Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 25 July 23 @ 1523 hours

I remain amused to see that my scribble about asking for a bro-job keeps showing up in my Top Posts listing… but today, I’m thinking about why guys looking to get into this think there’s some “trick” to asking when, as I said in the original post, you’re either going to be bold, daring, and direct and just ask the guy or break out your dancing shoes and dance all around the subject.

Okay. Back in the day, “Hey, do you wanna do it?” pretty much cover the whole sex with a guy thing – sucking and fucking unless a preference was stated and that question was answered with this question: “What do you want to do?” which, um, could get into a lot of back and forth using this question and until we got to that “make up your mind” moment. But this worked with guys I knew I could have sex with and as opposed to the guys who’d ask the other question: “Hey, have you ever done it with a boy before?” and “it” kinda depended on what the guy asking the question had in mind – and if he had something specific in mind to begin with.

Between the ages of nine and twelve, I sucked a lot of dicks, and it was easy to (1) find a guy who wanted his dick sucked and (2) to get me to suck it. I didn’t give my first bro-job until I was fourteen – and being between the ages of thirteen and, oh, twenty-six (as I recall but don’t hold me to that), I was either being asked to give one or I’d volunteer to give one but it was now not all that easy to do this particular thing but I was still sucking a lot of dicks owned by guys who were known to be into it or very much wanted to be.

One of the things I noticed at the height of this was guys were less concerned about sucking dick versus being scared silly of dicks winding up in backsides and to the extent that some guys I knew deemed exchanging blowjobs to not be really all that gay or, as I heard one guy say to another, “Dude – it’s just a blowjob – damn!” Clearly, there were a lot of guys looking to get sucked off and not counting the gay guys who may have been around, the problem those guys had was obviously finding a guy who they could convince to suck their dick – but not really knowing who they could broach the topic with.

One such guy rolled up on me one day and said, “I hear you give good head.”

I blinked and all sorts of possible responses to this flashed through my mind and, on a “hunch” I responded with, “Well, I haven’t had any ladies complain about it to my face!”

He looked at me like I was stupid and even said, “You know what I’m talking about – don’t play dumb!”

Yeah okay – busted on that one and now I said, “I’ve been told that I do – so what?”

And I’m getting that look again. He says, “Oh, so you’re gonna make me beg for it?”

“No, but I am going to make you ask for it,” I said – and while thinking about whether or not I (a) feel like sucking dick and (b) I wanna be bothered with sucking him.

“So, um, what’s it gonna take to get you to suck my dick?” he asked.

“Sucking mine,” I said.

“I don’t do that!” he exclaimed.

“Then I don’t, either,” I said with a shrug. He wasn’t happy with me and I didn’t much care that he was but the end result was… if he got his dick sucked, I didn’t do it.

The guys who would ask if I could, “Help a brotha out” were some of my favorites because they displayed differing levels of… desperation that I was interested in studying and in my ongoing quest to learn all I could about being bisexual. To be honest, I really didn’t like seeing a guy suffering when there was something I could do about it, but I’d learned some hard lessons about being that nice to guys and especially the ones who had no appreciation and would leave me horny, hard, and unfulfilled. I didn’t like having to be like that but there are just guys who, if they needed me to blow them to save their lives, well, I hope they’re given a nice funeral.

Still, if you want your boy to blow you, ask him. You wanna blow him? Ask him. Sometimes, a guy will say no to the offer but, hmm, at some other time? I learned that if you have to give a lady a chance to change her mind, you also have to give a guy that same chance. I’ve offered bro-jobs, the guy said thank, but no thanks but, say, the next day, they’re asking me if the offer is still on the table.

And, here in my older age, I’m of a mind that if you’re gonna ask for a bro-job, you should be willing to give one because there’s no such thing as a free lunch and like I’ve asked a lot of guys, “What makes you think that I wouldn’t want my dick sucked, too?” Granted, I went through that period where I’d suck a guy’s dick and didn’t care if he returned the favor or not – and even if it was him jerking me off; I was happy to be able to get lost in the sensations and being in the zone and, of course, that amazing sense of accomplishment to feel his cum spurting into my mouth and he’s calling on everyone to help him and, sorry, my man – no one is going to save you from me.

The period came and went and while there is really nothing fair about this, fuck – why should I make a guy happy, and I’m not being made just as happy? In the thirty-to-forty years, I was firmly of a mind that, bro-job or otherwise, if you don’t suck dick, don’t ask me to suck yours so I’m thinking that if you want a bro-job, we’re gonna have to be seriously good and cool bros.

But, of course, this is me. For other guys? The only way to ask for one – or to ask if you can give one – is… to ask. Now it all comes down to how bad do you want it/want to do it and how bold, daring, and adventurous you are.

And fearless. It’s a scary thing to want and ask for because, again, unless you really know the guy, you won’t know how he might respond to it and more so when there are plenty of horror stories where a bro-job request went seriously wrong.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 17 May 23, 1400 hours

I’m kinda staring at my Dashboard and notice that an old post about asking for a bro-job as returned to the Top Post thingy and the question of how do you ask a guy if he wants to suck dick with you popped into my head…

And the answer is, “Very carefully.”

Experience taught me that some bro-jobs… just kinda happen on their own and, sometimes, neither guy is… predisposed to cocksucking. As I’ve written many times, I’ve just been hanging with a guy, we’re both bored out of our minds and… dicks get sucked. Now, for me, it’s not a big deal but I’d get surprised to hear a straight guy even hinting that, um, you know, if we were to do this, it’d be a good thing… wouldn’t it?

Or all of those times when I’ve sat and watched guys… make themselves look pretty silly throwing all kinds of silly hints that are all about them not minding if I were to suck their dick and some even “sweeting the pot” by hinting that, um, they might be willing to give it a try. I’m now thinking about asking for a bro-job and trying to remember… if I’ve actually ever asked a guy if he’d be interested in blowing me.

Honestly, I’m not sure I remember if I had but, then again, I “usually” didn’t have to ask because I’d get asked to give one or if I’d mind if he sucked me off and, hell, no, I wouldn’t mind at all… as long as I got to suck his dick, too. I got to thinking that Younger Me, sheesh, all you had to do was show me your dick and I’d start drooling and I wanna suck it and, I guess, the good and “bad” thing was that a lot of guys knew that… but even then, I seem to recall that it was rare that I’d ask a guy if I could suck his dick. I realized that, um, there were a lot of times (and I’m being nice by saying it like that) where I wanted to suck a guy’s dick, but I’d learned some hard lessons from other guys who asked “the wrong guy” and what happened next wasn’t nice and could be quite bloody.

Besides, why ask when a guy would ask me? Teenaged Me would start hearing the “beating around the bush” stuff that would continue on into the young adult years, like, “Yo, um, what would you do if a dude asked if he could suck your dick?” and since I’d learned that there are some guys that you’d better not say anything about being a cocksucker, my answer could be anything from, “I’d let him!” to “I’d tell him no!” and learning that… there was more to the question; it was a prelude to and for a guy to ask me if he could suck my dick and, um, if I’d be okay sucking his.

Well, since you asked nicely…

What I didn’t immediately figure out was why beat around the bush; why not just ask me directly and… like Younger Me was very used to? Oh, that’s right: That’s some gay-assed shit! Having to learn the difference between a guy asking such a question in a general sort of way and him wanting to coat my tonsils with his cum and that wasn’t easy to discern and, yeah, suffering some embarrassment and humiliation to tell a guy that, sure, I’d blow him and, shit, it was a general kind of question! So, I learned to just sit and wait to see where this conversation was going and one of benefits I gained from this – other than sucking dick/being sucked – was learning how to make “snap decisions” on the fly and without requiring a “whole lot” of information and more so when these offers were of the one-time variety. It got me to pay a lot of attention to a guy’s personality and mindset so that I wouldn’t make a mistake… and I’d made “too many” of them by sucking off “the wrong guy.”

