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About kdaddy23

Not really sure what to say; there's a lot about me that can be said but the basic thing is that I'm just a guy with a lot of things on my mind that I need to get said. I have to add that if you're not old enough to deal with adult issues or you find them offensive, you might want to stay out of my head...

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Mentoring

I know a little something about being bisexual and if there was a “regret” in any of this, it’s that I had to find out what I’ve learned by trial and error as well as always looking for answers to questions that, in the early days, a polite society didn’t want to hear, let alone provide any answers.  Sometimes I find myself thinking, “Man, if I’d had a mentor, someone to guide me through all the shit that comes with being bisexual, I’d either be a much better bisexual… or I would have seen the light and started running as fast as I metaphorically could in the other direction!”

And if wishes were horses…

In my quest to understand bisexuality (and then figure out how it all applies to me), I came into contact with a lot of people who wanted to know the same things I wanted to know, met people who were out there doing their dirt and without a clue as to why they were doing it (other than the obvious), why they couldn’t do it, and many other questions; some were falling into pitfalls and other problems, finding themselves wondering just what the hell went wrong and I remember, from those early days, thinking that if those folks had known what I’d learned before leaping into this, maybe they would have fared better or they would have decided not to leap at all.

What they say about making informed decisions does make a lot of sense…

I’d find myself talking to guys and listening to them speak about not understanding why they had this urge to find out what it was like to have sex with another guy or, if they had managed to accomplish this in some way, well, damn, why did they like it?  Were they some kind of freak?  Were they cut from the same cloth as the many flamboyant gay men roaming the city – trust me, even Stevie Wonder could have seen them?  Many would “confess” to wanting to check it out so the questions were along the lines of what to do if they did, even how to do it and, most of all, how to do it without anyone finding out that they (a) wanted to do it or (b) were actually doing it.  Ha, sometimes, the topic would be broached by this rather transparent question:  “If some dude rolled up on you and asked if he could suck your dick, um, what would you do or say?”  I’ve even had this topic come up with a classic opener:  “Ya know, uh, there’s this guy I know who wants to do it with another guy… what should he do?”

Yeah, that one still cracks me up,even today…

Sometimes, I’d feign ignorance; you just knew there were some folks you’d better not have this conversation with.  Sometimes, I really didn’t know the answer to their question which would have the effect of having me go find it; sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t – really, there was no such animal as a “bisexual primer” one could refer to.  I found that while I could tell them what I’d do or even what I’d done, you wind up getting a lesson in what works for one isn’t guaranteed to work for someone else.  Yeah, sometimes, answering their questions required action; it’s easier to show you than to sound like an idiot trying to explain something that even I was finding out was a lot more complicated than it appeared to be.  More often than not, though, I found myself telling a lot of guys that even though they had this very powerful urge to check this out, it might be in their best interest not to; with some guys, you could just sense that they were on the verge of making a decision that would turn out very badly.

Yeah, sounds kinda strange that a guy who liked having sex with guys would tell another guy not to do it; sometimes, “Do as I say, not as I do” can make some sense.

The Internet came long, opening up a wealth of information, exposing me to many more men who had the same questions I’d had… but no answers; when the World Wide Web started sprouting forums, I found myself joining them as well as discovering that, man, there were a lot of men who were just like me or wanted to be like me; some quite successful, many more floundering over how to get started, and many more still trying and failing.  My online time was spent not only learning everything I could about this Internet/World Wide Web thing but having deep conversations with these guys right along with local dudes who sought answers or solutions and the things I was learning along the way were staggering.  Guys would ask if I could help them understand this and, admittedly, sometimes, I said I couldn’t because I really didn’t want to tell them something and things went badly for them and, like I said, you just somehow knew that getting into this just wouldn’t be in the guy’s best interest.  Sometimes, I’d help them understand this; you also knew which guys would benefit from being told about the things I’d learned “the hard way.”

Yeah, and sometimes, it was still better to show them than to fumble around looking for the words to use that would make sense and, besides, experience is still the best teacher.  To that end, you’d think that I’d leap at the chance to show them the ropes – and sometimes I was… but most of the time I wasn’t and while there were times when I’d feel bad about suggesting they “practice” on someone else, there were times when I knew it wouldn’t be in my best interest to be the first one to show them.

Leap forward a lot of years, a lot of experiences (some good, some bad), and access to more information and people than could have been imagined.  Over that time and for reasons I didn’t pretend to understand, I felt that I had a “responsibility” to share what I’d learned with those folks who really needed to know just what the fuck they were feelings or what, if anything, they could do about those feelings and while I could have just shrugged and said, “I don’t know…,” I also felt that this would be a very wrong answer to give them so I’d tell them what I’d learned, what I’d experienced, both the good and bad of things and always with the caveat that their experiences might be very different and that chances were good that instead of finding success, all they might find was failure, frustration, and disappointment tossed in with a dash of disillusionment.

