I’ve been having a rather spirited conversation with a guy on the forum about, um, doing the nasty with guys and at one point, he opined that guys who aren’t interested in this aspect of sex don’t know what they’re missing and, to expand on that, yeah, sure – people who are not of a mind to have sex like this may not know what they’re missing… but some of them do know: They’re just not of a mind to cross the line because we’re not supposed to shit like that.
If nothing else, what they may be missing is an… expansion of their desire to have sex. See, when it comes to bisexuality, many people think that straddling the line is exchanging one form of sex for another… and that’s the wrong way to think about it.
You’re not substituting one form of sex for another – you’re adding to whatever sex you’re already having or, as my protege aptly put it, you’re adding something to your sexual menu. There’s always the stigma against such activities yet, despite the presence of the stigma, um, people are adding to their sexual diet just the same. Many resist this addition to their diet because they’re thinking about who – whether the additional menu item is male or female – but not thinking about what – having sex in an expanded kind of way.
I get a kick out of the many people I have heard say they love sex but ask them if they’d go the same-sex route and, oops, nope – they don’t love sex that much but, again, I think it’s because they’re thinking who and not what. One of the things I learned early on is that your body doesn’t care who is pleasuring it – but your mind does. A long time ago, I conducted an experiment with a group of people who were of a mind that who was doing something did make a difference. Made some blindfolds, set some conditions – go down on someone and no extra touching allowed – and while you’re being sucked or eaten, tell everyone how you’re feeling – then take off your blindfold.
Many of the participants were shocked but it proved the point I was trying to make: Your body doesn’t care – only your mind does because it’s been conditioned to think that way… until that conditioning gets broken by some means and for some reason. What made the experiment even interesting is that no one in attendance objected to the conditions of the experiment.
Think about that one for a moment or two.
I asked a question in yesterday’s scribble: What’s the difference between a man eating a woman’s coochie and a woman doing it? The only difference is who is doing it and, of course, the same goes with sucking cock. There are some subliminal differences, shit that you’re aware of but cannot put into words like, women just “feel” different from guys and there’s that whole thing that only women are supposed to suck dick and only guys can eat pussy.
And it’s a lie and a bald-faced one at that. A lot of people know it’s a lie… but social perception, wow, that’s a motherfucker and a half, ain’t it, will keep a lot of people right where they are even if somewhere deep inside their mind, hmm, ya know, it might not be that bad of an idea to find out what all the fussing is about. They don’t and, I think, it’s not because they’re worried about having sex like this so much as they are seriously worried about what others will think should it be discovered that “Dorothy” got her coochie eaten like never before – and it was “Sara” who sent her way beyond seventh heaven.
I’d not say that it’s not a genuine concern because it is – our society, on the whole, still reacts very badly to such things but the question I ask people who point to this as to why they’d never do anything like that is, “How would someone else know that you did this? There’s only two ways that could happen: Either you told someone else or the person you did it with told someone that you both knew – and the word spread faster than the speed of light.”
Otherwise, um, who would know other than yourself and the person you were having this kind of sex with?
Do they know what they’re missing? Again, a lot of people do know; they correctly understand that there must be something to it… because there are a lot of people throwing it down like that – and “a lot” is a gross understatement. The real question is do they wanna risk being shat upon and dismissed from there circle of associates by finding out if it’s true that women eat pussy better than men or that men suck cock better than women?
Many don’t and that’s understandable. People aren’t stupid; it doesn’t take being Wile E. Coyote to reason that, um, having your pussy eaten or your dick sucked feels really damned good and that the only thing that really makes a difference is the skill level of the person doing it. Some folks are of a mind that they’d not go this route because they don’t think they’d be good at it. A real concern… but we learn by doing, don’t we and many people get surprised to find out that, hmm, they’re much better at it than they originally thought.
