Author Archives: kdaddy23

About kdaddy23

Not really sure what to say; there's a lot about me that can be said but the basic thing is that I'm just a guy with a lot of things on my mind that I need to get said. I have to add that if you're not old enough to deal with adult issues or you find them offensive, you might want to stay out of my head...

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Be Who You Need To Be

One of the things that used to irk the hell out of me was people telling me that I didn’t need to be bisexual, that I should endeavor to be like all the other men around me.  A former lover said this to me one day and, ooh, it pushed a button and I said to her, “What, are you asking or telling me not to be who I am?  That I should be like other dudes, like the one who used to beat on you whenever he felt like it, or the one who was robbing you blind, or all those guys you told me about – complained about – who didn’t care about your value as a woman and a person but just wanted you because you can fuck like a wild woman?”

“You want me to be one of those guys?”

She was taken aback at the ferocity of my questions and was about to say something but I cut her off by saying, “See, you think you understand, but you really don’t.  You don’t like the fact that I’ve slept with men and, worse, you think that because I love to suck dick, that has something to do with you.  My sexuality bothers you and it shouldn’t… yet, you want me to be what you want me to be instead of me being the person I am… and I don’t pretend to understand that, no, not one bit.”

“You don’t have to go around sucking dick,” she said after a moment.

“I know I don’t “have” to do it; I do it because I love doing it.  But, again, you think you understand and you don’t because my sexuality isn’t just about the sex part of it; being bisexual liberated me from a whole lot of the shit we were taught growing up; it’s helped me to see things differently, to understand that there’s more to life than just following along behind everybody else and toeing the line as expected.  I’d even go as far as to say that if I weren’t bisexual, we would have never met and that’s because I wouldn’t have had the mindset or even the ability to reach out to you as I did and despite our situations and I sure as hell wouldn’t have been able to love you as I do.  You want me to be like every other motherfucker… and I’m not like every other motherfucker – why is this a problem?”

“It’s not a problem, it’s just that…,” she started to say – then went quiet.

“I remember,when we met and started talking, that you said that you weren’t the kind of woman that goes around trying to change a man… yet, here you are, trying to change me and insisting that I not be who and what I am and without understanding that my sexuality made me into the guy you fell in love with,” I said.  “So… if I stop being bisexual – if I stop being myself – does that mean that you’re gonna stop loving me?”

She continued to sit there silently; I could tell that she was deep in thought, her facial expressions neutral but her eyes letting me know what was going on.

“I have to be who and even what I am,” I said slowly, getting the impression that what we had together was about to come apart at the seams.  “Even if I promised not to suck another man’s dick, it won’t ever change the facts that, for one, I’ve sucked a lot of dick and for the other, the desire to suck even more cock isn’t just gonna up and leave.  It’s what I’ve done… it’s just a part of me that’s just as natural as my wanting to have sex with you and since I’m mentioning this, if you think I’m kinda/sort good at it, did it ever cross your mind that my sexuality just might have something to do with that?”

“Yes, I did,” she said quietly.  “But…”

“But what?  Look, I get that my being bisexual bothers you and I’ll remind you that when we first started talking, I told you that I was bisexual and you said that you didn’t have a problem with it… but I guess you really did, huh?” I asked, shaking my head.  “You want or maybe even need me to be something I never was, something I can’t possibly be.  My sexuality can’t be turned off, forgotten, or otherwise discarded; it’s as much a part of me as breathing!  Would you like for me to stop breathing?”

“Don’t be stupid,” she said, her formidable anger now beginning to surface.

“I’m not the one being stupid here,” I countered.  “I’m wondering why so many women rant and rave about a man having to accept them as they are, all the good and bad things about them but those same women are, more often than not, unwilling to accept a man under those same conditions.”

“Are you saying that I’m one of those women?” she asked.

“I’m not saying that you are – the question was rhetorical,” I said.  “I get that you have this idea of the kind of man you want and how you’d want him to be so that you can be loved, cherished, and all those other things women desire in life… and I get that because I’m bisexual, eh, I don’t exactly fit the thing that you have inside your head; you don’t like it this one thing about me…”

“There are a lot of things I don’t like about you,” she said, cutting me off.

“As you say,” I said with a nod.  “There’s a lot of things I don’t like about you but the one thing I really don’t like is you wanting me to stop being the person I am and change into the person you want me to be… and I’m not going to do that – I can’t do that:  I won’t do that.”

“So are you saying that you don’t love me enough to change?” she asked, her eyes beginning to glisten with unshed tears.  “You saying that I’m not worth you giving up this bisexual shit?”

“That bisexual shit, as you so crudely put it, has been a part of my life for the longest time,” I said.  “Do I love you?  Oh, Lord knows I really and truly do; you are a magnificent woman, no question about that.  Do I love you so much that I’d be willing to forego being the person I’ve always been?  No, I can’t honestly say that I do; there are a lot of things I’m willing to do for your love but for me to stop being that which made me the person I am sitting here in front of you?  You’re asking me to do something I cannot and will not do; you might not like this part of me… but I do and I’m never, ever going to apologize for that or for being who and what I am.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing else to be said, ” she said.  “I’m done with all of this and since you’ve made it clear that I’m not worth changing for, that means I’m done with you, too.”

“So be it,” I said, my heart crashing to the floor and breaking into tiny pieces.  I stood up and took a deep, calming breath, to help me fight off the urge to cry and stepped toward the door.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Home,” I replied.  “If we’re through, there’s no reason for me to remain here, is there?”

I walked out, closing the door behind me and if she answered my question, well, I just never heard it.  I got in my car and headed home, replaying the whole conversation in my head several times and thinking that even though I’d lost someone I loved deeply, I would have lost a lot more than that by trying to be someone – or something – I wasn’t and couldn’t be.  I thought about how men are expected and required to sacrifice everything for the love of a woman so that we can be the guy she wants and needs but I also thought about that really weird situation where a woman can fall in love with a guy because of everything he is and at the moment she realizes that she loves him… but there’s always that one thing she, for some reason, wants and needs to change because she doesn’t like it or something like that so she “demands” that he change or else.

