Upon seeing my Dashboard, I noticed that the piece I wrote about bro-jobs is still getting reads and that’s a good thing. Seeing that it had been read again woke up the time machine and I got taken back to the first time I gave a friend a blowjob and the conditions under which it happened.
Someone had stolen his bike and right off of the porch of the house he lived in. I had seen him frantically running up and down the street and stopping some of the other kids and saying something to them; they’d shake their head, and he was back to his frantic running. He’d gotten to me and that’s when I found out why he was so frantic and clearly upset. The poor guy was in tears, and I couldn’t blame him because the bike was nice.
I felt bad for him and equally bad because I couldn’t think of anything that might have consoled him; I just sat next to him with an arm around his shoulder, not really a hug but that gesture we can make to let someone know that, if nothing else, we’re there with them. I guess we were sitting like that for a couple of minutes when I heard my voice ask, “Do you want me to suck your dick?”
The “funny” part is that I wasn’t even thinking about it and definitely not where he was concerned because he was one of the few guys who weren’t having this kind of fun. He looked at me with a shocked look on his face and I was sure that I had a shocked look on mine as well and I’m asking myself what made me ask him that and, again, because I knew about him. An even more shocked paid me a visit: He asked, “Do you think it’ll make me feel better?”
I didn’t know if it would or not – I was still trying to figure out why I even asked him that, but I did manage to say, “It might.” He said, “Okay…” and now I’m “frantically” thinking about which of the hideouts we could go to so I could suck his dick and, hopefully, make him feel better about the loss of his bike but he saved me some extra thinking when he said, “Come on – I know where we can go…” and actually took me by the hand before we walked away from where we’d been sitting. We get to a secluded spot that I’d never been to before – but I’d seen the place and never thought about it in terms of a place we could go to have sex and, once there, sheesh, I know that I’ve committed myself to sucking his dick but as he pulled his pants and underwear down to expose his dick, I was still wondering what the heck made me ask.
Oh, well. I knelt before him and took him into my mouth (he tasted like Ivory soap – yuck) and he got instantly hard and said that it tickled but it felt good and, seconds later, he’s fucking into my mouth and, man, his dick felt good in my mouth and his moans were music to my ears. I’m totally lost in the moment and to the extent that “the next thing I knew,” his cock was spurting jizz into my mouth so fast that I had to play catch-up in order to be able to swallow all of it. His release must’ve hit him pretty hard because the moment he stopped shooting, his knees gave way and he sat down hard on the floor, which got him laughing at himself and I was sure I was smiling while trying to taste the last of his stuff, which was more sweet than salty.
“You were right – I do feel better,” he said. “How did you know that it would?”
“I dunno,” I said. “I guess it just popped into my head but I don’t know why because I know that you said that you’d never do anything like that.”
He was nodding even as he said, “I don’t know why I said okay but I’m glad I did. Can we do it again and this time, I can suck your dick?”
We spent quite a bit of time in this new hideout sucking each other off. He’s all… bubbly about it and, I guessed, feeling regretful over having refused to join in our sexy fun but he let me know that this wouldn’t be the last time he’d suck a guy’s dick because it was fun and made him feel really good. He smartly admitted that what we’d done wasn’t going to bring his bike back but at least he wasn’t as upset about it as he was before.
I kinda knew that I had done a good thing as far as making him feel better, but I still hadn’t figured out why I had asked him in the first place. Not knowing this would plague me for quite a few years into the future but, well, it did make him feel better. The even “funnier” part was that we came around the corner after leaving the new place and saw the cops in front of his house with both his bike and the kid who had stolen it! We got there in time to hear his father saying something about pressing charges and upon seeing us, the cops asked him to confirm that this was his bike, which he did. His dad was giving him a lecture in putting up his bike properly as the cops were putting the thief in their car.
My friend took his bike inside and came right back out and when he came over to me he said, “What we did made me feel better and I got my bike back, too! Can we do it again?”
