Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 12 April 24 @ 1112 Hours

One of my many pet peeves that I’ll admit to is seeing guys who experimented – fooled around – with a male friend and blows it off like it didn’t mean anything, act like it never happened, or otherwise minimizes something that can be important in a guy’s development if they happen to wind up fooling around with another guy because not all guys experience this prior to adulthood.

Did I fool around with my male friends and other guys? Oh, hell, yeah, I did, and it was serious for most of us. Adult Me looks back to those very heady days and can see that having sex with a friend was not just experimenting but a form of bonding or friends becoming more than friends. I could also see that need to… be a part of the crowd and how different the gestalt was for those of us who were in the crowd and for those who were on the outside looking in as well as how clannish we could be as well as displaying an uncool human behavior: If you’re not like us, you’re against us.

Guys who didn’t want to have sex with any of us, well, you don’t have to leave but you can’t stay here. It wasn’t like they weren’t cool dudes to hang out with because most of them were but when dicks got hard, they’d get into the wind and no matter how much you tried to convince them that, really, it’s not as bad as you think it is but, okay, run away while we go somewhere and do it to each other. With our tribe, rejecting someone who wasn’t like us rarely got violent – and unlike what could happen with the other tribes that we weren’t aware of until our tribe – our Band of Horny Brothers – was formed and got up and running like the wind.

The truth is that fooling around like this just wasn’t for everyone and a lot of guys who tried it not only didn’t like it but went away with some degree of trauma and usually because whoever tried to do them didn’t care whether or not any of it was bothering them and, thankfully, we didn’t have any guys like that in our tribe – but we knew those asshats from other tribes who’d try to invade us and impose their will upon us. Some guys weren’t so much traumatized because of the sex but because they just couldn’t do it and now they weren’t going to be a part of the crowd and, no, not like they had to be but even Adult Me recognized that need to be accepted by friends and others even if it was quite wise to not let a potential friend know that you liked having sex with boys.

Now, for me, l wouldn’t say being a founding member of The Band of Horny Brothers was typical because we were kinda out there and when I say that we all went batshit crazy having the sex, I’m not kidding and it was very much like a contagious infection because most guys who tried it went crazy with it and right along with the rest of us. As I was allowed to roam the city, I’d encounter other tribes that was like ours but with some differences and I would sometimes run into a guy who wanted to be a part of his local tribe but they, well, they didn’t want him – but he wanted to have sex with a guy and, yeah, right time, right place and I felt that the guy’s local tribe was stupid not to admit him because his desire to have sex with a guy was usually pretty powerful and made having sex with them one hell of an experience.

One of the things about experimenting was that, of course, we weren’t supposed to do it; wasn’t supposed to know anything about sex and don’t you dare play with that thing (or place) between your legs! One of the contradictions was that if you were experimenting, if you weren’t ordered to cease and desist immediately if not sooner, well, dammit, you’d better give that shit up before you’re an adult! Many of the Band of Horny Brothers dutifully gave it up or they got that cease-and-desist order and it was going to suck to be you if you disobeyed it.

Chasing girls and trying to get the pussy is what we were expected to do – and even I was deep into the chase and learning more about socially interacting with girls but, yeah, you know it – if I couldn’t have sex with a girl, it wasn’t that big of a deal because there were always guys looking to get a blowjob or to sink their boner in my ass – and willing to give one and take my boner in their butt. The guys who walked away would often express regret for walking away and acted like they couldn’t get back into the game – but you kinda understood what growing up meant and once you walked away from something, there was no going back and more so when you had parents hammering home the male gender role and its responsibilities and how it all worked with women (don’t you dare keep calling them girls!) and we dutifully did what we were supposed to… without giving up our desire for a hard dick because while we were supposed to give it up, um, what if you didn’t want to?

If a guy fooled around, it was either a little or a lot and the details varied from doing the “show me yours” thing that could lead to another guy touching your prick at the least or stroking it to make it hard and, boy, did that ever feel good. Or it was right to sucking dick, and sometimes right to attempts at anal sex, most of which didn’t go all that well, yeah, it hurt like a motherfucker and let’s not do that again, okay? Some guys could lean more toward the romantic aspects – but not like gay dudes were and, besides, gay dudes were the Great Evil and even the Band of Horny Brothers knew that we weren’t gay because we weren’t like the one gay guy among us; he not only loved to have sex, but he was into cuddling and kissing and it’s how I learned that… I didn’t really like cuddling and kissing with guys.

