Unified

Damn you, Trips On Rocks – I still have this topic swirling around in my head, seeking out those moments in my life that gay sex and straight sex came together, literally and figuratively!

Okay, so when it comes to group sex – three or more warm, willing bodies involved – the most ideal situation is for everyone that’s gonna be joining in is bisexual and it’s one fantastic free-for-all where everyone is fair game.  I thought about the two or three orgies I participated in where I sometimes found myself dealing with a man and a woman at the same time although in those remembered moments, I couldn’t say whether or not the involvement with the guy was intentional – he was bi but probably hiding – or whether or not it was one of those ‘heat of the moment’ things.

In that setting, damn, there was so much sex taking place, so many people involved with each other almost at the same time!  I look at the orgies in particular and think about how many times during each one that I was doing something with a woman… and had a guy in my ass or in my mouth and, surprisingly (not really), he wasn’t actually invited – he just strolled up and helped himself to me, not that I protested a whole lot; the mindset at the time was kinda ‘informal’, for lack of a better word:  If you were there and something could be done, it got done and if some apologies were called for later, well, they happened later.

I thought about the times when I’d been in a MFM or even a foursome and have gotten surprised by having a guy start indulging himself with me; I searched my memory as hard as I could trying to think of such moments where I knew the guy was bi before the fact and, honestly, I can only think of one such moment – the first time my fiancee saw me suck dick – both people in the other couple were bisexual.  Absent prior knowledge, it’s pretty shocking to have a woman riding me cowboy-style and there’s a guy licking her clit at the same time… but he’s licking my dick, too, and not because he couldn’t avoid it.

Or to be lying on my belly, eating away at a nice, hot pussy… then feel someone either eating my ass out or feel that familiar feeling of a hard dick poking at my back door… and you didn’t expect it but, being bisexual, it wasn’t a cause for alarm.  I’ve been in foursomes and have been busy eating pussy or maybe taking a small break from the heated action and have had guys just roll over and start sucking my dick – memories of my very first foursome come to mind – and, again, it was totally unexpected… but not unwelcomed.

In any of those situations, I figured that if homeboy took it upon himself to get a piece of me, that made him fair game and, at the least, he was going to get his dick sucked or have my hand working his prick over.  I do recall a threesome where I was eating the guy’s wife out and he whispered in my ear, “Can I suck your dick?  I’ve always wanted to try it…”  I’ve been in four- or moresomes and have had a guy just grab my head and shove his dick into my mouth as a woman was sitting on his face and while I wouldn’t resist, I’ve always wondered whether he knew I was bi and wouldn’t object to blowing him or he needed to have his dick sucked while having some pussy and I just had the misfortune to be within his reach.

But, in any of that, we’re talking about exceptions and even spur-of-the-moment behavior (at best).  I’ve gotten into group sex settings with other men and have had them state that there wasn’t going to be anything happening between me and him… and it actually went that way because prior experiences taught me that a guy could put that condition out on the table… but once things got hot and heavy, they often changed the rules.

As I got more into swinging with my [then] wife, I don’t recall us ever getting with a couple and specifying that one or both of them be bisexual; we were just happy to be fucking other people and in whatever way that eventually took shape.  In the here and now, trying to find a couple who are truly bisexual – and they’re not faking at being bi just to have sex – is one of the hardest things to do.

Unity… I can’t really and honestly say that in this setting, it’s expected or it’s a given because my experiences with, ah, mixed company never had this aspect included before the fact – it just happened and, at least, I wasn’t complaining about being ‘victimized’ by some horny-assed dude while trying to eat or fuck a woman.  Ha, I suppose that if it is something you specifically want or expect, it’s not gonna happen… but if you’re into it and it’s not even on your mind, it could happen.

Of course, the only time the guy-on-guy stuff was a given was the times the participants were all male – but that’s different.

Being in a mixed company free-for-all – and knowing it was going to be like that from the very beginning – seems to be a rarity (at least in my own experiences).  If anything, these experiences taught me that shit does happen and in the heat of the moment, too – and not just between guys.  The earlier experiences with this also taught me something about sex that I’ve heard a lot of people deny:  Your body doesn’t give a damn who’s giving it pleasure – but your mind does – and in those experiences, it was mind over matter:  If they didn’t mind, it didn’t matter.  Can we call it unexpected unity?  I dunno because, honestly, while I know there’s sex with a woman and sex with a man – which is obviously different – I’ve always just thought about it as being sex with any… extra stuff happening as gravy on the potatoes..

I dunno… do people think that if you’re bisexual, you always get into these free-for-all situations?  If you have bisexuals in a relationship, is the expectation now one of, okay, baby I am/you are bi so let’s see where we can take this?  Sure, I’d say that having one or more bisexuals in a relationship can open the doors for more sex to take place… but should it be a given that any sex that jumps off has to be in an unified mode?  I know couples who have one or more bisexuals and for the ones that have opened that door, it’s every man/woman for themselves – the thought of group sex (in that sense) may have come up but it’s probably rejected because it’s one thing to know that, say, your woman loves pussy as much as she loves dick… but watching her having sex with another woman might not go over well even though this is perceived as every man’s dream situation.

He might want to watch her… but she may be more inclined to do her thing without him being nowhere around when it happens; hey, we might have something in common, boo, but I still like my privacy when I’m getting busy.  Likewise, if he’s gonna be doing whatever he does with another guy, his bisexual partner might not be all that interested in watching or participating and incorrectly assumes that if she’s bisexual right along with him, she’s going to find man-on-man action sexually exciting… and that’s probably not the case.  Again, women deal with this differently; she knows he’s doing it and that’s all she wants to know.

I’ve experienced this… unity and there’s something nice about it, being able to indulge in all of your sexual pleasures right alongside your partner and knowing that he/she is experiencing that extra jolt of this special pleasure.  And, something that I think is important, that if your partner has joined you in this, it’s no longer just about you and your desires in this:  It becomes an “us” thing, something that the two of you can share and beyond the sex that can be had; it deepens the commonality that you already have with each other.

What do you think, Pyx?

