The history of the human race has shown, over time, that we love to fight each other over our differences; we have that “If you’re not one of us, you’re against us” mentality that has caused so much grief over the centuries and it proves a famous saying: “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” It’s an important lesson that we have failed to learn, stuck in a near-perpetual “Groundhog Day” that continues to demonstrate man’s inhumanity to man.
And this clusterfuck over sexuality is just another example of our lack of growth, our inability to evolve past what can easily be seen as petty differences, albeit the fact that when you’re the one feeling oppressed and shat upon, said differences don’t seem to be petty at all. I dunno… after yet another delightful orgasmic release of thoughts about bisexuality, I’m spent, drained, but not quite sated; my head is in a funky place about it and my ever-present curiosity keeps asking the question, “Is this trip really necessary? Why is sexuality even an issue and more so when one of our famous sayings is to live and let live?”
The answers aren’t forthcoming and we live in a house divided, fighting with ourselves over something that we shouldn’t be fighting over. We accept that everyone is entitled to live their lives and in the best manner that’s possible for them, and this includes being able to love who we want and to have sex – and preferably legally – with others; at the root of things, this is a part of our existence, one of the reasons why we’re here and while perpetuation of our species continues to be important, we also know that the human animal is also all about that which gives it pleasure; we also know that thanks to our very evolved brains, we can be pretty damned creative when it comes to those pleasures.
We know, even if we don’t know precisely when, our predecessors figured out that not only could a man and a woman have sex, men could have sex with each other as could women; I still tip my hat to the first men who did this with each other and the women who practiced the arts of Sappho, just as I give props to the first people who brought fellatio and cunnilingus into the mix. We know what we’re capable of – we’ve demonstrated it over our history and a lot of it is documented… yet we continue to have this pissing contest over what’s allowable and what isn’t and all based on a mindset that might have made sense at the time it was born but one that is sorely outdated and has failed to keep up with the sexual evolution of mankind because while we are still so very willing to procreate, we still like to get our freak on when we’re not making babies.
We’ve learned – and often painfully and at great cost – that we can intimately interact with each other and despite that “stay with your own kind” mentality that still lives within us; we’ve learned that this interaction can not only cross the barriers of race and culture, it can also cross the barrier of sex and gender and then into that place where love and all the perks that go with it can be found. We’ve learned that we indulge in the pleasures without the strictures of marriage and while this has been a goal that our morality has insisted upon for so long, we’ve learned that if this is one of our destinations and we haven’t gotten there yet, that doesn’t mean that we can’t have some fun along the way.
We know, and because it’s really so fucking obvious that Stevie Wonder can see it, that people are either straight, bisexual, or gay; I’m not even going to get into those mental aberrations of transgender and asexuality because while they are important, well, they give me a headache and doesn’t give these brave folks a free pass because even they can be straight, bisexual, or gay – the potential is still there and shouldn’t be discounted.Here’s the inescapable logic: If we know these things – and we damned well do – then we also know that there shouldn’t be any reason for the pissing content to not only continue but become even more convoluted. We know that it is what it is, what it always has been; yet, we – on the whole – continue to not only resist our continued evolution in this but can be sadly in denial that things are not what they really are. Yes – and now it’s time for me to swipe Olly’s phrase so wait for it – the mandate of one man/one woman has been ingrained into us and that in order for our species to continue, being monosexual is the only way to ensure that we, as a species, will continue.
We have learned that humans are either a part of the monosexual fold (there you go, Olly!) or are of the polysexual persuasion… yet there’s this… thing that continues to insist that everyone be monosexual and what strikes me as funny is that homosexuals, once the scary bogymen and women of our existence, are on the monosexual bandwagon and, oddly, agreeing with the heterosexuals that once reviled them and to the point where ending their blasphemous lives sounded like a good thing to do because the other thing we still haven’t evolved beyond is killing that which we don’t understand. We have the monosexual heterosexuals on one side and the monosexual homosexuals on the other side… and we, the polysexual bisexuals, are stuck in the middle and getting shat upon from both sides.
It saddens me to realize that mankind isn’t as enlightened as it claims to be and more so when the folks on either side of us continue that we, as a sexuality entity, don’t exist, that we can’t exist and, moronically, insist that we either be monosexually heterosexual or monosexually homosexual… and it all continues to make me ask, “What the fuck?” Again, here’s some inescapable logic: If it’s okay for someone to be straight and for someone to be gay, then it should be okay for someone to be bisexual… but what defies this simple logic is that there are those who, for some reason I’ll probably never be able to fathom, believes this logic to be flawed and incorrect – and then both factions do something that, to me, seems to be insane: They are denigrating something that, according to them, doesn’t, can’t, and/or shouldn’t exist – think about that one for a moment while I get another cup of coffee.