What I was learning was that experimentation covered a lot of stuff and everyone’s experience was different, affected them differently, and who knew that this could be so complicated? I would read an article about how boys experimenting with each other was allowed because it prepared them for being able to have sex with a female and, yeah, I could see how that could work except you also learned – and very damned quickly – that females, well, you had to do a lot of work to (a) get them to have sex with you and (b) make them very happy.

Getting into the adult years and encountering guys who would admit that, yeah, they fooled around back in the day… but it didn’t mean anything and I’m wondering, “What do you mean it didn’t mean anything?” while they were loudly professing their love of females – and like they had better be doing lest they get singled out as being a faggot. I’d run into guys who fooled around but because they were busting a nut at the time, it didn’t mean anything and/or it just didn’t happen and… maybe it was just me but this sounded like a lot of serious denial because how can you do something and then say that it didn’t happen?

Well, I had plenty of opportunities to find out why and the stigma and abject hatred of homosexuals was directly responsible for this kind of denial – but what I also was finding out was that guys who fooled around back in the day were more like to… come back to the party than the guys who didn’t fool around back then – and those guys would often find it hard to get into the sex – at first or, for some, not at all.

I had a dislike for guys who did fool around and acted like they didn’t. It didn’t mean anything to them but, ahem, here they are asking me if I’ve ever had sex with a guy and it was clear to me that he’s asking because he wants to have sex with me and I admit to kicking the “denial dudes” to the curb because I felt insulted; oh, it didn’t mean anything when you and your boy were doing each other like there was no tomorrow but you denied that it ever happened – but you want me to blow you? To me, it was a matter of principle and it took some doing on my part to stop dissing dudes for something that, really, wasn’t their fault – it was the fault in the way we were being told what it means to be male and a man so, yeah, if you fooled around back in the day and now you’re all grown up, you categorically deny that you did – and enjoyed – something a lot of guys did and more so when gay dudes still didn’t have the best reputation in the world.

It just irks me to see guys saying that, yeah, they fooled around back in the day and immediately minimize the whole experience – and here they are in a forum for bisexuals and looking for cocks to suck and, I felt, unaware that the reason why they want to play with a dick is because they did so back in the day and, again, compared to guys who legitimately did not fool around but they’ve managed to get bitten by the bug just the same.

I had run into a guy who convinced me that if we were to go to his place and blow each other, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. We’re talking before the fact – and I’m using what I’m hearing to decide one way or the other – and he says that he always wanted to suck a guy’s cock but never had the chance. Well, we get to his place, the clothes come off and he made me feel like I’d been attached to a machine designed to suck dick! Come to find out that he lied to me about not having the chance to suck cock before and he had, in fact, fooled around for years with his best friend and… I felt some kind of way about that. I shouldn’t have and more so when I knew that guys will say anything they have to in order to get you naked and have their way with you.

He was magnificent; his fooling around experiences with his best friend made him that way and I asked him, “Why deny it?” and he immediately said, “I didn’t want you to think I was a faggot…” and it really wasn’t the first time I’d heard a guy say this in reference to him denying that he fooled around and liked it.

It just makes no sense to have fooled around and then act like it didn’t mean anything or, worse, like it never happened. I understand why guys do this and, again, it’s not really their fault but the fault of how we’re raised and being told that guys who like to have sex with other guys are homos, fairies, so on and so forth when the truth was no, not all guys who are into sex with guys are gay.

It’s the year of our Lord, 2024, and there are still guys who fooled around back in their youth and categorically deny it in some way or another… but are making a lot of noise about wanting to get a hard dick in their mouth or their ass and, as far as I understand it, because they already know what it’s like and they liked it when they fooled around and they obviously want to keep on liking it. Curious guys are different; chances are they never fooled around but they knew guys who did and some probably got to see it firsthand – but didn’t join in but, yeah, what’s it like? There’s nothing for them to deny other than their curiosity about something they shouldn’t be curious about but a lot of curious guys will admit that they’re curious and they’d love to be able to take care of that if they can find the right guy and all that good stuff – and I learned that some guys are so curious about it that they’ve learned all they could learn about having the sex so when they finally get to lose their cherry, holy shit – you’d think that they’d been doing it all long!

