Tag Archives: Homosexual Sex

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Do They Know What They’re Missing?

I’ve been having a rather spirited conversation with a guy on the forum about, um, doing the nasty with guys and at one point, he opined that guys who aren’t interested in this aspect of sex don’t know what they’re missing and, to expand on that, yeah, sure – people who are not of a mind to have sex like this may not know what they’re missing… but some of them do know: They’re just not of a mind to cross the line because we’re not supposed to shit like that.

If nothing else, what they may be missing is an… expansion of their desire to have sex. See, when it comes to bisexuality, many people think that straddling the line is exchanging one form of sex for another… and that’s the wrong way to think about it.

You’re not substituting one form of sex for another – you’re adding to whatever sex you’re already having or, as my protege aptly put it, you’re adding something to your sexual menu. There’s always the stigma against such activities yet, despite the presence of the stigma, um, people are adding to their sexual diet just the same. Many resist this addition to their diet because they’re thinking about who – whether the additional menu item is male or female – but not thinking about what – having sex in an expanded kind of way.

I get a kick out of the many people I have heard say they love sex but ask them if they’d go the same-sex route and, oops, nope – they don’t love sex that much but, again, I think it’s because they’re thinking who and not what. One of the things I learned early on is that your body doesn’t care who is pleasuring it – but your mind does. A long time ago, I conducted an experiment with a group of people who were of a mind that who was doing something did make a difference. Made some blindfolds, set some conditions – go down on someone and no extra touching allowed – and while you’re being sucked or eaten, tell everyone how you’re feeling – then take off your blindfold.

Many of the participants were shocked but it proved the point I was trying to make: Your body doesn’t care – only your mind does because it’s been conditioned to think that way… until that conditioning gets broken by some means and for some reason. What made the experiment even interesting is that no one in attendance objected to the conditions of the experiment.

Think about that one for a moment or two.

I asked a question in yesterday’s scribble: What’s the difference between a man eating a woman’s coochie and a woman doing it? The only difference is who is doing it and, of course, the same goes with sucking cock. There are some subliminal differences, shit that you’re aware of but cannot put into words like, women just “feel” different from guys and there’s that whole thing that only women are supposed to suck dick and only guys can eat pussy.

And it’s a lie and a bald-faced one at that. A lot of people know it’s a lie… but social perception, wow, that’s a motherfucker and a half, ain’t it, will keep a lot of people right where they are even if somewhere deep inside their mind, hmm, ya know, it might not be that bad of an idea to find out what all the fussing is about. They don’t and, I think, it’s not because they’re worried about having sex like this so much as they are seriously worried about what others will think should it be discovered that “Dorothy” got her coochie eaten like never before – and it was “Sara” who sent her way beyond seventh heaven.

I’d not say that it’s not a genuine concern because it is – our society, on the whole, still reacts very badly to such things but the question I ask people who point to this as to why they’d never do anything like that is, “How would someone else know that you did this? There’s only two ways that could happen: Either you told someone else or the person you did it with told someone that you both knew – and the word spread faster than the speed of light.”

Otherwise, um, who would know other than yourself and the person you were having this kind of sex with?

Do they know what they’re missing? Again, a lot of people do know; they correctly understand that there must be something to it… because there are a lot of people throwing it down like that – and “a lot” is a gross understatement. The real question is do they wanna risk being shat upon and dismissed from there circle of associates by finding out if it’s true that women eat pussy better than men or that men suck cock better than women?

Many don’t and that’s understandable. People aren’t stupid; it doesn’t take being Wile E. Coyote to reason that, um, having your pussy eaten or your dick sucked feels really damned good and that the only thing that really makes a difference is the skill level of the person doing it. Some folks are of a mind that they’d not go this route because they don’t think they’d be good at it. A real concern… but we learn by doing, don’t we and many people get surprised to find out that, hmm, they’re much better at it than they originally thought.

Guys fucking each other. Scary stuff, right? I’ve asked guys who have had anal sex with women what they though the difference was doing the same thing to a guy… and they’ve all said, “It’s a guy!” when the real answer is, “There is no difference – you’re thinking about the person and not the act itself.” But sticking your dick in a guy’s ass is one thing… having a guy stick his dick in your ass? Whoa – hold up! Yeah, we all know it hurts and that “no one in their right mind would do that” given what that orifice is for… yet, we know that there are men who prefer, like, and love to be fucked and, yup, it doesn’t matter if the object in their backside is the real thing or a fake thing… attached by straps to a woman and some guys prefer a woman pegging them over a man dicking them down.

Why? Because they’re thinking who and not what so much. It is to note that a lot of the guys who like being pegged really do want to know what having the real thing inside them feels like… but they’re afraid to find out and the social angst and all the disease cards being thrown around keeps them from finding out. Do they know what they’re missing?

Yeah… they do, but. What’s the different between a woman pegging a guy and a man having his cock in there? A couple of things and the first is obviously “who…” that and a guy is gonna bust a nut in there (and, safely, in a condom).

Now, it is said that one cannot miss that which they’ve never had and, by and large, this is an accurate statement… except when it comes to sex because while there are many who have not had this kind of sex, there are many, many more who have thought about it – and even if they’ve rejected the notion. What would it be like? Would it be different? Good? The worst thing ever? What would my friends think? Shit, what would I think should such a thing happened and I find that I liked it?

Some folks know people who goes both ways and some are privy to the juicy details so, as least in this context, they do know what they’re missing and more so if, say, “Dorothy” tells “Laura” – and because “Laura has proven that she can be trusted – that “Sara” ate the living daylights out of her and, shit, she didn’t know it could be that good.

And “Laura” might think that, uh-uh – I’d never do that… but what if “Dorothy” has stumbled onto something? She liked it and I know she said she’d never allow that to happen, never thought about it, wouldn’t do it for any reason… but she did.

Hmm. Maybe “Laura” sticks to her guns and chooses not to find out what “Dorothy” has found out – but can it be said that she now knows what she might be missing? And, if she chooses not to, why did she? I’d say that she’s not thinking about getting her pussy eaten – she’s thinking about who’d do it and they’re not male – and thinking about the social angst she’d be subjected to if anyone ever found out.

The truth is that not everyone can break the social conditioning against having sex like this. Some people are aware that there’s something missing in their sexual life and maybe they do, in fact, know what’s missing – but they reject the notion because, forever and ever, people are not supposed to have sex like this…

And in the face of the very real fact that a lot of people are having sex like this and, again, “a lot” is a very gross understatement on my part. Do they know what they’re missing? Maybe. Are they afraid of it? Definitely. Some find out and they’re indifferent about it while others find out and it literally changes their lives because everything they’ve been taught about sex just got invalidated.

It can feel very damned good to have a guy suck your dick and it can feel very damned good to have a woman licking your coochie. We maintain and hold as true that only a woman knows what a woman wants; the reverse is true for men but, ah, we don’t talk about that in this context. And there’s a reason why this “truism” has been around for as long as it has been and even women who are “strictly dickly” have heard this – and they generally agree – but. There’s always that “but” that shows up and the same with guys although, eh, we’re not so much of a mind to admit that except to maybe say that “it makes sense…” but.

