Y’all can blame Lafemmeroar for this one. She wrote this blog that got my attention and, well, she is so funny when she writes and you can find it here: http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/disadvantage-of-a-hybrid-cougar/.
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Anyway, it got me thinking about the whole cougar thing and my own thoughts about them probably wouldn’t be seen as nice – but I kinda understand why they exist. I can’t honestly say that I never had a cougar encounter – I have and it went a little something like this:
I was a few days away from leaving for Air Force basic training and one of the things a couple of my friends were insistent upon was me having a series of flings before leaving; one of them was getting me in a bar and feeding me Hustlers; this all by itself is a funny story about me learning what a “sneaky” drink was – but I digress a little. These friends of mine were quite aware that once I got to where I was going, it was going to be a long time before I’d ever get laid again (something that turned out not to be true) so they made it a priority to get me laid and in spectacular fashion.
They told me that they had arranged for me to have sex with a woman who was, unbeknownst to me, actually interested in breaking me off some coochie. I didn’t believe them for one moment – these guys are practical jokers of the highest order and while friends of mine, well, you just can’t trust or believe them. But despite my knowing this – and, yeah, some naivety on my part – I bought into the proposition and asked when and where.
They were overly happy with my acceptance – and it did set off warning bells in my head but I also knew that they’d never do anything to hurt me – make me look like an idiot, yeah, but cause me harm? No way! So I actually let them blindfold me and lead me to my “appointment” and with the admonishment that I not remove my blindfold for any reason during my time with this lady. Okay, I’m thinking that this might not even be a lady – they could be setting me up to get some dick and thinking it would freak me out – but one of the guys knew I was bi so, no, that’s not it… I think.
I was undressed and literally pushed into the bed with a woman… who proceeded to hand me my head big time between the sheets. I mean, she laid the smacketh on me like I’d never had it done before in my life (at that point). And, to make it even better, these two fools were in the room and watching the entire thing – my own private cheering section (the nasty bastards). Girlfriend laid it on me from A to Z, from head to toe and, since my boys saw fit to get me stoned out of my mind before the fact, hell, exploring her body from head to toe on my part was more fun than I’d ever had at any time!
A couple of hours later – seemed like days to me – I’m laying there, having been fucked stupid and to the point where I was giggling uncontrollably – when they allowed me to remove my blindfold and see my fantastic partner for the first time… and it was not only a cougar-type woman but one I guessed was older than my own mother! Not only that but keeping with my friends’ warped sense of humor, she wasn’t pretty to look at by any stretch of the imagination – which had absolutely nothing to do with how handily she trashed me in bed.
To say the least, I was beyond being impressed by her lust and skills; yeah, I wasn’t happy with my boys at all for the joke they played on me… that turned out not to be so much of a joke. I guess they thought getting me engaged with a cougar would freak me out – and it really didn’t. Indeed, I learned quite a bit, like just because someone’s old doesn’t mean they can’t fuck like a rock star. I got taken to school about how to eat pussy, too, something I thought I was quite good at – but she made me better at it.
A day or so before what I’d call was the infamous Hustler Experience, my boys caught up with me and, yep, they were laughing their asses off while asking me where I’d been for the last couple of days; I guess they thought I was at home hiding under my bed in shame ’cause when I told them I’d been with the woman/cougar they had set me up with for the last couple of days, they stopped laughing in a hurry. I actually thanked them for setting me up to be taken to school with her – because she did, in fact, school the shit out of me.
She was a legit cougar, too, as I eventually came to learn, applying the term backward to that point in my life – we called such women cradle-robbers back in the day; she had a taste for young guys because, as she put it, “Y’all can be molded and trained in the way I need a man to be – y’all ain’t set in your ways and all that shit!”
That was the only time in my life I ever got involved with a cougar. Today, I think the term is overused and is used to poke fun at older women who, even in their old age, have the lust and desire to get screwed nine ways to Sunday. Sure, some of them screw the pooch in trying to recapture youth in a way that’s probably inadvisable; plastic surgery, Botox, and even dressing like they’re 15 again and, yup, it’s often laughable when you see women doing this. It does feed into the myth that younger is better in such things and I suppose that all depends on how you care to look at it; youthful enthusiasm is fine but experience is a lot more telling.
I actually know a cougar and have had a chance to observe her, too… and it’s kinda sad. Age, as it pertains to people above the age of consent, shouldn’t matter but to see a woman who’s, like, maybe a year or two younger than I am, chasing after men who are barely older than my youngest son, well, that’s kinda sad – especially if you could see this woman doing her cougar thing. One of the things I learned about her was that once the guy she’s with reaches a certain age, she tosses him away like a used paper towel and goes back to the nursery for a replacement. Rumor has it she’s planning on marrying the last guy she snatched from the cradle – but that remains to be seen.
I’ve had chances to watch other people watching her and hearing what they have to say about her behavior… and she doesn’t have many fans, let me tell ya. They says she refuses to grow up and that hers is a pathetic attempt to recapture or hold onto her youth and that her own daughters are a lot more mature than she is all up and down the line.
Sadly, in this woman’s case, I tend to agree with everyone’s assessment of her and the woman proudly touts the fact that she’s a dyed-in-the-wool cradle-robber – no shame in her game, uh-uh, nope, none whatsoever. That she prefers the younger stuff isn’t the issue – it’s how she behaves that everyone who knows her disapproves of – you’d have to see her to get the full flavor of it.
Unlike the cougar who “preyed” on me; she admitted to me that, yeah, she knew she was old and not even a pretty woman, unlike her younger days; she easily admitted that she loved fucking guys my age at the time and that, at one point, she was seriously trying to appear to be younger than she really was – until she finally realized there was no real point to it and left that alone to “focus” on her lust and desire for sex, something she said she’d never give up until she died. I can only assume that she’s no longer with us today – she was in her mid-60s when I encountered her – she was damn near fifty years older than I was and could fuck like she was my age (17, at the time).
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