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Author Archives: kdaddy23

About kdaddy23

Not really sure what to say; there's a lot about me that can be said but the basic thing is that I'm just a guy with a lot of things on my mind that I need to get said. I have to add that if you're not old enough to deal with adult issues or you find them offensive, you might want to stay out of my head...

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: For BLake

BLake, a new reader and commenter, asked me a bunch of questions – which I don’t mind, BLake, so don’t apologize for asking them – and so many that it was better I write something specifically for him to answer them.  First, how I got on this path, something I’ve written about before but you’d have to read three years worth of stuff to find it all.

When I was nine, a drunken friend of my father paid me to let him put his cock in my mouth and more to put it in my butt… and since visions of all the candy and comic books I could buy danced in my head – but despite knowing that boys didn’t do this stuff to other boys – I agreed… and got instantly hooked just as I did when, a year earlier, a girl showed me how to put my dick in her and move it in and out.

As the folks who’ve been with me for a while already know, I went batshit crazy having sex with boys and girls and having the time of my life but my curiosity was insisting that I figure out what this was all about – at the time, I didn’t even know the word “bisexual” existed but what I knew was that, hell, yeah, this was too much fun.  Then I started my quest to learn all I could about this forbidden thing I’d been doing and eventually found the definition of bisexual which, at the time, was defined as a physical, emotional, or sexual attraction to males and females.  Okay, even at the age I was when I discovered this word, it made perfectly good sense… but there were still many questions that had to be answered… and a lot more sex to be had.

Attraction.  As you probably know, that word covers a lot of things and doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone even though there’s a generally accepted meaning.  Girls attracted me big time – their looks, their bodies, the way they walked and talked, and things they thought about.  But even back then, I knew I didn’t have the same attraction to men and that my attraction was more sexual than anything else – but it didn’t mean that I didn’t like guys – I had my share of male friends – or that I didn’t know a good looking guy when I saw on – some of my male friends were damned handsome.  But dealing with girls and trying to get into their panties taught me something, that the definition of attraction I had was too general because I believed, just like every guy did, that a pretty girl was attractive and the one that should be pursued and then learned what they meant by “beauty’s only skin deep…” and my experiences with guys were bearing the same fruit but, again, I knew that I could see a good looking guy and not feel a need to get into his pants and after making a fair amount of mistakes, I saw that the generally accepted notions of attractions weren’t uniform and had to be refined to fit my perceptions.

So I stopped reading books by their covers, stopped believing the things guys would say in order to get me naked, and started looking deeper and at the other things, in particular, their mindset, something that a lot of people (at the time) didn’t pay much attention to; they’d be blinded by what they saw, left themselves open to being tricked into having sex and, before I turned 16, well, that which I found attractive took on a different meaning and I was learning that the most attractive thing was a guy who shared the same or similar sexual desires but in a way that matched up more with how I was looking at having sex with other guys.

Even then, learned some tough lesson about all of this and, importantly, about myself; while I had an aesthetic appreciation for “beauty” – like what I said about Roman Reigns – what was the real attraction for me to having sex with men?  Looks wasn’t it; I’d learned to look past the book’s cover.  Was it emotional?  Like some guys, I didn’t even think that was possible until I fell in love with a guy but in the whole, nah; I could like a guy a lot and to the point where I’d even think about hitting on him and hoping he’d hit on me… but it was the sex possible that really got me cranked up.  I saw while the definition of bisexual that I carried with me had a world of possibilities, years of introspective inspection – along with trying to figure out if I was really gay – made it clear to me that what attracted me to men was the sex, that opportunity to suck cock, swallow sperm and, at that time, fuck and be fucked; anything else was just window dressing.

“Joe” might be a handsome guy and he might even have a big dick, all nice things to look at to be sure… but what would be attractive was what was going on in his head; how did he see himself, how did he see the world in general, why did he like having sex with guys, and other such things that became more important to me than that which is superficial and I had learned the hard way about believing the bullshit and learned how to find out what I needed to know in order to get naked with him.  Most of the time I found it, many times I didn’t – nothing unusual here.

But as I talked to more bisexual guys, I’d see how they saw things,mass how frustrated they often were and even how a handsome face, smoking body, and silky smooth approach would, more often than not, made them realize that giving themselves to such a guy was a mistake they greatly regretted… and I wanted to know why.  In a lot of ways, we are not all that different from women when it comes to wanting the things we want that’ll make us happy campers, including someone having an interest in us that’s more than just sexual.  Many of the guys I talked to about this (and even had sex with) were usually  frustrated because finding a guy who resonated with them and according to whatever criteria they used was difficult and I learned that because they relied on physical attraction as a catalyst, hmm, maybe they were making it hard for guys to bed them by having very exacting standard, up to and including “being into” each other.

I had learned that, nope, I didn’t have to be into a guy to get naked with him; if he wanted to and I wanted to and I felt I could trust him – and my gut instinct – then it was on and rather gloriously so, I might add.  And it’s pretty much always worked for me and, yes, sometimes I guessed wrong but not often; some guys just feel “wrong” even though all of the attraction factors are there and I learned to, again, trust my instincts and ability to read people to keep me away from the guys with the bad vibe.

