As I’ve mentioned, I grew up with some pretty horny dudes and it seemed to me that we all got “awakened” to sex at almost the same time including masturbation. But those of us who were “unknowingly” bisexual, it was quite the secret society since you had to be “one of us” to know that we weren’t straight and that we were having sex like it was nobody’s business.
It wasn’t about being outed as being gay that kept this a secret – it was the very real fear of some neighborhood adult catching any of us in the act… and I grew up in a time where the adult neighbors could whup your ass for something, take you home, rat you out, and you’d get your ass whupped again by your parents.
So if you didn’t need to know – or we didn’t want you to know – you might suspect that we were up to something… but we’d never confirm nor deny the allegations.
Or so we thought. Today I can look back at our “secret society” and how we thought that we were the only ones who knew what we were doing and there was no way anyone else could find out; what we didn’t know about was that a lot of other guys were feeling the same things we were and looking for other boys to do it with. Nothing else explained how one of us could be hanging out with a guy who wasn’t a known member of the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers and that guy would pop the question:
“Have you ever done it with another boy?” Sometimes panic would set in – who was the rat who ratted about what we were doing? Yeah, sometimes, our… activities got spread by word of mouth but outside of that, it never occurred to us that we weren’t the only guys in the ‘hood looking to check this out.
We were some horny fuckers… didn’t say we were all Wile E. Coyote brilliant and that the obvious couldn’t just sail right over our heads; we just didn’t think like that and I thought that our tendency to always be in the moment allowed the obvious to fly right past us.
Guys were “inviting” themselves into the secret society either by asking The Question or, even at our ages, trying to be slick and/or trying to appear to be ‘innocent’ of any of this… and sometimes being subtle about it wasn’t a consideration, oh, like, hanging out with a guy who wasn’t a known member and he just pulls his dick out and starts playing with it… and hoping this in-your-face hint would jumpstart you to do what he wanted to do while hoping that you wanted to do it, too.
They call it experimentation and I guess it remains to be an accurate description although, in later years, I’d see it more like exploration and, perhaps, the “experiment” was to see if one could do it or not; if they found that they could, then the exploration began and, um, in our “branch” of the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers, the exploration was off the chain… and our numbers were growing and it didn’t take one very long to realize that things weren’t just contained and confined to our particular neighborhood:
There were branches all over the city… and even more that many of us didn’t know about like going away to summer camp and finding yourself rooming with another society member from another city or state. From all walks of life; things like race and color didn’t mean a whole lot and despite the early racial tensions of those early days, there were a lot of guys who were society members and, in this, totally colorblind.
With the one and only caveat and “rule:” Don’t. Get. Caught. Now, many societies had a second rule that, for the most part, was upheld: I won’t tell if you won’t. But, yeah, some would tell anyway, not for the purpose of starting some shit or getting someone into trouble but because all of this was so damned exciting that you just couldn’t keep it to yourself…
Which usually had the effect of adding more members to the society. While there were many young horny fuckers who weren’t of a mind to join the society, well, yeah – a lot at least wanted to give it a try and those experimenters would either walk away from it or join the society.
A whole lot of boys. Of difference ages and other demographic stuff. Masturbators. Cock suckers. No real qualms about anal either way. Some members reveled in doing it all while others had their favorite things to do. Things like guilt and shame were usually quickly conquered because the amazingly intense urge to do it would pretty much override guilt and shame and the logic, at least for us, was easy: Does it make sense to feel guilty/be ashamed of something you wanted to do?
It didn’t. I don’t know how many times another society member and I would be doing something and one of us would say, “You know we shouldn’t be doing this, right?”
And the other would respond, “Yeah, I know…” and things kept right on going. Were we ignorant of the risks? No… well, perhaps ignorant of all the possible risks but, again, the only one any of us were concerned with was not getting caught having sex with another boy. The need for secrecy was important because all it took was for the wrong guy to find out that you were a “fag” and the word would spread faster than wildfire and you’d be subjected to just how fucking evil and brutal some kids could be.