Once I got the gist of how homeboy was tap-dancing all around directly asking me, I’d be thinking about (a) all of the things I’ve been hearing and seeing about him and (b) whether I’m going to say yes or no and, sometimes, (c) do I even feel like it, right now or later or whatever. Sometimes, I’d play dumb and act like I have no idea what he’s hinting at because he’s either (a) going to give up throwing hints at me or (b) come right out and ask if I’d want to get into some cocksucking with him – and, sometimes, (a) and (b) would be like… cause and effect. I learned that… hints tend to go right over my head, making me feel a little silly once it was pointed out to me that, yeah, there was a pretty strong hint… and I didn’t get it.

That’s okay because when I get your dick in my mouth, I’ll make up for that… but, yeah, you could have just come right out and ask me. Yeah, I know why they don’t, and, in many cases, they had no idea that I’d be down with it although I have had a “few” guys come right out and ask to be sucked or can they suck. As I’ve mentioned about this before, different reasons for this from being bored and horny to being quite desperate for some kind of sexual release and… if no one minds, it’s not gonna matter.

Other things to be considered and beginning with… being predisposed to having sex like this which, obviously, is a major plus; having said that, I learned that you just never know what might be going through a guy’s mind. He could be curious or, as I found with some guys, they were already bi but not of a mind to let their secret be known. I’ve been in this moment with some guys who start out saying that they’d never do that but then, they change their mind and… here comes the comedy show of beating bushes.

“Man… I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now…” is usually a clue and more so if he doesn’t mention a woman. I agree: I wouldn’t mind that either but where I come from, the sucking is mutual, you know, if you ain’t scared. I recall one guy who kept going in this particular direction and annoyingly so, making me ask him, “Is there something you wanna ask me and, if so, damn it, ask!”

Not that I didn’t know where he was headed but by this time in my life, I was firmly of a mind that if you want it, ask for it.

I’ve selectively offered them and it’s risky to do so which goes right back to the answer back in the beginning: How you ask a guy for a blowjob is… very carefully. Many moment when I knew that it should go down and… it didn’t but seeing the guy the next day and he mentions that if I had asked him to blow me, he would have and, well, shit. Not a given that the offer still stands, though. Or the one guy sitting on my sofa and squirming and readjusting himself because he had a good-sized boner, it’s just the two of us and he excused himself to use the bathroom… so he could jerk off and I know that because I heard him, which tells you that he was beating the shit out of his meat.

I wasn’t beyond fucking with him. Not only did I tell him that I heard him from where I was sitting, uh, um, I would have sucked his dick if he had asked.

“Oh, now you tell me,” he groaned and I… just shrugged because I don’t have a problem giving a guy a blow job… but again, if you want it, ask for it.

Because if I want to suck your dick or, yeah, ladies, eat that pussy, I’m gonna ask. After quite a few years of watching guys making me laugh at their antics, I resolved that the best way to get this done is to be direct and whatever happens, happens. And despite what some folks say about the sexuality of the guys in question, it’s not really a sexuality thing… but it is a sex thing and…

I won’t tell if you won’t.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 06 November 22

Upon seeing my Dashboard, I noticed that the piece I wrote about bro-jobs is still getting reads and that’s a good thing. Seeing that it had been read again woke up the time machine and I got taken back to the first time I gave a friend a blowjob and the conditions under which it happened.

Someone had stolen his bike and right off of the porch of the house he lived in. I had seen him frantically running up and down the street and stopping some of the other kids and saying something to them; they’d shake their head, and he was back to his frantic running. He’d gotten to me and that’s when I found out why he was so frantic and clearly upset. The poor guy was in tears, and I couldn’t blame him because the bike was nice.

I felt bad for him and equally bad because I couldn’t think of anything that might have consoled him; I just sat next to him with an arm around his shoulder, not really a hug but that gesture we can make to let someone know that, if nothing else, we’re there with them. I guess we were sitting like that for a couple of minutes when I heard my voice ask, “Do you want me to suck your dick?”

The “funny” part is that I wasn’t even thinking about it and definitely not where he was concerned because he was one of the few guys who weren’t having this kind of fun. He looked at me with a shocked look on his face and I was sure that I had a shocked look on mine as well and I’m asking myself what made me ask him that and, again, because I knew about him. An even more shocked paid me a visit: He asked, “Do you think it’ll make me feel better?”

I didn’t know if it would or not – I was still trying to figure out why I even asked him that, but I did manage to say, “It might.” He said, “Okay…” and now I’m “frantically” thinking about which of the hideouts we could go to so I could suck his dick and, hopefully, make him feel better about the loss of his bike but he saved me some extra thinking when he said, “Come on – I know where we can go…” and actually took me by the hand before we walked away from where we’d been sitting. We get to a secluded spot that I’d never been to before – but I’d seen the place and never thought about it in terms of a place we could go to have sex and, once there, sheesh, I know that I’ve committed myself to sucking his dick but as he pulled his pants and underwear down to expose his dick, I was still wondering what the heck made me ask.

Oh, well. I knelt before him and took him into my mouth (he tasted like Ivory soap – yuck) and he got instantly hard and said that it tickled but it felt good and, seconds later, he’s fucking into my mouth and, man, his dick felt good in my mouth and his moans were music to my ears. I’m totally lost in the moment and to the extent that “the next thing I knew,” his cock was spurting jizz into my mouth so fast that I had to play catch-up in order to be able to swallow all of it. His release must’ve hit him pretty hard because the moment he stopped shooting, his knees gave way and he sat down hard on the floor, which got him laughing at himself and I was sure I was smiling while trying to taste the last of his stuff, which was more sweet than salty.

“You were right – I do feel better,” he said. “How did you know that it would?”

“I dunno,” I said. “I guess it just popped into my head but I don’t know why because I know that you said that you’d never do anything like that.”

He was nodding even as he said, “I don’t know why I said okay but I’m glad I did. Can we do it again and this time, I can suck your dick?”

We spent quite a bit of time in this new hideout sucking each other off. He’s all… bubbly about it and, I guessed, feeling regretful over having refused to join in our sexy fun but he let me know that this wouldn’t be the last time he’d suck a guy’s dick because it was fun and made him feel really good. He smartly admitted that what we’d done wasn’t going to bring his bike back but at least he wasn’t as upset about it as he was before.

I kinda knew that I had done a good thing as far as making him feel better, but I still hadn’t figured out why I had asked him in the first place. Not knowing this would plague me for quite a few years into the future but, well, it did make him feel better. The even “funnier” part was that we came around the corner after leaving the new place and saw the cops in front of his house with both his bike and the kid who had stolen it! We got there in time to hear his father saying something about pressing charges and upon seeing us, the cops asked him to confirm that this was his bike, which he did. His dad was giving him a lecture in putting up his bike properly as the cops were putting the thief in their car.

My friend took his bike inside and came right back out and when he came over to me he said, “What we did made me feel better and I got my bike back, too! Can we do it again?”

And by “again,” he meant right now, as it turned out. I still hadn’t figured out (1) why I asked and (2) why he said yes but that wasn’t that big of a mystery because there were a few guys who, at first, refused to do what we were doing but later changed their minds and joined in on the fun. I would, one day, be thinking about this moment – and after I’d given another very upset friend a blowjob and I would realize that I had asked this friend that day if I could suck his dick because it was the only thing, I could think of to console him. The “bad” part was that it took me quite a few years before I figured this out and well after having given quite a few blowjobs to friends who, well, needed to be sucked and even if it was their first time experiencing this.

The more grown-up version of myself would come to understand something called emotional lability or, um, being so distraught that whatever inhibitions someone might have could be sitting in the corner and leaving someone open to the offer of sex. Indeed, in all the blowjobs I’d given friends in the past – and before I got to understanding some stuff about this – I could remember that they, too, were upset for some reason or another but the mystery that remained was… why did I know to ask them if I could suck them and how did I know that it would make them feel better and especially when I didn’t know that they were into this? Being upset, I would learn, was sometimes responsible for them asking me to suck them or, for them, when I’d ask if there was anything I could do, well, would I be willing to suck their dick or, on a couple of occasions, they wanted to suck me.

