Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “How Do You Know?”

There are untold numbers of men who want to suck dick and one of the things that’s stopping them from doing it is being concerned about the taste and consistency of spunk and assuming that it’s going to be bad. Here’s the thing that I think escapes a lot of people – and sexuality notwithstanding: If you’ve never done it, how do you know it’s gonna be bad?

Chances are that if you think it’s bad, it’s because someone else told you that they had a horrible experience sucking dick and dealing with spunk and it stands to reason that if you hear it enough and from different sources, well, it must be true, right? Well, it is… and it isn’t. Is it the alleged acquired taste? It sure is! But, if you taste it, will it be the nastiest stuff you’ve ever tasted? Maybe… and maybe not.

Good old Doc KDaddy is here today to tell you some things about this that you may or may not know and may or may not change your mind about this. First, let’s talk about taste and that while you taste things with your tongue, your nose also plays a huge role in how something tastes. If you’ve ever had a head cold, you know that things seem to have no taste or tastes different, right? Nothing wrong with your tongue but it’s your nose that’s messed up an preventing you from tasting things as they should taste or even changing the way it tastes.

A classic experiment is to take something that has a taste you’re familiar with, hold your nose, then eat it… and you’re not going to taste it the way you would if you weren’t holding your nose. Give it a try.

Next, sperm doesn’t have a taste… but seminal fluid does – aka pre-cum and the substance that aids in delivering sperm to their destination. Yes, it’s true that pre-cum (if you will) tends to taste like whatever the other guy has been ingesting – and that includes things he inhales but the actual sperm? Tasteless… but go back and re-read what I said about your nose then add in the fact that when a lot of people suck cock,,they tend to breathe through their mouth more than their nose, which also affects the taste of things, effecting cutting the nose out of the loop.

Tack on what someone’s skin tastes like as well as the fact that you’ve got your head between their legs and even though they can be squeaky clean down there, there are other scents (and some you’re not consciously aware of) that can impact the taste of what you’re doing. While it’s true that if you can’t smell it, you might not be able to taste it, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things interacting with your mouth and tongue just the same.

Another thing about taste and your tongue. You know it’s covered with taste buds and maybe you also know that certain areas of your tongue tastes different things – bitter, sweet, salty and you tend to taste more thing over the front half of your tongue where there are more taste buds… but there aren’t that many near the back of your tongue and some employ the trick of catching the spunk closer to the back of their tongue and diluting it with saliva; it not only can cut down the taste somewhat but make it easier to swallow.

Oh, and swallow as quickly as you can – the longer it stays in your mouth, the more of a chance you’re gonna eventually taste it. Now, some who’ve tried it and didn’t like it might tell you about some, ah, adverse reactions like having the runs and while this isn’t fun, it’s simply a thing of the spunk you swallowed upset the water balance in your gut because the spunk was too salty or too alkaline.

Then there’s the psychological aspect to all of this and the fact that most of us are of a mind that if something was bad this time, it will always be bad going forward. Likewise, if someone – and, particularly someone we trust – tells us a thing was bad for them, we assume that it will be bad for us… even though we’ve never done it. It makes us develop an aversion to something that we’ve not experienced or, if we have, well, we won’t be doing that again, will we? It makes us not think of the other fact that just because it wasn’t pleasant this time and with this person doesn’t mean that it will always be unpleasant – with that person or anyone else for that matter.

But we believe that it will be… and you’ve just mind fucked yourself; think about that one for a moment or two while I keep typing.

The assumption is that if you suck cock, you must let the guy cum in your mouth and you must swallow it… and you don’t have to if you don’t want to and regardless of what the guy would like for you to do. You can take it into your mouth and either let it dribble out or you can spit it out – or when he starts to cum, um, just take the dick out of your mouth – how hard is that? Sure, the guy might get miffed that you did this but, um, he’s not the one dealing with this, is he? And that goes for M2M situations where the guy getting his dick sucked would rather eat shit and die before he sucks a dick and swallow some sperm – but he’s expecting, requiring, and sometimes even demanding that you swallow his load.

It’s because of this behavior that I’ll tell a guy that you shouldn’t ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do but that’s another subject for another time. This scribble asks the question, “How do you know?” and while some people can say that they know because they’ve had a bad taste experience, even these folks will develop an aversion that could make them stop sucking cock altogether, again, with the thought that it was bad this time so it’ll always be bad.

We hear the horror stories told by others and, again, believe that because it was bad for them, shit, I’m probably not gonna like it either… and maybe you won’t… or maybe you’ll be like so many others who learn that doing this ain’t as bad as they thought or as others have said. Fact is that you won’t know for yourself unless you do it and if you’ve done it before and didn’t like it, don’t assume you’re not gonna like it again, which isn’t an easy thing to get away from because the one bad experience will almost always prejudice your thoughts about it and even override your intelligence.

You may very well know that the cock sucking experience can be different but once that prejudice sets into your mind, guess what you’re not gonna do and if you do go ahead and swallow, your brain is gonna tell you it’s horrible… when it probably really wasn’t and instead of this being a fun thing to do, you’d rather sit and watch paint dry.

But before you make any judgements about sucking cock and swallowing, learn the facts and don’t always buy into the hype and horror stories served up by others. Maybe this time it didn’t taste so good… doesn’t mean it won’t taste good the next time and if this is someone you’re always sucking and they taste “funny,” sure, find out what they’ve been eating and drinking; are they taking medications and even something ordinary like aspirin or acetaminophen?

