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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  Time is the Enemy

When it comes to bisexuality in anyone, there are lots of things that can be perceived as being an enemy, like public opinion, for example, but quite often the enemy is time, as in finding the time to indulge yourself and having enough time to get it done.

It takes time to find someone suitable and to find a suitable locale; it takes time to become aroused, takes time to reach full erection, takes time to reach one’s ejaculation moment and yet, at least among men, there are those who know they don’t have enough time to get it all done but try to do it anyway – and then find themselves somewhat displeased at the results.

What spurred this thought?  I was cleaning the junk out of Tumblr and once that was done, the first item was a guy standing in what had to be the handicap stall in a men’s room; he pulls out his cock and is soon joined by another man who also whips his dick out and now the two of them are furiously yanking on their dicks in an obvious rush to bust that nut.

These guys are obviously in a hurry and their body language said as much to me because there’s a risk that someone will hit the head and notice that, hey, there are two pairs of feet in that stall!  It’s not that it’s unusual that guys will go to the men’s room to get off but because there’s a rush to do that, then expected result is almost bound to be delayed because you’re trying too hard to hurry up.

In casual hookups, there are times when there’s not a lot of time to do a thing; maybe someone has to get back to work or get back home before a wife or girlfriend realizes they’re gone or they have to hurry up and beat the place they told their woman they’d be and, yep, some guys want to rush to the end of the story because they’re worried that someone they know will see them entering or leaving an area they’re not known to frequent.

And I’ve often wondered why we do this to ourselves and more so since this lends itself to the stigma that we are indiscriminate and prone to acting without thinking.  It also lends itself to a certain level of dissatisfaction just because we might not want to (or be able to) devote a broader amount of time to, say, give a more thorough blow job.  Sure, ya might manage to bust a nut in record time… but was rushing really worth it?

I know we can be very opportunistic – it’s just the nature of being male and since it’s not always easy for bi guys to identify each other, if you get a chance to get some dick, you take it… even if you really don’t have the time to really enjoy the moment.  Back to the two guys in the handicap stall…

The guy seen in the opening of the clip is displaying frantic body language and he’s even gesturing to the other guy in a hurry up fashion. The second guy is trying to stretch the moment out, alternating between furiously jerking his dick and letting it go for long seconds before resuming.  Dude #1 busts first but Dude #2 is still pulling and stopping… and Dude #1’s body language indicates that he’s not happy about this as he shakes some sperm from his fingers and then points to Dude #2’s cock.

Dude #2 finally busts his nut and the clip ends but the body language of both men just before it ends displayed some dissatisfaction and I thought, “Was that really worth it?”  Sometimes, the pressure to perform isn’t about technique ormeven endurance but a matter of time, as in being in a rush and that sense of impatience that can make a sexual act less glorious than expected.

I get that there’s a certain kind of rush at play here and anyone who has ever had sex “publicly” knows just how naughty it is and the greater the risk of getting busted in the act, the greater the rush… but time is still the enemy not just because a sexualmact takes time to begin and end but there’s the mental pressure of knowing the clock is running really fast along with being very mindful of the surroundings and that can create a level of anxiety that might prove to be counterproductive to why you’re hurrying up to do this in the first place.

I also get that, sure, you do whatever when and even where you can do it but if you walk away from it feeling as if it could have been better if you had the time, well, there’s a lesson to be learned here.  I’m never gonna say that sneaking in a quickie is a bad thing – they can be fun and satisfying and most quickies aren’t really about a time crunch, are they?  Yeah, you can actually take your time having a quickie, can’t ya?  But when you know – or can reasonably assume that you really don’t have the time for a “proper” quickie, yeah, still a lesson to be learned here if you do it and wind up feeling less than satisfied afterward.

 
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Posted by on 13 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Get a Grip

I read this posting by mickcase – https://bithebiblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/do-gay-people-believe-in-bisexuality/ – and my first thought was that it just does not ever fail to baffle me to see today’s bisexuals being bothered by something I heard and experienced decades ago, that there are still some homosexual men out there who steadfastly refuse to believe that bisexual men exist and that we’re the ones who are in denial about our “true gayness…” when, duh, it seems to be pretty damned obvious that if anyone’s in denial about something, it’s not bisexual men.

I can’t even begin to recall the number of the times I’ve heard the “you’re really gay” speech from gay men; likewise, I can’t recall the number of times some gay dude trying to get in my case about being bisexual and hurling the usual epitaphs at me about being confused, etc..  Yes, way back in the day – like back in the 1970s – I’d get pretty bent out of shape over this shit until I eventually learned not to let it bother me; not only are people entitled to their opinion (for what that’s worth), if they couldn’t accept or believe I was bisexual, that’s not my problem and they weren’t gonna make it my problem.