I thought that, at the end of any day, the only thing I have that is truly mine is who I am and those things that make me who I am and that, yeah, you’re damned right, when someone tries to take from me that which makes me who and what I am, I have a problem with that; it violates a principle that we all have, that being, we must always be true to ourselves first and foremost… but how can you do that when someone feels that they need to make changes within you that, ultimately, will turn your into someone or something else?  I realized, as I parked my car at home, that I needed to do some really serious thinking about all of this.

And I did think about it but I couldn’t come up with a way for me to not be bisexual; it just wasn’t simply a thing to do – it was a way to be, the way I’d always been and it didn’t matter if I was having sex with men or not.  I knew, even if she didn’t, that I just can’t stop being bisexual; it’s not like turning off a light or unlearning a bad habit like biting your nails or something like that.  Like Popeye use to say, “I yam what I yam…” and what I am is bisexual… and I just can’t be anything other than that.

A few weeks later, she called me and the first thing she said was, “I was wrong; I don’t have the right to tell or demand that you not be who you are.  I know I fell in love with who you are and that part of who you are is being bisexual.  I just wanted to let you know that, okay?”

“Okay,” I said.  “Thank you for telling me this.”  I figured that once she said this, the call would end and life would continue to move forward as always.

“What are you doing this weekend?” she asked.

“Nothing that I know of – why?” I asked.

“I’d like to see you,” she said.

“Okay,” I said.  “Might I ask why?”

“I think you know why,” she said.  “I’d like for us to talk about a few things that can only be discussed in person.”

And we did talk…

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Posted by on 3 October 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Monogamy Isn’t Dead, But…

I was reading this blog – – and it was a good one, too, and one that got me thinking about monogamy and the fact that monogamy isn’t dead, but there are more people who are understanding that monogamy just isn’t as fulfilling as it may have been intended to be.  Yeah, that whole Ashley Madison thing was a joke – lots of hypocrisy and infidelity going on there as well as the owners of the site using “dirty tricks” to entice people to pay for membership and in the hope of hooking up with someone who’d be interested in having an affair.

There are a lot of people who think that because there are so many other people “turning away” from monogamy, we’ve become immoral and we’ve lost our way and so much that there’s great fear about the future of our society.  My own thoughts, such as they are, are that there are those of us who are finally realizing that monogamy isn’t all that it’s been hyped up to be and that being monogamous is more of a hinderance when it comes to certain things, namely, the satisfaction of one’s needs and the growing, obvious fact that one person just isn’t capable of handling all of which their partner may want and need which, I’m thinking, is why the tenets of monogamy imply that you shouldn’t have any other wants and needs that don’t include your partner.

Yeah, some people find it easier to cheat and it is to attempt to negotiate for a form of non-monogamy – and understandably so since for some folks, asking for permission to be unfaithful just doesn’t make any sense at all.  Some folks find that there’s a certain… arrogance in play here as well as a great deal of indifference; “I should be all that you ever need and if I’m not, well, too bad, huh?  If you don’t like it, you can always leave… and don’t let the doorknob hit in you in the ass on your way out!”

Some find being monogamous to be severely limiting, not just in the areas of sexual congress but in other areas of personal growth so, as such, some folks find that monogamy is more oppressive than anything else since they’re not allowed to be the person they feel they need to be and are forced to be the person someone else expects them to be.  Still, monogamy isn’t dead, but there are people who are just tired of being put on lockdown, tired of having their wants and needs ignored or suppressed for some greater good that never seems to appear and, yeah, to them, monogamy just doesn’t make a lot of sense these days.   Since humans are some pretty creative animals, we’ve learned that we can have our cake and eat it – and that everyone involved can have fun chowing down on the cake as well by engaging in what’s being called ethical non-monogamy or, as I like to call it, negotiated infidelity.  No matter what you wanna call it, it is quite oddly like being bisexual in that you have the best of both worlds – the stability and security and comfort of being monogamous as well as the sheer thrill of being able to attend to your needs – or the needs of your partner – as required.

Monogamy isn’t dead, but maybe it’s no longer wholly capable of handling the needs of the folks in a relationship.  I was thinking about some of the conversations I’ve had with a fellow WordPress blogger (she knows who she is) on the subject of monogamy and her views on it… and then her response to what is, for me, a simple question:  What if there’s something you need or want that your husband cannot provide for you?  What do you do?  She’s funny in that on the one hand, she contends that she’s never supposed to want anything or anyone other than what her husband can provide… but there are, in fact, some things she needs that there’s no way he can provide.  For my friend – and for countless other people bound by the tenets of monogamy, this is a problem – no, it is a major problem because monogamy demands that in this situation, you are unconditionally assed out and you’re just gonna have to learn to live without whatever it was you wanted that your partner cannot – or, in some cases, will not – provide to ensure your continued happiness in the relationship and, no, sex isn’t the only thing that can fall into this category.

Monogamy isn’t dead, but some folks, as I’ve said, are just tired of being put on lockdown; they’re not allowed to have close opposite sex friends or even close same sex friends; your life, such as it is, it totally and, supposedly, irrevocably in the hands and under the control of the dominant person in the relationship or, kinda simply, you do things in the relationship and in the way they want you to do them or else.  The way some folks approach and interpret monogamy is, plainly, frightening because, in their minds, they own you and the only hopes, dreams, desires, whatever, you are allowed to have are the ones they allow you to have.  They have this “my way or the highway” mentality that, at the end of the day, proves to be so oppressive and suppressive that not only there are thoughts of being non-monogamous to escape this environment, actions are taken toward that end… and what I believe to be the worst thing is that if there’s no action taken – and it’s not taken out of fear – a very nasty sense of resentment will settle onto the relationship and one that will signal the beginning of the end – the relationship will die a slow, terrible, and painful death.