Do they drink diet drinks that have other sweeteners in them? Like their lemonade a bit more on the tart side? Are they a fan of liver and onions or they really love garlic? All of this and more can affect the taste of spunk both in good and no so good ways but what I’m saying is don’t just take my word for it even though I’m not bullshitting you about any of this. Find out for yourself and if you run into a funky taste, just spit it out.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: More “Eye of the Beholder” Stuff

There’s an older post on the bi guy forum where a guy wrote and asked why looking at a guy’s junk, essentially, gave him a great sense of appreciation.  Indeed, the human male penis comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, with and without foreskin and despite it being said that if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, that’s not really true – our dicks are unique to us with probably the only exception being identical twins (who aren’t really as identical as they appear to be, or so it’s said).

We eat with our eyes first and through the experiences we gain as we get older, we develop a sense of what looks “good” to us and what things gives us the creeps or otherwise is revolting to us and dicks can fall into this category easily enough for instance, my sense of aesthetics says that uncut dicks can look pretty hideous but in order to see the beauty in such a dick, I have to be able to set aside my “opinion” of them in order to see that there’s a beauty to them.  Now, this doesn’t mean that just because the dick looks good I’ll want to be all on it like a bad habit; no, this is about seeing the beauty in something that “personal preferences” might not want me to see.  We think about dicks and we think about function and even whether it looks good and exciting enough to play with it and this process can, at times, not allow one to see that not only are all cocks unique to their owners, there is a beauty to them and whether they’re flaccid or erect.

Cityman and I often trade dick pics we find all over the place and while the discussion is usually about whether we’d play with it or not, the one thing we almost always agree on is that while we might not be inclined to get all up close and personal with a given dick, it’s very nice to look at.  It’s not that we don’t totally ignore form because we can be pretty picky about the size of the dick we’d want very much to play with – think about size queens and this’ll make sense.  Still, we can see a picture of a cock – hard or not – and it seems we kinda “automatically” think about what, if anything we’d want to do with it and based on the way it looks – length, girth, cut or uncut, whether it’s straight or curved in some way, how the knob is shaped, etc..  Cityman sent me a pic of a guy who literally was hung down to his knees and while we debated what, if anything, could be done with such a prodigious monster, we both readily agree that it was a thing of beauty to behold.

It’s okay to look at a cock and say, “Yeah, I’d be all over it!” or “Oh, hell, no – I wouldn’t even try to (add something here)!” – but if you’re unable to see and appreciate the beauty in the cock being observed, eh, that’s probably not a good thing since a true sense of appreciation goes beyond that which appeals to our sense of aesthetics or our tendency to get fixated on a certain “type” of cock and to the point where other cocks are just summarily ignored.  I mean, shit, even I had to learn to get past my revulsion of even looking at an uncut dick and get past the fact that while I’d had a few uncut dicks in my butt, I would never put my mouth on one nor was I all that interested in touching it.  And I seriously had to make a focused, determined effort to get this out of my head because it didn’t make sense to kick a guy to the curb for a blow job just because he had foreskin – a little or a lot didn’t matter at the time.  I got past this and while there are some uncut dicks with foreskins that give me the shivers, I can see the beauty in its form and being able to see this, I think, is key for bi guys to be able to expand their horizons beyond their preferences.

I go on the site and read about guys musing about the kind of cock they’d prefer to play with while some guys state that they don’t give a fuck what it looks like as long as it works, well, not everyone shares that opinion.  I think about my former aversion and see other men having a similar aversion, like the guys who think that cut cocks wouldn’t be fun to play with, they look funny, stuff like that and this “misguided” attention to form tends to make us forget that no matter what they look like, uh, they all pretty much work the same way in that despite form, the function of going from flaccid to erect and returning to flaccidity after ejaculation still works the same way even if a guy does this quickly or takes slightly short of forever to undergo these stages of functionality.

I bring this all up to point out that we tend to be slaves to our preferences and that we think more about what “kind” of dick we want to play with than we do give a lot of thought to the fact that we can do whatever with any dick presented to us and all because we eat with our eyes first and have developed preferences, opinions and even mild prejudices because we’re thinking of form in the wrong sense.  It is true that for many things, form follows function and we do tend to believe that guys with shorter cocks don’t “function” as well as guys with bigger cocks which, in a way, reveals another shortcoming we tend to have in thinking about the person attached to the dick… but not so much what the dick can do despite it’s “unappetizing” appearance.  Still, if you can teach yourself to see the inherent beauty in the human male penis, this can go a long way toward one’s goal to play with a dick in some way because, let’s face it – it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you want to suck on a dick, there’s a guy willing to let you do this, but you kick him to the curb because his cock doesn’t meet your sense of what looks good.  This isn’t about the possibility of literally biting off more than you can chew – this is about… resetting visual preferences to a basic level, as it were; if you’re unable to appreciate the beauty all cocks have – and unwilling to look for it – then you’re really limiting your chances to experience a lot of dicks and more so when you’ve found that you resonate with the owner of the dick.

