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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Balls of Blue

The pain was incredible and appeared out of nowhere; one moment, my friend and I were talking about what kind of mischief we could get into on this fine, summer day… and the next, wow, jeez, this really hurts – why is it hurting down there?

My friend looks at me, alarm on his face and he can see the pained and confused look on my face and starts asking me what’s wrong; this… whatever it is, hurts so much I can’t talk – it’s taking every ounce of my will to keep breathing and not start trying. He asked me where it hurt and, unable to speak, grab my crotch – gently because, as I just found out, moving makes it hurt even more.

“Oh, okay,” he says before yanking down my shorts and underwear, getting on his knees, and sucking my dick into his mouth. The pain was getting worse but, wait, is it easing up some? I’m standing there with my friend blowing me as if my life depended on it… and it sure as hell felt like it. It started to feel good, slowly but surely replacing the indescribable pain in my groin; I could breathe again, still couldn’t form words outside of my mind and just as I felt my body relaxing, one last sharp spike of pain hit me, only to be quickly replaced by that really good but weird feeling of shooting my stuff.

The pain was gone. For a moment, I wondered if it had even been real as my friend stood up, licking his lips and smiling as if he’d just done something miraculous and I supposed that he did.

“You had blue balls,” he said, reaching down and cupping my balls. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah,” I said with a puzzled look on my face. I know what my balls are but given my complexion, uh, how can they turn blue?

“Good. You just needed to shoot some stuff,” he said wisely – and wisely for a guy who was only a month older than I was. “Hmm… my balls kinda hurt now…”

I was more than happy to make his balls stop hurting – and if they were really hurting – like he made mine stop hurting and he seemed to be just as grateful as I had been.

Blue balls. The one thing that can happen to a guy that feels as bad – or worse – than getting whacked in the nuts. Kinda in my defense, I’d heard older guys talking about blue balls and how they seemed to turn blue if they wanted to get some nookie but that didn’t happen. I remembered how all the guys who knew about this would grimace and, yeah, just like they all got kicked in the nads – then start laughing about it. My first experience with this… condition, when it hit me, totally disconnected things in my head – acute pain will do that fairly easily. Now, I can say that I didn’t feel like I needed to do the nasty before that incredible pain landed on me like a freight train but what my friend did – an early version of a bro job – was what the “doctor” ordered.

I investigated this blue balls thing; think of it as “backed up pipes” for simplicity’s sake and the reason they call it blue balls is because when this… backup of blood happens to white guys, wow, their balls really turn an interesting blue color.

Who knew? Later, I learned that one can relieve a case of blue balls – and one that usually happens when one gets sexually excited and, um, nothing happens – by jerking off to clean the pipes out (and if you’re wondering how that plumbing phrase made into the sexual lexicon) but since that was supposed to make you go blind and grow hair on the palms of your hand, well, okay – if you were hanging out with a male friend and a case of blue balls was upon you, for immediate and welcome relief – and if you can – ask the guy with you if he would help you.

Now, um, sometimes, if you did ask him for help and he wasn’t of a mind to assist you, he’d just look at you with sympathy and pretty much tell you that you’re on your own and good luck with that. But, yeah, sometimes the guy you’re with has had some experience with blue balls, knows how painful it is and it’s just an act of mercy to get you somewhere private and give you an “emergency blow job” to ease your pain… and more so if he knows that you’d do the same for him, you know, being good friends and all that.

Wasn’t a big deal, didn’t mean you were gay or anything like that but among friends, just an act of kindness and mercy… and provided ya didn’t tell anyone how you got rid of your case of blue balls. Now, if you were hanging out with him again and managed to have another painful attack of blue balls, maybe he helps, maybe he doesn’t and that all depends on how he felt about helping you that first time and, um, how you may have shown your gratitude for his timely aid when you, er, um, made sure that he wouldn’t come down with a badly aching pair of balls.

I don’t think I could really put a number to the times I’d come to a guy’s aid when his balls were blue but, sure, I wouldn’t let a guy suffer with this even if we weren’t really friends. I was at the YMCA one day, fresh out of the pool after doing a mile of laps (25 laps, if you’re wondering) when a guy who was either getting undressed for something – or getting redressed – suddenly doubled over, groaning in pain and holding his nuts as if some invisible person had just hauled off and punted his balls. I knew immediately what was wrong; homey was sweating profusely, his face flushed a really odd red-purple color and of course I asked him if he as okay even though I knew, from experience, what was wrong with him.

His eyes were wild-looking; sweat was pouring down his face like he was in the shower and his whole body was shaking from the painful intensity. There wasn’t anyone else in the locker room so I went over to him and took a peek in his underwear and, sure enough, his balls were a pretty shade of blue.