 

Once More Into the Fray…

Hanging out on the right side of my Dashboard is, of course, that little area that says, “Top Searches” and today’s top search of interest is “bisexual sex.”  This is almost a no-brainer; bisexual sex isn’t about having sex with men (or women if you’re a girl) – it’s about having sex with both sexes and to whatever degree suits one’s purposes.

I think one of the things that fuck people up about this is an insistence that there has to be a preference, you know, you like having sex with women more than you do with men and, indeed, a lot of bisexuals tend to behave like this, like having sex with someone who’s the same sex as they are is seen as something different or something they’ve added on to their primary preference for having sex.

We – society – tend to treat bisexuality as that either/or thing that personally drives me ape shit; bisexual sex is about both so the answer to the somewhat irritating question of whether or not you’d rather have sex with a man or a woman is… yes.  Bisexual sex is about erasing that line that someone keeps drawing because bisexuals are ‘forced’ into making a choice between sex with a man and sex with a woman, like you should really do one or the other… but not both.

It’s not about when you do it like this nor is it about whatever it is you do when you do it like this – it’s simply the fact that you can do it like this.  What is so hard to understand about this?  There’s nothing mysterious about having the ability and desire to have sex from both sides of the gate.  Okay, yeah, there is that whole “bisexuals really exist!” thing from a while back – I still think that’s just too damned funny but, back to being serious, it’s not a big deal if you do have this ability to pull off the balancing act of sex.

Not just with women.  Not just with men.  It is with both and in whatever way works the best for you.  It doesn’t matter if your head is in that “I like pussy and dick but I like pussy/dick more” space.  What does matter is the first part of this preferential statement – liking pussy and dick… not pussy or dick.  See, using the word ‘or’ forces bisexuals to make a choice within the choice they’ve already made for themselves in this; this, I believe, is society’s attempt to make bisexuals stay in one room or the other:  You’re either straight or gay and, well, guys and gals, you just fucking confuse us when you knock down the wall and play in the bigger room!  Why won’t you just stay in one room or the other?

Because for those of us who are bisexual, staying in one room or the other just doesn’t fulfill our needs – why [again] is this so hard to understand?  Pussy alone doesn’t satisfy us just like a steady diet of dick won’t.  Ah, but if we can have both, well, we’re a happy bunch of recently discovered critters!  I know, just like many more people like me, that being dick deep inside a woman is so fucking wonderful… but so is having a man’s cock in your mouth or ass if you like it like that and making him cum and feeling his cock pulsing strongly as it pumps sperm into the condom he’s wearing or, if you’re brave, directly into your ass.

Does it really get any better than this, to want, have, and enjoy the best of both worlds?  I don’t think it does and I suspect other bisexuals feel the same way.  This, my friends, is the essence of bisexual sex as this blogger – and dyed-in-the-wool bisexual – sees this subject.

Next up, a lot of words about the objectification of women…

 

The First “Real” MFM

Now I’m all hot and sweaty from exercising and that’s after a refreshing shower.  Again, my thoughts are all over the place and latched onto what I’d have to call my first “real” MFM threesome.  It’s not that I discounted anything done when I was younger – with the crowd I hung out with, finding yourself with another guy and a girl and some sex happening didn’t happen all the time – but it happened.  I have tried to figure out why my mind put up a partition to separate my, ah, younger activities from my older ones and more so when I know the only difference was age and experience, stuff like that.

Anyway, I’m hanging out with an acquaintance and his wife and they were some really cool people as far as I was concerned.  We’re sitting around their place, talking about this or that when they dropped a bomb onto me:  “How would you like to have sex with us?”

They were both a good-looking couple and, yeah, I thought his wife was plenty hot.  Their question stunned me; my shocked brain was trying to figure this one out even as it reminded me that I had known them for a number of years and while I considered us close, it never dawned on me that they thought we were even closer than I could imagine.

While I fumbled around for an answer to their question, they just sat and waited on me to say something; I could tell by their demeanor that this was something serious, that they were into playing just as me and the [then] wife was… but this would be the first time she wasn’t a part of the deal.  I can’t honestly say what else I was thinking but I got over my shock and surprise long enough to say what had to be the lamest thing I’ve ever said:  “Well, okay, if you want to…”

Duh… of course they wanted to – why else would they have asked?

Without further ado, they led me to their bedroom, which now took on a different meaning than any other time I’d been in there – it was as if I’d never been there before.  We started getting undressed and I could not only sense their excitement but my own growing excitement – I had stopped thinking and just let my feelings take charge.  They got onto the bed and invited me to lie between them, which I did; she leaned across me to kiss her hubby, her ample breasts swinging across as well – the breast closest to me actually hit me in the face and I automatically reached to cup them, feeling that her nipples were quite hard.

She then kissed me, tentatively at first and then with meaning; her lips were sweet and soft but her tongue was quite aggressive as her husband reached over me to fondle her breasts right along with me.  Then it got interesting; she reached down to fondle my boner… and he did, too!  What?  I didn’t know that he…

The thought drifted off somewhere as he put his head on my chest and started playing with my left nipple; his wife took the right one and I thought, “Oh, my god… I’m being seduced!”  She was pumping my cock slowly while he fondled my balls and even probed my back door lightly with a finger and, well, I was pretty much completely under their spell at this point.

“Slide down some more,” his wife whispered to me.  I slid down until she told me to stop – then she sat on my face, giving me that first look and taste of her pussy.  I moaned and she did as she slowly fucked herself against my mouth and tongue; when it came to eating pussy, I was always in heaven and I was doing my level best to show her my appreciation, quickly losing myself in her wet heat.

I didn’t stay lost, though; while I was eating her out, her husband was on the move as well and the yelp that came out of my mouth was muffled by her muff when I realized he was now sucking my dick.  I looked up and could see that she had turned her head to watch her man blow me; it was quite a rush to hear her egging him on, telling him to suck me like his life depended on it and all the while humping and grinding against my face until she came.