You never discount how curiosity can drive someone… and if you fooled around back in the day, it’s okay to say that you did and if you liked it or not. I’d often talk to guys who’d admit that, yeah, they fooled around but they didn’t like it – but they kept having sex with guys and they were not being forced or coerced into having sex and… what the fuck? Come to find out that, yeah, duh, they fooled around and kept fooling around because they did like it but that imposed guilt that so many guys find difficult to deal with and is also responsible for them denying that they tried it and liked it.

I’m negotiating with a guy, and he asks me if I ever fooled around when I was younger and I said, “Yeah, and like it was nobody’s business!” He asks me how I could admit to it, and I say, “Why would I deny it when I know what I did and how much I loved doing it then and now? It was one of the major highlights of my life and for me to deny it means I’m lying to myself and why would I do that?”

He tells me that if we do this, it wouldn’t really be his first time because he experimented in his youth, too – but tried to convince me that he didn’t enjoy it and I just said, “Stop lying about it or this conversation is over.” Why did he lie? All the “usual stuff” about being afraid of being gay, what would others think or say about him if he told them that he did it and liked doing it.

“I don’t see the point in lying about it when you’re talking to a guy about doing the one thing you lied about,” I said. “It makes me wonder if you’re really sincere and if you’re lying about this, what else could you be lying about?” I was a good minute away from declaring this deal broken when he asked if I’d give him a chance to prove that he’s being for-real and sincere and, really, I not only felt that I’d be remiss not to give him that chance, I was horny as fuck to suck a dick so he got his chance.

“You might want to reconsider lying about what you did back in the day when you’re trying to get some dick from a guy now,” I said after we were done with each other. “You can’t act like it didn’t happen when you know that it did and if you liked it then, you liked it and if you didn’t, not only did you not like it, but it makes it unlikely that you’d want to do it again.”

I would learn that some guys hated it but wanted to go for it again because they had something to prove to themselves or as one guy said, “Just because I didn’t like it then doesn’t mean that I’m not going to like it now…”

Just one of my pet peeves. If you fooled around, then you did. If you liked it, then you did and while you might not be of a mind to admit this to someone else, don’t lie to yourself about it and more so when, somewhere down the road, the urge to rejoin the party might show up and the guys you now want to engage with aren’t gonna be mad at you if you experimented back in the day and you just might be preferred over a guy who didn’t fool around.

End of any day, it’s a pet peeve of mine and one I know I shouldn’t have but I never said I was perfect because I fooled around big time back in the day and I’m glad that I did and I’d never lie about it – but it doesn’t mean that other men have reason to and… it’s not their fault that they feel guilt and shame over having fooled around with something that none of us were supposed to fool around with… while it was also expected that we would.

More about that one some other time…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Phase

Even in my early memories, “fooling around with sex” by us youngsters was considered to be “mere” experimentation or a phase, you know, something we’d eventually get around to doing but with the the hope that it didn’t last very long and we’d do what we were told to do: Wait until you’re old enough to really have sex – and then only have it with a girl and a girl you had feelings for – and you can read this as being madly in love with her.

Anyone who heard the 1950’s version of “the birds and the bees” were probably like me and wondering what birds and bees had to do with having sex or perhaps being told that babies show up in a home because a stork dropped the newest family member off or, famously, “When a man and a woman fall in love…” Clearly, parents/adults had big issues talking about sex in any meaningful way other than to keep drilling it into our heads not to do it… even when they were 99.99% sure that we were gonna check it out…

And we were gonna check all of it out including boys and girls doing it… but not always in the way it’s supposed to be done. Since a lot of the older folks I grew up around believed that children should be seen and not heard, eavesdropping on some of their conversations was pretty easy and if they’d been drinking, well, they didn’t care about what they were saying and who might hear them so, from what I gathered, the general consensus was a mix of being sure that we had no idea what sex was, let alone how to do it, and concerns – as well as a lack of concern – of whether or not some experimentation would hop off and then spread like wildfire through the kids in the neighborhood… and along with many comments of what a parent would do if they found out their kids were having sex and those who had daughters were dedicated to making sure that their little girl’s hymen was totally intact and if it wasn’t, it wasn’t because she was now sexually active.

Overall, they were of a mind that we were clueless… and we were anything but clueless. It was like one of us learned about sex – somehow, some way – and then all of us knew about it either by word of mouth… or because we were up to our formerly innocent eyeballs doing it and at every chances we got. Big among the many admonishments to not have sex was, most definitely, the edict that boys didn’t, can’t, and should not ever have sex with each other but damned near all of us guys in the hood found out that boys did have sex with each other and it was kinda/sorta easy once it got figured out – and figuring it out wasn’t that difficult since we all learned by doing; nothing beats actual experience.

