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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “So Now…”

…that you’ve promised not to tell if they won’t, what’s next?  Well, that depends on whatever the oath of secrecy was invoked for, from something simple as “I’ll show you mine and you show me yours” to, um, things that are, ah, more involved up to and including touching, tasting, and inserting.

Growing up, the main – and probably only reason – to invoke the oath was to satisfy that curiosity about the sex thing and more so – and as I’ve said hundreds of times – when you were told that boys ain’t supposed to do that shit with each other… even if, historically, it’s just boys being boys and an almost instinctive response to that incredible rush of hormones that’ll hit us like the proverbial Mack truck.  It has nothing to do with the things that become important to us when we reach adulthood; nope, this is all about finding out why boys shouldn’t do it to/with other boys as well as why this is such a horrific thing to do.

Even as adults, we will invoke the oath – and not because someone is literally beat us until sitting down becomes an impossibility but because some people don’t want to understand why a guy surrounded by a plethora of pussy would want to play with another guy’s dick and they tend to make one’s life as miserable as possible for a major rules violation doing this.  Ah, but when younger…

It’s both scary as anything experienced to date and more exhilarating than waking up Christmas morning and finding more shit with your name on it than your young mind could comprehend.  Pants and underwear get pulled down and taken off and, yep, the other guy has some stuff between his legs that’s similar to what you have between your legs so now it’s about doing whatever invoking the oath entailed, from reaching out and touching it to putting it in your mouth… and if you’ve already done these things before – and chances are good that between the two of you, this isn’t the first time the oath has been invoked – it’s about climbing on top of each other and “doing the nasty” until it feels really good and strange… or something happens that seems to always make you feel like you’re about to die and all that yellow-white stuff makes an appearance.

Such things are about as wrong as anything can get – or so we were told, anyway, but when the oath has been invoked the participants know they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing even though, ahem, it really, really feels good to be doing such a bad thing.  If you’ve done it to girls (not an easy thing to do) you kinda innately understand that doing it to a boy isn’t all that different – that stick it in someplace and move up and down thing works on both, just like having someone put your thing in their mouth and sucking on it isn’t very different from when a girl does it (and good luck to you if you can get her to do that).  It’s that sex thing that grownups repeatedly tell us that we should not ever do until, one, we’re grown up enough to do and, two, only when we really care about or love someone – and, preferably, a girl.

But because we’ve invoked the oath and specifically for the reason to find out about this sex thing, one, we must obviously be old enough to do it even if we don’t truly understand what we’re doing and, two, well, dude, I like you and all that… and let’s leave it at that and do this again.  And we can do this again… because I won’t tell if you won’t is still in effect.  In those younger days – and especially if you grew up in the times that I did – the next worst thing than getting caught doing it to each other was finding out that you didn’t keep your promise to not tell anyone what you did with each other.  In the adult world, such a betrayal can have catastrophic consequences but in the younger areas of operation, at the least, you’ll lose a friend or, at the worst, get into a fight… or even worse, now you gotta find someone else to do this with and with the hope that, unlike that other snitch, the next guy you invoke the oath with won’t go running around telling everyone they come across that the two of you did something that you weren’t supposed to do, let alone know about.  Finding someone who won’t snitch might be difficult and you’ll most certainly wind up getting your head handed to you at every turn by your peers who can be quite ruthless and without mercy… then again, having that oath broken might also get you a lot of attention, too, and from other guys who have their own curiosity about why boys should never do it to boys and, really, is there such a thing as too much investigation into this?

Nah… not really.

In the adult world, such discretion is taken as a given and goes without saying although some guys who have much to lose if anyone else finds out, will point out that, um, it wouldn’t go well for them if word of what’s about to happen should get out to the wrong people.  It’s considered to be a great breach of etiquette to kiss and tell but, as mentioned yesterday, there are ways to do this without getting into specifics that might reveal the other guy’s identity and, besides, when you’ve done this, wow, it’s almost like you just gotta tell someone about it… provided there’s anyone you could tell, that is.  Along with “I won’t tell if you won’t,” we also invoke “Don’t ask, don’t tell” and the variant of even if you ask, I’m still not telling.  But just as in the younger iterations of this, once the oaths have been given and accepted, it’s all about doing whatever was negotiated for and, hopefully, not giving much thought to the shit storm that could possibly crop up if those wrong people find out that you just spent the last half-hour – or more than that – getting your rocks off with another guy.