I had my first male experience in 1964 when the notions of bisexuality that exist right now did not exist and he people making these assertions were not even born… and maybe their parents hadn’t been born.  I have seen, over these decades, a pattern of behavior and one based on superficial attraction and where being into someone is mandatory for sex to happen… and while I don’t discount any of that, I know that the generally accepted notions of that whichever is attractive are not as mandatory as everyone says they are.  I don’t know how many men I’ve talked to who have said that if they’re not attracted to a guy or feel some kind of chemistry between them, no deal… and we all tend to behave like this, don’t we, even when we find out that our exacting standards in this made us miss golden opportunities – and this works for men and women.  Guys don’t want to screw the “ugly” girls, do they?  They don’t wanna screw the not so handsome, small cock guys either.

And if/when they fail to find those things they’re looking for, it’s clear to me – and if to no one else – that attraction and all those things connected with this is overrated, that we can rely too much on that which we see to get us revved up for sex and, yeah, even that the sex has to have some other meaning that’s deeper than the obvious:  Getting your cock sucked feels good.  Period.  At the root of all of this is desire and then not erecting too many barriers between you and that which you desire.  To a lot of people, I’m not bisexual because a hot guy doesn’t make my dick hard and I have no romantic interests in men at all.  Yet, for 52 of my 60 years, I have been intimate on every level possible with both men and women – I just don’t follow or, sometimes, agree with what this “new” definition of what bisexuality is and what it means to be bisexual.

Good looks don’t impress me; big cocks don’t impress me; I don’t need or require “being into” anymore than I need to be in a relationship with a guy to want to throw down with him.  What I need is desire and trust; the desire is easy because I always want to have sex any time, any place, and damned near anyone – if the trust is there and sometimes it isn’t for either mentor women.  Am I bisexual?  Damned right I am and always have been since that fateful day I had a cock in my mouth and got that first taste of another man’s sperm and, later, felt it seeping out of my butt.  It wasn’t better than sex with girls – and it still isn’t – but damn, this is still way too much fun.

And since I am responsible for my satisfaction in these things, if I want to have fun, then it’s on me to remove as many barriers I can in order to have as much fun as I can.  Could I love a guy?  Yeah, I did before so I’d be an idiot to assume it would never happen again.  Do I need love to give a guy some head?  No.  Does he have to be drop-dead handsome?  Nope.  Dick down to his knees?  Nope.  Have to be in a relationship with him to express my sexual desires?  Not even.  What I really need is to be willing and able to do it… and I’ve always been that… but I’m not careless (anymore, anyway) and far from stupid about these things.  I just don’t need a whole lot to get naked and have sex… with anyone, male or female.

Do I recognize and understand that other bisexual men (and even women) require these things?  I do… but because I do not put a lot of stock in these things doesn’t make me any less bisexual.  I say I’m not your “typical” bisexual because I’m not – and I know I’m not the only atypical bi guy because, um, I’ve slept with a lot of them over all this time. I am, in fact, mentoring a guy who is as atypical as I am and we are learning much from each other.  Do I make gay men insane?  Yeah, and they’ve not been shy about telling me how crazy I make them because while I share their sexual desire for men, I don’t share their motivations.  Doesn’t seem to stop them from wanting to bed me, though, and I’m good with that.  When I need love and all those nice things, women work for me in a most excellent way.  I don’t require that to, say, give you a blow job; I just gotta like and trust you enough.

I don’t fit today’s description of a bisexual because I was bisexual before it ever came to be.  I even know that the people supporting this definition are not, in fact, bisexual, and that many who are actually use heterosexual guidelines to determine whether they’re really bisexual and to justify their need for the sex that’s possible.  If that works for them, all well and good… but when I write or talk about this, yep, I will point out that I am and have been bisexual for a very long time and without these “mandatory” requirements they say define bisexuality.  I relate to women one way and to men in another – it’s not 50/50 by any stretch of the imagination… and it’s not supposed to be because you define what this means to you instead of letting others define it for you and more so if they aren’t – and can’t – be bisexual.

I’m sexually attracted to men and as “shameful” as this is being seen today – that “hearts not parts” thing in play – I own this attraction and without one bit of shame.  I might be attracted to your personality; ya might even be a hunk and even these things might not literally get a rise out of me.  Offer me your cock… and watch what happens next if I trust you.  What I need is the desire and I have that in spades, BLake; everything and anything else is gravy for me:  Nice to have but not always necessary.

Questions?

 
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Posted by on 27 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Redefining What’s Real

When I was growing up, I was raised to be a man and all that meant in the mid-1950s.  Men do this, don’t do that – you’ve probably heard it or some version of it, right?  The “training” is one thing, what you actually experience while you’re trying to apply that training can vary, oh, like finding out that having sex with boys – a girly thing to do – was as much fun as having sex with girls, for instance.  Thus, there’s a deviation from the path that isn’t exactly allowed but should, in my opinion, be expected… because children don’t always do as they’re told.  Still, as long as you don’t stray too far from the path and you learn the lessons taught in “man school,” eh, you’ll be okay.

Somewhere along the line, the question of, “What is a real man and what is he supposed to do?” came up and I spent a lot of time listening to women offering their own definitions of what a man is supposed to be from their points of view and those definitions were all over the place and rarely matched what I was taught.  Then men chimed in with their take on what a real man was… and the matching up of things got a little closer to what women were saying… but I was hearing some stuff that had me saying, “Really?” and as if I had missed a lesson somewhere along the line.