When people are unfaithful, there are many adjectives and epithets used to describe such heinous, immoral behavior like being weak-minded and susceptible to temptation, not being able to commit to the relationship, being a dog, a slut or whore and, well, the list gets longer and nastier; it’s always the fault of the person being unfaithful and while there are some situations where a partner knows that they’re the reason why their partner is being unfaithful (or having thoughts in that direction), I don’t think that anyone ever thinks about the real culprit in any of this:  Monogamy.  They don’t see – or can’t see – that monogamy was designed to accommodate a particular need and in order to accomplish that particular goal, it was necessary to suppress any or all desires that would make the goal unreachable; there’s a reason why we promise, vow, and are expected to keep only unto ourselves, that no man can put asunder, and hanging in there for better or for worse.  For a lot of people, monogamy is a hostile environment and one that’s designed to inhibit some shit even though monogamy is supposed to allow us to grow together… but only in a specified, limited way so, if you’d really care to think about it, monogamy isn’t always what it provides as a state of relationship – it’s what it doesn’t or can’t provide that causes the most problems.

Indeed, we think that the tenets of monogamy are forever sealed in lead, that the rules can never, ever be changed… except, when we’re in a relationship, we’re told that our relationship is only going to be as good as we can make it but, um, didn’t it ever occur to anyone that in order for us to make our relationship as good as we can make it, er, we might have to tweak or even break some rules to make this happen?  In being monogamous, we’re supposed to be of one mind, one heart, and all that good stuff which, depending on how you care to look at it, removes the individuality of the people involved from the equation; you’re expected and required to give up who you are as a person – all your hopes, your dreams, your desires, and even your thoughts – in favor of this supposedly better dynamic.  And, yes, sometimes it works… but not always because, again if you care to look at it, the logic of monogamy is flawed because it really doesn’t leave room or allow for anyone to change anything.  People eventually see this in some way and they think that there’s nothing that can be done about it other than dissolving the relationship and starting over… but that’s not exactly the truth and it’s a truth that, overall, we – society – won’t acknowledge… because we’re not supposed to – we’ve been told not to.

Monogamy isn’t dead, but, yeah, there are a lot of people who are learning, and often the hard way, that monogamy doesn’t always work as advertised; if you need something that your partner cannot or will not provide, you are fucked and not in a good way and if you don’t like it, well, all you can do is not like it – or hit the road which is something, oddly enough, isn’t really an option for a lot of folks.  So, um, if you have wants and needs that your partner can’t or won’t provide for your continued well-being and finding yourself being single again just ain’t gonna work for you, then what do you do?  It’s an obvious and proven fact that there are some people who will not choose to do nothing about this situation… but they also don’t want to give up the good things that being in the relationship provides them, either.  So people cheat… or they find a compromise to the situation that is agreeable to everyone involved.

It’s playing by the rules… and not so much.  That people are finding some creative ways to have their cake and eat it has always been seen as being immoral and anyone doing this is deemed to be morally bankrupt… but is that really the truth?  What more people are discovering is that they can, in fact, create their own version of what it means to be monogamous so that they can make their relationship the best it can be for both of them; they do this because they dare to question that which is supposedly never to be questioned, they fiddle with the rules that are supposed to be inviolate and, I’d say to the dismay of those fierce believers in monogamy, they find a way to make it work and keep each other happily together.

Ah, man… this is such a hot-button topic, ain’t it?  At least in my mind, it comes down to something I find interesting:  When you’re in a relationship, are you supposed to do things with and for each other out of love… or are we supposed to do things because we’ve been told to do only certain things?  I know that I love Linda… just as I also know that for me to think or even believe that I am all that she will ever want and/or need is just patently ridiculous; I’m good… but I’m not that good.  Monogamy requires me to be all that she will ever want and need… but my love for her is quite capable of finding creative ways to handle this.  Given that we’re both bisexual – and this is usually a problem in a monogamous relationship – if she were to tell me that she wanted a girlfriend to play with and it would make her a happy camper, my love for her will not allow me to tell her no – but monogamy demands that this is exactly what I’m supposed to do… and I’m thinking that monogamy has no fucking idea what it’s like to live with Linda when she’s unhappy about something.  I know that if I were to tell her that she couldn’t have a girlfriend/playmate, one of two things are gonna happen (or both will):  She’s going to be hell to live with and she just might veto my decision and go get that girlfriend/playmate anyway.  In my mind, it’s kinda simple:  If I can’t be totally responsible for her happiness, then she has to be responsible for her happiness.  My choice in this is easy – it’s better to contribute to her happiness and growth than it is to be subjected to her ire and displeasure and, really, running the risk of her walking away from me and all because I wanted to be stubborn about it and hold her to a standard that just ain’t working for her totally and completely.

Monogamy isn’t dead… but it’s not the only way to have a good and meaningful relationship.  Yep, cheating sucks but most people just cannot see or understand why cheating happens and one of the reasons why it happens is because of the restrictions being monogamous puts on us.  It is said that it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission – and this is what a lot of people do and often with disastrous, catastrophic results… but a lot of people have found that is it better to ask permission and, of course, more so when permission is given and shared because what’s good for the goose can be good for the gander.  Happiness in a relationship is something that we have to make for ourselves and not something that’s”automatically” provided or assumed.

This is my thoughts about this for the moment and I’ll leave you to your own thoughts about it for now…

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Posted by on 1 October 2015 in Life, Living and Loving


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Ursine Plight

Yep, I’ve still got a case of bear-on-the-brain… and I was thinking that these guys just seem to be the kind of guy that some women would find repugnant because of their size, the amount of body hair they have and, yeah, because some of them may barely have five inches of dick when hard.  They may have good hearts and other qualities some women seek in men but, nah, if homeboy ain’t as fit and trim as a Chippendale – and hung like a horse – keep moving.

Yet, as I’ve seen, when bears meet each other, those… deficiencies that can make a woman reject them don’t seem to play into anything; indeed, for some, the more body hair, the better; if homey weighs in at 230+, so much the better.  His dick only three inches long when hard and you gotta move some belly fat to get at it?  No problem – it’s there somewhere and it works just fine!  These men fascinate me because, at least on the surface, they’re quite masculine and even the younger bears – cubs in the vernacular – seem to be some fairly macho guys and some of them, well, I just sit and wonder what it is about them that would turn a woman off but, of course, it’s not always what you see that provides a negative and I get that.

