Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Revisiting the Bro-Job

I was sitting here listening to the Weather Channel people going on and on about Hurricane Henri and looked at my Dashboard to see that something I wrote quite a while ago about bro-jobs is still making the rounds and just might be the most-read scribble I’ve written; I wonder if there’s a way I can check that?

I saw it and my first thought was, “Hmm, it’s back.” My second thought was, “They can be nice, good for mind and body.” As I thought these two things, the archivist in my head once again flashed through the many times I’ve given a bro-job and the times I’ve gotten one because, well, I guess the guy who gave it felt like I needed one or, as it “usually” turns out, it sounded like a good idea. The archivist then pulled up every time Cityman and I have talked about this, from the silly notion that it’s only a thing straight guys get into to rhetorically asking what’s so wrong about giving one and just because. His favorite scenario is hanging with a guy, watching a game or a movie, having some cocktails and snacks and one guy looks at the other and asks, “Hey, how about I suck your dick?”

It’s not really that “absurd” a situation. I’d suppose that some might think that a bro-job only happens in case of emergency but I’ve seen them happen without any emotional stress or the pain of someone’s nuts hurting. I’ve seen stuff written about this about guys doing this to help each other out but that’s not the only reason why one might be offered and accepted and my favorite is there not being anything better to do. Stuff I’ve seen suggests that a guy who accepts or offers one could be expressing some latent bisexuality or even homosexuality and I don’t necessarily disagree with this but some straight guys I knew of who talked about that time they sucked a friend’s dick have said that it sounded like a good idea at the time and some expressed confusion over why the idea even popped into their head.

Perhaps they were curious and some guys I knew of admitted that some hair of the dog was involved but stated that just because it happened didn’t mean they were gay or anything like that but quite often the real reason for offering and/or getting one was because there just wasn’t anything better to do at the time. I know that back in the day, being bored was a good reason to get the dicks out and do some sucking. So was having a painful case of blue balls. Ditto for being emotionally stressed. Um, any reason to do it worked, to be truthful about it. Getting older exposed me to a lot of guys who’d bemoan men giving each other blow jobs and while I didn’t find that to be out of character for the time, what I found curious were the number of guys who’d tell you in a heartbeat that they’d never do it… and then rattle off a list of improbably conditions that would have to be in play before they’d let some faggot suck their dick and, even “funnier,” how some would say that they’d be so offended to be asked that they’d teach that gay motherfucker a lesson by shoving their dick down their throat… and like the guy offering one would really object to that “punishment.”

When you’ve heard how silly some guys can be trying to drop hints that they wouldn’t mind a bro-job because, you know, it would really help them out right about now, a lot of the stuff I’d read early on about the Great Bro-job Controversy was just some “faction” putting straight guys on blast and questioning their sexuality and engaging in what I thought was a lot of unnecessary psychobabble and ignoring the more simplest reason: Guys like having their dick sucked and it’s not like they don’t know that guys suck dick and, sure, it might not be all that bad to suck one… as long as no one ever finds out about it.

On the forum, the topic was discussed a while back and with many of the membership wanting to know how to ask for one and expressing their desire to offer one… and how to do that without, oh, getting punched in the face or ruining a friendship. Some of the answers provided were quite interesting but not so novel from where I was sitting and involved different version of the same “steps” to take, from how to broach the subject to just coming out and asking if the object of their lust would be interested in doing some cock sucking. In this discussion, there were more guys who wanted to give one than there were guys looking to get one, which didn’t surprise me a whole lot coming from a bunch of guys on a site for bisexuals but seeing all the responses and some of the amusing suggestions offered provided some more information that said that as far as bro-jobs go, all it takes is for one guy to want to suck dick and the other guy to say yes.

Doing it isn’t the problem – getting up the nerve to ask your bud if he’d be interested in getting his dick sucked is the problem. Some of the guys said that they thought or felt that their bud might be interested and based upon something they may have said or, more often, giving them the impression that if asked, they just might accept the offer of a blow job because they’re bros and all that. The fear of loss and rejection is real and powerful in these situations and many fear that by asking, they’re outing themselves and, yeah, they got that part right. Sure, you could just pick a moment, gird your loins, have a couple of beers, and just ask him but you’d better be ready to deal with the consequences of that action and especially if his response is like, “What? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Uh-oh.

Because of this “common response,” there are quite a few of the members who are firmly of a mind that their male friends are 100% off-limits but, eh, it’s not hard to figure out that they’re saying this because everyone knows that friends just do not ever have sex with each other. Yeah, right – sure they don’t. As far as sucking dick goes, a whole lot of guys have their first experience with a friend and whether it was their idea or the friend’s idea and, almost “classically,” when they’re bored out of their minds and asking each other what is there to do and in some way I’ve never understood, doing some cock sucking just “comes up” and, my, my – that sounds like a great idea! The other camp is so infused with their fear of the other that dropping such an indecent proposal on a stranger – or having said stranger drop one on them – is enough to cause strokes and cardiac arrest and one’s best bet is to find a friend – or make a friend – who’d be willing to engage in some cock sucking.

That the Great Bro-job Controversy targeted straight men is… laughable. In my reading, a lot of pro bro-job guys just happened to be gay and, at the time, there was this strange push of some gay men wanting to seduce their straight male friends (or any straight guy they could get ahold of) and such an act, from what I read, was considered to be the “holy grail of gay cock sucking.” There’s even a whole gay porn genre involving straight guys being seduced and “paid” to do it. But the reality as I understand it says that, no, you don’t have to be straight to offer or accept a bro-job: You just gotta want to give or get one and good luck convincing the other guy that it is going to be a great idea.

The archivist in my head was having a good laugh at the times when I was asked, “What would you do if a dude asked to suck your dick?” and I decided to fuck with the guy who asked and replied, “I’d let him do it – why not?” and then sit back and enjoy watching them get all fucked up in the head. Or responding with, “Why? Are you asking?” and, oh, yeah, what fun it was to watch them start tripping all over themselves and trying to act like the question was rhetorical or, one time, the guy was asking for a “friend.” Or, “What would you do?” and then kicking back to see how they were gonna answer this and if they did at all… and, yes, some guys have said, “I asked you first!”

One guy was going on and on about the question that I actually got tired of listening to him and said, “Okay, stop already; if you want us to blow each other, stop playing around and just ask me! Damn!” I’ve had a lot of fun just sitting and listening to guys trying to convince me that it wouldn’t be all that bad if, um, you know, if we were to suck each other off. Depending on the guy, I would often have already made up my mind to say yes but, again, it was just too much fun watching them building up to being able to suggest it. One guy asked, after I said yes, “If you’d already made up your mind, why’d you let me go through all that shit?” Well, um, because I have a “weird” sense of humor but on the real, I firmly believe that if that’s what you want us to do, ask for it even though I know where you were going with this when you started talking about it.

Sigh. A bro-job can happen for any reason and sexuality doesn’t always play into it so much. It’s not a “thing” that only straight guys are into because any man can give a bro-job or get one… if he doesn’t mind and the other guy doesn’t mind either and even more so if no one else ever finds out about it. For some guys I knew, letting a guy blow them was way down on their list of things they’d do and only then in case of emergency – and you can reasonable say that the emergency was they haven’t gotten any pussy for x-amount of time or their balls were hurting so bad that just jerking off wasn’t going to do much to alleviate the pain. Or, as one guy said, “My head would have to be in a very bad space before I’d go for some shit like that!” and, I guess, on the assumption that nothing could or would happen for his head to wind up in that bad space and only letting a dude blow them – and give sucking dick a try – will get them out of that bad space.