Cityman said to me, “It would be easier on us if everyone would stop being prudes and just accept the fact that men having sex with other men is a natural thing to do.  If only we could be more open about it…”  And he’s right even though we continue to have this angst and in the face of the obvious fact that men have sex with other men whether they’re gay or bisexual.  But until we can get our heads out of our respective asses about this, invoking “I won’t tell if you won’t” remains a necessity.  It just wouldn’t go over well for a guy who’s respected in his community and by his peers to learn that one of his favorite things to do is to dress up in lingerie and spend some time on his knees sucking cock and being gleefully sodomized and inseminated, would it?  When you’re much younger, peer respect and establishing your own reputation, wow, I just cannot express how important that is so, nah, it’s not gonna help your rep if your peers find out that while you’re known to chase skirts to the ends of the earth, you’re not exactly opposed to swallowing a load of spunk, putting a load into some dude’s butt, or taking a load yourself.  It’s just not gonna look good for anyone else to discover that one of your favorite things to do with other guys is to get together with a bunch of them so they all can fuck you… and because that just thrills you to no end and part of that thrill is that you ain’t supposed to be doing that shit in the first place.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies… and if you won’t tell anyone that I’d love it if we could get naked and suck each other’s dick until we both cum, I won’t tell anyone either…

 
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Posted by on 4 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Stuck in Place

Not much activity on the bi guy forum but when checking out a new comment made to an existing thread, my attention was caught by something the guys said, that being along the lines that he wanted to avoid romantic entanglements with men and inadvertently leading them on… but he also wanted to avoid the quick, NSA hookup that he has issues with and, as such, he’s looking for a FWB to have his first experience with a man.

As I’ve been writing here of late, one of the things I think about seems to be a universal kind of question asked by these men in particular and, perhaps, by other bi guys everywhere:  “Why can’t I find a guy to have sex with?”

Those of you who have been following me might remember that one of the things I say about this – and sex in general – is that it seems to me that we make this more difficult and complicated than it has to be.  Yes, it’s a purely defensive measure and in line with Rule Number One:  Look after your own ass first.  Or, to swipe something from fighting sports, protect yourself at all times.  The problem isn’t that there aren’t like-minded men from coast to coast, border to border; I’m thinking that in the United States, it’s probably statistically impossible that there’s anywhere in this country where there are no bisexual men or even homosexual men who want to have sex man to man.  It’s understood that the development of personal sexual preferences are a major requirement… but what might not be understood is that the more you set conditions and narrow down those preferences, that doesn’t make having sex easier:  It makes it harder to accomplish.

When you have guys saying what this guy did on the site, he’s put himself in the worst possible situation and more so if his requirements for the ideal FWB as been welded firmly in place:  Whatever he wants to do with another man isn’t going to happen with everything put on total lock down.  We see, repeatedly, a situation where the logic of this situation winds up failing in the face of emotional concerns, i.e., I can tell a guy, after hearing exactly why he has yet to get the dick he wants, that if he wants to make it happen, doesn’t it make sense to not be so restrictive?  No, you don’t really want to throw all caution to the wind but if I point out to him where he can loosen the noose enough to have the experience he wants, he can easily agree that easing up on some stuff will have positive results… but the emotional “turmoil” will override common sense, intelligence and logic and leave him stuck in place.

Those of you who have been following me have also seen me write that when it comes to getting laid, we often become our own worst enemies and, as such, makes a lot of people ask, “Why is it so hard for me to get laid when I need to get laid?”  Many people will point to the fact that they just cannot find the right person or, if they think they have, the person cannot be trusted or, worse, they can’t trust themselves for some reason.  When we talk about the problems with bisexuality in men and women, this particular one is a true killer of one’s sexual dreams in this regard.  It’s not that they really can’t find someone to have this kind of sex with so it’s not really the “fault” of anyone else other than themselves.