Many folks are of a mind that they aren’t missing anything where this is concerned but maybe even they’re wondering why there are so many people who are, um, not missing anything because they’ve added this to the sexual diet. Do I think they’re missing something? Yeah, I do – and it’s not just the sex they’re missing out on.

Okay… there’s nothing wrong with being just straight or gay – if it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it, right? Some people are bi because it is broken and some are bi because they knew something was missing – then found out what it was and the matter of “who” was providing what was missing becomes a non-issue – it’s the what, the sex, the intimacy and, yup, it’s a “different” way to get one’s cookies crumbled.

There is a reason why people who do this for the first time often say, “I didn’t know it could be like this!” or “Now I know what I’ve been missing.” Not so much “who” – although, sure, that matters to some – but “what” – another way to have sex and in addition to the way they’re already having it.

Do they know what they’re missing? Probably – and some are happy missing it… but that is and has been changing exponentially…

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Posted by on 2 January 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: A Kind of Self Doubt

I was sitting here, kinda/sorta paying attention to what the weather weenies on The Weather Channel were talking about and my mind changed channels on me and had me thinking about the many times I wondered why I’d have sex with other guys.

In the early days, shit, there was nothing to think about other than how much fun it was, how “nasty” it was, and relishing in the thrill of doing something boys weren’t supposed to do with each other and risking getting caught at it, knowing that the punishments could be severe. But as time marched on and the initial thrill of it kinda wore off, I’d find myself thinking about the why of it all and, um, sometimes when I was right in the middle of something.

I hadn’t yet learned how to push those distracting thoughts away and I’d find myself deep in thought as a guy was happily screwing me or, sometimes, I’d find myself sucking dick on autopilot because my mind was questioning why I was doing this “bad thing” in the first place.

Today, I still think about all the naysayers who insist that we don’t think about what we’re doing when we lie down with another man and I continue to beg to differ with those who say such things and more so since I’m fairly sure many of them have never had reason to contemplate their actions and any consequences thereof.

That little voice in my head would say, “What are you doing?” and my mental response would be, “What does it look like I’m doing?” and the little voice would be ignored but somewhere along the line, it changed tactics and instead of asking me what, it would ask me, “Why are you doing this?”

Oh, I clearly remember the first time this popped into my head and, it figured, while I was happily screwing a guy and maybe a good minute or so away from creaming his butt. In my head and nearly drowning out our combined moans and cussing, I heard, “Why are you doing this?” and it came around so loudly in my mind that I actually stopped screwing him; the question distracted me so badly that I wasn’t even aware that I was shooting my stuff into him and he was kinda giggling and squirming as my balls emptied.

The distraction seemed to last a long time but it was really only a few seconds or so but the question stuck in my head and it demanded to be answered.

Why indeed? Wasn’t it enough that a lot of girls would let me do it to them, from licking their pussies until they begged me to stop to that glorious feeling of releasing inside of them? Well, no – apparently not.

The question plagued me at times, had me doubting whether or not I was doing the “right thing” by having sex with another guy until one day, the answer to the question came to me… as I was cumming in a guy’s mouth.

Why am I doing this? Because not only does it feel good to do it, it feels pretty damned normal to do it. Do I know how wrong it is? Of course I do, just like I know that it being wrong is… wrong. I hadn’t quite figured out the reason why it was decreed to be wrong but I knew it and as surely as I knew my own name. Sometimes I’d find myself being… detached, like I’m just a spectator of sorts watching myself doing something with a guy.

It was a hyper-awareness, being in the moment but not lost in it – that’s the best I’ve ever been able to explain it. What made this even more interesting was the fact that I’d be… hyper-aware while eating pussy or sliding in and out of a girl and after a few times of being in such a disturbing state of mind, another answer came to me and, hmm, again when I was cumming in a girl who was moaning for me to shoot all I had into her.

It’s sex. Maybe not in the way it’s supposed to be done but sex just the same. It’s reverting to a more primal, basal instinct that’s hard-coded into me – and just as it is in everyone – but there’s an… inhibitor in place, that stuff that gets hammered into us that says there is only one way to have sex and if it’s not with a female, you’re doing it wrong.

Except, it’s not all that wrong. In the beginning, I had asked myself a question: Why does something that’s supposed to be wrong feel so good? And there was only one real answer: Because it’s supposed to feel good; they just tell us that it isn’t good when it feels good when having sex in a way that’s not allowed.

Whatever self-doubt I had been engaging in just went away. Well, maybe not totally because I was now very much aware of that “nugget of morality” that was still in place that would speak up at times when I had a dick in my mouth or in my ass, reminding me that my punishment would be to burn in hell for all of eternity.

And I’d blithely think, “Probably… but I’m not gonna be the only one getting deep-fried for doing this…” The self-doubt would hang around, poking at me, trying to make me second-guess myself as well as doing its best to make me regret jumping on this bandwagon.

“How many times have you not liked the way things went?”

“More than I wanted to be made to think about, thank you not so very much. And just so you know – and I know that you do – how many times have I been with a woman and not liked the way things went? What? Ya got nothing to say now? Yeah… that’s what I thought.”


It didn’t make sense to doubt myself and I thought that maybe I was because I didn’t know or have reason to doubt it before – and now this kind of self-doubt was trying to make up for lost time. It sounded silly when I first thought of it and it still sounds silly at this moment – but when you’re digging around inside of yourself and trying to sort shit out and put it into some kind of order and perspective, yeah, sometimes the things that comes to mind are just silly – but also tends to make sense.

But I also saw that this kind of self-doubt could affect others and now that I could recognize it in myself, I could see it in others. Am I really doing the right thing? Should I be doing this? Many questions generated not only in my mind but others as well and all because that kind of self-doubt wants to show up and shut things down.

I’m screwing a girl and once again became hyper-aware; I’m humping away inside of her, she’s clinging to me, her legs wrapped a bit too tightly around me as she’s humping back against me… and I understood it. I mean I really understood it. It was an epiphany, every question, every moment of that kind of self-doubt became a non-issue. The funny thing is that she must have sensed that I wasn’t “all there” because she stopped moving and asked, “What’s wrong?”

I remember looking down at her, deeply into her eyes before I looked down between us, saw that we were as close as two people can ever be (outside of being in the womb) and I said, “Nothing’s wrong – I just understood something I had been thinking about.”

I finished inside her and I understood what it all meant and the asshole that now lived inside my head saw it and put it into perspective – and it didn’t like that there was no real difference whether I was having sex with a girl or a guy… because it’s sex. I learned, in that moment of hyper-awareness that your body doesn’t give a fuck about who’s giving it pleasure… but your mind does give a fuck until you can learn to ignore the self-doubt, set aside those feelings of wrongness in a given situation, and just enjoy having sex since, um, it’s supposed to be enjoyed even though, yeah, sure – there are gonna be times when it’s not going to be so enjoyable.

