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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: That Phobia Thing

phobia (n):  an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation (definition courtesy of the iPad version of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

I was checking out my notifications on Twitter and one of the new tweets I missed overnight contained the words “biphobia” and “transphobia,” the latest sexuality-related fear being given voice to… and it made me wonder (and, as usual, not for the first time) if the people who throw these words around understand what a phobia is – hence the moment it took for me to tap the icon on my iPad for the dictionary and look it up so I could display it here.  Humans are funny (and like you needed me to remind you of this?) in that we consider ourselves to be both rational and civilized even though we’ve proven over our existence as a species that we can be anything but.

The question that popped into my head was, “Is biphobia really an inexplicable and illogical fear… or is this a fear that’s been taught to us thanks to social conditioning?”  It’s one thing to think/believe that bisexuality is morally wrong and this is what we’re taught… but to develop a phobia?  I don’t know if you guys are aware of this but phobias are some pretty serious things that tend to defy explanation, like how some people are afraid of clouds (nephophobia) and seeing them can cause panic attacks and other uncomfortable things.

Some fears are ingrained into us over our evolution, like arachnophobia (the fear of spiders) and ophidiophobia (the fear of snakes) and, well, both of these animals are not only creepy looking but some of them can kill the shit out of us and, at the least, make us sick, cause disfiguring damage, etc., so these two phobias kinda make sense, don’t they… for something that, by definition, is said to be an inexplicable and illogical fear.  Think about that one for a moment while I keep typing.

So what’s the fear invoked by bisexuals, homosexuals, and transgender?  The next and, I think, obvious question isn’t so much that these phobias exist but why they exist and it’s just a guess on my part but it’s probably because we’ve always had a fear of that which is different from us, better known as the fear of the other or, “If you aren’t like us, you’re against us.”  It begs a question:  Is this a true phobia… or just our natural tendency to be prejudiced against those who are not like us?  We know that religion has literally put the fear of God into us about being anything but heterosexual so we have been conditioned to fear homosexuals and it seems that this has been expanded to include everyone else who isn’t heterosexual… and while I haven’t looked it up, uh, is there such a thing as heterophobia?

Well, damn… apparently, there is!  From what I’m looking at (courtesy of http:/www.panphobia.com), “The term heterophobia is, perhaps, only less than two decades old – a much shorter period than its more familiar sibling, homophobia, which dates to 1958.”

Who knew?  Which again makes me wonder:  Is this a genuine, 100% for-real, by the book phobia… or is this just “mere” prejudice toward those who aren’t like us?

Cityman and I talk about this at times and we’ve opined that bisexuality can be perceived as a “threat” to the ways of life for both heterosexuals and homosexuals and, simply, because bisexuals take what we know – and what we’ve been taught – about sex and flushes it down the toilet… but is this a true phobia… or just another way for us to put our ability to be prejudiced on display?  Now…

I see some folks write about how biphobia has a negative effect on the lives of bisexuals and, well, I don’t see it… although, admittedly, I’m kinda sure no one would really wanna fuck with me about being bisexual and those who have found reason to regret it.  But, my point here is that if you don’t buy into this biphobia bullshit, how can it have a negative effect on you?  No, this isn’t a case of pretending it doesn’t exist; this is me coming to the conclusion of not worrying myself about something that most people don’t really understand and especially those people who, inexplicably and illogically, assume that bisexuals and homosexuals are one and the same… and we aren’t.  Or, like I said to a guy – and way, way before the word “biphobia” was coined, “If you don’t believe that I’m not homosexual, I can prove it to you; all you have to do is bring me your woman and watch what happens…”

Funny that he suddenly didn’t seem to require any proof…

So, perhaps one can conclude that biphobia – and the other sexuality-related phobias – is a real phobia albeit one that we’ve been taught to have?  Yes, I know:  There are many people who believe that having such phobias makes no sense at all, that all they do is to perpetuate our fear of that which isn’t like us, to keep drawing lines of division between us even though we are the same species.  But if it made sense, um, would it really be a phobia as defined?  I’ll leave that up to y’all to figure out…

PS:  If you’ve ever wonder why I often say that our fears make us foolish, maybe this scribbling will serve to illustrate why I say this.

 
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Posted by on 20 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bi-erasure

Look, they can say what they want against bisexuality; they can try minimize it, downplay it, denigrate and vilify it and despite all of this shit, the only thing that can erase me as a bisexual is my death.

They say we don’t exist and, shit, yeah, I not only beg to differ but aren’t those folks trying to make us go away saying the same shit they said about homosexuals?  It didn’t make homosexuality go away so what the fuck makes them think they can make bi folks vanish into thin air?

They can only erase you if you let them do it and this is one bisexual who says to those folks, “Bring it on… try to erase me.”  I’ve had sex with way too many men and women to believe that, what’s that they’re saying, I’m really homosexual.  Truth is they’re only half right because without any shame, I’m only homosexual when I’m sucking some dude’s cock (and probably because the wifey won’t do it for him) and, duh, when I’m not doing that, I’m heterosexual and if ya don’t believe me, ask my woman how much I love her and her sweet pussy.

Erase me?  Good luck with that.  Those poor deluded people say that we’re in denial… but are we really?  Hmm, I don’t see or hear any bisexuals saying that we don’t exist so who’s really in denial here?

It sure the fuck ain’t us…

When they’re not busy stupidly trying to erase us, they’re trying to scare us straight by playing the disease card and then only telling part of the truth.  They try to heterosexualize our sexuality, thinking that the same values held dear by straight folks somehow must apply to us, oh, like, you gotta be in a same-sex relationship or you’re not really bi… and to that I say,”Bullshit.  Your existence depends on being able to have a relationship because, oh, yeah, that’s really the only way you know; still, no matter if I’m in a relationship with a man or a woman, I will always be bisexual… so that same-sex relationship thing means nothing except to those bisexuals who do want this for themselves.

They try to minimalist us by saying romance is the only thing… and that’s not the whole truth either and maybe, just maybe, some us of make you nervous and itchy because we’re all about the sex either way.  Oh, we can fall in love just fine… but we will damn well do that in whatever way we want to and not how you think we should.

They bad-mouth us by saying we can’t commit, are too flighty, and way too greedy… but what they conveniently neglect to say that these traits aren’t the sole province of bisexuals.  Shit, I’d cop to the being greedy part because, damned right, I want all the love and sex I can get before I die and if ya got a problem with that, too bad.

No matter what you say, you can’t erase us and you never will.  Sure, you can fuck with the heads of some us, makes us doubt ourselves, and continue to blast us with your carefully spun numbers on suicide and domestic violence… but that ain’t in our sole province either because anyone, regardless of sexuality, can encounter these downsides of life.