We look at the bro-job in terms of helping a guy out, usually when he’s horny as fuck and not getting any from the ladies or, as I would discover, the need to cum has to be taken care of right now because it just wasn’t going to wait for later and this made sense but when a guy was upset, offering to suck him off always seemed to be a way to console him. What made this… different was that I’d find myself with guys who were really upset about something, but it never popped into my head to offer them a blowjob and no matter what I knew about them. Offering one just wasn’t a solution… I think. I would reason that it was an emotional response on my part to their emotional state, but it also seemed to be quite selective.

This was different from those moments I’d be hanging out with a guy and he’s making himself look like an idiot because he wants us to have sex, but he can’t figure out how to just come out and ask me and, yeah, he’s trying to drop hints and of the kind that the most clueless person in the world could easily pick up on. This was more like… compassion. Empathy. In the times I’d offered to suck a guy’s dick, I didn’t really have to think about it; it was like having the answer to a question just appear in your mind and you’re giving it… while being surprised at the same time. You’d think that given how many times I experienced one of these moments, I wouldn’t be surprised that my solution to his problem was to suck him off but it would surprise me just the same because knew I wasn’t thinking about it, you know, like I “secretly” wanted to blow the guy and went through the mental gymnastics trying to figure out how to ask him without, um, getting cussed out or punched in the face.

Of course, not every guy I made the offer to took me up on it but there were more guys who did than there were guys who didn’t but for my very inquisitive mind, that wasn’t the point all that much. There remained two things that I didn’t quite understand: Why this just appeared in my mind and came out of my mouth unbidden and what made them say yes? There was something very important here that I couldn’t put my finger on; it was like having something right on the tip of my tongue but not being able to get the words out and while it was… emotionally satisfying to be able to do this for a friend, it was also rather frustrating because I didn’t understand the… mechanism of it all.

It was like there was something in my head that would “go down the list of things that might make him feel better” and depending on what was bothering him so much and… the thing that might make him feel better is for me to suck him off. I would sit and think if I was… projecting. There was no question about how much I loved sucking dick so what was the possibility that this was what was making me offer blowjobs? Shit, anything was possible, and I would one day just chalk it up to a subconscious kind of thing and even more so when, one day, I gave a distraught friend a blowjob… and I didn’t even feel like doing it and wouldn’t have even if he had asked. That didn’t have anything to do with him, but I would sometimes find myself sucking a friend off and thinking about how I really didn’t want to do this… but I’m doing it, he’s enjoying it and my brain would be like, “Well, he’s not all down in the dumps anymore…” and that, it seemed, was the important thing.

A “knee-jerk” reaction on my part? Something going on in my subconscious? Cleary, an emotional response on my part to his emotional state – compassion, empathy, or having that helpless feeling knowing that there’s not a whole lot I can say or do to make him get out of whatever funky mood he was in but, aha! There was something I could do! And, again, more guys accepted the offer than they turned it down – but, sometimes, the guy would catch up with me later and ask if the offer was still good and… yeah, sure, why not? Asking them why they accepted my offer would get me answers from “I have no idea” to “It sounded good at the time” but I would learn that they’d be surprised that they accepted the offer and, again, especially if they’d never done anything with a guy and sure as hell never gave it any thought.

Stress and emotional distress seems to do some… interesting shit. Emotional lability is something I kinda/sorta understand but one of the many things that I can’t really explain. It really came home to roost when we had a lesson about emotions in my college psychology class; our professor was talking about how “altered emotional states” – like being under stress of some kind – can do some pretty “weird” stuff and could, sometimes, get someone to do something that they normally wouldn’t do. Even he had said – at the time – that emotional lability wasn’t that well understood but for me – and after giving so many blowjobs to emotionally upset friends – well, that made sense even if it didn’t really explain why I would offer one and doing so wasn’t even a hint of a thought in my mind.

It was like there was a part of me that always knew that sucking a guy’s dick was the thing that would, if nothing else, take his mind off of whatever was bothering him, and it also knew that making the offer to this guy? Yeah, not gonna happen and the fucked-up part was me not being aware of this going on in my head until I heard the words coming out of my mouth. It’s seriously spooky and I would eventually stop making myself crazy trying to figure out what the fuck was going on in my head when it seemed like the best thing I could do for my very upset friends would be to suck them off.

It really didn’t help matters when I’d blow a guy and, later, he’s asking me why he agreed to me sucking him off… and like I knew why… and I didn’t. One guy asked me why this sounded like the perfect idea to him even though he’d never wanted to do something like this and… I didn’t know but I did know that it very much sounded like a perfect idea, or for me, it felt like one. Or something. I would learn that a guy would want to be sucked off but being painfully horny wasn’t always the reason why and… I just knew that it was the thing that had to be done to him and for those who accepted the offer, they somehow knew it, too.

Now, while some guys didn’t return the favor – and I didn’t even think about asking them to – some guys did and many of them were very surprised to find themselves sucking my dick and, as one guy said, “Having the nerve to be enjoying the fuck out of it.” Did I know why? I well and truly did not know and, as mentioned earlier, I eventually gave up trying to make sense of this. It’s been relegated to one of those things that I know can happen. Been there, done that, seen it happen with other guys and, yeah, hearing the offer being made and accepted was as surprising as watching two guys who had never done anything with a guy before and now they’re blowing each other’s brains out and then not really understanding why they did.

It… seemed like a good idea at the time. Why? Damned if I know and that even with what I learned about emotional lability. I even learned that I could give a bro-job to a woman and sometimes having to explain that the reason why I offered to eat her was just because I felt that it would make her feel better about whatever was bothering her. I didn’t give a lot of bro-jobs to my female friends but for those who accepted, they, too, said that it sounded like a good idea and they did feel better and even if only for that moment. Which, I guess, is “the whole point.” At the least, it’s a distraction, something that takes their mind off of whatever’s bugging them. One woman asked how I knew that eating her would make her feel better and I felt pretty stupid because all I could tell her was, “I just knew it would.” No ulterior motives other than feeling great compassion or empathy for someone.

Some weird shit, huh? I’m still of a mind that there are those who think that guys give each other bro-jobs just because they’re horny as fuck but I learned that there are other reasons that don’t have a thing to do with being horny. It’s… not like being down in the dump and “actively” thinking that you need to get laid – that, I think, is a bit different because it’s an active, conscious, thought. No, most bro-jobs, I think, happen in the “spur of the moment” more than a deliberate kind of thing. It’s not the same as you knowing a guy and you’d give anything to be able to suck him off (or have him fuck you); this is… intent. Call it “premeditated.”

I… can’t really explain it. I’ve done it, though, and more than a few times because… it just made sense and I don’t know why it does.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Revisiting the Bro-Job

I was sitting here listening to the Weather Channel people going on and on about Hurricane Henri and looked at my Dashboard to see that something I wrote quite a while ago about bro-jobs is still making the rounds and just might be the most-read scribble I’ve written; I wonder if there’s a way I can check that?

I saw it and my first thought was, “Hmm, it’s back.” My second thought was, “They can be nice, good for mind and body.” As I thought these two things, the archivist in my head once again flashed through the many times I’ve given a bro-job and the times I’ve gotten one because, well, I guess the guy who gave it felt like I needed one or, as it “usually” turns out, it sounded like a good idea. The archivist then pulled up every time Cityman and I have talked about this, from the silly notion that it’s only a thing straight guys get into to rhetorically asking what’s so wrong about giving one and just because. His favorite scenario is hanging with a guy, watching a game or a movie, having some cocktails and snacks and one guy looks at the other and asks, “Hey, how about I suck your dick?”