Then they switched places; she went down on me as if she was starving while her hubby offered me his cock to suck; I really had to concentrate on not getting distracted – I was getting the living daylights sucked out of me on one end and having my mouth swabbed out by a nice-sized cock on the other.  I could feel the pressure building inside me; if this kept up much longer, I was going to lose it.

Maybe they both could sense that or maybe by some unspoken consent, they felt it was time to move on to the next thing.  She stopped sucking me and straddled me, sinking down on my dick like she owned it; I was able to give his cock a few more licks and suck before he took it away and moved behind his wife.

“Both of you… hold still a moment,” I heard him say; the next thing I knew, I could feel his cock alongside mine as he stuffed his cock into her cunt – and with me deeply in her already!  That sensation alone almost made me cum and (at that time) this was some unheard of shit!  We moved slowly, both of us impaling her cunt and it was both quite awkward and very stimulating and enough for me to utter stupidly, “I can feel him against me!”

The both laughed and, really, I couldn’t blame them – it really was a dumb thing to say.  Her husband pulled out and I knew that he was fucking her in the ass because now I could feel his cock on the other side of that thin membrane.  I felt as if I had shamed myself because I just lost it; I was gasping like a fish out of water, she was telling me to give it all to her and then I could feel her husband releasing his load into her backside.

I was, for lack of a better word, trashed.  They took up positions on either side of me again and they both put their heads on my chest as best they could as the three of us cuddled together and basked in the afterglow to end all afterglows.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven, that things couldn’t get any better than what I’d just experienced.

And I was wrong.  It didn’t take them long to get started on me again, both of them taking turns sucking me into hardness again while I alternated between sucking him and eating her.  When all the oral pleasure stopped this time, I was just flat-out dumbfounded as his wife turned to sit on my face so she could face him… while he took a seat on my cock.  They had me right where they wanted me, using me for their pleasure while heaping untold pleasures onto me.  My world only consisted of her pussy on my mouth and my cock in his ass; I could dimly hear her talking to him, cursing at him, and other things my overwhelmed mind couldn’t grasp.  As an aside, while I don’t have like a really huge donkey dick or anything like that, I’m not exactly small either – I was impressed that he sat down on my dick and didn’t use any lube.

Later, I’d find myself wondering if his ass felt better than his wife’s cunt – the jury decided to stay out on this one.  Anyway…

My face was lathered with her juices and I could feel the places where her movements on my face were beginning to chafe me; south of my navel, her hubby rode me and I could tell by just motion alone that she was jerking him off.  That whole ‘second wind’ thing went right out the window for me – I was scary close to sensory overload as my release built up and it had that weird feeling of being painful while feeling good at the same time.

I don’t know if they heard me curse when I gave in to my release – it’s hard to talk with a mouthful of pussy.  I think I heard him saying something about he could feel me cumming – hard to hear things with a woman’s thighs clasped around your head.  What I did know was that I close to hyperventilation and passing out as I struggled to breathe while my orgasm was kicking the shit out of me; I remember literally shoving her off of my face so I could get some air and, yes, I did apologize for that later.

It took a while before I could finally get my arms and legs to move enough so I could join them in the bathroom to clean up.  After we got dressed, I graciously declined their offer to go out to dinner; I mean, this was during that time when there was no one home but me so it wasn’t like I had to rush home or anything like that – but I did need the time alone so I could assimilate what had just happened to me.

They were happy; they had told me that for the longest time, they wanted to fuck me but wasn’t sure how to approach me about it or how I’d react.  He knew that I was bisexual – that came out one day when we were talking about gay guys – and because he accepted that without giving me any shit about it, I totally and completely missed the fact that he never mentioned that he was bisexual, too – but that explains why he knew he could suck my dick and not get punched in the face.

Again, another one of those hallmark moments, an event that made all prior events pale in comparison…

 

Dangling on the Edge

G, in her comments to “How Do You Feel?” said, “I love the idea of being bisexual myself, but I have never truly been able to imagine pulling the trigger, picking up a girl, or letting her pick me up. I’ve flirted… I have kissed another girl, but it didn’t make me wet. I am really barely bi-curious (I would kiss and let her go down on me).”

Her words echo some stuff that I’ve heard many times over the years and it’s always made me wonder why someone would want to engage in a form of sex that, for some reason, isn’t going to get them excited about doing it.  Okay, I know that a lot of bi-curious people really do have their curiosity piqued about doing this version of the forbidden dance, just like I know a lot of them would just love to take the plunge so they can have their curiosity satisfied… but usually wind up dangling on the edge.

G’s comment makes me ask about her lack of excitement; she also makes me ask if she would go down on another woman after (or while) that woman is chowing down on her – and, no, G, you don’t have to answer these questions.

Maybe it’s just me; if some sex is on the menu, I don’t need a whole lot to get me ready to dive in – because I’m getting ready to have sex so how could I not be excited about that prospect?  I’m not into kissing guys but just to think about tasting the rest of him gets things simmering right off the bat.  The only reason why I wouldn’t pull the trigger is if I had a reason not to, like the guy didn’t feel right to me.

Why not pull it?  What is it that makes a person get to the moment of truth and then… nothing?  I’m sure there are a lot of mitigating factors going on here; one woman told me that she very much wanted to eat pussy and find out what it’s like being in another woman’s embrace… but she didn’t take the plunge because she was worried about people thinking she’s a lesbian.  One guy told me that he had his mouth just scant centimeters from some guy’s boner and he just couldn’t do it; that, in itself, didn’t bother him as much as not knowing why he couldn’t do something he’s always wanted to do.

I have a theory about some of this, beginning with the angst around anything remotely emotional with this, like, guys who say they don’t like guys like that, being worried about love or some other deep emotion that has nothing to do with lust.  To be rather blunt, this side of bisexuality just scares the shit out of people; they shudder to think that someone who’s the same sex as they are can actually turn them on in some way and, like G said, I’ve seen quite a few of these people start waffling and say that while they might not be able to eat that pussy or suck that dick, if it was being done to them, well, okay – might be able to arrange that one.