Some of this fits that definition of insanity quite well…

 
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Posted by on 18 August 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Size Issues

Some time ago (and I don’t remember exactly when) I wrote something about bi guys being more of a size queen than some women can be and a lot of bi dudes are very much into “the bigger the better” and to the point where if you don’t meet some dude’s size requirements, guess what ain’t gonna happen despite any other qualifications?

What got me writing about this is something I just saw on the bi guys forum… where someone asked if the size of a bottom’s cock is important or not.

First thought:  What?  Let me read that again…

Second thought:  What?  Why the fuck would that matter if the guy on the bottom isn’t going to be using his dick on you?

This comes under the heading of just when you think you’ve heard it all, you find out that you haven’t.  Okay, so, when it comes to giving head, smaller tends to be easier to suck and anyone who has issues sucking large cocks – while fun and challenging – might agree that sucking a guy who’s only five inches when hard is less stressful than trying to work over a fat, ten-inch dick.  If you’re looking to be screwed, okay, if you attend the school of Bigger Is Better, of course you want the guy with the stupidly huge dick trying to test the elasticity of your anal muscles although, um, okay, if homey were more average-sized, that might work out in your favor later.

But if you’re the one laying pipe to a willing guy’s backside, why would you even care about how big his dick is?  I commented that, many years ago, I had noticed something:  Tops were well-endowed but bottoms were below what’s considered to be average.  It seemed to me to be a dominance thing:  If “Hank” had the bigger dick, then he’s the top and if “Benny” was smaller, his role was to take the bigger dick in his ass.  I even talked to some guys who were average or below and some of them said that because they weren’t “overly” endowed, that lack of cock on their part dictated the role they were to assume – being a bottom.  I even saw this “behavior” with guys who were grossly overweight; because they didn’t have that swimmer’s physique or some other athletic form, their role in this was clear – they’re the ones on their knees or on their backs taking the dick.

What got me kinda rolling my eyes is that quite a few of the men who responded to the posting has never been a top or a bottom; they’ve yet to have any kind of sex with a man.  I sat and read responses before I commented and I was seriously wondering why cock size would matter where bottoms were concerned?  Men are visual creatures when it comes to sex so I’d suppose that if you’re dick deep in some guy’s ass, looking at his cock either dangling in the wind (if he’s on his knees doggy-style) or lying in the creases or against his belly can add to the visual stimulation of watching your dick invading the bottom’s body… but that kinda assumes that your attention is even on the size and/or state of the other guy’s dick beyond taking note of it after undressing.

I admit to being a bit baffled about this one, just as I admit to my bafflement might be due to the fact that I don’t place a lot of importance on the size of a guy’s dick so while I can allow that size does, in fact, matter to some guys, um, why would it matter if you’re fucking him and there’s no chance of him fucking you?  I’ve seen lots of M2M sex where the guy being hosed down had had the bigger dick and the guy doing the hosing wasn’t even close to being what anyone would consider to be big.  You can go on just about any porn site and see examples of hugely endowed guys getting nailed in the butt, which tells me that, despite porn being what it is, the size of one’s dick doesn’t determine the role one chooses to be in.  I can even see, in real-life situations, where a bottom would be interested in the size of the dick about to plow his backyard… but why would a top be interested in this outside of maybe giving the bottom some head – and that’s provided the bottom even wants to have his dick sucked to begin with?

Surprisingly (or maybe not), there are some bottoms who hate being sucked; they feel their role as bottom means they do all the cock sucking and handle the “dick in the ass” chores and this is more prevalent than one might choose to believe.  It’s not all bottoms who feel this way and some do insist that before you fuck their ass, you suck that dick… except, um, some tops aren’t what anyone would call a cock sucker (but some are).  Yeah, and you thought having sex with women can be complicated?