And, sadly, sometimes the latter was exactly what they found; if you wanna get into sucking a guy’s dick, that can be a bit difficult if you live in a place where like-minded guys are scarce or the social angst against this kind of stuff could have very negative effects.

Since I started writing about this here on my blog – and, after reading a lot of blogs written by people who sought information or was, in my opinion, providing newbies with flawed information – well, I kinda knew what I had to do.  I read about so many people diving into this deep end of the pool and doing so without knowing or understanding what lay beneath the rather murky waters.  Shit, I’m no world-acclaimed expert… but I know what’s in the deep end and I read that many of them were making mistakes that, if someone would have told them about this before the fact, perhaps they wouldn’t have made a mistake or they would have gone about this a bit differently.  So instead of lurking, I started commenting, adding my two cents worth to the mix and with no other purpose than to share the things that took me decades to learn by one means or another.

Why?  Because someone had to do it; someone had to pull the rose-colored glasses off; someone had to debunk the myths and stereotypes and, basically, tell it like it is.  Even today, I sit and read what others write about bisexuality and I still see a lot of the misinformation, myths, stereotypes and even fears that existed when I first stepped onto this path. I read stuff that I call psychobabble, sometimes a really funny way of applying scientific methodology to something that still tends to resist being scientifically quantified; I’ve read some stuff that even with my level of intelligence and knowledge, has had me asking my monitor (or the cat), “What they hell are they talking about?”  When the whole biphobia thing came along – as well as that “hearts, not parts” thing being bandied about, well, let’s just say that those things were responsible for me to keep writing about being bisexual when I had it in my mind to never write about it again.  Like, the other day, I read about a guy who got subjected to an aspect of this among males that just broke his heart and made him think that he was doing the wrong things for himself, making me wonder if anyone even bothered to tell him that just because you sleep with another dude and kinda expect him to be all into you afterward, um, no, that’s probably not gonna be the case nor will it be a very desirable outcome for him to keep thinking that just because he has a romantic bent to his approach to bisexuality doesn’t mean that other men are gonna be bent that way as well.

My current protegé has been picking my mind apart about being bisexual and I am enjoying our conversations on this and many other topics.  If I’ve not learned anything about being bisexual, it’s that being bisexual, in and of itself, isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be… but if you can’t talk to someone about being bisexual, yeah,that can be a lot worse and if it’s true that bisexuals tend to suffer more mental illnesses than those who aren’t bisexual (and I’m not totally sold on this because, um, don’t we all have issues?), a lot of it is because no one will bother to take the time to talk about this and in a real-life, plain language way.  As many of you have seen me write, sometimes, ignorance is not bliss, silence isn’t golden, and what you don’t know could possibly kill you.  As I’ve learned to do over the years, I challenge my protegé’s motives and even his intelligence; I challenge the way he thinks about this, challenge the way he’s looking at what he’s doing and, sometimes, how he goes about doing things.  And he soaks it in and while I wouldn’t dare say that we agree on everything we talk about – if you could, you could ask him how many times I’ve said to him, “Um, I wouldn’t do that…” – what this discourse is about is sharing what I know about this and then stepping back and letting him decide for himself which way the wind is blowing for him because, still, an informed decision is much better than not being informed at all.

It does my heart a lot of good to be able to do this; if I can help someone figure this bisexual thing out and to whatever conclusions they come to about it, then I’ve done a good thing… and even if the best “advice” I can offer is for them to stay on the side of the pool.  We get so absorbed in doing when, really, we should always think first… then act if we must…or if acting is even possible; that’s so much better than diving in and finding out that, uh, you don’t know how to swim.  Yet and still, there are some things that one must eventually learn “the hard way,” aren’t there?  In order to make a mistake, well, you gotta do something or not do something in order to prove and confirm that it was, indeed, a mistake; yes, it’s easy for me to tell someone, “Um, I wouldn’t do that and here’s why I wouldn’t…” but at the end of any day, ultimately, the decision to do – or do not – is theirs alone and my “job” as a mentor is to be there for them through their successes and their failures.

So I keep writing about it, sharing my thoughts and experiences because, well, it could make a difference in someone else’s life one way or the other…

 
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Posted by on 28 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Kissing a Girl

Yesterday, early in the afternoon, I saw an article on MSN about Katy Perry, she of the now-infamous “I Kissed a Girl” song and in said article, Ms. Perry admitted that she’s done more than kissed a girl.  I don’t know about y’all but when I heard all of the ruckus about the song, my thought at the time was that she probably did a hell of a lot more than merely kiss a girl.  At least in my mind, it’s not a big deal; lots of girls kiss girls and not just on those lips adorning their faces.  Theoretically, there are untold numbers of girls who have done what Katy has publicly admitted to doing – and including the admission of doing more than just kissing a girl.