So, fuck you; try to erase me if you dare.  I know, even if you don’t, that your moral resistance is futile, that your view of the world is way narrower than my own so you’re just wasting your time trying to ice something that no one in any period of time has been able to eliminate.

Tell me again how that worked when you tried to erase homosexuals…

You biphobic folks scrambling to find a way to negate our existence have to be aware of something:  The world is changing whether you like it or not; each and every day more people are discovering, embracing and reveling in their bisexuality; people who have sworn that they’d never be bisexual are learning that, hey, this ain’t as bad as they’ve been saying; more and more people are getting free of those monosexual bonds you cling precariously and oh, so dear to.

Change has always been coming… and it is here and all in your faces.  I’m not without sympathy or compassion; I do, in fact, understand why you’re fruitlessly trying to erase us because we threaten all in which you fervently believe… but I don’t and won’t ever apologize for what I am because I’m being exactly what I need to be:

Bisexual.  Capable of love and sex with men and women and however you want categorize that.  Why?  The answer is, actually, quite simple:  Because we can.  You see, either innately or by facts, we know that what you believe in is horribly flawed and, as such, while it works for you, um, we just ain’t feeling it, no, not anymore.  We’re like you… but not really.  We, like you eraser chasers, want all of the best we can get and in the time that’s available to us, be it love, romance, relationships or, yeah, just getting our rocks off… we just don’t have much in the way of qualms with who we can do these things with.

I know, if no one else does, that we tend to kill that which we don’t understand and I know you don’t really understand us because you’re incapable of walking in our shoes.  So, yeah, instead of understanding us – and let alone accept the reality of our existence – you wanna get rid of us and act as if we don’t exist… and how, exactly, has that been working for ya, hmm?

So, here we go:  If you’re straight, you’ve chosen your path and ditto if you’re gay.  You believe – and I don’t pretend to understand why – that once you “choose a side,” you can’t ever change your, ah, allegiance.  But just as you have, we’ve chosen our side, which happens to be more or less in the middle of things… And some of us used to be straight, some of us used to be gay, too.  Why?  Because the logic of what you believe is faulty and sorely outdated and, oh ,yeah, um, people have been known to change their minds about anything, right?

Finally, how prudish – and maybe even foolish – are you to be fussing about something you say doesn’t exist in the first place?  This isn’t like trying to prove or disprove the existence of God; no, bisexuality ain’t about a matter of faith, trust me… but your faith in what you believe blinds you to the truth.  You say bisexuality can’t exist… and yet it does because, uh, I’m bisexual and I know a lot of bisexuals so no – we are not a figment of your imagination and if you really need some proof, well, that, I believe, can be arranged, heh, heh.

Your words, such as they are, cannot erase what has always existed; you remind me of the child who thinks that if they cover their own eyes, you can’t see them.  Your way, your paths to love, sex, and relationships aren’t the only paths and we know because we’re walking it every fucking day.

Get with the program already, will you?  You want to erase something?  Make homelessness go away; erase hunger; erase drug abuse and the violence that comes with it if you wanna do something that’s more important and worthwhile and even noble because you can never make bisexuality go away just because we won’t fully conform to the way you see the world.  We’re not straight… but we’re not gay, either.

Deal with it.  You don’t have to like it but bisexuality just ain’t going anywhere until mankind is extinct.  You don’t have to agree with it, not that people are know for their ability to agree on anything.  If you refuse to accept our obvious existence, well, might I recommend you stop what you’re doing for a very serious reality check?  You think or feel in this unproductive way you do and that’s fine… but just because your head is wired like that doesn’t and never will mean that bisexuality and bisexuals don’t exist and simply because I know that I exist… and I ain’t the only bisexual on the planet; that’s as impossible as you trying to erase us, ain’t it?

Duh.  You’re fighting human nature and you cannot win against the nature of what we are and what we’re capable of when it comes to those things you hold dearly.

 
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Posted by on 16 November 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Time to Rant and Riff

Before I went to bed, I was reading an email my newest friend (who continues to remain nameless since I’ve not asked his permission to name him) and, wow, this dude has really got his head in the right place about his bisexuality.  During his engaging discourse, he said the “P” word when saying a few things about how he had been holding on to his heterosexuality while, in essence, kinda/sorta denying his bisexuality.  I said some things to him about that but as I finished going through my emails this morning, his email popped back into my head and my thoughts focused on his use of the “P” word.

Privilege:  “A special right, advantage or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.”  There are many who accuse bisexuals of having some kind of “straight privilege” and seeing my friend use the word in this context got me to wondering just who in our society granted us a privilege to do or be something that, as bisexuals, we tend to do by default, i.e., be heterosexual?  I’ve always felt that anyone who feels that our heterosexual side is some unearned or undeserved perk just really doesn’t understand a damned thing about bisexuals and, yes, I will once again point out that the group of people who has saying this shit the loudest are those people who have more problems living in a heterosexual world than bisexuals do.

I had all of this running through my head and I was fuming; I thought, “Those motherfuckers are just pissed because we can do something that they can’t; they have never been pleased about the fact that we can “get away” with something that they themselves have had so much trouble trying to pull off, just like they’ve been the ones living in the most fear regarding their sexuality that they only place they could try to hide was, in fact, in the heterosexual world even though they weren’t all that happy about having to be straight-acting…”

The fact that they even dare to assume that we – bisexuals – have some privilege continues to tell me that they’re among a group of people who, for reasons only God may know, continue to believe that people are either just straight or just homosexual, that someone couldn’t actually be both in some form or another, and that someone could never change their mind and make a decision (and you can damned well read that as meaning a choice) to shuck off their “current” sexual orientation and be bisexual… and simply because it suits their purposes in life to be bisexual.  It presumes, and incorrectly so, I might add, that someone who has lived their life with either same or opposite sex attractions just couldn’t possibly find a reason to develop attractions to the same and opposite sex in tandem… and since these folks have such a narrow view of the way things really work when it comes to humans, bisexuals are being accused of faking the funk and taking advantage of the “privilege” of heterosexuality which also incorrectly presumes that bisexuals are really homosexuals who don’t want anyone to know they’re really homosexuals.

Really?  I mean, really fucking really?  We – society – get our tits in a bunch about human rights and understandably, justifiably so given that so many people in the world continue to have their rights as a human being suppressed and just flat-out stomped on and the biggest one is our God-given right to live our individual lives as we see fit and without persecution.  If you believe this to be true, then bisexuals have that same God-given right to be both heterosexual and homosexual as they see the need to be… except we also live in a “majority-ruled society” that also believes that everyone has to be heterosexual and if you aren’t, well, your right to live your life the best way you can is null and void… and you only have to look at the way homosexuals have been treated to see and understand this.