I’m going to keep an eye on that thread just to see if the original poster comes back and explains a bit more about why he feels that the bottom’s cock size is important.  It just seems to me that if a guy is looking to top another guy, what is of greater import is whether or not the propositioned bottom says yes or not.  It also amazes me to see guys who haven’t had the sex of any kind yet developing these kinds of preferences although I suspect that those guys who are less endowed feel that they’d enjoyed being dominated by a much larger cock… except dominance, such as it is, doesn’t really depend on the size of one’s dick – that’s all attitude and mindset and the huge dick is just a very big stick used to beat someone with and, apparently, without mercy is the most desired way.

Just when you thought that women were funny about sex, you find that men can be even funnier…

 
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Posted by on 1 June 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Breaking Down Barriers

On the bi guy forum, I revisited a post entitled, “Does Race Matter?” and, honestly, I wasn’t surprised at how many of the guys commenting says that it does and I admit to being somewhat disappointed about that.  You see, being bisexual is about breaking down the wall that others try to keep in place between being heterosexual and homosexual; it’s about liberating one’s self from the usual dogma about sex and dogma that is designed to be divisive up to and including “staying with your own kind.”

The men commenting cited things like a lack of attraction to men of other races and some – predictably – have preferences they’ve set up that excludes more men than they include.  It’s not that people don’t have preferences – we all have them and even I do… but where is it written that once you establish a preference you can’t change it?  One guy said that he’s never been with a Black man and he’s sure he wouldn’t like it if he did; yep, someone asked him why and he declined to answer but, as it tends to do (and has done for as long as I can remember), if you’ve never done it, how do you know you’re not gonna like it?  What makes us behave like this and, importantly, should we behave like this and more so when, as bisexual men, the one thing we have in common is our shared desire to have sex with other men and women?

To be bisexual means stepping outside of long-established comfort zones or, a bit more familiar, getting out of the boxes that society has built for us and has convinced us to stay in no matter what.  Is there a point of climbing out of the box of heterosexuality and into the bisexual box… but then seal yourself into yet another box because if you’re a Hispanic man, you wouldn’t want to have sex with an Oriental man?  Does it make sense to break out of the heterosexual box… but then impose limits on yourself because of the color of someone’s skin, or the size of their dick, or whether they’re gym rats or couch potatoes?

Apparently, to some people, it does make sense…

If I don’t want to have sex with someone, it’s because there’s something about them that I’m not feeling… but it’s not because of the color of their skin, what kind of physical shape they’re in, the size of their dicks and other things that, while having these things as preferences allow us to get what we want and in the way we want it, they also put limits on one’s ability to experience the diversity to be found in sex and, yes, even as a bisexual.  Sure, you could say that if you’ve had one dick, you’ve had them all… and that’s not accurate since, um, dicks come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors, don’t they?  You could say that if you’ve had one man, you’ve had them all… except that’s not accurate either since, duh, we are not really the same no matter how much we try to homogenize and generalize each other.

A lot of guys who commented did say that the color of the other guy’s skin didn’t matter one bit and they, like myself, employ the KISS principle – Keep It Simple, Stupid:  Is he clean and healthy?  Does his dick work in the way we need it to?  Do we like him enough to want to have sex with him?  Is he willing to do whatever with you?  Is he your idea of an asshole/jerk?  If the answers are, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, and no,” and, of course, if the time and place are right, then it’s on.  Now… if you’re a white guy and there’s a Black guy who meets this criteria… why would you not go for it?  If you believe that your preferences take precedence over your desire for sex, maybe you tell the guy thanks but no thanks… but by letting your preferences drive the car, how do you know that you just didn’t pass up a fantastic sexual experience?

Sometimes I think we get confused about preferences and principles or we treat them as one and the same.  Take the above-mentioned KISS thingy:  If the answers to those questions are all “yes” then, no – principle says that you don’t ever have sex with anyone who is an asshole, cunt, or whatever derogatory word you wanna use for someone who falls into this category.  This is a matter of principle… not a matter of preference unless you firmly believe that preference is always a matter of principle.  Now, let me say at this point that if this the way you think, you are well within your rights as a human being to think this way… but I’m the guy who’ll ask you why you think this way and simply because I’ve always been curious as to why we do behave in this way about a whole lot of things… and whether or not it really makes sense to, say, not like broccoli just because you don’t like the way it looks… but you’ve never tasted it.