Going forward, the asshole in my head stopped asking questions and that kind of self-doubt would sit in the corner and sulk because I wasn’t paying any attention to it. Asshole would just say, “You’re doing it again…” and I’d say, “You’re damned right I am!”

The asshole would try to fuck with me after the fact, saying shit like, “You know your stomach wouldn’t be all queasy and shit if you hadn’t swallowed that guy’s sperm, don’t you?” Yeah, I know… but I had fun doing it. And, yes – there were still the moments where I’d ask myself why I thought doing it with this guy was a good idea… but that was the asshole in my head trying to get some revenge on me for learning how to ignore it.

It was a good idea at the time; doesn’t mean things are going to go – or end – the way ya might think.

I can’t even remember the last time the asshole in my head – and that kind of self-doubt – had anything to say or, realistically, had something to say that I felt a need to pay attention to. What am I doing with this guy? I’m having sex with him – duh. Why? Um, because I wanted to and it feels good? Do I know I’m not supposed to? Yeah, I know it… but ask me if I really give a fuck over this not supposed to be done.

I don’t. I can have sex with men and women; I don’t regret it, don’t doubt any of it. It’s not always a good decision at times but that’s just the way it goes – it’s just an occupational hazard and one that anyone who wants to have sex just accepts as part of the whole thing. Things might not turn out well but most of the time, it always sounds like a good idea at the time and, yeah, sometimes it doesn’t – but let’s do it anyway because it just might turn out to the best decision you made in this moment.

The only question to be asked is, “When can I have sex again?” And the only doubts to be addressed comes in the form of who can I convince to have sex with me – but such a thing has always been in doubt because we all don’t think about sex the same way.

Someone asked me, a long time ago, if I had any doubts or regrets over being naked with another man and doing whatever with him and I said that if I had any – and I’m not saying that I didn’t – they are of no consequence; what’s done is done and while I can always second-guess or doubt my decision to have sex, eh, what’s the point in doing this when, again, what’s done is done. And, importantly, I understand this and, uh-huh – I’m not the only one who understands it.

It’s being human. Having sex. Doesn’t matter if I’m eating pussy or sucking dick or being as physically a part of someone as humanly possible outside of the womb. Because not doing this doesn’t make sense and feels wrong. This isn’t a fairy tale; it’s not even the accepted/ideal way to have sex – this is real-deal, real-life shit and shit that says that who you do it with doesn’t matter all that much as long as it’s being done and the outcome, well, it’s gonna be whatever it’s gonna be since it’s better to try and fail than to not try at all.

And not trying at all? That’s the real failure, the real reason that kind of self-doubt should rise up and make you question yourself about having sex. There is always the way it’s supposed to be and there’s the way it can be… and one of those ways involve getting a man’s cock hard and doing something to make it soft again and/or having a guy get your cock deliciously hard so he can make it deliciously soft. And if all of this happens with a woman – substitute clit for cock for her – okay, that works, too, because it’s supposed to work.

I have no doubts about this. None. Zero. I’m just being the way I can be in this and if the asshole that lives in my head doesn’t like it – and, by the way, the asshole still doesn’t like it – well, too bad.

I like it both ways and that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it.

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Posted by on 26 December 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Picking a Side Within a Side

Making the decision to go over to the bi side is a major one, hands down. But once it’s made, there remains the whole doing part; one must not only decide upon what to do but decide whether they want to be a top or a bottom and I’ll say “primarily” because it seems that guys who’d go either way are becoming a rarity these days.

While it’s fine and dandy for a guy to make such a decision for himself, the “problem” are the other guys who have also made such a decision and the tendency to run into guys who have chosen the “same side,” which has me wondering what happens when two tops or two bottoms get interested in each other?

It does happen and a lot of guys manage to bypass this, ah, conflict of interest so a top might be checking out another guy, find him desirable but upon discovering that the object of his lust is a top as well, sometimes, that’s a deal breaker and the hunt continues. Bottoms are… curious creatures these days – they want to be “the girl” in this from being the one to suck cock and definitely the one to get screwed but, sure, two bottoms can find each other interesting but upon discovering that they’re the same in this, can anything happen between them? I’d have to say, “Normally, no…” because in either situation, it’s like trying to make two magnets connect to each other by matching up their respective north poles which results in the magnets pushing each other away.

Way back when I first met and started communicating with Cityman, wow, he had these “grand plans” on being a top and sticking to it religiously because taking in the ass, well, hmm, nah, not his idea of a good time. I asked him, “So what are you gonna do when you hook up with a guy and he decides he wants to stick it in you? It’s not really all that unusual for two tops to hook up and suck cock but I’ve come across many a top who isn’t going to settle for just sucking dick – they’re gonna want to fuck and since y’all are already naked and dicks are hard, um, what would you do?”

Back in those early days of contact, he was uncertain about what to do in this situation but felt that if blow jobs were what was agreed to, then that should be the only thing that happens which makes sense… but isn’t always the reality of things because people do change their minds. Then I asked him, “Well, what are you gonna do when you’ve agreed to exchange blow jobs and something inside you, um, wants that dick inside you?”

Of course, he didn’t think – at the time – that such a thing could happen and said as much, prompting me to point out that if I didn’t know for a fact that it can happen, I wouldn’t have asked the question. I used these scenarios to teach him a lesson, that being, despite what was originally agreed to, one should always be prepared for those times when a prior agreement just might go out of the window, that and even though you’re a top, don’t ever assume that out of the clear blue sky, you’re gonna get the urge to be screwed.

I remember telling him, “You don’t have to believe me – you’ll find out soon enough!”

And he did, too – but I knew he would.

Some bottoms find that adhering rigidly to the role of being a bottom can be just as problematic. A lot of bottoms aren’t interested in having their cock sucked but, hmm, the guy sitting across from them resonates with them and enough for sex to happen but doesn’t it get interesting when two cock suckers want to suck cock and be fucked… but might not be of a mind to be sucked and/or do some fucking?

Yeah, it does… which makes being more flexible and adaptive a more favorable way to be. Like I told Cityman, it’s not that, say, getting boned is something you’re gonna do as a matter of course – you don’t have to if you don’t want to – but somewhere along the line, you’re gonna want to or it’ll be something that the moment just calls for and if you don’t learn how to wrap your head around this and develop the ability to adapt and be flexible in a given moment, your experiences are going to probably a lot less favorable, that or getting with that guy who you’re interested in having some carnal knowledge of ain’t gonna happen.

Facts are that there are some guys who don’t give a fuck which side within a side you’ve chosen for yourself. They wanna fuck you even if you’re a top like they are; likewise, there are pushy bottoms who will demand that you give them da business “like a man is supposed to” even if the other guy is a bottom just like they are.

