Biphobia

The title of this blog is a word that I’ve been seeing lately that has me scratching my head.  I can understand straight folks having biphobia or homophobia because not being straight threatens the ‘natural order’ of things; it’s a sin and immoral.  What does a number on me is that biphobia is being displayed by some folks who aren’t straight.

That’s right – sexuality hypocrisy at its best, wouldn’t you agree?  I was reading an article written in the NY Times Fashion section (of all places) – http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/05/fashion/Tom-Daley-Bisexual-LGBT.html?_r=0 featuring Tom Daley – again – and the article gets into some of the aspects of gay men (in particular) dissing bisexual men and even mentions this angst from the lesbian perspective.

I know I’ve said a few things about this before… but this is just silly.  The Community would have people believe that there’s nothing but blissful unity within the ranks – and the truth is obviously very different.  I don’t know what’s going on with the gay men who think bi guys are faking the funk or otherwise in denial other than their rather myopic viewpoint that if you’re a guy who likes guys, you should always be gay and to say that you’re bisexual is, in their opinion, a blatant and dirty lie.  I understand it’s just more of that “us versus them” mentality that is a blight on our species – if you’re not with us, you’re against us.

I have yet to figure out why people continue to think that bisexuals don’t really exist… and I’m a fairly intelligent person.  I’ve said, in jest and in all seriousness, that I know that I exist, that I’ve ‘proven’ my bisexuality to myself and to others.  Yep, I’m only one of many male bisexuals and if I were the only male bisexual on the planet, I could see where the doubts and disbelief made sense… but I’m not the only one.

The NYT article said something about the gay community needing visibility to promote its cause – and I get that; the more gays who are visible, the stronger their position is where their fight for equal rights are concerned.  It is true that bisexual men – in particular – aren’t all that visible and this, too, is understandable because a lot of us don’t want to be all that visible and then have a bunch of people busting our balls and insisting that we’re gay when we know good and damned well that we’re not.

Just because we like having sex with guys doesn’t make us gay… or am I the only one who understands this?  It’s not a social or moral crime for us to love pussy and the women who are attached to it… or am I the only one who understands this?  I know I’m an older guy and one who had to figure out and deal with my sexuality like it was OJT because there were no ‘resources’ to aid in this back then… but I figured it out and without the resources that are available today… so why can’t those folks in the Community figure this out and put their stupid biphobia to rest once and for all?

It’s a narrow-minded point of view from a segment of our society that says it’s a lot more open-minded than our straight counterparts… yet I know more straight people who understand bisexuality than I do gays that understand it… and it’s all just fucking incredible and, by the way, doesn’t speak well for the gay community at all… or am I the only one who understands this?

This kind of insanity doesn’t help all the budding and newbie bisexuals out there, those folks who are just waiting to take the plunge and do something about those confusing feelings that are welled up inside of them because with biphobia beginning to run rampant, it’s going to make them hesitant and, worse, make them have even more doubts about their sexuality and more so when they’re right on the brink of full discovery of themselves.  Oh, yeah, biphobics, you’re really helping the LGBTQ cause big time with your abject and unwarranted prejudice – way to represent and recognize!

Here’s the thing that pops into my head:  If bisexuals don’t really exist, where’s the proof that they don’t?  I’m still thinking that the biphobics in the Community are just pissed off because we’re not gay like they are and the only thing they can do is insist that we’re not for-real, which sounds like little kids having tantrums and because the other kids don’t want to play the game their way, they take their ball and go home and keep right on being all pissed the fuck off.

Methinks the biphobics need a time out; they also need to be a lot more intelligent than their words are saying because our history has proven time and time again that the “us versus them” mentality never accomplishes anything except discord and chaos and continues to foster a hatred that shouldn’t exist and maybe because they get their jollies doing this, they are proving that they are really not all that different from everyone else, huh – they’re no different from all the homophobes in the world… or am I the only one who understands this?

It’s kinda clear to me that they don’t understand this…