I guess that there are some folks who just feel they have to invoke “misery loves company” because they’ve historically had so much trouble living in a predominantly heterosexual world and since this has been a pain in their collective asses for so long (figuratively speaking, of course), they find reason to want to drag bisexuals down right along with them and, oh, yeah, if they can also take a few transgender folks with them, so much the better.  They just can’t deal with the fact that someone like me is not only heterosexual and homosexual but one of my other default behaviors is being heterosexual and, oh, yeah, being heterosexual by default is a choice I made because it suits my purposes as I go about the pursuit of happiness and exercising my God-given right to live my life.  How fucking hard is it to understand this?  How damned difficult is it to accept this?  If those people – and they know who the fuck they are – think we have some kind of privilege that keeps us from being persecuted for our orientation, then why don’t they stop moaning and whining about what we naturally have and focus their thoughts on getting to where we, as bisexuals, have always been?

Oh, yeah, that’s right – that’s exactly what they’ve been doing for as long as I can remember, haven’t they… and it wasn’t until now that they’ve made any real progress toward that end but, comparatively speaking and with an eye on the grand scheme of things, nah, they’ve not really gotten as far as they’d like in their goal – nay, their need – to be treated just like everyone else which, unfortunately for them, is a problem that bisexuals have never had; we don’t have that problem because, again, for many of us, our default behavior is to be heterosexual… but we are far from being monosexual and, yeah, I can see how that can just stick in their collective craws.  By comparison, affirmative action was a privilege granted to minority groups because of the unfair treatment of said minorities and, yep, AA pissed a lot of people off – it still does and to the point where “charges” of reverse-discrimination abound due to this special right that was granted so long ago.  This was – is – some very messy shit; AA was enacted because minorities were being denied the equal rights granted to all Americans under the Constitution – it was supposed to right a long-standing wrong and, yep, even I took advantage of that special right so I could get on my feet and take care of myself and my family.

What does that have to do with anything?  Well, if you think about it – if you care to think about it – you can maybe see the word “privilege” in action and, perhaps, begin to understand that sexuality – and how we go about being straight, bi, or gay, isn’t a privilege; even if it cannot be agreed upon that our right to be whatever sexuality suits our purposes is a God-given right, as Americans, we do have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Even though we are guaranteed equality under the law, we also know that, um, we don’t give a fuck about the law, do we, because we continue to treat each other unequally all up and down the line and so, in a way, I can see and understand why there are some people out there who think that I, as a bisexual, have some privilege to be treated as a heterosexual even when I know I’m not… but it’s not a privilege, not by definition; I’m just able to exercise my “equal rights” better than someone who can’t because of our natural tendency to hate that which is different from us.

To those who still want to believe that we have some kind of privilege, I have this to say:  Don’t hate the player, hate the game; stop accusing us for having something that, in truth, we never had and, by all means, get your asses off your back because you think we have something that you want and you wanna believe we don’t deserve it and more so since you’re still having a hard time getting to where bisexuals have always been and, please, stop making your problems with this our problems.  Bisexuals have enough shit fucking with their heads without have this so-called straight privilege charge being levied on us, okay?  There are heterosexuals out there who are pitching a bitch about your so-called gay privilege, raising all kinds of hell because you are being granted rights that they don’t believe you’re entitled to since homosexuals are such soulless, godless, creatures; they feel that you are trampling on their right to be heterosexual as well as their right to believe that being heterosexual is the only true way to believe.  And I get it that this just fucks with you and, for a lot of you – and given my age and all that – I knew you were being fucked with about this before some of you were even born so you were always fighting an uphill battle… but that’s what happens when you show your face and paint a target upon yourselves – you get shot at and you will continue to be shot at until you are totally and utterly destroyed.

Unlike you folks – and, again, you know who you are – we are not hiding to avoid persecution, not like homosexuals have been persecuted.  You choose to be homosexual – and that is your right, in my opinion, but we choose to be bisexual and just the nature of what we are gives us a choice that you don’t have – we can be straight or gay as we see fit and if we choose to be more straight than gay, well, what’s the problem?  We’re just doing what we’ve always been able to do and, really, if we are hiding from anything, we’re staying under the radar so we won’t be mistaken for homosexuals and become subject to the same persecution you are bravely, valiantly, trying to get away from.

There is no straight privilege for us; we can’t be accused of “acting straight” because we are, in fact and in deed, straight… when we want and need to be… and homosexual, too.  You wanna fuck with us about this nonsense but what about all the homosexuals who have been acting straight and because they are trying to escape to escape persecution.  Fuck no… we’re not guilty of having that straight privilege… but some homosexuals are guilty of it, aren’t they?  What… y’all don’t wanna talk about that?  Why not?  Don’t get me wrong, I really do get why there are straight-acting gays; as far as society is concerned, you’re prey to be hunted and eradicated, terminated with extreme prejudice… but don’t you fucking dare accuse us of doing something “dishonest” when you’re the ones who, even by necessity, have been dishonest about your true identities in the sexuality world.

There is no fucking “straight privilege” we’re taking advantage of; you’re just miffed because we can do something you can’t do.  If you feel that we have some kind of privilege at work here in being straight, do we also have a “gay privilege” as well?  Can you point the finger at us for faking our homosexuality as easily as you point the finger at us for faking our heterosexuality?  Are we really faking any funk here… or are we, in fact, just doing what’s natural for us to do?  We have something you desperately want and need and, again, even I understand why you’ve been fighting this war for as long as you’ve been fighting it… but while I don’t know and cannot speak for other or all bisexuals, I am one – and likely one of many – bisexuals who fervently wish you’d stop trying to drag us into your war with heterosexuality; just stop fucking with us about this, will you?  Like I said, we have enough issues being bisexual so we sure the fuck don’t need any more shit piled onto us… and it ain’t even some shit of our own making.  Believe it or not, a lot of bisexuals – and this one included – are on your side as you fight for your rights to be treated equally; by some of y’all going out of your way to alienate us, well, you’re not helping your cause a whole lot, are you?

I just had the insane thought that if those folks – you fucking know who you are – feel that we have some kind of privilege, well, there’s a way you can have that same “privilege” you think we have:  Become bisexual!  But, ah, you’re not gonna do that, are you, and you won’t because – wait for it – you do have the right to be homosexual because it’s how you choose to live your lives that way and, at least here in the United States of America, that you have that right is, in and of itself, a privilege and one that cannot be easily had anywhere else in the world.