This is kinda a mini-rant about a disturbing difference concerning how our society reacts to such a thing.  If an everyday kind of woman went to the New York Times and asked them to write a story about her kissing a girl (and then some), they’d probably have security escort her out of the building;  if she went to a friend and admitted this, there’s no telling how that friend would have reacted – from disinterest and indifference to our hypothetical woman being in need of a new friend as they run away in fear.

But Katy Perry can stand before the media and do this thing… and it’s newsworthy and because she’s famous and there doesn’t seem to be anyone calling for her head on a pike for it.  Some time ago now, we had a rash of celebrities come out as bisexual or gay; no one raised much of a fuss when Queen Latifah came out; the torches and pitchforks came out when that British swimmer announced he wasn’t exactly straight but seemed to be waffling between really admitting that he was either bisexual… or as gay as the media kept insisting he had to be.  Quite a few famous people came out and the world was abuzz about it, noting their courage and the strength of their convictions, yada, yada.

Right this moment, there are probably millions of everyday people struggling with the decision to come out or not – doesn’t matter if they’ve actually done anything in that regard – and the reason why they haven’t is because those who comprise their worldview might be of a mind to tar and feather them more than give them a pat on the ass for their courage and strength of conviction as well as saying loud and proud that this is their life and they will live it in a way that best works for them.  If you’re not famous, society takes a dim view of not being heterosexual; the Alphabet Gang, aka the LGBTQI(whatever) community keeps urging folks to come out (and, I guess, to support their cause and a cause that’s fairly suspect these days) and always riffing about the dangers and hazards of being on the down low either in thought or deed and, at least to me, as if some of them don’t remember just how much shit they had to go through when they came out to members of a society that has, historically, always been rabid in their views against those who aren’t straight.

I think it straight-up sucks that Katy Perry can be all front and center about doing more than just kissing a girl and no one is trying to hand her head to her, lending much truth to the perception that such things among women is okay and, perhaps, even quite understandable… but if “Karen” enacted a coming-out, not only might she find herself getting shredded to a pulp but no one would ever find out that she tried to make such a stand unless someone were to take great offense to “Karen’s” announcement and literally shred her to a pulp.  If Brad Pitt were to announce that he’s kissed a boy and then some, every media outlet would cover the story and, maybe, not too many people would be all that surprised about that; let an everyday sort of Joe gather some folks together and make such an announcement… and watch what happens next.

This mini-rant goes beyond the tired-assed double standard that it’s okay to be female and bisexual and not okay to be male and bisexual; this is about the disparity in how we treat each other.  If you’re rich and famous, eh, it’s no biggie but if you’re barely making minimum wage, stuck in a dead end job, and your only claim to fame is that you’re still alive, well, now, we have a situation don’t we?  Yes, it is true that someone can come out and not get lambasted for it in any way but by comparison, it’s almost like an isolated event more than a general response.  I don’t know about y’all but there’s something very wrong about this mindset and, if nothing else, it speaks to how inconsistent we are and a few other things that I don’t think speaks well of us as a society, let alone as a species.

A couple of weeks ago, I read some comments to several things on the theme of biphobia and those speaking about this wrote words that I’d call filled with dread; some were angry that such a thing even exists, and there were some who seemed to advocate biphobia as if it were some necessary component to our continued existence but what I found funny – and not in a humorous way – was those flinging the biphobia card all over the place were stating that they were proudly homosexual and saying, as they tend to do, that bisexuals should just stop lying to themselves and admit that they’ re gay and get it over with.  On one site called Queerty, wow, they seem to have a hard-on for and about straight men; they write quite a few things that seems to be geared toward the notion that straight men aren’t straight or bisexual:  They’re secretly homosexual and they tend to present “evidence” to support their position.  The last thing I read on that site was a “report” on a study that says homosexuality in straight men is a given based on the levels of a certain hormone in their blood chemistry that’s responsible for making men want to bond with other men. Fifty-seven men were tested for this hormone and those with higher than normal levels, well, they were secretly gay and they should admit to it and be made better for it.

What was rather pointed were the comments that followed.  If I remember correctly, not too many of those who commented really said anything about the horribly small sample of men in this study; nope, they were mostly ranting and raving about how straight men are more prone to beating them up instead of giving them a good sexual beat down.  Quite a few had some pretty shitty things to say about straight men being more bisexual, which didn’t surprise me a whole lot since I’ve heard such things before and probably before those commenting were even born.  I’d never say that Queerty is a highly reliable source of information and, in my opinion, they seem very eager to get straight men to drop their boxers and give up the dick to gay men.

But it was the angst on this site and a few others I viewed that was dismaying; I feel that if Brad Pitt or some other famous guy/gal were to come out, their bravery and sheer honesty would be applauded and touted as landmark… while the everyday Jane or Joe coming out would be met with derision, disdain, and scorn… and all because they want to overtly do the things that makes their life easier to live, rich, and rewarding.