If neither of you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. The reason why doesn’t matter so much except to be able to justify one’s actions in this. Not as easy as just asking your bro, “Yo, um, lemme suck your dick!” but, yeah, sometimes, that actually works and for no other reason than there’s nothing else to do.

 

Top Searches: “Brojob Blogs”

Ah… my “favorite” Top Searches thing has made an appearance after a long and conspicuous absence! With the way things are happening around the world, I’m not surprised that it has resurfaced again.

If there was such a blog, I’d sign up to read it. For me, this Top Search ties in nicely with what Cityman and I were talking about recently about how some guys behave when they wanna have sex… but resources/outlets are limited or nonexistent.

I’m not even gonna get into how this bro job thing only happens between straight guys – it doesn’t. All it takes is for a guy to be at odds for some reason or just be ball-achingly horny and in need of immediate relief – and being with a guy who, for his own reasons, will agree that giving each other head – at the very least – sounds like a great idea.

They’ll tell themselves and maybe each other – and as an odd form of confirmation – that it’s not really gay (ah, but it is!) and with the time-honored caveat that I won’t tell if you won’t. And if both parties agree, dicks will get sucked and those aching balls relieved – no harm, no foul, thanks, bro!

It’s not a sexuality kind of issue. “Bro job” is really more of a catch-all phrase since a literal blow job may or may not happen. Some guys will agree to jerk each other off because it’s deemed to be “less gay” than putting mouth to cock and definitely “less gay” than putting cock to ass.

Growing up, my friends and I had a lot of sex with each other because we were bored out of our minds and we couldn’t think of anything else to do and more so if we were confined to our immediate neighborhood or told to “be where I can see you!”

I long since lost count of the number of times I’d been hanging with a friend – even a new one – and the “have you ever done it with a boy” question would come up. Or, sometimes, the guy I was hanging with – or, sometimes, “stuck” with – would just up and ask, “Can I suck your dick?” Sometimes it wasn’t really about being horny; some guys just had some shit bothering them enough to put them in a funky mood and enough where it just seemed that the “solution” was to, at the least, suck a dick… and even if one or both guys had never done or thought about it before.

Strange how that works. It kinda makes sense that when you’re really tight with a guy – you’ve know each other for quite a bit of time and, as a result, know a great deal about each other – that at the right time and moment, a bro job will be put on the table. It’s rarely about being attracted to your bro; it’s not “being in love” or otherwise infatuated with him but he’s more than just a friend. I’ve had guys tell me that they’ve found themselves hanging with their bro and, out of the blue, they have a sudden and intense desire to suck his cock – where the fuck did that come from?

Or get shocked when the bro they thought they knew “everything” about comes out of left field and inquires about the possibility of them sucking each other off. Some guys won’t pop the question and if they do, sometimes the offer is rejected… and sometimes it’s on big time because the situation calls for it.

Oh, like being subjected to social distancing and severely limiting the people you can be around. If social distancing has cut a guy off from being able to go on a trim hunt – or, if he has a lady and she doesn’t live with him and is on the other side of town – but his bro is close by – sure, they could hang out to ease the depressing feeling of being so isolated and restricted in their ability to socialize… and I wouldn’t be surprised if the bro job card came out nor would I be surprised to find that both guys were thinking about putting the card on the table but were afraid to turn it over.

I’ve always believed that if you leave two guys to their own devices in certain situations, there’s no telling what is being thought about… and certainly no telling what might happen. I know I’ve been hanging with a guy and have felt a lot of sexual tension in the air and I’ve even been reasonably sure that I’m not the source of it but I know it and so does he. The moment passes and later the guy tells me what was on his mind at that moment – but didn’t know how to bring it up, let alone know how I would react to it. Depending on the guy, I’d either shrug it off and even act like I didn’t notice the sexual tension surrounding us… and sometimes – depending on the guy – I’d say, “Yeah, I felt it… why didn’t you just say what was on your mind? I would have been okay with it…”

They happen because, sometimes, needs must. Easier to deal with things right then and there than to wait until one’s “normal” way to relieve the pressure can be obtained, found, whatever. I don’t think it’s a thing two strangers just meeting for the first time would do unless one of the guys is, ah, more predisposed to sucking dick and the other guy is “just” a target of opportunity. If and when it happens, it tends to happen between guys who know each other – they’re bros, homies, friends, road partners – and, situationally, there’s nothing else to do, they’re stressed out in some way, or just plain and seriously horny…

And their bro is, more than likely, the one male on the planet they feel they can confide and trust. It happens. Probably happens a lot more than people might think it does and, again, sexuality isn’t always at the root of this. If there’s a WordPress blog being written about it, I haven’t seen it.

Are women subject to this phenomenon? Probably… not that you’d get them to admit it one way or the other but I’d say that theoretically, the potential is there and dependent upon how close they are. If so, the “bro job” just doesn’t happen between men but, yeah, sure – makes sense that men can be the focal point in this.

 

Top Searches: The Indecent Proposal

So, yeah, once again, Top Searches revealed a search that says, “Offer a bro job” and, well, it’s not as simple as just asking a guy if you can suck his dick… because it’s not easy to figure out what guys just might say, “Okay – let’s do it!”

Or ya might get your feelings hurt… or your jaw, eye, you know, some body part you’d rather not have experiencing pain. Guys are always asking this question and, I supposed, hoping or otherwise expecting that there’s some sure way to drop this indecent proposal on another guy and he’s gonna agree to it. That we – men – have a very long history of not dealing with rejection well doesn’t help matters any.

In the past when this bro-job thing has gotten my attention, I’ve offered that you can do one of two things: Just ask a guy if you can blow him or start the long, laborious and often hilarious process of dropping all the hints you can and hope that (a) the other guy picks up on them and (b) he says, “Yeah, suck my dick, brah!”

The funny thing is that the other guy might even be aware that you’re trying to find a way to ask him if you can blow him… and he’s not gonna let you know that he knows what you’re getting at – and whether he’s interested or not. As previously mentioned, even I have sat there and watched guys jump through all of these hoops and have not given one indication that I know what he’s asking.

The difference between myself and other guys is that, um, if I think you’re okay, chances are good you’ll be sucking my dick… after I have a few laughs at your expense. Still, it’s not that men, in general, are opposed to having their cocks sucked; for many, letting a dude blow them is a measure of last resort as well as an act of severe desperation something that should be avoided. So you could be dropping that indecent proposal on a guy and he really wouldn’t mind getting sucked off right about now… but it’s a question of whether or not the guy is willing to make such a desperate step.

While a lot of guys do not think it’s “gay” to have a dude sucking dick, well, it’s all well and good… as long as you haven’t become the object of some guy’s oral lust. Now shit gets real and in ways a lot of guys tend to think that no one would ever approach them like that and, again, the kicker is that it’s quite possible that the guy being propositioned just may have wondered what it would be like but, nah, ain’t gonna do that.

But you never really know until you find a way to pop the question… and that’s the scary part – not knowing, even if you’re asking a guy that you’re pretty sure you know very well. I’ve seen guys who “famously” rant and rave against all things homosexual treat themselves to a bro-job and while you may think this is… counterintuitive (for lack of a better word), it really isn’t because there aren’t that many men who don’t know that, push come to shove, if they need their dick sucked, there’s a guy out there who’d be more than willing to do it.

So you’d think that a guy displaying “homophobic tendencies” might not be a good person to ask… and you could be wrong about that… but there’s no way to really know… unless you ask. Conversely, you might think a guy who is… friendly in this area would be the right person to ask – except, one can be quite friendly in this regard because it makes sense to be but doesn’t mean he’s gonna pull out his cock to be sucked by the guy asking him.