At some point, some kids were discovered having sex… in some way. Some were punished to some degree while others got lectured about keeping ding-dongs in pants and girlish legs closed. Some adults were very worried while others were like, “It’s just a phase – they’ll grow out of it so all we have to do is keep an eye on them; it’ll be okay.” Yep, uh-huh, right; if there was one thing we knew for sure – and because our parents told us – it was that they couldn’t watch us 24/7 and, as such, they expected us to always behave ourselves. Not many of us were all that innocent but we were pretty smart to figure out that, hah – if they can’t see us doing the nasty, we can’t get into trouble for doing it! Um, of course, yeah – it took a few of us getting busted to find out that our parents might not see us doing it… but other adults could catch us and, in those times, whoever caught us would beat our asses, take us home, tell our parents what went down – and then more ass-whupping would commence.

Even if we didn’t get busted – and, honestly, not many of us did – we’d be told that, on the one hand, it was okay to experiment with sex but, on the other, it wasn’t okay and followed with their “real concern” of very young girls “getting into trouble” – 1950s speak for getting pregnant – and lives being ruined because of sex… but as far as us guys were concerned, they did not even want us experimenting with sex with each other and, oh, yeah – don’t even think about playing with your penis because if you do, you will go blind and all that.

Maybe they knew that we were already up to our noses in having sex or maybe they were crossing their fingers and hoping that the phase would just pass over us… but what I knew for a fact that at and by the time the warnings and, yes, threats about not having sex began in earnest, there weren’t too many of us who didn’t know what sex was and/or how to do it. Not all of us were of a mind to check the sex thing out but for those of us who were, well, it was pretty unfettered exploration – not experimentation; if there was a way to have sex, um, it happened and with a lot of excited glee and eagerness and especially amongst us boys and it did spread like wildfire among us and to the point where even those guys who were scared to have sex were changing their minds and wanting to know what it was like not only to do the nasty – and as we called it – but what it was like for boys to do the nasty to each other.

Girls wanted to know, too, but they had a seriously legit reason for doing the nasty with other girls: Girls can’t get other girls pregnant and some of them were probably very intuitive to somehow know that a hymen lost via being fingered wasn’t a real clue to being sexually active although the girls, like us guys, were told not to be playing with that thing between their legs – now, whether girls were told that they were gonna go blind was unknown to us. As I recall, around the time when parents started getting really weird and reminding us to stay away from sex, I was smart enough to wonder why they’d tell us not to do it while acting like they knew we would; I’d wonder how old was “old enough” when it was clear to me that damned near all of us were clearly old enough to do it… but the adults around us spent so much time trying to keep us from having sex and telling us scary stories about it that we did know how sex could turn into a very bad thing.

And I’d wonder why a lot of parents continued to believe that we weren’t gonna check out sex and because we weren’t supposed to know about it… while going out of their way to tell us not to do something we weren’t supposed to know about. And, I thought at the time, they had no idea that, oh, yeah – we knew about it; not only did we know – and because we learned from each other – we were doing it in ways that would give those stodgy adults heart attacks… or maybe not since, again, the general consensus was that we were gonna experiment with sex anyway.

Those of us who were, um, taking experimentation – really exploration – to the “extremes” were having a field day of epic proportions with this sex thing because we could do the nasty with a boy or a girl and there weren’t too many of us who didn’t want to check it out like this and for no other reason, sometimes, because we were told not to. Just made sense to us to find out why we weren’t supposed to and being told that just made the majority of us even more curious to find out why two boys shouldn’t have sex with each other and, as far as we could tell and as we discovered, it was just way too much fun not to do it in the way we were told never to do.

Some very interesting things could happen when one boy sucked on another boy’s dick and, wow, did that feel both very weird and very good all at the same time and even more so when we all got to the point where we could ejaculate – and that just made doing it to each other even more fun whether “the jizz” or, as earlier called “baby making stuff,” would wind up in someone’s mouth or, just as good or even better, in someone’s hiney hole. Yeah… that way would hurt a little (or a lot, depending) but once it was in there, hmm – it didn’t hurt all that much! And if the guy who was doing it to you was shooting the jizz, well, that felt really good and weird, too. Even the guys who were too scared to actually do it would, at the least, pull their dick out and pull on it until the shot jizz – or proved that they were lying when they said they were and, boys being boys, yeah – we’d have contests to see who could not only shoot jizz but who could shoot it the farthest or who could shoot a lot of it – and let’s not forget comparing dicks for size and shape and whether or not you had all of that skin or you didn’t.

