So, today, the other side of the oral sex coin. I’d found two articles on how to eat pussy, one written by a woman, the other by a man and, well, there wasn’t anything either of them said that I didn’t know but one of the other things I knew – and neither author deigned to mention it – was that eating pussy isn’t as easy as their articles proposed it to be… and beginning with the assumption that she wants to be eaten in the first place. Strap in while I get the time machine warmed up!
I ate my first pussy at ten years old and because my father told me to never do it but, as parents are wont to do, he didn’t tell me why I shouldn’t. I didn’t think it was a coincidence when, oh, maybe a week before, my mom told me to never let a girl put her mouth on my penis and in my head, I was thinking that this boat had long since sailed since boys and girls had been doing it like there was no tomorrow. I would later have the thought that both of them issued this warning because they suspected – or knew – that I was sexually active.
So, dear old dad told me to never do that. I asked him why and I got, “Because I said so!” and I was puzzled and baffled because I actually had no idea what he was talking about. He was drunk – as usual – and I don’t believe he was aware of the fact that I had left the house while he was still rambling about something so I could process this. I’d run into a girl I knew, and it was easy for her to look at me and tell that something was wrong and asked about it. I told her what my father said – and she got, I felt, the same look on her face that I had on mine just moments ago – but she said, “Let’s find out!”
We snuck into her house and into her bedroom and she stripped down so fast that if I hadn’t known she had clothes on, I’d swear she was naked the whole time. She flopped down on her bed and said, “Okay – put your mouth on it!” I got down there and her scent was… mesmerizing and my head was swimming dizzily for some reason. I got closer and kissed her mound and, well, that wasn’t bad at all; she told me to do that again and I didn’t need any encouragement to kiss her there and something encouraged me to kiss more of her – but she had to open her legs.
Of course, I’d seen pussy before but this was the first time having my face right there in it. Her scent was… soapy (probably Dove if I had to guess) but it was also… sharp but not unpleasant. Now with her legs splayed open, I went to kiss more of her and I suddenly got this great urge to throw up; it was like my body was telling me not to do it but I fought through it and kissed it again and stuck my tongue between those lips…
I would recall later that I’d run my tongue across her “little man in the boat” and the results were electric; the more I licked it with my tongue, the more she was moaning and squirming and she grabbed my head and pressed my face against her so hard that I couldn’t breath! I kept licking the guy in the boat; one of the Hot in the Ass girls had shown me how to rub it with my finger but this? This was fucking amazing. I’m not gonna say for sure that she had an orgasm since I didn’t know about them but, again, looking back at that moment, she certainly did. She let go of my head and I could breathe better; my face was… wet with something and even though I no longer had my head down there, I could still smell her.
“Do it again!” she said. I did, she would suck my dick for a few and we fucked for the first time and I didn’t know what to make of it but I knew I liked it. We got together the next day – this time we’re in my room and bed – and, I dunno, I guess my brain made a connection between doing this to her and sucking dick because when I sucked on her man in the boat, she liked that even more! She would tell me to do this again or, yeah, not so hard, slow down, go faster and at one point, I stuck my tongue in the place where my dick would go… and she “lost it.”
The taste was… indescribable. Kinda sweet but kinda tangy, too. Not bad at all. After that first time, I spent a lot of time with my head between her legs and at every turn, I was still trying to figure out why my father told me not to do this because this was way better than sucking dick! I would say that in the first month of this new discovery – and because she went and told some other girls – I ate a lot of pussies and learned a lot of different things and, a couple of times, suffered some mild injuries. The more I ate pussy, the more the girls would teach me about doing it.
One of the fellas found out that I was doing this and he was all like, “Ew – I don’t believe you did that!” and acting all weird and faking like he was gonna throw up… but he also wanted to know what I learned and, well, I couldn’t really tell him because I was still working it all out in my head. Some girls liked it and some didn’t; most were very eager for me to do it and some girls would push my head away – or, as one girl did, punch me in the nose – if I got my face too close. I thought that maybe they were told to never let a boy put his mouth on her like that but, okay – there were a lot of girls who wanted me to and I was seriously eager to. Some girls who wouldn’t fuck would want me to “lick their kitty” for them and, well, okay; it didn’t take a whole lot for me to see that if I licked and kissed a girl’s pussy enough – and she didn’t want to fuck – I would get to fuck her – sometimes.