I think that the taboo about this, one we’re all taught to avoid at all costs, can fuck with someone’s head.  Is this why G (since I’m kinda picking on her in a good way) could be necking with another girl all hot and heavy… but it’s not flipping her switch to the “on” position?  And if she believes that such a thing wouldn’t turn her on, why would she do it or, even better, why would she even want to do it?

I mean, how does this happen?  I know what people have told me; I know what I’ve seen with my own two eyes as well.  I can understand how someone can be right on the edge, ready to take the plunge, and then take a step back away from the edge because if this is the first time you are going to be eating pussy or sucking dick, it’s pretty fucking scary, to be honest.  But, prior to this, why wouldn’t someone be excited?

Could it be that a same-sex experience has somehow migrated from an emotional thing to do – lust – to an intellectual exercise?  Logically it makes sense to kiss a girl (or a guy lip-locking another guy) or to have oral sex with them in some way but there’s a disconnect taking place that doesn’t allow them to be revved up and ready to throw down before the fact?

Despite what I’ve learned over the years, I’ve never been able to figure this one out.  Once upon a time, I tried to step into someone’s shoes about this, you know, to try to look at it from their point of view and, sadly, I failed miserably because just thinking about sucking dick wouldn’t stop making my blood start to simmer – I lacked the necessary objectivity.

So today’s questions, for anyone who cares to provide their take on them is, “Why haven’t you been able to pull the trigger and why aren’t you aroused?”

Time to watch “BBQ Pitmasters…”

 

“Adam and Steve”

I have a long-time friend who, whenever the topic of bisexuals and gays came up, would always spout, “If God meant for us to be this way, instead of Adam and Eve, it would be Adam and Steve!”  I’d laugh and shake my head as he’d then launch into a diatribe that I’ve heard him say hundreds of times, so many times that I once kinda pissed him off by reciting his manifesto on this right along with him.

“Am I really that predictable?” he asked.

“When it comes to this, yeah, you are…” I replied.

And the conversation would continue.  I understand homophobia just as I understand that having a phobia to begin with isn’t a good thing.  What I found interesting about my friend’s riffing against this was while he’d rale again guys doing guys, when it came to girls doing girls, um, he was okay with that, somehow managing to convince himself that this wasn’t homosexual sex – but if guys did it, yep, worst possible scenario as far as he was concerned.

So he wasn’t exactly homophobic; biased and perhaps bigoted in his opinions is what I’d tell him when he got to the part of his ‘sermon’ where he’d ask me if I thought he was homophobic; that he would often have a boner while discussing the ills of men sucking cock and having anal sex was of equal interest, giving me the thought that one could be both thoroughly disgusted and highly excited about a form of sex they didn’t approve of.

Go figure.

I’ve always found it amazing that there are people in the world who refuse to believe the evidence they can easily see.  Homosexuals and bisexuals aren’t supposed to exist… which obviously doesn’t change the fact that they do and we know that they’ve pretty much always existed, albeit under cover and as out of sight as possible.  Folks get rather biblical about it and even to the point where they can get quite violent and, still, despite it all, this form of expressing love and sex continues to thrive and so much over the last few years that the definition of marriage has come into question.

Prior to the states enacting laws in favor of same-sex marriages, you could go to your state’s website and read the law about marriage, how to get married and, importantly, who could marry whom.  I found it interesting that, in my home state, I could, say, marry my second or third cousin… but if I wanted to marry my boyfriend, it wasn’t gonna happen here or anywhere else in this country – we’d have to take one hell of a road trip to do it and even then, when we returned home, our marriage would not be legally recognized because of the worldwide believe that marriage can only happen between a man and a woman.

So the law is what it is even though it’s changing in places – fine.  I read this blog earlier, which contains a link to the actually subject matter – http://havenofthought.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/an-excellent-blog-post-about-marriage-equality/ – and I thought it was a good argument against the argument that’s against same-sex marriage (I think I wrote that correctly)… but what it got me thinking about – and probably not for the first time – is why marriage exists to begin with.

The thought off the top of my head – and because I don’t feel like doing all that digging to find the ‘real’ reason – is that it lends itself to the perpetuation of our species, a commitment between man and woman and with the express purpose of ‘guaranteeing’ that God’s edict of “Go ye forth and be fruitful and multiply” would be upheld.  Which is all well and good – I gots no problem with that because for millennia, it worked the way it was designed to work and including the appropriate stigma toward any couple who couldn’t produce children.

But, no one way back then ever envisioned that a day would come where two men or two women would love each other enough to want to be joined in marriage. There was plenty of angst against homosexuals and this was despite that there were cultures who embraced this fully and with great gusto, something I found to be quite hypocritical – it’s a sin against God but in certain situations, sure, go ahead and do that guy – it’s all good.  Back in those early days of human history, folks of the same sex getting married, that covenant between a man and a woman, wasn’t threatened.

Until here lately, of course.  We know that some homosexuals were going to gay-friendly countries and getting married, again, with no rights, acknowledgement, or status here at home.  The heteronormative faction, as expected, frowned on this but since it was the exception rather than the norm, they weren’t all that worried about it because as far as they were concerned, Adam and Steve weren’t married and that was that… until, I guess, homosexuals here at home asked with very loud voices why they couldn’t be married here and with the exact same rights as Adam and Evelyn have being man and woman.

They could live together; they could work and pay taxes like everyone else and, grudgingly, been recognized as a couple – but without the rights of, say, Bert and Arlene could have even though they weren’t married – this situation is probably responsible for the repeal of common law marriages in some states, by the way.

But there’s a problem.  Being married isn’t just a religious commitment – it’s a legal one as well and the laws of the land say that Adam and Steve cannot be married; these laws have the religious tenets at the root of them and is prohibited because there’s no way in hell that Adam is going to get his wife, Steve, pregnant, which is in direct violation of God’s edict about this.

It all challenges the status quo; it’s not the way it’s supposed to be; it is resistance to a change that continues to happen right before our eyes and, really, if anyone was really paying attention to the way homosexuality was coming more and more out of the closet, they could and perhaps should have seen this one coming from a mile away.