 
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Posted by on 24 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: On “Top Searches…” – Again

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, ya see this lingering right at the shore line:  “sexy indian guy cums from intercrural sex.”  Okay, y’all know me:

First Thought:  What, somebody’s searching for this again?  Jeez…

Second Thought:  Of course he came from it; kinda the whole purpose of it.

Third Thought:  Even though some cultures still have homosexual taboos on their list of things not to do, there’s always a way around those restrictions.

Intercrural sex, aka frottage (and in case some of y’all are just tuning in and didn’t want to wade through years of blog postings to find the other things I wrote about this), is one sure fire way for a man to screw another man and there is zero anal penetration involved – and it can be as hot and as gratifying for both men.  Indeed, some men prefer this over actual penetration; if you know what it takes to prepare your backside to be invaded by a hard one, it’s not difficult to see why this way is preferred.

Some guys will go this route because they believe that if they don’t get penetrated, what they’re doing isn’t gay… and it never fails to amaze me (and make me roll my eyes until they hurt) how some can totally delude themselves into believing this when, in fact, it’s not true:  If you are a guy and you’re on your back and there’s a man atop you and his erection is slipping and sliding between your thighs and maybe even colliding with your taint, yep, it’s still homosexual even if it makes you feel better to think that it isn’t.  This one is just as funny as the one where a guy thinks that if he lets another guy suck his dick and he doesn’t cum in the guy’s mouth, well, that’s not gay either.

Is intercrural sex really safe sex?  Well, that depends; I recently heard of a guy who wound up getting a fungal infection on the head of his dick via intercrural sex and because the guy who infected him was both uncut and had had intercrural sex with another guy.  It wasn’t really serious, the infection banished with the use of both Neosporin and Lotrimin, but it did take a little while before it completely cleared up.  Such things are, admittedly, rare occurrences but, obviously, “rare” doesn’t mean something like this couldn’t happen if the conditions are right.  At the very least, if there are any uncut guys reading this and thinking that frottage would be a more palatable way to do this and bust a nut, make sure both of y’all wash everything thoroughly and towel everything dry before proceeding.  Not “a little damp” – as completely dry as you can manage.

I mean, you usually can get a case of athlete’s foot because ya might wash your feet or your feet get sweaty or wet by some other means – but don’t do a really good job of drying them so, well, okay, hopefully, you get the picture and the message.

As usual when I see one of these Top Searches things, I wonder why someone was searching the site for this; is it possible there’s some Indian guy out there somewhere who’s looking for instances where another Indian guy had intercrural sex and busted a nice nut… and because he’s thinking about checking this out himself?  I find myself thinking that outside of the stuff I write about this, I don’t recall ever seeing any other bloggers writing about this particular form of sex so whoever was searching WordPress for this might have come up with a blank and, really, they’d probably be better off doing a Google search for any information that doesn’t lead them to some gay porn website…

 
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Posted by on 23 March 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Deal Breakers

This is an an unfortunate series of events that can derail a bisexual’s quest to get down and dirty with someone and, over the years, wow, I’ve heard some real doozies.  Now, one of the things one must expect and get used to is being rejected; some go on the premise that being rejected isn’t personal but, yeah, it can be, not that the person rejecting you would admit to that (but some might).

Getting rejected out of hand is bad enough but to run into someone, establish a rapport, get on the verge of arranging a meet – and then get bitch-slapped by one of many deal breakers that can crop up.  Everyone has their own list of what constitutes a broken deal and one should expect to run into many situations that start out looking good for you and have a personal deal breaker show up and spoil the party.

On of the things I’ve observed is that a lot of deal breakers can sound… petty to you when the object of your lust puts one on the table but keep in mind that when you toss one of your own onto the table, yup, yours can seem just as petty to the person you’re dealing with.  Negotiations can break down; the time isn’t right, other day to day things have priority, stuff like that, but in my opinion, nothing can ruin a potentially good moment than to have the guy you’re talking to announce sadly that no hookup can happen because you’re circumcised, your dick is either too big or not big enough, and many more things that, on the one hand allows one to really personalize their sexual experience while on the other, can almost guarantee that they won’t be getting any dick and time soon.

And some guys come up with deal breakers with the intent on not having sex; I guess for these guys, it’s either the thrill of the hunt that gets them off or, sometimes, they just can’t make themselves go through with actually having the sex that’s probably always on their mind.  I’m not saying that having deal breakers isn’t important but I’ve seen over the years that having a lot of them makes doing the nasty a lot harder than it has to be.