Over the following years, the definition of a “real man” kept shifting; some things were common sense, like, real men don’t beat on women, some were kinda wacky, like, real men obey their woman without argument or question – we called that being pussy-whipped when I was growing up and real men never let this happen.  A lot of what a real man was supposed to be was purely idealistic and wishful thinking because how real of a man you were was dependent on what you were taught and then what life would throw at you at any time and, there was never true congruence between what women thought a real man should be and what men thought, i.e., real men lavish whatever riches they have on women to keep them loyal and faithful versus real men have to beat their woman into submission to keep her in check – and if you’ve ever seen “The Color Purple,” you know this lunacy is very old.  Anyway…

I’d say that, oh, about ten years or so ago, a new definition of what a real man was showed up.  On one hand, it was more in line with what women expected of us – love them, care for them and any children involved, don’t abuse them, respect them, give them your all and they will give their all to you, and other things… including one I don’t think women and some men didn’t see coming:  Real men have sex with other men.  Allow me to once again digress a bit…

When I was growing up and in man school, real men did not screw other men and if they did – and they most certainly did – then they weren’t men:  They were faggots, sissies, punks, queers, freaks, and any other descriptor that doesn’t lend itself to the epitome of what a real man is and does.  These sentiments, along with real life examples of how vicious we can be toward each other, sent a lot of men who liked sex with men deep underground and made it an imperative that no matter what they were doing when no one was looking, if you saw “Dan,” you only saw a real man as defined in man school.

Jumping ahead but to those ten or so years ago, while visiting “that site” you’ve heard me rant about, I was chatting with a guy who, at first, I was really interested in spending a couple of hours with and sucking his dick when he started making noises that insisted that if I didn’t let him put his really big dick in my ass, then I wasn’t a real man… and this conversation is over.  I read his words and really thought, “What the fuck?” – I was genuinely dumbstruck because until that moment, I’d never heard any shit like that before.  I had spent my formative years being told and hearing that if you let another man suck your dick or fuck you in the ass, you weren’t a man at all, even though I had figured out some time ago that you could do these things and still do all the stuff required by man school… but until that moment, I really believe it was my own unique take on things.

Seems I was wrong about that.  More and more, I’d be on “that site” hoping to find a dick attached to a decent guy but was seeing more and more men stating in their profiles that only real men should bother to hit them up, effeminate men need not apply, and further qualifying their position by saying that if you weren’t willing to suck them off then have your ass split wide open – and without any reciprocation at all, nope, you weren’t a real man, you faggoty, punk-assed bitch.

Wait, wait… what the fuck just happened?  I’d heard of role reversal before… but this?  When did one’s manliness start being determined by these criteria?  Yeah… I believed you had to be a man – to have really manly guts – to get naked with a dude and have sex with him but this “new” definition had a seriously ugly and dangerous edge to it instead of the calm acceptance that, okay, I can have sex with men and women but it doesn’t make me less of a man because with this one exception, I was still doing the things I learned in man school all those decades ago.

Okay, yes, I’ll confess again that effeminate men made me insane… didn’t stop me from having sex with them and thanks to some things I saw growing up, I never forgot that despite their behavior, they were still men and “effeminate” doesn’t mean passive or submissive and more so if you pissed them off.

Then I learned about the “thug life” and the creed associated with it and I read the manifesto with great interest and found that it actually matched up with the things I’d learned so long ago… with one interesting exception, that being what “bros before hos” really meant.  On the surface, it meant that men should not allow women to get between them and their male friends – and, no offense ladies, there were a lot of women hooking up with guys and demanding they cut their ties with their male friends and some women were going out of their way to sabotage friendships – and I fell victim to this myself, sad to say.  So, to support male bonding and unity, a real man doesn’t let a woman stop him from having male friends and firmly – but gently – stand by his right to have male friends.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?  Any man who has had a woman break up his friendships with other guys or had a long time friendship ended by his boy’s woman knows exactly what I’m talking about.  Enter the other, hidden meaning behind “bros before hos…”  The manifesto I read stated that to be a real man and in the spirit of male bonding and brotherly love for each other, offering yourself up for sex to your brother was not only expected but required.  Otherwise, your manliness could and will be called into question as well as your level of solidarity with your fellow man who abide by this credo.

Or, bluntly, if your boy looked at you and said, “Come over here and suck my dick…” your compliance was expected and required.  Your refusal of any sex with your boy meant you were not only disloyal but not a real man.  If your boy said to you, “Yo, slide that dick in my ass!” if you didn’t unzip, get hard, lube or strap up and comply with the request, nope – not a real man, you disloyal, fake, and phony motherfucker – and your disloyalty will be spread to all the other real men of the creed.

Wait, wait… what?  Now – and I’ll even dare to say “obviously” – not all men who embraced this new school of thought took the full meaning of “bros before hos” to heart; ain’t no way they’re gonna get down and dirty with another dude… but, actually and honestly, that’s to be expected; brother man might love the thug life but he’s still very straight and always will be.

About an hour or so ago – and what prompted me to write this – I saw a “sissy-centric” picture of a guy dressed up as a girl, with breasts (I’m thinking loads of hormones and not surgery), his ass in the air, his decently sized cock dangling limply between his legs, and accompanied by a caption that said something along the lines of, “A real sissy is always ready and willing to give their ass to a real man!”  I don’t pay the sissy fetish much mind (it’s fascinating) but it was that “real man” part that got my attention because it dovetails all too nicely with this mindset that’s currently in effect:  Real men not only do all the things I’ve ever learned about being a man, but they also fuck other men as a matter of course?