The fight for rights has always been a bitter and, often, brutal battle and this one is no different and as in any battle, there are casualties literally and figuratively.  The resistance to this does, in a way, go against the very foundations of our existence as a country, that is, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness – and, for many, that includes the happiness of being joined in holy matrimony… except that’s just between a man and a woman… but love and that need for permanence between those who love each other has been proven that it just doesn’t exist between Adam and Evelyn.

The argument expands itself.  It is believed – and I have no idea why it is – that homosexuals cannot be good parents and perhaps this was because, duh, they couldn’t be parents in the way God ordered.  But when artificial insemination came along – and being able to adopt children has been around for a good long minute because some men and women just can’t comply with the edict – well, that changed a lot of shit, didn’t it?

Adam and Steve could try to adopt – not any easy thing to do even if they were man and woman – or they could pay a surrogate to have their child; likewise, Alice and Eve could try to adopt or go to a sperm bank and be made pregnant that way and, gasp, if they couldn’t afford the costs involved with this, they could have sex with a man and do it the good old-fashioned way – the horror of it all!  Sure, it kinda sidesteps the edict; they’re being fruitful and multiplying… just not with each other.

Ah, man… this is an argument that I wouldn’t want to have to take sides on.  Like maybe a lot of people, my thoughts are that if they ain’t bothering anyone, what’s the problem?  John Wilder and I had some pretty interesting arguments about this, him being a former minister and all that and myself being more of a scientific kind of guy.  I don’t say that this whole argument doesn’t have merit; again, it’s been the status quo for a very long time.

What I do ask is whether or not the argument continues to hold water in the face of contrary evidence.  It’s no longer theoretical, you know, in the realm of ‘what if’ – same sex couples want to get married just like anyone else can.  They love, they can reproduce and raise children even if it’s not in the traditional sense and they can uphold the religious and legal commitments.

That friend I mentioned in the beginning of this?  Well, we kinda got drunk one day and at his request, we gave each other a blow job because, as he explained it, that’s how close our friendship was, not to mention he confessed to being curious about whether there was any difference when a guy did it.  Here’s the funny part:  After that happened, he spotted this gay guy who lived in his area who even I knew was a pain in the ass – and he got started on Adam and Steve – again.  The gay guy got on everyone’s nerves because he was always parading around and letting everyone within the sound of his squeaky voice know he was looking for dick to fuck or suck and it was just so annoying.

My friend ranted and raved as expected and when he was done, all I said to him was, “And this is in spite of what happened between us that day?”  I know he didn’t regret or feel bad about it when we sobered up – which was good – but I was just amazed at how he saw this as being different from what he was raising hell about.  It was, in his eyes, an abomination for that gay guy to flaunt his sexuality and just downright fucked up that he’d preach about the glories of sucking dick as if it were gospel.

I realized at that point that trying to fully understand someone’s thoughts about this – and in this situation – was too much of a headache.  Maybe he was being hypocritical since he had done the thing he insisted should never be done (and more than once, I might add)?  I filed this under “Whatever” because to be in such denial about such things – and, again, with the evidence staring you in the face, makes no sense to me.

And probably never will.

Jeez, it’s almost time to exercise…

 

I’m Reminded…

I was reading Sean’s blog about the LGBT dance – http://havenofthought.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/first-lgbt-dance/ – and I was glad to read that he had a great time and really glad that he got laid.

Y’all know by now how my brain works, right?  I read the blog, got to thinking about him getting topped, remembered all the times I’d been on the receiving end… and my thoughts went to something I find kinda funny:  I could never do getting nailed in the missionary position.

Oh, I’ve tried it on many occasions but it seems that my hips just do not want to move in that fashion and, early on, I was always wondering how the hell women do it so easily.  I know that my inability to assume this basic position lent itself to both some really funny moments and a few not-so-funny moments and even some frustration.

All of this was running through my mind and I was alternating between smiling wryly and just frowning; I was actually kind pissed with myself because the younger version of myself was flexible enough to get my legs into the, ah, proper position… but I was never able to either hold it for very long or manage to hook my heels comfortably; my hips would just raise all kinds of hell.

I accepted the fact that this just wasn’t my favorite position to be in but also learned that just because I had… issues doing it in the good old missionary position, that didn’t mean that guys I was having sex with didn’t want to do it like that.  Indeed, I’ve run across guys who, for some reason, could only do it in the missionary position; any other position would cause them to lose their erection.  And, yeah, I’d wind up enduring the discomfort in my joints so that we could handle the business.

Once I was in the old MP and I was actually bearing up well; I opened my eyes so I could look at his cock in me and our eyes met… and he lost his erection… then he got mad with me and all because we accidentally looked at each other.  Since we were both 14 at the time, you just know that a fight ensued; he was fussing with me and I bluntly told him that it wasn’t my fault if he didn’t have the guts to look someone in the eye because he was guilty.

We wound up tussling in the nude and, somehow, my dick wound up in his butt… in the missionary position.  It was pretty funny but I also remember being even more pissed with him because he could do something I had problems doing.

You might be wondering why such a thing would even matter – let’s see if I can explain why it did to me.  Okay, when you start having sex like this, you learn some stuff, like how to suck dick, how to breathe through your nose to keep your gag reflex from kicking in; you learn how to swallow sperm and then learn how to relax enough to allow a dick in your ass.

You learn how to get boned lying flat on your belly; you learn how to get boned doggy-style; you learn how to ride a cock and, of course, getting boned in the MP should be the easiest thing to master.  I got the hang of all that stuff… except…

I don’t like to fail and this dislike of failure was very strong in me when I was younger because I didn’t think there were too many things that I couldn’t do, only to find out that there was something rather basic that I had problems with.  Later, of course, when you actually kinda ‘negotiate’ what position you wanna be fucked in, well, that made it easy; he’d say something like, “Let me put it in you!” and I’d roll over onto my stomach or get on my knees or even push him onto his back and mount him, anything other than trying to get my hips to do something they just didn’t want to do.