Like, I know I can’t stand liver… because I was made to eat it or be hungry growing up; I didn’t like it then and, today, you couldn’t pay me to eat liver.  That’s experience at work… but if an Oriental guy passes my KISS test – and let’s say that I’ve never had sex with such a person – why would I say no to a chance to broaden my sexual horizons?  Does it make sense to shy away from a sexual experience when, at this point, I’ve not had an actual experience like this?  I’ve often wondered if our ingrained “fear of the other” and fear of the unknown plays into this.

Does race matter?  Should it matter?  Of course, readers and friends, you’re gonna keep your own council about this.  I know that we – humans – have a bad habit of allowing bad experiences influence future actions, like, having sex with a Hispanic person could have been so traumatic in some way that you’d never have sex with another Hispanic person even if they were the last person on earth and/or your life depended on it.  And, yes, it’s normal that if we have a bad experience, we’d rather not have another one so if you had a bad sexual experience with a Black man, sure, making sure you don’t have a repeat makes sense… except the reality is that just because you had a bad experience with that guy doesn’t mean that other bad experiences will happen if you go for it again because, um, despite what some folks like to say, we really aren’t all the same, outwardly or inwardly.

I also know that we tend to take the word of others when it comes to this; someone has a bad sexual experience and tells someone else about it… and then that person decides, nope, I’m never gonna do it with a (add some ethnic shit here) because it didn’t work for them… but how do you know it wouldn’t work for you since, um, they had the bad experience… but you didn’t or haven’t?  Like, a Black dude once told me that he’d never do it with a white guy and went on a rant about the one time he had a shitty sexual experience with a white guy and then added that no self-respecting Black man would ever have sex with a white person.  Of course, he then asked me if I’d have sex with a white person and I said, “Sure, why not?  Just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean I’d have one…”  Let’s say that he greatly lowered his opinion of me and more so when he learned that not only would I have sex with a white person, I’d been having lots of sex with all kinds of people, color, race, and/or ethnicity notwithstanding… and because it could be done.

And I’d never say that I’ve not had a bad sexual experience with people – I’ve had my share of them… but I’m not gonna let something like having a bad experience with another Black man stop me from having any future experiences; it would stop me from doing it with that particular guy again and that does make sense.

So to bring this particular rant to an end, I’ll do so by saying this:  Bisexuality represents a flexibility in our sexual behavior but when we start slicing and dicing things to the nth degree, being bisexual becomes inflexible.  I prefer not to have sex with effeminate gay men not because I don’t like them but because, um, they make me insane trying to be more like a woman than the real thing.  Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep with an effeminate gay man if he passes KISS because the real bottom line is that it’s sex and the sex is only going to be as good as the people involved can make it and that isn’t determined by the color of one’s skin as much as it is determined by what’s inside their head and their lust, passion, and desire to have sex.  I prefer not to kiss guys because, uh, some are just lousy kissers… doesn’t mean I’d never want to kiss a guy going forward and I’d never say that I wouldn’t because I don’t know what the future might bring.  I prefer sucking white dick because, er, um, I like the way white guys taste… but that doesn’t mean I’d say no to a Latino or an Oriental or a Black man if he passes the KISS test.  If he doesn’t pass the test, principle says nothing can happen and shouldn’t because one just does not set themselves up to fail or be disappointed when it’s kinda proven – by failing the KISS test in any way – that you’d be making a mistake just for the sake of busting a nut.

Thus endeth the rant…

 
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Posted by on 27 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Use Me Like the Slut I Wanna Be!”

On my daily visit to the bi guy forum I saw some postings that kinda made me go, “Hmm…” as a lot of guys who have yet to do the deed with a guy are saying what the title of this scribbling says.  Quite a few of these guys have said that they want a guy with a really big dick (or a BBC individual) to just really and seriously give them the high hard one and the rougher that can happen, the happier they’d be.

