I take my daily trip to the bi guy forum to see what the guys are talking and asking about and during today’s visit, I was reminded of how many guys on this site are, as the title of this scribble says, chomping at the bit but are still at the gate and unsure how to get out of said gate. A lot of these guys ask what I’d call good questions, like, what does it feel like to suck a dick or what does it feel like to get screwed? They ask if it’s better to give than receive and, recently, whether or not men are better at sucking cock than women (and why).
I see a lot of guys respond to various topics with variations of, “I haven’t done anything yet but I really want to!” and someone invariably asks the question, “What are you waiting for?” – and the answer to this one seems to be automatic with those who’ve yet to take that initial plunge or those who are returning to the fold after a long absence: They’re married and don’t want to cheat, looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now, afraid of being outed, afraid of catching something, and even saying that as far as they know, there are no other bi guys in their area… but they’re not really looking.
One thing that makes me frown a lot are those guys who haven’t done a thing in this arena developing preconceived notions and, for the most part, based on word of mouth stuff and from guys who have no actual experience themselves. A lot of these guys watch gay porn and it’s always been my opinion that, in this, gay porn is a poor teaching tool. Like, one guy asked today if it’s better to have a guy’s cock in your mouth when he cums… or is it better for him to aim at your mouth and shoot from there… and my eyes rolled before I was even aware of what they were doing. A few respondents pointed out – and correctly so – that aiming at the mouth in the happy moment is all for show – the infamous money shot porn almost has to make more visible to prove that someone busting a nut isn’t faked (even though sometimes it is). One guy commented, “What about condoms?” – and someone replied that if the guy you’re sucking is using a condom, um, you’re not gonna get a mouthful of sperm. What he didn’t say is the thing one can see in porn – the guy strapped up is handling his business, gets to happy time, rips off the condom and lets it fly, gives the other person a facial, deposits their load onto a waiting tongue, stuff like that…. which, of course, defeats the whole safe sex purpose of wearing the condom in the first place, doesn’t it?
The thing that got me was the number of guys who responded by saying that even though they’ve never sucked a dick, it’s better to have the dick in your mouth when the other guy cums… and I asked my coffee cup, “If they’ve never done it, how would they know?”
Seems like a dumb question, doesn’t it? The obvious answer is that if you watch porn, well, you can see it… sometimes… but what these guys don’t get is that not only is sucking a cock (and some of those huge monsters seen in porn) not as easy as it looks, neither is taking a load of sperm but, yeah, it sure does look hot and exciting on whatever screen one uses to view such things, doesn’t it? One guy said that he hasn’t sucked cock yet but he wouldn’t mind getting a facial… and a couple of guys who have gotten a facial said that it’s all fun and games until you get spunk in your eyes or, worse, getting shot in the face and wind up with sperm in your nose because you breathed in at the most wrong time.
Now, using one’s imagination isn’t a bad thing and there’s a school of thought that says that if you can imagine a thing, you can do a thing… but I see so many guys on this site chomping at the bit and they have no idea what they’re getting themselves into or, accurately, what it is they want to get themselves into. Indeed, some guys are stuck at the gate because they realize that they have no idea what it’ll be like, which plays into the whole thing of theory being all fine and dandy but practical application is a horse of another color. They understand this and it makes them hesitant to storm out of the gate; one guy wrote that he was hesitant to give a guy a blow job… because he was afraid he was gonna like it.
Does that sound a bit nutty? Perhaps… but it is a valid concern with some of these guys because if they suck a cock for that first time and find that it’s even more fun than they could have imagined, well, that’s a problem because it says something about them that they might not really want to admit to themselves. One guy started a topic about deep throating big dicks and along the lines of is it hard to do and does it make your throat hurt. Someone commented that to be able to do this takes a lot of practice and it can make your jaws hurt… but no one pointed out the potential danger in this or how one’s natural gag reflex can kick in and make eating all of a huge dick, ah, interesting and more so if one had the misfortune of having a full stomach before attempting the sword-swallowing trick. Again, if you watch porn, you can see how easy some “models” do it… and how many “models” come really close to having their last meal pay them a visit.
A lot of guys chomp at the bit and the only thing keeping them from turning their fantasies into reality is finding guys with ginormous cocks because they’ve somehow managed to convince themselves that guys with average sized cocks are incapable of giving them the pleasure they seek and the biggest thing I see on a daily basis are all the guys who have the bit in their mouth but remain at the gate because they make this more difficult than it really is. They have an aversion to casual sex and, strangely, it’s the single guys who take issue with hook-up sex and will pass up willing guys in favor of a more relationship-sex kind of thing. I keep seeing guys asking why it’s so hard to find another guy to have sex with and all they have to do is look at the conditions they’ve put in place and answer their own question and I’ve even asked them why it is that they go out of their way to make something they want to do almost impossible to do.
Visiting this site is rather educational. I get to keep learning the things that keep guys chomping at the bit while locking themselves into the gate. People tend to focus on what two guys do with each other and assume that if “Pete” wanted to have sex with a man, well, he’s just gonna rush out there and do it and with reckless abandon… when the truth is quite different. I don’t doubt that the “virgins” on this site very much want to suck cock and find out whether men suck dick better than women do; I’m sure they really do want to find out whether taking a hard cock in the ass is going to feel as good – or hurt as much – as they’ve been told or have imagined. But as long as they keep creating reasons for staying at the gate, well, they’re just gonna be stuck, aren’t they? The guys at the gate who cite safety as their main reason for remaining a virgin in these things do, in fact, make a very good point because who really wants to catch something? But even as I’ve pointed out to them, um, that’s what they make condoms for, isn’t it? If you use them religiously – and even when giving/receiving head – well, it’s been proven to eliminate the chance of getting infected by anything.
What makes me shake my head with great sadness are the number of men who not only know this but understand it… and they remain at the gate, chomping at the bit just the same…