There are, no doubt, men and women reading this and asking, “What the fuck, KDaddy?” – and as a bisexual man, I’m pretty much asking the same question:  Why is this now and/or becoming a definition of what a man is?  See, I thought that being for-real as a man meant being and staying true to yourself no matter what and without deception – read this as being something you really aren’t or otherwise faking the funk, having delusions of grandeur or undeserved supremacy – shit like that.

Do y’all remember my saying that humans are so flexible in their thinking that we can justify anything we might do, even if that justification makes no sense to anyone else?  It’s my belief that this “real man” stuff is almost the perfect justification for men to have sex with other men; the logic is not only sound but unassailable and if you’ve ever seen fit to question a guy’s manliness and have seen the nearly automatic and vehement response, you will understand why I say the logic is unassailable because no one in their right mind calls a man’s manliness into question without repercussions of some kind.  That’s the kind of thing that will make a nonviolent man very violent and, no, I don’t recommend that anyone test this… and those who have know exactly what I’m talking about.

Does this stand up to moral scrutiny?  Of course not and, theoretically, it’s never supposed to… but when has this ever really made a difference?  On the one hand, I’m actually pleased that more men are learning that – sorry again, ladies – that pussy ain’t the only answer to sexual satisfaction but, in the other, this new sense of machismo kinda bothers me, that not being willing and able to give your body to another man – or to take the offer of sex from another man – puts your sense of being a man into severe doubt.  I personally do not buy into this mentality; I am bisexual but by choice, I am not a thug and never will be; I’m just too set in my ways to adopt habits like being out in public with my underwear showing, to cite one example.  Am I tough?  Oh, you bet your ass I am but I have no need or see the sense in being demonstrative about that and while I don’t always agree with authority, I do respect it – the alternatives aren’t pleasant and never were.

Hell, I’m not even a fan of the music.  Having said that, no, I don’t discount any man’s right to be a thug or, really, the man he feels he needs to be.  But this new version of a “real man” that seems to be gaining speed is interesting and, being an old school kind of guy, just a bit troubling.  I got used to being viewed as “less of a man” because I love to suck dick and used to love getting boned in the butt… but to now be viewed as less of a man because I might not want to get boned or do some boning and on demand, as it were?  Maybe I’m wrong but being into this is a choice one makes for themselves and based on whatever supports that choice… but this thing and its sense of expectation and unquestionable compliance or be seen as unmanly?

Whoa…

 
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Posted by on 25 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Technical Difficulties

Male bisexuals face many difficulties but none are as worrisome as trying to figure out why they’ve gotten this sudden appreciation for other men… or, if it’s not so sudden, why have these feelings been hanging around right on the edge of their consciousness and, over time, are becoming a distraction.

These things aren’t about doing – compared to trying to figure out what’s going on, doing is somewhat easier and, for some, requires much in the way of intestinal fortitude to jump into the deep and unknown waters that is homosexual sex.  Before a guy can get his feet (and other parts of his anatomy) wet, he’s got to come to terms about these taboo desires flooding every fiber of his being.  The biggest question I’ve been asked about this is not why these feelings are present but how best to cope with them; people are smarter these days and while why can cause much confusion, eh, it’s really not that hard to figure out… but why can be summed up in two words:  Human nature.  Not an easy topic to assimilate but the simplest way to accomplish this is to understand that, yeah, it happens and the man pondering this isn’t the only guy in the history of guys to find himself wondering about this.

Coping can be a bitch, thanks to the internal struggle taking place.  One part is confused but adamant that women are and always will be the preferred focus of romantic and sexual endeavors.  Another part, however, is saying, “I’m good with that… but you see that guy over there?  He’s hot and if you don’t believe me, uh, look down and while you’re checking out the tent, tell me why our pulse is racing and it’s a bit warm?”

We know why we’re attracted to women; some of it is evolutionary, some of it comes courtesy of our social conditioning and part of that social conditioning says that men are not to ever be attracted to or want to have sex with other men no matter what their minds and bodies are saying differently.  The conflict is so powerful that we just overlook the obvious:  Um, excuse me, but if looking at a guy isn’t supposed to make my dick hard, why is my dick hard?  We get so busy freaking out over this revelation that we never question what we’ve been told about this or, just because it’s not supposed to happen doesn’t mean it can’t, won’t, or doesn’t.  Yes, it’s true that some guys never have to deal with this and, no, I couldn’t begin to tell you why.

If you’re lucky, you’ve got someone you can confide with and someone who isn’t going to kick you in the nuts for having these verboten feelings and, if you’re even luckier, you have a bisexual mentor, someone whose been through all of this and has the hands-on experience to help put things into perspective and making acceptance of these new feelings a bit easier.  Minus this, coping can be difficult for a lot of guys; it’s a lot to examine and analyze and something that calls for a lot of introspective inspection and so much that some guys get overwhelmed by it and are unable to process anything, which makes them ignore their feelings with differing levels of success – but, often, without realizing that those feelings are still there… and they may return.