But, still…

I watch clips of these guys fucking and sucking each other, see clips of them masturbating privately and/or publicly and some of them have a pretty good-sized dick that even I wouldn’t object to playing with.  I did wonder, for a moment, that maybe they got to some point where, perhaps, they got tired of having women play them for fools or otherwise using them and, so, the only solace and succor they can find is with men who are just like they are.

Earlier today, I was clearing out my Tumblr messages and saw this one clip where a bear was getting his dick sucked – and because of his girth, it couldn’t have been any more than three or four inches fully erect… and the guy (yes, another bear) sucking him was pretty much eating his dick like it was a much-desired snack; the dude doing the sucking was having a field day and, yeah, I even thought that because the other guy didn’t have much in the way of dick, it made blowing him so much easier.

Then the bear being sucked got up, kissed the dude who was sucking him and proceed to stick his dick in; trust me, given how… thickly-built these two men were, you’d think any penetration wouldn’t be possible… but I’ll be damned if the guy didn’t just merely get his dick in, he was fucking the guy like his life depended on it!  Because they were in the missionary position, I could see that the bear being reamed out didn’t have much dick either and I thought, “Yeah, I don’t know too many women who’d want to deal with either guy like that…” but, still, wow, homey was getting his freak on at the other guy’s expense.  The bear being fucked busted a nut and, well, if ya like sperm, let’s say you wouldn’t have been disappointed, okay?  Predictably, the bear doing the fucking pulled out and shot a massive load all over the other guy’s belly.  For a moment, I actually laughed because I thought, “Hmm, I guess if you’re that big, you got a lot of body to store all that sperm!”

As I said, these guys fascinate me and they get me thinking about why they are the way they are; what drives and motivates them?  Are they all gay… or are they bisexual – they love pussy but maybe it’s so hard for them to get some, well, there are always guys who are willing to get naked and throw down.  Do these human ursine replicants get all into who’s dominant and who must always submit to being taken?

I have a zillion questions… and not much in the way of answers…

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Posted by on 28 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Time to Rant and Riff

Before I went to bed, I was reading an email my newest friend (who continues to remain nameless since I’ve not asked his permission to name him) and, wow, this dude has really got his head in the right place about his bisexuality.  During his engaging discourse, he said the “P” word when saying a few things about how he had been holding on to his heterosexuality while, in essence, kinda/sorta denying his bisexuality.  I said some things to him about that but as I finished going through my emails this morning, his email popped back into my head and my thoughts focused on his use of the “P” word.

Privilege:  “A special right, advantage or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.”  There are many who accuse bisexuals of having some kind of “straight privilege” and seeing my friend use the word in this context got me to wondering just who in our society granted us a privilege to do or be something that, as bisexuals, we tend to do by default, i.e., be heterosexual?  I’ve always felt that anyone who feels that our heterosexual side is some unearned or undeserved perk just really doesn’t understand a damned thing about bisexuals and, yes, I will once again point out that the group of people who has saying this shit the loudest are those people who have more problems living in a heterosexual world than bisexuals do.

I had all of this running through my head and I was fuming; I thought, “Those motherfuckers are just pissed because we can do something that they can’t; they have never been pleased about the fact that we can “get away” with something that they themselves have had so much trouble trying to pull off, just like they’ve been the ones living in the most fear regarding their sexuality that they only place they could try to hide was, in fact, in the heterosexual world even though they weren’t all that happy about having to be straight-acting…”

The fact that they even dare to assume that we – bisexuals – have some privilege continues to tell me that they’re among a group of people who, for reasons only God may know, continue to believe that people are either just straight or just homosexual, that someone couldn’t actually be both in some form or another, and that someone could never change their mind and make a decision (and you can damned well read that as meaning a choice) to shuck off their “current” sexual orientation and be bisexual… and simply because it suits their purposes in life to be bisexual.  It presumes, and incorrectly so, I might add, that someone who has lived their life with either same or opposite sex attractions just couldn’t possibly find a reason to develop attractions to the same and opposite sex in tandem… and since these folks have such a narrow view of the way things really work when it comes to humans, bisexuals are being accused of faking the funk and taking advantage of the “privilege” of heterosexuality which also incorrectly presumes that bisexuals are really homosexuals who don’t want anyone to know they’re really homosexuals.

Really?  I mean, really fucking really?  We – society – get our tits in a bunch about human rights and understandably, justifiably so given that so many people in the world continue to have their rights as a human being suppressed and just flat-out stomped on and the biggest one is our God-given right to live our individual lives as we see fit and without persecution.  If you believe this to be true, then bisexuals have that same God-given right to be both heterosexual and homosexual as they see the need to be… except we also live in a “majority-ruled society” that also believes that everyone has to be heterosexual and if you aren’t, well, your right to live your life the best way you can is null and void… and you only have to look at the way homosexuals have been treated to see and understand this.

I guess that there are some folks who just feel they have to invoke “misery loves company” because they’ve historically had so much trouble living in a predominantly heterosexual world and since this has been a pain in their collective asses for so long (figuratively speaking, of course), they find reason to want to drag bisexuals down right along with them and, oh, yeah, if they can also take a few transgender folks with them, so much the better.  They just can’t deal with the fact that someone like me is not only heterosexual and homosexual but one of my other default behaviors is being heterosexual and, oh, yeah, being heterosexual by default is a choice I made because it suits my purposes as I go about the pursuit of happiness and exercising my God-given right to live my life.  How fucking hard is it to understand this?  How damned difficult is it to accept this?  If those people – and they know who the fuck they are – think we have some kind of privilege that keeps us from being persecuted for our orientation, then why don’t they stop moaning and whining about what we naturally have and focus their thoughts on getting to where we, as bisexuals, have always been?