It’s not really that “absurd” a situation. I’d suppose that some might think that a bro-job only happens in case of emergency but I’ve seen them happen without any emotional stress or the pain of someone’s nuts hurting. I’ve seen stuff written about this about guys doing this to help each other out but that’s not the only reason why one might be offered and accepted and my favorite is there not being anything better to do. Stuff I’ve seen suggests that a guy who accepts or offers one could be expressing some latent bisexuality or even homosexuality and I don’t necessarily disagree with this but some straight guys I knew of who talked about that time they sucked a friend’s dick have said that it sounded like a good idea at the time and some expressed confusion over why the idea even popped into their head.

Perhaps they were curious and some guys I knew of admitted that some hair of the dog was involved but stated that just because it happened didn’t mean they were gay or anything like that but quite often the real reason for offering and/or getting one was because there just wasn’t anything better to do at the time. I know that back in the day, being bored was a good reason to get the dicks out and do some sucking. So was having a painful case of blue balls. Ditto for being emotionally stressed. Um, any reason to do it worked, to be truthful about it. Getting older exposed me to a lot of guys who’d bemoan men giving each other blow jobs and while I didn’t find that to be out of character for the time, what I found curious were the number of guys who’d tell you in a heartbeat that they’d never do it… and then rattle off a list of improbably conditions that would have to be in play before they’d let some faggot suck their dick and, even “funnier,” how some would say that they’d be so offended to be asked that they’d teach that gay motherfucker a lesson by shoving their dick down their throat… and like the guy offering one would really object to that “punishment.”

When you’ve heard how silly some guys can be trying to drop hints that they wouldn’t mind a bro-job because, you know, it would really help them out right about now, a lot of the stuff I’d read early on about the Great Bro-job Controversy was just some “faction” putting straight guys on blast and questioning their sexuality and engaging in what I thought was a lot of unnecessary psychobabble and ignoring the more simplest reason: Guys like having their dick sucked and it’s not like they don’t know that guys suck dick and, sure, it might not be all that bad to suck one… as long as no one ever finds out about it.

On the forum, the topic was discussed a while back and with many of the membership wanting to know how to ask for one and expressing their desire to offer one… and how to do that without, oh, getting punched in the face or ruining a friendship. Some of the answers provided were quite interesting but not so novel from where I was sitting and involved different version of the same “steps” to take, from how to broach the subject to just coming out and asking if the object of their lust would be interested in doing some cock sucking. In this discussion, there were more guys who wanted to give one than there were guys looking to get one, which didn’t surprise me a whole lot coming from a bunch of guys on a site for bisexuals but seeing all the responses and some of the amusing suggestions offered provided some more information that said that as far as bro-jobs go, all it takes is for one guy to want to suck dick and the other guy to say yes.

Doing it isn’t the problem – getting up the nerve to ask your bud if he’d be interested in getting his dick sucked is the problem. Some of the guys said that they thought or felt that their bud might be interested and based upon something they may have said or, more often, giving them the impression that if asked, they just might accept the offer of a blow job because they’re bros and all that. The fear of loss and rejection is real and powerful in these situations and many fear that by asking, they’re outing themselves and, yeah, they got that part right. Sure, you could just pick a moment, gird your loins, have a couple of beers, and just ask him but you’d better be ready to deal with the consequences of that action and especially if his response is like, “What? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Uh-oh.

Because of this “common response,” there are quite a few of the members who are firmly of a mind that their male friends are 100% off-limits but, eh, it’s not hard to figure out that they’re saying this because everyone knows that friends just do not ever have sex with each other. Yeah, right – sure they don’t. As far as sucking dick goes, a whole lot of guys have their first experience with a friend and whether it was their idea or the friend’s idea and, almost “classically,” when they’re bored out of their minds and asking each other what is there to do and in some way I’ve never understood, doing some cock sucking just “comes up” and, my, my – that sounds like a great idea! The other camp is so infused with their fear of the other that dropping such an indecent proposal on a stranger – or having said stranger drop one on them – is enough to cause strokes and cardiac arrest and one’s best bet is to find a friend – or make a friend – who’d be willing to engage in some cock sucking.

That the Great Bro-job Controversy targeted straight men is… laughable. In my reading, a lot of pro bro-job guys just happened to be gay and, at the time, there was this strange push of some gay men wanting to seduce their straight male friends (or any straight guy they could get ahold of) and such an act, from what I read, was considered to be the “holy grail of gay cock sucking.” There’s even a whole gay porn genre involving straight guys being seduced and “paid” to do it. But the reality as I understand it says that, no, you don’t have to be straight to offer or accept a bro-job: You just gotta want to give or get one and good luck convincing the other guy that it is going to be a great idea.

The archivist in my head was having a good laugh at the times when I was asked, “What would you do if a dude asked to suck your dick?” and I decided to fuck with the guy who asked and replied, “I’d let him do it – why not?” and then sit back and enjoy watching them get all fucked up in the head. Or responding with, “Why? Are you asking?” and, oh, yeah, what fun it was to watch them start tripping all over themselves and trying to act like the question was rhetorical or, one time, the guy was asking for a “friend.” Or, “What would you do?” and then kicking back to see how they were gonna answer this and if they did at all… and, yes, some guys have said, “I asked you first!”

One guy was going on and on about the question that I actually got tired of listening to him and said, “Okay, stop already; if you want us to blow each other, stop playing around and just ask me! Damn!” I’ve had a lot of fun just sitting and listening to guys trying to convince me that it wouldn’t be all that bad if, um, you know, if we were to suck each other off. Depending on the guy, I would often have already made up my mind to say yes but, again, it was just too much fun watching them building up to being able to suggest it. One guy asked, after I said yes, “If you’d already made up your mind, why’d you let me go through all that shit?” Well, um, because I have a “weird” sense of humor but on the real, I firmly believe that if that’s what you want us to do, ask for it even though I know where you were going with this when you started talking about it.

Sigh. A bro-job can happen for any reason and sexuality doesn’t always play into it so much. It’s not a “thing” that only straight guys are into because any man can give a bro-job or get one… if he doesn’t mind and the other guy doesn’t mind either and even more so if no one else ever finds out about it. For some guys I knew, letting a guy blow them was way down on their list of things they’d do and only then in case of emergency – and you can reasonable say that the emergency was they haven’t gotten any pussy for x-amount of time or their balls were hurting so bad that just jerking off wasn’t going to do much to alleviate the pain. Or, as one guy said, “My head would have to be in a very bad space before I’d go for some shit like that!” and, I guess, on the assumption that nothing could or would happen for his head to wind up in that bad space and only letting a dude blow them – and give sucking dick a try – will get them out of that bad space.

If neither of you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. The reason why doesn’t matter so much except to be able to justify one’s actions in this. Not as easy as just asking your bro, “Yo, um, lemme suck your dick!” but, yeah, sometimes, that actually works and for no other reason than there’s nothing else to do.

 

Top Searches: “Brojob Blogs”

Ah… my “favorite” Top Searches thing has made an appearance after a long and conspicuous absence! With the way things are happening around the world, I’m not surprised that it has resurfaced again.

If there was such a blog, I’d sign up to read it. For me, this Top Search ties in nicely with what Cityman and I were talking about recently about how some guys behave when they wanna have sex… but resources/outlets are limited or nonexistent.

I’m not even gonna get into how this bro job thing only happens between straight guys – it doesn’t. All it takes is for a guy to be at odds for some reason or just be ball-achingly horny and in need of immediate relief – and being with a guy who, for his own reasons, will agree that giving each other head – at the very least – sounds like a great idea.

They’ll tell themselves and maybe each other – and as an odd form of confirmation – that it’s not really gay (ah, but it is!) and with the time-honored caveat that I won’t tell if you won’t. And if both parties agree, dicks will get sucked and those aching balls relieved – no harm, no foul, thanks, bro!

It’s not a sexuality kind of issue. “Bro job” is really more of a catch-all phrase since a literal blow job may or may not happen. Some guys will agree to jerk each other off because it’s deemed to be “less gay” than putting mouth to cock and definitely “less gay” than putting cock to ass.

Growing up, my friends and I had a lot of sex with each other because we were bored out of our minds and we couldn’t think of anything else to do and more so if we were confined to our immediate neighborhood or told to “be where I can see you!”