“I can fix that,” I said gently as I pulled his underwear down and slurped his cock into my mouth and as he vainly tried to ask me, I think, what the hell was I doing. After a few and well-placed and time deep sucks, he unloaded in my mouth and like his pipes had been clogged up for a month – boy, did he ever put a lot of sperm in my mouth and so much I almost couldn’t keep up with it!

I looked up at him as his dick was slowing some really intense pumping; his color was better, he wasn’t sweating as much and, as I released him, I took a peek at his nuts and they were back to being a healthy, pinkish color. I stood up and pulled his underwear back up – and just in time as some guys were coming into the locker room. The guy I had “rescued” was still kinda shaky, looking a bit dazed as he followed me back to where my locker was and whispered both his thanks as well as his… consternation over how he got relieved of a major case of blue balls because, hey, he wasn’t that kind of guy.

I just looked at him and in a way that asked him, “Would you have rather kept dealing with that pain?” I guess he interpreted my look precisely, looked a bit sheepish, and said, “Thanks, man – I owe you one!” before going back to his locker.

Just one of many examples of how some bro-jobs happen. You feel that ache beginning and I don’t know which is worse – having a bad case of blue balls or having a toothache and while you can’t always get some seriously and immediate pain relief from a toothache, to make a case of very painful blue balls go away, you need to bust a nut and the sooner, the better. If you’re alone, it’s time to choke the daylights out of the chicken; if you have a your lady nearby – and if she’s willing to help you – screw her or, if she’s of a mind to, get her to blow you if, you know, she even cares that you’re experiencing that kind of excruciating, mind-numbing pain.

If you’re with your bro and you think the two of you are really good friends, sure, you can whip it out in front of him (and provided you’re not in some public place, of course), apologize for giving him something he can’t un-see, and get yourself off… or you can brave asking him to get you off since there are times when this comes on so suddenly and painfully you can’t help yourself. If he’s that good of a friend, maybe he helps you out… or leaves you to suffer with it but, still, it’s one of those situations where a bro-job is called for and one that, if you were previously not of a mind to be sucking some dude’s dick, you’d sure as hell make an exception if he came to your aid and played with your dick so you could cum and get those pipes cleared out.

Sometimes, just saying, “Thanks, man – ya saved my ass!” ain’t good enough or doesn’t really express your profound gratitude. I’ve aided in blue ball relief and have told the other guy that his thanks is thanks enough and no reciprocation is needed or required… which hasn’t stopped some guys from wanting to express their gratitude in a similar way… and, a few times, it would be their first experience with sucking cock either way.

Because you’d do anything to make your nuts stop hurting. I’ve seen and heard of guys curling up in the fetal position and crying like babies; I’ve seen this pain hit guys so hard and fast, they sometimes vomit or they drop as if poleaxed, their legs just refusing to hold them up and now it’s decision time: Do you do the one thing you know will ease his horrific pain… or do you just stand there and watch him suffer and when you probably know what he’s feeling?

At the very least, you offer some relief and if he accepts it, fine but if he doesn’t, well, hmm, okay – at least I offered and maybe the next time you have this happen and we’re together, you might reconsider… provided you make it through the terrible pain this time.

Sometimes, a bro-job isn’t about just being horny and wanting to take care of that immediately if not sooner; sometimes, it is an act of kindness and mercy if you do, in fact, know what that feels like; it really does, at times, become a question of, “What would you do to help a friend in dire need of release?”

From the “guys can be hilarious” department, I’ve been hanging out with a guy and have heard him change the subject of whatever we were talking about by saying, “Damn… my nuts are starting to hurt!” In my mind, that’s code for, “You know, if you were to give me a blow job, I’d be okay with that.” Depending on the guy – and if his nuts are really hurting and with severity (and sometimes, his balls are just fine, as it turns out) – I’d at least think about offering a bro-job if I determine his case of blue balls is valid but if he’s just being clumsy about wanting me to suck his dick, sure, I’ll stand or sit there and watch him fake an extreme case of blue balls because if nothing else, it’ll be entertaining.

I even told a guy once, after a stellar performance, “I’ll send you an Oscar later… but if you wanted me to suck you off, why didn’t you just ask?”

“You might have said no,” he replied, looking all cheesy.

“I might have said yes,” I said.

“Um, would you?” he asked.

And I did… because his Oscar winning performance was really pretty good if I might say so myself and had to be rewarded. I also found out that he was pretty good at sucking dick, too, something I hadn’t known about him before his award-winning acting.

“Next time, just ask,” I said after we drained each other dry. He at least had the good sense to look embarrassed after trying to bullshit me and failing.