I often and futilely wish that the people searching WordPress for this can read all the stuff I write about this and maybe they do – there’s no way to determine this that I know of. You’re either going to “man-up,” look at the guy you want to blow, and tell him that you want to suck his dick and why you do (and hope for the best) or you’re gonna take the indirect route by dropping hints all over the place and hope the guy catches them and is agreeable.

Or, if the thought and fear of being rejected is too great for you to deal with, don’t say anything about it and settle for spending some time jerking off and thinking about sucking your bro’s cock until he loses his load.

Have I offered them? Yep! Have I been turned down? Yep! Have I had guys say, “Well, okay, if you really want to…”? Yep! Have I dropped hints? Kinda – you gotta learn how to steer a conversation in the right direction so that you can get a peek inside the other guy’s head and then try to guess whether he’s agreeable or not. Have I used the direct approach? Sure have and as such things go, it either worked or it didn’t. I’ve even had guys say no to my indecent proposal but come back later and accept it after they’ve had a moment to think more about it.

One such guy showed up like a week after my offer and said, “Yo, um, if you still wanna suck my dick, I’m cool with it…” I’d actually forgotten we even had that conversation but I quickly remembered it… and gave him a memorable blow job… and even got one from him.

Still very much remains true that if you don’t ask, you won’t know and even if the answer is, “Oh, hell no! What’s wrong with you!?” I get the urge and need to suck dick but too many guys are just too afraid to pop the question out of fear of being rejected and, perhaps, wind up losing a friend… so I also get why guys who want to offer a bro-job are fervently looking for a way to do it that doesn’t end in rejection and loss.

And there’s no way to do it that is 100% foolproof and guaranteed to produce the desired result. It’s not merely a thing of wondering if you can even ask the guy; you have to be very sure that you can ask him if you can suck his dick – and a lot of guys aren’t sure that they can ask for what they want. It’s a kind of confidence thing that comes with being able to accept and deal with the consequences of your actions. It’s not easy to propose this, get rejected, and wind up losing a friend… and maybe have this guy put the word out on you that you like sucking cock and if you’re not prepared to accept these consequences, don’t offer a bro-job.

When this bro-job thing surfaced, I guess the thought was that guys all over the place were now offering up their dicks to be sucked and regardless to their sexuality; the truth is that bro-jobs do happen… they just don’t happen as a matter of course. I’ve heard it asked, “Why would a straight dude want another guy to suck his dick?” and, on the surface, this just doesn’t make sense, does it? However, if you think it really doesn’t, I’d suggest that you don’t know as much about men as you think you do. Again, it’s not that “Pete” wouldn’t want “Eddie” to give him a blow job – Pete’s thinking about the implications and his image more than anything else; if he went along with this, would people think he was really gay and other things along this line?

Gets really funny at this point because they automatically assume that someone else is gonna find out that Eddie sucked him off and that’s not likely to happen unless Pete or Eddie says something about it to other people… which ain’t very likely because the one condition to offering and/or accepting a bro-job is, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

It takes a certain amount of… courage to accept such an indecent proposal and when this is gonna be something very new to you and, let’s face it, not all men are courageous enough to want to. I think, however, that if the guy making the proposition can explain why he wants to suck homey’s dick and in a way that speaks to the depth of their friendship, well, that could work… maybe; you have to be able to answer the question of why home boy should let you blow him and if you can’t convince him that he’d not be making a huge mistake, well, you’re hosed.

And, sometimes, you can explain it eloquently and logically… and he might still say no. There’s no doubt in a proposer’s mind that he wants to suck that dick but there’s loads of doubt over how the proposal will be accepted and, once more, if you’re not willing to deal with the consequences of putting an indecent proposal on the table, then don’t.

And, if you’re wondering, I’ve gotten such proposals and I’ve said yes or no depending on whatever’s going on in my head about the guy asking and I will ask, “Why me?” and how that question gets answered goes a long way toward whatever decision I might make. One guy offered me one, I asked why and he responded with, “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

It was a good enough answer for me to say, “Okay…” because, if nothing else, it was an honest response. Another guy told me, “I just think you’d appreciate it…” and I did… because his answer to my question was honest. Even “I’ve always wanted to suck a dick…” is a good answer as long as I can be convinced that the sentiment is an honest one but if I don’t think it is, the answer will be, “Thanks, but no thanks – doesn’t mean we’re still not friends so don’t go thinking that, okay?”

And even I’ve been known to change my mind – but this is me and how I approach the bro-job thing and your results, if you choose to pursue this, will most certainly vary.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Wait, what?”

As usual – or typical for me – that bro job thing got stuck in my head but in terms of reacting to your boy looking at you saying, “I want to suck your dick…” or asking if it’s gonna be a problem because he wants to give you a blow job.

I think the best or worse reactions happen when the guy being asked never saw this coming – surprise! If you had any reason to think that your boy has been acting like he might want to blow you, when the proposition arrives, eh, it’s not all that surprising and because you’ve had some time to think about stuff, you’ve got your answer already prepared.

I, myself, have been totally taken by surprise when offered a bro job from someone I never expected to offer one.  I’ve been… confused in those times when a conversation with a guy goes from “the usual guy stuff” to, “Hey… have you ever wondered what it’s like to have a guy suck your cock?”

Wait, what?  How did we get on this topic?  One guy I know went from talking about his favorite football team one moment and in the next saying, “I wonder what it’s like to suck dick?”

Methinks that it’s a very different thing if you have reason to believe that your bud might be the “kind” of guy who’d put this out there; I’ve hung out with guys who have given me the impression – and a strong one – that they know their way around a dick so since this is kind of a “when, not if” situation, I’ve had time to think about how I might respond when he gets up enough nerve to put it out there.

But when you don’t see it coming, yeah – it can be quite a shock.  I even learned to really pay attention when hanging out with a guy – or guys – who’ve been hitting the sauce pretty hard; with their inhibitions gone, ain’t no telling what might come out of their mouth and, again, since I’m aware of this, I’m better prepared should the matter come up – yeah, the pun’s intended this time.  Having said that, I’ve also been quite shocked when the proposition comes from a guy who’s cronked… and he was the last person I’d suspect of having that level of inhibition removal.

For the guy making the proposition, well, I’ve seen them make bad decisions and usually with someone they thought they knew well enough – or trusted enough – to offer up a bro job… only to find out they guessed wrongly and really didn’t know the other guy as well as he thought… and the other guy didn’t take the proposition well at all.

The thing is that you just don’t know whether a guy is going to accept… or maybe punch your lights out… which is probably why I keep seeing this come up in my Top Searches so much and, as far as I know, there’s no sure-fire way to offer one and no guarantee that the offer will be graciously, happily, and eagerly accepted.

You can’t really take what a guy might say about this as a true matter of fact; I know of too many guys who have gone off the rails against anything M2M and to anyone who wants to be bothered to hear it… but in a one-on-one situation?  They just might hurt themselves getting their dick out to be sucked under the “I won’t tell if you won’t” rule.  I figured that if there are ten guys talking about this, whoever is protesting too much is likely to give up the dick when asked for it – privately, of course – but there’s always that one guy who’s protesting and he’s very serious about not feeling any of that.

A guy I know once asked me an interesting question.  He didn’t ask me what I would do or say if offered a blow job – he asked me what would go through my mind upon hearing the offer… and my brain kinda locked up.  Not because I didn’t know the answer – it was because I know how I am and all of the shit I can think about and so much that it’s like an information overload that’ll just put my noodle in neutral.  What I did say to him was, “I really can’t say – there’s a lot of shit I’d have to think about.”

“Fair enough,” he said… then asked me if he could suck my dick.