I remember, maybe two months later, looking at my father and remembering what he had said and thinking, “Sorry, Dad, but you were wrong about that!”
So, decades later, I’m reading these two articles and I’m not necessarily disagreeing with them but, again, it was what they didn’t say. I understood that the writings were about eating her in ways that by the time it was all said and done, you’d have to peel her off the ceiling. Take your time. Don’t hurt anything down there. Follow any and all instructions she might give you and the one that blew my mind was hearing girls yelling for me to stop – and I would – and one girl slapped the snot out of me and asked, “What the hell did you stop for? Get back to eating me!”
Okay. There’s stop… and then there’s stop. Neither of those articles said shit about this but, then again, it was probably with the assumption that people would know the difference and, again, assuming that the woman in question wanted to be eaten in the first place. All the tips and tricks both writings offered up were all well and good and they also neglected to mention something I had learned during my lessons: What works on one girl might not work on the other and it might not work on the same girl the next time.
They didn’t mention how… weird some women can be about it. Girls who had never been eaten before would want to be because, I guessed, they heard from other girls how good it felt as well as what boys would do it and even this was a problem because – and again, I’m guessing – that they were also told to never do this. Which was fine because if nothing else, it made me popular and, importantly, I was learning and, yeah, failing, too. It… hurt to be told that I didn’t do it right and now I had to bargain for a chance to do it again so they could tell me how to do it right for them. Some girls would… just lie there and as I would later hear it said, doing a great impression of a dead body. I would find out a lot of reasons behind this… and none of them good and with some, convincing them that it wouldn’t be bad for me to eat them was almost impossible.
Just like the articles about sucking cock, the articles about eating pussy didn’t say a thing about how it can make you feel as the one doing it. Not a word about how girls/women felt about guys who, if they’d go down there, would give them a couple of licks and go about fucking them. While both articles said that when you followed their guidelines, you would make her happy and endear yourself to them, well, given how “funny” girls/women can be about someone messing with their pussy, I found that it’s hard to make her happy, let alone endear myself to them. Some, I would learn, were scared to death to have their pussy eaten because of the way it made them feel.
I would eat a girl who, before the fact, was “shy” or otherwise unassuming but once I got down there, would turn into a wild animal and then would feel bad because they did. Or the ones who were “wild animals” to begin with but as I ate them, they were… just there. I would reason that having someone doing this to them was just too weird for them or something like that.
This was also around the time when I would hear a lot of girls telling guys that if they weren’t going to eat them, they couldn’t fuck them. Indeed, into the adult years, it was very well known that if you wanted to get and keep a woman, you’d better eat that pussy and eat it like your life depended on it. While both articles suggested that there should be no time limit on how much time you spend eating her, the one written by a guy seemed to be more about not putting in a whole lot of work while the one written by a woman strongly suggested that you don’t stop until she makes you stop… but, this, too, was something I’d learned and as early as the third time I ate the girl who had wanted to find out why my father said what he said.
And then hearing that Black men didn’t eat pussy. Say what? Of course, those articles were… nonspecific where race or ethnicity were concerned. But this confused things in that a lot of guys didn’t do it but the girls, who were Black, were now insisting on it. I would learn that some of the guys who spoke out against eating pussy… were eating pussy. Hmm. I had to learn how to ignore stuff like this because I loved eating pussy. The taste. The feel. The differing scents. Having to learn how to overcome feminine objections because a lot of girls/women were very self-conscious about the way they smelled down there… and even if they didn’t smell like anything.
The articles talked about what to do and how to do it… but didn’t say much about the focus it takes to eat a woman into an orgasm, let alone how long that could take and the fact that you could eat her for a very long time… and no orgasm. What neither article spoke to is how to get her to either relax enough – or get out of her own head – so that you can make her have an orgasm and after reading both of them – and doing some laughing – I felt that if you’re going to write something about eating pussy then, damn it, tell all of it and especially let it be known how funny women can be about being eaten.