Oh, yeah, that’s right – that’s exactly what they’ve been doing for as long as I can remember, haven’t they… and it wasn’t until now that they’ve made any real progress toward that end but, comparatively speaking and with an eye on the grand scheme of things, nah, they’ve not really gotten as far as they’d like in their goal – nay, their need – to be treated just like everyone else which, unfortunately for them, is a problem that bisexuals have never had; we don’t have that problem because, again, for many of us, our default behavior is to be heterosexual… but we are far from being monosexual and, yeah, I can see how that can just stick in their collective craws.  By comparison, affirmative action was a privilege granted to minority groups because of the unfair treatment of said minorities and, yep, AA pissed a lot of people off – it still does and to the point where “charges” of reverse-discrimination abound due to this special right that was granted so long ago.  This was – is – some very messy shit; AA was enacted because minorities were being denied the equal rights granted to all Americans under the Constitution – it was supposed to right a long-standing wrong and, yep, even I took advantage of that special right so I could get on my feet and take care of myself and my family.

What does that have to do with anything?  Well, if you think about it – if you care to think about it – you can maybe see the word “privilege” in action and, perhaps, begin to understand that sexuality – and how we go about being straight, bi, or gay, isn’t a privilege; even if it cannot be agreed upon that our right to be whatever sexuality suits our purposes is a God-given right, as Americans, we do have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Even though we are guaranteed equality under the law, we also know that, um, we don’t give a fuck about the law, do we, because we continue to treat each other unequally all up and down the line and so, in a way, I can see and understand why there are some people out there who think that I, as a bisexual, have some privilege to be treated as a heterosexual even when I know I’m not… but it’s not a privilege, not by definition; I’m just able to exercise my “equal rights” better than someone who can’t because of our natural tendency to hate that which is different from us.

To those who still want to believe that we have some kind of privilege, I have this to say:  Don’t hate the player, hate the game; stop accusing us for having something that, in truth, we never had and, by all means, get your asses off your back because you think we have something that you want and you wanna believe we don’t deserve it and more so since you’re still having a hard time getting to where bisexuals have always been and, please, stop making your problems with this our problems.  Bisexuals have enough shit fucking with their heads without have this so-called straight privilege charge being levied on us, okay?  There are heterosexuals out there who are pitching a bitch about your so-called gay privilege, raising all kinds of hell because you are being granted rights that they don’t believe you’re entitled to since homosexuals are such soulless, godless, creatures; they feel that you are trampling on their right to be heterosexual as well as their right to believe that being heterosexual is the only true way to believe.  And I get it that this just fucks with you and, for a lot of you – and given my age and all that – I knew you were being fucked with about this before some of you were even born so you were always fighting an uphill battle… but that’s what happens when you show your face and paint a target upon yourselves – you get shot at and you will continue to be shot at until you are totally and utterly destroyed.

Unlike you folks – and, again, you know who you are – we are not hiding to avoid persecution, not like homosexuals have been persecuted.  You choose to be homosexual – and that is your right, in my opinion, but we choose to be bisexual and just the nature of what we are gives us a choice that you don’t have – we can be straight or gay as we see fit and if we choose to be more straight than gay, well, what’s the problem?  We’re just doing what we’ve always been able to do and, really, if we are hiding from anything, we’re staying under the radar so we won’t be mistaken for homosexuals and become subject to the same persecution you are bravely, valiantly, trying to get away from.

There is no straight privilege for us; we can’t be accused of “acting straight” because we are, in fact and in deed, straight… when we want and need to be… and homosexual, too.  You wanna fuck with us about this nonsense but what about all the homosexuals who have been acting straight and because they are trying to escape to escape persecution.  Fuck no… we’re not guilty of having that straight privilege… but some homosexuals are guilty of it, aren’t they?  What… y’all don’t wanna talk about that?  Why not?  Don’t get me wrong, I really do get why there are straight-acting gays; as far as society is concerned, you’re prey to be hunted and eradicated, terminated with extreme prejudice… but don’t you fucking dare accuse us of doing something “dishonest” when you’re the ones who, even by necessity, have been dishonest about your true identities in the sexuality world.

There is no fucking “straight privilege” we’re taking advantage of; you’re just miffed because we can do something you can’t do.  If you feel that we have some kind of privilege at work here in being straight, do we also have a “gay privilege” as well?  Can you point the finger at us for faking our homosexuality as easily as you point the finger at us for faking our heterosexuality?  Are we really faking any funk here… or are we, in fact, just doing what’s natural for us to do?  We have something you desperately want and need and, again, even I understand why you’ve been fighting this war for as long as you’ve been fighting it… but while I don’t know and cannot speak for other or all bisexuals, I am one – and likely one of many – bisexuals who fervently wish you’d stop trying to drag us into your war with heterosexuality; just stop fucking with us about this, will you?  Like I said, we have enough issues being bisexual so we sure the fuck don’t need any more shit piled onto us… and it ain’t even some shit of our own making.  Believe it or not, a lot of bisexuals – and this one included – are on your side as you fight for your rights to be treated equally; by some of y’all going out of your way to alienate us, well, you’re not helping your cause a whole lot, are you?

I just had the insane thought that if those folks – you fucking know who you are – feel that we have some kind of privilege, well, there’s a way you can have that same “privilege” you think we have:  Become bisexual!  But, ah, you’re not gonna do that, are you, and you won’t because – wait for it – you do have the right to be homosexual because it’s how you choose to live your lives that way and, at least here in the United States of America, that you have that right is, in and of itself, a privilege and one that cannot be easily had anywhere else in the world.

Thus endeth the rant…

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Posted by on 24 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Convergence

A few things have come together today.  It’s my 60th birthday, it’s the 52nd anniversary of the day I lost my virginity and became sexually active, it’s the first day of fall and, oh, it’s Bisexuality Day!  As these thing coalesced in my mind, I thought, “Man, that’s a lot of shit happening today!”

It’s strange when you can sit back and think about your life, dredging up so many memories, so many hallmark moments as well as those key moments in time that wind up changing your life forever and no matter if they were good, bad, or made me feel indifferent; it makes one appreciate how diverse their life has been and I’m seeing that the bolder the steps you take along the way, the more diverse and rich your life becomes.