What does a “rabid cocksucker” do when they find themselves with a guy who doesn’t want his cock sucked? Pretty awkward, wouldn’t you agree? Some guys are so strictly dedicated to their role that going with the flow of things is fairly anathema to them and what could have been the start of a beautiful friendship winds up circling the drain.

I think the dynamic kinda/sorta recognizes this dilemma because now there’s a “new breed” of guys who say they’re top/verse or bottom/verse and, well, that just makes me shake my head since my understanding has always been you’re either versatile or you aren’t but, okay, maybe it’s just a way to say that you’re a top – but you might bottom (and usually with the right guy) and vice versa.

Maybe. To me, it’s just as silly as those folks who insist that they’re “bi with the right person” because, um, duh, that’s the way it usually works. Still – and regardless to the labels – I think guys who are demonstrating a lot more adaptability and flexibility is a good thing because it’s been kinda/sorta proven that those who cannot adapt and are inflexible wind up missing a lot of good sex with really decent guys.

Those guys are usually the ones moaning and groaning about not being able to find a man to have sex with and because they’ve taken a stance and position and will not budge from it. Sure… they don’t have to if they don’t want to but that’ll guarantee that getting the dick you crave ain’t gonna happen as much as needed.

Have I ever mentioned how funny guys are about this?

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Posted by on 28 November 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Getting It Done

Once someone gets past the “why me” moment and decide that doing something is the thing to do, it’s now all about giving some thought about what to do and, importantly, who to do it with.

Figuring out what is probably the easy part and, for men and as I’ve written about, the entry level starting point is oral sex with another guy (and probably the same for women but, eh, they don’t talk about it so much). A lot of guys find their inhibitions slipping away now that they’re in a position to explore their feelings or, if they didn’t get hit by the truck that came out of nowhere, they can now do that stuff that they’ve been thinking about for the longest time from sucking cock to finally getting the answer to what it feels like to be fucked and have a load of spunk fired into them.

That’s the easy part. The hard part is trying to find someone and it seems to me that, today, a lot of guys make this more difficult than it has to be, that and one of the things they discover is that you can’t tell a bi guy from a straight guy just by looking at them and no one wants to hit on a guy and proposition him and then find out the guy ain’t like that and, oops, he might not be polite about being hit on for a sexual encounter.

Prior to the Internet and all the apps we see today as a matter of course, if you wanted some dick, you had to go looking for it or, if you were lucky, you’d be minding your own business and some guy would come over to you, strike up a conversation, then proposition you in some way and you’d have to make a snap decision to take him up on his offer or politely refuse. Going at it this was often more miss than hit – and depending on where you live, of course, but it remains true that if/when you wanted some dick, you had to put in some work in order to get some dick and the way you wanted it.

Today, the apps have made things wide open and using them gives a guy such a wide and diverse choice of men to engage with. I know in the early days of the apps, wow, there was plenty of dick to play with and from guys who were aboveboard and true about themselves, their intentions for wanting to get with you, and what, if anything, they expected. Sometimes it was just the “quick and dirty” hookup; meet me here or come over to my place and we can get it on, bust our nuts, go on about our business and maybe we can get together and do this again but if not, well, we still had fun.

But as time went on, using the apps got… complicated. Guys were very aware of the fact that the Internet allowed them a great deal of anonymity and there was – and still is today – a lot bullshit going on, from guys who’d talk a good game and enough to get you interested and then, when it was time to get it done, he was a no-show and if he bothered to explain his absence, most of the time, it was so lame that a blind man could see through the lies these guys would tell.

Don’t even get me started with the hyper-macho and overly aggressive guys you can find on almost all of the apps. While you’d think that the apps make it easier because there are so many men looking to do the nasty with other men, at times, they’re more of a problem than they are a lot of help. A lot of guys were successful with Craigslist… until a new law went into effect and Craigslist’s operators complied with the law and shut down that part of their service, leaving perhaps millions of guys (and maybe gals, too) without a source for this kind of sex… and now they’re looking for alternatives and having to rely on the apps which, again, can be quite the clusterfuck.

I see a lot of guys on the forum saying they haven’t done anything because they can’t find any guys… and what they mean is that they can’t find the specific kind of guy they’re looking for even if such a guy only exists in their minds but it seems to me that actually leaving the apps and websites alone and hitting the bricks – and like we had to do in the pre-Internet days – isn’t something they feel like doing.

Admittedly, it’s not all that easy to get it done when you’ve decided on this. It can leave you discouraged and frustrated to the point where they just stop trying to take care of their need to do this and then studiously try to ignore the urge. All I can say to these folks is to don’t give up and to look everywhere because you just never know when someone you can get it done with will show up and, sometimes, from unexpected directions.

Having the sex is easy. I know that guys fret over a great many things that makes them set conditions that are almost impossibly high and I don’t think they’re aware of this or, if they are, they stand on their right to set the bar as high as they need to but they’re the same guys who are always complaining about not being able to find someone compatible enough to do what they’ve been wanting to do since discovering – or rediscovering – their bisexuality.

When people ask me what to do about this, again, I tell them not to give up but I also tell them to give some thought about making it easier for someone to get at you by setting the bar lower; take a look at your preferences and the conditions you’ve put in place and minimize/simplify them; if you’re looking for guys with monster-sized dicks only, you’re passing up a lot of guys with “smaller” cocks who just might give you the thrills you’re looking for. Pay more attention to the person and what makes them tick more than just looking at them because what you see might not be as good as you think it is.

Most guys prefer to get it done with other guys who are similar to themselves; some guys want guys who are almost a polar opposite to the person they are – no secret that opposites attract, right? A lot of guys are seriously opposed to hooking up and experiencing the dreaded blow and go and while I understand this, um, being opposed to this isn’t getting you the sex you’re craving but as I’ve said a lot, casual sex is almost forbidden in the M2M world and to the point where just merely hooking up for a blow and go moment is the last thing on their list of things to do when they want to get it done – and get done.

Guys worry about the health risks and this, too, is understandable but, guys, that’s what they make condoms for – use them and make it a non-negotiable item or, as they used to say, “No glove, no love!”

Sometimes, in order to get it done, you just gotta “take a chance” whether it’s a hookup situation or one that you’ve patiently crafted over a period of time; at some point, you’re gonna have to make the decision to do it or go back to sitting on the bench. It’s a scary moment for those men and women who are on the verge of having that moment of truth that will reveal if they can really do what they want to do or not and I don’t think or believe that’s there’s really a way to avoid “taking a chance” in that sense.

What I do know is that if you don’t, guess what ain’t gonna happen? Then give some thought about the levels of frustration and a few other things you’re gonna have to deal with. What I know is that many men and women kinda say, “Fuck it…” and just do it and discover that they’ve been sitting on the sidelines and worrying about this or that… and find there wasn’t anything to worry about.

