I had reason to think about guys who have taken that initial plunge and are now into the sex that’s possible with another man and the decisions that, invariably, will have to be made with regard to how they’re gonna be bisexual and discover those things that they like, don’t like, and are deemed situationally okay. There probably isn’t a man (and regardless to sexuality) who doesn’t know about gay sex – they’ve heard the rumors and horror stories, could have seen a gay porno, or even use their imagination about this… but we’re once again going to tread heavily into the area of what you think it’s like is one thing… but what it’s really like something else; likewise, it’s one thing to have an idea of what you could do with another guy but actually doing it might not turn out the way you imagined it.
I’ve had guys ask me, prior to walking the plank, “What am I supposed to do?” and I’ve answered their question with a question: “What do you want to do?” You can, in fact, do everything sexually with a man that can be done with a woman with the exception of home boy having one less available orifice so it’s a wide-open playing field and now your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find out what you can do, like to do, would prefer not to do, yada, yada. Yes, you can go on an Internet search and gets a boatload of ideas of what other people think is good, bad, and avoided at all costs and form your own initial opinions… but the key phrase that should be noted is “what other people think;” we do have this habit of letting the opinions of others influence our sexual behavior like, classically, anal sex always hurts and should be avoided like the plague, for instance. In this, we have this other habit of assuming that if we did something and it was bad for us or otherwise unlikable, it is always going to be like that; we kinda don’t take into consideration that when the shit went south, it could have been the person you were with, the situation, location, your frame of mind at that moment, the time of day, weather conditions…. well, you get the idea. So the next person that comes along and wants to do some stuff to you is probably gonna get disappointed because you now have it in your head that it’s never gonna work. Anyway…
What’s the best way to find out this critical and crucial information? Um, give it a try… and then try it more than once or twice to be as sure as you can about it. Yes, it’s good to have as much information about this kind of sex that you can absorb and before you get naked… but experience is still the best teacher and, really, you never know what you can do until you try. Don’t assume that you’re gonna like or dislike something; this kind of thinking tends to set up some biases within you that are damned difficult to get rid of – you might be thinking that, say, swallowing sperm is a bad thing… but you really and truly won’t ever know until you give it a try… or two… or three if that what it takes.
A guy asked once, “How do I know if I’m a top or a bottom or it doesn’t make a difference?” Um, give these roles a try and even if you have a “good idea” what role you already “fit” into. Why should you do this? So you’ll know what it’s like. I don’t know about other bi guys but up until anal sex stopped being a joy for me, I was versatile; I know what it’s like to be dick-deep in a guy’s ass as well as what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a cock… and because I know this, it has an impact on how I’d fuck a guy and, yes, even when it comes to women, too. See, when you crossover to the bi sex, in a way, you’re relearning everything you ever learned about sex and, if your head is in the right place, you’re able to see the bigger picture of sex and how it’s related – it’s some deep-thinking stuff, if you’re so inclined to engage in such thinking – but it’s useful information.
You do have to learn how to have sex with a man, as funny as that sounds; likewise, you should have a good working understanding off all this implies but it’s not enough to read some shit on how to suck cock and deal with sperm – it should be experienced so you will know, beyond any doubt whatsoever, what the real deal is compared to what amounts to be just theory for you. So now your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to get this experience… and not be afraid. Yeah, if you’ve never even had a finger poked in your ass, the thought of some guy with a seven-inch erection pushing his dick into your ass is some very scary shit and you have a choice: Take the horror stories you’ve heard or imagined as fact… or find out for yourself and, yes: At every turn, take all necessary precautions to ensure your health and safety.
Here’s something else for those who about to take the plunge to think about and like you didn’t have enough to think about already: When you agree to have sex with a man – and you don’t lay down the rules of engagement (or he doesn’t) – the other guy is going to make some assumptions that, um, might not go very well. Just because you have it in your mind that you don’t want to be fucked or have him busting a nut in your mouth is all well and good… but if you don’t tell him that, uh, guess what might happen? And, yes, despite what you might think, you could wind up in a situation where the sexual atmosphere is so heavily charged that one or both of you might not mention the rules of engagement before the fact – and now you’re trying to invoke some rules on the fly… and that might not lend itself to a good and satisfying sexual experience. And, yeah – even if the ROE has been established, don’t ever assume that the rules are always gonna be abided by… because shit can and does change when you’re all up into the heat of the moment; not only can the other guy change his mind, um, you could also change yours, too. Yeah, I hear y’all out there saying, “Shit, that shit ain’t ever gonna happen!” or otherwise feel that you’re in complete control of things and all you’re really doing is inviting Mr. Murphy to the party because if it can go wrong, it will go wrong… and just because it’s sex and sex does have the power to make anyone “go off-script” at any time and without prior notification.
Taking your first long walk off a short plank is the beginning of a learning experience that, in this bisexual writer’s opinion, is damned important for the development of your preferences when you get naked with another man. Try it all until you are 100% sure that you can’t do a thing, don’t like some other thing, shit like that – and keeping in mind that just because you didn’t like (add some shit here) with this guy, it doesn’t mean that you’re not gonna like it with another guy. The other thing is that if you’re keen to get balls-deep in another guy’s throat and make a deposit and you don’t know what that can be like, well, you might get miffed at the other dude when he stops you from doing that to him… and I think that a lot of guys who get into this aspect of sex are very guilty of doing shit to another guy that they wouldn’t do themselves and because they don’t have any experience of what it’s like to get gagged by a big dick or how it feels to have someone getting a running start and slamming a hard dick into your ass with great speed and force. To me, if you know what that’s like, you might be more… considerate when you’re subjecting another man to your lust.
And then keep in mind that what some women say about some men being assholes when they’re having sex, this isn’t bullshit: This is a fact and, well, you’re gonna find this out for yourself, trust me; damn, there is just so much shit to be learned, so many decisions to be made if you want to have the best possible outcome (no pun) when you lie down with another man. Again, and just in my opinion, it’s not enough to know things in a theoretical way – you should know what it’s like because you’ve actually done it.