I was just reading something another WordPress blogger wrote about biphobia and one of the things I’ve noticed about this – and since I’ve been bisexual for a very long time now – is that this biphobic rhetoric resembles the same bullshit that was being said about homosexuals and almost verbatim except they’ve added the “fact” that being bisexual is just a stopping off point on the route of being homosexual.
What I know – and what the folks who are freaking out about this trash talking don’t know – is that this “phobia” has always been around and all they’ve done is change the target of their ire and, again, I have the advantage of having already heard of all this shit before, from “you’re just going through a phase” to “you’re really gay – so why don’t you just admit it” so I know that what’s really going on isn’t the fact that I might be in denial about my sexuality: It’s that they’re in denial about the real fact that despite what they’ve been told, what they believe, or what they think, yes, there are people who aren’t straight or gay.
That bisexuals get upset about this is actually understandable because no one likes to be called something that they know they aren’t. I seem to remember getting into a discussion about this with someone some time ago and they were insisting that not only is biphobia real but I should be seriously concerned about it and society’s attempts to erase bisexuals; I recall giving them a “LMAO” and saying that I don’t understand why I should be all that worried about something that cannot be done and, being a student of history, if society tried to erase homosexuals and that didn’t work, how can they even think and/or believe that mere words are going to erase bisexuals? They came back and said that because I wasn’t buying into this “threat,” I was adding to the problems of biphobia and bi-erasure… but when I asked them to explain this, they declined to do so.
But, you see, I was talking to someone who didn’t know that this “phobia” and “erasure” shit has been around for centuries – it’s not a new thing; they just took the rhetoric that pertained to homosexuals and applied it to bisexuals so while many people see this as being new, to me – and other bisexuals from my era – this is the same old shit wrapped in a different package. Still, it comes down to the matter of what you, the bisexual, is going to believe: What you know about yourself… or something that’s basically someone’s opinion on something that they don’t know a damned thing about? And then one must consider the source of this which, as far as I’ve been able to investigate, is coming from gay folks more than straight folks – and, yes, there are straight folks who believe that people should only be straight (because the bible says so) or they should be either straight or gay.
People say this and there are bisexuals all over the world saying, “Really?” This is a case of just because you think/believe this is true doesn’t mean that it is true, like an ongoing theme I’ve been seeing that says that straight men are in denial about their homosexual desires… and this theme is being pushed by homosexual men who seem to have the hots for straight men for some reason I’ve not seen them really explain. What seems to be going on with this particular thing is that they’re taking a bit of scientific fact – some straight men do think about playing with a dick, even if they don’t do it consistently or as a matter of course – and then putting a huge spin on it and, get this, some gay men are telling straight men the same thing they say to bisexual men, i.e., you should stop being a fake and admit that you’re really gay like we are.
Once upon a time, humans thought that the world was flat and if you sailed too close to the edge, you were gonna fall off; once upon a time, humans believed that the Earth was the center of the solar system and everything else revolved around it. There’s a lot of shit that we used to believe that we no longer believe, right? Except when it comes to sexuality and it’s totally fucking insane to keep believing that homosexuals and bisexuals don’t exist when they’ve always existed. I know that some keep believing this because they want to believe it and for their own peace of mind, they have to believe it; otherwise, they face the very daunting task of completely revising their view of the world to include the fact that there are, indeed, men and women who enjoying having sex with other men and women. There are those who believe that bisexuals do exist (yay!) but it’s conditional: It’s men or women because accepting that it’s men and women is just wrong, being greedy – you know what’s being said.
The bottom line, like it or not, is that this crap is opinion, not fact. I’ve had this conversation with a whole lot of people over a great many years and it’s just funny to see how they react when you tell them that sexuality isn’t static and that people do, in fact, change their minds about their sexuality and for whatever reason makes sense to them. They’ll say, “I don’t know why anyone would want to make such a change…” and even when I’ve explain the many reasons why people would do just that, something curious happens: They agree that what I’ve told them does make sense… but they still don’t believe it. For instance, I was talking to Cityman about this one day and he was telling me that a gay friend of his was giving him a load of shit about being bisexual and that he should pick a side and stay there and he didn’t see the attraction of having sex with women. Cityman told him, basically, if you really wanna know, go have sex with a woman and the gay man almost had a stroke and insisted that he could never change his mind about his sexual preference.
But that’s a lie; sure, we’re expected to pick a side… but who says you can’t change your mind if you have a reason to? Cityman told this gay man about another gay man he knows who has sex with women on occasion… and Cityman was told that this was impossible and I know the only reason why the guy said this is that he believes it’s impossible. Lesbians have been known to actually have sex with men, even if for the purpose of getting pregnant, given that the costs of IVF can be pretty damned expensive and these women who want to be mothers are usually branded as traitors to the lesbian cause… because it’s believed that a woman who loves women would never, ever, have a reason to want to be screwed by a guy.
So when you take in all of this (and a lot more), it’s easier to refute bisexuality than it is to accept the fact that there are bisexuals and that all of the shit being said against bisexuals is, at best, stereotypical claptrap and, again, a matter of opinion more than true facts. I always tell the people who run around spreading biphobia that if you really wanna know what this is about, ask a bisexual… and many just won’t do that because it would invalidate everything they believe about this. I mean, seriously, do you really believe that if you masturbate, you’re gonna go blind? If you don’t believe this, um, why you would you believe that there’s no such animal as a bisexual human being? And then there’s this:
If bisexuals don’t really exist and all that shit, um, what are y’all pitching a bitch about? Think about this one for a moment…