Adding to the technical difficulties is what I’ll call misplaced focus; instead of working on what they’re feeling, a lot of guys are immediately concerned with what others will say about them.  It’s a legitimate concern; image and reputation is everything and the only way you don’t know about the social issues around this is either you’re too young to pay attention to the news… or you’ve been living under a rock on an island in the middle of nowhere.  These feelings and the accompanying thoughts can change your behavior and so subtly that you don’t notice it – but people around you – and those who are familiar with you – do notice… and the more you try to hide what’s going on, the more folks get the sense that something’s not quite right with you.

It hard to act “normal” when you’re feeling anything but normal, even when it’s business as usual with the ladies and until you learn how to cope with these feelings and accept that this is how you’re feeling – and even if you don’t know why yet – you’re gonna be your own worst enemy until you can get yourself settled down.  Now, here’s the bad part in this… and as if things couldn’t be any worse, huh?

There’s no tried and true, sure fire way to cope with this.  Every male bisexual or curious guy I know has had to find a way to cope that works specifically for them.  I could spend a lot of time telling you what I did to cope but we are so individual that what worked for me isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for all men dealing with these technical difficulties.  I’ve come to understand that the older you are when all of this strikes, the harder it is to make sense of because it’s damned hard to change a lifetime of behaviors and experiences.

You’ve spent your life up to this point dealing with women, looking for love, sex, and relationships… and now you’re having to deal with something that you know about but never had a reason to think that you’d ever have to deal with.  When asked, I’ve attributed my “success” in this to my intelligence, near-insatiable curiosity, being damned impulsive and, importantly, how old I was, which relates to how long I’ve had to get myself right about all of this.  No, I’m not saying that an older and mature man can’t figure it out and cope – it’s just hard to do at times to find yourself changing everything you were taught and believed in.

So when a guy newly struck by this asks me what should he do – what can he do – my first answer is, “Accept that this is how you feel even though it feels impossible.”  Because if you can’t accept and then learn how to cope, you’re going to have some issues that can be ignored but aren’t really going anywhere.  Trying to convince yourself that you aren’t feeling these things is a waste of time; if you’re feeling them, then it can’t be impossible for you be feeling them, right?  So, if you can’t accept and learn how to cope, doing will present even bigger problems because ya might know what you’re doing… but you still don’t know why you’re doing them.

Don’t get me wrong; some guys can and do go from, “What the hell is wrong with me?” right to having the sex without a lot of problems; doesn’t mean the technical difficulties are absent and it usually catches up with them later.  “What the hell is wrong with me?” turns into, “What the hell am I doing?” and for some, catestrophically so; I’ve had guys tells me this has bitch-slapped them right in the middle of having sex with a guy – not cool at all and very disturbing.

You can’t avoid the technical difficulties – there are too many of them to make escaping possible.  You accept, you learn how to cope, you formulate a plan to determine if doing is feasible, possible, or even necessary.  Creating an environment of denial in your mind will not help you so thinking, “This can’t be happening to me – it’s not supposed to happen!” is, in my opinion, is a big mistake:  You’re just gonna create more problems for yourself.

Use your mind and think; if you need help, find a mentor at your local LGBT community if you don’t have friends or acquaintances who’ll be on your side about this.  Don’t become your own worst enemy and do your level best not to make things for yourself harder than they have to be.

 
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Posted by on 24 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  In Your Face

Damn, I’m on a writing roll today and, no, the title isn’t about facials.  If you smelled wood burning where you are, that was probably me thinking again and remembering a moment in my blogging life when someone slapped my hands for talking about this in graphic and very direct ways.  You, dear readers, do have choices here, beginning with not reading my blog to begin with due to its verbally graphic nature (but I’m pleased that you do) and including this:  If male bisexuality was something you were interested in, which way works better – wrapping the topic in blankets of romantically tainted political correctness… or getting the cold, stark, hard facts as I’ve learned them while getting an idea how much I love being bisexual?

If you’re a guy looking to take the plunge or, really, anyone who might wonder what all the fuss is about, would me activating my ability to write really boring but accurate technical reports be helpful… or does plain, no bullshit speech work better for ya?  And, if the PC version works for ya, sorry, but I don’t do PC and this is the only time I’ll actually apologize for my deliberate lack of political correctness… because someone’s life could hang in the balance and being vague and diabetes-inducing sweet about it just will not cut it.

And if my words happen to keep a guy from doing this, that works, too, because playing with another man’s dick isn’t for every dude and it’s best that some guys don’t even attempt to go there; I’ve seen what happens to guys who get the PC version of this and take the plunge – then find out they were misinformed and they’ve opened themselves to disaster… and all because no one would give him a blunt, frank, in-your-face talking to about this before the fact.

My voice and view in this is just one of many and while there are many voices and views that tend to tap-dance all over the play and numb the mind with psychobabble and pseudoscience, I speak the truth as I understand it and as I’ve experienced it – which of these do you think would have the greater impact?  Yes, when I write about this, I also try to convey my feelings – the passion for bisexuality as well as the shit that makes me insane – but not to sensationalize or glamorize it because a lot of people don’t want to know what – they want to know why, they wanna know what makes a woman-loving, pussy-worshiping fella like me have similar feelings for a nice, hard dick… and being verbally in your face tells the story better than being PC and only saying, “It feels good…” or other touchy-feely, sugary, and pie-in-the-sky flowery things, oh, like male bisexuality is all about one’s romantic interests.  It can be… but rarely so.

