There are times when I get to ranting and raving and having such a grand time writing where I have to stop and ask myself if I know what I’m talking about. Right at that point, everything kinda shuts down until I’m “alone” with my thoughts and I begin a self-check of my thought processes. It takes a while – there’s a lot of stuff that has to be checked – but usually, a day later, the reality check is complete and I certify myself as okay – meaning, I haven’t gone off the deep end.
Linda keeps me grounded – I think she even has fun putting me back in my place when I’m off on a tangent. Still, the responsibility to be – and stay – grounded falls on me because, obviously, if I don’t do it, no one else can. As I get older, I still find that I have a need to stay grounded – getting older doesn’t mean I get to coast into advanced age or even to my death because things get to the point where they no longer matter. I get to reflect on my life and every time I do it, I find reason to remain grounded.
Doesn’t mean that “going off” ain’t gonna happen. A lot of times, it’s fun to release the hounds and just go nuts doing something, although I’ve always tried to do this intelligently. I noticed that during my writings about swinging, I was really started to become rabid about it – that mandated a reality check. Yeah, I was having fun and, even more, I meant every word I typed… but as I worked on the last blog, I realized I was flailing away on the keyboard and grinding my teeth at the same time. I was into it… and almost too far into it so it was time to ask myself, “What are you doing?” Because of what I was writing at the time, I had to go back and re-read what I’d written to see if it made any sense. Whew, it did, thank God! If it hadn’t, well, I know I’d gotten my feet too far off the ground.
I was going back and tagging all of my blogs and noticed the tags I was creating were, ah, following a pattern. It’s like when I started blogging, my head was in the gutter a lot – well, it usually is. I know my thoughts and feeling where things sexual are concerned, which differs from what I know about it. When I see people behaving the way swingers do about sex, well, it pushes a button on me and, whoops, I’m off and running… until I have to grab a hold of myself. I have “issues” with people who make things harder than they need to be, probably because during my career, simplification was more important. Even though I know people are different, there’s just some common sense things that swingers, in particular, seem to overlook in their quest to get laid – and I have big fun reminding and showing them how much they complicate getting laid, which is already hard enough even when you’re in a relationship.
So, for an entire day, I had absolutely nothing to say, which is what happens during my reality check. I sat here in front of the computer with the blogging site open… and couldn’t think of one thing I wanted to say. In fact, I was sure there was nothing to be said, but that was probably because everything in my head was on hold during the reality check. The downside to that was that I eventually thought about writing an amazing Father’s Day blog – but by that time, I was ready to go to bed; I’ll take snuggling up next to Linda over pounding the keys any day.
I’m still kinda “recovering” from the reality check – this is the only thing I really wanted to write for the moment. I’m settled, grounded, and it feels good.
Holla at y’all later…