“Why did I wait so long before doing this?” is a sentiment I hear a lot of and while not every first experience has that “storybook” happy finish, many find that, overall, it was better for them to get out there and do something about the way they’ve been feeling – they’ve gotten their feet (and other stuff) wet, gotten over whatever fears were fucking with their heads and, importantly, now know how to proceed in this going forward… and if they choose to do so… and many do.

Because that shit just feels so fucking good, it seems.

Make sure you’re gonna be safe; look for opportunities wherever you go because you never know when you’re gonna run into someone who wants the same thing you want. If you can, make it “easier” for someone to get you into a bed while not compromising what I’ll call your core stance on doing it like this. You can get what you want and the way you want it but, to me, it just makes sense to make it easier to get it rather than making it hard on yourself. Develop a sense of adventure because diving into this particular pool is, indeed, an adventure; it’ll have its ups and downs and you’re gonna learn some stuff about this that you need to learn – and I’m telling you this so that you don’t have to learn these things the hard way.

Don’t be so… picky and superficial; some of the best sex I’ve ever had in this has been with people who ain’t even close to being the “Ken and Barbie” type but their personality and mindset have been right on the money and the sex was quite gratifying.

If you’ve been thinking about getting it done, it’s on and up to you to make this happen and in the best way you can but, in my opinion, if this is what you want to do, you have to be willing to put in whatever work is necessary to get it done and to get done.

If you’re not willing to do the work, well, I don’t know what to tell you except that if you’re not getting what you want and need, the blame for this lies completely on you.

I maintain that if this is something you really want and need to do, you will find a way to get it done so you can get done.

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Posted by on 11 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Finally Thought About Something!

Well, that didn’t take as long as I thought it would and, unsurprisingly, the thought popped into my head… while making another cup of coffee and changing the filter in our Keurig brewer.

The other day and while clearing out yet another spammer in Tumblr, I saw a clip of two men having sex. Normally, I note these things and don’t pay much attention to them but this one actually got my attention so I sat and watched the whole thing.

A “younger daddy type” was laying the pipe to an Oriental twink but it wasn’t this stereotypical coupling or the expected multiple position changes, a rather passionate kiss between them, or even the expected ass-to-mouth cock sucking moment – or the fact that the twinky guy was sucking “daddy’s” dick in the beginning that got my attention:

It was the way they were going about it. None of that hair pulling, slapping the other guy around; no gratuitous ass eating other shit that I find to not only be outrageous but totally unnecessary. The twink gave “young daddy” a couple of nice, long, slow sucks, laid back and there’s the close-up shot of hard dick going into not-so-tight ass. No “Oh, my god he’s fucking me so good!” nonsense; none of that, “Yeah, you know you want this dick, bitch!” shit and most definitely no rough stuff.

Just one guy fucking another guy without any drama queen or uber-macho bullshit and I had thought, “This is the way it should be – just two grown men giving into and enjoying that primal urge that drove them to do this in the first place.”

As the scene changed to show a really close-up shot of “young daddy” reinserting himself while the twinky guy was in the missionary position, I thought about the many people who’d freak out seeing something like this and how the thought of being fucked in the ass can even freak out bisexual men and I remember shrugging and I know it was my lack of a bias about this that made me shrug and think that, well, it is what it is and what it’s always been.

Thoughts like this were floating through my mind as I watched the clip, noting how easy they were together and as if this might not have been their first time together. Put the dick in, take it out, repeat. No trying to beat the guy’s asshole down or trying to hammer him through the bed – just “young daddy” fucking an Oriental twinky kind of guy.

The scene changed – they’re back in the missionary position (and after going through all the other very predictable ones) and the camera zooms in real close and in time to see “young daddy’s” cock buried deeply in twinky guy’s bottom and furiously pumping away.

I said to myself, “Hmm…” as the twinky guy was being inseminated; none of that pulling out for the money shot and spraying spunk all over the place; none of those fuck faces you tend to see in such things, and no overly done moaning and groaning, either.

Just “young daddy” emptying his balls into twinky guy’s butt. They did do that other gratuitous thing; “young daddy” pulls out in the close up and you see the “proof” of insemination when twinky guy pushes the spunk out of his butt.

I felt myself frowning at this and thinking, “Was that shot really necessary? I mean, it was obvious that homey was pumping it in, ya know?” I’ll admit that there’s something… sensual about seeing a dick delivering its spunky load and no matter who’s on the receiving end of it. In a lot of porn, eh, you usually don’t see the pumping action since, usually, the guy pulls out and jerks off all over the place. Or if he stays in there, seeing the pumping might not be so… prominent since in most cases, the guy had already gotten rid of that first load and now he’s on his second wind and, well, his unloading isn’t so… vigorous.

The clip ended and I closed Tumblr with my mind flooded with both a lot of memories as well as a lot of thoughts about what I’d just watched. People make such a big deal about people having same-sex sex and more so when the participants are both male. They see or know of the act – but they don’t see the raw, primal beauty that’s there to be seen and more so when the participants – and even opposite sex ones – aren’t trying to over-emphasize what they’re doing.

They may see people on a screen doing shameful and “nasty” things… but not seeing people doing what we were designed to do and, yes, even when the participants are both male. I thought about how… juvenile we can be about sex and how what we know can happen – and what does happen – makes us hide our heads in the sand and as if it shames us to be so intimate with each other and in the many combinations we can do so.

My thoughts then turned to the many guys who would have loved to be the twinky guy in the clip or the guys who’d want to be the “young daddy” and I shrugged to think about how difficult men can make it when, in fact, they want to be that guy in the clip I watched. They’re so… conditional, demanding in a way, and all about what they specifically want and not really giving a fuck about what they could be doing, that which is possible but, sadly, not on their preferred list of things to do with another guy.

That clip, to me, represented a display of M2M porn and as I thought it should be; again, no overacting, no outrageous displays, facial expressions, or any of the other shit that plagues and, I think, sullies M2M sex. It was sex in it’s most raw and primal way and if either man in the clip was worried about catching something because it was done in the raw, well, you didn’t see it – all you saw, at the end, was “young daddy’s” cock pumping away to complete the act of sex and intimacy and not so different from when a man is pumping away inside a woman, whether it’s porn or real life sex.

It was intimate and that, I think, is what struck me and held my attention. I thought about the bottom guys on the bi forum and how they’re embracing the intimacy of being taken, screwed, and inseminated with care; not necessarily lovingly in that romantic sense but intimately. Yeah, some guys are the raving sex-crazed lunatics you usually see in M2M porn as they impose their will and lust on a guy who’s acting like he’s being murdered and, supposedly, loving being fucked that way and, I think, absent the intimacy that should be displayed instead of showing how our lust, as men, can often make us behave badly.

No wonder there’s a lot of women who don’t wanna give us any pussy.

As I cranked up my Xbox One to go back to working on the oceans of lava I was trying to make go away, I thought about the male size queens, those dudes who defiantly say that if the other guy’s dick ain’t eight inches or better, don’t even bother to ask. “Young daddy” wasn’t gigantic but he wasn’t small, either. He didn’t have that long, fat, thick dick that a lot of men say they’d give their left nut – and their asshole – for… and I thought those size queens would have been disappointed at “young daddy’s size” and, as such, would have passed on what would have been a very intimate fucking.