When you see one, you really don’t see them all but, then again, the basic form just is what it is despite size, shape, color, foreskin or no foreskin and because of these things, form does follow function but not in the “bigger is always better” kind of way most guys think about when it comes to a cock and is just another one of those things where I’d say that we have to look with better eyes than what we normally tend to do.  Today, I can look at an uncut cock and while a part of my mind will say, “Ew, his foreskin looks fugly!” I can appreciate the beauty that’s there and, yeah, I’d just peel that foreskin back and suck that dick until he begs for someone to save him… which no one will be able to do until my attention to function has run its course.

In truth, it doesn’t have to be pretty – it just needs to work.

Ah, damn – forgot to mention something along these lines:  Pussy.  Just as with cocks, if you’ve seen one, you haven’t really seen them all because they’re also unique to the individual and they’re either pretty to look at – with or without hair – or not so much but just because it doesn’t look good doesn’t mean that it isn’t gonna be good to play with.  I know guys who will see an “ugly” pussy and won’t go anywhere near it or if they do, it’s all they can do to keep their revulsion at bay… but any pussy can be eaten and take a hard dick (there are exceptions of course but I’m not talking about any of them)… but only if one can set aside their aesthetic sense and see the beauty in a woman’s pussy.  Just thought I’d toss this in because, yeah, this is something that guys can be funny about and as much as they can be about dicks.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Male Bonding

During a chat with Cityman yesterday, he was telling me about a sports bar he (and some friends) were hanging out at where guys gather, drink beer, bet on games and, um, head off to the men’s room for a slightly different kind of sport that requires the use of hands or mouths.  He mentioned that all of this is “under the guise of masculine bro-ishness” and I replied, “Is it truly  “under the guise” and an attempt at some sort of camouflage… or is it just male bonding with a little extra maleness involved?”

The bro code seems to say – kinda/sorta – that bros should be able to hang out and in some cases part of the hanging out process could include some extra activity – think bro job – if the bros are down with that.  Cityman came back and his reply contained this:  “An attempt to M2M sex under normal hetero bro bonding protocols and customs.”  And I came back, begging to differ with him about this “normal hetero bonding protocols” and more so since, at least to me, sexuality has never played a role in how we – men – bond with each other and the so-called bro code notwithstanding, there aren’t any cut and dried protocols in play because we tend to bond with other guys at whatever level the bond can occur and, sure, if the established bond allows us to kick back and play with each other’s dicks, well, why not… and does it work for the bonded bros?

I went on to say that bonds are formed by commonality, those things that [literally] we have in common other than just being guys and those things could just as literally be anything, from a couple of guys having a love for classic cars to being fans of the same sport and/or team – anything – as well as it’s also quite possible that guys who are polar opposites can bond with each other because of the differences in their personality, mindset, etc..  We can find reason (or more than one) to like a guy; some guys instantly bond with each other and in a spectacular way – think bromance here, okay? – while some guys find themselves sharing a bond over a period of time and exposure to each other, oh, like going to the local sports bar and knocking back some brews, several dozen of wings and just having a grand time rooting for the team they’re both fans of… or engaging in some good-natured ribbing and trash talking when they’re not fans of the same team.

This, by itself, doesn’t mean or imply that the bros are going to do anything other than hang out with each other but if getting each other hard and making each other soft again happens to be one of the things they have in common or are otherwise kinda/sorta interested in, well, okay… and given all the stuff going around about bromances and bro jobs, if two guys have bonded to this degree, it’s just boys being boys – just a hell of a lot older.  That men bond with each other isn’t unusual and often there’s no rhyme or reason why we do so I’m thinking that if a couple of guys establish a bond that extends to hand or blow jobs, I can’t imagine why anyone would be all that surprised about it given that, these days – and thanks to the bro job thing – taking a bond to this level of activity is being seen more as being quite masculine; then when you add in all the jokes about two guys in a serious bromance, well, I’m thinking it’s just another way that we can bond with each other – nothing unusual going on here, nothing to see, folks – move along, move along.

If there were some kind of heterosexual bonding protocols and customs (and I still don’t believe such things ever really existed), the lines are either being expanded or erased and, methinks, based on what things a couple of guys find they have in common with each other and how much they learn about each other in their bonded friendship.  I recall, several years ago, reading something that was called “the thug mentality,” a code of behavior that defined a specific kind of behavior between men that called for respecting each other, showing respect for women and, I’ll say, other sensible ways to behave that frowns at forms of violence against each other.  The thing I read, however, mentioned that there was an unspoken and “unwritten” part of the “thug code” that said that those who follow the code should be able to have sex with their bro if and when it’s called for and that doing so is not only very masculine, it also denotes great respect for each other and it was also kinda/sorta implied that anyone upholding the code who refused to show this kind of “love” to another is a punk-assed bitch and needs to get with the program ASAP.

True enough, there are those who hold true to this “code of brotherhood” but they’re not gonna throw it down with another dude and they could care less what is thought of them because they’d never do such a thing… but that there are guys who wouldn’t object to some guy on guy action, not because they’re gay or “in love” with each other – it’s just a thing to do between guys who share a bond that goes that deep.  One could argue that if bonded guys would do this with each other – and they’re still engaging in sex with women – then they’re really bisexual and, perhaps, should identify as such but not so much since there are a lot of guys who go both ways and don’t consider themselves to be bisexual and simply because they can’t imagine themselves being in a relationship with another dude and, as an aside, I think this is the height of unimaginable bullshit to think or otherwise believe that being bisexual has anything to do with wanting to be in a same-sex relationship.  Nope, such guys very likely see playing with a dick as a “simple” matter of convenience, like, why wait until you get home to get a blow job when your bro is here right now and you know he’d not object to giving and getting some head?

