I was sitting here listening to the Weather Channel people going on and on about Hurricane Henri and looked at my Dashboard to see that something I wrote quite a while ago about bro-jobs is still making the rounds and just might be the most-read scribble I’ve written; I wonder if there’s a way I can check that?
I saw it and my first thought was, “Hmm, it’s back.” My second thought was, “They can be nice, good for mind and body.” As I thought these two things, the archivist in my head once again flashed through the many times I’ve given a bro-job and the times I’ve gotten one because, well, I guess the guy who gave it felt like I needed one or, as it “usually” turns out, it sounded like a good idea. The archivist then pulled up every time Cityman and I have talked about this, from the silly notion that it’s only a thing straight guys get into to rhetorically asking what’s so wrong about giving one and just because. His favorite scenario is hanging with a guy, watching a game or a movie, having some cocktails and snacks and one guy looks at the other and asks, “Hey, how about I suck your dick?”
It’s not really that “absurd” a situation. I’d suppose that some might think that a bro-job only happens in case of emergency but I’ve seen them happen without any emotional stress or the pain of someone’s nuts hurting. I’ve seen stuff written about this about guys doing this to help each other out but that’s not the only reason why one might be offered and accepted and my favorite is there not being anything better to do. Stuff I’ve seen suggests that a guy who accepts or offers one could be expressing some latent bisexuality or even homosexuality and I don’t necessarily disagree with this but some straight guys I knew of who talked about that time they sucked a friend’s dick have said that it sounded like a good idea at the time and some expressed confusion over why the idea even popped into their head.
Perhaps they were curious and some guys I knew of admitted that some hair of the dog was involved but stated that just because it happened didn’t mean they were gay or anything like that but quite often the real reason for offering and/or getting one was because there just wasn’t anything better to do at the time. I know that back in the day, being bored was a good reason to get the dicks out and do some sucking. So was having a painful case of blue balls. Ditto for being emotionally stressed. Um, any reason to do it worked, to be truthful about it. Getting older exposed me to a lot of guys who’d bemoan men giving each other blow jobs and while I didn’t find that to be out of character for the time, what I found curious were the number of guys who’d tell you in a heartbeat that they’d never do it… and then rattle off a list of improbably conditions that would have to be in play before they’d let some faggot suck their dick and, even “funnier,” how some would say that they’d be so offended to be asked that they’d teach that gay motherfucker a lesson by shoving their dick down their throat… and like the guy offering one would really object to that “punishment.”
When you’ve heard how silly some guys can be trying to drop hints that they wouldn’t mind a bro-job because, you know, it would really help them out right about now, a lot of the stuff I’d read early on about the Great Bro-job Controversy was just some “faction” putting straight guys on blast and questioning their sexuality and engaging in what I thought was a lot of unnecessary psychobabble and ignoring the more simplest reason: Guys like having their dick sucked and it’s not like they don’t know that guys suck dick and, sure, it might not be all that bad to suck one… as long as no one ever finds out about it.
On the forum, the topic was discussed a while back and with many of the membership wanting to know how to ask for one and expressing their desire to offer one… and how to do that without, oh, getting punched in the face or ruining a friendship. Some of the answers provided were quite interesting but not so novel from where I was sitting and involved different version of the same “steps” to take, from how to broach the subject to just coming out and asking if the object of their lust would be interested in doing some cock sucking. In this discussion, there were more guys who wanted to give one than there were guys looking to get one, which didn’t surprise me a whole lot coming from a bunch of guys on a site for bisexuals but seeing all the responses and some of the amusing suggestions offered provided some more information that said that as far as bro-jobs go, all it takes is for one guy to want to suck dick and the other guy to say yes.
