There are a lot of things that frustrate the hell out of guys who discover that, um, they have a thing about other guys that just turns them on. First, they have to get over the fact that they have a bad case of “dick on the brain,” try to figure out why they have a bad case of this and then figure out what it is they want to do about it. Now, before I get into this, I wanna put right up front that not all guys realize this about themselves and immediately run out to start chasing dick; some guys, after careful consideration and thought decide that the best thing for them to do is… nothing. They’re happy to accept this aspect of themselves and once accepted, no further action is required.
But that ain’t every guy.
I don’t know how many guys I’ve talked to over the years who’ve said that they don’t understand why “all of a sudden” they’ve got this incredibly intense urge to run out and hunt for dick and, to be honest, I’ve known about this but I’ll be damned if I know why it happens and, at the moment, I can’t think of an apt analogy to this particular thing. Once a guy gets to the “what am I gonna do” part of this, there are some who know exactly what they want to do while others kinda spin around in circles trying to decide which M2M thing they might want and like to do. Some guys have admitted that once they’ve been bitten by the “dick bug,” they start watching gay porn and, like other forms of porn, it comes in almost every imaginable flavor; while I’d not recommend gay porn as an M2M primer or “this is how you do it” kind of thing, sure, a guy itching to dive right on in there can, at the very least, see what two guys can do to, with, and for each other… and in high-definition.
In my observations, there often seems to be a… progression at work in many cases that often starts with just getting comfortable being naked around other men and, yeah, while checking out junk and butts. You’d think that men would just be comfortable being naked around each other… and you’d be wrong about that so this alone can be a huge hurdle for a newbie bi guy to leap. A lot of guys start with what I call the minimum entry-level – mutual masturbation. This is when two guys whip out the weenies in front of each other and each guy jerks himself off and this, all by itself, can be pretty exciting as well as freaking some guys off; it’s one thing to see your own dick, another thing to see dicks on a screen when watching porn, something else to be standing next to a guy who’s playing with his dick and, oh, yeah, he’s watching you just as much as you’re watching him.
See, when it comes to what to do, some guys ask, “How hard can it be?” – then find out exactly how hard it can be and most guys do get a hard-learned lesson in thinking not being the same thing as doing. Anyway…
The secondary aspect of mutual masturbation is to literally reach out and give the other guy a hand and he’s doing the same for you. Again, it’s one thing to handle your own junk but now someone else wants to handle it? Most guys can’t visit the doctor and go through the classic “ball check” without getting so nervous they might soil themselves but, holy shit, the guy you’ve chosen to do this with has his hand wrapped around your junk and yanking on it! Some guys are happy to get to this point and stop right there and I’ve heard some guys say that they stop at this point because masturbation isn’t really a gay thing to do and even if two guys are giving each other a hand. But, as one guy asked me (way back in the day), “How can you jerk a guy off and not want to suck his dick?”
How indeed! If two guys enter the game at the masturbation level and, for the sake of this scribble, these two guys have been getting together and doing this for a while, it just stands to reason that somewhere along the line, someone’s gonna start entertaining the thought of, “I wonder what his cock tastes like?” Ya might think I’m pulling your leg but you gotta know that I’ve been through this with a lot of guys and have seen this “sudden transition” to the next thing too many times to bullshit anyone about it. So even if a guy has decided that he doesn’t want to experience cock sucking, that doesn’t mean that the thought won’t cross his mind… and it’s not as if a guy can’t change his mind about that because, in some weirdly logical process, if you’re gonna jerk another guy’s cock, well, why not make it even more interesting by sucking on it?
Yes, some guys bypass mutual masturbation and go right for cock sucking and while at the individual level guys have varied reasons for using this as their entry point, I don’t know too many guys who have seen themselves being sucked or have watched it via porn and not wonder what it’s like to do that – doesn’t matter if the guy has decided that he’s not gonna do it or not because, at the very least, he did think about it. Yes, some guys watch porn (of any kind) and decide that the cock sucking scenes are just too hot and fascinating not to give it a try… but, yeah, guys can be very damned leery about doing this because, again, it’s one thing to think about doing it and something extremely different when there’s a dick, already hard or not, waiting for you to give it some oral attention. Yes, some guys get to this moment of truth and find that they just can’t bring themselves to do it… and some guys just say, “Fuck it…” and swoop down and start sucking before they can change their minds.
