I thought of a title for a book I could write about bisexuality: “Bisexuality Made Easy!”
Page One, Chapter One reads, “You like boys.”
Page Two, Chapter Two reads, “You like girls.”
Page Three, Chapter Three reads, “For sex.”
Page Four, Chapter Four reads, “For emotional content/relationships”
Page Five, Chapter Five reads, “Or all of the above.”
Page Six, Chapter Six ends the book and says, “Have fun with it and don’t make it weird!”
Anything else is overthinking it. Gilding the lily writ large. I wonder if I could get away with charging $9.99 for this groundbreaking tome? Nah, probably not, huh? But when you strip away all the riffing and drama, those six pages pretty much defines bisexuality, and you will note that I did not include the “G” word due to it being irrelevant or what does that have to do with the price of rice in China?
What fucks it up is that there’s the definition for bisexuality and then there’s what everybody thinks it should be and in their own somewhat humble opinion; I’ve explained bisexuality to some using those six “pages,” only for them to tell me that I’m wrong – and here comes their version of what they think it means and, hmm, I don’t know but maybe I have a better take on this since I’m bisexual – but I could be wrong and I’ve been told that I’m wrong and, well, you see what the problem is, don’t you?
The moment you start to think that bisexuality isn’t those six pages, you’ve screwed the pooch. Yes, you get bitten by the bug and you will have to figure out what the fuck just happened and then do your best to make sense of it and you’d think that those six pages would be self-explanatory – and they are – but humans, sheesh, if something a be fucked up, we can royally fuck it up and then stand hard on our right to have an opinion… even if that opinion is way off in left field somewhere.
I’m still kinda tripping over a forum member preaching to me about pansexuality and how (1) it’s not the same as bisexuality because of the “G” word and (2) pansexuals are more likely to be more into their feelings and their inner girl, which is very conducive to making out with a guy… when the question was, simply, do you like to make out? I ripped him a new one… because I could and because it’s stuff like this that makes bisexuality appear to be so damned confusing and at the end of his ass-ripping, he fell back onto his right to have an opinion and I agreed that he does… but not when his opinion detracts from a specific topic – and one that he did not speak to except to push his pansexual agenda out there for all to see.
His “mistake” is that I saw it and, I tried not to say anything – I really did – but the more he’s pushing his agenda out there, I had to. I just had to because there are/were a lot of other members reading this particular post and taking in all of this guy’s misinformation – and all because it’s what he thinks but not what it really is.
Six pages to make bisexuality easy to understand. Now, how you go about strutting your bisexual stuff can be a multi-volume affair and this is the part of the show where bisexuals tend to diverge from our points of commonality – those six pages and I wouldn’t dare try to write that book because if we can complicate the shit out of something, that’s what we’re going to do.
Like homey did a bit of a backhanded bash on bi guys by saying that bisexual men only want to have the sex and aren’t interested in making out – and they’re more likely to sleep with just any old person, get their rocks off, and leave them hanging in the wind and unfulfilled – but pansexuals don’t do this, they’re all into making out, letting their inner girl out to play and romanticizing the fuck out of two guys having sex – because he had the right to express an opinion that has no basis in fact or truth.
It’s what he thought… but not what he knows; it’s the way he wants to engage with men, and he takes a dim view of any many who doesn’t want to make out with him and there’s no excuse for not making out with him and… my fellow forum member needs some coffee to smell.
I’ve made out with guys. I don’t necessarily like it, but I know how to do it because, um, I know how to make out with the ladies. What I know from experience is that a lot of guys don’t want to be bothered with making out; they don’t have the time to make out; they really do just want to hit it and go on about the rest of their day and I’ve been seeing that bottoms… are not fans of men who don’t want to lay it on them and like we’d lay it on a woman but, in a way, that makes sense… because men aren’t women – and it remind me that said member tried to lecture me on men and women who are born with all of the genitalia… but I kinda digress a little.
Okay. One of the things you learn about having sex with girls is that if you don’t get them warmed up, you’re probably going to be in a heap of trouble. One of the things you learn about having sex with guys – and one of the things the girls don’t like about us – is that we can go from 0 to 60 in the space of a few eyeblinks or in the exact moment our dick starts to get hard. Now, I’m not saying that men, by some kind of default, have to be warmed up like the ladies do – and sometimes, they don’t want to be bothered with making out – but you fuck the whole thing up when, in your opinion, you believe that men have to make out with each other… because that’s what you want a guy to do to you.
Or, ha, ha, like this one guy I was about to get with and he’s rubbing my thighs and I’m asking him what the hell was he doing, and he said, “I’m trying to get you wet!” and… I lost my shit and if you think about this, you might understand why I did.
I’ll wait.
Those six pages explains bisexuality in the simplest way imaginable… and no one would buy a book that only has six, simple pages… because, in their minds, it can’t be that simple. I kinda know this because, all those years ago, I had the thought that, nah, it can’t be that simple… can it? Took me a lot of years of thinking and overthinking it for me to see that, yeah – it is that simple and everything else gets lost in the details. What has me giggling to myself right now is the thought that I can go onto the forum and write a post about bisexuality made easy, write those six things… and then sit back and watch how many people are going to jump in with their own opinions of those six hard facts.
They’ll come back with what they think it is or what they think it should be – but I might get someone who’d agree that, yep, that pretty much explains it in a nutshell and the devil is, indeed, in the details covering what you will and won’t do and all that other happy stuff. Someone is almost guaranteed to mention gender, maybe go on a riff about being non-binary and someone might even mention that there’s more than one sex to go along with more than one gender and… if you just read that and are either rolling your eyes or reaching for the Tylenol, I don’t blame you and, yeah, sure, they’re entitled to their opinion – but not when their opinion is wrong and definitely not when their opinion misleads someone else.
Those six things are not my opinion. They are facts and, again, cannot be expressed any simply than how I wrote them. Someone will chime in and strongly suggest that those six things are just my opinion and all because they don’t agree that they’re facts of the matter – and here comes their take on it and now… it’s all about them, isn’t it?
I bring all of this up because so many people get stuck on stupid about bisexuality and wind up making it harder than it needs to be but, yeah, it’s those six pages. I keep saying that it’s not rocket science because it isn’t; you like boys and girls for sex, emotional connections, and/or a relationship and, yep, all of the above.
How you go about doing it is something else. This is where you can nitpick the shit out of what floats your boat and offer up your opinion about the best position to suck cock/eat pussy in or maybe go off on a tangent on a question about bi guys by regaling the membership with how your wife likes big dicks and threesomes. Or, like that guy, you really think you can get a guy wet by rubbing his thigh – and did you figure out why I lost my shit?
Do you need more time? Take all the time you need!
I need more coffee. Those six pages explains bisexuality simply; anything else is overthinking it and putting shit into a game that already has enough shit in it and all because you have a right to express an opinion even when said opinion… is what you think and not what you know and, no, they are not the same things but if you read those six things and found yourself thinking about what you think bisexuality is – and it’s more than those six things, hmm – gotcha, didn’t I?
More coffee. Need it now.
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