I long since lost count of the number of times I’d been hanging with a friend – even a new one – and the “have you ever done it with a boy” question would come up. Or, sometimes, the guy I was hanging with – or, sometimes, “stuck” with – would just up and ask, “Can I suck your dick?” Sometimes it wasn’t really about being horny; some guys just had some shit bothering them enough to put them in a funky mood and enough where it just seemed that the “solution” was to, at the least, suck a dick… and even if one or both guys had never done or thought about it before.

Strange how that works. It kinda makes sense that when you’re really tight with a guy – you’ve know each other for quite a bit of time and, as a result, know a great deal about each other – that at the right time and moment, a bro job will be put on the table. It’s rarely about being attracted to your bro; it’s not “being in love” or otherwise infatuated with him but he’s more than just a friend. I’ve had guys tell me that they’ve found themselves hanging with their bro and, out of the blue, they have a sudden and intense desire to suck his cock – where the fuck did that come from?

Or get shocked when the bro they thought they knew “everything” about comes out of left field and inquires about the possibility of them sucking each other off. Some guys won’t pop the question and if they do, sometimes the offer is rejected… and sometimes it’s on big time because the situation calls for it.

Oh, like being subjected to social distancing and severely limiting the people you can be around. If social distancing has cut a guy off from being able to go on a trim hunt – or, if he has a lady and she doesn’t live with him and is on the other side of town – but his bro is close by – sure, they could hang out to ease the depressing feeling of being so isolated and restricted in their ability to socialize… and I wouldn’t be surprised if the bro job card came out nor would I be surprised to find that both guys were thinking about putting the card on the table but were afraid to turn it over.

I’ve always believed that if you leave two guys to their own devices in certain situations, there’s no telling what is being thought about… and certainly no telling what might happen. I know I’ve been hanging with a guy and have felt a lot of sexual tension in the air and I’ve even been reasonably sure that I’m not the source of it but I know it and so does he. The moment passes and later the guy tells me what was on his mind at that moment – but didn’t know how to bring it up, let alone know how I would react to it. Depending on the guy, I’d either shrug it off and even act like I didn’t notice the sexual tension surrounding us… and sometimes – depending on the guy – I’d say, “Yeah, I felt it… why didn’t you just say what was on your mind? I would have been okay with it…”

They happen because, sometimes, needs must. Easier to deal with things right then and there than to wait until one’s “normal” way to relieve the pressure can be obtained, found, whatever. I don’t think it’s a thing two strangers just meeting for the first time would do unless one of the guys is, ah, more predisposed to sucking dick and the other guy is “just” a target of opportunity. If and when it happens, it tends to happen between guys who know each other – they’re bros, homies, friends, road partners – and, situationally, there’s nothing else to do, they’re stressed out in some way, or just plain and seriously horny…

And their bro is, more than likely, the one male on the planet they feel they can confide and trust. It happens. Probably happens a lot more than people might think it does and, again, sexuality isn’t always at the root of this. If there’s a WordPress blog being written about it, I haven’t seen it.

Are women subject to this phenomenon? Probably… not that you’d get them to admit it one way or the other but I’d say that theoretically, the potential is there and dependent upon how close they are. If so, the “bro job” just doesn’t happen between men but, yeah, sure – makes sense that men can be the focal point in this.

 

Top Searches: The Indecent Proposal

So, yeah, once again, Top Searches revealed a search that says, “Offer a bro job” and, well, it’s not as simple as just asking a guy if you can suck his dick… because it’s not easy to figure out what guys just might say, “Okay – let’s do it!”

Or ya might get your feelings hurt… or your jaw, eye, you know, some body part you’d rather not have experiencing pain. Guys are always asking this question and, I supposed, hoping or otherwise expecting that there’s some sure way to drop this indecent proposal on another guy and he’s gonna agree to it. That we – men – have a very long history of not dealing with rejection well doesn’t help matters any.

In the past when this bro-job thing has gotten my attention, I’ve offered that you can do one of two things: Just ask a guy if you can blow him or start the long, laborious and often hilarious process of dropping all the hints you can and hope that (a) the other guy picks up on them and (b) he says, “Yeah, suck my dick, brah!”

The funny thing is that the other guy might even be aware that you’re trying to find a way to ask him if you can blow him… and he’s not gonna let you know that he knows what you’re getting at – and whether he’s interested or not. As previously mentioned, even I have sat there and watched guys jump through all of these hoops and have not given one indication that I know what he’s asking.

The difference between myself and other guys is that, um, if I think you’re okay, chances are good you’ll be sucking my dick… after I have a few laughs at your expense. Still, it’s not that men, in general, are opposed to having their cocks sucked; for many, letting a dude blow them is a measure of last resort as well as an act of severe desperation something that should be avoided. So you could be dropping that indecent proposal on a guy and he really wouldn’t mind getting sucked off right about now… but it’s a question of whether or not the guy is willing to make such a desperate step.

While a lot of guys do not think it’s “gay” to have a dude sucking dick, well, it’s all well and good… as long as you haven’t become the object of some guy’s oral lust. Now shit gets real and in ways a lot of guys tend to think that no one would ever approach them like that and, again, the kicker is that it’s quite possible that the guy being propositioned just may have wondered what it would be like but, nah, ain’t gonna do that.

But you never really know until you find a way to pop the question… and that’s the scary part – not knowing, even if you’re asking a guy that you’re pretty sure you know very well. I’ve seen guys who “famously” rant and rave against all things homosexual treat themselves to a bro-job and while you may think this is… counterintuitive (for lack of a better word), it really isn’t because there aren’t that many men who don’t know that, push come to shove, if they need their dick sucked, there’s a guy out there who’d be more than willing to do it.

So you’d think that a guy displaying “homophobic tendencies” might not be a good person to ask… and you could be wrong about that… but there’s no way to really know… unless you ask. Conversely, you might think a guy who is… friendly in this area would be the right person to ask – except, one can be quite friendly in this regard because it makes sense to be but doesn’t mean he’s gonna pull out his cock to be sucked by the guy asking him.

I often and futilely wish that the people searching WordPress for this can read all the stuff I write about this and maybe they do – there’s no way to determine this that I know of. You’re either going to “man-up,” look at the guy you want to blow, and tell him that you want to suck his dick and why you do (and hope for the best) or you’re gonna take the indirect route by dropping hints all over the place and hope the guy catches them and is agreeable.

Or, if the thought and fear of being rejected is too great for you to deal with, don’t say anything about it and settle for spending some time jerking off and thinking about sucking your bro’s cock until he loses his load.

Have I offered them? Yep! Have I been turned down? Yep! Have I had guys say, “Well, okay, if you really want to…”? Yep! Have I dropped hints? Kinda – you gotta learn how to steer a conversation in the right direction so that you can get a peek inside the other guy’s head and then try to guess whether he’s agreeable or not. Have I used the direct approach? Sure have and as such things go, it either worked or it didn’t. I’ve even had guys say no to my indecent proposal but come back later and accept it after they’ve had a moment to think more about it.

One such guy showed up like a week after my offer and said, “Yo, um, if you still wanna suck my dick, I’m cool with it…” I’d actually forgotten we even had that conversation but I quickly remembered it… and gave him a memorable blow job… and even got one from him.

Still very much remains true that if you don’t ask, you won’t know and even if the answer is, “Oh, hell no! What’s wrong with you!?” I get the urge and need to suck dick but too many guys are just too afraid to pop the question out of fear of being rejected and, perhaps, wind up losing a friend… so I also get why guys who want to offer a bro-job are fervently looking for a way to do it that doesn’t end in rejection and loss.

And there’s no way to do it that is 100% foolproof and guaranteed to produce the desired result. It’s not merely a thing of wondering if you can even ask the guy; you have to be very sure that you can ask him if you can suck his dick – and a lot of guys aren’t sure that they can ask for what they want. It’s a kind of confidence thing that comes with being able to accept and deal with the consequences of your actions. It’s not easy to propose this, get rejected, and wind up losing a friend… and maybe have this guy put the word out on you that you like sucking cock and if you’re not prepared to accept these consequences, don’t offer a bro-job.