Wait, what?  And to make matters worse, he’s sitting there patiently waiting for me to answer him.  If I had – or could – put a number to it, I must have thought of a couple of hundred (or more) things and while I wasn’t feeling pressured to answer quickly, I reasoned that I only had, oh, maybe, thirty seconds at the most and at best to answer one way or the other… and it didn’t help my thinking to notice his dick was hard… and it didn’t help that I even looked to see if he was.

Sometimes, ya just say, “Fuck it…” and accept the offer – then hope you made the right decision… or sometimes you turn it down and wind up kicking your own ass for doing so.

I still think it’s hilarious to watch a guy go through some shit trying to figure out the best way to pop the question, even when, when he starts trying to put it into words, I’m thinking, “Wait, what? Why are we talking about this? Uh oh…” Now, it could be that this conversation has come up not because he wanted to blow me… but he has his sights on someone else and I’m just a sounding board or even a “crash-test dummy,” someone he can “use” to get the right words to come out.

I’ve seen guys react to having been offered one and, sometimes, that can be just as funny when they say, “Yo, lemme tell you what “Jackie” asked me the other day! Can you believe he asked me if he could suck my dick?”

Depends on whether or not I knew the guy in question; maybe I do believe it, maybe I don’t… but their reaction is still funny and gets even funnier when I ask, “Well, what did you say? Nah, I ain’t saying anything bad about you or whatever – I just wanna know what you said, you know, in case I run into him.”

Let the games begin. He’s had that, “Wait, what?” moment and hearing all about it, well, let’s say it’s hard for me to keep a straight face. What I am wondering, though, is whether he said yes… even when he said no – because, well, some guys are like that because image/rep is everything.

Gets even better when the guy asks me, “Do you think I should have let him do it?” Now, he could have said no but at this point, is having second thoughts about it… or he let it happen but is trying to make me believe he didn’t. Doesn’t matter – it’s still pretty funny and I’m not beyond saying, “I really can’t say if you should have or not – what do you really think about that?”

Yeah… not helping. Funnier still is when they try to turn it around and ask me, “Well, what would you have done or said?”

Still not helping when I say, “I don’t know…” or, “Hey, wait – he didn’t ask me! He asked you! How’d I get all up in this?”

All humor aside, bro jobs happen; make no mistake about this. I just decided to write about reactions, both good and bad and being in that “Wait, what?” moment because it’s always funny when it happens to someone else; might not be that funny when it happens to you.

 

Top Searches: “Giving Brojob”

No, couldn’t ignore this one and my first thought was, “Are they serious? Who doesn’t know how to suck a dick?”

But, yep, I had to retract that first thought because I know there are guys who really don’t know how to suck a dick… and even if they’ve ever seen it done.

Wow… what a glaring disconnect… but, okay, first, ya gotta want to give one, then get the other guy to agree to receiving one. Take his dick out; put it in your mouth; imitate whatever you’ve seen about blow jobs, whether it was being done to you or you saw it in some porn flick. Keep doing it until he says he’s gonna cum and very quickly decide to let him cum in your mouth, you’re gonna swallow it, spit it out, or remove yourself from the dick as to avoid having to swallow it, taste it, or wind up spitting it out.

There – you just gave a brojob and, hopefully, the bro you gave it to is happy that you did!

Sound easy? It really isn’t for those who have never sucked a dick before. Brojobs appear to be difficult for those who have, um, prior experience but the difficulty isn’t in the doing – it’s getting the other guy to agree to receiving one and more so if you don’t know that he would be or, gasp, you thought that he would be and you thought wrongly.

Shit, giving one is easier even when you gotta figure that out on the fly…

Am I “surprised” by such searches? Nah, not really – but they do amuse the shit out of me but it’s also… kinda cool that there are maybe guys who wanna find out what it’s like to suck dick and while there are guys who’d tell you that such a thought has never, ever crossed their mind, well, I know that it can since I’ve talked to a lot of guys who have said that they’ve wondered what it would be like… not that they’d actually do it, mind you.

Uh-huh. Sure you wouldn’t. We’ve just been talking about this for the last hour because we can’t find anything else to talk about, right? No – I believe you (no, I really don’t but you don’t need to know that)! Yeah, you can be curious about it without really finding out – who says you have to do it (but I’m thinking that you really want to – but you don’t need to know that, either)?

And it’s always funny to listen to these guys go from “I’d never do that shit” to coming up with many scenarios that would find them with a hard dick in their mouth and/or a mouth around their own woody. I’ve almost hurt myself trying not to laugh listening to guys who have “a friend” that asked them about it and they’re trying to get an answer for “their friend.”

Really? No, no – I believe your friend asked you about it (no, I don’t) – I’m just surprised you’re asking me about it and that “your friend” asked you to find out and you didn’t get all medieval on his ass for having the nerve to ask you, that’s all. What makes you think I know the answer (I do… but you don’t need to know that)?

Huh? How do you find the answer? Well, truthfully, I’d say that if you can’t find someone to give you the answer, um, you’d probably have to do it yourself – it’s the surest way to get the question answered, you know, not that you’d really do that, right (and I can see in your eyes that you’re thinking about doing just that)? Although, it doesn’t make sense to me that you’d be willing to put yourself through something like that just to answer “a friend’s” question – y’all must be some really good and close friends, huh?

It’s hilarious to sit, watch, and listen to guys doing this and, yes, they really do even if they’d deny it. I know what’s on their mind and why it is and while they’re going through this comedy routine, I’m thinking about whether or not I wanna be involved or not and, no, I’m not beyond fucking with them by saying something like, “Why are we talking about this?” or, sometimes, “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Oh, such fun with a matter that is really a serious one for the guy who is looking for his first oral sex experience with another guy. I don’t and won’t get serious unless he does but until he does, why shouldn’t I have some fun at his expense as he flounders around like that fish out of water instead of just putting the proposition out there?

Okay, I said something about this – again – and I’m all better now, thanks.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Balls of Blue

The pain was incredible and appeared out of nowhere; one moment, my friend and I were talking about what kind of mischief we could get into on this fine, summer day… and the next, wow, jeez, this really hurts – why is it hurting down there?

My friend looks at me, alarm on his face and he can see the pained and confused look on my face and starts asking me what’s wrong; this… whatever it is, hurts so much I can’t talk – it’s taking every ounce of my will to keep breathing and not start trying. He asked me where it hurt and, unable to speak, grab my crotch – gently because, as I just found out, moving makes it hurt even more.

“Oh, okay,” he says before yanking down my shorts and underwear, getting on his knees, and sucking my dick into his mouth. The pain was getting worse but, wait, is it easing up some? I’m standing there with my friend blowing me as if my life depended on it… and it sure as hell felt like it. It started to feel good, slowly but surely replacing the indescribable pain in my groin; I could breathe again, still couldn’t form words outside of my mind and just as I felt my body relaxing, one last sharp spike of pain hit me, only to be quickly replaced by that really good but weird feeling of shooting my stuff.

The pain was gone. For a moment, I wondered if it had even been real as my friend stood up, licking his lips and smiling as if he’d just done something miraculous and I supposed that he did.

“You had blue balls,” he said, reaching down and cupping my balls. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah,” I said with a puzzled look on my face. I know what my balls are but given my complexion, uh, how can they turn blue?

“Good. You just needed to shoot some stuff,” he said wisely – and wisely for a guy who was only a month older than I was. “Hmm… my balls kinda hurt now…”

I was more than happy to make his balls stop hurting – and if they were really hurting – like he made mine stop hurting and he seemed to be just as grateful as I had been.