I once had a guy break a deal because of the brand of deodorant I use; one guy broke the deal because I was taller than he was; another deal got 86’d because I’m not completely hairless in the body hair department.  The weirdest one I’ve ever had laid on me was the guy who said while he didn’t have any issues with Black men, he made it clear that if I weren’t Black, we could have some really good sex together and, nope, he wasn’t of a mind to explain this to me.  A real, shame, too, because I thought he was an excellent prospect. When a deal gets broken because you wear briefs instead of boxers, well, maybe it’s me but there’s something wrong going on.

Is there a solution to minimizing the impact of deal breakers?  About the only thing one can do is to manage their own list of deal  breakers because, obviously, there’s not much you can do about someone else’s set of deal breakers.  We live in a world where “I want what I want and in the way I want it” is the general theme which makes sense but tends to represent a level of inflexibility that can serve to make sure that if you’re looking to get busy with someone, it ain’t gonna happen and more so since once your list of deal breakers gets created, there’s no reason to change that list.

When you get too specific, you pretty much eliminate nearly all possibilities in favor of a sexual encounter with someone who may not really exist or you have zero chance of coming across, even using apps that can have a global reach.  It creates one hell of a deal breaker when you come across the “perfect” person you wanna have sex with… and they’re in Barcelona, Spain, or some other locale ya might not be able to get to.

A long time ago, someone asked me how I managed to get [perhaps] more than my fair share of dick and, essentially, it’s because while I have my share of deal breakers, I don’t have many of them and some can be adjusted on a per case basis. It had occurred to me, lo those many years ago, that if I needed some dick (or even some pussy) it would be in my best interest to make it as easy as possible on my end since that’s the only part of this I can truly control.

Some guys, when advertising themselves, write profiles that are instant deal breakers, often because of what they say but also because of what they don’t say… and how they say something; it seems to me that some dudes just lack an understand of the power of words and how they can greatly influence a deal and utterly shatter one.  Sometimes, the deal breaker can be as simple as not reading someone’s profile; nothing instantly trashes a deal quicker than to have a guy hit you up and tell you he’s gonna so some shit to you that your profile says you’re not interested in.

Or making it known that if you wanna get with him, you’re gonna essentially be required to pay for the privilege… or maybe about a billion more things that, again, will pretty much guarantee that if you were looking for some action, you ain’t gonna get any.  And, if you’ve been sitting around wondering why you can’t find someone to have sex with, um, the problem might not be external, to be polite about it…

 
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Posted by on 20 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Romancing the Bone… Uh, Stone

I was checking my email when this invaded my thoughts and probably because I haven’t quite finished my first cup of coffee.  For whatever reason, my brain formulated a question:  What bothers newbie bi guys and makes them reluctant to take that leap?  My brain, helpful critter it can be, supplied the answer: Romance.

I’ve seen men write about their new, strange feelings; some are surprised that after years of consorting with women, they now have a rather powerful urge to straddle the fence and check out the action with men in some form.  Some of these guys wind up postponing their leap, refusing to take that first step until they can locate someone they can be into, eschewing casual sex hookups because – and I’m kinda guessing (not enough coffee yet) that it’s because casual sex is said to have no real value or merit.

Some guys get shackled by the scary notion that in order for them to follow through with whatever’s on their mind about this, oh, hell, no, a romantic entanglement is gonna happen and those guys almost unilaterally say that they have no interest in dating other men or even getting romantically involved even if they’re single.  I sit and read their concerns as well as talk to my “protege,” Cityman, about this aspect and while he’s fine with establishing friendships and doesn’t say that anything more romantic is impossible, he’s not exactly of a mind to “settle down” with some handsome hunk and play house.

While the first hints of caffeine were hitting my system to clear away the cobwebs, I found myself thinking about “hearts, not parts,” a kind of mantra being expressed by some in newer bisexual circles and one that makes me roll my eyes even though I understand what they’re saying about this and how important it is to some… but as I usually say about this, not many bisexuals dive blindly into the sex that’s possible without considering the person – or people – they want to have this sex with or, eventually, wind up getting busy with.  To go charging in without giving the other guy a good look is kinda crazy although,admittedly, some guys will bypass the getting to know you first part and go for what they know because as far as they’re concerned, getting to know the other guy first is a complete waste of time that could be put to better use fornicating.

Is romance a necessary motivator, a mandatory prerequisite to stripping down and handle the business of making hard dicks soft again?  That depends on the individual guy and what other needs he has outside of the physical ones.  Because a lot of this seems to be borne out of a need for instant gratification, anything that looks like romance is to be avoided; for one, romance takes time – like days, weeks, or months – and a blowjob takes a lot less time while, on the other hand, there are a lot of bi guys who just do not want to find themselves being labeled as gay because they’re becoming an item with a good fuck/suck/jerk buddy.  While some men bask in the heady rush of multiple male partners, some would prefer not to bed-hop and find one compatible fella and, at the very least, establish a Friends With Benefits setting.  Now, at least in my mind, FWB is a mode of relationship and one that, in theory, lacks the deeper emotional connection that is the hallmark of traditional-style relationships.