Even if you’re an avid cock sucker like I am, you don’t just jump in there and do something about the other guy’s painful predicament; you have to do some triage and assess the situation, take the guy having this insane pain into consideration and determine if easing his pain is worth him finding out something about you that, under ordinary circumstance, you’d rather not let a whole lot of people know.

But how far would you go to help a friend who’s clearly suffering from a major attack of blue balls? Will it fix itself? Eh, sometimes it does but even in my blue ball moments, fuck – that pain just keeps getting worse the longer you let it go unattended. To my “shame” and perhaps “dishonor,” I have sat or stood and watched guys suffer with this and it doesn’t feel good to do this when I know I can help him manually or orally… but I also know that helping him would create an even bigger problem than his poor nuts being all painfully swollen. We’re friends… just not that close as friends, sorry about that – hope you get that taken care of soon.

A bro-job can happen due to being seriously horny; under extreme emotional distress and duress, and even when one is under the influence of whatever hair of the dog that bit them… but sometimes, they can happen because the pain of blue balls is just too much to deal with and waiting any longer than you want to in order to make that pain go away just ain’t gonna work.

What would you do?

 
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Posted by on 16 March 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts and Top Searches: What… Again?

Scanning my Desktop, noting what’s been looked at since yesterday and then, damn, this:

“How to ask if someone wants a bro job.”

First thought:  What, again?

Second thought:  Did the person searching for this find the blogs I wrote about this when they searched?

Third thought:  Man, I wish there was a way to find out who’s searching for stuff so bloggers could respond to them if they wanted to…

Asking a guy if he wants to get bro-jobbed all depends on whether or not you have a clue that he’d be down for it and unless he said that he wouldn’t mind having some dude suck his dick and get him off, chances are you’re not gonna know.  Still, this is turning out to be one of my favorite “searches” other than intercrural sex – that’s fucking without penetration, to save any new readers from rushing to find out what the word means.

You can’t really go on what a guy might say so a guy in need of a bro-job could very well be dropping hints like hot potatoes and it’s not all that obvious that he’s dropping hints.  Even when you’ve known a, ah, potential bro-job candidate for a long period of time, that’s not a guarantee that if asked, he’s gonna just jump on the invitation and whip out his schlong.

As I’ve written before, I’ve heard guys going on and on about needing to have their dick sucked and their aching nuts emptied; are they just stating a matter of fact or are they dropping a hint?  Could be one or the other… could be both, too, and unless you ask him to be more specific, you’re not gonna know which thing he’s really doing… except, um, asking him, “Are you asking if I’d suck you off?” is a really touchy question to ask, wouldn’t you agree?  And, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve actually asked such “direct” questions in response to what I felt were hints, like, “Why are you telling me about it?” or even agreeing that, yup, having my dick sucked right about now would really work… then kinda sit back and watch how they react and wait for what they might say next – and if they say anything at all.

The real conundrum here isn’t figuring out if a guy would be down for it – that would be asking a guy you think might be in need of one and without, let’s say, something bad and/or embarrassing happening.  So how do you ask someone if they want a bro-job?  Very carefully.

You just don’t know how a guy will react.

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: I Tried to Resist, But…

…I couldn’t, not when I saw on my Dashboard, “how to know when a guy wants a brojob.”

Still, it’s a legit question and the only thing I can point back to was the many times I’ve seen guys doing everything they could to get the hint across that, um, you know, if we were to, uh, suck each other’s cock, er, ah, I wouldn’t mind and I sure won’t tell anyone that we did this.  Lemme see if I can (once again) dissect this.

Are there any external signs that a guy might want a bro job?  Other than sneaking peeks at his crotch to see if he’s hard or not, you’d have to be knowledgeable in the art of reading body language and being able to listen to how a guy is saying something and not necessarily what he’s saying although that can be a clue as well.  While these things are and can be rather telling, before one puts such a suggestion on the table, one must remember that what you see or hear isn’t always what’s really going on.

Some of trying to figure this out depends on the situation at hand – what are the two guys doing and/or talking about?  See, back in the day, it wasn’t unusual for guys to get together to just hang out and gossip – yes, women aren’t the only ones who do this.  Now it’s a matter of whether or not the conversation migrates to things sexual or not and, at least in my experiences, it wasn’t ever a question of if a conversation would make that turn but when it would.