Hmm… my brain sure can pick some of the weirdest shit to think about, can’t it?  Even if you’re the one with someone in the MP, it’s not always as easy as we may think it should be; I’ve had men and women in this position and easy isn’t a word I’d use to describe things; you’d think our joints and stuff would be predisposed to assume this position but we learn that some people can do it and hold it and some folks just can’t… and I happen to be one of the people who can’t.

Okay, on to other things…

 

Odd Nasty Thoughts

As some of you may remember, seven years ago, I had a stroke; not only did it affect me physically but some of my memories took a hit as well.  Since then, I have… um, moments when memories I thought were gone suddenly appear out of nowhere; while this is a good thing, er, ah, some of the things that pop into my head aren’t exactly what I’d call clean and pure.

A few minutes ago, I’m taking care of the monthly business, ya know, paying stuff, trying to keep a close eye on what little money I have to work with, when out of the clear blue sky I started ‘thinking’ about every time I got fucked and every blow job I’ve ever given a guy.  I mean, I know I’ve done it – remembering that is easy enough – but I recalled some events that I didn’t even know I had forgotten until they flashed through my mind.

And, no, WordPress monitors, I am not going to add any of the nice pictures you provide to help illustrate things…

Now, as a bisexual, that I’ve done some… stuff is really no surprise to me and I’m glad that my brain is still working on rewiring itself.  What struck me about this event – other than the fact that it happened – was the afterthoughts when I got over the mild shock.  Well, it wasn’t exactly a thought as much as it was a comfortable feeling; see, now we’re about to get into some really esoteric shit.  It was like, yeah, I did that, liked that one time, didn’t as much like everything about the next event – kinda hard to really nail it down when the whole experienced lasted about a minute and so many things flashed through quickly but were noted just the same.

Memory is such a fantastic thing, ain’t it?

I told myself I needed to write this down because I might forget that it happened or that series of events may not take a dash across my neural pathways any time soon.  The feelings weren’t about being horny or anything; it was more like my brain was saying, “Oh, here’s some shit I found; take a look at it, okay?”

And I just kinda said, “Oh, okay…” and, well, it was just comfortable – sorry, but that’s the closest I can get to explaining how I felt.

All of this is kinda like a PSA for bi newbies or those bi-curious guys (or guys interested in the subject) that being comfortable with the thoughts of whatever it is you’ve done (or want to do) is a really good thing.  Yeah, sure, not every experience I had was all storybook perfect with a happy ending, a reminder that just focusing on the good things that happened doesn’t serve a purpose if/when you’re thinking about your sexuality – it’s best to examine it all because, as it is said, those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

This was different from when I’ve searched my mind for a particular event and then examine it in detail; like I said, it was like ‘reading’ some stuff that I found, stuff I hadn’t even known I’d lost – I just thought it interesting that this particular thing would pop into my head.

I know there are a lot of bisexuals who don’t really thing about being bisexual and, truthfully, I don’t think about it as much as I used to when I was younger, back when I had more questions than answers.  It’s really something when your brain, which has been known to conspire against you and act on its own volition, kinda makes you think about it… like you need to be reminded.

Even as I sit and write this, I’m still examining the stuff that was ‘found’ or restored, if you will and at a much slower speed… and it’s a lot of stuff to ‘look’ at (imagine me trying to look innocent).  I can ‘hear’ my inner voice saying things like, “Wow, I did that with that guy?” or asking, “Um, when did I do that?” or, a couple of times, I looked at something I had done and said, “Ouch…”

Along with the memories were impressions of things I was feeling like pain, discomfort, frustration, mad crazy hungry lust or the empty sensation of not feeling anything at all.  Excitement, doubt and uncertainty, and even feelings of resignation sped through along with the really heady feelings of doing something where the risk of getting caught is great… but you do it anyway.

And instead of trying to make some kind of sense out of those thoughts and feeling, I just sighed softly to myself and thought, “It’s all good…”  Now, because I did get these things back, I might come back later with what I think about those specific events.

 

Well, Okay…

So another of the Top Searches I’ve been trying to ignore – and haven’t been able to – is someone searching for, “bisexual fucking blog.”

As usual, my first thought was, “Why? Is the searcher looking for some porn-like stuff to read?”  Because if this is the case, um, good luck… and let me know if you find a blog written by a bisexual who is telling it all because I’d like to read it, too.

Bisexual sex isn’t all that different from ‘regular’ sex in that there aren’t that many people willing to share the intimate details of whatever it is they’re doing.  I mean, I’ll tell because there’s no shame in my game at all and even at the risk of getting bitch-slapped by the WordPress monitors… but to search for others who might be willing and able to speak about what they’re doing?

As we know and are learning, bisexuality, in and of itself, is becoming more ‘mainstream’ than ever before; people are finding out that it’s an alternative that isn’t as horrible as we’ve all been told and I think the main reason why the number of bisexuals becoming ‘visible’ is going up is that people are also learning that you can have sex this way and it doesn’t compromise their masculinity or femininity one way or the other; they’re still the same person they were before they straddled the fence and regardless to whatever they happen to be doing.

I’m not saying that bisexual sex isn’t a worthy topic to be written about; I’m just saying that not very many people are talking about it (other than yours truly).  If anything, they might share their thoughts and feelings where being bi is concerned… but as far as what they’re doing?  Not likely because sex is still one of those very private things and something that we’re never, ever, supposed to talk about in a public (or even sometimes a private) setting.

At one point, I gave some thought about separating out all my blogs about being bi into a separate page… but then I thought that since my blog is about life, living, and loving, sticking it out to one side kinda breaks up the continuity of thought and, well, my being bi is as integrated into me as breathing is; I wouldn’t try to separate my breathing from my pulse, right?  So I decided to leave things as they are so that when such things cross my mind, you (and especially myself) won’t have to look all over the place to find out what’s on my somewhat fertile mind.

 

Hilarity, DL-style

It was early this morning; I was, of course, quite awake and watching “Border Wars” when the guy-sex app on my iPod decided to wake up and start bombing me with incoming messages.  I looked at the number of messages, frowned, and flipped a mental coin on whether or not I was going to look at the messages; at zero dark thirty, I didn’t feel like having my bullshit meter pegged in the red zone.