Classic example:  Met a gay dude online and we talked about a lot of stuff including the fact that I was bisexual; he said he was cool with that and could we hook up at some point?  I said that we could… but I didn’t believe he was as cool about it as he said but, hey, you’re innocent until proven otherwise, right?  We hook up and it was off the chain and to the point where there were moments I had to resist the urge to start laughing over the way he was behaving as I sucked his dick – believe me, it was rather demonstrative.  I guess about a week later or maybe longer, we hooked up again and it was pretty much more of the same from him – lots of hollering and cursing, begging and pleading, etc., and when the dust settled, he looked at me and said that I was a great lover and that I should stop wasting my time having sex with women and become a fully gay man.

Not that I never heard this one before and I gave him my usual but honest answer:  “Why would I want to do that?”

He went right off the deep end – and I expected him to and he didn’t disappoint me as he went on and on about how despicable bisexual men were, that we were all traitors to the gay cause – oh, man, it was epic and I’ll admit that I didn’t make the situation any better when I started laughing, not as much over what he was saying but over how animated he was, stomping around all over the place, calling me all kinds of rotten motherfuckers and as he did so, I was thinking that he should be really glad he wasn’t talking to a younger version of myself – the version who would have kicked his ass over such things.

Here’s the facts that some homosexual men can’t or won’t accept:  Bisexual men are legion; there are so many of us that no one can think of an effective way to find out exactly how many men are bisexual.  It just really amazes me how and why there are gay men today who are of the same mindset as gay men I ran into back in the 1970s and their ongoing insistent that we – bi men – should just stop lying to ourselves and admit to one and all that we’re really gay.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why some gay men behave like this and a lot of it has to do with the odd phenomenon that what we believe is always right even though factual evidence says that they aren’t.  Some of it is pure human nature:  If you’re not like us, you are against us – the fear of the other.  Some of it, believe it or not, is rooted in the tenets of monogamy and the thing that if “George” wants to be with “Jeff” – who is a gay man – George has to give up that which make him the person he is in order to conform to Jeff’s view of things or, plainly, George has to give up being bisexual and become homosexual.  This isn’t to say that some men haven’t done just that but, um, really, most bisexual men aren’t gonna stop being bisexual just because his gay lover would be very happy if he did so.

It’s a crazy way to behave and since this is a behavior I’ve seen way too many times, it tells a very sad story about how after all the decades I’ve been exposed to this, we continue to let dogmatic thinking override logic and fact.  Yes, there have always been bisexual men; yes, legions of us are quite happy being bisexual; no, homosexuality isn’t the only way to go about things and, frankly, if you’re homosexual and still believe that bisexuals are really homosexuals in disguise, well, you’re just totally clueless and way beyond being merely naive about stuff.

And, as I pointed out to that gay dude I had hooked up with, um, you didn’t think my being bisexual was all that bad when I had you begging for mercy and asking God, Jesus, and your mother to save your horny ass, did you?  He even had the nerve to give me an ultimatum:  Give up women forever and be with him… or we could never have sex again.  I blinked, stifled a belly-busting laugh, and said, “Okay, I guess we won’t be doing this again, huh?”

I understand the mindset even though I continue to think that it’s such a fucked up way to behave and is a greater sense of abject denial than what bisexual men are being accused of.  If I tell you that I’m bisexual, what makes you want to believe that there’s no way I can really be bisexual and more so when I tell you that I’ve spent more time relating to women than I have men?  I mean, really… what part of “I like pussy and dick” didn’t you understand?  Okay, I get it – just because you’d prefer I’d be totally homosexual doesn’t negate the fact that I prefer not to be totally homosexual… but maybe you don’t seem to understand that if you choose to berate me for my choice, you’re not doing yourself any favors and you’re certainly not allow me to see you in anything that resembles a good light.  Oh,and by the way?  If you’re always looking for someone to be with – even just for sex – and it just ain’t happening for you as much as you’d like, it’s probably because the bisexual guys who might be interested in turning your ass out in bed don’t want to be bothered by someone who foolishly believes that bisexuals can’t and don’t exist.