If I were a guy leaning toward bisexuality, “It feels good” isn’t a good answer and, seriously, where this particular topic is concerned, there is truly no such thing as too much information because, as I’ve said many times, ignorance is not bliss, silence is not golden, and what you don’t know can kill the shit out of you mind, body, and soul.  Would you prefer to read stuff from someone who has no actually experience with being bisexual… or stuff from someone whose been there and done that and over many decades and many different situations?

Would you rather read about infection rates, depression factors, and the likelihood of domestic violence and suicide… or would you rather read that I’ve never experienced any of these things – but I have seen some of it in others and because I’m bisexual, yeah, I do know why and that it’s possible to avoid this crap if you’re smart.  I can’t spout numbers and, um, there is no real point in this since the numbers do not ever tell the whole truth of things – and if I don’t know, I’ll tell ya I don’t know… but I will try to find out if I can.  One quick thing about statistical analysis:  Sometimes,nits not what the numbers are saying – it’s what they’re not saying.

I’m in your face and about as real as it gets… because being any other way is a disservice and totally thoughtless, dispassionate, and heinously irresponsible.  I’d rather dazzle you with brilliance than to baffle you with bullshit…

Time to see if my Blackhawks get eliminated by my Blues… or if they live to skate another day!

 
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Posted by on 23 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  “Well, Why Not?”

Every so often I like to come back and reexamine something near and dear to my heart:  Sucking dick.  It’s actually number three on my list of things to do that are fun and behind screwing women and eating pussy (and not necessarily in that order).  Lord only knows how many times in my life I’ve been asked why I do it and how many times I’ve actually uttered the title of this writing in response… and how many times I’ve been told that I’m not supposed to do it, let alone love doing it.

Let me get this right:  It’s okay for a woman to suck cock… but if a man has a fondness for this, that’s a bad thing?  Well, yeah, seeing as how it’s all taboo and verboten but the question I’ve asked – and never got an answer to – is why is it okay for a babe to suck my dick?  I’ve heard some “answers” like that’s just the way it’s supposed to be or that’s the way it’s always been (that’s a lie, by the way), or it’s immoral, which again doesn’t explain why it’s moral for women to do it.

I’ve even heard that for women, it’s an expression of love… and there’s some truth to this… but that doesn’t explain a woman polishing the dome and she ain’t in love with you, does it, and why a lot of men enjoy having their sausage eaten by another guy.  It’s just that sometimes, the simplest answer is the best one and, um, having been on both sides of this deal, er… the answer to the question of why is, “Because it feels good to do it and have it done.”

What cracks me up in these moments is how someone can agree with the simple logic employed – and still insist that making a guy cum in my mouth (or me in his) is still a bad thing to do.  And, indeed, if it is good for the gander, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with a goose finding out how good it can be.  Instead, what guys like me tend to hear is how bad such a thing is and how nasty it is… like it’s any nastier than doing a faceplant in a woman’s coochie?  Yep, there are folks who even think this is a bad thing to do… but I think a whole lot of us – both men and women – will say otherwise and emphatically so.

 Yeah, as usual, there’s the whole acquired taste thing, blah, blah, blah, and the emphasis on masterful and flawless technique; important issues but they kinda pale by in importance when compared to either having a hard or even soft cock in your mouth and that heady moment when you feel a mouth close around your cock.  And, as usual, those who suck cock knows exactly what I’m talking about and while making a guy’s prick blow chunks is always nice icing on the cake – and, yes, the pun is intentional – you don’t always have to suck a guy off in order to enjoy sucking him – he’d like it very much if you did get him off like that, though.

Just another stray thought that floated through my brain…

 
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Posted by on 23 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Prey

On the heels of my last scribbling, yep, I’ve been prey more times than I care to admit and until I eventually learned some facts of life, nah, it didn’t feel good to be preyed upon or to even be aware of the fact that I could be targeted for sex by anyone and before I learned that you might start out as prey… but can easily turn the tables on the predator stalking you and looking to inseminate you and make them prey.

Once you come to understand the nature of the beast, it doesn’t always make things easier but at least you can identify that strange feeling crawling along your senses when you see a guy giving you a certain look but also being aware that some predators in this game don’t give any clues as to their intentions toward you.  It’s how I wound up getting drugged and raped, well, that and a total lack of situational awareness on my part despite my training in such things. I accept that it happened, kinda blame myself more than the predator that had his way with me because of my cluelessness, but, nah, I still don’t like the fact that I was so easily taken, which actually bothers me more than the sex he had with me until I recovered and tried to kill him.

Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice… and I hope you have insurance or a next of kin that can be notified.  But this somewhat reflective writing isn’t about the bad predators out there looking to have sex with you; it’s really about the more, ah, regular guys who are just looking to have some amicable and mutual sexual gratification.  They’re out there looking for that likeminded guy or someone damned curious enough to want to get naked and participate in that ages-old dance we call sex.  Some are rather aggressive and annoyingly so; while their directness can be appreciated, their “my way or no way” approach gives man-sex a pretty bad name.  Some to employ a degree of deception, like the one guy who tried to get me to believe that he’d never done anything like this – or with a man – before; he was lying like a rug, of course, and I think he knew that I knew he was trying to bullshit me… but men tend to accept this bit of trickery as part of the game and at least I learned not to be offended by it… although I’d never in good conscious ever use such a cheesy pickup line.