I tend to find it both amusing and troubling that these men, being as inexperienced in the ways of M2M, have a desire to be subjected to another man’s lust in this fashion; amusing because this thinking is almost straight out of gay porn that can be seen today and troubling because, um, guys, if you’ve yet to be exposed to a man’s lust, you really don’t know what you’re asking for and getting yourself into.  Now, there are some guys who want to be made slutty in a more “romantic” and “loving” kind of way, something you rarely see in gay porn which seems to be more about one guy ravaging another and doing things that even as experienced as I am, makes me shudder.  What I wonder is why some of these inexperienced guys are professing a fondness/desire to really get beat down in that fashion; is it because they’re under the impression that this is the way men are supposed to have sex with other men… or is this something in the personalities of quite a few men who feel that their role in the M2M arena is best served by getting screwed in such a frightening manner?

One guy said he fantasizes about a Black man with a ten-inch (and very thick) dick just hammering him unmercifully and repeatedly and if this guy happened to bring a bunch of similarly endowed friends to the party, so much the better; a member who, by his comment says he’s experienced, indicated that, um, dude, be careful what you wish for and more so if you have no idea what it feels like having a mere five-inch cock in your butt.  Some guys confess to playing with dildos and anyone who owns one knows you can get them in some inhumanly large sizes… which isn’t the same thing as having an overly endowed guy banging away inside your asshole; it’s not even close because even if a guy were to employ such a huge toy, he’s gonna use it on himself in a way that, hopefully, isn’t going to cause any irreparable damage… while there are going to be hugely endowed guys who aren’t going to be so careful about reaming your ass out.

Another guy said that he got greatly turned on by watching a video of a BBC dude who, at first, was jamming all of his dick down the other guy’s throat and holding his head in place as the poor guy on the receiving end gagged.  Then the BBC dude bent the other guy into position, wrapped both of his hands around the guy’s throat, and choked him while just hammering his long, thick cock in there.  I’m reading this and visualizing the action as described and I thought that if some dude tried going that route with me, there’s gonna be a funeral and it ain’t gonna be mine; I’m reading the comments from a lot of guys who not only thought this was hot and damned sexy, it’s something they wanna experience for themselves.

And I asked myself, “Are these motherfuckers out of their ever-loving minds?”  I just do not pretend to understand why there seems to be a lot of guys who think this kind of aggressive sex is fun; I know that, obviously, there are men who are into it but y’all know me:  It’s not enough to know that guys like being fucked like this but why they like being fucked like this.  When I say that the psychology of male bisexuality is fascinating, it can be an understatement at times because even as long as I’ve been “studying” this, there are things that just defy explanation and even the guys who are experienced and deeply into this kind of sex are unable to accurately say why getting seriously beat down appeals to them so much.  Indeed, the kind of sexual beat downs that can be seen today makes things I’ve experience in my younger days look more than tame or, really, like those dudes weren’t even being aggressive in their pursuit to bust a nut at all.

If, as I suspect, gay porn is responsible for this mindset – in part or as a whole – this is just someone’s idea of what M2M sex should be about:  Men totally and completely dominating “lesser” men and using them in rather brutal fashion as they use sex as a weapon to, I guess, prove their dominance.  One guy complained that when he watches gay porn, he rarely sees the “tender side” of M2M where the guy being fucked is being treated kindly and with respect and appreciation and I know he’s not seeing many depictions of this because, um, such “wimpy” and less demonstrative sex ain’t selling DVDs or making guys drop their money on web sites where more “violent” displays of a man’s lust reign supreme.  In their minds, who wants to see two guys having sex in a loving, gentle fashion when the real money and potential excitement is showing an overly endowed man giving some poor hapless guy a sexual beat down to end all beat downs?

Yes, to each his own and whatever floats your boat… but I’ve not been able to figure out why a guy who has never even sucked another man’s dick would want to be fucked in such a manner…

 
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Posted by on 19 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Time is the Enemy

When it comes to bisexuality in anyone, there are lots of things that can be perceived as being an enemy, like public opinion, for example, but quite often the enemy is time, as in finding the time to indulge yourself and having enough time to get it done.

It takes time to find someone suitable and to find a suitable locale; it takes time to become aroused, takes time to reach full erection, takes time to reach one’s ejaculation moment and yet, at least among men, there are those who know they don’t have enough time to get it all done but try to do it anyway – and then find themselves somewhat displeased at the results.