Mickcase wrote that it upsets him that gay men have such a negative opinion of us and, yes, I strongly suggested that he not let this bother him because, sadly, there are still gay men who are damned negative about us and there’s nothing we can say or do that will ever change their minds.  I don’t have a problem with a guy being homosexual – it is what it is, right?  If he has a problem with the fact that I happen to love women and pussy, well, um, okay; this, too, is what it is but here’s the question I’ve yet to hear a gay man who this a problem for answer:  If I can accept that you are what you are, why can’t you accept that I am what I am?  Hmm?  And if you can’t, well, why not?  And if you cannot recognize that what you think, feel, or otherwise believe isn’t accurately reflecting the reality of things, er, um, which one of us has a problem?

I’m pretty sure it’s not me…

Thus endeth the mini-rant.

 
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Posted by on 11 May 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Spammed!

For the last two days, my blog has been getting spammed like crazy!  I lost count after yesterday’s spam storm of 90 spam and there’s no end in sight yet…

 
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Posted by on 10 May 2017 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  That Certain Look

I went into Tumblr to clean out the numerous purveyors of crappy porn that likes to schlep their wares in the form of following folks and while I’m happy to say that the number of, ah, purveyors have decreased, some still manage to slip in.  That done, I turned my attention to the first posting and what really got my attention was the shade of blue of the shirt is guy was wearing.

Now that my attention had been grabbed, now I’m looking at what Mr. Blue Shirt was doing.  He’s in a field and, um, okay, he’s got a hard dick in his hand; he’s looking around kinda nervously, looks at the owner of the hard dick who’s holding the phone (I guess) and gives him a slight smile along with a certain look I’ve seen before that says, “I don’t believe I’m getting ready to do this!” before he first starts working his hand on the boner and with another little smile, lowers his head and sucks on the cock knob for a moment or two.

The guy lifts his head and while still jerking the unseen guy, gets this look on his face that, at least to me, said, “Hey… this cock sucking thing ain’t as bad as I thought it was!”  He goes down on the guy – his friend? – again but with a bit more gusto but there are moments as his head is bobbing up and down where you can see his eyes flicking from left to right because, um, after all, he does appear to be out in the open, in a field, and sucking cock.

He raises his head again, looks around again, smiles at the guy he’s blowing, and goes back to work and he’s really kinda getting into it now and now I’m wondering if this is gonna end in a facial or this blue-shirted, somewhat nervous guy is gonna get a mouthful of spunk…

Alas, the clip loops back to the beginning… but that look he had on his face!  I happen to think that look is quite precious, to see a guy being in that moment and, perhaps, not so sure he wants to suck that dick, let alone doing it out in an open, maybe public, place.  I’ve watched guys blow me for their first time and I’ve seen those looks that runs from nervous uncertainty, to “Okay, I’ve committed myself to doing this…” to “Hey, this ain’t bad at all!”

I don’t know if other dudes pay attention to moments like this but I do…

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Just Sex?”

I was just going through forum items on the bi guy site and was reading new comments to a post where the author was “whining” about dudes who are all about the sex with other men but not so much of a mind to establish a meaningful relationship.  I don’t blame or condemn these guys for wanting things the way they want them but, admittedly, I find it fascinating to read how these guys think about something that, by their own admissions, most haven’t actually done yet.  The author, like so many of the men here, has a thing against casual sex and that anything they could do in this regard is considered to be cheap, tawdry sex and sex without meaning and substance.

When I see them write stuff like this, it’s not that I don’t understand where they’re coming from; the most ideal situation is to find one guy and in a FWB mode, hang out with each other with and without clothing.  It’s safer, provides a level of investment that’s comfortable and, most of all, it’s not casual sex… and I find myself wondering if these men who have this mindset really understand the full scope of male bisexuality.  The author seemed to be appalled that there were a lot of men reaching out to him and weren’t all that interested to hear his life story – they just wanted to know if they can meet and get each other off in the NSA mode.  I laughed when I first read the post because it reminded me of how some women tend to ask us, “Is that all you ever think about?”

As it turns out, um, yeah, pretty much – we’re just wired like that.  It’s a reality that the guys who bitch and moan about NSA hookups don’t seem to want to accept and, of course, it’s not that there are men who are into the NSA thing but why they are; the problem for them is that if the other guy isn’t of a mind to speak to this, you’ll never know the answer.  Sometimes, it’s about time or, really, the lack of; relationships of any kind takes time to develop while it can take a whole two seconds to say, “Yes!” to the proposal of a blow job.  Since a lot of guys are doing this in the underworld of the DL, time is of the essence and the sooner things can get to popping, the better because for it to take a long time can make others suspicious, like a girlfriend or a wife; some guys are so closely scrutinized (or otherwise horribly busy with day-to-day stuff) that their trips to the DL for some cock are limited and, as such, it’s about cutting through all the lovey-dovey stuff and getting right to the business at hand.

