Many, many years ago, I was talking to a guy I knew and asking him how his weekend went. He said it was okay, mentioned that he’d gone to the club to hang out and meet women – the usual stuff. He got quiet for moment then blurted out, “Some dude hit on me and asked me if he could suck my dick! Ain’t that some shit?”
“I suppose,” I said – I really wasn’t surprised by that and if for no other reason than I know how some guys can get when they’ve gotten a few drinks under their belt. “I’ve had it happen to me – what about it?”
He got a little quieter as he looked around for a moment before asking, “Should I have said yes?”
Hmm. I stood there for a moment looking at him, thinking about what I knew about him and remembering that the word on the street was that he and the woman he’d been seeing had broken up a few months ago. He was waiting for me to say something and instead of gleefully telling him that he should have agreed to the blow job and reveled in it, I kinda played it safe and responded with, “I dunno… I’m guess that if you’re asking that question, it’s crossed your mind that maybe you should have.”
“But that’s some gay ass shit!” he said.
“Not all guys who give head are gay, you know,” I said with a smile. “I notice you didn’t confirm or deny that saying yes crossed your mind.”
If he could have blushed, he would have blushed an interesting shade of red. “Yeah, when I got back to the crib, I did think that maybe I should have said yes,” he admitted. “What would you have done?”
“This isn’t about me,” I said – you just gotta love how people will push something back on you to keep from saying anything that could be potentially incriminating. “But since you asked, if some dude rolled up on me at the club and hit on me like that – and depending on how he did it – I might have said yes… or not.”
“You’d let some dude blow you?” he asked, his shock rather obvious.
“I have,” I said, watching my answer deepen his sense of shock; back then, I wasn’t beyond doing shit like that just to see how someone would react.
“Well, damn,” he said, shaking his head. Now, at this point, I was expecting him to say that I didn’t look like the type or that he didn’t know I was down like that… but he surprised me by asking, “What was it like?”
“I had no reason to complain – homey was pretty damned good at it,” I replied.
“But how… why…?” He was baffled.
“The why is easy – I like having my dick sucked,” I said with a shrug. “Doesn’t really matter who’s doing it.”
He blinked twice before he asked, “Did you, um, did you blow him?”
“No,” I answered truthfully and what I didn’t tell him that I had wanted to return the favor but he wasn’t about having the favor returned. “But what does any of that have to do with you thinking that you should have said yes?”
“But you ain’t gay, man!” he said.
“Of course I’m not gay,” I said. “Who says you have to be gay for a dude to give you some head?”
“But… but…” he stuttered.
“Look, man, maybe you should have let him suck your dick, maybe you did the right thing by telling him thanks but no, thanks. When you get all retrospective about something, it’s easy to say what you would have said or done and more so when, in fact, whatever you’re thinking about never happened. And, no – it doesn’t make a difference what anyone else would have said or done in that situation but it does make a difference where what you’re thinking is concerned,” I replied – and, yes, that evil part of me was giggling like an idiot seeing him all flustered; hey, I never said I was always a nice guy, okay?
“The question you should be asking yourself is if you ran into him or some other guy asking to suck your dick, how will you answer them?” I offered for his consideration. “You gotta know that you ain’t the only guy who’s been hit on like that… and while you’re not the only guy who has said no, there are some guys who say yes, get their dick sucked, bust a nut, and go on about their business.”
“Why would they do that?” he asked. Ah, his confusion was so delicious!
“It’s a blow job, dude,” I said. “Who doesn’t like getting their dick sucked? The only reason why a guy would consent to being blown by another guy is, um, because he wants and needs to have his dick sucked so he can get off.”
“So if some dude rolled up right now and asked if he could suck your dick, you’d say yes?” he asked.
“I told you this ain’t about me or what I’d do,” I reminded him. “But, sure – if I felt like a blow job was just what the doctor ordered right about now, I’d let him blow me; wouldn’t be the first time and it probably wouldn’t be the last time. But the question is still valid: If some dude rolled up right now and asked you if he could suck your dick, how would you respond?”
“Should I say yes?” he asked.
“That depends on a couple of things, like, do you need to have your dick sucked and do you really care who’s doing it?” I asked. At this point, I will tell y’all that it was, um, kinda obvious that if nothing else, his body thought it was a good idea given that a blind person could have seen that his dick was very hard trapped in his pants. “Look, man, it happens; a whole lot of dudes find a reason to do something that everybody thinks shouldn’t ever happen and like I said, not all of the guys who’d polish your dome for you are gay.”
“I love pussy!” he exclaimed. “I’m all about the twat!”
“Okay… so why are we having this conversation?” I countered. “Like I said, you must be thinking that you should have said yes.”
“Why the fuck would I have said some shit like that?” he asked.