Guys fucking each other. Scary stuff, right? I’ve asked guys who have had anal sex with women what they though the difference was doing the same thing to a guy… and they’ve all said, “It’s a guy!” when the real answer is, “There is no difference – you’re thinking about the person and not the act itself.” But sticking your dick in a guy’s ass is one thing… having a guy stick his dick in your ass? Whoa – hold up! Yeah, we all know it hurts and that “no one in their right mind would do that” given what that orifice is for… yet, we know that there are men who prefer, like, and love to be fucked and, yup, it doesn’t matter if the object in their backside is the real thing or a fake thing… attached by straps to a woman and some guys prefer a woman pegging them over a man dicking them down.
Why? Because they’re thinking who and not what so much. It is to note that a lot of the guys who like being pegged really do want to know what having the real thing inside them feels like… but they’re afraid to find out and the social angst and all the disease cards being thrown around keeps them from finding out. Do they know what they’re missing?
Yeah… they do, but. What’s the different between a woman pegging a guy and a man having his cock in there? A couple of things and the first is obviously “who…” that and a guy is gonna bust a nut in there (and, safely, in a condom).
Now, it is said that one cannot miss that which they’ve never had and, by and large, this is an accurate statement… except when it comes to sex because while there are many who have not had this kind of sex, there are many, many more who have thought about it – and even if they’ve rejected the notion. What would it be like? Would it be different? Good? The worst thing ever? What would my friends think? Shit, what would I think should such a thing happened and I find that I liked it?
Some folks know people who goes both ways and some are privy to the juicy details so, as least in this context, they do know what they’re missing and more so if, say, “Dorothy” tells “Laura” – and because “Laura has proven that she can be trusted – that “Sara” ate the living daylights out of her and, shit, she didn’t know it could be that good.
And “Laura” might think that, uh-uh – I’d never do that… but what if “Dorothy” has stumbled onto something? She liked it and I know she said she’d never allow that to happen, never thought about it, wouldn’t do it for any reason… but she did.
Hmm. Maybe “Laura” sticks to her guns and chooses not to find out what “Dorothy” has found out – but can it be said that she now knows what she might be missing? And, if she chooses not to, why did she? I’d say that she’s not thinking about getting her pussy eaten – she’s thinking about who’d do it and they’re not male – and thinking about the social angst she’d be subjected to if anyone ever found out.
The truth is that not everyone can break the social conditioning against having sex like this. Some people are aware that there’s something missing in their sexual life and maybe they do, in fact, know what’s missing – but they reject the notion because, forever and ever, people are not supposed to have sex like this…
And in the face of the very real fact that a lot of people are having sex like this and, again, “a lot” is a very gross understatement on my part. Do they know what they’re missing? Maybe. Are they afraid of it? Definitely. Some find out and they’re indifferent about it while others find out and it literally changes their lives because everything they’ve been taught about sex just got invalidated.
It can feel very damned good to have a guy suck your dick and it can feel very damned good to have a woman licking your coochie. We maintain and hold as true that only a woman knows what a woman wants; the reverse is true for men but, ah, we don’t talk about that in this context. And there’s a reason why this “truism” has been around for as long as it has been and even women who are “strictly dickly” have heard this – and they generally agree – but. There’s always that “but” that shows up and the same with guys although, eh, we’re not so much of a mind to admit that except to maybe say that “it makes sense…” but.
Many folks are of a mind that they aren’t missing anything where this is concerned but maybe even they’re wondering why there are so many people who are, um, not missing anything because they’ve added this to the sexual diet. Do I think they’re missing something? Yeah, I do – and it’s not just the sex they’re missing out on.
Okay… there’s nothing wrong with being just straight or gay – if it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it, right? Some people are bi because it is broken and some are bi because they knew something was missing – then found out what it was and the matter of “who” was providing what was missing becomes a non-issue – it’s the what, the sex, the intimacy and, yup, it’s a “different” way to get one’s cookies crumbled.
There is a reason why people who do this for the first time often say, “I didn’t know it could be like this!” or “Now I know what I’ve been missing.” Not so much “who” – although, sure, that matters to some – but “what” – another way to have sex and in addition to the way they’re already having it.
Do they know what they’re missing? Probably – and some are happy missing it… but that is and has been changing exponentially…