Thus endeth the rant…

 
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Posted by on 24 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bearing Witness

While there are those who aren’t happy about the fact that bisexuals are, by and large, invisible – read that as most bisexuals go about their day and without a neon pink sign on them that’s screaming, “Look at me!  I’m bisexual!” – there are a few advantages to our invisibility, like, being able to bear witness to the derogatory way anyone who is assumed or presumed not to be straight is talked about.

I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve been around people and have had to listen to the shit coming out their mouths as their homophobic views are put out there.  At first, oh, man, I used to get so pissed because sometimes, they were talking about people like me even though they weren’t really talking about me; it took me a while to learn how to contain my anger and not let their crass rantings affect me… but it was difficult.  Such raving sessions would often get uncomfortable as the ranters would try to include me in their denigration, egging me on to say something nasty about “that faggot mother fucker” or “that punk-assed, cock sucking bitch” and other such epithets that would have my face burning in shame to hear such things coming out of someone’s mouth – and more so if I knew any of the people spouting this bullshit.

I refused to add anything to their, ah, discussion and, at times, my refusal would make the pack turn on me because I guess they figured that if I wasn’t gonna join them, the reason must be because I’m one of the motherfuckers they’re talking about – and, again, without realizing that I was.  Ah, but my reputation, more often than not, preceded me and all it would take was a look from me that said that fucking with me might not be a good idea and if the look wasn’t enough, well, my “mastery” of words was pretty lethal and if it came to blows – and sometimes it would – well, someone who didn’t know me would find out why I had the “silent but deadly” rep and in a very painful way.  Of course, as I got much older, responding to this shit with violence wasn’t the answer but, yeah, while they’d go about their homophobic rants, they stopped trying to get me to join in and it was easier just to walk away shaking my head.

It got to a point where I could discern genuine homophobia from guys just waving their dicks around and hosing the area down with testosterone-laden machismo; if you were a guy, of course you’d be against any guy who’d have sex with another guy and, equally of course, you just had to shout it all down because we’re guys… and guys don’t do that girly shit.  It went from being disturbing to being funny in both senses – ironically and humorously – because I knew for a fact that some of the guys ranting and raving against homosexual men weren’t all that adverse to some sex from that side of the fence.  So, yeah, they were perpetrating a fraud big time and lying like rugs about their “hatred” of homosexuals and switch-hitters and all just to save face… but it rarely stopped them from adding to the verbal denigration of some unsuspecting guy whose only “crime” was the way he was walking when he passed by.  I began to see this as both interesting and funny because, um, if you guys are as homophobic as you say you are, ah, why were you looking at that guy’s ass when he walked by?

As I began to travel here and there, I learned that this behavior wasn’t just a local thing – this behavior was alarmingly wide-spread and was the only thing that would cross even racial boundaries; ya might be a nigger that a group of white guys didn’t like… but if you didn’t like fags, well, welcome, brother!  Hey, if you hate fags like we do, you can’t be all that bad – let’s go get a beer!  I’d hear shit like this and it was just shameful to bear witness to and more so when even the strangers I encountered in my travels would talk beaucoup shit against homosexuals… but would also say shit like if some faggot tried to hit on him, not only would they kick the faggot’s ass… but then they’d sexually assault them orally, anally, or both… and I’d think, “What the fuck?  If you believe that being a gay man is the worst thing in the world, why would you rape him?”

The answer was disturbing – some guys just get off emasculating other men like that but I was now wondering how you could emasculate a man who, at least to himself, is more female than male?  I even asked a couple of “homophobic” guys why they’d make “that fairy” suck their dick if they were so against such things?  I swear, one guy said, “So they will know what a real man is like!”  What the fuck…?  Okay… so these rabble-rousers aren’t really as homophobic as they say they are – they’re just faking the funk and not really a threat to anyone.  But the true homophobes?  Just being around these guys was scary and their religion-based ravings often had me wondering about their sanity and more so when some would easily say that if some fag even thought about hitting on them, the fairy would be killed and they wouldn’t lose any sleep over it because, in their point of view, all sinners like fags and fairies and bull dykes should be put to death.

Women weren’t left out, either.  It was just astonishing to hear men plastering the “lesbian” label on a woman – and usually because if she’s not just gonna give up the pussy to any man who asks for it, well, she must be one of those dyke bitches and a man-hater… even if the woman in question was, in fact, very much straight.  Oddly enough, the butch lesbians that were known of – those women made no bones about them hating dick and loving women – were kinda feared more than “hated;” they’d get talked about behind their backs but even those macho motherfuckers wouldn’t get into a confrontation with one and more so since most of the legit butch lesbians were known to carry a few straight razors and had no compunction against using them if they felt it necessary.

I eventually got to the point where I’d hear this shit and just tune it out but I’d devote a little brain power to giving this behavior some thought so I was beginning to see this “clearly” in two ways:  Fear and plain old macho blustering and posturing.  It became apparent that the real homophobes were they way they were merely out of the perceived “threat” to their masculinity and such a threat to them – real or otherwise – was just some very scary and fearsome shit to them.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard a real homophobe say, “If some dude tried to fuck me, I’d (add something violent here)…” I’d be rich beyond the dreams of avarice.  I came to understand that some dudes were homophobic because someone really did fuck them or otherwise “take their manhood” from them so for them, their hatred and fear was very real; with some dudes, well, all they were really doing was parroting the very ancient prejudices against any man who’d lie down with another man that were handed down from generation to generation and then because of their fervent belief in the biblical laws against this in the Old Testament.  Some were made to be homophobic; in some families, if a boy showed any “feminine” signs or even any sympathy toward gay folks, they’d get their asses kicked until they toed the line and was able to spout the homophobic rhetoric verbatim.  One guy told me once, “I don’t really hate gay people but if I don’t act like I hate them, I’ll get my ass kicked something fierce!”

Which brings us to the present.  Anyone with at least a sixth grade education should know that a phobia is a fear of something so the biphobic and homophobic trash talking that’s flying around all over the place is based on fear.  The rhetoric is laced with almost every fearful fact that can be brought to bear – HIV/AIDS is the most popular and statistics about mental illness and suicide rates are spun to make it look like if you’re bisexual/homosexual, not only are you crazy but you’re gonna off yourself at some point because you’re crazy and that’s because you’re not straight.  Some continue to do their best to instill the fear of God into anyone who isn’t straight, hammering us with religious dogma and insisting that our souls will be damned to hell for all eternity because anyone who isn’t straight just upsets the natural order of things.