Some guys want to avoid anything that looks like a relationship and the most dreaded emotional entanglement, falling in love with the other guy; as weird as it might sound, having sex with another dude isn’t “as gay” as the possibility of falling in love or, damn it, having him fall in love with you so the best way to keep this from happening is to not be in a position for this to happen… so you bypass the “getting to know you better” part and get right to making dicks hard and making them soft again.  Some guys are already in a relationship so getting into a meaningful and substantial relationship with a guy, while not really a bad thing or idea, just complicates an already complicated situation so, of course, the idea here is to make things less complicated if and whenever possible.

Yup… some guys are just really arrogant and conceited assholes and have attended the school of “less talk, more sex” and even I have a dislike for guys who behave like this; you’ve seen me write at times about guys who’ve contacted me and demand that I let them fuck me (which I ain’t even into anymore) and that if I don’t, well, I must not be a real man.  It’s an occupational hazard for bisexual men and the nature of the beast… but what I find interesting when the membership starts riffing against hookups and the lack of personal investment is simply this:  Do these men know anything about men?  Better still, um, how can you be a guy and not know how we tend to behave and more so when our dicks get hard?

There’s a perception at play here and I will now apologize to any women reading this and say that I mean no offense or disrespect at all:  Men are easier to get into bed than women are because men tend to be more no-nonsense about it.  Here’s the truth:  While, comparatively speaking, this is true, um, men can be more difficult to have sex with than women are known to be because there are a lot of bisexual men who aren’t fans of casual sex; if you’re not gonna be into them, don’t want to take the time to know them as a person, it’s a huge deal breaker.  If you don’t show the desire or potential to be a repeat and invested customer, well, you’re a sorry sack of shit for thinking you can treat me like I’m just a piece of ass.  But this gets better because a lot of these guys who bemoan the quick and dirty hookup have also said that they have no real desire to be in a “committed relationship” with another man and they say it as if a FWB relationship isn’t a relationship.

If ya thought women can be funny about sex, men can be even funnier when you take a closer look and the clincher is that a lot the guys who pitch a bitch about this have yet to have their first M2M experience and they also spend a lot of time wondering why they can’t find someone to have that first experience with.  It makes a kind of sense that some women just aren’t all that fond of us because 80% of the time, we have sex on the brain; yes, Virginia, sometimes, that’s all we do think about… but I ask again how you can be a guy with sex on the brain, want to have sex with another guy… but expect him not to have sex on the brain as well?  Is it me or does it sound just a tad bit hypocritical (or, perhaps, naive) to want to establish something with relationship overtones – like, getting to know each other a lot better – but, at the same time, don’t wanna be bothered with relationship-type things, like dating?

Finally, I’m not saying that the guys riffing about this aren’t within their right to do so – I just find it interesting when they do riff about it and more so when their only sexual experience with men lies only within their fantasies of having that first real experience…

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Again With the Top Searches?

I’d just left the Reader, you know, just checking out what the people I follow have been writing, and went to WP Admin to look for spam that needed deleting and I saw this in Top Searches just before I was about to close my browser:  “big booty intercrural cock” and, well, you know the routine by now, don’t you?

First thought:  “What?  Again?”

Second thought:  “I don’t know who wrote this but it doesn’t make sense…”

Third thought:  “Okay, well, um, if the guy you might be having intercrural sex with happens to have a big booty, there’s, um, some value here…”

Fourth thought:  “Lemme write something about this – again…”

Those of you who have been paying attention to what I’ve written about this when the word “intercrural” shows up on my Dashboard as a Top Search item will remember that I often have a good time writing about this and that I’ve tried to explain this form of M2M sex and how it allows a man to be screwed by another man without the hassles of having a hard dick shoved up their ass.  I’ve even allowed that this form of sex works well for the guy doing the screwing based on the “If I don’t really penetrate him, it’s not gay” school of thought.  It’s a dodge and a cop-out kind of justification, of course, because it is gay.

Big booty intercrural.  Well, sure – if a guy has a big old butt and, in particular, a deep cleft between his massive butt cheeks, that’s a great environment for intercrural sex and more so if the guy working between those cheeks isn’t overly endowed and there’s no chance of accidental insertion.  Even if the guy is overly endowed, eh, there’s a chance of accidental insertion but I’d have to say that if the guy doing the humping doesn’t try to get in there, it’s no harm, no foul.  One way to look at this is to see is as masturbation without the use of hands and guys with big booties (and deep clefts) can be seen as more desirable for this than a guy with, um, less booty and not much of a cleft to probe around in.