Those who prefer the guy fucking them to bring lots of noise – and roughly so – would have been disappointed because “young daddy” wasn’t in a hurry… but he wasn’t really taking his time, either although, with the clip’s editing, the five minutes shown seemed to take much longer than that.

As I proceed in my task to make all that lava go away, I shrugged to myself about all of it; it just is what it is but, perhaps, not what it could be if we ever get around to getting our collective heads out of our collective assess and see this kind of sex – and even girl/girl sex – as being as normal and natural as anything else we do when we want and need to have sex.

I’m dropping block after block of red sand into the huge lake of lava that was on my agenda to get rid of and it’s something I’ve gotten so used to doing that I don’t even think about, leaving me thinking space to think about how squeamish we can be about sex – period. From M2M or F2F to group sex, open relationships and marriages to poly relationships, we often behave as if having sex in these ways is something we’re not supposed to do but we do admit or otherwise concede that sex – and having sex – is, in fact, normal… as long as it’s boy/girl only and no one else gets invited or it’s not done in the same-sex mode.

I shrugged again and even sighed when I again recognized my own lack of bias when it comes to these things because, sure, been there, done pretty much all of that stuff I just mentioned and have seen F2F up close and personal enough times to be in awe at how easily and passionately women can make love to each other and, yeah, sometimes feeling jealous about it or envious at the level of intimacy before my eyes… and even when that level of intimacy was something new for someone to experience.

I mean, who knew, right?

Not wrong, not nasty, not perverted – just sex and, perhaps, the way it’s supposed to be in giving in to one’s desires and need for sex while relishing the intimacy and, really, not being all that particular about who they’re being intimate with if that’s the way things should go in that quest for sexual satisfaction and the intimacy that goes along with it, the inherent beauty to be seen in sex, and that we don’t always pay attention to these things – but we’re quick to talk about what’s wrong about it and even quicker to lay shame on those who love that raw, beautiful, passionate and intimate moments when they’re having sex, either in the preferred way or, really, in any way that makes them happy.

Yeah, all of this popped into my head while making coffee and changing the filter and now my head is once more empty – at least for this moment.

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Posted by on 8 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What Men Tend to Learn

When a guy decides to take the plunge with another guy he has to learn how to have sex this way and one of the things that kinda messes with their head is the perception that getting down and dirty with a guy is very different from being with a woman but they eventually learn that, nah, it’s not really all that different.

Some men like to kiss and cuddle as a prelude to sex, like having their nipples, neck, and ears sucked or otherwise messed with, their cock sucked and some think having their ass eaten is the cat’s pajamas. For guys into getting boned in da butt, they even get to learn why women get “that look” on their faces in that moment when they’re first penetrated and the dick is going in them and, as such, they most definitely learn what it’s like to be fucked.

What they also learn is what it’s like to be subjected to another man’s lust as well as why women tend to have the opinions about us – men – when it comes to looking for sex up to and including how we can behave when we get it… and some of it isn’t what I’d call nice.

The first example of this is when guys have their first cock sucking experience. Now, I really can’t say what guys who are waiting for their first cock sucking experience think when they’re playing out that first time in their mind; what I do know is that what can happen doesn’t always match the scenario in their heads. There’s nothing more… disappointing? (can’t think of the right word – need more coffee) than to think that you’re going to be presented with the dick and you’re gonna give it the kind of attention you’ve always imagined… but the guy attached to the dick has other ideas the moment your mouth engulfs his knob.

Maybe he just chills and let you go through your discovery process or, as I’ve often heard, he starts doing shit to your mouth and as if you’re a life long master cock sucker, from trying to jam all of his dick down your throat to grabbing you by the head and fucking your face with reckless abandon and while being called all kinds of bitches, whores, etc..

And it’s more upsetting – and this is the word I should have used above – when what he does when he gets his dick in your mouth isn’t what you agreed to before the fact… and definitely not what you expected or anticipated for that storybook first time.

You find out pretty quick why some women aren’t all that enthusiastic about sucking dick.

Likewise when a guy is taking his first dick in the ass. Again, I’m thinking that a lot of guys eager and waiting for this create all kinds of scenarios in their heads for how it’ll all play out and all that. Maybe the guy takes to heart that this is your first time and does his level best to make the most difficult part – getting the dick in you – as painless as possible then giving you all the time you need to either adjust to this huge invasion as well as giving you that moment to either tap out or tell him to proceed with the fucking… and then the fucking takes place with great consideration and care until he unloads into a condom or directly into your butt, leaving you feeling pleased, satisfied and well-fucked.

Or – and again as I’ve often heard – the guy gets you into position and maybe one that wasn’t included in those scenarios, positions himself at your back door and pushes… and you almost pass out or throw up from the incredibly painful sensation and one that can never, ever match your knowledge that, yeah, it’s gonna hurt going in… and now you know what that feels like. Not only has he taken a running start and leaped into your formerly virgin hole and like you’ve been taking dick in your ass for years, he’s not even giving you a chance to get adjusted, doesn’t ask if you’re okay, and not giving you the option to tap out.

And, oh, yeah, trying to get him out of you and/or getting away from him ain’t likely to happen since, for one, you’re now fully impaled on his dick and he’s got a hold of you and you’re not going anywhere until he gets done. Before the fact, you told him to take it easy and to go slow, not so much for the enjoyment factor but ya still gotta get used to this very strange and different thing happening to your body but, nah, he’s reneged on his word to take it easy and he’s hammering your ass so hard and fast that your body is being jarred so hard that instead of that heavenly feeling you imagined, you’re about to throw up – and that’s if you didn’t barf when he slammed his dick into you in one fell swoop.

And now you’re being fucked in a way that you probably didn’t want to be fucked and you sure as hell didn’t factor this in when you were thinking about what it’s gonna be and feel like. If you were expecting some tender, gentle fucking and like you’ve seen in gay porn, well, that’s not what he’s doing! Or, if you were, in fact, expecting to get your hole ravaged – and by that big, thick dick you’ve been dreaming about, um, he’s doing anything but ravaging your virgin butthole and, as a matter of fact, he fucking you like he has all day to do it and it’s starting to seem like he’s never going to bust a nut, either in a condom or via direct injection and insemination.

Maybe he’s manhandling you in some way or otherwise making things uncomfortable, oh, like, having you in the missionary position and making your hips and legs do things that they’ve not been conditioned to do and instead of it being that heady, pleasing thing you’ve imagined, your whole body is sending a lot of red alerts to your brain as your joints, tendons, and muscles are being abused – and right along with that thick phone pole of a dick being buried in your rectum.

