With my bias fully in place, one answer – which is another question – is simply, “Why not?” Another question would be a bit more involved: “What price are you willing to put on your sexual pleasure?” Or, yet another: “Why put limits on yourself about pleasing and being pleased?”
For some, sitting on the fence begins with yet another question: “Is this all there is to sex? Is there nothing more that can be done?” Okay, um, that was two questions… but I do hope you’re following right along. There is, of course, the intellectual understanding that there is more that can be done and high up on the list are those things sexual that can be done that ain’t just boy/girl. Indeed, it is said that a lot of people have experimented with bisexuality, mostly during their younger days – pre-teen or teenage – while many more have taken the plunge later in life, like in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s.
People who put one leg over the fence aren’t thinking about being in a relationship, aren’t particularly worried about being labeled, aren’t suffering some sort of identity crisis – they’re looking for more out of sex, something else they can do that will continue our ongoing pursuit of sexual pleasure. It’s interesting to note that young experimenters aren’t all that worried about how others are gonna look at them because they’re testing the sexual waters; likewise, older, more mature folks are usually way beyond giving a shit what other people think about how they get their rocks off because it’s just sex and sex that’s made more interesting because it bucks the system and y’all know we’re all taught that we’re not supposed to do that.
You know what I’m gonna say next, don’t you? Just because we’re not supposed to do it doesn’t change the fact that its being done. When I read about the objections to being bisexual, some of them make me laugh while others are very real concerns but nothing in life is without risk and I get that some folks would rather play it safe. It kinda gives me a bad case of the giggles to know that some people would rather be bound and gagged rather than to suck cock or eat pussy; it makes my eyebrows want to crawl up my forehead and regrow my Afro to read how people so firmly believe that having sex with a member of the same sex (MOTSS) isn’t possible without a relationship being in place – then gets me laughing again to learn that they’re not really all that opposed to casual sex.
People can come up with a plethora of reasons why giving bisexuality a shot isn’t a good thing… but I think the real challenge here is whether or not they can come up with reasons why it might be a good thing to add to their sexual portfolio and more so if, in the back of their minds, the question of “Is this all there is?” is roaming around in there.
Sexuallycurious, in his recent blog (http://bisexualexploration.wordpress.com/2013/12/10/sex-and-drugs-and-rock-n-roll/) got me thinking about things one can do to enhance their sexual experiences… and taking a trip to the bi side every now and then is what I’d call one of the possible enhancements. I remember reading a long time ago a little something that said that if you are content with the way things are going, then something must be wrong, the assumption here being that we should always try to get as much out of life as possible and while we still have the ability and chance to do it because, as a minister I greatly admired used to preach every Sunday, our days are numbered and finite.
People like to take bisexuality to the extremes, like, for guys, it’s always about someone getting fucked in the ass… but the truth is more along the lines of experiencing the pleasure of a blow job (or getting one’s rug munched) that fits that ‘craving’ for something more than just boy/girl sex. Not that some guys (in particular) don’t go there, mind you, but getting into a 69 session with someone is a lot easier to deal with than having to worry about all that pain and discomfort everyone mentions about being ass-fucked. Not all women who take that trip to the bi side break out enough toys and strap-ons that they could start their own toy superstore; no, they can find pleasure in some hot foreplay and some even hotter oral sex – and with some judicious use of fingers applied.
So why not? Obviously, that’s a question that only the individual reader can answer; I’m just putting this out here because (1) it was on my mind and (2) I don’t have a problem challenging people’s thoughts and feelings about sex to get them thinking about how they look and think about things sexual and, in this case, bisexual.
One life. One chance – and a limited one at that – to enjoy sex in a way that has nothing to do with the status quo… but everything to do with one’s pleasure. Age and other ailments can and will rob one of their desire and ability to have sex and, personally, I just think it sucks to have to sit back after your desire and ability has been taken from you and then be asking, “Why didn’t I do (add something here) when I had the chance to do it?” Or be in one of those “Am I gonna die?” moments and find yourself thinking about all the shit you haven’t done and the reasons why you haven’t because I can tell you from personal experience that when you have reason to believe that this might be it, you can think of a whole lot of shit that you could have done… but chose not to do and you find that some of those reasons don’t make a lot of sense right now.
I like to think that if I weren’t already bisexual, when I had my first “oh, shit!” moment, I’d be bisexual once I realized that, no, this ain’t the end… but there’s some sexual shit that needs to be done and purely for the experience and the pleasure. I really did think about this during my first “oh, shit!” moment and remember laughing at myself when I muttered, “Well, good thing I’m already like that…”
Someone asked me why I’m bisexual and my answer is simple: I’m not willing to let our morality limit the pleasure I get and can give. That same minister I mentioned earlier also loved to remind us that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. If anyone or anything is going to limit my orgasmic fun, it’s gonna be me because, yeah, even in this, there are some things I’d think three or four times about doing and I’d never say that I wouldn’t do any of those things in some unseen future.
What price do you put on your sexual pleasure? What limits are imposed? How do you answer the question, “Is this all there is?” Are you content with the same old-same old? Don’t have much of a sense of sexual adventure? Being held back because of what other people may think or say? Or are you just afraid?
Why be bi? Why not? What do you have to lose? Oh, yeah, I can hear folks saying to their screens, “Well, you can lose your life – duh!”
And it’s true… but you’re gonna lose your life anyway – duh.
Maybe they’re saying, “It’s immoral!”
Yeah, it sure is – what else is new?
Maybe they’re saying, “But I don’t like men/women like that!”
Who keeps saying that you have to… and why do you persist in believing that you have to?
Perhaps they’re rolling their eyes and saying, “Fuck that motherfucker! I know I can’t have a relationship with a man/woman!”
Again, who says you have to… and why do you keep believing that you have to?
Maybe they’re saying, “I don’t know if I could ever do some shit like that…
I say you never know what you can do until you try.
Could be someone’s thinking, “I tried that shit years ago and it just wasn’t for me…”
Okay, I can feel that… but that was then – this is now, so what does that have to do with anything?
There’s a chance they’re saying, “Shit, I ain’t gay!”
Well, fuck, neither am I – what’s your point?
Nah, I’m not trying to convince one and all to take that plunge – I leave that to the sexual fanatics to do; I’m just emptying out my head and doing my best to make people think about something they’re not allowed to think about, either because someone told them they aren’t allowed to think about it or they’ve managed to convince themselves that they’re not supposed to think about it.