Tarnishedsoul (http://tarnishedsoul.wordpress.com) wrote a piece in response to someone asking him how he does it with a guy, which he felt was really, “How could you do it with a guy?” It’s a question that a guy might face if he comes out or gets outed and it’s time to face the music… and it’s not gonna be pleasing to the ear.
In a way, it amazes me that someone can ask this question and as if they have no idea why two guys would want to go to bed with each other. I know that it’s really not a case of them having no clue – it’s a matter of what becomes a conflict in their mind, i.e., what one believes versus the hard slap in the face reality. To some, there is absolutely no reason for “Ed” and “Fred” to do the nasty with each other, not when – theoretically – there are too many women ready, wiling, and able to supply sex.
While this is theoretically correct, sometimes the Ed and Fred situation just isn’t about a lack of feminine consort; it is not about a decline in, ah, current bedroom activities, and not about a lot of things one can legitimately select as a reason why Ed and Fred would want to, um, inseminate each other. Sometimes, it’s really rather simple: Ed and Fred are playing hide the sausage with each other because it can be done, because it’s sexually satisfying, and the sexual interaction resonates with them emotionally and at levels that aren’t easy to explain to a pissed off wife or girlfriend, let alone other acquaintances who believe that taking this particular trip ain’t even necessary.
How does one answer this question? Like I said, it’s not easy – well, wait a moment: Sometimes the explanation is easy but to the person asking the question, the answer is extremely difficult to accept. Having such conversations taught me an interesting concept, that being, when logic faces emotions, logic tends to lose. Answering this question can be done with unimpeachable, flawless logic… and the person you’re answering can, in fact, see the logic and follow it intelligently. Still, the emotional reaction is very powerful and since those emotions tend to be negative in nature, they gain even more power and enough for a logical explanation to be totally ignored.
In a book I’ve been repeatedly reading – and because it’s really good – the main character makes a statement that can be related to this: “I ignored the evidence of my own eyes and clung to dogma instead of adapting to new understanding.” In other words, some of us tend to trust and stick to what we believe rather than to accept something that challenges what we believe or is very different from that which we believe. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing… but it makes answering this question for someone frustrating since most people believe that Ed and Fred should never even think about having sex with each other, let alone having the unmitigated gall to actually do it and more so when, theoretically, there’s plenty of pussy to be had.
Collectively, we know that men sex other men and women sex other women – the evidence of this is overwhelming and damned obvious and our intelligence picks up on this easily enough, doesn’t it? Doesn’t change the fact that it runs counter to what we believe and since it does, the subject question comes up and the answer is deemed to not make a lot of sense.
“How can you suck a man’s dick and like it?” Typical question in this situation and one could answer, “How can you eat liver and onions?” or, better, “Why do you suck dick and like it?” (If you’re having this conversation with a woman, mind you…) The answer: “Because I like it!” This answer is the same answer to the question… but it’s deemed to be unacceptable because we believe that it shouldn’t be done even though we know it’s being done.
Kinda gives you a headache, doesn’t it? Now, there are folks who, upon hearing the answer, well, they get it and they do understand what’s at play here. Cityman, in our discussions about this, feels that a lot of the angst about this can be put to rest if everyone were to be understanding about this… but, as I’ve said, understanding that men and women do this (and despite or in addition to the straight sex they’re having) and accepting it just aren’t the same things.