Some guys unknowingly give off hard to miss signals and because they’re trying not to make it obvious that they wanna have sex with you; you don’t even have to be an expert in nonverbal communication to spot these guys and guys whose caution lights them up like a  really bright signal flare, well, that and seeing the outline of his erection as he tries not to stare at you is a dead giveaway.

Once you’ve stepped into the arena and learn then”rules” of the game – and by taking that step, tacitly agree to be bound by the rules – the game of predator and prey can be interesting to watch unfold and regardless to whether or not you’re the predator or you’re the prey… or you’re watching things unfold between to other guys.  You get to understand why women roll their eyes a lot – and reject us for sex – thanks to the sheer corniness of the pickup lines we use and more so when we try to use some lines on men that are better suited for use on women.  And, yes, some are so pathetically inept that you wanna agree to his indecent proposal just to save him from further embarrassment – even women that the corniest lines tend to work, as weird as that sounds.

And, even with some men, directness and honesty in ones approach is preferred… but, as with some women, well, it’s not always gonna get you what you want… so as strange at this sounds, yeah, some of us actually want (and need) to be seduced or otherwise convinced that getting naked with you is going to be in our best interests.  It’s not what you want so much as it is how you go about making your case – or, if you will – setting the “trap” that, hopefully, will result in nuts getting busted wide open.  And I’ve learned that even I can be horribly picky about things when I’m the prey; sometimes – most of the time – directness works… but not always and I can be guilty of making a guy “prove” to me how badly he wants me.  Why… and more so when it might not get me some cock to play with?

It’s just how the game is played.  I may or may not be of a mind to play with cock… but I’m willing to at least listen to the proposal when I’ve been targeted as prey.  Now, I’ve said all along that men are much more no-nonsense about this and it remains a truism, but we all go through a feeling out kind of thing because, um, the guy might not be down like that but once we have confirmation that he is, many guys – including me – will just get to the point and put it on the table and as that can be as simple as, “Let’s go somewhere because I really want to suck your dick (or whatever else you’re of a mind to do/allow)…”

It can take a long as thirty seconds… or as much as a hour or longer and, yep, sometimes, it can take days and repeated contacts before the predator/prey game is played out and the actual sex begins… or doesn’t… because if you believe that women can be really funny about this, you’ve probably never asked a guy if you can blow him or if he’s willing to blow you, to use this as the least acceptably doable thing.  Even as no-nonsense as we can be about this, a single word said can bring things to an unsatifying and disappointing end… or what you don’t say can have the same results.  So it’s not always a given that two men playing their roles as predator and prey is a fait accompli; as both predator and prey, I’ve had hopes of a successful outcomes, only to have something bring the game to a screeching halt.

Like, this guy and I were playing the game and even switching up the roles; he started out as the predator and I was his prey – then I was the predator and things were going swimmingly until he said that he’d also love it if I peed on him.  Man, talk about a deal-killer!  Or another time when a rather agressive predator had me in his sights and was actually doing a decent job of kicking his game to me when he started talking about how good he was gonna fuck me… and way after I had mentioned I wouldn’t be down with that.  Game over, man – game over!

Yep, sometimes our own stupidity can reset the game in a hurry and no amount of apologizing for a faux pas will make things right.  I once had a non-sexual conversation with a guy about this predator/prey game and he asked me whether I preferred to be the predator or did I prefer to be prey… and I couldn’t answer the question, not because I didn’t understand the question but because in the way I learned to play the game, a guy was always both – you just accepted that the hunter was also being hunted at any given time.  I allowed that I wasn’t sure I had a preference in that sense; it’s fun to be both predator and prey at turns – but I also admitted that, at the time, I had an uncanny knack of winding up in another man’s sights and especially if my mind wasn’t on playing the game at all.

I was either in the right place at the right time… or the wrong place at the wrong time – I’d take my pick of these two things depending on my mood and frame of mind at the moment of first contact… and it was usually the latter when dick was nowhere on my list of things to get.  But even that was kinda fun… or very annoying to be sitting or standing and listening to a predator make his case to get into my underwear.  Sometimes it worked… most of those times, it didn’t; when I tell you thanks but no thanks, I’m not likely to change my mind – move along, move along.

Or, sometimes – and because I can be quite evil – I’d assess the guy making a move on me and deduce the one thing he wouldn’t be interested in and, in effect, become the predator. Like the guy who was trying to convince me that sucking his cock would be the best thing I would ever agree to… and something told me that he wouldn’t be all that interested to wind up swallowing sperm… so I said to him, “Okay, and when I finish sucking you off, I’ll be very much looking forward to creaming your tonsils!”

He got up and left without another word… and I laughed until I almost wet my pants.  Some predators, it seems, never consider that they can be prey, too.

So, no, we don’t always just play this game with women – we play it with men as well.  It’s both the fun of being a bisexual guy and, sometimes, the bane of our existence because while we have a basic understanding that despite our desire to be the predator in the game, we often do not like or accept that we can be preyed upon and become someone’s successful attempt at predation and seduction; it’s that awful feeling one can get to find himself in the middle of doing/being done and wondering just how the hell you found yourself in this situation – and, yeah, a feeling I’ve experienced more than I really care to admit right now.  The sex can be damned good… or undeniably shitty but the thing that fucks with you is the realization that you volunteered to be someone’s prey and, once more, even when you know that you’re as much fair game as the other guy could be.  You got conned, convinced – maybe even totally and completely seduced… and as bad as that can make you feel, it’s all part of a timeless game we’ve played with each other.