Maybe it’s just me (again) but what these phobic people are talking about isn’t as important as the reason why they’re doing it – what are they afraid of?  Does it make sense for anyone to have this phobia and more so when, probably in most cases, they have a phobia that got handed down to them somewhere along the line?  They have this phobia because someone somewhere and at some time told them that they’re supposed to have it is also a possible reason for their behavior as well; does it make sense to be told to fear a homosexual man when no homosexual has given you an actual reason to be afraid of them?  I’ve come to understand that for some folks, homophobia and biphobia are irrational fears – they’re afraid without really understanding why they are, i.e., no homosexual or bisexual has done anything to them (or tried to) in order to instill this fear into themselves.  Some do have a reason… but then you see that unbelievable mindset that if one homosexual/bisexual is bad, all of them are bad and this perception is held onto and the truth is summarily ignored.  Even if you can get them to agree that, no way, all homosexuals/bisexuals aren’t bad, they will continue to believe that they are… and you just gotta ask yourself why.

I don’t get offended anymore because it doesn’t make sense for me to get offended and more so when I’ve learned, from my many confrontations in this, that the folks pitching a bitch against bisexuality really don’t know what they’re talking about.  They think they have all the facts and there’s just no way that they could and, perhaps, it’s just easier for them to look at homosexuals/bisexuals as the boogeyman and instead of confronting their fears and conquering them, they choose to run away and remain frightened.

I’ve had to bear witness to this and it’s a damned ugly thing to witness and it’s just amazing that despite all of the information available today, this fear continues to persist and to the point that, today, there are so many people suffering from this phobia that they’re in total denial that bisexuals even exist in the first place, holding onto their fears about this even though the facts say otherwise.  And, get this:  They say we’re the ones with and causing the problem?

 
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Posted by on 8 April 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Modern Bisexuality?

https://haveigotnewsforyouth.wordpress.com/2015/01/21/the-b-in-lgbtqia/

I don’t know who Jack Emberson is but when I ran across the abovementioned blog just a little while ago, I gave it a read… and was once again shaking my head over bisexual erasure and the things some pundits are saying about it.  I think about whatever prejudice I’ve faced due to my sexuality and what I’ve heard growing up and while bisexuals would wind up being “ridiculed” for being a switch-hitter or playing for both teams, I can’t honestly say that I ever heard anyone tell a bisexual that they weren’t bisexual… but I have heard this told to folks who said they were gay so, in my mind, the “game” hasn’t changed… but the “players” have.

The thing that gets me about this is that it’s pretty much a rehash of the stuff I’ve previously read, pointing to celebrities who have come out as bisexual, like Lady Gaga, but they also say she’s just playing at being a lesbian and that pisses off the real lesbians, so on and so forth.  Mr. Emberson once again quotes the potential for severe depression, suicide or otherwise harming one’s self, and domestic violence as contributors to the bane of being bisexual and, yep, I saw this stuff on BiNet USA which is the oldest organization for bisexuals and I thought, once again, okay… but what bisexuals are they talking about?

Of course, I’ve read from bisexuals here on WordPress that they’ve been told the usual bullshit, you know, that they’re not really bisexual, going through a phase, or other such things that someone will utter when trying to tell a bisexual that they’re not bisexual or they can’t be bisexual because they don’t want them to be bisexual… and I wonder how some straight person would feel if a bisexual were to turn around and tell them that they’re not straight and that they shouldn’t be?  That would be an interesting argument…

I get it, though; it doesn’t take having a PhD in  some social science to understand that people are predominantly straight because that’s the way they’re supposed to be – and for whatever reasons they might point to and you don’t have to be a super genius to know what they are.  Since the majority is straight, then anyone who isn’t is in the minority and, as such, subject to ridicule because they’re not straight like everyone is “supposed to be.”  It doesn’t take much to understand that human beings have always behaved like this, you know, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!” so to see this behavior continue to persist with regards to sexuality shouldn’t be all that surprising.  It’s silly and more so since, as I’ve pointed out at times, homosexuality and bisexuality have been around for a very long time and was, at one point, very acceptable behavior but, of course, somewhere along the line, something changed and not for the better.  Soon homosexuals and bisexuals were seen as being mentally ill – somewhere around the Victorian Age if I remember correctly – and even something as natural as masturbation was seen as aberrant behavior that had to be treated as a mental illness… and the campaign to squash homosexuality (primarily) was on big time.

In my youth, homosexuals caught all kinds of hell and, yeah, any bisexuals who were discovered – and at least in my environment – were teased about going both ways and, at times, tagged as being gay until, of course, the fight broke out and that always seemed to settle that particular issue.  As I got older, I ran across more and more people who I’d say weren’t pathologically homophobic but they were against homosexuals and bisexuals and were of the mind that as long as they didn’t mess with them, it was all good.  I’ve run across women, in particular, who would pitch a bitch about it, being totally against any guy who was bi and as far as women who weren’t straight went, the mantra was, “Ain’t shit a woman can do for me!  I’m strickly dickly!”  These people I ran into in my travels never said that homosexuality/bisexuality didn’t exist – they simply didn’t  have any truck with it and as long as a gay or bi person didn’t proposition them, no problem existed.

Mr. Emberson says that this erasure thing is important, that it has to be paid attention to and that these embattled bisexuals need more social support than what they’re getting or what’s available which, of course, points to a great fallacy with why the LGBTQ community exists in the first place… but we also know where the focal point of bi erasure and biphobia is… in the LGBTQ community itself.  Sure, there are straight people on the bi erasure bandwagon… but they’ve always been passengers because they don’t make much of a distinction between homosexuality and bisexuality; to them, it’s all the same even when presented with facts that, nope, they ain’t even close to being the same.   But here’s the thing I keep coming back to:  What is the point in trying to erase bisexuality or otherwise debunk it when (a) it’s always been around and (b) nothing anyone can say or do is going to erase it?

It’s serious because there are a lot of bisexuals who believe that they’re being erased in some form or another, that this ongoing prejudice against anyone who isn’t straight – and now, gay – is going to have a very serious impact on their lives.  Don’t get me wrong – there is some impact, like getting dissed by family, friends, and potential mates and this can cause some serious emotional issues for some… but not for everyone who is bisexual.  It is, however, easier to point out all the bad things about bisexuality because, um, to highlight the good things defeats the purpose of trying to slam bisexuals and in the same way homosexuals were slammed (and continue to be slammed).