What spurred this thought?  I was cleaning the junk out of Tumblr and once that was done, the first item was a guy standing in what had to be the handicap stall in a men’s room; he pulls out his cock and is soon joined by another man who also whips his dick out and now the two of them are furiously yanking on their dicks in an obvious rush to bust that nut.

These guys are obviously in a hurry and their body language said as much to me because there’s a risk that someone will hit the head and notice that, hey, there are two pairs of feet in that stall!  It’s not that it’s unusual that guys will go to the men’s room to get off but because there’s a rush to do that, then expected result is almost bound to be delayed because you’re trying too hard to hurry up.

In casual hookups, there are times when there’s not a lot of time to do a thing; maybe someone has to get back to work or get back home before a wife or girlfriend realizes they’re gone or they have to hurry up and beat the place they told their woman they’d be and, yep, some guys want to rush to the end of the story because they’re worried that someone they know will see them entering or leaving an area they’re not known to frequent.

And I’ve often wondered why we do this to ourselves and more so since this lends itself to the stigma that we are indiscriminate and prone to acting without thinking.  It also lends itself to a certain level of dissatisfaction just because we might not want to (or be able to) devote a broader amount of time to, say, give a more thorough blow job.  Sure, ya might manage to bust a nut in record time… but was rushing really worth it?

I know we can be very opportunistic – it’s just the nature of being male and since it’s not always easy for bi guys to identify each other, if you get a chance to get some dick, you take it… even if you really don’t have the time to really enjoy the moment.  Back to the two guys in the handicap stall…

The guy seen in the opening of the clip is displaying frantic body language and he’s even gesturing to the other guy in a hurry up fashion. The second guy is trying to stretch the moment out, alternating between furiously jerking his dick and letting it go for long seconds before resuming.  Dude #1 busts first but Dude #2 is still pulling and stopping… and Dude #1’s body language indicates that he’s not happy about this as he shakes some sperm from his fingers and then points to Dude #2’s cock.

Dude #2 finally busts his nut and the clip ends but the body language of both men just before it ends displayed some dissatisfaction and I thought, “Was that really worth it?”  Sometimes, the pressure to perform isn’t about technique ormeven endurance but a matter of time, as in being in a rush and that sense of impatience that can make a sexual act less glorious than expected.

I get that there’s a certain kind of rush at play here and anyone who has ever had sex “publicly” knows just how naughty it is and the greater the risk of getting busted in the act, the greater the rush… but time is still the enemy not just because a sexualmact takes time to begin and end but there’s the mental pressure of knowing the clock is running really fast along with being very mindful of the surroundings and that can create a level of anxiety that might prove to be counterproductive to why you’re hurrying up to do this in the first place.

I also get that, sure, you do whatever when and even where you can do it but if you walk away from it feeling as if it could have been better if you had the time, well, there’s a lesson to be learned here.  I’m never gonna say that sneaking in a quickie is a bad thing – they can be fun and satisfying and most quickies aren’t really about a time crunch, are they?  Yeah, you can actually take your time having a quickie, can’t ya?  But when you know – or can reasonably assume that you really don’t have the time for a “proper” quickie, yeah, still a lesson to be learned here if you do it and wind up feeling less than satisfied afterward.

 
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Posted by on 13 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Just Sex?”

I was just going through forum items on the bi guy site and was reading new comments to a post where the author was “whining” about dudes who are all about the sex with other men but not so much of a mind to establish a meaningful relationship.  I don’t blame or condemn these guys for wanting things the way they want them but, admittedly, I find it fascinating to read how these guys think about something that, by their own admissions, most haven’t actually done yet.  The author, like so many of the men here, has a thing against casual sex and that anything they could do in this regard is considered to be cheap, tawdry sex and sex without meaning and substance.

