Life, Living and Loving: Mrs. Feve’s September Song Project II – Waiting for the World to Change

03 Sep

As a bisexual man, wow – I’ve been waiting for the world to change for a very long time. I love the song by John Mayer, both musically and lyrically. It’s one thing to know that, in this, the world has needed to change and should have changed a very long time ago; it’s another thing to know that, one day, the world is going to change their minds about this not being straight nonsense.

It’s another thing to also know that there are a lot of people who aren’t willing to sit back and wait for the world to change; they want to know about this and they want to know what it’s like… and if, as they are of a mind to think, it’s the right thing for them.

I write that it’s not like we – collectively – don’t have a clue as to how diverse humans can be about having sex, being in love, stuff like that. We do whatever we need to do in any of this and even if it’s in clear defiance of the status quo. We know it. We’ve always known it. And we keep being all bitchy about it because that ain’t the way things are supposed to be.

You’d think that once homosexuals won their hard-fought battle to be recognized and treated like everyone else, that would have been the impetus to get the world onto the path of changing their minds about that which they believe in this… but, no. Well, wait a moment; perhaps it’s better to say that there’s not been a worldwide, wholesale change in mindset but as change is wont to do, it happens slowly and regardless to any resistance in its path.

It’s just that the world ain’t changing fast enough, that change is, again, long overdue. I think it’s not so much a thing about accepting that both bisexuality and bisexuals are real; it’s more of a thing of us stopping all this bullshit over something that cannot be stopped… and any more than it was tried to stop homosexuality. We have such a long history about our dislike for change; for every person who is okay with a change, there will always be someone who is very unhappy about that same change.

There are an untold and innumerable group of people who are fervently waiting for the world to change; they need it to change and the sooner, the better… and I’m wondering if we really and truly need the world to change its collective mind about the reality of bisexuality and bisexuals and more so since so many of us are of a mind that we’re gonna be bisexual whether anyone else likes or approves of it.

And, yes – as I’m writing this, the song is playing in my head and is on repeat. It’s a song with a message and one that, at least to me, says that we need to be better about a lot of stuff and the reality is that we’re just not there yet and it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get there any time soon.

Even within the dynamic of bisexuality, things are changing… and not so much and, as you know, I find it fascinating to see how it’s been changing, from the way I grew up with it to the way it’s being handled today… but how some things, again, hasn’t changed one iota. Not because those who find themselves being bisexual can’t accept the change in their mindset and/or behaviors… it’s just that there are still a whole lot of people who are unable to. The dynamic has taken a turn and one that, when I think about it, well, I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not: Applying heterosexual norms to something that, by its very nature, defies those same norms. No casual sex; only sex in a relationship setting or otherwise trying to put the bisexual genie back in the bottle.

I’m not saying that it can’t be this way… I’m just saying it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for bisexuality to be handled only in this way. It is what we know and even bisexuals are having a difficult time changing what they know so that it better fits the way they want to be… or the way they can be.

Call it impatience but a lot of bisexuals, again, aren’t of a mind to sit on their asses and do nothing while waiting for the world to change. Many have learned – and are learning – that, really, one does not need the world’s permission to be who and what they want and/or need to be – and no matter why they’ve effected this change for themselves. Maybe a lot of this has been born out of instant gratification? If this is the satisfaction you need right now, what’s the point and purpose in waiting for the rest of the world to get onboard with this?

Does one really need a permission slip? Is the change of acceptance just some pie-in-the-sky wishful thinking, like, it would be great if the world did change so that no one would feel bad about being bi and not all that likely to get their head handed to them because they are? Sure… that would be nice… but if I were you, I wouldn’t be holding my breath on this one.

Because while we do have a long history and habit of resisting change, we’ve also been of a mind to do what we gotta do and if anyone doesn’t like it, well, tough titty. Bisexuals – and for the longest time and due to the lack of change – have been of a mind that they’re gonna do what they gotta do and by any means necessary. Fly under the radar? Fine – if that’s what has to be done, so be it. Be all out in the open with it? Great if you can manage to do it and keep your head on your shoulders.

The song is still on repeat in my head… because many of us are waiting for the world to change… and maybe we shouldn’t; maybe bisexuals should be agents of change and, just as homosexuals did, force change and keep pushing for it no matter how long it takes…

And, in the meantime, lots of men and women are gonna be getting their freak on in this dual mode of human sexual behavior. The only fear they should have is the fear of not doing what they want to do… and then throw that fear out and do it anyway and if the unchanged world doesn’t like it, well, fuck them.

I’m gonna get mine whether the world changes or not; why wait when, truthfully, you don’t have to? If the “same old shit” ain’t working for you and making you feel whole and complete, why wait for others to say it’s okay for you to change when you can be your own agent of change because one thing is quite true:

Those who fail to change will be left behind.


Posted by on 3 September 2020 in Life, Living and Loving


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6 responses to “Life, Living and Loving: Mrs. Feve’s September Song Project II – Waiting for the World to Change

  1. Mrs Fever

    3 September 2020 at 10:30

    The world can only change if the individuals within it choose to change, right? So every individual who chooses change (rather than What’s Been Accepted Before) is a contributing wave in the changing tide.

    I see the younger Millenials and now the Gen Z folx who are hitting their 20s and feel like their overall ‘take’ on many things – including (especially?) sexuality is changing from previous generations. So maybe there’s no longer as much waiting to be done?


    • kdaddy23

      3 September 2020 at 10:46

      For some, nope – no waiting, just going for it… but for others? They’re waiting for the world to approve of what they are. Generationally? Every generation has been… better about it; my generation more than my parents; the generation after me, better and, yes, those GenZ folks? They get it… and they’re not waiting for anything other than the chance to put their sexual fluidity in gear.

      And change always begins with yourself.


  2. NaughtyNora

    3 September 2020 at 10:39

    I have to agree with Mrs. Fever…. this generation coming up behind us will (and already are) greatly change how sexuality is conceptualized. I think one of the most important concepts that millennials have incorporated is that sexuality is fluid.
    Great post as always kdaddy!


    • kdaddy23

      3 September 2020 at 10:54

      I agree with her, too. But so many people are stuck in place, fearful of a world that hasn’t changed its mind about such things since like forever. Even I realized the… futility of waiting on something that may or may not happen in my lifetime and, well, patience has never been one of my virtues and, um, damn, you don’t get to be a Certified Dirty Old Man by sitting on your ass and waiting for others to get their shit together.

      Millenials are, indeed, agents of change; they’re saying, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about! If this is the way you wanna roll, then do you!”

      But it’s not the millenials with better eyesight that… concerns me; it’s all those folks who are really waiting for world to change so they can truly be themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

      • NaughtyNora

        3 September 2020 at 11:13

        Yes…that is concerning. Life is too short to be waiting for the world to catch up….


      • kdaddy23

        3 September 2020 at 11:18

        It really is. So many talk about what they’d do IF the world was more accepting and I’m the one asking them, “Why wait for that when you really don’t have to?”

        And the answer is usually,”I know, but…” which is worse than, “Yeah, but…” If it’s something you’d be interested in, why wait? Too many have regrets; they should have just gone on ahead and did whatever instead of waiting. Or, for some, they waited too late to stop waiting.

        Time waits for no one… and change, again, will leave you in the dust.

        Liked by 1 person


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