I keep saying that despite all this erasure crap, I cannot be erased; I just don’t see how it’s possible.  Yep, the haters can bring a lot of social pressure against bisexuals, can do or say whatever they feel is necessary to keep bisexuality in a “very bad” light… and all this shit is going to do is confirm to a lot of bisexuals that they made the right decision to fly under the radar because if they don’t know you’re bisexual, they can’t fuck with you.  And, yes, there are bisexuals like me who say, “Come on and fuck with me… I dare you… and then find out what’s gonna happen when you do, okay?”  They say this shit is real and, sadly, it is but, realistically, it can only fuck with you if you allow it to and more so when you realize and believe that the haters are trying to eliminate a facet of human behavior that cannot be eliminated.  They tried doing this shit with homosexuals… and they totally and utterly failed to erase homosexuality, didn’t they?  Oh, yeah, they made shit hard for homosexuals and, in some quarters, it’s still very hard; to that end, yep, I can see why there are homosexuals who are totally pissed off with bisexuals because we don’t have to deal with the shit they’ve had to put up with and for as long as I’ve been around (and before that).  So, yup, we’re now straight-acting phonies; we need to stand up and be identified or otherwise be made to share their pain… and when we refuse to do this, well, aren’t we the worst and most fake motherfuckers that ever lived?

Male bisexuals are much worst than female bisexuals since we’re the greatest disease vector since Typhoid Mary and the ladies, well, they’re just fake-assed lesbian wannabes or floozies faking at bisexuality as part of their man trapping MO.  They hate on bisexuals because we’re not really like them and so it seems as if their “mantra” is, “If you can’t beat them, erase them!”  And while here in the US there are laws on the books in every state against homosexual behavior, they’re either being changed or set aside as being unenforceable, like the laws against sodomy and even oral sex in some states and, as we’ve been hearing and reading, the laws against homosexuals marrying and being parents, etc., are being overturned.  Globally, wow, in some places in the world, if you ain’t straight, you’re gonna be dead or incarcerated until you’re dead so as a bisexual, I’m damned glad I don’t live, say, in certain parts of Africa.  I understand that other than culturally in some places, the laws against homosexuality – and I’m sure bisexuality is included as a matter of course – exist to cut down the spread of HIV/AIDS and this probably isn’t a bad thing except maybe how they’re going about it, which is pretty fucked up in our Western way of thinking.

And despite all or any of this, there are still people who aren’t straight and unless someone is planning a very serious act of genocide against all those who aren’t straight, um, you just cannot erase human nature.  You can try to correct it, put things in place that attempt to prevent humans acting like humans, and even threaten and consign their souls to whatever hell or purgatory may exist… and bisexuals will continue to exist even if/when we’re “forced” to go back underground due to mass social insanity about this aspect of human sexuality.

Some time ago – and I don’t remember exactly when – I was told that I don’t understand this whole erasure crisis and that I didn’t see the clear and present danger to my being bisexual.  But I do understand it – well, as best I can, anyway – and I understand it enough for me, as a male bisexual, to say that you can try to erase my sexuality… and good luck with that because they can apply all the social pressure they can bring to bear and none of it will stop me from being bisexual.  This erasure shit just isn’t a threat to my existence and, yes, I understand that there are other bisexuals who may feel the pressure or are succumbing to the threats that are out there… and I’ve said all of this to say to those bisexuals:  Don’t buy into this shit and don’t let it tear you down!  If you believe that they can erase you and this is worrying you, well, maybe it’s just my opinion but being made to worry about this is a lot worse than actually being bisexual, isn’t it?  I mean, how the fuck are they gonna tell me that I don’t exist as a bisexual when I know good and damned well that I do?  You wanna get pissy because I’m capable of having a good and normal heterosexual relationship with a woman even though (for me) I’d suck a man’s  balls dry if given the opportunity – and then say I have some “straight privilege” and all because if you’re homosexual, um, nope, you can’t do what’s natural for me to do… but you can fake it… oh, wait a minute!  Isn’t that what you’re accusing bisexuals of doing?

Am I the only one who see the futility in any of this erasure shit?  Sure, it’s doing a number on a lot of bisexuals because, I dunno, maybe they’re more concerned with how people will judge them than they are believing in themselves?  Okay… there are people around me who’d look at my sexuality in a bad way, just like there are people around me who look at the color of my skin and long for the “good old days” when they felt justified in putting a rope around my neck and/or declaring with their moral “certainty” that I wasn’t really a human being and no better than, say, a farm animal.  Now, I grew up with this particular prejudice and I survived it albeit with a few black eyes, skinned knuckles, and realizing my ability to run really fast… and, so far, I’ve survived all the angst I’ve personally encountered about my sexuality albeit losing some friends and potential partners/lovers along the way.  And despite today’s push to erase bisexuals, I’m still very much bisexual and I’d even admit that a lot of my attitude and thinking about this shit is because of how long I’ve been bisexual.  I know I’ve been around long enough to see our society (in particular) utterly fail to erase homosexuality from the human condition so, yeah, maybe it’s just me, but I’m quite sure that our society is going to utterly fail to erase bisexuality.

Maybe it’s a conceit on my part for me to believe that the only way I can be erased due to my sexuality is if I allow it to be done… and homey don’t play that shit.  Maybe it’s because I’m now of an age where I kinda/sorta don’t give a fuck about what people might say because I’m bisexual.  Oh, yeah, I’m very much aware of what they might do about it – remember, I grew up in a time where homosexuals were killed for not being straight… but while I am aware of this aspect – and I’d be some kind of an idiot if I weren’t aware – up until something violent actually happens, um, I’m still bisexual; if I survive it – and I sure as hell am going to try to – I will still be bisexual.  Someone can get in all up in my grill about being bisexual and fuss until they get hoarse and short of breath… and none of what they could say is going to change the fact that I’m bisexual and if these biphobic folks believe that it can be done, hmm, wouldn’t they be the ones more in denial about shit than any bisexual could be because they’re trying to say that something doesn’t exist when it’s pretty fucking obvious that it does.

Once upon a time, people thought the world was flat, didn’t they?

Someone commented to me recently that I’m ignoring the plight of bisexuals and I guess they said that because you wouldn’t see me at an LGBTQ rally and I have this “habit” of pointing out just how fucking stupid all this shit is and how I’m not allowing any of it to fuck with me.  Ah, but if I were truly ignoring this, um, I wouldn’t be writing about it; I wouldn’t comment on the blogs of others about how I see this situation and I sure as hell wouldn’t be asking about the root cause of this because, I dunno, maybe it’s just me again but in any of this, it isn’t what they’re saying – it’s why they’re saying it. I’m no Wile E. Coyote but it’s not really that difficult to figure out why this is happening… I’m just the bisexual motherfucker that’s saying it doesn’t make any damned sense for it to still be happening and that all the prejudice that was once “owned” by homosexuals is now being pushed onto bisexuals and, yeah, there are homosexuals that are helping to push their ever-present problems onto bisexuals because we have the audacity to not be gay like they are… but we’re also not as straight as the dyed-in-the-wool heterosexuals think we should be.