Or how you’re going to have a problem with her because some other dude – or dudes – didn’t do it right (or at all) and left a very bad impression on them and now they have it in their head that because they didn’t enjoy it that time, they’re never going to enjoy it. Still, when I’d hit on a girl/woman for sex, one of the first things they wanted to know was do I eat pussy and can I do more than just giving it a few licks… and now I had to convince them that I wasn’t one of those guys. Yes, I eat pussy and I love doing it and, yes, I was taught well in that I’m not going to stop eating it until one of us gives up… and I was being taught to not be the one who gives up.
What the articles didn’t say is how you can do all of the things they wrote about, and you could potentially make her very happy but, eh, you might not be having as much fun doing it; they both said that all of your attention and focus has to be on pleasing her, but I would learn that if I’m not having fun doing it, pleasing her might not happen and, yeah, they will know if you’re not… connected to what you’re trying to do to them.
Sucking dick, as it would turn out, is a lot easier by comparison. Less prone to injuries, too. I’ve gotten bloody noses; I’ve had my teeth loosened; I’ve had my face scoured by hair. Put into what amounts to be a triangle choke and almost passing out; I’ve been scratched like she was a cat and using me as a scratching post and this one girl was, I guess, having such a good time that she was punching and slapping me in the head and face. And I’ve come close to drowning more times than I care to mention.
The first time I ate a woman who squirted, I had no idea that women could even do that and I’m not sure if she knew either but when she did, oh, my God, there was so much of it and the bad part was that the moment she came, I was breathing and, well, you can probably imagine that wasn’t pleasant and made “worse” because she was making sure I wasn’t going to move my head.
The articles didn’t say shit about this one. My initiation to eating pussy got me into the anatomy of a girl’s pussy – and I still had that dictionary of medical stuff that had pictures that labeled all of the parts and, wow, a pussy has a lot of parts! The clitoris, aka, “the little man in the boat” was a “button” a lot of girls liked to have pushed… and not so much and, oh, yeah, the “little man” wasn’t always so little; I ate a girl with big clitoris, and it very much reminded me of sucking a dick and, well, didn’t I already know how to do that?
Women, just like men, can be overstimulated and under stimulated. The articles didn’t exactly mention this, as I recall, but because I sucked dick, it didn’t take much for me to put the two things together and get an idea that if she didn’t have an orgasm, eh, it might not be my fault but it is… because I overstimulated her; her clit would get unbearably sensitive and, yes, the articles talked about how sensitive it can be… and that was about the size of it.
I would wonder if the people who wrote those articles had actually eaten pussy – and a lot of them – before writing their how-to articles. I had some very good teachers and every last one of them female. Sure, the fellas would talk about how they did it and I would see a… disconnect because a lot of what they would say didn’t match with what I was learning from women. I would learn and understand that eating a woman’s pussy is… foreplay, mostly, and both articles made this rather clear but failed to mention that for some women, it most certainly isn’t foreplay or a prelude to being fucked and, um, shit – how many times have I eaten a woman and didn’t get to fuck her?
A lot of times. But while some guys might have had issues about that, I took it in stride because I got to eat her and continue to work on mastering the art of cunnilingus and, well, again: Sucking dick is easier. The articles didn’t speak to something I was made aware of: It’s not so much a thing of making love to her body orally as it is making love to her emotions and, by the way – good luck being able to do that and their idea of being consistent at it. The articles were… generalized and to the point where I felt that they weren’t all that helpful; I tried to imagine that I’m a guy – and an adult – who had never eaten a pussy before but now I’ve met a woman and she’s either made it clear or implied that, well, you’d better eat this pussy and I stumbled across either of the articles…
And finding out that telling someone how to do it isn’t the same as being able to, from putting your mouth down there in the first place and that those rather specific tips and tricks may or may not work or she’s going to command you to do something that the articles didn’t mention, oh, like, the one girl I was eating and she yelled out, “Stick your finger in my ass!”
Say what? Of course, I did what she commanded me to do and, whew; I had to stop eating her so I could keep her on the bed. I would, years later, be told by some women that if she’s not trying to get away from you or is looking at you like you tried to kill her, you didn’t do it right. And I was loathe to be told that I didn’t do it right. Yeah, sometimes, I didn’t, and I fucking hated that I didn’t but that just made me even more determined to do it right even though “right” was arbitrary. The right way to eat a woman’s pussy is the way she wants you to eat her… and you are expected to know how to eat her and, nope, don’t even ask her how she prefers to be eaten because if she has a preferred way, well, that’s for her to know and for you to find out.