Still – and I’ll say regardless of this “extension of activity,” men bond with each other and in whatever way it can happen.  We’ve always bonded with each other and we will continue to bond with each other but, again, sure – if part of the shared bond involves a bro job kind of thing, the bond will be expressed in the way it needs to be.  I’ll also remind you that not all men bond to this level so anyone trying to generalize male bonding and “assume” that we all bond to this degree would be making a huge mistake – this ain’t one of those “if one does it, they all do it” kind of things.  Yes, indeed:  Men do have sex with each other and not all men who do are homosexual or even consider themselves bisexual; they’re not romantically “in love” with a guy they share a bond with and according to the way bro jobs are said to happen, it’s “simply” a matter of what a guy would do for his bro to help him deal with things in his life.  In my “closing comments” to Cityman about this “phenomenon,” I wrote:

“It’s not unlike men to take it a step further; if we could sneak in the men’s room and jerk each other off – and because neither of us are opposed to this, then why not?  If we’re both of a mind that some M2M cock sucking is good clean and healthy fun, why not meet at the sports bar, or five tons of wings and a keg of beer, watch the game and then either celebrate the victory with some mutual cock sucking… or console our team’s loss with the same cock sucking?”

“”I’m sorry your boys sucked and lost the game – how about we go back to my place and I’ll suck your dick and hopefully you’ll better about that loss!””

Could it really happen like that between guys who share this deep of a bond?  You betcha it could because no matter how old we get, boys will still be boys and I think the most important thing isn’t what we may or may not do if we share a bond with a guy – it’s that we’re able to form such a bond in the first place, which is better than being enemies and foisting testosterone-driven violence against each other.  Rodney King asked, “Can’t we all just get along?” or something to that effect and when we bond with each other, we are getting along with each other… and, yup, sometimes that getting along thing can include playing with each other’s dick in some way if the commonality within the bond can accommodate it.  And even if it doesn’t go that far or deep, the bond still is what it is and I’d even point out that gay men bond with each other and in ways that sex has nothing to do with.  I even mentioned to Cityman that he could be in a sports bar and find himself bonding with a lesbian woman because they’re fans of the same team – a point of commonality – but that doesn’t mean that she’s gonna have sex with him, does it?  It’s still a bond even if it’s temporary – they have something in common but other than that?  And it’s no big deal nor should it be because, again, bonds happen along lines of commonality and you can’t really point to any one thing in this nor, again, can you generalize male bonding to say it’s always sexual in nature.

Cityman feels that men should be able to bond with each other and to this degree and without getting their heads handed to them and getting called out for being gay or otherwise given the evil eye and shunned.  Our society, however, is still very much about heterosexuality as the only allowable sexual orientation (and despite the inroads homosexuals have made in the last ten years or so) so it’s not like society is suddenly going to give this deep level of male bonding its gold stamp of approval…  but the lack of this approval isn’t going to stop some guys from bonding to this intimate level – it never has and I doubt it ever will.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Instant Gratification

Cityman hit me up just a few minutes ago and shared a profile he came across that, when read, oh, dear, was so exacting and precise about what the author wanted that my eyes rolled so hard they hurt for a moment.  I read the profile, read what Cityman had to say about it, and my first response was, “I want what I want and the way I want it!”  Indeed, one of the things I often sit and think about these days is how complicated people make things compared to the relative ease of days gone by when it came to getting laid or, if settling down with someone was more your cup of tea and a primary goal in your life, having a relationship that not only included sex but could lead to something more lasting.

In my opinion, people today seem to be more worried about what they want than what they’re able to work with and if you’re into checking out the various sites that exist for the purposes of sex and relationships, you can see a gazillion examples of what I’m talking about.  Now, I don’t say that a person doesn’t have a right to want what they want and the way they want it… I do, however, say that there’s a good chance that if you’re putting yourself out there to get what you want and the way you want it, ya might not get it because the person you’re saying that would be “perfect” for you probably doesn’t exist.

Except in that space between one’s ears.  In the bi guy world, I see on a daily basis guys writing about the perfect dude they want to get busy with… and they’re also the guys who also write about not being able to find someone to get busy with and in the way they want to do this.  Cityman occasionally shows me other profiles written by both men and women with requirements that set the bar so high that it’s no wonder they’re still on the various sites looking for someone because there’s not a person on the planet that can meet and/or exceed the profile author’s demands and requirements… or that person hasn’t been born yet… or the chances that such an amazing person is a member of one of the many sites and will actually see such a profile are fairly astronomical.

And these folks who write such profiles sit around and wonder why they can’t find someone and for whatever purpose they’re asking for?  I’m not surprised because while “I want what I want and the way I want it” is a fine statement of personal purpose, because such a statement lacks flexibility and doesn’t take into account that people change, not just over a given period of time but literally from one moment to the next… and then I guess they expect that person to always be what they wanted, you know, as if people are truly static.  It’s unrealistic and while it is true that there’s someone out there for everyone, when you write down a lot of very exacting criteria, you’re gonna eliminate a whole lot of people who could, if you were willing to work at it, give you what you want and the way you want it.

