On the heels of “TBT: Who Is Better?” on of the things that I think play heavily into this is why someone is sucking cock to begin with and, doing a bit of generalization, men and women do it for different reasons and reasons that I’ll do my best to explain. I’ll get this right up front and say that y’all don’t have to agree with me but I’m just telling you some things that I’ve observed over all this time.
Sassy Sara commented on my last scribble and mentioned that she’s been going to town on her hubby and expecting, at some point, to have his tool inside her but realizes that he’s close to exploding so she keeps going until he does… and this particular thing is one of the reasons why some women are loath to endure finishing off a blow job; they know that if he’s allowed to cum, she’s not gonna get screwed in that moment or later (and when she might not be in the mood) or not at all.
Good reasons not to finish a blow job, right? Some say this is selfishness, some say it’s a necessity because her needs should always supersede his needs so he shouldn’t ever expect to be finished unless she’s giving him head because that’s all she wants to do.
It’s not totally a case of women not liking to give head but one of a combination of things, like, it’s hard work and the bigger the cock, the harder it is to work; some guys in her past have managed to make sucking cock a rather miserable thing for her to do and when you combine these two particular things, if she’s going down on you, it’s usually because it’s expected of her or, in her mind, merely a prelude to her getting nailed… and let’s not ignore that getting a mouthful of stuff is still very much an acquired taste and one that is always subject to change even with the same guy. It’s the reason why a guy cannot step to a woman (or his woman) and ask her for a complete blow job without getting his head handed to him in some way. Well, he can ask… it’s a sure bet he’s not gonna like her response and/or answer.
It’s also something that some women can be in a hurry to get done with and for the reasons I’ve already mentioned. Let me, at this point, add in another peculiarity that, among men, adds to this situation, namely, how some women demand to be eaten and giving her a few token licks is not what she had in mind; I’ve heard too many men complain that they don’t understand why a woman will be so demanding about being eaten for long periods of time… but if he were to suggest she suck him off, shit tends to hit the fan.
Which is a nice segue into why there are guys who like to suck cock and be sucked by other guys. The thought here is that another guy is – or should be – willing to do that which women, “apparently” aren’t of a mind to do as well as it is assumed that all guys who into sex with other guys suck dick as a matter of course and by default and unless some fucking is on the list of things to do, finishing things is expected and for many men, required.
Let’s not forget that there are a lot of guys who are into sex with other guys who wouldn’t suck a dick even if you put a gun to their head and cocked the trigger nor should we forget that just like women, men do get subjected to bad cock sucking experiences that will impact and effect their willingness to suck a dick going forward and, yes, including that, “I’m not gonna cum in your mouth – I promise!” thing that many women have experienced. Then, not all guys who suck cock acquire the taste and guys to find out, just as women have, that sucking dick and getting the guy off isn’t always as easy as one might think it is so for some guys, sucking a dick and working to get the guy off is more of an effort than they want to expend and, sometimes, time is a factor which is also why a lot of guys are game for a blow job session because when compared to what it takes to get dick into ass safely, blow jobs take less time and can be done almost anywhere.
But just like some women, a lot of guys suck cock because they’re expected to and as a prelude of getting poked by the dick they’re sucking – again, like women, guys expecting to be fucked aren’t gonna be of a mind to finishing off the cock in their mouth because they know that when the other guy cums, it’s game over for an unknown period of time. So to the guy doing the sucking, not finishing the job makes sense to him… but to the guy on the receiving end, well, he just experienced a bad blow job because he wasn’t allow to cum that way.
For both men and women, all of this should sound familiar, right? Cocks get sucked – or pussies get eaten – out of expected obligation and as foreplay for the main event – putting A into B or C. One pointed difference is that there are guys who aren’t into anal sex at all so their one and only thing to do is to suck cock and since this is the only thing they wanna do with another guy, they’re gonna be pretty gung ho to do the job and finish it… provided the other guy cooperates. Guys in this frame of mind are… dedicated to making that dick hard and making it soft and no matter how long it takes to do it but it is to note that when time is a factor, some guys can be quite aggressive when working the dick, the thought here being the quicker nuts can be busted, the faster one can get back to whatever they were doing before taking a cock break.