While it was kinda unknown if the girls were going batshit crazy doing it to each other, us guys? Into it like a very, very bad habit. We had two real fears: One was being called a faggot or queer or a fairy and the other was getting caught doing it to another boy and the resolutions were easy to think of: Don’t tell anybody that we did this and don’t get caught doing it. Didn’t always work; who knew that guys were very prone to kissing and telling and the one thing that girls were afraid of – and not without good reason; I’m sure they were very tired of us guys chasing them down and asking them if we could do it to them… and probably more of a reason for them to sneak around and doing it to each other since, (1) boys had big mouths and would tell everyone, (2) some of us, apparently, didn’t know how to do it right and make it feel really good to them and, (3) licking and fingering each other “down there” wouldn’t get them pregnant.

Yeah… we figured out pretty quick that if you shot the jizz in another guy’s butt, the only thing that was gonna happen was his butt would get all sticky and messy. While adults/parents were worrying themselves sick over whether or not we were experimenting with sex and, if so, it was going to get us into very serious trouble, by and large, it didn’t unless we got caught in the act – then there would be hell to pay. True enough, some kids did get into trouble; they either got caught or a boy managed to get a girl into trouble and, as I recall, the first time we knew about that guy getting that girl into that kind of trouble, it was because we didn’t see either of them again… and the girls had a solution – well, the ones who wanted to do the nasty and keep doing it: Do it to them in their hiney! It not only kept their hymen intact but if it wasn’t, well, they couldn’t get into trouble if the jizz was going in their butt instead of their kitty cat… or pussy, to be plain about it.

Not all girls found that to be fun and exciting and those who didn’t – and were very afraid to fuck – would suck our dicks so we could shoot jizz and some were like, “Don’t shoot it in my mouth!” or “You’d better shoot it in my mouth and nowhere else!” And, yeah – some of us ruined it for everyone else by telling a girl that they weren’t gonna shoot jizz in their mouth – and did it anyway; or the girl would take the chance being fucked – but don’t shoot jizz in there and the idiots and liars among us would do it anyway – and then say it was an accident; sometimes it was but most of the time?

If the girls in our neighborhood were doing it to each other, they had a lot of good reasons to avoid boys…

They call it experimentation and a phase that one goes through then grows out of but the reality – and as I came to understand it – was that it wasn’t so much experimentation as it was exploration; in my mind, the first time was the experiment and if it was deemed to be okay and all that, the exploration began in earnest and, yeah, among us hormone-crazed guys? It didn’t take a whole lot to figure out that if a girl didn’t want to do the nasty, there were plenty of us who had no qualms about getting together so we could do it to each other whether it was one-on-one… or a whole group of us getting naked to suck and fuck each other… any time, any place, and in every way we could manage to do it.

And true to what the adults had been saying, some guys were all into doing it with other boys and just stopped doing it that way and set their focus solely on girls… while many of us just didn’t stop. A lot of girls, once they started getting their period, would refuse to have sex and understandably so and a guy would be lucky to get a girl to jerk him off or to give him a blow job; that was a bummer… but there were always other guys who would be more than willing and ready to have sex and more so since girls were now being all stuck up about it. And to make matters “worse,” there were some girls who’d tell us to our faces that they were having more fun doing it to other girls than they ever did doing it with us.

In our, um, exploration group, we did, in fact, have one gay guy among us and, as I recall, there were at least two girls who were all about doing it with other girls and boys better not even ask to do it to them… and that was fine since we had that one guy in our group who was always willing for boys to do it to him and more so when he considered himself to be more girl than boy. We were discovering not only sex but sexuality during our exploration of that thing they called sex and while a lot of our “collective” stayed away from having sex like this, um, a lot of us just didn’t; it was just way too much fun to go somewhere “private” with a male friend and do something and if it was deemed to be too risky to fuck – and read that as there was a great chance of getting caught doing it – it didn’t take a whole lot of time for us to suck each other off and we didn’t even have to get totally naked to do that – just unzip your pants and pull it out.