When I see them write stuff like this, it’s not that I don’t understand where they’re coming from; the most ideal situation is to find one guy and in a FWB mode, hang out with each other with and without clothing.  It’s safer, provides a level of investment that’s comfortable and, most of all, it’s not casual sex… and I find myself wondering if these men who have this mindset really understand the full scope of male bisexuality.  The author seemed to be appalled that there were a lot of men reaching out to him and weren’t all that interested to hear his life story – they just wanted to know if they can meet and get each other off in the NSA mode.  I laughed when I first read the post because it reminded me of how some women tend to ask us, “Is that all you ever think about?”

As it turns out, um, yeah, pretty much – we’re just wired like that.  It’s a reality that the guys who bitch and moan about NSA hookups don’t seem to want to accept and, of course, it’s not that there are men who are into the NSA thing but why they are; the problem for them is that if the other guy isn’t of a mind to speak to this, you’ll never know the answer.  Sometimes, it’s about time or, really, the lack of; relationships of any kind takes time to develop while it can take a whole two seconds to say, “Yes!” to the proposal of a blow job.  Since a lot of guys are doing this in the underworld of the DL, time is of the essence and the sooner things can get to popping, the better because for it to take a long time can make others suspicious, like a girlfriend or a wife; some guys are so closely scrutinized (or otherwise horribly busy with day-to-day stuff) that their trips to the DL for some cock are limited and, as such, it’s about cutting through all the lovey-dovey stuff and getting right to the business at hand.

Some guys want to avoid anything that looks like a relationship and the most dreaded emotional entanglement, falling in love with the other guy; as weird as it might sound, having sex with another dude isn’t “as gay” as the possibility of falling in love or, damn it, having him fall in love with you so the best way to keep this from happening is to not be in a position for this to happen… so you bypass the “getting to know you better” part and get right to making dicks hard and making them soft again.  Some guys are already in a relationship so getting into a meaningful and substantial relationship with a guy, while not really a bad thing or idea, just complicates an already complicated situation so, of course, the idea here is to make things less complicated if and whenever possible.

Yup… some guys are just really arrogant and conceited assholes and have attended the school of “less talk, more sex” and even I have a dislike for guys who behave like this; you’ve seen me write at times about guys who’ve contacted me and demand that I let them fuck me (which I ain’t even into anymore) and that if I don’t, well, I must not be a real man.  It’s an occupational hazard for bisexual men and the nature of the beast… but what I find interesting when the membership starts riffing against hookups and the lack of personal investment is simply this:  Do these men know anything about men?  Better still, um, how can you be a guy and not know how we tend to behave and more so when our dicks get hard?

There’s a perception at play here and I will now apologize to any women reading this and say that I mean no offense or disrespect at all:  Men are easier to get into bed than women are because men tend to be more no-nonsense about it.  Here’s the truth:  While, comparatively speaking, this is true, um, men can be more difficult to have sex with than women are known to be because there are a lot of bisexual men who aren’t fans of casual sex; if you’re not gonna be into them, don’t want to take the time to know them as a person, it’s a huge deal breaker.  If you don’t show the desire or potential to be a repeat and invested customer, well, you’re a sorry sack of shit for thinking you can treat me like I’m just a piece of ass.  But this gets better because a lot of these guys who bemoan the quick and dirty hookup have also said that they have no real desire to be in a “committed relationship” with another man and they say it as if a FWB relationship isn’t a relationship.

If ya thought women can be funny about sex, men can be even funnier when you take a closer look and the clincher is that a lot the guys who pitch a bitch about this have yet to have their first M2M experience and they also spend a lot of time wondering why they can’t find someone to have that first experience with.  It makes a kind of sense that some women just aren’t all that fond of us because 80% of the time, we have sex on the brain; yes, Virginia, sometimes, that’s all we do think about… but I ask again how you can be a guy with sex on the brain, want to have sex with another guy… but expect him not to have sex on the brain as well?  Is it me or does it sound just a tad bit hypocritical (or, perhaps, naive) to want to establish something with relationship overtones – like, getting to know each other a lot better – but, at the same time, don’t wanna be bothered with relationship-type things, like dating?

Finally, I’m not saying that the guys riffing about this aren’t within their right to do so – I just find it interesting when they do riff about it and more so when their only sexual experience with men lies only within their fantasies of having that first real experience…

 
 

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