Um, some guys don’t respond well to aggressive cock sucking which can divert attention from the pleasures of being sucked to worrying about any discomfort he’s feeling, like too much teeth being involved, sucking too hard, and even being gripped too hard or having their balls fondled too roughly for their tastes. Then tack on the expectation factor, like a guy just expects that the guy going down on him knows exactly how to suck his dick and get him off… and unless it’s a guy you’ve been with before, uh, how is a new guy doing it gonna know exactly what it’s gonna take?
You’re beginning to see how this “Who’s better?” thing is starting to play out, aren’t you? Then one of the most definitive and deciding factors – the notion of what’s a good blow job and what isn’t and a lot of guys are of a mind that if they aren’t made to cum – or allowed to cum – the blow job wasn’t all that and no matter whether it was a girl or a guy performing it. It cannot be discounted that some guys do not know how to get their dick sucked and are of a mind that face fucking, for instance, is the same as getting a blow job and I tend to disagree with that and, yep, I lay the blame for this directly on porn which has gotten a lot of men thinking and believing that someone sucking their dick really wants to get gagged, have rivers of snot and tears flowing and just having their mouth and throat ravaged.
And while some do think this is their idea of cock sucking fun, that ain’t everyone who sucks cock and, indeed, there are some cock suckers who are of a mind that if something like this isn’t happening, the receiver must not be enjoying what’s being done and guys who do it as a matter of course probably believe that they’re not doing it right if they’re not trying to ram as much cock as they can into someone’s mouth.
If a cock sucker doesn’t like that, well, sure – the receiver is going to almost always label the blow job as bad because it didn’t meet their expectations. A lot of guys point to technique as being a factor in determining or deciding between good and bad; as I’ve said a lot of times, technique is important… but just because Person A can deep throat the shit out of you but Person B is unable to, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the blow job is a bad one but, yeah, once again, expectations tend to play a very major role in this good/bad and who’s better thing.
But if you suck cock, why are you doing it? Maybe you don’t think this has something to do with things… and if so, I’d say you’re probably very much mistaken and it is something that most people don’t think of… or really give a shit about. The reason why someone sucks cock is tied to and/or related to both their ability to do it… and their desire to do it or, as mentioned many times, the difference between an obligatory action, liking it, and loving it and these three things impact cocks suckers and no matter if they’re male or female, that and if a receiver makes the cock sucking experience a nightmare for even the most eager cock sucker, that good, bad, and who’s better thing becomes more of an issue.
I’ve asked guys who suck cock what I think is a simple question: When you’re sucking dick, who are you doing it for? Are you sucking that dick because it makes you feel head-swimmingly wonderful… or are you sucking that dick to make its owner happy? Would it surprise you that a lot of the guys who’ve answered these questions will say that they’re doing it to make the other guy happy? I’m not saying this is unimportant… but it’s my thought that if you’re not sucking dicks because it makes you happy, could that also play into the good, bad, and who’s better thing as well?
And, before you ask, I’ve been asked the same question(s) and my answer could be seen as a selfish one in that when I’m sucking cock (or even eating pussy) I’m doing it because it makes me feel very damned good to be doing it and, in turn, it makes the recipient a happy critter – unless they tell me otherwise, of course.
I think one of the things that also plays into this is the thought that cock sucking is a submissive act… but not every cock sucker looks at it as a submissive thing to do and, perhaps, depending on what the word “submissive” means to an individual. Many cock sucking guys do say that the reason why they suck cock is because it makes them feel submissive and they like feeling that way. I’m not saying this is a good or bad thing but it does factor in to that whole good, bad, or who’s better thing.