Or, “Ralph” might love having sex with “Andy” but neither man ain’t trying to hear falling in love with each other and,as such, will go out of their respective ways to keep any feelings of affection off the table.  It’s understandable but I’ve wondered if guys who take this approach really understand that the longer you’re interacting with someone, the more you get to learn about them and, combined with sex, that makes the possibility of that which they’re trying to avoid possible.  So while some bi guys work hard to keep things in a “parts, never the hearts” kind of mode, trying to keep out the other things can prove to be problematic.  Now, some guys don’t mind and actually prefer a bit more of an emotional connection that’s beyond “friendship” but I have a sense that with other guys, the moment they begin to realize that their FWB situation is about to take a more serious turn, they’re gonna bail on it because not only are deeper modes of relationship a bitch to deal with, “Ralph” falling in love with “Andy” is just too gay for them.

Which makes me laugh because they seem to think this is more gay than whatever the two of them are doing in bed together; this also makes me wonder if they really understand just how powerful sex is and what it’s capable of, oh, like maybe “convincing” them to fall in love.

This new generation of bisexuals is rather adamant that “hearts, not parts” should be the driving force for any bisexual activities and, again, while this has merit, methinks the reality they don’t wanna see or acknowledge that a lot of bisexuality is still about the parts and doing some pretty interesting things with those parts in the name of mutual sexual satisfaction.  Yes – investing in one person is safer in that the more you know about them and their history, you can better avoid some of the ailments; going this route also satisfies the angst some folks have about casual sex and, as such, lends an air of legitimacy and meaning whenever they straddle the fence and do orgasm-inducing things to each other.  Indeed, by engaging in bed-hopping, which is riskier, the problem of emotional entanglement with someone can be avoided; once more, a full out sexual session takes a hell of a lot less time than establishing a romantic connection does so, at least in theory, bed-hopping doesn’t allow one to spend any more time with someone than it takes to bust a couple of nuts.

Time for more coffee…

 
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Posted by on 20 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  “He Nutted in Me!”

It’s a sensation that women are familiar with when they get bonked, humped, screwed, porked, poked, and way too many more creative descriptors.  There probably aren’t too many men who hasn’t, at some point in their lives, asked a woman what that feels like and, perhaps, expecting to hear an erotic description… only to remain kinda baffled when she blinks, thinks, and replies, “It feels good…”

There are gay men who knows what this feels like, just as there are bi men who knows what this feels like and, admittedly, uh, ya gotta go through some… stuff… in order to find out what it feels like to be screwed and inseminated.  Also admittedly, doing all the things in order to experience this sensation is enough to send the toughest man running for the hills and for some the mere thought of having a hard dick literally reaming them out can invoke such feelings of dread; I’ve heard men relate that they’d rather take a high load in the mouth or get it blasted in their face – and some of those men don’t suck dick.

I know what it feels like (duh, right?) and as extensive as my vocabulary is, I can’t really explain it although some of the other feelings associated with this are delight, relief, disgust, remorse, and indifference – explaining that last descriptor isn’t easy either.  Some guys experience getting boned and realize that even though they may have had a good idea of what it would be like, ah, man, the actual experience might it match the rose-colored idea in their head.

I know some guys watch porn depicting anal sex; some guys might have the thought that, hmm, theynwish someone would let them do that – and some guys just might ask themselves, “I wonder what that feels like?” as they watch the usual big dick worming it way in and out of someone’s butt and if they’re watching the right porn flick, get to watch the receiver getting inseminated.

Except, those folks in the flick are professionals and, of course, you don’t see what goes on behind the scenes (no pun… okay,  it’s a pun) to get everyone prepared for it so that when the scene is being shot, wow, it looks so easy, doesn’t it?  Those of you with anal experience know that it’s not that easy and I’ve seen guys watching porn containing anal sex and have heard them say (or mutter), “That looks painful…”

All that trivia aside, this scribbling isn’t about the inherent discomfort of getting boned in the butt; it’s really about the nearly obscene pleasure of having another guy fucking you… and the equally obscene – but oddly pleasant – sensation of feeling him busting a nut in you and even if he’s wearing a condom.  Like, man, those pulses… whew…

Remember that damned feeling I wrote about the other day?  In my opinion – and, once more, without any offense to women – the only thing that’ll make you have that feeling other than being fucked is feeling that guy emptying his balls in your asshole.  It’s primal in ways I can’t really explain, something that feels right but terribly wrong because, of course, the rules say that men aren’t supposed to be busting a nut in another man’s ass.  It’s pleasing in ways that isn’t easy to explain other than to say that it feels good or it feels weird… but still nice and, oddly, it’s the “reward” at the end that makes what you had to endure to get there worth it.