Cock sucking is an acquired taste and I’m talking about beyond the, um, usual thing people say about it. I’ve often found it interesting that there are a lot of guys who don’t give much thought to what a woman is experiencing when she goes down on him but now that he’s the one doing it, whew! Your senses kick into overdrive and experiencing touch, taste, sight (which is kinda overwhelming at first and why some guys close their eyes and keep them closed), smell and even hearing the other guy moaning appreciatively can be one hell of a rush and one that can be encouraging… or it can trigger a built-in reminder that, um, you know you’re not supposed to be doing this, don’t you? True enough, a lot of guys try it (and more than once) and find it not to their liking for a lot of reasons but, I think, mostly because it’s such a weird thing to find one’s self doing… and some guys (and I’d even say most guys) realize that, hey, you know something? This ain’t as bad as I thought it would be! And, yup, some guys realize this and turn into cock sucking fiends because the other thing they realize is that sucking another guy’s cock didn’t instantly and automatically make them gay. Many men get to this point and stop right there…
And some guys take it to the next (and maybe final) level: Anal sex. We’ve probably all heard that when two guys hook up for sex, they’re fucking each other in the ass like there’s no tomorrow; we’ve also heard that, er, um, damn – that shit hurts like a motherfucker! It is true that guys do fuck each other… but not all men can do it or want to have it done and what most people don’t know is that some guys will give it a try either way and, wow, it’s just too damned weird – or feels way too gay – for it to be a fun thing to do. It’s true that some guys go into M2M sex because they want to be fucked and, again, I don’t know of too many guys who have, at the least, wondered what it feels like to be fucked. Yes, yes… we can get all into the other issues about doing this but I’m not talking about that. It’s a really strange mechanism and one that, like so many aspects of this, I don’t pretend to fully understand and, once more, I don’t know how many times I’ve been with a guy, we’ve agreed to spend some time blowing each other and then, in the middle of it all, someone says, “Stick it in me!” or after dicks have gotten soft, I’ve had the other guy say to me, “You know, for a moment, I wanted you to fuck me – ain’t that weird?”
Um, no, not really but, again, don’t ask me why because I really don’t know and even when I’ve been the guy who wanted the other guy to stick it in and even if he can’t get it in, dude, just get on top of me and hump me – that’ll work. Indeed, the perception is that all men who have sex with men go for penetrative anal sex at every turn; the truth is, nah, not always. Some guys don’t want to take the risks involved but, you know something? There’s a way you can fuck me without sticking it in me – it’s called frotting or intercrural – and for a lot of guys, yes, sir, this fits the bill quite nicely and, oh, yeah, neatly bypasses that painful sticking it in part because for some, you don’t have to get anywhere near their asshole for this to be incredibly pleasing.
When we get into the top/versatile/bottom thing, this is simply guys finding their niche in this whole M2M thing although in these roles, there are some… expectations. Tops – allegedly – don’t suck dick but they get sucked and do all of the fucking; bottoms may or may not want to be sucked (and, oddly, many don’t and, please, don’t ask me why because I don’t know) but are the ones to do all the sucking and getting fucked while versatile guys, well, they don’t care which role they’re in as long as some sex is happening.
We spend a lot of time on what two guys do when they get naked and not a whole lot of time thinking about why these two guys are doing whatever they’re doing. Some guys pick an entry-level point and, as I’ve said, don’t go beyond that point while some guys do, in fact, go for all of it and in line with the perceptions we have about this kind of sex. Public opinion would have you believe that all bisexual men are careless and just down right dangerous because they fuck each other… but what they don’t know is that while anal sex is (and has been) an option, most guys would prefer to hook up with another guy and do something other than fuck – some mutual masturbation and cock sucking because, if nothing else, these two things in particular reduces the risks that are inherent with anal sex… and these two things are a lot less painful because, yeah, sure, it does hurt going in, ya know?