Blue balls. The one thing that can happen to a guy that feels as bad – or worse – than getting whacked in the nuts. Kinda in my defense, I’d heard older guys talking about blue balls and how they seemed to turn blue if they wanted to get some nookie but that didn’t happen. I remembered how all the guys who knew about this would grimace and, yeah, just like they all got kicked in the nads – then start laughing about it. My first experience with this… condition, when it hit me, totally disconnected things in my head – acute pain will do that fairly easily. Now, I can say that I didn’t feel like I needed to do the nasty before that incredible pain landed on me like a freight train but what my friend did – an early version of a bro job – was what the “doctor” ordered.

I investigated this blue balls thing; think of it as “backed up pipes” for simplicity’s sake and the reason they call it blue balls is because when this… backup of blood happens to white guys, wow, their balls really turn an interesting blue color.

Who knew? Later, I learned that one can relieve a case of blue balls – and one that usually happens when one gets sexually excited and, um, nothing happens – by jerking off to clean the pipes out (and if you’re wondering how that plumbing phrase made into the sexual lexicon) but since that was supposed to make you go blind and grow hair on the palms of your hand, well, okay – if you were hanging out with a male friend and a case of blue balls was upon you, for immediate and welcome relief – and if you can – ask the guy with you if he would help you.

Now, um, sometimes, if you did ask him for help and he wasn’t of a mind to assist you, he’d just look at you with sympathy and pretty much tell you that you’re on your own and good luck with that. But, yeah, sometimes the guy you’re with has had some experience with blue balls, knows how painful it is and it’s just an act of mercy to get you somewhere private and give you an “emergency blow job” to ease your pain… and more so if he knows that you’d do the same for him, you know, being good friends and all that.

Wasn’t a big deal, didn’t mean you were gay or anything like that but among friends, just an act of kindness and mercy… and provided ya didn’t tell anyone how you got rid of your case of blue balls. Now, if you were hanging out with him again and managed to have another painful attack of blue balls, maybe he helps, maybe he doesn’t and that all depends on how he felt about helping you that first time and, um, how you may have shown your gratitude for his timely aid when you, er, um, made sure that he wouldn’t come down with a badly aching pair of balls.

I don’t think I could really put a number to the times I’d come to a guy’s aid when his balls were blue but, sure, I wouldn’t let a guy suffer with this even if we weren’t really friends. I was at the YMCA one day, fresh out of the pool after doing a mile of laps (25 laps, if you’re wondering) when a guy who was either getting undressed for something – or getting redressed – suddenly doubled over, groaning in pain and holding his nuts as if some invisible person had just hauled off and punted his balls. I knew immediately what was wrong; homey was sweating profusely, his face flushed a really odd red-purple color and of course I asked him if he as okay even though I knew, from experience, what was wrong with him.

His eyes were wild-looking; sweat was pouring down his face like he was in the shower and his whole body was shaking from the painful intensity. There wasn’t anyone else in the locker room so I went over to him and took a peek in his underwear and, sure enough, his balls were a pretty shade of blue.

“I can fix that,” I said gently as I pulled his underwear down and slurped his cock into my mouth and as he vainly tried to ask me, I think, what the hell was I doing. After a few and well-placed and time deep sucks, he unloaded in my mouth and like his pipes had been clogged up for a month – boy, did he ever put a lot of sperm in my mouth and so much I almost couldn’t keep up with it!

I looked up at him as his dick was slowing some really intense pumping; his color was better, he wasn’t sweating as much and, as I released him, I took a peek at his nuts and they were back to being a healthy, pinkish color. I stood up and pulled his underwear back up – and just in time as some guys were coming into the locker room. The guy I had “rescued” was still kinda shaky, looking a bit dazed as he followed me back to where my locker was and whispered both his thanks as well as his… consternation over how he got relieved of a major case of blue balls because, hey, he wasn’t that kind of guy.

I just looked at him and in a way that asked him, “Would you have rather kept dealing with that pain?” I guess he interpreted my look precisely, looked a bit sheepish, and said, “Thanks, man – I owe you one!” before going back to his locker.

Just one of many examples of how some bro-jobs happen. You feel that ache beginning and I don’t know which is worse – having a bad case of blue balls or having a toothache and while you can’t always get some seriously and immediate pain relief from a toothache, to make a case of very painful blue balls go away, you need to bust a nut and the sooner, the better. If you’re alone, it’s time to choke the daylights out of the chicken; if you have a your lady nearby – and if she’s willing to help you – screw her or, if she’s of a mind to, get her to blow you if, you know, she even cares that you’re experiencing that kind of excruciating, mind-numbing pain.

If you’re with your bro and you think the two of you are really good friends, sure, you can whip it out in front of him (and provided you’re not in some public place, of course), apologize for giving him something he can’t un-see, and get yourself off… or you can brave asking him to get you off since there are times when this comes on so suddenly and painfully you can’t help yourself. If he’s that good of a friend, maybe he helps you out… or leaves you to suffer with it but, still, it’s one of those situations where a bro-job is called for and one that, if you were previously not of a mind to be sucking some dude’s dick, you’d sure as hell make an exception if he came to your aid and played with your dick so you could cum and get those pipes cleared out.

Sometimes, just saying, “Thanks, man – ya saved my ass!” ain’t good enough or doesn’t really express your profound gratitude. I’ve aided in blue ball relief and have told the other guy that his thanks is thanks enough and no reciprocation is needed or required… which hasn’t stopped some guys from wanting to express their gratitude in a similar way… and, a few times, it would be their first experience with sucking cock either way.

Because you’d do anything to make your nuts stop hurting. I’ve seen and heard of guys curling up in the fetal position and crying like babies; I’ve seen this pain hit guys so hard and fast, they sometimes vomit or they drop as if poleaxed, their legs just refusing to hold them up and now it’s decision time: Do you do the one thing you know will ease his horrific pain… or do you just stand there and watch him suffer and when you probably know what he’s feeling?

At the very least, you offer some relief and if he accepts it, fine but if he doesn’t, well, hmm, okay – at least I offered and maybe the next time you have this happen and we’re together, you might reconsider… provided you make it through the terrible pain this time.

Sometimes, a bro-job isn’t about just being horny and wanting to take care of that immediately if not sooner; sometimes, it is an act of kindness and mercy if you do, in fact, know what that feels like; it really does, at times, become a question of, “What would you do to help a friend in dire need of release?”

From the “guys can be hilarious” department, I’ve been hanging out with a guy and have heard him change the subject of whatever we were talking about by saying, “Damn… my nuts are starting to hurt!” In my mind, that’s code for, “You know, if you were to give me a blow job, I’d be okay with that.” Depending on the guy – and if his nuts are really hurting and with severity (and sometimes, his balls are just fine, as it turns out) – I’d at least think about offering a bro-job if I determine his case of blue balls is valid but if he’s just being clumsy about wanting me to suck his dick, sure, I’ll stand or sit there and watch him fake an extreme case of blue balls because if nothing else, it’ll be entertaining.

I even told a guy once, after a stellar performance, “I’ll send you an Oscar later… but if you wanted me to suck you off, why didn’t you just ask?”

“You might have said no,” he replied, looking all cheesy.

“I might have said yes,” I said.

“Um, would you?” he asked.

And I did… because his Oscar winning performance was really pretty good if I might say so myself and had to be rewarded. I also found out that he was pretty good at sucking dick, too, something I hadn’t known about him before his award-winning acting.

“Next time, just ask,” I said after we drained each other dry. He at least had the good sense to look embarrassed after trying to bullshit me and failing.