On the day when so many things have converged, I find myself thinking about it all and how sex and my sexuality has played into so much of the richness I’ve experienced while asking the rhetorical question, “If I hadn’t had my first sexual experience in the middle of my birthday party, what would my life had been like?”  It’s a question that cannot be answered… but I have this niggling thought in the back of my mind that if I hadn’t, um, my life probably wouldn’t have been as exciting because I wouldn’t have had the incentive to be bold, to be daring, to pretty much buck the system and, at times, spit in the face of conventional thinking…

And I don’t regret any of it.  As I turn 60 today, I fully understand that living isn’t about being who everyone else thinks you should be – it’s about being the person you need to be; it’s about not always playing it safe and never taking any risks – fortune does favor the bold, after all – and then, later in life, not sitting around and finding yourself wishing that you had done some things that you didn’t do… but now you realize that you should have.  It’s not even about looking back and saying to yourself, “Damn, I wish I hadn’t done (add something here)…” because, duh, ya did it and once it’s done, it can’t be undone – life is also about living with the consequences of your actions… or your inactions.

On the day I’ve turned 60, I’m still of a mind to figure out what kind of nice trouble I can get myself into, not because I don’t know any better but simply because it’s a lot of fun being a rebel of sorts and, along the way, learn so much shit about living that at times it seems like it can’t all fit inside my head… and there’s still so much to be learned and experienced so that I can keep spitting in the face of conventional thinking, not with impunity, mind you, but defiantly making a statement that I’m still not going to be boring, not going to be a lemming and blindly follow along with the crowd and if you tell me that I’m not supposed to do a thing or shouldn’t do it, I still wanna find out why and, um, there is only one way to find out.

I cannot honestly say that I’ve done it all… but, yeah, I’ve done some shit and – get this – by being unconventional and swiping a few things from conventional thinking (and while it was wiping the spittle from its face) because life is all about finding what works for you and then doing all the shit to keep making it work; it’s about not always saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it!” – it’s about breaking it so you can fuck with it… and just because you can and more so if you’re not supposed to fuck with it – where’s the fun in that?  But, most of all, it’s about doing all this shit and while trying to be as smart about it as you can and doing your best to avoid the many pitfalls that can bring your party to a crashing, ignoble halt.

Turning 60 is a milestone and one that I’ve been blessed to have reached… but I’m not coasting at this point because there are still so many things to see, do, and learn… and, yeah, even more rebellious trouble to get into.  We spend so much of our lives striving to toe the line, to live up to sets of standards which are deemed appropriate, just, and right for us to adhere to and, again, while there is some worth to be found in this, nah, being a bad boy is just too much fun… and being a bisexual bad boy even more fun.

The convergence of these things on this day serve to remind me that life is good and it’s only going to be as good as you want to make it and, yep, sometimes, breaking a few rules and taboos can make life good, too – there’s nothing like knowing you still love to suck cock to keep the juices flowing, if ya know what I mean…


Posted by on 23 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Self-Validation

I was reading this – (to give my man a shout-out) – and I commented on this but it also got me thinking about the whole self-acceptance process and the things I had to work through in my head so that I could not only accept my sexuality but integrate it into my life.  I know that when I talk about this, I make it sound easy and that’s because I understand what it takes so my mind tends to simplify it… but, fuck no, it’s not all that simple and more so if one is well into their adult life and have this land on them.  In this, I know I had the advantage of having bisexuality land on me at a young age so I’ve have decades to sort all this shit out, to put things in their proper place and to accept and own my sexuality but, nope, not everyone has that benefit of having the time it takes to validate themselves.

There’s what you’re supposed to do; be attracted to women, get married, have kids, work your ass off, and be respectable to one and all and, importantly, don’t ever stray from this path… and that’s all well and good except at the moment you realize that you’re bisexual, well,um, that tends to complicate things a little, doesn’t it?  There’s what you’re supposed to do… but this is how you think and feel and now you’ve got a problem:  Not only do you have to accept the fact that you’re bisexual, you also have to figure out how this  shit is going to work with that which you’re supposed to do.  It can be done… and, yes, because I did it (and I’m not the only one),  that makes it possible; it’s just not an easy thing to do.

Even as you’re trying to sort this bisexual shit out in your head, which is a bitch all by itself because you know – and even if you haven’t accepted it – that you’ve either felt this way or have indulged yourself in this fashion and, yeah, you were pretty much okay with it; you know you were but because of that which you’re supposed to do, you wind up questioning it because, let’s say, having oral sex with your best male friend just does not play into what we’re supposed to do.  You can’t change the fact that you did it any more than you can keep  telling yourself that you really didn’t like it – and, yes, it’s easy to do that retrospectively and even that can’t change the fact you were sucking dick and having fun doing it.

And that even goes for those folks who never did anything about what they were feeling; you know you had the feelings and felt the thrill of it even as you tried to deny all of it – and all because it supposedly doesn’t fit with that which we’re supposed to do.  I know the feeling all too well because I struggled with this… until I asked myself if it made sense for me to struggle with it… and I learned that it didn’t.  Just because I was all for being able to have sex with men and women didn’t really clash with those things I was supposed to be and, yeah, at a very high level of thought, it was all about accepting that, yep, I did it, I liked doing it, I still like doing it either way and that’s not likely to change even though I’m expected and required to be attracted to women, fall in love with one, marry her, fuck her, impregnate her, and then be a hard-working and dutiful father… which I did, by the way.  Easy-peasy, right?

Self-validation, which is very important, by the way, is all about a couple of facts:  This is the person you are… so how does the person you are do the things that are supposed to be done and as smoothly as possible while have those bisexual feelings lurking around?  I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it:  Being bisexual isn’t always about doing something about it; if you can do something, fine but if you can’t, well, you just can’t.  The one thing you do have to do – and even if it’s my own opinion and for whatever that might be worth – is to accept that this is who you are and then own it… then focus on being that husband or father, the hard-working dude at work or whatever life demands that you do  It’s not really about that which you’re supposed to do – it’s about what you, being bisexual and all that, can do and, well, just because you like pussy and dick really doesn’t have much to do with one’s desire to be a spouse or a parent or a hard-working son-of-a-bitch; you can do all of this and still be bisexual even if all you can do about it is think and/or feel.