Again, it’s okay to think about that one person you’d give yourself to mind, body, and/or soul; what would they look like, what qualities would they have that would make you all warm and fuzzy as well as willing and able to get your freak on comfortably.  Is it okay to take that imaginary person and try to breathe life into them?  Maybe… if you actually manage to run across that person but given that it’s unlikely that’s gonna happen, doesn’t it make sense to create a set of flexible criteria that sets the bar at a reasonable level so that someone can, at the least, get close to meeting them?

You’d think that would make better sense but these days you see more and more people putting up some pretty exacting specifications and conditions and in the world of bi guys, I often wonder if they do this in order not to do what they say they want to do.  A lot of guys want a guy whose prime feature is a really big dick and lord knows there are a whole lot of guys with dicks literally down to their knees… and if you asked them if a guy who’s cock is around average size would work for them, eh, they might say yes… but you can see in their words that an average sized cock doesn’t match the specifications they’ve set in their head.  Many of these same guys are adamant about a certain level of “being into” as well so that they can avoid the dreaded hookup when (I guess) the truth they don’t wanna face is that the majority of men looking to throw it down aren’t in the least bit interested in being into a guy, um, except literally be into them if you catch my drift.

Instant gratification, while sounding like a good thing to pursue, doesn’t always work the way it’s thought to work… or expected to work.  I will keep saying this for as long as I can draw breath – or work the keyboard – that if you’re not thinking about the person you can work with to take care of your wants and desires, you’re gonna find yourself all by yourself and not getting what you want.  I know that as a bisexual man, the “perfect” man I can create in my head, in all likelihood, doesn’t exist and, realistically, it’s not as if I’m going to take the time and put forth the effort to search the entire fucking world looking for this most perfect guy; sure, the Internet has made the world a smaller place by connecting everyone electronically…. but the world is still a pretty big fucking place.  Now, if I had chosen to hold out for that “perfect” person, um, chances are damned good that I would have never gotten laid, would have never been in a relationship of any kind… and the people who hold true to instant gratification are finding out that this is the fate they’ve set for themselves and I will always wonder why people set themselves up to fail and, importantly, why they feel that depriving themselves of human interaction is a smart – and healthy – thing to do.

The thing that makes instant gratification utterly fail is, again, not taking into consideration that no one is perfect or even close to being perfect; even better, we’re not as consistent as we think we want and/or need to be.  Our thoughts and feelings change and in slices of time that, often, we aren’t always aware of and our day to day stuff can affect or otherwise alter our thoughts and feelings.  Now, if you’re aware of how all of this can affect you, I’m sure you can imagine how these same things can affect someone else and, if so, does it really make sense to go on the hunt for someone and lay down a set of criteria that probably cannot be met? Or a person could meet those criteria at a particular moment in time… then fail to meet them – and literally – seconds later and if not them, over any period of time you care to think of.  The guy today who says that his ideal guy has to have eight or more inches of dick, be into him and willing to, at the least, be a FWB might find out the next day that instant gratification has failed them (again) because Mr. Perfect, you know, being human and all that, has failed to meet those expectations.

And I just don’t pretend to understand why people behave like this when it doesn’t make sense to pin all your hopes and dreams on a human being that may or may not exist or you’ll never come in contact with in your lifetime.  “I want what I want and the way I want it,” to me, is a sure way to set yourself up to fail or, as I often suspect again, to make sure that whatever it is you want someone else for – sex and/or a relationship of some kind – ain’t ever gonna happen.  I see so many examples of people talking about what they want in another person… and not so much about what person they can work with.  Indeed, women talk a lot about settling and as if that’s such a horrible thing to do… but they also find out that holding out for the guy or even gal they want to be with causes them to overlook everyone they could be with, you know, if they were willing to put in the work that’s required and that, my friends, seems to be the gist of this whole instant gratification thing:  People want all of the perks but don’t want to do any of the real work required.

I went back and re-read the profile that Cityman shared with me and I thought, “Hmph – this person is going to be one really lonely ass…” because anyone reading it would, in all likelihood, tell that person to get over themselves for having the utter gall to lay down what reads as some pretty arrogant requirements that someone has to meet to get with them in any imaginable way.  And I will say to anyone reading this that if you’re sitting and wondering why you’re alone or not having the sex you want, or ya don’t have someone who’s gonna be in your life longer than a couple of weeks, you might want to take a close look at how high you’ve set the bar and the complexity of the conditions you’ve set for acquiring love, sex, and relationships.  I say to you that, sure, you have the right to want what you want and the way you want it… but I ask you is it realistic and achievable?  Are you, in fact, doing the best thing for yourself by invoking instant gratification and sticking to your right to want what you want and in the way you want it?