“Big booty intercrural cock…”  I can’t honestly say that I understand this phrasing; was the author of this search wondering how big or small a cock has to be for this?  As I said, there’s the whole accidental insertion thing to take into consideration so the longer the dick, the greater the chance of this.  Again, I know guys who prefer being screwed in this fashion because they get all the “benefits” of being screwed without any of the pain of anal insertion and it’s easier to prepare for:  Just wash that ass really good.  I know that being screwed like this does feel good, even when the guy is pressed up against my hole, bumping and knocking on the door as it were.  Lubrication – and, as it seems, a “natural” relaxation of “the door” can allow a bit of penetration even when both parties would prefer that this doesn’t happen; guys with not a lot of booty (um, like me) can be of a mind that, okay, if the tip happens to poke in there, that’s fine – just don’t try to get any more than that in there, okay?  Sure, it’s a trust issue and one that has the possibility of being violated… and right along with your butt hole.  Guys with the big butts and deep clefts can certainly feel homey knocking on the door and if the dick is long enough to fill up that cleft quite a bit, there could be some tip insertion – again, whether this is a problem or not depends on the two guys and whatever level of trust has been established.

It’s an interesting way for two men to screw each other, butt and cock size notwithstanding.  Should guys screw each other like this and is it safer?  I’d have to say that while knocking on the door can carry a degree of risk, that depends on how well the guy being poked washed his ass and, of course, the greater risk comes in actually, uh, breaking the door down.  Does it allow for less of an impact on one’s sensibilities?  I’d have to say it does; the guy doing the screwing can convince himself that because he’s not dick-deep in the other guy’s ass, he’s not doing anything homosexual while the guy being humped can feel good in that, well, his ass isn’t getting painfully stretched out and since that’s not the case, this isn’t gay, either and more so when the dude cums, it’s going (hopefully) on him and not in him.  Ya might not think this is much of a difference but when it comes to one’s sensibilities in this, it can be a huge difference.  Yes, with some tip insertion, that nut just might go in him and whether or not sensibilities are offended depends on the guy on the bottom.  Yes, I’ve been inseminated via tip insertion and I don’t recall ever been offended by it since the whole head isn’t in there and, honestly, I’ve not heard of a guy being too upset by this although I’ve heard them caution, “Don’t stick it in too far!” not just because sticking it in too far will result in some pain that is to be avoided but sticking it in too far makes the act a lot more gay in the minds of some.

I keep hoping that I won’t ever see this particular search item again… but I know I will and, as always, I wonder why the searcher was looking for this…

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Commonality

There’s been a sexuality war going on between heterosexuals and homosexuals since the advent of morality with each side making their case as to why their side is the right one and while it’s mostly been an ideological battle of words, as in most wars, there’s a price that’s been paid in blood.  Bisexuals (and others) are included in this war and, of late, have become the focus of ire for certain factions within the heterosexual side of this conflict and the homosexual side because how dare we fight for both sides of this war when it’s clear that we should be on one side or the other!

What gets overlooked in the illogic of this war is commonality – those things we have in common.  You’d think that being as intelligent and as civilized as we purport ourselves to be, we’d see reason in embracing that which we have in common instead of constantly trying to smite each other because of our differences.

What do lesbians and men have in common?  We love women!  What do gays and women have in common?  That love of men and, sure, bisexuals have these things in common with both and if you saw and understood this at a basic level, perhaps you’d ask, “What’s the problem?”

Ideology, of course.  What’s interesting is that all sides in this battle actually have the same goals in mind, to find companionship, love and, yes, sex.  All sides aren’t without a form of moral compass as evidenced by a shared dislike for infidelity, for example, or a commitment toward being committed to someone.  We believe in a lot of the same things but, alas, we don’t agree on how best to go about accomplishing similar goals and despite sharing something pretty damned important:

None of us are perfect.  It’s often amazing how we can live on the same world and spend so much time and energy paying attention to our differences – and getting bent out of shape about them – but not so much how alike we are beyond those ideological differences and things like the color of our skins or, in context, how we care to love and, yup, do the nasty when we’re of a mind to do so.  We all lay claim to the right to exist in the way that best suits us and we don’t seem to object a great deal when others feel the same as we do about stuff… except, of course, when we create differences where they may not be needed and/or to support our own versions of what is righteous and what isn’t.

Chances are I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know but I do wonder if we’ve become so indifferent about things that embracing our diversity and reveling in the good stuff that makes us different – or, really, the things we have in common – doesn’t matter as long as those things never impact us in any way.  Or, it’s no big deal unless/until you find that your partner have developed a same-sex interest and now that’s a problem.

 
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Posted by on 28 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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