For me, that’s when things got to be rather funny.  If you’re paying attention to the other guy, again, his body language and a certain change in the pattern of his speech can, at the least, tell you that he’s horny and wants to do something about it.  Some guys fidget – they can’t seem to sit still and I’ve heard some guys say, out of the blue and totally unrelated to the conversation of the moment, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”

What you don’t know is whether he’s actually hinting that the two of you should do this or he’s really thinking about how he can convince a woman to suck his dick.  Likewise, I’ve been in conversations where a guy will, again, out of the blue and totally disconnected from, say, talking about football, “What would you do if some dude asked if he could suck your dick?”

Some guys are just fucking hilarious when trying to drop hints and just as funny are the guys who sense where this conversation is going… but are on the fence about whether they should offer up their own thoughts on whatever funny question was asked.  For me, sheesh, such conversations and these hilarious twists would be… annoying; I’d be talking to a guy, the conversation gets “sexy,” and he’s dropping hints all over the place and as he does so, I’m thinking to myself, “Why don’t you just come out and tell me what you wanna do?  Jeez!”

So when a guy dropped the “I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked” thing, I’d just ask them, “What’s on your mind about it?” or sometimes I’d even say, “Yeah, that would work for me, too!” – and then watch them – again, their body language can be quite telling if you know what to look for.

To the question of, “What would you do if…?” I’d often take a moment to think about the guy I’m talking to and what I already know about him before answering in one of two ways:  If a guy wanted to suck my dick, sure, I’d let him do it or, if I’m pretty sure or have a good sense that this answer would, ah, offend him, I’d backpedal and answer with, “I don’t know what I’d do…”  And many times, I’ve learned that what I thought I knew about a guy wasn’t all there was to be learned about him, i.e., he’s usually pretty vocal and against guys doing it to other guys… but, secretly, he’s either done it before or is now looking to take the plunge.

Then, with either response, I’d watch his body language and if he appears to be disappointed or even “encouraged,” well, he could be suggesting that the two of us whip out our dicks and work toward making them very soft again.

Once, a guy was tap-dancing all around the place and it actually got on my nerves enough for me to say to him, “Why don’t you just ask me what you want to ask me and stop dancing around all over the place?”  Sometimes, one can be intuitive enough to sense a change in the mood and pick up on the fact that whatever machinations the other guy is going through really means that if you were to agree, it would be nice for us to suck on each other’s dick until we both cum.

And I won’t tell if you won’t.

You just know this is what he wants to ask and do should you be of a mind to agree – and now it’s just a matter of whether or not he’s gonna be brave enough to just put it out there.

Some guys disguise their, ah, desire for this with roughhousing; if a guy “suddenly” suggests that we should wrestle or otherwise initiates some light roughhousing, well, that could be a rather physical hint that he just might want some more, um, personal body to body contact.  The thing that always struck me as being hilarious was that most of the guys I hung out with knew I had a black belt in judo and they’d still want to wrestle and now for me it was a matter of being observant enough to be able to feel his erection as we tussled.  Or, like one guys did during one roughhouse session, um, he planted his face in my crotch and lightly gnawed on me; on the surface – and if you had been watching this, it looked like he was trying to distract me as I had applied a light arm lock, you know, to “shock” me into releasing the arm lock (not that I was really gonna hurt his arm).

I felt the… nibbles and just said to him, “If that’s what you want to do, ya might want to unzip me first – pretty sure my pants don’t taste all that good…”

His response?  “You’ll have to let go of my arm first…”

On the whole, there’s really no sure, definitive way to know if a guy wants to get into a bro job unless he either does or say something that leaves no doubt in your mind that this is what he really wants to do.  Again, sometimes what he says can be an indication and more so if he’s asking or talking about something that’s unrelated to whatever preceded this change in the conversation.  If a guy seems to be down in the mouth about something – girl problems, some shit going on with his job or even the frustration over not being able to get a job – and a few other things, it’s just kinda strange that when guys get stressed to a certain degree, sex just seems to be the right thing to relieve that stress and, sure, if some intoxicants are involved, well, there’s no telling what his lowered inhibitions are going to reveal.

Sure, if you sense that things are heading in this direction, you could just simply ask him, “Why are we talking about this?” or even “What is it that you really want to do?” while keeping in mind that he might be “offended” and start backpedaling.  Guys talk to each other about sex even if in rather general terms and a general sort of way; doesn’t mean he’s fishing for a bro job… and it could mean that he is and now it’s up to you to figure out what’s really on his mind and short of asking him directly, there’s still no dyed-in-the-wool to know or tell that he’s interested in a bro job unless, of course, he’s bold and daring enough to come right out and ask you – and some guys won’t because, as everyone knows (or should know), we don’t exactly handle rejection very well.

I’ve had guys ask me how they can ask another guy if they can blow them and without getting punched in the face and I’ve honestly told them that you just get up the nerve to ask them and be ready to deal with however the other guy reacts and even if he reacts badly to such an offer.