So when you’re going through this self-validation thing, it’s about not lying to yourself and, for the moment, not paying any attention to the shit we’re taught that men are supposed to do – that’ll come later, trust me.  You ask yourself some hard questions and answer them truthfully:

  1. Do you have certain feelings for both men and women?
  2. Have you ever had the sex and, at the time you had it, enjoyed the shit out of it?
  3. If you’ve never had the sex, uh, would you like to?  Does the thought of doing what you’ve only been thinking about thrill the shit out of you?
  4. If you’ve done it, would you do it again if you could?

Maybe it’s just my opinion but if you can answer these questions truthfully, then validating yourself or, really, accepting this thing about yourself isn’t all that difficult to do; it just gets difficult when you get around to factoring in all that shit we, as men, are supposed to do and, mainly, be straight and focus your lust only on women… which you already know isn’t going on in your head because you’ve already truthfully admitted that women aren’t the only people who can get your dick hard and get your lust raging inside you.  Let’s face it:  If you can’t be honest with yourself, how the fuck can you be honest with anyone else?  A friend once told me that while you can, in fact, lie to everyone else, there’s really only so much lying you can do with and to yourself and this is true about every aspect of life… so why not be honest with yourself?  Yes, it’s hard to admit this to yourself because, um, you were taught that you’re not supposed to have those other thoughts and feelings… which, factually, doesn’t change the fact that you do have them, does it?  But if you’re really and truly about doing those things that, as men, we’re supposed to do – that husband and father thing – well, you can do that, can’t you?

At some point – and, again, maybe it’s just me – you just have to see the logic of the situation.  Yes, you’re bisexual – a lot of people are despite the fact that it’s uncool – but what does that have to do with anything?  You’d still be that boyfriend, husband, father even if you weren’t bisexual, right?  Even gay men still want to be a boyfriend, a husband and, yes, even a father… so sexuality, such as it is, shouldn’t be a deterrent to that which you’re supposed to do unless, of course, you keep lying to yourself about yourself and letting that self-deception get in the way of you doing those expected things.

Despite what we’ve been told, being bisexual is just as much a part of being alive as being straight is; maybe you didn’t ask for these “extra” feelings but so what?  You didn’t ask to be born, did you?  I know I didn’t ask to be bisexual… but it doesn’t change the fact that I am.  I tried lying to myself, tried telling myself that all that shit I did – from being introduced to having a outright field day doing all that dirt – was all kid stuff, that none of it had any meaning to me as an adult because it wasn’t supposed to mean anything… which, my friends, is pretty hard to do when you’re 21, thinking about what I’m supposed to be doing… and while sucking the shit out of some guy’s dick and loving every damned second of it.  It’s really hard to deny being bisexual when the evidence is all right there in your head… but validating one’s self – accepting this about one’s self – gets to be a major hassle because despite the evidence within us, we just want to deny it – we keep lying to ourselves about it and, yes, because we do this, it just makes “doing the right things” harder to do.

When the whole trick is for you to be the best person you can be and despite the cards that life has dealt you.  I’m bisexual and I accept that I am and everything that being bisexual comes with be it good, bad, or indifferent – it’s the cards life has dealt me so now it’s all about doing the things I want and need to do to the best of my abilities and that includes managing my sexuality at every level.  I know that had I not done my self-validation/acceptance thing, my head would be so fucked up… well, more than it already is (depending on who you talk to); I’d be spending an inordinate amount of time trying to sort my thoughts and feelings out and more so when those thoughts and feelings don’t match that list of shit I’m supposed to be doing and, in turn, spending less time doing the shit I’m supposed to be doing.  It creates a conflict that doesn’t have to exist in the first place if one can accept their sexuality as quickly as possible and understand that regardless of your bisexuality, you still have to do the things you’re supposed to be doing.

Oh, and by the way, I don’t need any external validation, meaning I don’t have to prove myself to anyone other than myself.  Part of the thing that can make self-validation difficult is the thoughts others have that unless you do X, Y, or Z, then you’re not bisexual or some other nonsense and, really, if they’re not bisexual, how would they know in the first place… unless there’s something about them they’re not telling you?  To that end, it’s not what someone else thinks about it – it’s about what you think and, yep, you self-validate, you’re bisexual because you say you are and because you know that you are.  Now, if someone wants to disagree with your assessment of yourself, okay, it’s a free country… but just because they don’t believe it doesn’t mean you have to share in their disbelief.  And I get why “outsiders” think you’re not validated unless you do X, Y, and Z… and it’s because they don’t know about the cerebral side of being bisexual, the myriad thoughts and feelings flowing through your mind that, in fact, makes all the difference in the world when it comes to validating one’s self.

Everyone around you has the right not to like it and they will try to invalidate you and if you let them, well, that’s a problem, ain’t it?  Self-validation just ain’t all about what you may or may not do… but it is all about what you think about yourself.  Like I said earlier, you can make this harder on yourself by continuing to lie to yourself about the facts that are inside your head so if accepting your bisexuality is a problem, well, you just might be the reason why validating and accepting yourself is such a pain in the ass.  I tend to say that it is what it is… and it is… but you can tailor it to fit the way you want and need to live – you can own this.  It’s my contention that once you can get to this part, whatever internal fussing you have going on can be cut down to, at the very least, a dull roar.  You can say, just as I do, “I am bisexual… but that’s not ever gonna stop me from doing what I have to do.”  I know, just as you might be aware, that there are too many people who just don’t like bisexuals and, really, I don’t know about y’all but I just have too many other important things to worry about than a bunch of people who are hating on me.  My sexuality might be a problem for me at times… but because I own this shit, nah, anyone who tries to foist their problems with sexuality on me will be summarily ignored.

