I had to go back and edit “Group Sex Thoughts” because I missed some boo-boos and it got me thinking about why I started blogging in the first place. Linda and I belong to a couple of swinging websites and this one site had a forum that I found interesting enough to interact with many of the people there expressing their opinions about the lifestyle and it didn’t take me long to (a) become a popular contributor and (b) piss a lot of people off because I challenged everything they knew about sex. Then, one of the friends I met on this site, my girl Cinnamon, was sharing her blog with the site members and, damn, I thought that was so cool to be able to do this so I asked her about it and I wound up here on WordPress five years ago and I was off and running… um, typing.
Some of the really early stuff I was ranting, raving, and pontificating on was the hypocrisy of the swinging lifestyle and how there’s always this group of “elite” motherfuckers who feel that other swingers have to bow down to their often incorrect view of group sex and, well, even in the forums, I’d go off on them and while I made some friends by daring to slap those elite motherfuckers in the face, I also made a lot of enemies because I had the nerve not only to call them on the carpet for their very narrow mindset but to put their hypocrisy on blast for all to see.
These elitist bastards and the drones they have following behind them and French kissing their asses have managed to take the words “open-minded” and “like-minded” and put such a spin on them that they don’t mean what you think they mean and the short version of their hypocritical mindset is, “If you don’t wanna do it the way we say it should be done, you’re the punk-assed bitch and not us.” You wanna see discrimination in action? Go to a swinging site and, if they have open forums, just sit and read what’s being said.
One of the things that really irked me was that they’d harp on the rules of swinging… and then act as if the rules never applied to them; if you were of the “wrong” ethnicity and the “wrong” sexual orientation, my God, the way they behaved about this was deplorable. One of the other things I’d often rip them about is the “rule” about liars and the only things worst than a liar in the lifestyle were a single guy and any bisexual guy; yet, it was okay for some of these elitist assholes to blatantly lie about their sexuality or, really, tell another couple any lie they could think of so that sex would happen. It was okay for them to behave so badly but wrong for anyone else to do the same thing… and doubly wrong if you had the nerve to call them on it.
Like yours truly. Cinnamon would just shred them about their elitist behavior and wouldn’t back down from anyone – and I so admired her for that and, yeah, she was right, too. At some point, between me and Cinnamon tearing those elitist bastards a new asshole, she got banned from the site and I got warned and threatened with being banned… and for telling the truth and exposing a behavior in group sex we found just heinous, pompous, discriminating in every way imaginable and, of course, hypocritical.
A lot of swinging newbies would join the site and be treated so badly because, sure, one of the rules of swinging is that if you get rejected – and you will – don’t take it personally and I ‘d be like, “Say what? How could you not take it personally?” but, of course, if you rejected them or weren’t willing to give up what you wanted out of an encounter in favor of what they wanted – oh, yeah, and if you didn’t give it up to them without any additional conversation, well, you were just plain wrong and you’d be told to get off the site and get out of the lifestyle altogether. It was okay for them to discriminate or to treat people any way they wanted to… but if you did it to them, oh, lawdy, they’d get on the forums and put you on blast in a heartbeat.
The thing that would fuck with me was those elite motherfuckers who touted their sexuality discrimination, i.e., if you were a bi guy, the only thing lower than you were was a single guy. They’d spread their biphobic and homophobic mindset like a plague and the fucked up things about it were (a) they didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about and (b) some of those hypocrite were secretly bisexual themselves and, you just gotta know that I would tear into them with much glee and when they tried to come back and get all nasty about how they’re right and I’m not, what they never realized was that I was exposing their negative mindset for all to see. It just made me nuts to see people riffing about bi guys and how fucking horrible we are and how we shouldn’t be in their straight lifestyle – but they’d also categorically deny that they were discriminating against anyone; in their minds, their preferences for anything were more important than anyone else’s preferences. I could never figure out how someone who would never be bisexual could tell me, of all people, about being bisexual and more so since I was bisexual before a lot of them were born.
They’d use their prejudices like a weapon and just beat down anyone who wanted to be in the lifestyle for the diversity of the sex as well as the diversity of the people. If you weren’t physically fit and perfect, you were just shit on the bottom of their shoe – but they’d also swear that they weren’t looking for “Ken and Barbie” in the same sentence. There’s discrimination against sexuality, race, age, body type and condition – and the elitist assholes would stand by their right to be prejudiced against any who wasn’t like them… like they were all perfect… and some of them I wouldn’t fuck with my worst enemy’s dick.
These folks could take the joy of sex/group sex and just fuck it all up – and never in a good way. You kinda know that some people just behave badly when it comes to sex but if you wanted to get an idea of how badly they can behave, try getting into the lifestyle (or any aspect of it) and see what happens. You’d get to see just how shitty men can act when it comes to getting some other guy’s wife; they will lie like rugs, disrespect her man, and do the one thing I know women just can’t stand: Treat her like a mere piece of ass. There are other horror stories and, sadly, they’re all true like those guys who’d show up at a group sex gathering and assume that every woman there is his for the taking and without anyone’s permission and if you reject them, well, all holy hell would break out and, sometimes, violence would ensue.
