat the past as if it never happened.  What I don’t get is how a guy could, at the least, have the feelings associated with bisexuality way back in their day, have those feelings today, and believe that there’s some difference going on; I don’t get how a guy could discover back when he was 14 that getting screwed in the butt was a fantastic experience but, in the here and now, desperately wants get screwed in the butt… but not see or acknowledge that the only difference between then and now is that, back then, it was probably fairly easy for them to get screwed but, eh, not so easy today.

Does age really play into this perception of difference?  On the one hand, okay, sure, “Bert” might have been into diddling boys and girls and before he was, say, 16, and, sure, he might not have known about the word bisexual; some of the guys on the forum expressed the thought that they might have been gay – but that’s before they knew the word “bisexual” existed… but does not knowing what that word meant really establish a difference in what was actually done?  Even I admit that I was up to my pretty brown eyes doing things in the bisexual mode before I even learned there was such things as a bisexual mode and I clearly remember saying to myself upon that discovery, “Oh, that’s what I’ve been doing!  Wow!”  The real difference?  I now knew there was a word for it and a word I hadn’t known of… didn’t change or excuse what I’d already done did it?

So maybe a lack of knowledge could be seen as a defining difference, that not knowing that if you’re feeling some kind of way about boys and girls – or actually doing the nasty with boys and girls – it’s bisexuality… but does that lack of knowledge really excuse what, if anything, really happened.  Some truly believe it does and I’m not sure if this is some kind of defense mechanism our brains activate when we do something we might have known we shouldn’t have done (or thought about) or it’s some form of plausible deniability that draws that line between now and then.  I’m not saying that people who do this are doing something wrong by saying what they did in their youth in this regard is different from what they wanna do about this as an adult – I just find it horribly interesting to see people still drawing that line and many decades after I first heard of such a thing. Yes, a big difference between then and now is, using myself as an example, what I know and, yup, I’ve found myself saying at times, “If I knew then what I know now…” and then kinda slapping myself because, um, I didn’t know then what I know now… and I was still very much doing it just the same.  Other than what my adult self knows, what’s really different, then?

Beats the hell out of me.  I’m not a fan of “actions speak louder than words” because when it comes to bisexuality, we tend to say that this isn’t the case, using our words to insist that whatever actions we took at the time (and, yes, that includes even thinking about it) had no meaning whatsoever or loudly insisting that just because you did it way back when doesn’t mean that you’d do it today but glossing over the fact that if you’re saying this, it doesn’t ever change the fact that you did it – even if you could claim ignorance over the specifics of whatever you did then that you wouldn’t do now… or even what you might really and secretly want to do in the here and now.

Gives ya something to think about, doesn’t it?

 
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Posted by on 3 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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