Or not; that would depend on how much you like getting screwed in the butt and the person screwing you; that he’s unloading inside you can often be seen as a blessing in disguise and you’re damned happy he’s creamed you so he can get out of you and the sooner, the better.  As I’ve said so many times and in so many writings, as men, we can really get to experience and understand what women go through, up close and very damned personal.

So, one day, I was talking a a guy I was kinda mentoring quite a few years ago and he’d worked his way from jerking another guy off to sucking another guy off and where he liked those things, he seemed very eager to takemthst next step and get screwed.  We spent a lot of hours talking about that and, honestly, I was really trying to talk him out of it; some guys think this is a great idea until the first time they feel a cock knob spreading their hole open.  We talked preparation, talked about training his body to get used to something “big” going in, as well as learning how to make his body relax.

He was determined to experience getting humped but he’d also said, “I wanna get screwed… but I don’t want him to nut in me.”  We’d talked at great length about that, beginning with me saying to him, “Um, if you let a guy screw you, uh, what do you think is gonna happen at some point?”

“I know but the guy who screws me will have to pull it out before he cums!” he said emphatically.

“is there a reason why?” I asked, thinking that before he answered, I knew why.

“I ain’t no girl, ya know?” he answered indignantly.

Yeah, that’s what I thought he’d say and I did tell him that while some guys would honor your request and withdraw, oh, boy, there are some guys who just might agree to your terms… and bust a nut in you anyway.  

Ladies – y’all know about this one, right?

I recall being a bit baffled about his indignant response because, um, dude, like it or not, if some cat is screwing you, you are being screwed like a girl but I could understand what he was saying; some guys love to suck dick but don’t want a guy busting a nut in his mouth, not because of the way sperm tastes… but because of that damned feeling.

I guess it was maybe a month or so later when my “student” called me and told me that he’d finally been screwed and he wanted to talk about his experience.  I was actually rather proud of him when he said that he handled the discomfort well and being fucked felt…good.  I had laughed because he could no more put it into words than I could.

While he talked, I got the sense there was a “but” coming (okay, no puns this time) and after listening to him stumbling through trying to explain how it felt to him, he said, “But he nutted in me after I told him not to!”

And, yes, friends, I started laughing – I just couldn’t help it anymore than I could not say, “I told you, didn’t I?” I got a grip on myself and asked him how he felt about that.  Before he answered, he suggested that my parents weren’t married when I was born… then said that, at first, he was livid and fighting mad and said that when he felt it being shot into him, “Man, I felt like a little bitch!”

“Why do you think you were feeling like that?” I’d asked.

“Um, ah, shit, might have been because I was moaning… a lot,” he eventually said after almost two minutes of silence that had made me think we’d got cut off.

“I see… so it was bad because he ignored your request not to nut in you but perhaps not as bad as you thought?” I asked.

“Something like that,” he said, his tone of voice telling me he was quite embarrassed by his reaction to being inseminated.

“Okay, so now you’ve had the experience and you know what it all feels like; will you do it again?” I asked and because some guys do experience the full effect of being fucked and never want to experience it again; the emotions after the fact can be very difficult to work through.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.  “He nutted in me, man, and I don’t know how I feel about that…”

I don’t know if he ever did it again as day to day things made us pass like two ships in the darkest of nights but I could understand how getting nutted in had made him feel.  Like I said way back in the beginning of this, it can make you feel good, make you feel totally disgusted, make you feel blissfully – or gratefully – relived, and oddly indifferent, like you really didn’t care whether he busted in you or not.  That one, I’d have to say, doesn’t happen often but it happens and even I have no idea why except maybe in those situations where getting porked sounded like a good idea at the time but by the time the other guy busts, eh, not that great of an idea when it’s all said and done.

Really, really hard to explain that one…

Some men feel that they can fuck a guy or be fucked and as long as that nut doesn’t get busted on the inside, it’s somehow not “gay,” a sentiment that tends to make me roll my eyes a lot because, duh, just because someone didn’t inject – or get injected – does not remove the homosexual aspect of what just happened.  Sorry, fellas – it just doesn’t; whether he nutted in you or not, ya got boned just the same and now it’s simply a matter if you liked it or not.  Some guys say that if some swinging dick is gonna be inside them like that, the owner had better bust that nut in there or there’s gonna be an issue; some guys feel that it’s safer if that doesn’t happen (nah, technically, not really, but I’m not gonna get into that).

It’s an interesting experience and if nothing else, you get to experience something that, supposedly, only women should experience.  And if you’ve ever really and seriously been curious about what it feels like, well, there’s only one real way to find out, huh?  Sure, you can ask someone but as mentioned, ya might not get an answer that makes a lot of sense because having someone busting a nut in you evokes a lot of intangible things that there are just no words for.