The ‘coin’ came up tails; I frowned again – I should have cheated – and opened the app… and the first message I see is from a guy asking me how big my hands are and, in particular, how big my fist is.  Now, I have had guys leave me messages asking me some pretty weird shit, like the guy several years ago who wanted me to give him a golden shower.

Um, dude, that’s what they make toilets for, okay?  The question about my fist was so… different I actually looked at my hands and then made a fist.  I thought, “Okay, I’ve never run across a guy who was into fisting…” – so I first replied that I never gave any thought the size of my fists and asked if he was into being fisted.  I figured that I’d get a response from him and was expecting a yes answer; instead, he responded by asking me if I’d be willing to use them in the bedroom… and my eyes started rolling so hard I thought I heard them creaking in their sockets.  I mean, how hard is it to answer a simple question?  Apparently, friends, it’s incredibly difficult!  I decided any further response to this guy was unwarranted and unnecessary.

Next I saw messages from this guy who, oh, I guess a month or so ago, I told I wasn’t looking or interested in doing the deed with him… but he sent me messages asking me when we can get together?  What part of, “Sorry, I’m not interested” didn’t he understand?  No need to respond to any of his queries and I wondered for a moment if he was just being persistent or he was just downright stupid.

Next was a message from a guy who said he’d love for me to suck his nine-inch dick… but a check of his profile says his dick is six and a half inches.  Um, okay, fella, no need to respond to you, either.

Ya know, I can easily see and understand how and why men have this rep of thinking with their dicks and, thus, not being very intelligent.  I’m not saying that any budding bisexuals out there shouldn’t join such a site because you can actually meet some really nice and decent guys… once you work your way through all of the idiocy, that is.

I eventually went to bed and slept very well, thank you.  Ah, but when I got up and handled the morning business, I checked my iPod to see what I ‘missed’ while I slept; I’m playing “Words With Friends” with six people right now so I check to see what they’ve played; I check my Gmail account and clear out Facebook and game notifications… and the guy site app says I have three messages.

Blessedly, two of them were smiles… but there was one from some dude who was quite bold in telling me how much he’d love for us to get together so I could butt-fuck him.  I hadn’t even had a sip of coffee yet!  The message got deleted out of hand because, well, if you’re not going to take the time to read my profile, you’ve got some serious issues you need to attend to, like maybe learning how to read and, importantly, using your big head to do the thinking in this instead of the one in your underwear.

Yeah, I know… I’m riffing about the same lunacy… but there’s something to be learned here.  Again, we – men – have this very bad rep when we have sex on the brain and attention to detail kinda goes out of the window.  We tend to be single-minded about it and to the point where we ignore things we should be paying attention to so that you don’t ask a guy if you can top him when his profile says he’s not into being topped.

On a lot of these sites, there are a lot of men looking for dick and ass… but because they’re thinking with the wrong head, they’re often wondering why no one responds to their proposals or they get a response… and the responder is handing them their heads for being incredibly stupid.

I figured out some time ago that a lot of the men who troll such sites do so with the thought that any other man who’s on the site is desperate for sex with another guy and, thus, is going to be willing to throw down with anyone who asks.  Budding bi guys pay attention:  It is true that a lot of the problems bi men have is trying to find someone to have sex with.  However, it’s not as if there aren’t men out there to play with – there are a lot of guys who are bisexual or even gay who are willing to get all hot and sweaty with you and, yep, the Internet can give you access to more men than you can shake your dick at.  Still, none of this means that you have to put up with any dumb shit when it comes to this and, sadly, sites like this are chock full of more dumb shit than there is toilet paper to clean it up.

It’s really no different than trying to get a woman to give you some:  There is a right and wrong way to go about doing this and, say, if you’re being rather crude and telling a woman who doesn’t give head how much you want to fuck her mouth, um, guess what ain’t gonna happen?  So – and for bisexuals in particular – if you know this is true with women, uh, what makes you think it wouldn’t be true with some guy?  Huh?

The mistake these guys make is assuming that you want to do whatever they want to do – how dumb is that?  I mean, it’s not even a matter of it being a reasonable assumption because the only common ground here is that we like having sex with other men; how that might take place is very different and if you’re thinking, “Duh, of course it’s different!” then you’re feeling me on this one because it’s common sense… but it doesn’t seem to work with some guys, does it?

This shit is funny… but it’s also rather sad, too, when you stop to think about it… or it is when I stop to think about it, anyway.  It is said – and is true – that you only get one chance to make a good first impression and if you’re asking me to put my fist in your ass, um, you have not made a good first impression on me… but you do wind up being the topic of my next blog.  Do not try to impress me with the size of your dick; you approach me like a hood rat, not only am I not impressed but you will be summarily ignored.  Hell, come out your face in any way I think is wrong and find out what might happen, like leaving me a long message about how you’d like to fuck me in the ass.  If you’re lucky, I won’t even bother to reply; if you’re unlucky, I will tell you in some very painful detail just how much you didn’t impress me, up to and including questioning your parentage and your possible involvement with farm animals.

I understand that it’s just sex; it’s just so hilarious to see how guys behave in this, like being cordial and going for that good first impression isn’t important.  You wanna send me dirty messages?  Okay, I’m down with that… once you’ve made that good first impression; if you have and you wanna talk dirty, oh, yeah, bring it and I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll have you beating your meat like never before.

You come out of your face like that before establishing your bona fides, well…

 

Hating the Player and Not the Game

A new commenter, Non Angry Chocolate Chick, responded to, “When Shit Happens” and she asked what I thought was a good question.  For those of you who haven’t seen the comments to this particular blog, this is what she said:

“ I have always believed that if any society forbidden sexual situation presented itself, at the moment, most of us will succumb even when we don’t approve of the behavior. Could this be why some men claim they hate gays? I say, hating gays because they are gay spells fear of one’s own inability to pass on a gay’s passes.“

I thought about this for a moment and, on the surface, there are two reasons why men might hate gays.  One is  religious belief; the other is some men feel that gays, in particular, offend their sense of manliness.  For instance, I don’t hate gays… but those really femme gay dudes have always made my nuts itch.  I mean, I used to know a few of the aforementioned guys… and we got along just fine… but even I will admit that there something about a guy behaving like a woman that just rubs me the wrong way.