Even if you’re an avid cock sucker like I am, you don’t just jump in there and do something about the other guy’s painful predicament; you have to do some triage and assess the situation, take the guy having this insane pain into consideration and determine if easing his pain is worth him finding out something about you that, under ordinary circumstance, you’d rather not let a whole lot of people know.

But how far would you go to help a friend who’s clearly suffering from a major attack of blue balls? Will it fix itself? Eh, sometimes it does but even in my blue ball moments, fuck – that pain just keeps getting worse the longer you let it go unattended. To my “shame” and perhaps “dishonor,” I have sat or stood and watched guys suffer with this and it doesn’t feel good to do this when I know I can help him manually or orally… but I also know that helping him would create an even bigger problem than his poor nuts being all painfully swollen. We’re friends… just not that close as friends, sorry about that – hope you get that taken care of soon.

A bro-job can happen due to being seriously horny; under extreme emotional distress and duress, and even when one is under the influence of whatever hair of the dog that bit them… but sometimes, they can happen because the pain of blue balls is just too much to deal with and waiting any longer than you want to in order to make that pain go away just ain’t gonna work.

What would you do?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts and Top Searches: What… Again?

Scanning my Desktop, noting what’s been looked at since yesterday and then, damn, this:

“How to ask if someone wants a bro job.”

First thought:  What, again?

Second thought:  Did the person searching for this find the blogs I wrote about this when they searched?

Third thought:  Man, I wish there was a way to find out who’s searching for stuff so bloggers could respond to them if they wanted to…

Asking a guy if he wants to get bro-jobbed all depends on whether or not you have a clue that he’d be down for it and unless he said that he wouldn’t mind having some dude suck his dick and get him off, chances are you’re not gonna know.  Still, this is turning out to be one of my favorite “searches” other than intercrural sex – that’s fucking without penetration, to save any new readers from rushing to find out what the word means.

You can’t really go on what a guy might say so a guy in need of a bro-job could very well be dropping hints like hot potatoes and it’s not all that obvious that he’s dropping hints.  Even when you’ve known a, ah, potential bro-job candidate for a long period of time, that’s not a guarantee that if asked, he’s gonna just jump on the invitation and whip out his schlong.

As I’ve written before, I’ve heard guys going on and on about needing to have their dick sucked and their aching nuts emptied; are they just stating a matter of fact or are they dropping a hint?  Could be one or the other… could be both, too, and unless you ask him to be more specific, you’re not gonna know which thing he’s really doing… except, um, asking him, “Are you asking if I’d suck you off?” is a really touchy question to ask, wouldn’t you agree?  And, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve actually asked such “direct” questions in response to what I felt were hints, like, “Why are you telling me about it?” or even agreeing that, yup, having my dick sucked right about now would really work… then kinda sit back and watch how they react and wait for what they might say next – and if they say anything at all.

The real conundrum here isn’t figuring out if a guy would be down for it – that would be asking a guy you think might be in need of one and without, let’s say, something bad and/or embarrassing happening.  So how do you ask someone if they want a bro-job?  Very carefully.

You just don’t know how a guy will react.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: I Tried to Resist, But…

…I couldn’t, not when I saw on my Dashboard, “how to know when a guy wants a brojob.”

Still, it’s a legit question and the only thing I can point back to was the many times I’ve seen guys doing everything they could to get the hint across that, um, you know, if we were to, uh, suck each other’s cock, er, ah, I wouldn’t mind and I sure won’t tell anyone that we did this.  Lemme see if I can (once again) dissect this.

Are there any external signs that a guy might want a bro job?  Other than sneaking peeks at his crotch to see if he’s hard or not, you’d have to be knowledgeable in the art of reading body language and being able to listen to how a guy is saying something and not necessarily what he’s saying although that can be a clue as well.  While these things are and can be rather telling, before one puts such a suggestion on the table, one must remember that what you see or hear isn’t always what’s really going on.

Some of trying to figure this out depends on the situation at hand – what are the two guys doing and/or talking about?  See, back in the day, it wasn’t unusual for guys to get together to just hang out and gossip – yes, women aren’t the only ones who do this.  Now it’s a matter of whether or not the conversation migrates to things sexual or not and, at least in my experiences, it wasn’t ever a question of if a conversation would make that turn but when it would.

For me, that’s when things got to be rather funny.  If you’re paying attention to the other guy, again, his body language and a certain change in the pattern of his speech can, at the least, tell you that he’s horny and wants to do something about it.  Some guys fidget – they can’t seem to sit still and I’ve heard some guys say, out of the blue and totally unrelated to the conversation of the moment, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”

What you don’t know is whether he’s actually hinting that the two of you should do this or he’s really thinking about how he can convince a woman to suck his dick.  Likewise, I’ve been in conversations where a guy will, again, out of the blue and totally disconnected from, say, talking about football, “What would you do if some dude asked if he could suck your dick?”

Some guys are just fucking hilarious when trying to drop hints and just as funny are the guys who sense where this conversation is going… but are on the fence about whether they should offer up their own thoughts on whatever funny question was asked.  For me, sheesh, such conversations and these hilarious twists would be… annoying; I’d be talking to a guy, the conversation gets “sexy,” and he’s dropping hints all over the place and as he does so, I’m thinking to myself, “Why don’t you just come out and tell me what you wanna do?  Jeez!”

So when a guy dropped the “I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked” thing, I’d just ask them, “What’s on your mind about it?” or sometimes I’d even say, “Yeah, that would work for me, too!” – and then watch them – again, their body language can be quite telling if you know what to look for.

To the question of, “What would you do if…?” I’d often take a moment to think about the guy I’m talking to and what I already know about him before answering in one of two ways:  If a guy wanted to suck my dick, sure, I’d let him do it or, if I’m pretty sure or have a good sense that this answer would, ah, offend him, I’d backpedal and answer with, “I don’t know what I’d do…”  And many times, I’ve learned that what I thought I knew about a guy wasn’t all there was to be learned about him, i.e., he’s usually pretty vocal and against guys doing it to other guys… but, secretly, he’s either done it before or is now looking to take the plunge.

Then, with either response, I’d watch his body language and if he appears to be disappointed or even “encouraged,” well, he could be suggesting that the two of us whip out our dicks and work toward making them very soft again.

Once, a guy was tap-dancing all around the place and it actually got on my nerves enough for me to say to him, “Why don’t you just ask me what you want to ask me and stop dancing around all over the place?”  Sometimes, one can be intuitive enough to sense a change in the mood and pick up on the fact that whatever machinations the other guy is going through really means that if you were to agree, it would be nice for us to suck on each other’s dick until we both cum.

And I won’t tell if you won’t.

You just know this is what he wants to ask and do should you be of a mind to agree – and now it’s just a matter of whether or not he’s gonna be brave enough to just put it out there.

Some guys disguise their, ah, desire for this with roughhousing; if a guy “suddenly” suggests that we should wrestle or otherwise initiates some light roughhousing, well, that could be a rather physical hint that he just might want some more, um, personal body to body contact.  The thing that always struck me as being hilarious was that most of the guys I hung out with knew I had a black belt in judo and they’d still want to wrestle and now for me it was a matter of being observant enough to be able to feel his erection as we tussled.  Or, like one guys did during one roughhouse session, um, he planted his face in my crotch and lightly gnawed on me; on the surface – and if you had been watching this, it looked like he was trying to distract me as I had applied a light arm lock, you know, to “shock” me into releasing the arm lock (not that I was really gonna hurt his arm).