 
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Posted by on 19 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  The Blow Job

The room reeked of males caught in the throes of sexual excitement, all hot, musky, pungent, and heavily dosed with pheromones as “Ryan” and I sucked on each other, both of us intent on making the other cum while holding back our respective loads for as long as possible.

As usual for me, as I happily sucked Ryan’s nuts, I’d found myself thinking about how the two of us had wound up in this moment, almost laughing despite now having my mouth full of Ryan’s short but fat dick.  I thought that I wouldn’t say that our beingnhere like this started out innocently; nope, I’d known for almost a month that Ryan had something to tell me and, if I was right, something he wanted to ask me.

As much as I had wanted to know, I was usually patient and willing to wait until Ryan finally said something.  Three days ago, as we sat in a nearby park eating the subs we opted to have for lunch – and after deeming that the cafeteria’s offering didn’t exactly qualify as human consumable food – Ryan finally got around to haltingly talking about sucking dick and asking the usual questions, like, had I ever done it or thought about doing it and if a guy wanted to blow me, would I let him do it.

My patience had long since expired so instead of answering his questions, I suggested – with emphasis- that he stop beating around the bush and ask me what we both knew he wanted to ask.  With his face as red as a proverbial beet, he told me he really liked me and if I’d let him blow me, that would make him happy.  Now, at this point I could have teased and played with him but, nah; I’d already decided that if he wanted to do what I thought he did, well, okay, i wasn’t gonna say no.  So, I said, “Sure, why not?” and we made a plan to hook up over the weekend.

It almost didn’t happen.  I’d been on my way to Ryan’s crib when this fine neighborhood honey finally decided, after months of chasing her, to let me in her panties; a hastily made call to him revealed that I’d have time to screw the girl and get cleaned up because Ryan’s parents hadn’t left yet.  After taking care of the business with the girl and rushing home to get cleaned up again, I found myself knocking on Ryan’s door, being let in, and led straight to his bedroom where we got undressed and got right to the business at hand after exchanging pleasantries.

We lay down beside each other into that more comfortable sixty-nine position and when Ryan closed his mouth around me, well, I almost laughed when I heard and felt his moan – I was sure he could taste and smell the pussy on me despite washing up; there was, after all, a reason why a blow jib was also known as a hummer.  It fueled his lust and he took it out on my dick which, of course, prompted me to take my soaring lust out on his.

As I’ve mentioned, Ryan’s cock was short but fat and it had taken me a bit of time to convince him (while we were plotting for the weekend) that it didn’t matter to me if his dick wasn’t long and that for blow jobs, shorter was easier to suck.  I grinned inwardly, as I sucked on his knob before taking all of him in, thinking that if he didn’t believe me when I told him, he’s probably a believer now.

He was such a pleasure to suck and his ability to give head wasn’t anything to sneer at.  We were both getting close; I could feel those little tremors racing along his shaft, could taste all that pre-cum oozing into my mouth and, damn it, I wanted to get him off and taste his cum… but I also didn’t want him to cum so I could keep sucking his cock.  Still, I felt Ryan stiffen, felt him groaning with my dick in his mouth, and felt and tasted the sperm jetting out of him, just a scant second or two before I flooded his mouth with spunk.

It was a little “difficult” but we kept sucking at each other until we began to soften; then we kinda pulled away from each other and spent a few moments getting the kinks out before looking at each other and grinning like idiots.  We were both hot and sweaty and his bedroom was humming with the fresh scent of sex and we both kinda stretched out on our backs but stayed close enough so we could fondle each other, while extolling how good that was and complimenting each other on both skill and desire.  And, yes, he even mentioned that smelling and tasting pussy on me had really turned him on just as I had thought.

Neither of us had to ask if there was gonna be a round two – that somehow was an unspoken given – so we took some time to raid the fridge for food and drink before returning to the bedroom and starting the long process of making each other cum again.  I thought about how easy it was doing this with Ryan, not because for me his cock was perfect for sucking but we weren’t trying to impress each other or make each other exceed their ability to suck dick.

We just lay there side by side, licking and sucking and massaging each other’s butt cheeks until after what seemed to take forever, I came, followed by Ryan just moments later.  He made me laugh when he shyly apologized for not producing a lot of cum; instead, I just smiled and asked, “You came didn’t you?”

And, as it turned out, not a moment too soon.  We were both very much aware of how musky and funky Ryan’s room was now and we’d opened the windows and he even turned on a box fan he had in his closet to air the room out… and before his parents had returned from wherever they’d been.  I’d not met them so Ryan introduced us – they were very pleasant – and they evennthanked me for coming over to keep Ryan company while they were out, not that he wasn’t old enough to be home alone and look after himself.

I politely turned down an invitation to stay for dinner, told Ryan that I’d see him in school on Monday, and went home a very happy camper.

 
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Posted by on 17 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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