And, yes:  I’ve had guys ask me how they can ask another guy if they can suck his dick… and I’ve been the guy they wanted to ask and, yep, I’ve been taken by surprise by such a twist and usually because I just learned something about this guy that I didn’t know.

Guys can be direct and right to the point about wanting to do this… or they can drop hints, tap dance, and other rather funny things trying to get up the nerve and to the point where what they want to do, right here and now, is to get some cock sucking going.  I’ve sat and watched guys go through all of this and stop short of actually putting the suggestion on the table… then, the next time I’ve been hanging with them, they happen to mention that, um, you know, the other day?  I really wanted to suck your dick and was hoping you wouldn’t mind sucking mine…

And the only thing I could say in response was, “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

And that’s really the only way to really know if a guy wants a bro job – just ask him if that’s what he wants to do as well as deciding whether or not you, too, want to do this.

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It a Coincidence…

…that the scribble that’s been at the top of my “most read” list continues to be the one about asking for a bro job? Now, I’m not a stats fiend; I look at them because they’re there but even I don’t fail to notice which of my scribbles seems to be getting a lot of reads and whenever it’s being read… and even if I don’t know who’s reading it.

I saw this again today during my routine WordPress check and I kinda laughed to myself while wondering about who’s been reading this and why… and if the subject of guys going down on each other is kinda/sorta fascinating and more so if, as assumed, the guys blowing each other into orgasmic bliss are really straight.

It’s usually a hot topic of discussion in the bi guy forum and usually along the lines of how one can, ahem, provide a bro with some oral pleasure and not wind up losing said bro as a friend.

As I thought about scribbling this, I thought that, on the surface, the notion that guys give each other blow jobs isn’t really seen as being all that unusual – no big and dirty secret that men love cock sucking and as much as they like being sucked… but it goes back to the premise that if a bro job happens, it happens between two reportedly straight guys and the “interest” is due to how incongruent this appears to be.

If a guy is straight, why in the world would he want to get into a cock sucking contest with another straight guy? In some of the stuff I’ve read that others have written, wow, the authors are ascribing a great many things to this “odd” behavior, up to and including latent bi- or homosexuality and, I think, missing out on the real reason.

Um, sucking cock and being sucked feels good and, sure, it’s a bit of a thrill to take conventional thinking in this and turn it on its head and thumbing one’s nose at the ages-old taboo. Indeed, Cityman and I were talking about this last night and along the lines of how many guys have, even for the briefest of moments, wondered what it would be like to be engaged in some cock sucking with another guy.

Doesn’t mean the guy is gonna dash out and find out first-hand… but some guys do. We can get all into that “I’m not gay!” stuff which can be a concern for a lot of guys but what’s becoming a tad bit “obvious” is that you don’t have to be gay or even bi to suck a cock or to be sucked by another horny dude.

It’s important to point out that thinking and doing aren’t the same things and that even if a guy decides that doing some shit like this is something he’d never do, uh, he still thought about it, didn’t he? Some guys learn that one should never say never; they learn that, say, right this very moment, they couldn’t imagine themselves wanting to be a part of this and, as such, assume that it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen somewhere down the road. Some guys find that down the road never happens… and some guys get quite surprised to find themselves engaging in the one thing they said they’d never do.

And then discover that they like doing it… and now they’re wondering why they never did it before. Sexuality, such as it is, isn’t always a deciding or determining factor… but answering the question of what one is willing to endure to not be horny and dealing with aching balls is. Sure, it helps if a guy is already down with cock sucking but at the end of the day, that’s a gravy kind of thing.

While many men know what it’s like to be sucked, there’s still those two other questions that may or may not need answering: What’s it like to have a dude do it… and what’s it like to be the one doing it? The facts of the matter are that, sure, some guys get the answers to those particular questions as well as another question that just might pop into their head: If I did this, does it make me gay?

Imagine their surprise to discover that getting jiggly in a 69 with a bro didn’t do anything other than provide some much needed sexual release! Not only did it not kill them, it didn’t make them gay at all. Outside of maybe feeling a bit guilty which, by the way, is a normal reaction that’s not easy to get over, all that really happened was, uh, they got their dick sucked and maybe even found out what it’s like to suck a dick.

And life goes on. Now, about the “gay thing.”