When this bro-job thing surfaced, I guess the thought was that guys all over the place were now offering up their dicks to be sucked and regardless to their sexuality; the truth is that bro-jobs do happen… they just don’t happen as a matter of course. I’ve heard it asked, “Why would a straight dude want another guy to suck his dick?” and, on the surface, this just doesn’t make sense, does it? However, if you think it really doesn’t, I’d suggest that you don’t know as much about men as you think you do. Again, it’s not that “Pete” wouldn’t want “Eddie” to give him a blow job – Pete’s thinking about the implications and his image more than anything else; if he went along with this, would people think he was really gay and other things along this line?

Gets really funny at this point because they automatically assume that someone else is gonna find out that Eddie sucked him off and that’s not likely to happen unless Pete or Eddie says something about it to other people… which ain’t very likely because the one condition to offering and/or accepting a bro-job is, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

It takes a certain amount of… courage to accept such an indecent proposal and when this is gonna be something very new to you and, let’s face it, not all men are courageous enough to want to. I think, however, that if the guy making the proposition can explain why he wants to suck homey’s dick and in a way that speaks to the depth of their friendship, well, that could work… maybe; you have to be able to answer the question of why home boy should let you blow him and if you can’t convince him that he’d not be making a huge mistake, well, you’re hosed.

And, sometimes, you can explain it eloquently and logically… and he might still say no. There’s no doubt in a proposer’s mind that he wants to suck that dick but there’s loads of doubt over how the proposal will be accepted and, once more, if you’re not willing to deal with the consequences of putting an indecent proposal on the table, then don’t.

And, if you’re wondering, I’ve gotten such proposals and I’ve said yes or no depending on whatever’s going on in my head about the guy asking and I will ask, “Why me?” and how that question gets answered goes a long way toward whatever decision I might make. One guy offered me one, I asked why and he responded with, “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

It was a good enough answer for me to say, “Okay…” because, if nothing else, it was an honest response. Another guy told me, “I just think you’d appreciate it…” and I did… because his answer to my question was honest. Even “I’ve always wanted to suck a dick…” is a good answer as long as I can be convinced that the sentiment is an honest one but if I don’t think it is, the answer will be, “Thanks, but no thanks – doesn’t mean we’re still not friends so don’t go thinking that, okay?”

And even I’ve been known to change my mind – but this is me and how I approach the bro-job thing and your results, if you choose to pursue this, will most certainly vary.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Wait, what?”

As usual – or typical for me – that bro job thing got stuck in my head but in terms of reacting to your boy looking at you saying, “I want to suck your dick…” or asking if it’s gonna be a problem because he wants to give you a blow job.

I think the best or worse reactions happen when the guy being asked never saw this coming – surprise! If you had any reason to think that your boy has been acting like he might want to blow you, when the proposition arrives, eh, it’s not all that surprising and because you’ve had some time to think about stuff, you’ve got your answer already prepared.

I, myself, have been totally taken by surprise when offered a bro job from someone I never expected to offer one.  I’ve been… confused in those times when a conversation with a guy goes from “the usual guy stuff” to, “Hey… have you ever wondered what it’s like to have a guy suck your cock?”

Wait, what?  How did we get on this topic?  One guy I know went from talking about his favorite football team one moment and in the next saying, “I wonder what it’s like to suck dick?”

Methinks that it’s a very different thing if you have reason to believe that your bud might be the “kind” of guy who’d put this out there; I’ve hung out with guys who have given me the impression – and a strong one – that they know their way around a dick so since this is kind of a “when, not if” situation, I’ve had time to think about how I might respond when he gets up enough nerve to put it out there.

But when you don’t see it coming, yeah – it can be quite a shock.  I even learned to really pay attention when hanging out with a guy – or guys – who’ve been hitting the sauce pretty hard; with their inhibitions gone, ain’t no telling what might come out of their mouth and, again, since I’m aware of this, I’m better prepared should the matter come up – yeah, the pun’s intended this time.  Having said that, I’ve also been quite shocked when the proposition comes from a guy who’s cronked… and he was the last person I’d suspect of having that level of inhibition removal.

For the guy making the proposition, well, I’ve seen them make bad decisions and usually with someone they thought they knew well enough – or trusted enough – to offer up a bro job… only to find out they guessed wrongly and really didn’t know the other guy as well as he thought… and the other guy didn’t take the proposition well at all.

The thing is that you just don’t know whether a guy is going to accept… or maybe punch your lights out… which is probably why I keep seeing this come up in my Top Searches so much and, as far as I know, there’s no sure-fire way to offer one and no guarantee that the offer will be graciously, happily, and eagerly accepted.

You can’t really take what a guy might say about this as a true matter of fact; I know of too many guys who have gone off the rails against anything M2M and to anyone who wants to be bothered to hear it… but in a one-on-one situation?  They just might hurt themselves getting their dick out to be sucked under the “I won’t tell if you won’t” rule.  I figured that if there are ten guys talking about this, whoever is protesting too much is likely to give up the dick when asked for it – privately, of course – but there’s always that one guy who’s protesting and he’s very serious about not feeling any of that.

A guy I know once asked me an interesting question.  He didn’t ask me what I would do or say if offered a blow job – he asked me what would go through my mind upon hearing the offer… and my brain kinda locked up.  Not because I didn’t know the answer – it was because I know how I am and all of the shit I can think about and so much that it’s like an information overload that’ll just put my noodle in neutral.  What I did say to him was, “I really can’t say – there’s a lot of shit I’d have to think about.”

“Fair enough,” he said… then asked me if he could suck my dick.

Wait, what?  And to make matters worse, he’s sitting there patiently waiting for me to answer him.  If I had – or could – put a number to it, I must have thought of a couple of hundred (or more) things and while I wasn’t feeling pressured to answer quickly, I reasoned that I only had, oh, maybe, thirty seconds at the most and at best to answer one way or the other… and it didn’t help my thinking to notice his dick was hard… and it didn’t help that I even looked to see if he was.

Sometimes, ya just say, “Fuck it…” and accept the offer – then hope you made the right decision… or sometimes you turn it down and wind up kicking your own ass for doing so.

I still think it’s hilarious to watch a guy go through some shit trying to figure out the best way to pop the question, even when, when he starts trying to put it into words, I’m thinking, “Wait, what? Why are we talking about this? Uh oh…” Now, it could be that this conversation has come up not because he wanted to blow me… but he has his sights on someone else and I’m just a sounding board or even a “crash-test dummy,” someone he can “use” to get the right words to come out.

I’ve seen guys react to having been offered one and, sometimes, that can be just as funny when they say, “Yo, lemme tell you what “Jackie” asked me the other day! Can you believe he asked me if he could suck my dick?”

Depends on whether or not I knew the guy in question; maybe I do believe it, maybe I don’t… but their reaction is still funny and gets even funnier when I ask, “Well, what did you say? Nah, I ain’t saying anything bad about you or whatever – I just wanna know what you said, you know, in case I run into him.”

Let the games begin. He’s had that, “Wait, what?” moment and hearing all about it, well, let’s say it’s hard for me to keep a straight face. What I am wondering, though, is whether he said yes… even when he said no – because, well, some guys are like that because image/rep is everything.

Gets even better when the guy asks me, “Do you think I should have let him do it?” Now, he could have said no but at this point, is having second thoughts about it… or he let it happen but is trying to make me believe he didn’t. Doesn’t matter – it’s still pretty funny and I’m not beyond saying, “I really can’t say if you should have or not – what do you really think about that?”

Yeah… not helping. Funnier still is when they try to turn it around and ask me, “Well, what would you have done or said?”

Still not helping when I say, “I don’t know…” or, “Hey, wait – he didn’t ask me! He asked you! How’d I get all up in this?”