It’s my life and I get to run this shit and in the best way I see fit to do it and that includes my sexuality.  I am what I am and it’s not that hard to accept this… once I put my mind to it and, honestly, I didn’t see where I had a choice to do anything other than accept it unless, of course, I’m a glutton for self-punishment or otherwise love to create drama for myself.  I don’t have to act on whatever I’m thinking and feeling which, by the way, also validates the fact that I’m as bisexual as the day is long but at the end of this day – and any other – I’m still very much bisexual even if it’s just in my head.

And I accept that and if anyone reading this hasn’t accepted this, then what are you waiting for?  I can understand having to fuss with someone over my sexuality but the one person I’m not ever gonna fuss with is myself… because I know the truth about me even if no one else does and if I know the truth, then I’ve validated myself in this.  Can it make life interesting?  Yep, it sure can but now it’s about taking things in stride and, importantly, getting the thought out of your mind that you can’t be what you know yourself to be – and then because society (and all that social conditioning we underwent) says that we shouldn’t be or can’t be… which never changes the fact that you are.

It can be done because it has to be done even if for your own peace of mind and, bluntly, if you can’t do it, no one can ever do it for you.

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Posted by on 22 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Biting the Big One

So… after some wistful thoughts about turning sixty in a couple of days, I then saw a video clip – on Tumblr, of course – of a guy spanking his rather nice monkey… and I was instantly reminded why I love being bisexual so much because the moment I laid eyes on the dude’s cock, I thought, “Yeah… I’d suck him until he cried for his mother…”

I mean, if you’re down with it, how could you not get a thrill just thinking about sucking cock?  Yeah, yeah – I know all the downsides to it but those things aside – and if you can even put them aside – is there anything better than closing your mouth around a nice, hard cock and with the evil intent to make it a pitiful, soft one again?  Oh, wait… there is one thing better than that – eating pussy but I’m not talking about that right now.

The guy in the video clip had my undivided attention as he stroked himself off; I found that I liked the size of his cock, the shape of his knob and it was of a thickness that would guarantee a mouthful of hard dick.  I suppose the clip was edited to show his, ah, final moments – but that was fine because the eruption he had was nice, enough to know you were taking sperm into your mouth but not so much to cause any concern.  I closed Tumblr so I could move on to the next app I routinely check and I found myself smiling at all the rather filthy thoughts I had about that dude’s dick; I was even debating on whether or not I’d take my time with it so I could savor everything there is to savor about sucking dick… or whether or not I’d just come right out and wreak all sorts of oral havoc on his meat and without much in the way of mercy.  Ultimately, I sealed his fate – at least in my mind because it’s very damned unlikely I’d get a crack at him; I just knew I’d do both things to him; the first to show off my skill and my love for sucking cock, the second to introduce him to the beast that lives inside me, the one who is just so totally apeshit about sucking cock and eating pussy until their respective owners beg for mercy and, my favorite, look at me as if I just tried to kill them.

Which is pretty much the idea, to be honest.  See, those of you who don’t suck cock – and those of you who might have a lot of reservations about doing it – just cannot imagine how fucking good it is to suck dick.  It’s not as much about oral fixation as it is a sensual rush that defies description; it’s one of those things that I’ve repeated said is all about using his prick to feed your inner beast and all because it feels damned good to have feeding time.  If ya wanted to be PC about it, sure, his satisfaction plays into it… but, on the other hand, fuck him – if he’s having fun that’s all well and good but I’m going to have fun at his expense whether or not he enjoys it or not.  And, yeah, if he somehow didn’t have fun the first time – and I did – well, let’s just do it again, shall we?

Man, it’s so good being a bisexual man!  For a moment, I felt a twinge of sympathy for all my bisexual brothers who haven’t had the pleasure of biting the big one; I felt another momentary twinge for all those guys who are so very much afraid to have a dick in their mouth but the twinge passes quickly as I smile and think that there are a lot of dudes who are too afraid to suck dick – but they wouldn’t hesitate to bury their face in a woman’s pussy; sucking and licking her clit, fellas, really ain’t that different from doing the same thing to a dick, the comparative size notwithstanding so, um, ya might be surprised at how good you’d be sucking dick.

I sighed happily to myself and simply because I know what it’s like to suck cock and eat pussy and, damn, just the thought of it gives me delicious chills.  I thought for a moment about that difference between liking and loving it; if ya just like it, eh, maybe it’s not that big of a thrill and more so if you’re more prone to doing it out of that sense of obligation and duty.  But if ya love it, well, shit, I can’t imagine how being able to eat pussy and bite the big one can get to be any better except for maybe being able to avail yourself of both these tasty treats at the same sitting.  Fuck, my mind was so deep in the gutter about the feel of man’s dick in my mouth, I couldn’t remember what I had to do on my iPad for a moment; again, those of you who ain’t feeling this just have no idea what it’s like and since you don’t, you can’t imagine how distracting the mere thought of it can be.

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Posted by on 21 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Mighty Cents Worth

The greatest site in all the land!

Penny's Dirty Thoughts

Penny's blog of sex related writing and photography

Journey of MsT

"His breath took me in..."


Join us for an excursion into intelligent indulgence...

Tanya's Embassy for Transgender Girls

I'm a transgender girl happily on a journey to looking better, being more feminized and overcoming adversity. Whether in your teens or way beyond, if you’re a transgender girl, this is for you. Like an embassy in a hostile land, this is the place to gain strength, to get empowering information and to belong. I made this place based on what I've learned; I hope it helps you. Welcome home.

bisou bi bisou

Bisexual Bible: Setting it straight the gay way

So the world be

Just some general musings from a queer woman about life, sexuality, and everything in between


Art. Film. Gluten-Free. History. Design. Bisexuality.


liberating the ways people love, experience the Erotic, and connect to the Sacred


One Woman's Late-Blooming Sexual Journey

Wet Bliss

Mature Content 18+ Adults Only...........................Beautiful Loving Intense Sexual Sensations


and I'm ragequitting

Life of Bi

This blog is about my life, and what is happening.


A young feminist lost in New Orleans


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