So, to bring this to a close, how does a bisexual keep from being erased?  By believing in yourself more than believing in those who say that you can’t be what you know yourself to be and, yes, even if you’ve never had the sex that’s possible. See, I believe in myself and, yeah, even supremely so, because I have no reason to doubt or question whether or not I am bisexual by definition or deed and as long as I continue to believe in myself, I cannot be erased by mere words alone.  I’m not saying this erasure shit ain’t real; I’m not ignoring my fellow bisexuals by remaining silent but I can tell you that I am not going to allow my rather wonderful (and problematic) sexuality be erased because, on the real, if straight folks can firmly believe in being straight and gay folks are they same way, then I can firmly believe in my bisexuality.

My fellow bisexuals, male or female:  Do you believe in yourself?  If you don’t, you should and if you do believe, how can you be erased?

 
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Posted by on 25 January 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Angst

I can often hear “Hulk Hogan” saying, “Whatcha gonna do brother when biphobia runs wild on you!” whenever I see shit about the angst toward bisexuals.  I’ve gotten into some interesting discussions with a few people about biphobia and it just fucking amazes me how so many people are worried about it and making such a big deal.  For the record, yeah, this stupidity exists and has the potential to be far-reaching and damaging to bisexuals whether they’re out or not and while I’ve taken the personal stance that I’m not going to sweat the dumb shit on this, I wonder why so many bisexuals are sweating it and, importantly, I wonder why it exists in the first damned place.

Humans have a terrible history of hating on anything that’s different from them; we’ve seen this where race is concerned, where religious beliefs and politics are concerned; I’ve seen some fucked up shit between neighborhoods in the same part of town and, yes, I’ve been more than aware of the rage against homosexuality.  But I know that while we are slow to change, we eventually do change; not everyone does – that would be too much like right – but at high levels, yeah, change is happening and just when you think that we’ve gotten closer to the demise of homophobia, along comes biphobia and, um, what the fuck is this all about?

You don’t really have to be an expert in social sciences or anything like that to realize that trying to erase bisexuality and treat it as if it never existed is just… silly because you’re really trying to put the kibosh on a part of human nature that’s been around for God knows how long.  I’ve read a lot of shit about why people think bisexuals aren’t real and I keep saying to myself, “Are they serious?” and despite all of the shit I’ve read to date, it just doesn’t make sense and more so when I know without any doubt that as a bisexual, yep, I exist – duh.  What I’ve been able to learn from this is that we – bisexuals – are now being raged against in almost the same way gays were by telling us that we’re in denial about being totally gay, that we’re a clear and present danger to pretty much everything, and other things that, at least in my opinion, are borne more out of fear than cold hard facts.

I wonder just how the fuck biphobia can have such a terrible impact on a bisexual if no one knows that they’re bisexual (or very few people know it)?  Yeah, I can see how a budding bisexual can be worried about all the shit being said against bisexuals because it makes them question themselves and gives them cause to worry about the social impacts of being discovered as bisexual and it just does not make sense to buy into the illogical premise that bisexuals (and bisexuality) don’t exist and that we’re the new problem child in society.  This ain’t like racial discrimination because, duh, bisexuality isn’t as obvious as the color of one’s skin and we know that bisexuals come in every flavor possible; the fact that bisexuals aren’t all out and flaunting their sexuality differences – something that biphobia bitches about – is something I think works in our favor because, fucking duh, they can’t fuck with you about being bisexual if they don’t know you’re bisexual.  And, no, I’m not talking about remaining below the radar out of fear of biphobic reactions, either… but if there are people wondering why bisexuals are not all out in the open, well, now you know why we’d rather not be out in the open.

Someone said to me that the LGBTQ community needs to do more for bisexuals and I agree that they do… except there’s a segment of this community that is fostering and fomenting biphobia and, according to other bloggers who’ve written about this, pretty much ignoring bisexual issues in favor of the more important gay and lesbian issues still on the table.  I’ve read where a blogger wrote that bisexuals need their own community, one separate from the LGBTQ parent, so that we can better help each other and work together to kick biphobia to the curb because, again, The Community just ain’t been doing their duty and championing all of us who aren’t straight.  They’re a house divided, a dysfunctional family…

A blogger was kinda busting my ass for “ignoring” biphobia and, no, I don’t ignore it – I just don’t buy into any of the premises of biphobia.  While I’ve heard too many personal opinions about my sexuality, being bisexual has had zero impact on me at the social levels; I’ve never been denied a job or anything like that because I’m bisexual and, really, at those levels, it’s none of their fucking business how I like to get my freak on.  Yet, I “see” bisexuals freaking out over what’s being said and I guess they’re of the mind that if enough people say that bisexuality ain’t real and pitch a bitch about it, it’s going to somehow be removed from reality…

Really?  Does anyone really believe that such a thing is even possible and more so since “they” tried to eradicate homosexuality… and have totally and utterly failed to make it non-existent?  This far-flung smear campaign reflects a growing dislike for a segment of the sexuality tree that upsets the current status quo and seems to be predicated on the “fact” that people are either straight or gay… and I’d like to know what they’ve been smoking if they believe this to be true.  I find it kinda crazy for biphobics to be ranting and raving against something that they say doesn’t exist in the first place and, of course, this is all being spread by people who aren’t bisexual so their lack of understanding about being bisexual becomes evident when you look at all the stereotypical shit flying around.  Now, okay, uh-uh, even I will admit that there’s some truth mixed in with the bullshit but being the creatures we are, it’s easier to lay down a blanket condemnation than it is to point to specific individual behaviors – if one acts like this, they all act like this; if one is bad, they’re all bad.

And if you think this is a really dumb way to behave, let the church say, “Amen!”  Biphobia makes me roll my eyes a lot and makes me ask the biphobics a good question:  “What are you afraid of?”

I ain’t saying this shit ain’t real – I’m saying this shit doesn’t make any fucking sense.  It’s my opinion and all that… but as a bisexual, this shit can only fuck with me if I allow it to fuck with me and I don’t know about other bisexuals but I have better things to worry about…

 
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Posted by on 30 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Overlooking the Obvious

I sit and watch/read bisexuality being attacked; I’m aware of pretty much all of the negativity supplied by the stereotypes attached to being bisexual and the smear campaign currently in progress that seeks to invalidate bisexuality as a “valid” sexual orientation… and it all makes me scratch my head and wonder why the obvious is being overlooked here.  So here we go…

If we can  admit that heterosexuality is real and if we’ve gotten around to believing that homosexuality is real, why is it so hard to believe that bisexuality is real?  Sexuality is a part of the human condition and, fuck, no, I’m bypassing all that morality stuff for the moment and I might get to it somewhere in this writing but for now, um, yeah, if people can be straight or gay, logic says that there is a middle ground here… except there are a lot of people who, for some reason, can’t see this middle ground or refuses to accept that it does exist.