Yes, this has been in the purview of gay men since like forever and, as such, we equate this as being a gay thing to do… but being gay is a state of mind and self identification that happens to go along with the act… but the act actually doesn’t define gayness in that sense; thus, you can’t “catch” being gay like you can catch a cold. So, sure, cock sucking is and always has been a “gay” thing to do…

But you don’t have to be gay to do it and, apparently, you don’t even have to be bisexual, either – you just gotta be bold and daring enough or, yeah, horny enough and at your wit’s end to experience this and if “I won’t tell if you won’t” is invoked and upheld, so much the better, huh?

And I’m thinking that what I wrote about this is still sitting at the top of heap could be that whoever’s reading it understands this even at a high level. Could the readers be guys? Could be… and the readers could also be women who are, at the least, curious about why two guys would want to suck each other’s cock in the first place.

I just find it interesting to see that this particular scribble is being read a lot. What does it mean? Damned if I know; I just know that bro jobs aren’t something new I Dee the sun – it’s just an aspect of male behavior that’s just now coming to the surface. One can assign any “motive” they care to where guys doing this is concerned; we – society – can question their sexuality until the cows come home.

What we shouldn’t overlook or discount is that regardless to sexuality, sucking cock and having your cock feels pretty damned good is a good reason for a bro job to jump off; sometimes, the simplest answer is the best answer. It’s not that two straight dudes are really gay or bi or even want to be… but, um, other than fucking, getting your dick sucked is a good and fun thing to do and, as many guys tend to learn, being the one sucking that dick can be just as much fun.

And, bro, I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?

 
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Posted by on 27 August 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Debate Continues

As the title indicates, the discussion about bro-jobs is heating up and it’s sliding in the direction of how they don’t happen.  Now, this discussion might seem out-of-place among bisexual and bi-curious guys because one could think that if homey is bi or curios, if a bro-job opportunity came along, at least one guy wouldn’t have any objections; indeed, some guys have said that if their bro asked for one, that works and more so for the guys who are still looking for someone they can have oral sex with for the first time.

I’ve allowed that it makes sense that if a bro-job is needed to cement a bond, as an act of compassion, or just to keep a friend from having a painful case of blue balls, let it happen and have fun… except it’s not that easy because as much as a dude might want to offer/accept a bro-job, his image becomes an all-important factor.  There are, no doubt, guys who wouldn’t object to a bro-job except there’s the whole “Is it gay?” thing to contend with and that alone is enough to stop a bro-job from ever happening and it’s the same thing that also happens to keep guys eager to take the plunge sitting on the side of the pool and comes in the form of a question (and is tacked onto the question of being gay):

“What if someone finds out that I did this?”

It’s not as if this isn’t a legitimate concern for some guys but for the most part, it’s a paranoid one that will make most guys overlook something, namely, there are only two ways someone is gonna find out that you and your bro sucked each other’s dick and that’s if you happen to get caught doing it or one of you tells someone else.  Otherwise, how would anyone know that this went down?  Now, some guys throw it down and are worried about it being found out and that can affect their behavior to the point where someone can look at them and tell that something ain’t quite right with them and could generate a question like, “Dude, are you okay?  Ya look like something’s bothering you!”  It’s not like a guy facing this question is gonna answer it honestly; it’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m good – I was just thinking about something but it’s no big deal…” and then hope that the inquirer doesn’t press the issue.

Add on to this the original question:  “Is it gay?”  Well, um, yeah, the act itself between men is related to homosexual sexual behavior but also true is that not all men who suck cock (or are sucked by men) are gay… but you can see the direction one’s thoughts can move in.  I have seen guys dance all around this question by saying things like, “Well, if we do it but we don’t cum in each other’s mouth, then it’s not gay!”  If you think this sounds cock-eyed, just remember I’ve told you that if you think women are funny about things sexual, guys can be even funnier.  But while the two guys contemplating a bro-job can convince themselves that it’s true (and it isn’t by current definitions), another thing that gets thought can make sure that the hypothetical bro-job never happens, namely (and loosely), will the other guy think I’m gay because I wanna do this?

And this is despite both guys saying right up front, “You know I’m not gay, right?” and the “typical” response is usually along the lines of, “Yeah, but…” right along with, “Neither am I!” and the “but” is kinda implied.  But a guy caught between having this need taken care of and considering the impact on his self-image, will usually lean toward protecting his self-image.  Again, the logic of the situation can make perfectly good sense… but the emotional things will almost always trump and defeat logic.  Some guys are just very much afraid that exchanging blow jobs with any guy is gonna make them instantly gay – and this doesn’t include all those guys out there who think such an act is an abomination to begin with and they’re not included in this scribble simply because we know they’re out there.