This isn’t just a bisexual thing – people, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to behave like this and, indeed, a lot of people find themselves unsexed and lonely because they don’t meet someone else’s very exacting requirements and no one would ever give them a shot because it’s all about what they want… and not even close to what they’re willing and able to work with.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: So Familiar, Yet…

While doing my usual, daily routine, I went into Tumblr, cleared out the spam that’s infected the app, and the first thing I saw was two guys lying side by side and blowing each other… but what got my attention was the look on one of the guy’s face as he watched the other guy blowing him and that look said to me, “I don’t believe there’s a guy sucking my cock!”There’s this… perception that being blown by a man is different from being blown by a woman and I’ve long since lost count of how many newbie bi guys has asked what does it feel like to have a guy sucking your dick and as if there is something different other than the sex of the person giving you head.The truth is there’s nothing different about it – sucking dick is sucking dick and while there are differences in techniques and the level of desire felt and displayed by the one performing the act, um, no – not a whole lot of difference going on.Sure, visually, to open your eyes and see there’s a guy trying to suck the skin off of you can be a bit of a shock to the system since most of us are used to opening our eyes and seeing a woman handling the business. Still, unless you were blindfolded before the fact, I’m pretty sure that you’d be quite aware of who’s going down on you – it ain’t like you’ve somehow managed to forget that.This scribble isn’t about who does it better – it’s about the perception of difference that seems to be at work. There are times when I think that we tend to pay more attention to who’s doing this to spit than what’s being done and right along with the ancient taboo that suggests that, um, you shouldn’t allow another man to fellate you in the first place.Unless you’ve managed to live a horribly sheltered life, it’s not as if it’s unknown that men do suck each other’s dick and maybe, just maybe, it’s one thing to know this but a very different thing to actually experience it and I’ve actually heard guys talk about their first experience and express a sense of disappointment to find that having a guy sucking them wasn’t really all that different and as if they expected some transcendental experience to take place.”It was good/okay but I don’t see what the big deal is about it…” and I’ve been trying to get my head around this for quite some time (and since a lot of guys ask the question) and I’m no closer to figuring this out.What does it feel like to have a guy blowing you? Not any different from a woman doing it but what might be different is the end result… and even that depends on whether or not the cock being sucked is being sucked in preparation for something else like intercourse, that and these days, it’s no longer a given that if a guy blows you, he’s gonna get you off like that and swallow down the spunk as a matter of course.Again, perception versus truth and the truth is that not all guys give head nor do all guys want a mouthful of semen which, by the way and without any offense meant, isn’t any different from some women doing this, right?Perhaps the perceived difference is in who’s doing it and because it’s a guy doing the deed, well, shouldn’t it be different? Quelle surprise (what a surprise) to find out that the act of fellatio doesn’t differ between men and women and perhaps some guys are disappointed or even surprised to find that, nope, ain’t different at all except, again, technique, desire, and the intent – are you being sucked so that you’ll lose your load or in preparation to stick A into B?I dunno and while some might not think this to be of any import, it can be and more so should a guy be faced with having to explain to someone why a guy is sucking their cock instead of some babe. If you can’t explain why – and the supposed differences – ya might have… problems.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Shameless

During the morning routine of checking my apps, checking Tumblr presented me with two pics of my favorite things to do: Eat pussy and suck dick. I am, hopelessly and shamelessly, a fan of doing both things. My answer to the question of whether I prefer to eat pussy or suck dick is, “Yes!”

Both things requires a modicum of skill and technique but it’s always been my opinion that the most necessary ingredient is having great desire and passion to give someone head until they cum… or they wind up beating you off of them because you don’t wanna stop using your mouth, lips, and tongue on them.

And you can’t wait for them to regroup so you can go back down on them again.

I grew up in a time where women demanded that you lick it before you can stick it and just getting down there and giving the kitty a few token licks or – gasp – telling her you ain’t into that would be a very bad thing and no matter how good you could sling the dick at the pussy. Didn’t take me long to figure out that if a woman was gonna say something bad about me, it wouldn’t be that I couldn’t eat pussy worth a damn.

I’ve heard many people say that getting head does nothing for them and hearing this doesn’t as much make me wonder about them as it does make me wonder who was trying to orally please them… and failing at it. In the world of M2M, it’s my opinion that having cock sucking skills should be “mandatory” and more so since not all guys into M2M are into fucking (or being fucked); yet, there are guys who won’t suck a dick and even more guys who will suck dick… but won’t allow their own cock to be sucked.

I know it’s all about whatever floats one’s boat but, damn, it’s the best part of having sex with someone; it’s so intimate and it often surprises me that some people think, feel, and/or believe that giving someone head isn’t really intimate… or even sex.

Sure, giving head is hard work and I don’t mean just physically; you also have to contend with the receiver’s expectations and even their past history of getting eaten or blown and that can be harder than meeting their expectations, well, except when you have no idea what their expectations are other than they expect it to be good and they expect to cum… and even more of a challenge when you’re told that no one’s ever been able to make them cum orally.

I love a good challenge… and if you love to give head, not taking on such a challenge kinda/sorta doesn’t make sense. Sure, ya might not be able to make them cum… but did you have fun trying?

I’m not so arrogant and;or egotistical to say I’m the best at giving head nor am I foolish enough to guarantee that you will cum… but I will say that that I won’t stop trying until you said you’ve had enough and that I will always give 100% because even if you go away thinking that it was t as good as you hoped, I most certainly had fun doing it.

I’ve been gagged, had teeth loosened, have had my face a braided and scoured by pubic hair and with women who squirt, I’ve come close to drowning a few times; I’ve swallowed spunk that didn’t taste all that hot and I’ve swallowed some that, um, didn’t agree with my digestive system and as evidenced by a lot of time sitting on the toilet after the fact. And despite the hazards that are inherent in going down on someone, my god, it’s still a damned exciting thing for me to do.