The articles kinda implied that going down on a woman and doing all those things to her is all nice and loving and even sedate in a way… but the reality is that eating pussy can be… violent. Very energetic or not so much. The articles failed to mention that you can do all of those things they wrote about exactly and precisely… and not make her happy at all. Nothing hurts more than having a woman tell you to stop… because you’re just wasting her time and not making “the big O” happen for her fast enough or at all. Again, it made me wonder if the authors had any real experience eating pussy. Again, a lot of what they said was stuff I didn’t disagree with and as far as making it all about her but I go back to the fact that neither article said a damned thing about how it should feel for you to do it.
Because if you’re not having fun eating her, she might not have fun being eaten. Women just know if you’re not into it or you’re just doing it by rote and on autopilot and, um, if you’re gonna write something about how to do it, shouldn’t it include what you have to do in order to get your head into that place where you can be connected to her mind and body… and having one hell of a time doing it? I think so but, then again and like I said, I had some very good teachers.
When I was 17 and a few days before I was leaving for USAF basic training, my boys set me up to get laid (and like I wasn’t already getting laid, mind you) and actually blindfolded me and literally shoved me into bed with a woman. We got into it and, oh, my, it was the best sex I’d had with a woman! Then she removed my blindfold and, what the fuck? She was as old as maybe my grandmothers were! She said, “Young buck, you know how to eat a pussy… but I’m gonna show you how to be better at it!”
That took a couple of days. I didn’t think it was possible for me to not want to eat a pussy but she had me eating her so much that, yep, I didn’t want to but she kept hammering into me that it was very important that I learn how to eat a pussy because I had to know how hard it was to get a woman to orgasm but if I could be seriously into it – and have fun doing it no matter what – then I could say that I eat pussy. I thought I knew how to… and she showed me that I didn’t so much.
Humbling like you wouldn’t believe and my ego got… murdered in hot blood. I got schooled but the very hard lessons she taught me stuck with me. Those articles made it sound easy to eat a pussy and getting her to not only have one orgasm but a lot of them but, hmm, didn’t say shit about those women who you could eat for hours on end, and they would enjoy it… and not orgasm. Or how to deal with the frustration of finishing eating her and she says, “I almost had an orgasm…” or that they were close… or not even close.
Or that, as the one doing the eating, how you have to… feel your way through it and being able to focus all your effort on her while enjoying what you’re doing. I knew many guys that said eating pussy was too much like a chore for them and I could understand that… but what I didn’t understand was why there weren’t seriously eager to eat her to begin with and more so when this one thing meant more to a woman than having a big dick or being able to fuck for a long time did.
It was true that if you wanted to get and keep a woman, you’d better eat that pussy like your life really does depend on it… or someone else will be doing it. I’ve gotten to eat a lot of women… because they had men or ran into men who wouldn’t eat them… and I still think that any man that doesn’t eat pussy, well, brother, learn how to do it if you don’t want someone like me eating her.
The articles, of course, didn’t say shit about how some women are of the “I can take it or leave it” frame of mind about being eaten; or how they can tell you that you don’t have to but now you’re in deep doo-doo because you didn’t, at the least, try to. Or how bringing them to orgasm – or close enough for government work – can actually freak some women out because, I would learn, it makes them lose control of themselves and that was some scary shit for them. Or some other mysterious stuff that they’re not going to talk about. I learned about a woman’s G-spot and how getting it involved was a serious button for them and, well, hmm, I knew where it was… generally just as I learned that some women, when you’re eating and fingering them, would “prefer” that you not hit that spot.
Those articles didn’t say anything about the G-spot but, today, I understand this omission because the revelation of the G-spot came around after those articles were written and it’s not all that different from messing with a guy’s prostate and usually with the same results from “do that again” to “oh, hell no – leave it alone!”