I felt the… nibbles and just said to him, “If that’s what you want to do, ya might want to unzip me first – pretty sure my pants don’t taste all that good…”

His response?  “You’ll have to let go of my arm first…”

On the whole, there’s really no sure, definitive way to know if a guy wants to get into a bro job unless he either does or say something that leaves no doubt in your mind that this is what he really wants to do.  Again, sometimes what he says can be an indication and more so if he’s asking or talking about something that’s unrelated to whatever preceded this change in the conversation.  If a guy seems to be down in the mouth about something – girl problems, some shit going on with his job or even the frustration over not being able to get a job – and a few other things, it’s just kinda strange that when guys get stressed to a certain degree, sex just seems to be the right thing to relieve that stress and, sure, if some intoxicants are involved, well, there’s no telling what his lowered inhibitions are going to reveal.

Sure, if you sense that things are heading in this direction, you could just simply ask him, “Why are we talking about this?” or even “What is it that you really want to do?” while keeping in mind that he might be “offended” and start backpedaling.  Guys talk to each other about sex even if in rather general terms and a general sort of way; doesn’t mean he’s fishing for a bro job… and it could mean that he is and now it’s up to you to figure out what’s really on his mind and short of asking him directly, there’s still no dyed-in-the-wool to know or tell that he’s interested in a bro job unless, of course, he’s bold and daring enough to come right out and ask you – and some guys won’t because, as everyone knows (or should know), we don’t exactly handle rejection very well.

I’ve had guys ask me how they can ask another guy if they can blow them and without getting punched in the face and I’ve honestly told them that you just get up the nerve to ask them and be ready to deal with however the other guy reacts and even if he reacts badly to such an offer.

And, yes:  I’ve had guys ask me how they can ask another guy if they can suck his dick… and I’ve been the guy they wanted to ask and, yep, I’ve been taken by surprise by such a twist and usually because I just learned something about this guy that I didn’t know.

Guys can be direct and right to the point about wanting to do this… or they can drop hints, tap dance, and other rather funny things trying to get up the nerve and to the point where what they want to do, right here and now, is to get some cock sucking going.  I’ve sat and watched guys go through all of this and stop short of actually putting the suggestion on the table… then, the next time I’ve been hanging with them, they happen to mention that, um, you know, the other day?  I really wanted to suck your dick and was hoping you wouldn’t mind sucking mine…

And the only thing I could say in response was, “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

And that’s really the only way to really know if a guy wants a bro job – just ask him if that’s what he wants to do as well as deciding whether or not you, too, want to do this.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It a Coincidence…

…that the scribble that’s been at the top of my “most read” list continues to be the one about asking for a bro job? Now, I’m not a stats fiend; I look at them because they’re there but even I don’t fail to notice which of my scribbles seems to be getting a lot of reads and whenever it’s being read… and even if I don’t know who’s reading it.

I saw this again today during my routine WordPress check and I kinda laughed to myself while wondering about who’s been reading this and why… and if the subject of guys going down on each other is kinda/sorta fascinating and more so if, as assumed, the guys blowing each other into orgasmic bliss are really straight.

It’s usually a hot topic of discussion in the bi guy forum and usually along the lines of how one can, ahem, provide a bro with some oral pleasure and not wind up losing said bro as a friend.

As I thought about scribbling this, I thought that, on the surface, the notion that guys give each other blow jobs isn’t really seen as being all that unusual – no big and dirty secret that men love cock sucking and as much as they like being sucked… but it goes back to the premise that if a bro job happens, it happens between two reportedly straight guys and the “interest” is due to how incongruent this appears to be.

If a guy is straight, why in the world would he want to get into a cock sucking contest with another straight guy? In some of the stuff I’ve read that others have written, wow, the authors are ascribing a great many things to this “odd” behavior, up to and including latent bi- or homosexuality and, I think, missing out on the real reason.

Um, sucking cock and being sucked feels good and, sure, it’s a bit of a thrill to take conventional thinking in this and turn it on its head and thumbing one’s nose at the ages-old taboo. Indeed, Cityman and I were talking about this last night and along the lines of how many guys have, even for the briefest of moments, wondered what it would be like to be engaged in some cock sucking with another guy.

Doesn’t mean the guy is gonna dash out and find out first-hand… but some guys do. We can get all into that “I’m not gay!” stuff which can be a concern for a lot of guys but what’s becoming a tad bit “obvious” is that you don’t have to be gay or even bi to suck a cock or to be sucked by another horny dude.

It’s important to point out that thinking and doing aren’t the same things and that even if a guy decides that doing some shit like this is something he’d never do, uh, he still thought about it, didn’t he? Some guys learn that one should never say never; they learn that, say, right this very moment, they couldn’t imagine themselves wanting to be a part of this and, as such, assume that it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen somewhere down the road. Some guys find that down the road never happens… and some guys get quite surprised to find themselves engaging in the one thing they said they’d never do.

And then discover that they like doing it… and now they’re wondering why they never did it before. Sexuality, such as it is, isn’t always a deciding or determining factor… but answering the question of what one is willing to endure to not be horny and dealing with aching balls is. Sure, it helps if a guy is already down with cock sucking but at the end of the day, that’s a gravy kind of thing.

While many men know what it’s like to be sucked, there’s still those two other questions that may or may not need answering: What’s it like to have a dude do it… and what’s it like to be the one doing it? The facts of the matter are that, sure, some guys get the answers to those particular questions as well as another question that just might pop into their head: If I did this, does it make me gay?

Imagine their surprise to discover that getting jiggly in a 69 with a bro didn’t do anything other than provide some much needed sexual release! Not only did it not kill them, it didn’t make them gay at all. Outside of maybe feeling a bit guilty which, by the way, is a normal reaction that’s not easy to get over, all that really happened was, uh, they got their dick sucked and maybe even found out what it’s like to suck a dick.

And life goes on. Now, about the “gay thing.”

Yes, this has been in the purview of gay men since like forever and, as such, we equate this as being a gay thing to do… but being gay is a state of mind and self identification that happens to go along with the act… but the act actually doesn’t define gayness in that sense; thus, you can’t “catch” being gay like you can catch a cold. So, sure, cock sucking is and always has been a “gay” thing to do…

But you don’t have to be gay to do it and, apparently, you don’t even have to be bisexual, either – you just gotta be bold and daring enough or, yeah, horny enough and at your wit’s end to experience this and if “I won’t tell if you won’t” is invoked and upheld, so much the better, huh?

And I’m thinking that what I wrote about this is still sitting at the top of heap could be that whoever’s reading it understands this even at a high level. Could the readers be guys? Could be… and the readers could also be women who are, at the least, curious about why two guys would want to suck each other’s cock in the first place.

I just find it interesting to see that this particular scribble is being read a lot. What does it mean? Damned if I know; I just know that bro jobs aren’t something new I Dee the sun – it’s just an aspect of male behavior that’s just now coming to the surface. One can assign any “motive” they care to where guys doing this is concerned; we – society – can question their sexuality until the cows come home.

What we shouldn’t overlook or discount is that regardless to sexuality, sucking cock and having your cock feels pretty damned good is a good reason for a bro job to jump off; sometimes, the simplest answer is the best answer. It’s not that two straight dudes are really gay or bi or even want to be… but, um, other than fucking, getting your dick sucked is a good and fun thing to do and, as many guys tend to learn, being the one sucking that dick can be just as much fun.

And, bro, I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Debate Continues

As the title indicates, the discussion about bro-jobs is heating up and it’s sliding in the direction of how they don’t happen.  Now, this discussion might seem out-of-place among bisexual and bi-curious guys because one could think that if homey is bi or curios, if a bro-job opportunity came along, at least one guy wouldn’t have any objections; indeed, some guys have said that if their bro asked for one, that works and more so for the guys who are still looking for someone they can have oral sex with for the first time.