All humor aside, bro jobs happen; make no mistake about this. I just decided to write about reactions, both good and bad and being in that “Wait, what?” moment because it’s always funny when it happens to someone else; might not be that funny when it happens to you.

 

Top Searches: “Giving Brojob”

No, couldn’t ignore this one and my first thought was, “Are they serious? Who doesn’t know how to suck a dick?”

But, yep, I had to retract that first thought because I know there are guys who really don’t know how to suck a dick… and even if they’ve ever seen it done.

Wow… what a glaring disconnect… but, okay, first, ya gotta want to give one, then get the other guy to agree to receiving one. Take his dick out; put it in your mouth; imitate whatever you’ve seen about blow jobs, whether it was being done to you or you saw it in some porn flick. Keep doing it until he says he’s gonna cum and very quickly decide to let him cum in your mouth, you’re gonna swallow it, spit it out, or remove yourself from the dick as to avoid having to swallow it, taste it, or wind up spitting it out.

There – you just gave a brojob and, hopefully, the bro you gave it to is happy that you did!

Sound easy? It really isn’t for those who have never sucked a dick before. Brojobs appear to be difficult for those who have, um, prior experience but the difficulty isn’t in the doing – it’s getting the other guy to agree to receiving one and more so if you don’t know that he would be or, gasp, you thought that he would be and you thought wrongly.

Shit, giving one is easier even when you gotta figure that out on the fly…

Am I “surprised” by such searches? Nah, not really – but they do amuse the shit out of me but it’s also… kinda cool that there are maybe guys who wanna find out what it’s like to suck dick and while there are guys who’d tell you that such a thought has never, ever crossed their mind, well, I know that it can since I’ve talked to a lot of guys who have said that they’ve wondered what it would be like… not that they’d actually do it, mind you.

Uh-huh. Sure you wouldn’t. We’ve just been talking about this for the last hour because we can’t find anything else to talk about, right? No – I believe you (no, I really don’t but you don’t need to know that)! Yeah, you can be curious about it without really finding out – who says you have to do it (but I’m thinking that you really want to – but you don’t need to know that, either)?

And it’s always funny to listen to these guys go from “I’d never do that shit” to coming up with many scenarios that would find them with a hard dick in their mouth and/or a mouth around their own woody. I’ve almost hurt myself trying not to laugh listening to guys who have “a friend” that asked them about it and they’re trying to get an answer for “their friend.”

Really? No, no – I believe your friend asked you about it (no, I don’t) – I’m just surprised you’re asking me about it and that “your friend” asked you to find out and you didn’t get all medieval on his ass for having the nerve to ask you, that’s all. What makes you think I know the answer (I do… but you don’t need to know that)?

Huh? How do you find the answer? Well, truthfully, I’d say that if you can’t find someone to give you the answer, um, you’d probably have to do it yourself – it’s the surest way to get the question answered, you know, not that you’d really do that, right (and I can see in your eyes that you’re thinking about doing just that)? Although, it doesn’t make sense to me that you’d be willing to put yourself through something like that just to answer “a friend’s” question – y’all must be some really good and close friends, huh?

It’s hilarious to sit, watch, and listen to guys doing this and, yes, they really do even if they’d deny it. I know what’s on their mind and why it is and while they’re going through this comedy routine, I’m thinking about whether or not I wanna be involved or not and, no, I’m not beyond fucking with them by saying something like, “Why are we talking about this?” or, sometimes, “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Oh, such fun with a matter that is really a serious one for the guy who is looking for his first oral sex experience with another guy. I don’t and won’t get serious unless he does but until he does, why shouldn’t I have some fun at his expense as he flounders around like that fish out of water instead of just putting the proposition out there?

Okay, I said something about this – again – and I’m all better now, thanks.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Balls of Blue

The pain was incredible and appeared out of nowhere; one moment, my friend and I were talking about what kind of mischief we could get into on this fine, summer day… and the next, wow, jeez, this really hurts – why is it hurting down there?

My friend looks at me, alarm on his face and he can see the pained and confused look on my face and starts asking me what’s wrong; this… whatever it is, hurts so much I can’t talk – it’s taking every ounce of my will to keep breathing and not start trying. He asked me where it hurt and, unable to speak, grab my crotch – gently because, as I just found out, moving makes it hurt even more.

“Oh, okay,” he says before yanking down my shorts and underwear, getting on his knees, and sucking my dick into his mouth. The pain was getting worse but, wait, is it easing up some? I’m standing there with my friend blowing me as if my life depended on it… and it sure as hell felt like it. It started to feel good, slowly but surely replacing the indescribable pain in my groin; I could breathe again, still couldn’t form words outside of my mind and just as I felt my body relaxing, one last sharp spike of pain hit me, only to be quickly replaced by that really good but weird feeling of shooting my stuff.

The pain was gone. For a moment, I wondered if it had even been real as my friend stood up, licking his lips and smiling as if he’d just done something miraculous and I supposed that he did.

“You had blue balls,” he said, reaching down and cupping my balls. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah,” I said with a puzzled look on my face. I know what my balls are but given my complexion, uh, how can they turn blue?

“Good. You just needed to shoot some stuff,” he said wisely – and wisely for a guy who was only a month older than I was. “Hmm… my balls kinda hurt now…”

I was more than happy to make his balls stop hurting – and if they were really hurting – like he made mine stop hurting and he seemed to be just as grateful as I had been.

Blue balls. The one thing that can happen to a guy that feels as bad – or worse – than getting whacked in the nuts. Kinda in my defense, I’d heard older guys talking about blue balls and how they seemed to turn blue if they wanted to get some nookie but that didn’t happen. I remembered how all the guys who knew about this would grimace and, yeah, just like they all got kicked in the nads – then start laughing about it. My first experience with this… condition, when it hit me, totally disconnected things in my head – acute pain will do that fairly easily. Now, I can say that I didn’t feel like I needed to do the nasty before that incredible pain landed on me like a freight train but what my friend did – an early version of a bro job – was what the “doctor” ordered.

I investigated this blue balls thing; think of it as “backed up pipes” for simplicity’s sake and the reason they call it blue balls is because when this… backup of blood happens to white guys, wow, their balls really turn an interesting blue color.

Who knew? Later, I learned that one can relieve a case of blue balls – and one that usually happens when one gets sexually excited and, um, nothing happens – by jerking off to clean the pipes out (and if you’re wondering how that plumbing phrase made into the sexual lexicon) but since that was supposed to make you go blind and grow hair on the palms of your hand, well, okay – if you were hanging out with a male friend and a case of blue balls was upon you, for immediate and welcome relief – and if you can – ask the guy with you if he would help you.

Now, um, sometimes, if you did ask him for help and he wasn’t of a mind to assist you, he’d just look at you with sympathy and pretty much tell you that you’re on your own and good luck with that. But, yeah, sometimes the guy you’re with has had some experience with blue balls, knows how painful it is and it’s just an act of mercy to get you somewhere private and give you an “emergency blow job” to ease your pain… and more so if he knows that you’d do the same for him, you know, being good friends and all that.

Wasn’t a big deal, didn’t mean you were gay or anything like that but among friends, just an act of kindness and mercy… and provided ya didn’t tell anyone how you got rid of your case of blue balls. Now, if you were hanging out with him again and managed to have another painful attack of blue balls, maybe he helps, maybe he doesn’t and that all depends on how he felt about helping you that first time and, um, how you may have shown your gratitude for his timely aid when you, er, um, made sure that he wouldn’t come down with a badly aching pair of balls.

I don’t think I could really put a number to the times I’d come to a guy’s aid when his balls were blue but, sure, I wouldn’t let a guy suffer with this even if we weren’t really friends. I was at the YMCA one day, fresh out of the pool after doing a mile of laps (25 laps, if you’re wondering) when a guy who was either getting undressed for something – or getting redressed – suddenly doubled over, groaning in pain and holding his nuts as if some invisible person had just hauled off and punted his balls. I knew immediately what was wrong; homey was sweating profusely, his face flushed a really odd red-purple color and of course I asked him if he as okay even though I knew, from experience, what was wrong with him.