 
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Posted by on 23 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Targets of Opportunity

While I was making coffee for myself and tea for Linda this morning, for some reason, that stupid quote uttered by Woody Allen popped into my head, you know, the one about bisexuals always having a date on Saturday night.  I snorted derisively without thinking about it; I’ve never agreed with that sentiment and more so when I’d seen and heard a lot of people use it to illustrate how flighty bisexuals are supposed to be, given how we can’t seem to pick one side or the other and stay on that chosen side.

I confess that I’ve never known, with a high degree of certainty, how bisexual women behave when they’re just sitting and thinking about a course of action – but I’ve been blessed and honored to have been with them when they’ve decided to act and, wow.  Just wow.

But I do know a little something about bisexual men and the one trait we share with all men and regardless to our sexuality is that we are opportunists, evolutionarily programmed to take advantage of a situation when we happen upon it and is in part responsible for us having that rep that we’re all dogs and just indiscriminately fuck just because we can and with no real purpose in mind, like wanting a long lasting relationship, a family, stuff like that there.  It’s not that we don’t want these things but, um, there’s no nice way to put this but we were designed to fuck, the imperative hard-coded into us over generations of male evolution and, if you like, ever since God told Adam and Eve, “Go ye forth and multiply…”

If you’re a straight man, your designated targets of opportunity are women and, yes, despite having preferences, any woman who’ll say yes and open her legs and, yes, we will use any means fair or foul in order to accomplish this… which doesn’t exactly shine a good light on us with the ladies, I’m afraid.  If you’re a gay man, other men are your targets, also with preferences (like everyone else) and by any means necessary often comes into play here, too, and more so when a desired target has to be totally fooled or otherwise tricked into giving up the dick if the target isn’t of a mind to go there; it kinda gives gay men a rather predatory feel that makes some men very nervous to be around a gay man; those “Don’t drop the soap” jokes take on a suddenly un-funny meaning.

Bisexual men have their sights set on both targets of opportunity and, again, often depending on specific preferences but also with “by any means necessary” in play as well, which I’d even say makes us a scarier predator since, in theory, no one is “safe” around us… but it also puts us in a position to also be prey times two because while men are known predators in the game we call life, so are women… and some of them can put a man to shame when it comes to going after what they want.

On the one hand, this isn’t a bad thing because in our pursuit of sex, this is exactly what we’re supposed to do; sexual partners don’t always fall onto our respective crotches out of the blue all that often so to get what we want, release the hounds… and let the the hunt and games begin!  Socially and morally, bleh, this is kinda uncool to have to resort to trickery and deceit or otherwise play games to satisfy our need for sex and that really applies to men who have sexual desires for both men and women; the game is complicated enough from either side of the sexuality spectrum and bisexuals just rock the boat even more and when social and moral norms insist we don’t make waves and that we pick a side and stay there.

Those norms don’t take into account human nature, except to prevent and/or eliminate certain behaviors that don’t lend themselves to the fulfillment of our “prime directive” to go ye forth and multiply.  And while we know and understand that sex has a purpose other than procreation – it’s just a damned fun thing to do – our adherence to dogma doesn’t allow us to see, accept, or understand that its attempt to squash other aspects of our sexual behavior has consistently failed to stop men and from wanting men and women when it’s time for some cookies to get crumbled any more than it has stopped men from only wanting other men and women from wanting other women.

That we are still targets of opportunity to and for each other doesn’t change and despite the fact that we’re supposed to do this nicely and honorably if and when possible, at the end of the day, doesn’t mean a whole lot since the dogma we hold dearly to doesn’t exactly make it easy for us to hook up and screw each other silly and simply because this is what we were all designed to do.  Dogma doesn’t account for or allow anyone to have any desires that aren’t completely directed to the opposite sex and promises dire consequences for anyone who’d dare to step out of the box… again, like that actually works.

The one thing I do agree with is that we should be more willing to screw each other silly and no matter how one likes to do that but since we’ve been conditioned to not do things so easily, sadly, we often have to resort to, um, not-so-nice ways of getting it done.  Not saying it’s right – just saying that’s the way things go; dogma makes doing things the hard way a necessary evil.  For bisexuals, caring for our dual needs/desires calls for us to bend and/or break a lot of the rules that govern social and moral norms – and, like it or not, it is what it is.  All attempts to change these behaviors, again, have consistently failed, from declaring them sinful and taboo, to criminalizing them, and even citing them as mental illness; none of these things (and other shit) has stopped humans from behaving the way we were meant to behave in seeing each other as sexual targets of opportunity and then using targeting solutions that may include trickery and deceit.

Yes, we should protect the young and immature… but that means everyone else is fair game and the seediness that’s associated with homosexuality and bisexuality could be cleaned up if the dogma we live by was updated to account for how we are today… and not how we were when the survival of our species was a very major concern.  It’s making me wear out this new thing I’ve learned, that our adherence to dogma doesn’t allow us to accept a new understanding, not that homosexuality/bisexuality is all that new – but you get the gist of it, I hope.

 
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Posted by on 23 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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