I’ve allowed that it makes sense that if a bro-job is needed to cement a bond, as an act of compassion, or just to keep a friend from having a painful case of blue balls, let it happen and have fun… except it’s not that easy because as much as a dude might want to offer/accept a bro-job, his image becomes an all-important factor.  There are, no doubt, guys who wouldn’t object to a bro-job except there’s the whole “Is it gay?” thing to contend with and that alone is enough to stop a bro-job from ever happening and it’s the same thing that also happens to keep guys eager to take the plunge sitting on the side of the pool and comes in the form of a question (and is tacked onto the question of being gay):

“What if someone finds out that I did this?”

It’s not as if this isn’t a legitimate concern for some guys but for the most part, it’s a paranoid one that will make most guys overlook something, namely, there are only two ways someone is gonna find out that you and your bro sucked each other’s dick and that’s if you happen to get caught doing it or one of you tells someone else.  Otherwise, how would anyone know that this went down?  Now, some guys throw it down and are worried about it being found out and that can affect their behavior to the point where someone can look at them and tell that something ain’t quite right with them and could generate a question like, “Dude, are you okay?  Ya look like something’s bothering you!”  It’s not like a guy facing this question is gonna answer it honestly; it’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m good – I was just thinking about something but it’s no big deal…” and then hope that the inquirer doesn’t press the issue.

Add on to this the original question:  “Is it gay?”  Well, um, yeah, the act itself between men is related to homosexual sexual behavior but also true is that not all men who suck cock (or are sucked by men) are gay… but you can see the direction one’s thoughts can move in.  I have seen guys dance all around this question by saying things like, “Well, if we do it but we don’t cum in each other’s mouth, then it’s not gay!”  If you think this sounds cock-eyed, just remember I’ve told you that if you think women are funny about things sexual, guys can be even funnier.  But while the two guys contemplating a bro-job can convince themselves that it’s true (and it isn’t by current definitions), another thing that gets thought can make sure that the hypothetical bro-job never happens, namely (and loosely), will the other guy think I’m gay because I wanna do this?

And this is despite both guys saying right up front, “You know I’m not gay, right?” and the “typical” response is usually along the lines of, “Yeah, but…” right along with, “Neither am I!” and the “but” is kinda implied.  But a guy caught between having this need taken care of and considering the impact on his self-image, will usually lean toward protecting his self-image.  Again, the logic of the situation can make perfectly good sense… but the emotional things will almost always trump and defeat logic.  Some guys are just very much afraid that exchanging blow jobs with any guy is gonna make them instantly gay – and this doesn’t include all those guys out there who think such an act is an abomination to begin with and they’re not included in this scribble simply because we know they’re out there.

One of the things about this is not only what goes through a guy’s mind if/when this situation appears, but the amount of stuff they’re thinking about in a relatively short period of time.  Because these things tend to happen spontaneously, guys find themselves faced with a decision:  Yea or dude, you can’t be serious!  And in the space of time it takes them to accept or reject, they’ve thought about all the implications I’ve mentioned and many more that I haven’t even said anything about and I’m talking about fractions of seconds.  Now the thought process can be extended into minutes because few guys are gonna come right out and ask for a bro-job; like I said before, they’re gonna tap dance all around asking the important question by dropping a lot of hints and beginning with, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”  On the surface, it could be just wishful thinking… and it could be the opening statement that, hopefully, will get this thing to jump off.  During such discourse, both guys are weighing the pros and cons something fierce; the need is there but is the need greater than the implications?

I’ve been in those moments and have sat and watched guys think this through and it’s both fascinating to watch as much as it can be pretty funny as human nature wars with social programming; I’ve seen guy decide that while it would be nice, it’s not worth being worried about someone finding out or confusing him about his sexuality – and keep in mind that this is them thinking about asking me about this and not me asking them.  Depending on a guy’s emotional state at the time and as well as his current state of sobriety, there’s really no telling what he’s gonna say; even if he were to launch into a “hypothetical” situation, all that really means is that he’s still weighing the pros and cons and requires more input, like – and this is an actual thing I’ve heard – “What would you do if someone asked you to suck their dick?” or “If some dude wanted to blow you, would you let him do it?”  Depending who I’m talking to – and this is an important consideration – I may or may not answer either of the questions… but with certain guys, I’m not beyond fucking with them by saying something like, “I dunno… maybe – it depends.  What would you do?”

Sometimes the matter is dropped because my response – or lack of one – isn’t the one they were expecting and now the prospect is deemed to be too much of a hassle because the other consideration that goes through a guy’s mind is, simply, if we do this, what’s gonna happen to our friendship?  I’ve come across guys who found themselves in a bro-job moment with someone else, they said thanks but no thanks, and the friendship got shut down permanently because their sensibilities were greatly offended.  So while bro-jobs do happen – some guys just decide to go for it and worry about any fallout later – a lot of times, they just don’t happen and while there may be those who feel that if it needs to be done, just do it, this isn’t even as easy as it may appear to be – always keep in mind that guys are more worried about their image than they are anything else.  I’ve heard guys say that they were tempted to go for it… but they didn’t; some actually voiced some regret over not doing it but once the moment has passed, there’s usually no going back to it unless in the rare occasion situation that the other guy has, in the intervening time, decided that giving it a shot isn’t going to fuck things up.

Is this really a sexuality issue?  Depends on the guys involved at that moment but bro-jobs are reportedly between straight men whose sexuality isn’t in question and because this demographic segment is being highlighted, sure, questioning the sexuality of any straight guy willing to get into this seems to be appropriate because, as Oceanswater said in some of her comments yesterday, if a guy is willing to do this, he must be into guys – so why not just admit it and do what you gotta do?  This does, in fact, make sense… except a bro-job can happen and there’s no being into guys anywhere in the picture; it’s just guys being opportunistic if nothing else.  Things have to line up at the right time and in the right way as well as with the right person.  I don’t know how many times I’ve been totally surprised by guys putting a bro-job offer out there; you think you know your friends and know them well but something like this?  If homey is buzzed out of his mind at the time, okay, maybe I’m not all that surprised because I do know how booze can play into this… but still!  Who knew home boy could have a couple of drinks and this thing surfaces?  I’ve had guys come right out and say that if we were to do this, it would make them feel so much better (and about whatever’s bothering them)… and in that short space of time I’ve found myself thinking that I had no idea that he’d even consider asking such a question…

Then again, a bro-job is nothing if not a trust issue.  In hypothetical discussions, I’ve allowed that, no, I wouldn’t say you were gay if you “all of a sudden” wanted something like this to happen – and it’s the truth… but I know that you don’t have to be gay to do this.  The trust isn’t about whether or not a good blow job is gonna be given – the trust is all about whether or not this thing can go down and no one else finds out that it did and when they don’t happen, it’s because the trust isn’t there even when the guy you’re talking to about this is a long-time friend.  You’d trust him with your life if the two of you were on the road and he’s driving… but that’s not enough trust to allow a bro-job to happen, purposely or otherwise.  As mentioned and if nothing else, it’s one sure way to find out just how well you think you know someone and you usually discover that you don’t know them as well as you thought you did.

This is such an interesting topic.  Do bro-jobs happen?  Yes, they do.  Are they always between straight guys?  No, they are not.  Is this really a sexuality issue?  No, not always; as described, bro-jobs don’t seem to include the fact that a lot of bi guys, when looking for their first oral experience, often think about their close friends first – it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t but it’s also true that some guys will automatically exclude their close male friends because scratching that itch isn’t worth losing a good friend over.  That a good friendship could be irrevocably destroyed is usually a damned good reason for a bro-job not to ever happen…

Have a safe and tasty Memorial Day!