Someone asked me if I ever got tired of doing it and I can’t honestly say that I have; to me, this isn’t a chore or some obligatory thing to be done; I love giving head and if all I do is give someone head, I can be very happy and satisfied. Indeed, there are times when I’d rather eat pussy than to fuck it, not that fucking isn’t fun, mind you but at least for me, being between a woman’s legs and going at her with mouth, tongue and, yes, fingers, is such a thrill and one I just don’t get enough of.

I’d do it all day if I could. And, sure, if you wanna give me head, I’m sure as hell not gonna tell you no, thanks – I’m good. I don’t expect anyone to be a certified master – I’m just grateful that they’d want to return the favor, you know, given how funny some people can be about sucking dick.

Where some folks think of giving/getting head in terms of good and bad, I long since learned not to think in those terms because the only bad oral sex is not being able to have it at all, giving or receiving; thus, any time you can give/receive is always good.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Should I Have Said Yes?”

Many, many years ago, I was talking to a guy I knew and asking him how his weekend went.  He said it was okay, mentioned that he’d gone to the club to hang out and meet women – the usual stuff.  He got quiet for moment then blurted out, “Some dude hit on me and asked me if he could suck my dick!  Ain’t that some shit?”

“I suppose,” I said – I really wasn’t surprised by that and if for no other reason than I know how some guys can get when they’ve gotten a few drinks under their belt.  “I’ve had it happen to me – what about it?”

He got a little quieter as he looked around for a moment before asking, “Should I have said yes?”

Hmm.  I stood there for a moment looking at him, thinking about what I knew about him and remembering that the word on the street was that he and the woman he’d been seeing had broken up a few months ago.  He was waiting for me to say something and instead of gleefully telling him that he should have agreed to the blow job and reveled in it, I kinda played it safe and responded with, “I dunno… I’m guess that if you’re asking that question, it’s crossed your mind that maybe you should have.”

“But that’s some gay ass shit!” he said.

“Not all guys who give head are gay, you know,” I said with a smile.  “I notice you didn’t confirm or deny that saying yes crossed your mind.”

If he could have blushed, he would have blushed an interesting shade of red.  “Yeah, when I got back to the crib, I did think that maybe I should have said yes,” he admitted.  “What would you have done?”

“This isn’t about me,” I said – you just gotta love how people will push something back on you to keep from saying anything that could be potentially incriminating.  “But since you asked, if some dude rolled up on me at the club and hit on me like that – and depending on how he did it – I might have said yes… or not.”

“You’d let some dude blow you?” he asked, his shock rather obvious.

“I have,” I said, watching my answer deepen his sense of shock; back then, I wasn’t beyond doing shit like that just to see how someone would react.

“Well, damn,” he said, shaking his head.  Now, at this point, I was expecting him to say that I didn’t look like the type or that he didn’t know I was down like that… but he surprised me by asking, “What was it like?”

“I had no reason to complain – homey was pretty damned good at it,” I replied.

“But how… why…?”  He was baffled.

“The why is easy – I like having my dick sucked,” I said with a shrug.  “Doesn’t really matter who’s doing it.”

He blinked twice before he asked, “Did you, um, did you blow him?”

“No,” I answered truthfully and what I didn’t tell him that I had wanted to return the favor but he wasn’t about having the favor returned.  “But what does any of that have to do with you thinking that you should have said yes?”

“But you ain’t gay, man!” he said.

“Of course I’m not gay,” I said.  “Who says you have to be gay for a dude to give you some head?”

“But… but…” he stuttered.

“Look, man, maybe you should have let him suck your dick, maybe you did the right thing by telling him thanks but no, thanks.  When you get all retrospective about something, it’s easy to say what you would have said or done and more so when, in fact, whatever you’re thinking about never happened.  And, no – it doesn’t make a difference what anyone else would have said or done in that situation but it does make a difference where what you’re thinking is concerned,” I replied – and, yes, that evil part of me was giggling like an idiot seeing him all flustered; hey, I never said I was always a nice guy, okay?

“The question you should be asking yourself is if you ran into him or some other guy asking to suck your dick, how will you answer them?” I offered for his consideration.  “You gotta know that you ain’t the only guy who’s been hit on like that… and while you’re not the only guy who has said no, there are some guys who say yes, get their dick sucked, bust a nut, and go on about their business.”

“Why would they do that?” he asked.  Ah, his confusion was so delicious!

“It’s a blow job, dude,” I said. “Who doesn’t like getting their dick sucked?  The only reason why a guy would consent to being blown by another guy is, um, because he wants and needs to have his dick sucked so he can get off.”

“So if some dude rolled up right now and asked if he could suck your dick, you’d say yes?” he asked.

“I told you this ain’t about me or what I’d do,” I reminded him.  “But, sure – if I felt like a blow job was just what the doctor ordered right about now, I’d let him blow me; wouldn’t be the first time and it probably wouldn’t be the last time.  But the question is still valid:  If some dude rolled up right now and asked you if he could suck your dick, how would you respond?”

“Should I say yes?” he asked.

“That depends on a couple of things, like, do you need to have your dick sucked and do you really care who’s doing it?” I asked.  At this point, I will tell y’all that it was, um, kinda obvious that if nothing else, his body thought it was a good idea given that a blind person could have seen that his dick was very hard trapped in his pants. “Look, man, it happens; a whole lot of dudes find a reason to do something that everybody thinks shouldn’t ever happen and like I said, not all of the guys who’d polish your dome for you are gay.”