A phase for some of us – they did it for a while and in some way and then just stopped doing it; an experiment for some of us who just did it once and didn’t find it to their liking or it just increased their fears… but a great deal of exploration for those of us who, if we didn’t know anything else about this sex thing, we knew it was fun to do and it felt really good to do it and regardless to whether it was a boy or a girl we were doing it to and with.

So much for all of us being innocent and so much for us not knowing anything about that sex thing. Many of us weren’t all that innocent and we did know what we were doing and adults did help us know because they kept telling us not to do it – period. In later years, I’d think about that and start laughing and saying that by telling us not to fool around with sex, they were pretty much telling us to go ahead and fool around with it… and we did. With great gusto. Every time we had a mere few minutes and out of the sight of those bothersome adults. Sucking dick and eating pussy and lots of pussies and asses being fucked and creamed.

We knew. We figured it out and we taught it to each other and the thing I’d eventually learn was that while it felt like we were “the first ones” to find out about sex, we really weren’t: A lot of kids find out about sex and in the same way we did and the “proof” of this was our parents telling us that they used to be our age, once upon a time; kid logic would suggest that if they used to be our age – and, at the time, it was hard to imagine that – then the reason why they were telling us not to have sex was because they, too, knew what it was like to have sex when they were our age! And they knew the same things about it that we were learning and exploring!

But along the way, I was hearing a lot of people talking about homosexuality – the big button topic of the day – being a phase and that any youngsters that experimented with it would either grow out of it… or the phase would shift into full homosexuality… and here in 2020, a lot of people actually believe that bisexuality is just a minor pitstop to being fully homosexual. I even hear grown-up guys and gals talking about how they want to experiment with this form of sex and some wonder why they’re just now getting into this “phase” and somehow managed to bypass it during the ages when it was kinda/sorta allowed and expected and greatly frowned upon as well.

The semantical argument is… interesting. I’m of a mind that the word “experimentation” is, at best, an inaccurate description but the word “exploration” is more accurate and fitting. An experiment, at least in scientific terms, is a way to find out how something might work and, if you use this as a starting point, one’s first “attempt” at sex is the experiment and if it “works” – and that depends on how one thinks it went good or bad – then either the experiment stopped or the exploration would begin – and that’s not to say or suggest that the initial experiment wouldn’t be repeated for some reason.

It has always been said that “boys will be boys” and the unspoken – yet well known – thing about boys being boys is that we can and will get it into our heads to have sex with each other. It’s always been frowned upon, of course, and parents continue to fervently hope that if they have sons, they’re not gonna find out about this kind of sex and if they do, it won’t be any time soon… and it has always cracked me up to hear parents say, with a great deal of pride and surety, that their offspring would never experiment with sex and definitely never in a way that would resemble homosexuality.

And true enough, not all kids experiment or explore sex until they feel they’re now old enough to do so… it’s just one of those things that “being old enough” – which really means being responsible and aware of the consequences – doesn’t always happen when a kid turns 16 or 17 or even older than that: Some of us find out about this sex thing way before our teenaged years and, yeah, in spectacular fashion – that means doing the nasty in every way we’re not supposed to do it. If that was in the same-sex way, okay – we called it being queer and trust me when I say that it wasn’t a good thing to be called. But a lot of us in the “collective” did it with boys and girls and it would be a while before I learned there was a word for that: Bisexual. Not heterosexual and not homosexual.

“So that’s what I’ve been doing!” That blurted out exclamation got me some very dirty looks from the librarian at the public library because, um, yeah, it came out loud enough to turn a lot of heads in my direction. Experimentation… or exploration? I’ll leave it up to you do decide which word makes the most sense to you. The adults I grew up around were of a mind that we didn’t know – and shouldn’t find out – a damned thing about sex and the many ways it can be done. They also knew that we would find out about it, too, but continued to hold on to the hope that we’d be too scared to find out about it and for a lot of kids, they were right… but for a lot more of us? Not even close. We were into it up to the tops of our heads either in the normal way or in that way that was forbidden and, truthfully, both ways were a lot of fun. Sometimes it wasn’t – and we’d learn some stuff about that, too, but for the most part?