One of the things about this is not only what goes through a guy’s mind if/when this situation appears, but the amount of stuff they’re thinking about in a relatively short period of time.  Because these things tend to happen spontaneously, guys find themselves faced with a decision:  Yea or dude, you can’t be serious!  And in the space of time it takes them to accept or reject, they’ve thought about all the implications I’ve mentioned and many more that I haven’t even said anything about and I’m talking about fractions of seconds.  Now the thought process can be extended into minutes because few guys are gonna come right out and ask for a bro-job; like I said before, they’re gonna tap dance all around asking the important question by dropping a lot of hints and beginning with, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”  On the surface, it could be just wishful thinking… and it could be the opening statement that, hopefully, will get this thing to jump off.  During such discourse, both guys are weighing the pros and cons something fierce; the need is there but is the need greater than the implications?

I’ve been in those moments and have sat and watched guys think this through and it’s both fascinating to watch as much as it can be pretty funny as human nature wars with social programming; I’ve seen guy decide that while it would be nice, it’s not worth being worried about someone finding out or confusing him about his sexuality – and keep in mind that this is them thinking about asking me about this and not me asking them.  Depending on a guy’s emotional state at the time and as well as his current state of sobriety, there’s really no telling what he’s gonna say; even if he were to launch into a “hypothetical” situation, all that really means is that he’s still weighing the pros and cons and requires more input, like – and this is an actual thing I’ve heard – “What would you do if someone asked you to suck their dick?” or “If some dude wanted to blow you, would you let him do it?”  Depending who I’m talking to – and this is an important consideration – I may or may not answer either of the questions… but with certain guys, I’m not beyond fucking with them by saying something like, “I dunno… maybe – it depends.  What would you do?”

Sometimes the matter is dropped because my response – or lack of one – isn’t the one they were expecting and now the prospect is deemed to be too much of a hassle because the other consideration that goes through a guy’s mind is, simply, if we do this, what’s gonna happen to our friendship?  I’ve come across guys who found themselves in a bro-job moment with someone else, they said thanks but no thanks, and the friendship got shut down permanently because their sensibilities were greatly offended.  So while bro-jobs do happen – some guys just decide to go for it and worry about any fallout later – a lot of times, they just don’t happen and while there may be those who feel that if it needs to be done, just do it, this isn’t even as easy as it may appear to be – always keep in mind that guys are more worried about their image than they are anything else.  I’ve heard guys say that they were tempted to go for it… but they didn’t; some actually voiced some regret over not doing it but once the moment has passed, there’s usually no going back to it unless in the rare occasion situation that the other guy has, in the intervening time, decided that giving it a shot isn’t going to fuck things up.

Is this really a sexuality issue?  Depends on the guys involved at that moment but bro-jobs are reportedly between straight men whose sexuality isn’t in question and because this demographic segment is being highlighted, sure, questioning the sexuality of any straight guy willing to get into this seems to be appropriate because, as Oceanswater said in some of her comments yesterday, if a guy is willing to do this, he must be into guys – so why not just admit it and do what you gotta do?  This does, in fact, make sense… except a bro-job can happen and there’s no being into guys anywhere in the picture; it’s just guys being opportunistic if nothing else.  Things have to line up at the right time and in the right way as well as with the right person.  I don’t know how many times I’ve been totally surprised by guys putting a bro-job offer out there; you think you know your friends and know them well but something like this?  If homey is buzzed out of his mind at the time, okay, maybe I’m not all that surprised because I do know how booze can play into this… but still!  Who knew home boy could have a couple of drinks and this thing surfaces?  I’ve had guys come right out and say that if we were to do this, it would make them feel so much better (and about whatever’s bothering them)… and in that short space of time I’ve found myself thinking that I had no idea that he’d even consider asking such a question…

Then again, a bro-job is nothing if not a trust issue.  In hypothetical discussions, I’ve allowed that, no, I wouldn’t say you were gay if you “all of a sudden” wanted something like this to happen – and it’s the truth… but I know that you don’t have to be gay to do this.  The trust isn’t about whether or not a good blow job is gonna be given – the trust is all about whether or not this thing can go down and no one else finds out that it did and when they don’t happen, it’s because the trust isn’t there even when the guy you’re talking to about this is a long-time friend.  You’d trust him with your life if the two of you were on the road and he’s driving… but that’s not enough trust to allow a bro-job to happen, purposely or otherwise.  As mentioned and if nothing else, it’s one sure way to find out just how well you think you know someone and you usually discover that you don’t know them as well as you thought you did.

This is such an interesting topic.  Do bro-jobs happen?  Yes, they do.  Are they always between straight guys?  No, they are not.  Is this really a sexuality issue?  No, not always; as described, bro-jobs don’t seem to include the fact that a lot of bi guys, when looking for their first oral experience, often think about their close friends first – it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t but it’s also true that some guys will automatically exclude their close male friends because scratching that itch isn’t worth losing a good friend over.  That a good friendship could be irrevocably destroyed is usually a damned good reason for a bro-job not to ever happen…

Have a safe and tasty Memorial Day!