And by “again,” he meant right now, as it turned out. I still hadn’t figured out (1) why I asked and (2) why he said yes but that wasn’t that big of a mystery because there were a few guys who, at first, refused to do what we were doing but later changed their minds and joined in on the fun. I would, one day, be thinking about this moment – and after I’d given another very upset friend a blowjob and I would realize that I had asked this friend that day if I could suck his dick because it was the only thing, I could think of to console him. The “bad” part was that it took me quite a few years before I figured this out and well after having given quite a few blowjobs to friends who, well, needed to be sucked and even if it was their first time experiencing this.
The more grown-up version of myself would come to understand something called emotional lability or, um, being so distraught that whatever inhibitions someone might have could be sitting in the corner and leaving someone open to the offer of sex. Indeed, in all the blowjobs I’d given friends in the past – and before I got to understanding some stuff about this – I could remember that they, too, were upset for some reason or another but the mystery that remained was… why did I know to ask them if I could suck them and how did I know that it would make them feel better and especially when I didn’t know that they were into this? Being upset, I would learn, was sometimes responsible for them asking me to suck them or, for them, when I’d ask if there was anything I could do, well, would I be willing to suck their dick or, on a couple of occasions, they wanted to suck me.
We look at the bro-job in terms of helping a guy out, usually when he’s horny as fuck and not getting any from the ladies or, as I would discover, the need to cum has to be taken care of right now because it just wasn’t going to wait for later and this made sense but when a guy was upset, offering to suck him off always seemed to be a way to console him. What made this… different was that I’d find myself with guys who were really upset about something, but it never popped into my head to offer them a blowjob and no matter what I knew about them. Offering one just wasn’t a solution… I think. I would reason that it was an emotional response on my part to their emotional state, but it also seemed to be quite selective.
This was different from those moments I’d be hanging out with a guy and he’s making himself look like an idiot because he wants us to have sex, but he can’t figure out how to just come out and ask me and, yeah, he’s trying to drop hints and of the kind that the most clueless person in the world could easily pick up on. This was more like… compassion. Empathy. In the times I’d offered to suck a guy’s dick, I didn’t really have to think about it; it was like having the answer to a question just appear in your mind and you’re giving it… while being surprised at the same time. You’d think that given how many times I experienced one of these moments, I wouldn’t be surprised that my solution to his problem was to suck him off but it would surprise me just the same because knew I wasn’t thinking about it, you know, like I “secretly” wanted to blow the guy and went through the mental gymnastics trying to figure out how to ask him without, um, getting cussed out or punched in the face.
Of course, not every guy I made the offer to took me up on it but there were more guys who did than there were guys who didn’t but for my very inquisitive mind, that wasn’t the point all that much. There remained two things that I didn’t quite understand: Why this just appeared in my mind and came out of my mouth unbidden and what made them say yes? There was something very important here that I couldn’t put my finger on; it was like having something right on the tip of my tongue but not being able to get the words out and while it was… emotionally satisfying to be able to do this for a friend, it was also rather frustrating because I didn’t understand the… mechanism of it all.
It was like there was something in my head that would “go down the list of things that might make him feel better” and depending on what was bothering him so much and… the thing that might make him feel better is for me to suck him off. I would sit and think if I was… projecting. There was no question about how much I loved sucking dick so what was the possibility that this was what was making me offer blowjobs? Shit, anything was possible, and I would one day just chalk it up to a subconscious kind of thing and even more so when, one day, I gave a distraught friend a blowjob… and I didn’t even feel like doing it and wouldn’t have even if he had asked. That didn’t have anything to do with him, but I would sometimes find myself sucking a friend off and thinking about how I really didn’t want to do this… but I’m doing it, he’s enjoying it and my brain would be like, “Well, he’s not all down in the dumps anymore…” and that, it seemed, was the important thing.