Women, well, a lot of them were really victims more than willing participants, having been conscripted into the lifestyle pretty much against their will by their man who has a very bad case of pussy-on-the-brain. I’ve seen these guys use their women as bait and throw them into situations they’re ill-prepared to deal with – and then leave them to fend for themselves. I’ve seen women just take to the lifestyle like a fish to water, only to get their asses handed to them because they’re having more fun than their men are; likewise, I’ve seen women just wind up being traumatized just being there, let alone because some uncaring, lust-crazed motherfuckers – men and women – tried to get them to do something they just weren’t up to the task of doing.
Bisexual women are still highly prized and what I call the “Mandingo Syndrome” is in effect; it’s either that BBC (big black cock) nonsense or the lust for Black women can be so prevalent that some motherfuckers will actually insist that a Black man (and his big dick) stay away – but it’s okay if he leaves his Black woman for them to ravish as they please.
Now as I said yesterday, group sex – threesomes, foursomes, moresomes – can be one hell of a good experience… but you gotta be prepared to deal with a mindset that, I think, only serves to devalue people more than it encourages them to broaden their sexual horizons. I think about Ann’s experience and what she wrote about being left unprotected when she needed it… and it pissed me off that this happened to her… but it’s also what I’d call typical behavior by many in this situation. If you show up at one of these… parties and think that you’re walking into a free-for-all kind of thing, guess again; if you think that you’re gonna show up and everyone’s just gonna automatically respect your boundaries, I’d ask you to rethink this one. And, really, if you think that people can be damned funny about sex and how they approach it, you just have no idea how funny they can be until you get into a group sex situation with some motherfuckers. If you think that those in attendance is going to care about your feelings and/or they’re supposed to, um, I’m here to tell you that you’re gonna probably wind up terribly disillusioned because there are a bunch of elitist sons of bitches who have, somehow and for some reason I don’t pretend to understand, taken the thrill and joy of uninhibited group sex and have turned it into one’s worst fucking nightmares.
People have asked me about group sex stuff and I’ll tell them what I think is damned good about it… but I’ll also tell them what’s very bad about it and, no, I don’t sugar-coat it or try to be PC about it because when it comes to sex, some people just behave very badly because they feel they have the right to behave badly and to disrespect anyone who doesn’t conform to their way of doing things in this… and this is just sad to see… but if you don’t learn anything from a group sex experience, you will find out things about sex and how people can behave that you’ve never seen before and, honestly, I’m not surprised that there are so many people who’d never have this experience and many more who do want to experience it… then see human behavior at its worst when it comes to sex.
Can you get into one of these situations and have every fantasy you ever had come true? Yep, you betcha! Can you have your comfort zones expanded? Uh-huh, ya sure can! Can you learn some shit about yourself that you might not have been aware of before? Oh, hell, yeah you can! Can you have nearly unimaginable fun in a group sex situation? Does a bear shit in the woods? Can you have your perceptions about sex expanded or changed? Yeah… but, trust me, you’re gonna learn all the bad shit, too; you’ll encounter those elitist motherfuckers whose views on sex and group sex can turn this mind-blowing experience into an “us versus them” war that can be so fucking ugly.
Just saying. Not everyone who’s happily into group sex is a narrow-minded and prejudiced elitist; you can meet and have sex with some pretty amazing people… but as Ann learned, you can also meet some pretty fucked up individuals, too. They say it’s just sex and some of them make it a point to dehumanize having sex like the feelings of those they’d fuck don’t matter – it’s either their way or no way. They say none of it is personal… and I’ve consistently failed to understand how fucking someone isn’t personal; even when I’ve had them explain this to me, I admit that it just doesn’t make sense because sex, even casual sex, is personal… but the elitists will tell you in no uncertain terms that it isn’t, that they have no responsibility to give a shit about you as a person – you’re just a means to their end and nothing more.
And I’m the guy who’ll warn you to avoid these elitist assholes if at all possible; they give group sex a very bad name and reputation, if ya ask me (and you didn’t). Ann said to me, in her comment to yesterday’s blog, that she wished that I had written it before she had her experience and, damn, I feel as if I need to apologize to her and as if I somehow let her down but, Ann, in the future, if you have a question, you can ask me or you can even ask Larry (yeah, Larry, I just volunteered you, dude). I think these motherfuckers bother me so much because even in a group sex situation, I just give a fuck about people and, as the elitists have told me, I care too much and that I shouldn’t care about anything other than getting the sex I want and by any means necessary.
But because I do care, yeah, I will expose the hypocritical elites who believe that they own group sex and that they can make it in their image and speak out against the many prejudices and acts of discrimination they employ against anyone who isn’t like them.