 
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Posted by on 27 May 2018 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What Are Friends For?

This is kinda about the bro job and not so much.  One of the things that reaches my attention are those guys who are itching to get into the game… and they can’t seem to find someone to play with.  A lot of guys’ first experience with this is with a friend and under the “boys will be boys” rule.  Guys who are looking for that first experience do often wonder which of their male friends would be amiable to doing some, ah, grown up experimenting with them while some won’t even consider a friend and probably because it’s too close to home and is deemed too risky – asking a friend for some dick can be a good way to lose that friend.

Then there’s the “rule” that friends don’t have sex with each other and, conversely, the saying that it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t and for guys looking for someone they can play with, this presents a rather frustrating problem… but enter the bro job, that thing that appears to be new but really isn’t but asks the question, “What would you do to help a friend?”  It goes without saying that the answer to this question depends on the level of friendship in play but it’s not really unheard of that under the right conditions, two male friends will help each other out in this way because, after all, what are friends for?

That and I won’t tell if you won’t…

I don’t know how many times I’ve been around guys I considered to be a friend and I’ve heard them say that getting their dick sucked would be a really good thing or expressing that need to fuck someone… but that’s not gonna happen, either at all or not when they need it to be done.  Sometimes, it’s just a guy saying what’s on his mind… and sometimes it isn’t; if you hear this enough, you can almost tell when the other guy is just expressing a desire to bust a nut or he’s kinda/sorta hinting that he might not be opposed to busting that nut with you and, yeah, some guys are just hilarious when it comes to that; I mean, it’s pretty damned obvious they want to ask you if you’d blow them or if they can blow you – and because you are friends and not merely an acquaintance but since they’re not sure how you’d respond to a direct question, oh, yeah, they can make themselves look pretty silly trying to find out without being direct.

When that friend starts asking me what I’d do if a guy asked me to suck his dick, it’s a safe bet he’s not asking me because someone asked him for that favor.  It’s one thing when that friend says, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!” and something very different if he keeps saying it (or variations of it) and it’s all I can do not to start laughing and asking, “What are you trying to tell/ask me?”  I have had guys be a bit more direct by asking a hypothetical question, i.e., “If I wanted to suck your dick, what would you say?”  A bit more direct but since this is a “hypothetical” question, not the same as just saying, “I wanna blow you – you okay with that?”

Of course, answering that question depends on whether we’re that tight as friends but the point is that despite the admonishment that friends don’t have sex with friends, it often is better the devil you know than the one you don’t; more than anything else, it’s a trust issue and the question becomes one of who, if anyone, are you most likely to trust with (1) keeping this a secret and (2) doing what you’ve asked them to do?  Even if the answer winds up being, “Nah, man, I ain’t into that!” then it’s a matter of not letting it be known that the proposition was made in the first place.

Whether it’s via poorly constructed hints, a guy won’t “ask” for this without them having a good reason for asking.  Maybe he’s not getting laid as much as he needs to or maybe he’s in some kind of emotional distress over something that can also include being horribly horny and even spanking his monkey isn’t helping at all.  As his friend, you kinda have a choice:  You can either help him out or, in order to protect your own sensibilities, leave him hanging and suffering with whatever has put him in the position to be going through all of the funny stuff to ask you if you’d be willing to get him off in some way – usually manually or orally.  The recipient of this, um, inquiry, can find himself in a quandary and even questioning the extent of the friendship; are you really the kind of friend who’d do almost anything to help a friend that isn’t offing someone or doing something obviously illegal… or is risking their own reputation and sensibilities worth saying yes to the proposition?

It’s a tough decision but with the bro job gaining much visibility, there are some guys who see helping each other out in the way a sensible thing to do – he’s the devil you know.  Nope, it’s not seen as being gay or even bisexual (yeah, right, sure it isn’t) but it’s simply a couple of good bros doing something that neither feel is that big of a deal – if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours and, once more, I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?  I’ve seen some guys push this issue a little and along the lines of this particular line:  “If you really loved me, you’d do it!”  Now, this ain’t got shit to do with being in love so the question really is, “If you were really the friend you say you are, you’d help me out!”  There’s a valid point here, isn’t there, but now the response becomes based on whether or not you are, in fact, the good friend you’ve said you are… and some guys decide that, nope, our friendship ain’t that good – sorry, dude.

Would you help a friend who has this need… or would it suck to be them?

 
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Posted by on 7 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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