In case you’ve forgotten, I am a prolific reader and one of the ebooks I’ve just started reading is called – wait for it – “Pussy Whisperers,” by Dean Jean-Pierre. When I saw the title, I kinda rolled my eyes and thought, “Okay, another ‘how to eat pussy’ book…” but the title so intrigued me that I hooked it up. Just going through the rather long preface had me wondering if I’d made a mistake but, well, fuck it – I have the book so I might as well go ahead and see what the brother’s whispering about.
It seems to be different “stories” about women and, basically, how men are doing a number on them like no one has ever done it before. It’s rather explicit… but, well, it’s a book that a man might write and more so if he’s writing about women as primary characters or subjects. To me, this is pretty funny…
Anyway, I was reading the first vignette where the girl is saying that she’s dick-whipped; my mind automatically said that if a guy can be pussy-whipped, well, why not the opposite? The girl is rather amazed that she’s addicted to this one guy’s dick and, at the risk of getting into trouble, I need to show you what was written about this:
“You Know You Are Addickted When:
1. The sound of his voice sends your already turned on body into shivers and just sucking his dick can give you an orgasm. You have never relished sucking a dick as much as you do now because every suck of his throbbing head can make you come without him even penetrating you.
2. You wake up screaming his name in a pool of your own cum and you masturbate multiple times while enjoying a picture of his dick on your computer or cell phone while sitting at your desk at work. You also made sure to send his dick pictures to your multiple e-mail accounts—just in case they somehow were accidentally deleted from one account—you will have extra copies.
3. You find yourself doing and saying things that at first make you cringe that you have become this person who allows her desires to overwhelm her senses. The words that come from your mouth shocks you but you can no longer help yourself because your body and mind are constantly on fire for his touch, his kisses…his dick that you want to mold so it can always be with you.
4. You know in your heart that you are heading down a one-way street and you can’t turn back but you are powerless to resist what you are feeling. Addictions by their very nature usually don’t end well but you don’t care—just this one time, you will throw caution to the wind as the sensual pleasure that has invaded your life makes you do so.
5. You neglect your friends just on the off chance that he might drop by or call you. You want to be ready just in case he decides to come by for a few minutes.”
At first, I was laughing my ass off… until I thought, “Hey, that sounds familiar.” I thought about the times when I’ve actually had this told to me (no, I’m not bragging and they could have been pulling my leg, too) and, well, I stopped laughing pretty quick. I get further into the story and while it’s no longer funny, it does have me rolling my eyes at how the man in the story broke this girl’s back and a few other things, too, like making her deep-throat his 11″ dick (oh, come the fuck on) “against her will” and licking her juices from his XX Magnum condom.
Still, as you read this one – or, as I read it – I was shaking my head over a lot of things about this story. Not that the basic “premise” can’t be true but just over the way the author wrote it. It didn’t offend me… but I wasn’t getting my head around it either because, as I said in the beginning, this is a man writing a book about what women think about sex and all that… and it’s still funny – it’s hard to explain why.
So, at the end of this story, they get walked-in on by the cleaning crew and the characters’ reaction to this had me rolling my eyes again… but on to the next story.
The next story just took me out to lunch – sex with fruit salad. Okay, I’ve done it a few times in my life and sometimes it’s been fun, sometimes not… and it’s about as messy as anything can get. Anywho, the married couple in this one is doing shit with fruit that not even I would think about doing – that should tell you something. There’s really not a whole lot I can say about this one other than you gotta be fucking kidding me! Food and sex, well, yeah, people do it but, oddly, I didn’t find the author’s rendition of this sex game to be all that interesting.
In the third, we have a what I’d call a monologue about how someone feels about making love… and it’s so sappy that I can’t think of anyone who’d write something like this and not sound like they’re still in the 7th grade.
In the fourth, we have a CEO who ain’t liked too much because rumor has it she fucked the previous CEO to get into the position to become CEO – even though she was more than qualified via experience and education. Anyway, she’s fed up with the bullshit in the office about how she got her job and decides she needs a massage… and some dick. Her “regular” masseuse isn’t there so another dude is assigned to loosen her up and, oh, yeah, he loosened her ass up big time.
I see again the theme of, “I normally don’t even think about doing shit like this!” but they’re doing it anyway – rolling my eyes again even though I know such things happen – and this dude just does a number on her like never before, extra large dick and all – but that’s not the end of it. She goes back to the office, totally and completely well-fucked but bent out of shape because it happened – still wanna know why men think women are insane? – and decides to shower at work.
Ah, but what she doesn’t know is that the girl who’s been spreading the rumor about how our main character got her job has the hots for her, finds out she’s taking a shower and decides to join her… then helps herself to some pussy. Okay, sure… maybe that could happen and maybe it has… but it still “smells” like some man’s idea, if you’re feeling me so far. By the way, the new CEO revealed that while she did go to fuck her predecessor, nothing really happened – he couldn’t get it up for her.
That reminds me… has anyone ever heard of a pussy being referred to as either “pretty wings” or “sweet pork?”
I’m still reading this one and despite my opinions thus far, I think it’s an interesting read. It does, in a way, “bother” me because it depicts women being needy and the men basically just taking what they want from them. There’s a great deal of sex and lust in this book so far… but it’s lacking something I can’t quite put my finger on right now. It’s modern-day porn – whether it’s at its best or not remains to be seen; I’ll have to finish “Pussy Whisperers” and remember to come back and tell you about the rest of this book…
For those with a Kindle or the Kindle app on their phones, you can find this book for $0.99 on Amazon (free if you’re an Amazon Prime member). If you don’t have a Kindle but have an app that reads the ePUB format, gimme a holla and I’ll hook you up with a copy (in defiance of SOPA/PIPA).