A weary kind of sigh. I would never say that I’ve truly mastered eating pussy, but I do love doing it and i would learn that it’s just as much about me as it is about her and just like being a cocksucker, it’s something you either merely like or you do it (or allow it) out of obligation or it’s an expectation… or you love the shit out of eating pussy. Because, if you don’t, why are you doing it? You betcha – a woman can tell me, “Come over here and eat me…” and I will try not to hurt myself getting over there to do just that… because the articles never said anything about how good it can make you feel when putting in the work to make her so good that she’s gonna try to get the hell away from you.
I don’t brag or tell women that, yeah, baby, I’m gonna eat you so good or other shit that guys tend to say… because I learned, the hard way, that it creates an expectation in a woman’s mind and it’s really gonna suck to be you if you don’t meet or exceed that expectation. If I say anything, I learned to say that I’m going to do the best I can… because that’s all I can do. The one thing a woman can be sure of is that (1) I’m going to have fun doing it and (2) I’m going to keep doing it until one of us quits… and I’m not going to and one reason is that if you quit before she does, um, that’s not going to go well for you and more so when a lot of women, it seems to me, judges you on how long you can go and stay down on her and if you’re one who will only do the least amount of work, well, it’s gonna suck to be you.
As a bisexual male, the only thing better than sucking dick is… eating pussy. I had a legal wife and two poly wives and I loved eating them and would just “throw them down” and eat them because… why not? I knew what it took to get them to have multiple orgasms and my wife was a squirter, to boot. And they let me know that I was very good at it… but not as good as they were when they’d eat each other. Humbling like you wouldn’t believe but now we get into whether or not women are better at it than men are… and we might not be, to be honest, and I wondered about that and seriously so but I would learn how… emotionally connected women can be with each other and, well, yeah – a woman knows what a woman wants and needs and better than men do.
Yeah, those articles didn’t mention this, either. The one written by a woman, well, I couldn’t tell if she was straight or lesbian or if she wasn’t writing about how she likes to be eaten. Some differences where intent and purpose were concerned like how the one written by a man very much implied that this is something to be done before fucking her – but not a word about the sheer joy one can feel to eat her and fucking her is like gravy and if you do it right, eh, you won’t need to fuck her… because you managed to wear her out without your dick having to be involved.
I reasoned that the one written by a woman was more about the pleasure found having it done and what tips and trick can be employed to enhance her pleasure and get her to orgasm… and not a single word about it being just foreplay or that prelude to intercourse because I did get the impression from that article that if you do it right – and there’s no guarantee that you’re going to – eating her soul out of her body is just what the doctor ordered.
I remember the first time I ate a girl so much that she scrambled away from me and was giving me that look and one that, at the time, I had no idea what it meant but she got away from me and I just knew that I’d done something wrong and started apologizing and while trying not to start crying – yep, that’s how much it bothered me. Come to find out that I didn’t do anything wrong or, as she said, “You did it too right!”
Didn’t even know there was such a thing but now I knew. Just like I learned that women… lie about having an orgasm and how so many of them are 100% sure that there’s no way to find out if they did or not… but I found a way because I was very surprised to eat a girl and I could feel her clit pulsing in my mouth… and just like a guy’s dick would do when he came. Wasn’t that interesting? That girl, for some reason, told me that she didn’t cum but that’s not what her body told me in that moment and as she was “giving me grief” for not making her cum. I would learn that a woman having this expectation can, sometimes, not make it happen. Or those women who said that they’ve never had an orgasm… but maybe they didn’t recognize it and even then, that might have been because women know or are “advised” about the Big O and anything less than that means, nope, they didn’t have one.
But that clit pulsing like crazy tended to say otherwise. Neither of those articles said shit about knowing that you gave her an orgasm, big or little. Nothing. Just “these are the things you should do (but not “can do”) to make her feel good and have mind-blowing orgasms but, yeah – how do you know that you did because, yup, women will lie like rugs about it and have mastered faking it and this… makes eating pussy harder than sucking dick is and if you’re bisexual, you get to learn this and I’d say that the sooner you learn this, the better.
I figured out that it’s not all that different from sucking dick and not getting the head of either overly sensitized is important, not just because if feels so… something that gettng peeled off the ceiling might be a thing, but it can also play into them not orgasming or cumming… but that’s why the call eating pussy an art and, well, I’ve strived to be the best artist I can be because it’s way too much fun of a thing to do and, selfishly, I’d guess, I’m going to have fun even if she’s not having the fun she’s expecting but eating pussy has a… focus that sucking dick, eh, doesn’t have all that much. You fail or are lousy at eating pussy, it can cost you another chance to have sex with her or ruin your relationship; if you’re not good at sucking a guy’s dick, well, hmm, you just suck at it.