“I love pussy!” he exclaimed.  “I’m all about the twat!”

“Okay… so why are we having this conversation?” I countered.  “Like I said, you must be thinking that you should have said yes.”

“Why the fuck would I have said some shit like that?” he asked.

I looked around – don’t ask me why – and said, “I know you and home girl broke up a while ago and I’m pretty sure that if you were getting some pussy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and, believe it or not, dudes in this situation would gladly whip his shit out and let some dude suck on it.”

“I ain’t that desperate!” he said and just a bit heatedly.

“As you say… but, again, I’m guessing you thought about it after the fact because if you weren’t trying to answer the question of whether or not you should have said yes, we still wouldn’t be talking about this, would we?” I said.

“I fucking hate you sometimes,” he said and without any real malice behind his statement.  “Yeah, I thought about it when I got home and, um, maybe I should have let him do it.”

“See?  That wasn’t so hard, was it?” I said with a laugh.

“You must think I’m some kind of freak,” he said, looking down at his feet.

“I think you’re one of many guys who manages to understand that getting your dick sucked by another dude might not be as bad as everyone says it’s supposed to be,” I said.  “So you’re thinking and realizing that you should have let him blow you – believe me, it’s not all that unusual!  The thing is what might you do if the situation comes up again?”

“Man, I gotta say that you don’t look like the type who’d be down for some shit like that,” he said, finally uttering the silly statement I had been anticipating earlier.

“What does the type look like?” I asked.  “The type can look like anybody, home skillet… and before you even ask, no – I’m not gonna tell anyone that we had this conversation.”

We went our separate ways a few minutes later.  As I recall, I saw him again two weeks later and when I saw his face light up, I knew he had something to tell me.  After the usual greetings, he looked around and said, “Yo, man, you were right!”

“What was I right about?” I asked.

“I ran into that same dude again at the club and we were rapping and sipping on some drinks… and he asked me if he could suck my dick… and I told him that he could,” he said and whispering like someone other than myself was gonna hear him – there wasn’t a soul within a hundred yards of us.

“And?” I prompted.

“Man… I ain’t never had my dick sucked like that!” he blurted out.

“I’m guessing it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was gonna be, huh?” I said while trying not to laugh at how excited and animated he’d become.

“I know some babes that could take lessons from him,” he said; again, if you could see him blush, it would have been spectacular.  “But check this out – he wasn’t some gay dude!”

“Didn’t I tell you that not all dudes who suck dick are – or have to be – gay?” I asked.

“Dude’s married with five kids, he told me,” he said, shaking his head.

I just shrugged because none of that information surprised me one bit.

“I fucking hate your ass sometimes,” he said, lightly punching me in the chest.

“For what?” I asked.

“For being right, ya smart ass motherfucker,” he said.

“It is what it is, man,” I said, giving him a light punch in the arm.  “I’m thinking that at first, you were scared and nervous but since you’d committed to it, you went with it; he started sucking on you and you realized that, damn, this shit is good!  But I’m also thinking that after you busted a nut, you felt kinda bad… but you also realized that it didn’t kill you and, importantly, it didn’t turn you into a flaming fag.”

His eyes flew open widely.  “How’d you know that?”

“It’s how most guys react the first time they experience this… and, no, don’t even think about asking me if I did – this ain’t about me!  Just trust that I know what I’m talking about, okay?”

“I fucking…,” he began but I cut him off.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you can’t stand my ass,” I said with a laugh.

“Um, ah, I sucked his dick,” he said quietly.

“Okay; can I say that I’m not surprised and you don’t get offended?” I asked.  “Wait, let me tell you why you did and you can tell me whether I’m right or not.  He’s going down on you like a fiend and the next thing you know, you’ve got your hand around his dick and you’re pumping it… and at some point, you wanted to put your mouth on his dick because, really, how bad of a thing could it be and more so since homey was blowing your brains out like his life depended on it?  And you just went for it and, hmm, it didn’t kill you and it wasn’t really all that bad.”

“I’m through with you,” he said.  “You said that shit like you were there watching it!”

“I know how it can and usually does go,” I said.  “Like I said, you ain’t the only guy I know who’s been through this and you ain’t saying anything that I haven’t heard them – and a whole lot of other guys – say.”

“Can I ask you something?” he asked.

“Yes, I suck dick, if that’s what you want to know,” I answered, anticipating his question.

“Damn.”

“I told you I knew what I was talking about, didn’t I?” I asked.

“Damn.”

Again, we parted ways and as we did so, I felt a sense of… satisfaction to know that another man had discovered that throwing it down with another dude wasn’t as horrible as everyone said it was.  I was thinking that, sure, a lot of guys will do this when they’re at their wit’s end – there’s not a woman within a hundred miles who’d consent to having sex with them and while jerking off can take the edge off, it doesn’t hold a candle to being in a moment when you’re doing something sexual with someone else… and even if that someone else happens to be another guy.

It happens.  It has always happened.  It’s happening right now somewhere in the world… and it will keep happening as more and more men – and even women – come to understand that there’s more to this sex thing than we’ve been led to believe and it’s not about being gay or whatever.

It’s about being human.