Now… morality.  As we know and understand this, if you’re not straight you’re about as wrong as it gets and, yes, there’s a reason why this is the preferred and mandated way to be and if you don’t know it by now, well, uh, where have you been?  We understand that morality is a social construct that, in essence, wants everyone to be a certain way, to do things in a certain way, and seeks to eliminate, neutralize, and denigrate any behavior that ‘violates’ the construct of morality, like being bisexual or homosexual.  So if you understand that many people are taught that this is true and should always be true, it’s not hard to figure out why some folks behave the way they do regarding bisexuality and homosexuality and in the face of the evidence that clearly says that not everyone is straight or even wants to be straight.  Ah, but some of these same people can grudgingly admit that, okay, there are homosexuals; they may not particularly like the fact that there are homosexuals but, yep, they’re out there and, as a lot of us know, homosexuals caught all kinds of hell for being homosexual; indeed, quite a few people caught hell for simply being suspected of being homosexual – and they never were.

Despite the battle to invalidate homosexuality – remember, it was once on the list of mental illnesses and there are those who still think it can be cured – yep, those gay folks are still here and their numbers are increasing and those folks who started this war against homosexuals are slowly but surely losing as homosexuality gains more acceptance.  Enter the bisexual, that sexuality entity that, really, not a lot is known about (supposedly) because, unlike gay folks, bisexuality aren’t all that easy to “see” but they now make an inviting target, not only by those folks who believe that straight is the only way to be but by some gay folks who, for who knows what reason, that bisexuals are in such great denial about being either straight or gay (but preferably gay).

Obviously, there are those who are allowing their interpretations of what’s moral to make them overlook the obvious; we, as a species, just can’t seem to get away from the “us versus them” behavior we’ve displayed since people were seen to be different (whenever the fuck that happened in our rather checkered history).  We let these… prejudices blind us to that which is obvious, from the color of one’s skin to religious beliefs and, yeah, how someone chooses to handle their sexual and emotional needs.  Logically, it doesn’t make sense but biphobia isn’t what I’d call logic-friendly; it’s an emotional response that, when expressed, sounds logical but has few basis in cold, hard fact and what facts are present are pretty much negative.  Phobias are described as irrational fears; I’m not saying that I believe that phobias aren’t real by the people perceiving them – I’m just pointing out something, ah, obvious about phobias that was defined and established by people a hell of a lot smarter than I am.  So if biphobia is a fear, um, exactly what are the people experiencing it (or trying to foster it) afraid of?

It’s been my opinion here lately that those folks being consumed by biphobia are afraid that their view of life and the world we live in is being threatened or, if I may say, being proven that what they so firmly believe in isn’t as accurate as they’ve been led to believe.  And the truth is that their perception of the way things are supposed to be is inaccurate and one could say that their perception is an outright lie because, uh, obviously, their way isn’t the only way and, keeping in character as the human animal we all are, well, they ain’t too happy about it and are resisting strongly.  Those immersed in biphobia believe that their arguments against bisexuals is a logical one… but it really isn’t when you understand that phobias are irrational fears – and fear is an emotion.  There are those who actually believe that homosexuality is contagious, like, shaking hands with a homosexual could transfer this sexual behavior to someone and, no, I’m not exaggerating this or bullshitting you – someone actually told me this when voicing their dislike of homosexuals and I’ve heard this one more than once.  But we know that it isn’t contagious; bisexuality and homosexuality isn’t a disease one can catch like a cold or the flu… but we also know that people can, have, and will change their minds about what branch of the sexuality tree works best for them.

I get that bisexuality upsets what’s considered to be the norm these days and because we’re neither straight or gay; it does a number on the black-and-whiteness of our slightly revised morality because in this school of thought, there are no gray areas – there can’t be any gray areas even though some noted scientists way back around the time I was born produced a ground-breaking document that has a well-known graphic in it that, by its very existence, proves that there is a gray area – we know it as the Kinsey Report.  Now, I’ve read that some folks are saying that this report is no longer valid or accurate, just as there are still factions that insist that the Kinsey Report was never valid or accurate… but this strikes me as being kinda silly in the face of the fact that, duh, not everyone is totally and completely straight.  We might need science to straighten it all out but we don’t need science to know that there are a lot of people on this planet who are not straight and prefer not to be.

If heterosexuality exists and homosexuality exist, it just makes sense that bisexuality exists… doesn’t it?  Now, whether it’s seen as being right or wrong isn’t really the issue; what is at issue is that, er, it’s obvious that bisexuals exist and why someone is bisexual doesn’t really matter at the high level of thought.  Once upon a time, homosexuality really and truly upset the moral apple cart… and now bisexuals are seen as upsetting it as well.  There are those who see homosexuality and bisexuality as a great decline in our moral standings, that there are a lot of moral compasses that aren’t pointing north as they “should” be.  Religion, which plays a huge role in morality, makes it clear that anyone who isn’t straight is pretty much going to burn in hell for their sins and there are still religions around the world that say the penalty for not being straight is death – and you will be put to death so you can then burn in hell.  One can think of this of literally being “scared straight,” huh?  Yet, despite these dire portents and threats to one’s life, there are still many people from all walks of life who aren’t straight and prefer not to be.

This isn’t about what’s considered to be right or wrong; this is asking whether or not it makes sense to behave in such a fashion.  This asks why there are people who cannot accept what is painfully and clearly obvious – and then asks that if you have a case of biphobia, what are you afraid of?  This asks why there are homosexuals – and people you’d think would understand why bisexuals are different since homosexuals are different – who are going out of their way to give bisexuality and bisexuals a black eye – where’s the logic in any of this?  This questions “being moral” and whether or not there are people who believe that homosexuals and bisexuals “own” being immoral… and more so when straight people can be just as immoral in their sexual behaviors – so what are they saying here?  Are they saying that being straight and immoral is okay… but being bi or gay isn’t?  Double standards never made sense to begin with and if this is yet another one of those damned things, does this one make sense?

What is obvious and overlooked is that in any of this, we’re just being human, just like the phobias against anyone who isn’t straight is us being human.  Morality aside, there is a certain logic to all of this but with biphobia dropping shit all over the place, the logic just isn’t seen or accepted and one’s perception of that which is deemed as being moral can play into this oversight.  Again, this isn’t a debate on being moral – this is about the logic of things and wonders, questions, whatever, why we – generally, I suppose – get biphobic and if it makes any sense to let our fears make us foolish.

 
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Posted by on 12 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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