Nobody wanted to deal with this aspect of growing up and especially for this reason so the society remained… under cover? Not all that widely “advertised?” If you didn’t need or want to know, you just weren’t gonna know who was a member of the society and who wasn’t. Today we say that what you suspect is one thing but what you can prove is something else… but within young peer groups? You didn’t have to be suspected of anything to get “outed” as being a fairy or some other derogatory term.
Once you get a reputation for something – and even if you did nothing to earn it – “fixing” it was pretty much impossible. Despite that – and in my local chapter – the society flourished and we learned some shit about sex that, of course, we weren’t supposed to know about but, as I began to suspect, it was known that we were gonna find out about it. We weren’t supposed to experiment with sex, let alone in the boy/boy way of things but it wasn’t unexpected. Wasn’t allowed but you only got in trouble if you got caught and sometimes if too many people were running their mouth and word got back to those who would seriously take you to task for disobeying the order not to do that… or, in rare cases, being dumb or careless enough to get caught or letting it be known you were a member of the secret society.
Society members would come and go (seriously, no pun intended) while the more die-hard of us stayed the course and, often, more so because trying to talk your way into a girl’s panties wasn’t even close to being easy – and some girls preferred to do it to each other before letting some boy with his nasty, scary, and horrible cock do it to them. The way girls were made to be traumatized before they even gave a single thought to having sex was, well, I still shake my head over some of the things I’ve heard that women were told.
So because of this, the secret society remained. Faces changed. Some guys “resigned” from the society and regretfully so in order to do what men are supposed to do – meet a girl, fall in love with her, marry her, have babies – all that stuff.
I’d say that at the height of the great prejudice aimed at homosexuals, it became a great necessity for the secret society to be even more secret. It wasn’t just the few gay guys among us that had to worry – all of us who were going both ways had to worry; the older we all got, the more… vicious people one could come across and they were to be avoided at all costs since a lot of them would be of a mind to do you bodily harm.
Yeah… pretty sure I don’t – or didn’t – know anyone who liked to be bullied and made to fight or even get their ass kicked to even being suspected of being a society member. And I’d like you to keep in mind that this was, for me, between 1964 and perhaps through 1974… or thereabouts. The social angst was still very much on homosexuals, which allowed bisexuals to keep flying under the radar and, as I’ve said time and time again, not without good reason.
What makes me scratch my head a lot these days is that call for all bisexuals to come out and be known… when we still live in a society that isn’t exactly kind to those who aren’t straight – and homosexuals “won” a long and hard fought battle to be recognized like everyone else is… and suffered many casualties of war in the process. It makes me scratch my head to see those “you all gotta come out” people insisting on it even when it’s explained to them how inherently bad it can be and the potential to suffer losses that, well, are intolerable like family and friends. That faction insists that because we ain’t feeling that as an entire demographic group, well, we’re not real. We don’t really exist. We’re invisible.
But the secret society has always been invisible and not really as a matter of course but out of necessity since, again, those of my generation know all too well what happened to anyone who was outed as being gay. Not bi. Gay. Because people are, sorry to say this, stupid. Ignorant. Totally and completely clueless and narrow-minded beyond belief.
Let me get this straight: There’s a faction out there who want you to stand up and literally paint a target on yourself so that those who ain’t fans of anyone who isn’t straight can take pot-shots at you? So that the opinions others have of you can go from good to so bad it ain’t even funny? So you can be subjected to a great deal of sexual prejudice?
No wonder the secret society is secret; unless you want or need to know, you’re not gonna know because just like anything else connected with sex, what the society does ain’t none of your fucking business… unless you wanna join but that, unfortunately, can be difficult since many of the society’s membership don’t exactly go around letting everyone know they’re a member of the society.
We don’t look “the type” because we look just like everyone else and, as I’ve said, you could be standing next to a member of the society and not even know it unless they want you to know it. People see this as a problem when it’s pretty much business as usual for the Society of Really Horny Motherfuckers and, yes, indeed, some of the members are female.
What… you thought it was a boys-only thing? Silly you!