That sex thing was just pretty cool. If finding out about sex was a phase, it was really a part of the growing up phase; just really a question of when a youngster would enter that phase of life… and then what they might do if they entered it before they were old enough to be doing it. The cadre I grew up with explored – not experimented – with everything that could be done, whether it was one on one or in group-like settings and to hell with things like modesty or being ashamed to want to do the nasty with someone. Peer pressure would arrive on the scene; if you weren’t already doing the nasty, wow – you were some kind of square bear! And it wasn’t like adults/parents weren’t aware of peer pressure since there was always some guy or gal – or a few of them – that our parents would tell us to stay away from because hanging around them could get us into trouble…

Like finding out about sex, as an example. They knew that we’d find out about it – they just hoped and prayed we wouldn’t find out about it for a long time and they really didn’t want us to know that boys could have sex with boys and girls could have sex with girls. They didn’t want us to know that because they knew we’d find out about it and. I think, they also knew that if we wanted to find out about it, there was little they could do to stop us other than threatening us not to and exerting a great deal of control over who we were friends with, where we went, stuff like that. Sometimes it worked… most of the time it just didn’t. We not only learned about sex, we were learning about sexuality and even if we really didn’t have any real concept of it; what we were learning was that if two boys did it to each other, it could feel very good even though we knew it was a bad thing to do and we were gonna die and go to hell for even thinking about it.

And if we liked it, we kept doing it and if we didn’t like any part of it, the part we didn’t like got left behind and, yes, indeed, some of us knew about sex early on but didn’t do it until we were in our mid-teens… just a thing that a lot of us weren’t of a mind to wait that long.

It’s a phase; a period of experimentation… but really a part of the life cycle itself. It’s preferred that we do the sex thing the way it’s supposed to be done – between boys and girls only – but what a lot of us learned in our early exploration was that boys doing the nasty to girls wasn’t the only way to do it. We learned this and pretty much on our own. I’d even go as far as to say that we experimented… to test the concept – then depending on the results of that initial experiment, either the further exploration was off and running like crazy… or, for some, their moment of exploration would come much later, you know, when they were really old being 16 or 17.

Two very main and serious things in this: I won’t tell if you won’t… and don’t ever get caught doing the nasty to anyone and especially if they were the same sex as you were. Otherwise? It was on like popcorn and, yeah, we really did say corny shit like that. We just didn’t give much thought about who we could do the nasty with… as long as we could do it. Boys were being boys and girls, well, they were being girls but didn’t usually – or always – get the kind of attention that got paid to us hormone-crazed boys and it was, again, known that our hormones just might drive us to “experimenting” with sex with each other; adults just hoped that we wouldn’t find out about this but, yeah, we did…

And ran like the wind with it. And many of us never got “out of phase” – I sure as hell didn’t and obviously, I’m not the only one who found out in that “experiment phase” window that the sex thing? Way too much fun to do and with anyone who also wanted to do it. Innocent? Not even. Didn’t know what we were doing? Seriously? Even if we started out not knowing, we’d either get schooled by our peers who already knew how to do it or we figured it out on our own. And we knew about it just because adults/parents were constantly telling us not to and there had to be a reason why they’d tell us this… so let’s find out! Again, we learned about sex and sexuality and, yep, we’d find out why having sex wasn’t always a good idea or thing to do.

But we knew. We explored it with each other and regardless to the sex we were born into. Sucking your friends dick and getting him to shoot jizz in your mouth? Way too much fun! Your friend sticking it in your butt and doing it to you until he shot his jizz? Eh, it was fun or it wasn’t so much but it could be done and no one wanted to be called a chicken or a punk for not doing it. Easier to get your buddy to do it – or any guy, really – than it was to get a girl to let you do it to her.

More exploration than experimentation and that phase thing they hoped we’d grow out of or never fall into? Not really a phase and in the way it’s thought to be unless you consider the inevitable discovery about sex later on to be part of that phase… and I don’t think anyone, well, anyone in my day, ever looked at it like that since, I guess, the experimental phase thing was a done deal once one was officially old enough to really have sex; what that age was supposed to be was seriously underestimated and I think so because parents – and at least parents of my time – really were under the impression that we didn’t know anything about sex and they’d scared us enough to not want any parts of it.

They were wrong. On all counts. We knew about it and we figured out how to do it and more often than not, shamelessly so. Just two things: I won’t tell if you won’t and let’s do everything we can do not to get caught doing something we weren’t supposed to do… but we were expected to do anyway and, yeah – even in the way it’s not supposed to be done.

Try it – ya might like it and the truth was a lot of us liked all of it. We grew up with, “If it feels good, do it!” and, boy, did it ever feel good to do it! Experimenting? More like Indiana Jones-level exploration!