I looked around – don’t ask me why – and said, “I know you and home girl broke up a while ago and I’m pretty sure that if you were getting some pussy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and, believe it or not, dudes in this situation would gladly whip his shit out and let some dude suck on it.”
“I ain’t that desperate!” he said and just a bit heatedly.
“As you say… but, again, I’m guessing you thought about it after the fact because if you weren’t trying to answer the question of whether or not you should have said yes, we still wouldn’t be talking about this, would we?” I said.
“I fucking hate you sometimes,” he said and without any real malice behind his statement. “Yeah, I thought about it when I got home and, um, maybe I should have let him do it.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” I said with a laugh.
“You must think I’m some kind of freak,” he said, looking down at his feet.
“I think you’re one of many guys who manages to understand that getting your dick sucked by another dude might not be as bad as everyone says it’s supposed to be,” I said. “So you’re thinking and realizing that you should have let him blow you – believe me, it’s not all that unusual! The thing is what might you do if the situation comes up again?”
“Man, I gotta say that you don’t look like the type who’d be down for some shit like that,” he said, finally uttering the silly statement I had been anticipating earlier.
“What does the type look like?” I asked. “The type can look like anybody, home skillet… and before you even ask, no – I’m not gonna tell anyone that we had this conversation.”
We went our separate ways a few minutes later. As I recall, I saw him again two weeks later and when I saw his face light up, I knew he had something to tell me. After the usual greetings, he looked around and said, “Yo, man, you were right!”
“What was I right about?” I asked.
“I ran into that same dude again at the club and we were rapping and sipping on some drinks… and he asked me if he could suck my dick… and I told him that he could,” he said and whispering like someone other than myself was gonna hear him – there wasn’t a soul within a hundred yards of us.
“And?” I prompted.
“Man… I ain’t never had my dick sucked like that!” he blurted out.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was gonna be, huh?” I said while trying not to laugh at how excited and animated he’d become.
“I know some babes that could take lessons from him,” he said; again, if you could see him blush, it would have been spectacular. “But check this out – he wasn’t some gay dude!”
“Didn’t I tell you that not all dudes who suck dick are – or have to be – gay?” I asked.
“Dude’s married with five kids, he told me,” he said, shaking his head.
I just shrugged because none of that information surprised me one bit.
“I fucking hate your ass sometimes,” he said, lightly punching me in the chest.
“For what?” I asked.
“For being right, ya smart ass motherfucker,” he said.
“It is what it is, man,” I said, giving him a light punch in the arm. “I’m thinking that at first, you were scared and nervous but since you’d committed to it, you went with it; he started sucking on you and you realized that, damn, this shit is good! But I’m also thinking that after you busted a nut, you felt kinda bad… but you also realized that it didn’t kill you and, importantly, it didn’t turn you into a flaming fag.”
His eyes flew open widely. “How’d you know that?”
“It’s how most guys react the first time they experience this… and, no, don’t even think about asking me if I did – this ain’t about me! Just trust that I know what I’m talking about, okay?”
“I fucking…,” he began but I cut him off.
“Yeah, yeah, I know you can’t stand my ass,” I said with a laugh.
“Um, ah, I sucked his dick,” he said quietly.
“Okay; can I say that I’m not surprised and you don’t get offended?” I asked. “Wait, let me tell you why you did and you can tell me whether I’m right or not. He’s going down on you like a fiend and the next thing you know, you’ve got your hand around his dick and you’re pumping it… and at some point, you wanted to put your mouth on his dick because, really, how bad of a thing could it be and more so since homey was blowing your brains out like his life depended on it? And you just went for it and, hmm, it didn’t kill you and it wasn’t really all that bad.”
“I’m through with you,” he said. “You said that shit like you were there watching it!”
“I know how it can and usually does go,” I said. “Like I said, you ain’t the only guy I know who’s been through this and you ain’t saying anything that I haven’t heard them – and a whole lot of other guys – say.”
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Yes, I suck dick, if that’s what you want to know,” I answered, anticipating his question.
“I told you I knew what I was talking about, didn’t I?” I asked.
Again, we parted ways and as we did so, I felt a sense of… satisfaction to know that another man had discovered that throwing it down with another dude wasn’t as horrible as everyone said it was. I was thinking that, sure, a lot of guys will do this when they’re at their wit’s end – there’s not a woman within a hundred miles who’d consent to having sex with them and while jerking off can take the edge off, it doesn’t hold a candle to being in a moment when you’re doing something sexual with someone else… and even if that someone else happens to be another guy.
It happens. It has always happened. It’s happening right now somewhere in the world… and it will keep happening as more and more men – and even women – come to understand that there’s more to this sex thing than we’ve been led to believe and it’s not about being gay or whatever.
It’s about being human.