I was reading Sean’s blog about the LGBT dance – http://havenofthought.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/first-lgbt-dance/ – and I was glad to read that he had a great time and really glad that he got laid.
Y’all know by now how my brain works, right? I read the blog, got to thinking about him getting topped, remembered all the times I’d been on the receiving end… and my thoughts went to something I find kinda funny: I could never do getting nailed in the missionary position.
Oh, I’ve tried it on many occasions but it seems that my hips just do not want to move in that fashion and, early on, I was always wondering how the hell women do it so easily. I know that my inability to assume this basic position lent itself to both some really funny moments and a few not-so-funny moments and even some frustration.
All of this was running through my mind and I was alternating between smiling wryly and just frowning; I was actually kind pissed with myself because the younger version of myself was flexible enough to get my legs into the, ah, proper position… but I was never able to either hold it for very long or manage to hook my heels comfortably; my hips would just raise all kinds of hell.
I accepted the fact that this just wasn’t my favorite position to be in but also learned that just because I had… issues doing it in the good old missionary position, that didn’t mean that guys I was having sex with didn’t want to do it like that. Indeed, I’ve run across guys who, for some reason, could only do it in the missionary position; any other position would cause them to lose their erection. And, yeah, I’d wind up enduring the discomfort in my joints so that we could handle the business.
Once I was in the old MP and I was actually bearing up well; I opened my eyes so I could look at his cock in me and our eyes met… and he lost his erection… then he got mad with me and all because we accidentally looked at each other. Since we were both 14 at the time, you just know that a fight ensued; he was fussing with me and I bluntly told him that it wasn’t my fault if he didn’t have the guts to look someone in the eye because he was guilty.
We wound up tussling in the nude and, somehow, my dick wound up in his butt… in the missionary position. It was pretty funny but I also remember being even more pissed with him because he could do something I had problems doing.
You might be wondering why such a thing would even matter – let’s see if I can explain why it did to me. Okay, when you start having sex like this, you learn some stuff, like how to suck dick, how to breathe through your nose to keep your gag reflex from kicking in; you learn how to swallow sperm and then learn how to relax enough to allow a dick in your ass.
You learn how to get boned lying flat on your belly; you learn how to get boned doggy-style; you learn how to ride a cock and, of course, getting boned in the MP should be the easiest thing to master. I got the hang of all that stuff… except…
I don’t like to fail and this dislike of failure was very strong in me when I was younger because I didn’t think there were too many things that I couldn’t do, only to find out that there was something rather basic that I had problems with. Later, of course, when you actually kinda ‘negotiate’ what position you wanna be fucked in, well, that made it easy; he’d say something like, “Let me put it in you!” and I’d roll over onto my stomach or get on my knees or even push him onto his back and mount him, anything other than trying to get my hips to do something they just didn’t want to do.
Hmm… my brain sure can pick some of the weirdest shit to think about, can’t it? Even if you’re the one with someone in the MP, it’s not always as easy as we may think it should be; I’ve had men and women in this position and easy isn’t a word I’d use to describe things; you’d think our joints and stuff would be predisposed to assume this position but we learn that some people can do it and hold it and some folks just can’t… and I happen to be one of the people who can’t.
Okay, on to other things…