Someone said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result and I’m thinking that this angst against bisexuals fits the general description. Heterosexuals raged against homosexuals because it infringed on their right to believe in the sanctity of heterosexuality; that “raging” has extended itself to homosexuals, who believe that their rights have been infringed upon and, now, factions on both sides are raging against bisexuality because both sides feel that their right to monosexuality has been infringed upon… and they’re doing it as if it’s going to change what has always been; if this isn’t the epitome of insanity, I don’t know what is.
No one has to like it – again, there’s that right we all have not to like something – but to insist that it doesn’t, can’t, or shouldn’t exist and then pitch a bitch about it, logically, doesn’t make sense… yet we do behave like this; remember, we used to think the world was flat and that it was possible to sail right off the edge until it was proved otherwise. And even when those brave early sailor proved that it wasn’t flat, there were those who continued not to believe and despite the growing evidence that proved that the world wasn’t flat. That mindset wasn’t necessarily ignorance as much as it was a great resistance to the change of the status quo… and bisexuals are going through this same thing, a great resistance not only to change but that their world isn’t as one-dimensional as they believe it to be. To make it even better, there are those who behave like bisexuals but insist that they aren’t, that they’re really something else and you really have to wonder what’s going on inside their heads about this other than our inherent resistance to change or that tendency we have to believe that the shoe doesn’t really fit us when the stone cold facts of the matter say otherwise. I guess that as long as we have the ability to create plausible deniability within ourselves, that behavior will continue… but damn.
We once believed that slaves brought to this country were less than human… until we learned – and at the cost of a great many lives – that this wasn’t the truth; it makes me wonder what we’re going to wind up sacrificing before we realize and accept that, yes, bisexuals really do exist and that despite this, we face the same risks in life as everyone else does, get subjected to the same “crimes of passion” – like infidelity – just as everyone else does or that some of us are very sexual and not so much, just like everyone else is. Our behavior in this mimics our behavior in things political; while your opponent is extolling their virtues, instead of you doing the same and leaving it at that, you have to start slinging shit at your opponent in order to convince the people that you want to vote for you that you’re better than the other guy… and if that doesn’t make sense – and it really doesn’t if you wanna think about it – then it doesn’t make sense for those people opposed to bisexuals and bisexuality to heap shit on us in order to prove that their way is the best way to be.
It says some pretty scary shit about us, doesn’t it? Because the shit being piled up on us can easily be piled up on them as well, can’t it? Oh, wait… no, it can’t because of that thing in our heads (or wherever it lives) that insists that it could never happen to us. I’m not about to get into a statistical analysis of this but I’m just gonna look at it as objectively as I can and say that all the things that bisexuals are being accused of can apply to our accusers as well and, for the purpose of this writing, I don’t give a flying fuck what the numbers say; I maintain that I know enough about this to know that you can make the numbers say anything you want them to. A gay man can be cheated on just as easily – and as quickly – as a straight woman can cheat on her man; sexually transmitted infections and diseases really don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or gay, do they? Gay and straights can be as promiscuous and as greedy as bisexuals are purported to be; we all can suffer depression and including sexually induced depression; we all can be flighty and not of a mind to commit to the cherished relationship model.
We are all human… yet we continue to refuse or deny our diversity – and we are some really diverse motherfuckers; we are the same… but we’re different… but that’s the way it’s supposed to be and instead of rejoicing in our differences – think IDIC – we continue to piss on each other because we’re the same… but not really. One of the important things I learned as I grew up is that if I wasn’t going to like someone, I dislike the person who pissed me off and to not blame anyone else for my being pissed – take out your frustrations on the person who caused them. I don’t dislike someone because they’re straight or gay (or whatever, whoever); if I don’t like you, it’s because you did or said something to me that got you on my wrong side and your sexuality – while a part of your total makeup – isn’t a determining factor when I’m deciding on what, if anything, I’m going to do or say because you fucked with the wrong person.
It is elegant in its simplicity… but while we often preach about the KISS principle, very few of us find reason to truly embrace simplicity and the logic that often comes with it. As bisexuals, we are the best and the worse of both straight folks and gay folks and that makes sense because sexuality aside, we’re really a lot more similar than we care to believe, aren’t we? That the only thing that kinda/sorta makes us different is how we might want to get our freak on when it’s time to be freaky; some folks like to break out the whips and chains and engage in role play that make me nervous – I like to eat pussy and fuck women and I don’t have any issues sucking on a nice, hard dick when it comes to getting my freak on. And, in the grand scheme of things, it’s a difference that makes no difference… or it shouldn’t… but it somehow does.
A sad state of affairs, indeed. We have learned so much over the centuries and, yet, we have learned nothing at all.