I thought about those two articles and the fact that there are probably a lot of them out there on the web that professes to tell you how to eat pussy and be good at it and while I wouldn’t say that they’re not informative, I would say that they’re probably not all that accurate given how women are about being eaten and it’s something that I don’t think or believe lends itself to generalization all that well and more so when a woman’s ability to orgasm isn’t always about how you’re eating her. There has to be a reason why some women say that they can’t cum being eaten but can when being fucked and I don’t think it’s all a physical thing… but it is something that might be going on in their head and this, all by itself, can make eating her… difficult and, in their minds, if it doesn’t happen the way they might expect it to, they can convince themselves that they can’t… and you might not ever get her to.
It’s not just tips and tricks; you have to… know something about women and don’t even ask me to explain that because I can’t tell you but as someone who is a pussy-eating fiend, I’ve learned that, again, it’s not a matter of employing the right techniques but being able to… connect with her emotionally and maybe some folks have written about how to do this… and I don’t know why they’d even try to, to be honest.
Eating pussy is da shit to end all shits… except being able to have more than one serving of delicious pussy to eat. It takes… work. It takes patience and focus and, most of all, the desire to put your mouth on her and if you don’t have that, you don’t have a damned thing, in my opinion alone. Sometimes, it’s not totally about making her have an orgasm but the fact that you’re willing to go down on her and stay there for as long as she wants and/or needs you to. A girl/woman would ask, “Are you gonna eat me?” and my answer would be, “You might want to pack a lunch because I’m going to be down there for a very long time…” and I’m not saying it because I think that’s what she wants to hear.
It’s because I love eating pussy. It makes my oral fixation deliriously happy and compels me to eat her good and, hopefully, she gets that look on her face that’ll tell me that, yep, I did it right… this time and I know that if there’s a next time, the results can be different. Eating pussy is a challenge and if you know the tiniest bit about women, that should be obvious… but it’s also a challenge that, if you’re not willing to take up the gauntlet that’s been thrown down, well, hmm.
I ate a woman and, afterward, she said, “You’re dangerous.”
I had no idea what she meant by that but I’d learn that it was a compliment. She said, “You just don’t quit, do you?” and I said, “No… because I’m not supposed to, am I? Besides, I love doing this so, yeah, I’m going to do it for as long as you’re gonna let me.” I’d told her that, yeah, I suck dick and I thought she was gonna freak out but got surprised when she said, “Yeah, that explains a lot… and that’s what makes you dangerous – I think you’re too good at it.”
Never heard that one before but I didn’t think that I was “too good” at it… but I am seriously orally fixated and eating pussy just makes me… happy. Yes, I’ve had women ask me not to eat them because of the first (usually) or last time I did. I didn’t do anything wrong, but maybe I was having too much fun eating them and they found it to be good but… bothersome?
The articles didn’t bother to say anything about this aspect either. I don’t think anyone can write an article about how to eat pussy without getting into the very and seriously devilish details that will either make a woman deemed that you are the shit at doing it… or you need lessons and badly. I know I wouldn’t dare to write such a how-to thing because being general won’t cut the mustard and nothing – nothing – feels so horribly worse than being told that you can’t eat pussy right.
And one of the lessons I learned when I found out that my father was wrong about putting your mouth on a girl’s pussy. That shit is fun but, yeah, there are always consequences and some of them aren’t… nice. I see guys losing their shit about sucking a dick but they’ll go on and on about eating pussy and sometimes I tell them that if they can eat a pussy, they can suck a dick but, hmm, if you knew what really goes on with a woman’s pussy, maybe you might not want to put your mouth on her and, yeah, I know guys who wouldn’t do it even if they had to in order to save their lives… because it does bleed on a regular basis.
Hah… that’s the least of your concerns… and not as bad as how things can be for you if you don’t eat it like you love it and she’ll know if you really do or not and all the tips and tricks ain’t gonna help you one bit.
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