You find out pretty quickly why some women react the way they do when they’re being screwed in a way they didn’t want or expect to be as well as why they get leery and/or hesitant to give up the coochie to you. You learn that being subjected to a man’s lust can be very damned scary and that some guys are so Jekyll and Hyde – the nicest guy you’ve ever met before the fact, and a ravening animal once he gets his dick into your mouth or ass.

You learn that when a guy is being consumed by his lust, um, he’s not so good at following directions and you find out that if you, in any way, interrupt the flow of what they’re doing, eh, they kinda/sorta don’t like having their groove disturbed and more so if you’re complaining about something. You learn that when a guy gets his dick in your mouth or ass, he somehow suffers from hearing loss as well as a loss of vision – can’t he see and hear that you’re gagging and making those “I’m gonna hurl!” sounds as he rams all of his dick down your throat your attempts to make him back off are being ignored? Or, again, if he’s got you in the missionary position, can’t he see the obvious pained look on your face? Can’t he feel your whole body trying to remove itself from the source of the discomfort; shit, can’t he feel your hands trying to prevent him from driving all that dick into you and, likewise, isn’t he aware of how you’re struggling to get him out of you… or is he, like so many guys, misinterpreting all of this and, in his mind, he’s giving you one hell of a good fucking?

You learn why women tend to make it damned near impossible to bed them and because you’ve learned that a guy will tell you anything he thinks you want to hear in order to use his dick on you and all those conditions that you created in your head around this thing are and can be disregarded and any “promises” he made in order to get you to give it up will and can be reneged.

If you come away feeling used, abused and so dirty that no amount of soap and water will ever make you feel clean again, now you know how even you can make a woman feel when you’re subjecting her to your lust and that gut-wrenching feeling when her words tells you that she enjoyed what you did… but her body language and her eyes are saying something else. You can learn why she just might lie there and do her impersonation of a dead body while you’re doing whatever to her or that look of joy on her face isn’t because you made her feel heavenly… but the look means that she’s thrilled to no end that you’re finally finished.

You learn what it’s like to be treated like a woman and while it’s true that many men just love being treated in this way, many more men find out that, oh, hell, no – this is some fucked up shit and it sure as fuck ain’t what they thought it would be like. Yeah… you get to find out why women are often totally disillusioned the first time they get laid… and a lot of this is because what they imagined it would be like turned out not to be that fairy tale moment they envisioned… and that’s despite having their female friends telling them about their first time and how totally fucked up it turned out to be.

Yes, some guys from the very beginning want to be made a bitch for other men while those guys who’d prefer not to be somebody’s bitch learns what it’s like when the other guy is trying to do just that either by the way he’s using his dick or the verbal abuse being hurled you way when he says, “Yeah, suck daddy’s dick, bitch!” or when he’s mindlessly hammering your aching butthole and he’s saying, “Yeah, you like this dick, don’t you, bitch? Whose pussy is this? Say my name, bitch!”

Forget all that staged bullshit you see in porn; real life sex with another man can be an entirely different animal and one you may not find to your liking. It’s not to say that some guys really and truly don’t want to be taken by a man and like he’d take a woman – it’s just that a lot of guys do learn that being taken like this just ain’t their cup of tea.

Even when they know how other guys’ first time went for them and I guess even when they know this, they’re thinking, “That’s not gonna go down like that for me!” – and then it does and now they’re feeling some kind of way. Now they’re second-guessing themselves and questioning why they thought having sex with a man was such a good idea… and why they were so sure it would be all that and a bag of chips.

Now, it’s not that guys don’t have a good first experience because they do; I’m just the guy telling you that it might not be as good as you imagined or even, fuck, planned it to be. You learn that what you want and how you want it to happen can sometimes not mean a damned thing because it’s not about you – it’s about him and whatever he wants to do to you; he might start out going along with your version of how this should be and, if you’re lucky and have chosen rightly, it’s happy ending time…

Or that one nightmare you didn’t expect or anticipate and one that’s going to haunt the fuck out of you going forward and if you even move on from that horrifying first experience.

And now you know why women behave the way they do when you want to fuck them. You understand why many women make having sex with them so conditional it’s almost impossible to have sex with them because it’s almost impossible to not only meet those really exacting conditions, it’s almost impossible to consistently meet them. It’s not like some guys aren’t aware of women who are like this – it’s the thing that makes them set up their own specific and rigidly strict conditions which also has the effect of setting the bar so high that no one can reach it and, as such, they ain’t getting any dick and in whatever way they wanted it.

A lot of men get royally pissed when they run into a guy who’s behaving like a woman would and, to them, it doesn’t make any sense… but that’s because they, themselves, have no idea what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a man’s lust. Such men do, in fact, expect other guys to act and behave just as they do like that very annoying thing they like to do when they say, “Less talking, more getting to the sex – what is there to talk about? You wanna get with a dick… and I wanna give it to you so fuck all these questions and telling me what you want and how you want it and let me do what I wanna do…”

“Bitch-assed motherfucker.”

I know that when I have the honor and privilege to talk to a first-timer about this, this is the one aspect I tell them and one I really want them to understand: What you’re thinking is one thing but what might really happen could be something else. If you’ve read all of this – and I do hope that you have – you might get the impression that by telling a guy all of this, I’m trying to talk him out of taking the plunge… and you’d be right on the money. I’ve learned that a lot of guys get into this with no real clue about how surreal this can be and that whatever they’ve imagined it’s going to be like may or may not match up nicely or perfectly. I even tell them to think about how they go about propositioning women for sex and, if successful, how they have that sex with them and, specifically, how they behave when laying the pipe to her and, being specific again, asking them if they’ve ever really paid attention to how the woman they’re fucking is reacting.

And if they do, in fact, know this and are aware of their actions, well, now, this is something you can look forward to experiencing when you get naked with a guy and his dick gets hard. Maybe he’ll take your ideas or whatever into consideration and give you the first experience and the way you imagined it would be… and, really, chances are very good that you’re about to get one hell of a wakeup call.

And let’s keep in mind that a lot of guys aren’t all that aware of how women behave when they have sex with them, let alone what they’re doing, how they’re doing it and most certainly whatever is going to come out of their mouth when trying to convince a woman that she’s not making a mistake by letting you get at her.

I can pretty much guarantee that if you didn’t know, you’re gonna find out.

Even those guys who, for their first experience, imagine themselves being the top, serving up the dick and running the whole show because, you know how it is, they want to retain every aspect of their masculinity and are expecting the other guy to be just as masculine as they treat them just like any other woman they’ve ever had sex with… only to find out he’s dealing with a guy who’s behaving like a woman would, asking a shitload of questions, setting a lot of very specific conditions and wanting another shitload of assurances and other such things and before he’ll even consider meeting you, let alone getting naked with you.

To those guys, well, you just might be in for a big surprise and more so if you’ve determined and set the condition in your mind that dicking down a feminine-acting guy isn’t going to be your idea of fun. You may even be forming your “I’m the boss here and what I say goes” plans and part of your master plan is to avoid any emotional attachment and, usually, guys plan for this because they have no fucking idea how powerful sex is and what it can do to someone else, oh, like, totally unlocking emotions that are usually tightly locked down in all most all men.