Doing it isn’t the problem – getting up the nerve to ask your bud if he’d be interested in getting his dick sucked is the problem. Some of the guys said that they thought or felt that their bud might be interested and based upon something they may have said or, more often, giving them the impression that if asked, they just might accept the offer of a blow job because they’re bros and all that. The fear of loss and rejection is real and powerful in these situations and many fear that by asking, they’re outing themselves and, yeah, they got that part right. Sure, you could just pick a moment, gird your loins, have a couple of beers, and just ask him but you’d better be ready to deal with the consequences of that action and especially if his response is like, “What? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Because of this “common response,” there are quite a few of the members who are firmly of a mind that their male friends are 100% off-limits but, eh, it’s not hard to figure out that they’re saying this because everyone knows that friends just do not ever have sex with each other. Yeah, right – sure they don’t. As far as sucking dick goes, a whole lot of guys have their first experience with a friend and whether it was their idea or the friend’s idea and, almost “classically,” when they’re bored out of their minds and asking each other what is there to do and in some way I’ve never understood, doing some cock sucking just “comes up” and, my, my – that sounds like a great idea! The other camp is so infused with their fear of the other that dropping such an indecent proposal on a stranger – or having said stranger drop one on them – is enough to cause strokes and cardiac arrest and one’s best bet is to find a friend – or make a friend – who’d be willing to engage in some cock sucking.
That the Great Bro-job Controversy targeted straight men is… laughable. In my reading, a lot of pro bro-job guys just happened to be gay and, at the time, there was this strange push of some gay men wanting to seduce their straight male friends (or any straight guy they could get ahold of) and such an act, from what I read, was considered to be the “holy grail of gay cock sucking.” There’s even a whole gay porn genre involving straight guys being seduced and “paid” to do it. But the reality as I understand it says that, no, you don’t have to be straight to offer or accept a bro-job: You just gotta want to give or get one and good luck convincing the other guy that it is going to be a great idea.
The archivist in my head was having a good laugh at the times when I was asked, “What would you do if a dude asked to suck your dick?” and I decided to fuck with the guy who asked and replied, “I’d let him do it – why not?” and then sit back and enjoy watching them get all fucked up in the head. Or responding with, “Why? Are you asking?” and, oh, yeah, what fun it was to watch them start tripping all over themselves and trying to act like the question was rhetorical or, one time, the guy was asking for a “friend.” Or, “What would you do?” and then kicking back to see how they were gonna answer this and if they did at all… and, yes, some guys have said, “I asked you first!”
One guy was going on and on about the question that I actually got tired of listening to him and said, “Okay, stop already; if you want us to blow each other, stop playing around and just ask me! Damn!” I’ve had a lot of fun just sitting and listening to guys trying to convince me that it wouldn’t be all that bad if, um, you know, if we were to suck each other off. Depending on the guy, I would often have already made up my mind to say yes but, again, it was just too much fun watching them building up to being able to suggest it. One guy asked, after I said yes, “If you’d already made up your mind, why’d you let me go through all that shit?” Well, um, because I have a “weird” sense of humor but on the real, I firmly believe that if that’s what you want us to do, ask for it even though I know where you were going with this when you started talking about it.
Sigh. A bro-job can happen for any reason and sexuality doesn’t always play into it so much. It’s not a “thing” that only straight guys are into because any man can give a bro-job or get one… if he doesn’t mind and the other guy doesn’t mind either and even more so if no one else ever finds out about it. For some guys I knew, letting a guy blow them was way down on their list of things they’d do and only then in case of emergency – and you can reasonable say that the emergency was they haven’t gotten any pussy for x-amount of time or their balls were hurting so bad that just jerking off wasn’t going to do much to alleviate the pain. Or, as one guy said, “My head would have to be in a very bad space before I’d go for some shit like that!” and, I guess, on the assumption that nothing could or would happen for his head to wind up in that bad space and only letting a dude blow them – and give sucking dick a try – will get them out of that bad space.
If neither of you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. The reason why doesn’t matter so much except to be able to justify one’s actions in this. Not as easy as just asking your bro, “Yo, um, lemme suck your dick!” but, yeah, sometimes, that actually works and for no other reason than there’s nothing else to do.