Now, what I do know is that guys who have had sex with other dudes will, as a matter of course, categorically and emphatically deny that they would ever have sex with another dude in a ‘public’ setting, like, hanging with the fellas.  I have seen them do this, just like I’ve bitten my lip to keep from laughing to hear some of these same guys swear to God they’d never do it… but then present, um, hypothetical situations that would allow such a ‘deplorable’ act to happen to them.  Certainly, you can tell the guys who truly would never do it, not even if you stuck a gun in their ear and you were putting pressure on the trigger.  A dear friend of my liked to toss out that tired-assed “Adam and Steve” thing… but I knew his objections weren’t based on religion – it just offended his manhood.

I know guys who have ‘succumbed’ to the illicit thrill of having sex with another dude.  Some have just gotten some head, some have even fucked another dude while a few more have admitted to sucking dick and getting poked in the butt.  And, yep, a few of these guys were quite angry about it, too… but more with themselves than the guy who might have persuaded them to get jiggy and that’s rather understandable when you think about the fact that we’re conditioned to be all macho… and macho guys don’t let other guys give them a blow job… and they like it.

But the dynamic has changed.  As I’ve said on many occasions, a lot of guys are finding out that they can, in fact, have sex of some kind with another man and still be manly, boisterous, and macho.  Most of these guys aren’t going to announce to one and all that they’re doing this and, again, get a bunch of fellas together and the topic comes up, you bet your ass, they’re gonna be doing some serious hating on anyone who’d throw down like this which, of course, means that they’re actually hating on themselves, aren’t they?

Men are some funny creatures.  We seem compelled to thump our chests, flood entire areas with testosterone, oozing machismo and toughness from every pore of our bodies, and there are few situations that could come up that we wouldn’t stand tall and face the impossible odds and know that if we weren’t victorious, we would go down hard and not without a fight… because we’re guys.  Those of us who aren’t gay all pray at the altar of pussy; whether we eat it or not is another one of those jokes… but we will sure as hell fuck the shit out any and all pussy that comes our way… because we’re guys and that’s how we roll.  Shit, even though we’ve learned how to spank our monkeys at an early age, some of us are so, um, macho that we won’t even admit to jerking off because, as one dude I know once said, “Shit, man, what the fuck you think women are for?”… because we’re guys and we must maintain that appearance of ultimate manliness at all times.

Except some of us know for a fact that women ain’t the only people who can be fucked and they sure as hell ain’t the only people who can suck dick.  This presents a problem; it really spits in the face of machismo and gives manliness a horrific steel-toed boot to the nuts… or does it?  Then there’s perception, which is usual a lot worse than the truth.  You walk up to a guy and mention the word “gay” to him and I’m almost pretty sure that the image that pops into his head – and before he verbally responds/reacts – is one of a “fruity” kinda dude who spent more time being raised by his mom and sisters than his daddy, complete with limp wrist and that damned head-bobbing thing that only women can do.

And for a lot of guys, the flamboyant gay man is seen as a direct insult to manliness everywhere… but the bisexual or gay dude who doesn’t display any ‘feminine’ behaviors?  Well, that’s beginning to be okay these days – because that’s different.  When they’re not sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass, these guys are real stand-up, hardcore men and not someone you’d ever label with “Ms. Thang.”  You can, say, play basketball with such a dude and he will lower that shoulder on a drive to the basket and knock your ass off the court in a heartbeat or, in football, will lay a hit on you that’s so hard you’ll get knocked back to your 13th birthday… because they’re men and men play rough and tough.

So if a guy should succumb to the lure of man-on-man sex, if there’s any hatred, where should it be directed?  Because unless there’s some rape going on here, um, didn’t both of you agree to do whatever the two of you did… and, yep, shit does happen at times, too.

Again, I know guys who have done this and have been angry with themselves; I know guys who have done this and they are genuinely confused because, of course, that kind of shit ain’t supposed to feel good at all… which  doesn’t change the fact that it did.  The only time that I know of where a guy succumbed to the lure and then there was some serious animosity going on after the fact happened because the other dude went around running his mouth about what happened and, yeah, kinda understandably, this is something that calls for opening a case of whup-ass on the blabbermouth.

Some of the hating is real, make no mistake about this.  Still, I’ve heard a lot of guys say – and this is classic – that if that’s the gay guy’s thing, they don’t have a problem with it as long as they keep that shit to themselves and you can just tell when they mean what they say and it’s not just perpetrating a fraud just so the fellas know that you’re still on the same page with them.

And we know all too well of the violence directed at gay men back in the day, just as we are seeing young people being bullied until they commit suicide because they’re gay so, shit yeah, hating the player and the game is still out there.

I think another source of the ‘anger’ one might feel in this is that thing we have about not wanting to be seen as weak and, yeah, some guys could very well see letting a dude blow them as a sign of weakness – tasting the forbidden fruit and not being able to keep their horniess under control until some pussy can get spanked.  I know one guy who, after having sex with another dude – and loving it – said that he saw his participation as a failure.  Because, yeah, there was a time that giving in to this particular temptation could be seen as a failure and even a betrayal of manliness.

With the exception of gay men, no other man ever wants to be seen as or referred to as being gay; I have seen some vicious fights break out behind this one.  One’s manhood is to always be defended… but guys today, well, we’re not as stupid as certain folks with titties might think we are because we have learned that there’s another way for us to get our rocks off and it doesn’t make us any less of a man.  I don’t think a guy who will have that first taste of this kind of sex and then come back for more whenever it’s available doesn’t have any angst over the possibility of wanting to do it again – just don’t suggest that he’s less of a man because he does indulge himself in this manner.

I just had to get this out of my head.  I thought Non Angry Chocolate Chick’s comment and question was a good one and worthy of a blog on the subject.