A “knee-jerk” reaction on my part? Something going on in my subconscious? Cleary, an emotional response on my part to his emotional state – compassion, empathy, or having that helpless feeling knowing that there’s not a whole lot I can say or do to make him get out of whatever funky mood he was in but, aha! There was something I could do! And, again, more guys accepted the offer than they turned it down – but, sometimes, the guy would catch up with me later and ask if the offer was still good and… yeah, sure, why not? Asking them why they accepted my offer would get me answers from “I have no idea” to “It sounded good at the time” but I would learn that they’d be surprised that they accepted the offer and, again, especially if they’d never done anything with a guy and sure as hell never gave it any thought.
Stress and emotional distress seems to do some… interesting shit. Emotional lability is something I kinda/sorta understand but one of the many things that I can’t really explain. It really came home to roost when we had a lesson about emotions in my college psychology class; our professor was talking about how “altered emotional states” – like being under stress of some kind – can do some pretty “weird” stuff and could, sometimes, get someone to do something that they normally wouldn’t do. Even he had said – at the time – that emotional lability wasn’t that well understood but for me – and after giving so many blowjobs to emotionally upset friends – well, that made sense even if it didn’t really explain why I would offer one and doing so wasn’t even a hint of a thought in my mind.
It was like there was a part of me that always knew that sucking a guy’s dick was the thing that would, if nothing else, take his mind off of whatever was bothering him, and it also knew that making the offer to this guy? Yeah, not gonna happen and the fucked-up part was me not being aware of this going on in my head until I heard the words coming out of my mouth. It’s seriously spooky and I would eventually stop making myself crazy trying to figure out what the fuck was going on in my head when it seemed like the best thing I could do for my very upset friends would be to suck them off.
It really didn’t help matters when I’d blow a guy and, later, he’s asking me why he agreed to me sucking him off… and like I knew why… and I didn’t. One guy asked me why this sounded like the perfect idea to him even though he’d never wanted to do something like this and… I didn’t know but I did know that it very much sounded like a perfect idea, or for me, it felt like one. Or something. I would learn that a guy would want to be sucked off but being painfully horny wasn’t always the reason why and… I just knew that it was the thing that had to be done to him and for those who accepted the offer, they somehow knew it, too.
Now, while some guys didn’t return the favor – and I didn’t even think about asking them to – some guys did and many of them were very surprised to find themselves sucking my dick and, as one guy said, “Having the nerve to be enjoying the fuck out of it.” Did I know why? I well and truly did not know and, as mentioned earlier, I eventually gave up trying to make sense of this. It’s been relegated to one of those things that I know can happen. Been there, done that, seen it happen with other guys and, yeah, hearing the offer being made and accepted was as surprising as watching two guys who had never done anything with a guy before and now they’re blowing each other’s brains out and then not really understanding why they did.
It… seemed like a good idea at the time. Why? Damned if I know and that even with what I learned about emotional lability. I even learned that I could give a bro-job to a woman and sometimes having to explain that the reason why I offered to eat her was just because I felt that it would make her feel better about whatever was bothering her. I didn’t give a lot of bro-jobs to my female friends but for those who accepted, they, too, said that it sounded like a good idea and they did feel better and even if only for that moment. Which, I guess, is “the whole point.” At the least, it’s a distraction, something that takes their mind off of whatever’s bugging them. One woman asked how I knew that eating her would make her feel better and I felt pretty stupid because all I could tell her was, “I just knew it would.” No ulterior motives other than feeling great compassion or empathy for someone.
Some weird shit, huh? I’m still of a mind that there are those who think that guys give each other bro-jobs just because they’re horny as fuck but I learned that there are other reasons that don’t have a thing to do with being horny. It’s… not like being down in the dump and “actively” thinking that you need to get laid – that, I think, is a bit different because it’s an active, conscious, thought. No, most bro-jobs, I think, happen in the “spur of the moment” more than a deliberate kind of thing. It’s not the same as you knowing a guy and you’d give anything to be able to suck him off (or have him fuck you); this is… intent. Call it “premeditated.”
I… can’t really explain it. I’ve done it, though, and more than a few times because… it just made sense and I don’t know why it does.