If ya think like this, oh, boy, are you about to get one hell of an education! Hell, even my protege tells me that it drives him totally batshit when the guys he’s with behaves like a woman would with all the conditions and need for assurances like being exclusively his guy and other things that, I think, guys who decide to be a top don’t ever think about.

They “foolishly” expect and require other men to act like men at all times and that’s just unrealistic.

Guys get a hard and fast lesson in not only what it’s like to be the girl in this but an equally hard and fast lesson of how “I want what I want and the exact way I want it!” doesn’t mean shit because this kind of thinking doesn’t match up with the other guy’s version of this.

And how having this mindset prevents them from doing whatever they wanna do with another guy. And you know how it goes: I’m the guy who will tell you about this and tell you how very real it is because I, too, learned these lessons and, yeah, sometimes, the hard way.

And most guys do learn this the hard way right from the start, I’m sorry to say. It’s why so many men who were eager to dive in wind up being discouraged, disappointed, disillusioned and just all kinds of fucked up in the head because what they thought or imagined – or finely tuning what they want and the way they want it…

Doesn’t mean jack shit. You don’t have to believe me but rest assured that at some point, you’re gonna find out that I wasn’t bullshitting you.

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Posted by on 4 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Asking Too Much?

A guy on the “new forum” asked this question and with reference to his desire to be the “monkey in the middle” as two guys have their way with him, one in his butt, the other in his mouth. The membership was pretty positive with their comments and quite a few wrote that they’d be eager to experience this themselves.

Is it asking too much? Well, no, not really – whatever floats your boat and all that and the fantasy of such a thing can be pretty exciting to think about; it doesn’t surprise me at all that a lot of guys want to have this MMM experience because, if nothing else, it’s a… test of concept (and because I can’t think of anything else to call it) that provide additional “proof” that they like dick as much as they’ve found that they do. It’s also quite the challenge and not just because you’ve got two horny dudes working together to do a number on you.

It’s challenging because most people don’t have a clue about having sex with more than one person. One of the things that is assumed – and I really don’t know why – is that three guys getting together to have sex with each other not only makes sense but it’s not as difficult as, say, getting a woman to join two guys in bed… when it’s not as easy as it’s presumed to be because, as I’ve said a lot, guys are funnier about this than women are.

Some MMM threesomes do happen spontaneously; to one and all involved, sure, sounds like it’ll be fun – let’s do it! But it’s something that has to be planned and with particular focus on the participants and their unique personalities, those things they find attractive about men and, importantly, their willingness to share something in a group setting that, as a matter of course, is more of a one-on-one activity

You’d think that “Pete,” “Frank,” and “Earl,” because they all like dick, they’d be on the same page about this and be more than eager to do it… and you’d be mistaken because for a MMM threesome to jump off, there’s more to it than all three guys liking dick. There are a lot of questions to be answered before “Pete” invites the other two guys:

  1. Are they even interested in doing it like this? Some guys dream about this act between three guys but doesn’t mean they really wanna do it like that.
  2. Does everyone know each other and, if so, do they even like each other enough to get naked in this group setting?
  3. Does anyone have any modesty or other issues that might be a problem pulling this off? As an example, if “Earl” is feeling some kind of way about the size of his cock, it’s one thing to let one guy get at him… but two? This situation gets “worse” in the case where “Earl” is very familiar with “Pete…” but doesn’t know “Frank” all that well.
  4. What’s everyone’s idea of being sexually attracted? It’s not unusual for guys to know and like each other enough to hang out… but when it comes to doing the nasty, eh, not really each other’s type so much even though all three guys like cock and ass.

I’ve found that if these things aren’t taken into consideration when thinking, “Ya know, I think it’d be fun if all of us got nasty with each other!” uh, things usually don’t go very well. Sure, you get some guys sauced enough, their inhibitions take a hike, and they’re all gung-ho for whatever happens but, conversely, the removal of their inhibitions might reveal that they’re a lot more nervous in the service than their un-sauced behavior tends to indicate; they’d be just fine in a one-on-one setting but a group thing lights up all kinds of caution lights.

If there’s some reluctance, sure, it’s possible to get all persons involved engaged in something but with a cloud of reticence hanging over things that, frankly, ain’t gonna be a good thing. I’ve heard guys talk about their unsuccessful attempts at this and they’ve wondered just what the fuck went wrong… and what went wrong is that they overlooked the fact that guys are funny about how they have sex and more so if they’ve never been in this situation before. It’s one thing to be talking to a guy and this comes up and he says, in theory, that he thinks this would be hot and all that… and obviously something very different when he finds himself in that moment of truth.

It’s deeply ingrained in us to only have sex with one person at a time and it’s not easy to set this aside even though ya might think it would be fun; shit, some guys are funny about getting undressed in front of just one guy so you might be able to imagine how getting undressed before two guys might make them feel. Some guys are even funny about the dicks they like to play with so if a guy is a fan of cut cocks and now he’s with two other guys – and one of them is uncut – oops; that might be a problem.

Ditto for cock size. A lot of guys subscribe to the “bigger is better” school of thought and guys who have issues with the size of their dick might not be of a mind to let more than one person know that they don’t measure up and “as expected.” And, yeah, some guys have self-esteem issues about the condition of their body and it can be a stretch to initially get naked with one guy but really pushes their comfort level when there are two guys eyeballing them from head to toe… and they might not like what they see.

I’d say that it’s not asking to much to want what you want… but you might be asking a lot of other guys you might want to engage with. There are, in fact, a lot of guys who think they can do this; they also find out that thinking and doing sure as fuck ain’t the same things.

Cityman asked me one time (actually more than once but I digress on this one) if being in a threesome would bother me and I had to laugh since, um, I’ve participated in more group sex than most people I know so this is old hat as far as I’m concerned. We got into a lot of situational and conditional things that involved preferences and one’s thoughts about what’s sexually attractive and what isn’t and I allowed that, sure, one must consider these things before agreeing to join the party but a lot of it has to do with how one thinks about having sex and I said to him, when we talked about preferences, that if there’s a preference to really be taken into consideration, it’s the preference to have sex that stands out the most.

If you let what you like and don’t like into the mix, um, ah, ya might find that being able to jump in there and have a fun good time might be hard to do. Which is why planning these things and hashing out the details is, to me, a necessary and important thing to do because there’s nothing that will kill a sexy moment faster than someone doing something that someone else doesn’t like – and no one knew that they didn’t like whatever happened.

Just having a liking when it comes to playing with a dick isn’t enough; there are just too many other things that play into this and while a MMM tryst can jump off spontaneously, it usually works out better for one and all when you can get everyone to buy into it, allay any fears or concerns, and other things that will make having one guy plowing your south forty while another reams out your tonsils a very satisfying thing to do.


Posted by on 5 May 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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