It’s really all about why and not so much how that I feel is key to this whole cock sucking thing. It’s about incompatible expectations and you can read this as the cock sucker having one expectation and the recipient having a totally different one. Sassy Sara mentioned a factoid that said only something like 13% of men actually cum from a blow job… and even she thinks this isn’t quite right (and neither do I) and there are a lot of reasons that support this… and also plays into good, bad, who’s better from the fact that some cock suckers who are expecting to be fucked will not allow or tolerate the recipient busting a nut to including the fact that some guys actually “cheat” when they’re expecting to be sucked by jerking off before the fact and that’s something that, in most men, will make getting him to cum again take a very long time to achieve… and if it happens at all.
If a cock sucker gets it into their head that the other person isn’t enjoying what’s being done, it will affect things… and even if the giver is really mistaken about that. Technique, such as it is, will not only vary from one person to the next (and even with the same person) but whatever happens to be going through a giver’s mind in that moment can affect the outcome – and the pun is really intended this time… and if the giver has other expectations or has it in their mind that what they’re doing is way too much work, that, too, will play into any determination where good, bad, and who’s better is concerned.
One other thing that I think plays into this among men are those guys who want their dick sucked – or don’t want it sucked – because they know they’re gonna be enticed to lose their load before they want to and it’ll take them out of the game and put an end to anything else that might have been on the table… unless there’s sufficient time to allow recovery and a continuance of things… and sometimes, there’s no time for that. As odd as it may seem, a guy who is enticed to cum before he wants to will view this as a bad blow job… because his expectations weren’t met and they didn’t take into consideration why the other guy is sucking his dick in the first place.
Is any of this overthinking things? I don’t think so and considering how many guys want to not only have their dick sucked but be made to give up the jizz. Again, between men, if the agreement is to exchange blow jobs, there are some hard-set expectations or, really, just one: If you suck my dick, you’d better make me cum and if you don’t, you will be tagged as being bad at it and the “balance” between who’s better will tip one way or the other.
Maybe it’s just me but I think that guys should be, at the very least, grateful that someone is willing to suck their dick in the first place and instead of having an expectation of being made to cum, perhaps their focus should be more on how he’s being made to feel while being sucked. If they can, um, it might help to know if the person sucking their dick even wants them to cum – and sometimes they don’t and it’s not necessarily because busting a nut is a game-ending event or they haven’t acquire the taste for spunk but because sucking on a hard dick is very pleasing and as long as it’s hard – and its owner hasn’t unloaded, the longer the pleasure can last for the giver.
So in many ways, it’s all about why it’s being done and more than a means to an expected end. I can remember many a conversation with women about why I suck dick and I’ve responded initially by asking them, “Why do you do it?” They’ve answered, “Because I like doing it” or a similar statement and I’ve replied, “Well, there’s your answer to why I do it… and do you really believe that women are the only ones who not only suck cock but do it because they like/love doing it?”
And I guess that never occurs to some women, huh? The thing is that guys who suck cock have something in common with women who suck cock and we do, in fact, do it for nearly identical reasons: Out of obligation or expectations, because we like it, or because we absolutely love doing it and if some seed gets split, so much the better but if not, it was still a fun thing to do even if the recipient feels that not cumming didn’t make it fun for them. In the case of good, bad, and who’s better, it’s about perspective more than anything else – what the giver’s purpose for sucking the dick is and what the receiver’s expectations are about the outcome of having their dick sucked.
There are reasons… valid reasons why some women aren’t the fans of it that some think they should be and any guy who sucks cock should know – or will eventually learn – why women behave they do about sucking dick, just like they should learn something about this thing we have in common with women and, yes, including how much some of us just love eating pussy and just like how many women love doing that as well.
And, once again, it all begins with why and, sadly, how this is usually ignored or not paid a lot of attention to; there’s the whole expectation thing that very much plays into the good, bad, and who’s better issue and if a giver somehow doesn’t meet a receiver’s expectations, a bad mark is gonna be issues for the man or woman performing the act.
Okay, I need to get to work on smothering some pork chops so I’ll leave y’all to think about this and if you have your own thoughts, well, speak up because one of the other determining factors in this whole frigging discussion is the fact that this is something we just do not ever wanna talk about and regardless to sexuality.