His eyes were wild-looking; sweat was pouring down his face like he was in the shower and his whole body was shaking from the painful intensity. There wasn’t anyone else in the locker room so I went over to him and took a peek in his underwear and, sure enough, his balls were a pretty shade of blue.

“I can fix that,” I said gently as I pulled his underwear down and slurped his cock into my mouth and as he vainly tried to ask me, I think, what the hell was I doing. After a few and well-placed and time deep sucks, he unloaded in my mouth and like his pipes had been clogged up for a month – boy, did he ever put a lot of sperm in my mouth and so much I almost couldn’t keep up with it!

I looked up at him as his dick was slowing some really intense pumping; his color was better, he wasn’t sweating as much and, as I released him, I took a peek at his nuts and they were back to being a healthy, pinkish color. I stood up and pulled his underwear back up – and just in time as some guys were coming into the locker room. The guy I had “rescued” was still kinda shaky, looking a bit dazed as he followed me back to where my locker was and whispered both his thanks as well as his… consternation over how he got relieved of a major case of blue balls because, hey, he wasn’t that kind of guy.

I just looked at him and in a way that asked him, “Would you have rather kept dealing with that pain?” I guess he interpreted my look precisely, looked a bit sheepish, and said, “Thanks, man – I owe you one!” before going back to his locker.

Just one of many examples of how some bro-jobs happen. You feel that ache beginning and I don’t know which is worse – having a bad case of blue balls or having a toothache and while you can’t always get some seriously and immediate pain relief from a toothache, to make a case of very painful blue balls go away, you need to bust a nut and the sooner, the better. If you’re alone, it’s time to choke the daylights out of the chicken; if you have a your lady nearby – and if she’s willing to help you – screw her or, if she’s of a mind to, get her to blow you if, you know, she even cares that you’re experiencing that kind of excruciating, mind-numbing pain.

If you’re with your bro and you think the two of you are really good friends, sure, you can whip it out in front of him (and provided you’re not in some public place, of course), apologize for giving him something he can’t un-see, and get yourself off… or you can brave asking him to get you off since there are times when this comes on so suddenly and painfully you can’t help yourself. If he’s that good of a friend, maybe he helps you out… or leaves you to suffer with it but, still, it’s one of those situations where a bro-job is called for and one that, if you were previously not of a mind to be sucking some dude’s dick, you’d sure as hell make an exception if he came to your aid and played with your dick so you could cum and get those pipes cleared out.

Sometimes, just saying, “Thanks, man – ya saved my ass!” ain’t good enough or doesn’t really express your profound gratitude. I’ve aided in blue ball relief and have told the other guy that his thanks is thanks enough and no reciprocation is needed or required… which hasn’t stopped some guys from wanting to express their gratitude in a similar way… and, a few times, it would be their first experience with sucking cock either way.

Because you’d do anything to make your nuts stop hurting. I’ve seen and heard of guys curling up in the fetal position and crying like babies; I’ve seen this pain hit guys so hard and fast, they sometimes vomit or they drop as if poleaxed, their legs just refusing to hold them up and now it’s decision time: Do you do the one thing you know will ease his horrific pain… or do you just stand there and watch him suffer and when you probably know what he’s feeling?

At the very least, you offer some relief and if he accepts it, fine but if he doesn’t, well, hmm, okay – at least I offered and maybe the next time you have this happen and we’re together, you might reconsider… provided you make it through the terrible pain this time.

Sometimes, a bro-job isn’t about just being horny and wanting to take care of that immediately if not sooner; sometimes, it is an act of kindness and mercy if you do, in fact, know what that feels like; it really does, at times, become a question of, “What would you do to help a friend in dire need of release?”

From the “guys can be hilarious” department, I’ve been hanging out with a guy and have heard him change the subject of whatever we were talking about by saying, “Damn… my nuts are starting to hurt!” In my mind, that’s code for, “You know, if you were to give me a blow job, I’d be okay with that.” Depending on the guy – and if his nuts are really hurting and with severity (and sometimes, his balls are just fine, as it turns out) – I’d at least think about offering a bro-job if I determine his case of blue balls is valid but if he’s just being clumsy about wanting me to suck his dick, sure, I’ll stand or sit there and watch him fake an extreme case of blue balls because if nothing else, it’ll be entertaining.

I even told a guy once, after a stellar performance, “I’ll send you an Oscar later… but if you wanted me to suck you off, why didn’t you just ask?”

“You might have said no,” he replied, looking all cheesy.

“I might have said yes,” I said.

“Um, would you?” he asked.

And I did… because his Oscar winning performance was really pretty good if I might say so myself and had to be rewarded. I also found out that he was pretty good at sucking dick, too, something I hadn’t known about him before his award-winning acting.

“Next time, just ask,” I said after we drained each other dry. He at least had the good sense to look embarrassed after trying to bullshit me and failing.

Even if you’re an avid cock sucker like I am, you don’t just jump in there and do something about the other guy’s painful predicament; you have to do some triage and assess the situation, take the guy having this insane pain into consideration and determine if easing his pain is worth him finding out something about you that, under ordinary circumstance, you’d rather not let a whole lot of people know.

But how far would you go to help a friend who’s clearly suffering from a major attack of blue balls? Will it fix itself? Eh, sometimes it does but even in my blue ball moments, fuck – that pain just keeps getting worse the longer you let it go unattended. To my “shame” and perhaps “dishonor,” I have sat or stood and watched guys suffer with this and it doesn’t feel good to do this when I know I can help him manually or orally… but I also know that helping him would create an even bigger problem than his poor nuts being all painfully swollen. We’re friends… just not that close as friends, sorry about that – hope you get that taken care of soon.

A bro-job can happen due to being seriously horny; under extreme emotional distress and duress, and even when one is under the influence of whatever hair of the dog that bit them… but sometimes, they can happen because the pain of blue balls is just too much to deal with and waiting any longer than you want to in order to make that pain go away just ain’t gonna work.

What would you do?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts and Top Searches: What… Again?

Scanning my Desktop, noting what’s been looked at since yesterday and then, damn, this:

“How to ask if someone wants a bro job.”

First thought:  What, again?

Second thought:  Did the person searching for this find the blogs I wrote about this when they searched?

Third thought:  Man, I wish there was a way to find out who’s searching for stuff so bloggers could respond to them if they wanted to…

Asking a guy if he wants to get bro-jobbed all depends on whether or not you have a clue that he’d be down for it and unless he said that he wouldn’t mind having some dude suck his dick and get him off, chances are you’re not gonna know.  Still, this is turning out to be one of my favorite “searches” other than intercrural sex – that’s fucking without penetration, to save any new readers from rushing to find out what the word means.

You can’t really go on what a guy might say so a guy in need of a bro-job could very well be dropping hints like hot potatoes and it’s not all that obvious that he’s dropping hints.  Even when you’ve known a, ah, potential bro-job candidate for a long period of time, that’s not a guarantee that if asked, he’s gonna just jump on the invitation and whip out his schlong.

As I’ve written before, I’ve heard guys going on and on about needing to have their dick sucked and their aching nuts emptied; are they just stating a matter of fact or are they dropping a hint?  Could be one or the other… could be both, too, and unless you ask him to be more specific, you’re not gonna know which thing he’s really doing… except, um, asking him, “Are you asking if I’d suck you off?” is a really touchy question to ask, wouldn’t you agree?  And, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve actually asked such “direct” questions in response to what I felt were hints, like, “Why are you telling me about it?” or even agreeing that, yup, having my dick sucked right about now would really work… then kinda sit back and watch how they react and wait for what they might say next – and if they say anything at all.

The real conundrum here isn’t figuring out if a guy would be down for it – that would be asking a guy you think might be in need of one and without, let’s say, something bad and/or embarrassing happening.  So how do you ask someone if they want a bro-job?  Very carefully.

You just don’t know how a guy will react.